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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated Dark Shadows (2012) in Movies

Sep 20, 2020  
Dark Shadows (2012)
Dark Shadows (2012)
2012 | Drama, Horror, Mystery
2
5.5 (19 Ratings)
Movie Rating Watch
If not for the last 15/20 minutes (sans the atrocious ending, and even then they're only mildly watchable at best) I'd very comfortably call this one of the worst movies I've ever seen - and still will. Not even distracting, and intentionally as non-fun as possible. How exciting, we get to see nearly two LONG hours of nonentities played by actors who clearly couldn't give less of a shit about being there (except for the sole good scenery-chewing of Eva Green) tepidly talk about... like, fishing and shit? Sometimes even to each other! Where's the camp? Where's the (pun not intended) spirit? Doesn't go for jokes, doesn't go for drama, doesn't go for romance, doesn't go for anything - complete and utter apathy all around. It doesn't even look good, dear God some color could have at least made this pop but no of course it's color-coded like ash and jizz. This wakes up a bit when it has a spooky haunted house vibe to it but too bad that's only like a collective (and generous) few minutes of the whole thing. What the actual hell were they thinking, how can a director possibly stoop *noticeably* lower than 𝘋𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘰 (2019)?
  
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