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Jakob's Wife (2021)
Jakob's Wife (2021)
2021 | Horror
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Let's be honest, a low budget vampire flick lead by Barbara Crampton and Larry Fessenden was always going to be right up my street.
Jakob's Wife has a lot going for it. It has a well paced and intriguing premise, snappy dialogue, sympathetic characters, over the top and hard hitting gore (seriously springs out of nowhere and caught me off guard), decent creature designs, a good soundtrack, and the aforentioned lead actors (although, Crampton expectedly and completely steals the show)
My main criticisms mainly come from what feels like a confused identity. There's some good humour sprinkled throughout, and some genuinely funny moments, but it does feel at odds with otherwise serious tone on display. A minor gripe, but one that's noticeable (a statement that also applies to the awful cgi rats in that one scene)

Overall, Jakob's Wife is an entertaining splatter fest that should appeal to any horror fan - don't sleep on it!
  
Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)
Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)
2014 | Classics, Drama
6
5.3 (6 Ratings)
Movie Rating
When you think of Moses (in film, that is), you probably think of Charlton heston in 'The 10 Commandments'.

Not a former-Batman in the lead role.

Yet that is exactly what this is, with Christian Bale taking on the lead role in a film that portrays Moses as more of a General than any other I have come across.

All the key elements of the story are here: Moses's heritage (NB, the film starts without him knowing such), his wanderings, the burning bush, the plagues of Egypt, the Passover, the parting of the Red Sea and the Ten Commandment, with the film going to great pains to, shall we say, 'muddy the waters' somewhat in just what is going on, with OT God being portrayed as a youngster and also only appearing to Moses after he hits his head and being invisible/inaudible to any others.

Which is a choice, to say the least.

Still, this is an enjoyable enough flick!
  
The Predator (2018)
The Predator (2018)
2018 | Action, Horror
Waste of idea, talent and my time
If I was to show future generations a prototypical 1980's "Machismo, Blood and Guts Action Flick", I would pull the original 1987 PREDATOR (starring good ol' Arnold Schwarzenegger) off my dusty shelves and show this to them. It is a film so "of it's time".

In subsequent years, there have been more films that attempted to use the Predator character - PREDATOR 2 (1990), AVP: ALIENS VS. PREDATOR (2004), ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM (2007) and PREDATORS (2010) - all disappointing. All failing to equal the balance of machismo, action and humor that is needed.

So...it was with great anticipation that I looked forward to THE PREDATOR, a new film written and directed by Shane Black (KISS KISS BANG BANG, IRON MAN 3, THE NICE GUYS) - one of the actors in the 1987 flick!

And...I was disappointed again.

This film fails because it never really got a grip on just what type of film it wanted to be - is it a Sci-Fi film? Is it an Action film? A buddy flick? A gore fest? A look at Autism? Black's script and direction spreads all these items out on the picnic blanket that is this film and then intermittently picks each one of these up to show us - sometimes a couple of them - like a kid trying to decide whether he wants the chips or the hot dogs or the Oreo cookies and just shoves them all in his mouth together.

And that's too bad, for Black has an interesting premise - rival Predators battling on Earth - with a ragtag group of Earthlings thrown in the middle - and what a "ragtag" group they are! Trevante Rhodes (MOONLIGHTING), Thomas Jane (THE MIST), Keegan-Michael Key (KEY & PEELE), Alfie Allen (GAME OF THRONES) and Augusto Aguilera (CHASING LIFE) make an intriguing band of misfit soldiers that easily could have been an equal to Arnold's ragtag group of soldiers from the 1987 original.

Unfortunately, they are the "back-up band" to the boring Boyd Holbrook (NARCOS) and Olivia Munn (X-MEN: APOCALYPSE) as a couple thrown together to defend Holbrook's Autistic son (Jacob Tremblay - so good in ROOM and wasted here) in a by-the-book "they hate each other when they first meet, so - naturally - they'll fall in love by the end" plot contrivance that doesn't work at all.

Add on top of that Sterling K. Brown (THIS IS US) as a "mysterious" Gov't Agent who is so much of a bad guy, all he was missing was a mustache twirl and the missed opportunities of actors such as Yvonne Stahovski (THE HANDMAID'S TALE) and NIall Matter (EUREKA) who both just stand around and do nothing. They even cast Jake Busey (Gary's kid) - who would be the perfect "over-the-top" bad guy for this sort of film, but...he is just misdirection and wasted as well.

What a wasted effort, a wasted opportunity and a waste of my time.

Letter Grade C_+: The ragtag group of soldiers were at least fun to watch (give Thomas Jane and Keegan-Michael Key their own "buddy" picture)!

5 stars (out of 10) - and you can take that to the BankofMarquis
  
The Tomorrow War (2021)
The Tomorrow War (2021)
2021 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
6
7.3 (20 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Slow to start but finishes as a fun Summer flick
The reviews that I had read before I watched the Chris Pratt/Alien Invaders flick THE TOMORROW WAR was that it was a pretty okay film for the first hour and a half, but goes “off the rails” in the last 1/2 hour.

I couldn’t disagree more. The Tomorrow War is a safe and confined film for the first hour and a half and only becomes interesting when they take off all constraints and “goes for it” in the last 1/2 hour.

Directed by Chris McKay (THE LEGO MOVIE), THE TOMORROW WAR follows a working class guy (Chris Pratt) who is recruited to head into the future to help fight alien invaders. He teams up with one of the leaders of the “Tomorrow War” (Yvonne Strahovski) for whom he has a special bond with to recapture Earth for the humans.

The premise is solid enough, but the Direction by McKay keeps the film in the “safe zone”, never veering away into anything interesting and original, almost like McKay wanted to keep the events of the future “believable”. This is a miscalculation by McKay (and Pratt) and makes the film “fine”, but not much more than that.

Pratt’s performance is also in the “safe zone” and tones down his usual daffy charm and charisma - rarely a good idea with a Movie Star who relies on these qualities. Strahovski is solid and believable (enough) as the tough-as-nails scientist as one of the leaders of the future humans. She and Pratt worked well off each other and this helped get me through the middle of this film (where it sags under the weight of it’s own pretentions).

Also along for the ride is Sam Richardson (VEEP) as a fellow Tomorrow War draftee who provides much needed comic relief in the first part of the film. But he does veer into the “over-acting/caricature” territory that these types of parts can lead to. It was also good to see Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe in the TV Series 24) up on the screen again. I was rooting for her throughout the film.

But it is the work of the always great J.K. Simmons that salvages the film. He only appears in 1 scene in the first 3/4 of this movie - he is the estranged father of Pratt’s character - but when these 2 join forces for the last 1/2 hour, the film takes a dramatic turn to the Summer Blockbuster over-the-top action hero fun flick that it probably needed to be from the beginning. Simmons looks like he is having a blast taking out Alien after Alien and Pratt suddenly looks interested and his natural charm and charisma comes out.

Watch the first hour and a half as a setup for the last 1/2 hour. If you are looking for mindless Summer entertainment, the final part of this film will fit the bill, indeed.

Letter Grade: B- (the first hour and a half takes some initiative to get through)

6 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
Dead Shack (2017)
Dead Shack (2017)
2017 |
9
7.7 (3 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Storyline... Dialogue... Hilarious (1 more)
The kids killed it... No pun intended
Lmfao.... What a great little flick
So I'm going through TubiTv yesterday and i come across this little dynamo.
Side note. Tubi has over 1000 horror movies on it... So this was after careful deliber... Oh who the fuck am I kidding... I closed my eyes, flicked thee mouse wheel... And this is what I landed on... So much to my surprise... It was actually good for once.
The story starts out with 3 kids and a pair of parents... Even though one parent is a mich younger mail order asian bride... She's still a parent... Sort of... Ish... Anywhore... They are headed out for a week long getaway to a cabin in the woods( yeah... I went there)...
With out spoiling it... The film gets going in the first 15 minutes... Which is what you want in a good horror film.
I have yet to figure put what exactly the antagonist creatures in this film are though... Undead... Sorta dead... Not dead and just crazy... But in all honesty... Who the fuck cares.
The kids talk like kids do... Using swear words out of context... Blaming their folks... Bringing up pop culture references... It was honestly one of the best teenage speak films i have seen in a long time... With the exception of IT Chapter 1... Those kids were on fucking point.
The best part of the movie... And this made me laugh my proverbial ass off... Was the kids are confronting the big bad near the climax of the film... Big bad asks"What are you going to do about it?".
14 year old responds with,"We're gonna tell on you,".
His two friends just stop what they are doing and give him the best WTF look I have seen since my daughter gave me one when she was 5... And I missed a chair when going to sit down... I was sober... *hangs head in shame*
If you want to have a genuine good time... And like a few laughs mixed in with your blood soaked insanity... Then this is a flick for you...
I mean fuck, what do you have to lose?? Besides 1hr and 44 minutes of your life...
  
When a pirate radio station goes off the air suddenly, a Navy sub disappears, and a small island is overrun with killer plants, Lethbridge-Stewart and the 5th spring into action.

A breathless, well-paced action yarn that's also a hard hitting sci-fi. Great characters, great characterizations of existing friends and enemies, much military co-operation and maneuvering, it felt like a 70s era Bond flick. And like all good Bond flicks, everything blows up at the end.

If I have a complaint, it's the end. We rush headlong toward that climax and once it arrives, it feels like we barely have time to register what has happened before plummeting down the other side and the story is over. But perhaps that's the greatest compliment. The fact that the book felt and read so much like a movie, that my brain was filling the cinematic strokes for me, and I was brought back to earth by no credits at the end, well, that's an adventure tale done right!

For a full spoiler filled review, visit www.travelingthevortex.com
  
Before I Fall (2017)
Before I Fall (2017)
2017 | Drama
5
6.6 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
It kept to the premise of book (0 more)
The mystery of character's was given away to early (0 more)
Mystery fail due to film media
Sometimes book to film adaptations work sometimes there a disaster this fell in the in-between. Whilst the film followed the story premise it wasn't that captivating and I think the reasons because it it doesn't work as well in the film medium. In the book the first accident is heightened and where all left guessing the events but are that much more involved because we know what she shouts before the accident we wonder why she shouts it int he film they cant do that because you would see what responsible. I dont think it was the film makers fault just that the suspense that made the book just doesn't transfer over. I mean as a teenager chick flick its okay but the books is deep powerful and meaningful and enraptures you in this mystery of teenage life and leaves you wondering the meaning why she yell what she does. The film doesn't