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Cooties (2015)
Cooties (2015)
2015 | Comedy, Horror
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off a warning, Cooties is a Zombie film where the zombies are children so, if you don't like violence against children than this really isn't the film for you.

Clint (Elijah Wood) moves back to his home town to work on his book and takes a job as a substitute teacher at his old school. On his first day a virus breaks out that turns all the children into zombies. Clint and the other teachers fight to escaper the school and find out what is happening.

Cooties is quite a self aware film, in one of the first scenes Clint askes his mother what she thought of his book and she tells him that the the characters are unlikable, the plot makes no sense and it's boring, the first one of those is true, most of the characters are unlikable, at least at the start of the film. The pre-zombie children are brats and the teachers range from meek to bullies. Making the children unlikable is necessary because of what happens later.
Some of the teachers do undergo character growth, as I said they start off unlikable but a few of them become more likeable as we find out what made them become teachers and how they react to the situation.
Saying that though, Cooties is not an overly cleaver film, it's a zombie film that uses horror tropes; people are trapped in small rooms, there are air vents, people get eaten and, despite how it starts there is no big message to the film. I say despite how it starts because I did think that it was going to be a big 'Anti Meat' film but any sigh of that is forgotten very soon and, apart from a slight pro-teacher message the film soon becomes another zombie flick, it doesn't even have the usual political undertones like the night of the living dead film.

Over all Cooties is generally a good zombie film but I think it will lose a big chunk of it's audience because it becomes quite violent as the teaches have to fight the children to get out.
Don't expect anything great, Cooties is just another zombie film with a gimmick that some will find distasteful but, if you like your zombie films with a bit of humour and mindless action and you can look past the fact the zombies are children then give Cooties a go.

One last thing, I did find myself asking, if the air vent is big enough to fit to small adults side by side then it must have been big enough for a large man so any one could have gone on the mission.
  
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)
2021 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Suffers from Sequel-itis
If you ever heard of the term “Sequel-itis” and wondered what a good example of film suffering from this malady would be, look no further than VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE.

The sequel to the surprisingly well made - and well acted - 2018 VENOM that introduced audiences to the (sometimes) villain, (sometimes) anti-hero, VENOM and the human/symbiot that he has bonded to (it makes sense in the first film) - this sequel looks and feels like a quick “money-grab” that is keeping this character “warm” for bigger things (I hope) down the road.

Directed by famed motion capture expert, Andy Serkis, VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE feels like a movie that was directed by a Special FX veteran for this film is long on special effects and short on what makes a film work - plot and character.

And that’s too bad for the 2018 VENOM film was a surprise in that while it had it’s CGI moments (and plenty of them), it also had interesting plot and characters and took full advantage of two of the better actors working today - Tom Hardy and Michelle Williams.

The sequel looked promising enough as both Hardy and Williams were back and Woody Harrelson was cast as the main villain (with Naomi Harris along as the villain’s sidekick) so some of the ingredients were there for a quality sequel.

Unfortunately, this sequel leaned heavily into the CGI-ness of the first film and made the CGI Alien Venom the focal point of the story, relegating the humans to the back. No actor was pushed further to the back than Williams who was stuck with a weak “damsel in distress” arc while Harrelson and Harris take turns over-acting the other making their pair of villains some of the weakest in recent comic-book movies memory.

And then there is the performance of Hardy as Eddie Brock. He is sleepwalking his way through this film, looking like he has very little interest in what is going on and just wants to grab his paycheck and get home.

Some of these sins could be forgiven if the CGI elements - and the battles between Venom and Carnage - are interesting. Unfortunately, they just are not - they are “fine”, but nothing interesting or original, so this film is destined to get washed off the shore (and memory) as quickly as a sandcastle is washed away on a beach.

If you are going to check out this flick, make sure you stay for the “end credits” scene (which is only, thankfully, about 2 minutes into the credits), it is the best part of this film.

Letter Grade: C+

5 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
Renfield (2023)
Renfield (2023)
2023 | Comedy, Horror
7
6.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Cage feels Caged-In
Sometime you are in the mood for a drama, sometimes an action flick, other times a romantic comedy.

And then there are times you just want to watch Nicholas Cage camping it up on-screen as Dracula.

If that is the mood you are in, boy do I have a movie for you.

Based (very loosely) on the character created by Bram Stoker (and the classic 1931 film starring Bela Lugosi), RENFIELD tells the tale of an over-the-top Dracula in modern times as seen through his “familiar”, Renfield.

Nicholas Hoult (Beast in the latest series of X-Men films) plays Renfield as a put-upon assistant to Dracula - kind of a comedy/horror version of the relationship of Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA - and it works (for the most part). Hoult is a winning (enough) and sympathetic presence on screen and you find yourself rooting for him in the end.

The surprising thing to me in this film is the sub-plot of Renfield finding love with a Police Office portrayed by (of all people) Awkwafina. This comedienne/actress has really grown on the BankofMarquis as a solid and dependable presence on screen and she doesn’t disappoint here. And that’s a good thing for the Renfield/Rebecca the Cop relationship ends up taking center stage during the 2nd act of this film (moving Nic Cage’s Dracula off-screen for a long stretch of time) and it works for Hoult and Awkwafina play off each other very well.

As for Cage, his Dracula is off-center, wacky, frenetic and out-of-this world. A true fish-out-of-water. But…if I’m being honest…his performance feels reigned in and it didn’t go far enough out-of-the-box and didn’t get nearly crazy enough for my tastes.

When something like that happens, one needs to look no further than the Director and Chris McKay (THE LEGO MOVIE, THE TOMORROW WAR) has a track record (at least for the BankofMarquis) of pulling his punches - and he pulls many, many punches in this film. But, he also DOESN’T pull punches at times (like in the scene where one guy gets his arms ripped off and then these arms are used as nunchucks on a bevy of bad guys). He doesn’t really know how far or how outlandish he should go. So he filters in a comedic amount of blood and gore - and then reigns Cage in. It’s an odd choice.

If you decide to watch Renfield, you already know what to expect - and for the most part you get it - except in the one spot that you really need it.

Letter Grade: B

7 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)
2022 | Action, Comedy
8
7.8 (6 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Meta-Fun
It is a tricky thing on film, to parody your film image without making it an homage (or a complete trashing) of yourself. And, in THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT, Nicholas Cage (playing Nick Cage) has found the line perfectly.

Conceived, written and Directed by Tom Cormican (THAT AWKWARD MOMENT), UWOMT (as I will call it here on out) is a meta-film that has Nicholas Cage playing a highly stylized and fictionalized version of himself. In this film, Nick Cage is desperate for work and going broke, when a rich fan offers him $1 million to appear at a birthday party. What happens next is bizarre, gonzo and out-of-control - and a lot of fun.

Let’s start with the man himself, Nicholas Cage, once he was convinced to do this film (and it took some convincing, for he turned this film down at least 3 times), he dives in with both feet and with full gusto filling Nick Cage with the wild actions and antics that are the basis of many, many Nicholas Cage memes. It is a knowing characterization by Cage, but one that knows when to pull back (not a trait often associated with him) and he does it all without winking at the camera.

Credit for this must go to Writer/Director Cormican (and his co-writer Kevin Etten),who had a clear vision of what they wanted to accomplish here, what tone they wanted to set, and how “meta” they wanted this film to be. And they accomplish this goal well, making an interesting and intriguing comedy/action flick that will satisfy many…but, especially, fans of Nicholas Cage.

Along for the fun ride are Neil Patrick Harris, Tiffany Hadish, Ike Barinholtz and Sharon Horgan who all deliver the right vibe for this film (as well as a couple of cameos that would be a spoiler to mention). They all look like that they are having a fun time.

But…the glue that holds all of this craziness together is the performance of Pedro Pascual (NARCOS, THE MANDILORIAN) who plays the millionaire Superfan who hires Cage and, eventually, befriends him. This is a masterful, comedic performance and it is Pascual’s sincerity (without going into buffoonery or overplaying) that grounds this film just enough that you actually care about the relationship between Pascual’s character, Javy, and Cage.

A ton of fun, not only for the performances and wild events, but for the many, many references to fun Cage films/roles of the past - items that will now motivate many (including myself) to check out.

Letter Grade: A

8 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
The Old Guard (2020)
The Old Guard (2020)
2020 | Action, Fantasy
Kick Ass Action (2 more)
Good Casting and Supporting Actors/Characters
Cool Concept
The Musical Score/ Soundtrack (3 more)
Some characters were a little cliché
Characters not fully developed or given enough backstory
Dialogue
In With The Old Guard (7/10)
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Old Guard is 2020 action movie directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood and written by Greg Rucka, The film was produced by Skydance Media, Denver and Delilah Productions and Marc Evans Productions and distributed by Netflix. Producers on the movie include David Ellison, Dana Goldberg, Don Granger, Charlize Theron, AJ Dix, Beth Kono and Marc Evans. The film stars Charlize Theron, Kiki Layne, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli and Matthias Schoenaerts.


Andy (Charlize Theron), and her covert group of tight-knit immortals have fought and protected the mortal world for centuries with their mysterious inability to die. With their extraordinary abilities suddenly exposed on an emergency mission, the group finds themselves hunted by those who will stop at nothing to replicate their power. Nile (Kiki Layne), the newest soldier, joins their ranks, to help the group eliminate the threat and avoid capture as they find out who's found them.


This move was pretty bad ass. I liked it quite a bit. Charlize Theron definitely kicks ass as Andy in this flick and has a bunch of really cool action sequences throughout the film. The supporting cast was really good as well. I hadn't heard of the graphic novel or comic that it was based off of by the film's writer Greg Rucka but now I really want to check it out because the backstory they give the characters and their actions seem really cool. Now I know a lot of people give the whole girl power thing bad energy online and a lot of stuff gets hate and trolls for stuff like that but I dig this film. (examples Captain Marvel, The girl power scene in Endgame, etc...) I definitely got that vibe that the director was a woman without even paying attention to it in the opening credits and that's not a bad thing, just an observation. The way certain things happened in the movie, the soundtrack (which was good but felt like it didn't match) and the two main characters/protagonists are female as well. I think Gina Prince-Bythewood did a great job in mixing in the story and the action in this movie. Of course when coming up with a cool concept like this there always going to be plot holes or things that don't make sense and this movie is no exception, some characters are a little cliché but there acting pretty good and their performances were good but the dialogue definitely suffered from the writing. There was some weird lines in there and some scenes that just kind of faltered. The villain wasn't that memorable and the film had some slow places, not that pacing was off but maybe dragged on a little too long. I think this movie was still great good though and if you're looking for a good action flick to check out you should definitely give it a try, I give it a 7/10.

Spoiler Section Review:

Man, I have seen this movie getting ripped on reviews online and a lot of it is actually on the soundtrack. Now I understand completely, to me the song choices were off for the mood or tone of the film from the beginning but I saw what "they" were going for because all the songs had a similar theme which was connected by women. It was one of the reasons I felt like the movie was directed by a woman before I looked it up. Now I didn't hate the music, I actually liked some of the songs but for some people I can understand how it distracts, how it lessens in a way the impact of the cinematography and graphic violence of the film. Also the plot holes and logic when it comes to cool concept like the one for this movie. Like when they heal, the bullets get pushed out of their body, but what about Andy's earrings? That's literally the only example of plot holes I've found in other reviews, but every review hating on it says that. Other people hated on it's "woke politics" whatever that means and cheap and lacking in most places. I'll admit that they dropped the ball on putting in decent enough backstory for the characters who were supposed to have live for hundreds of years. You would think they would have some good flashback scenes but they only show a couple and some are weird and blurry sometimes. They just really dropped the ball on developing the characters more or giving you a reason to like them or care about them. They're were the two gay guys but for some people that is a little cliché already because everyone movie is trying to be inclusive now so it comes off as unoriginal. I'll admit that Kiki Layne's performance could be better in certain scenes especially in the beginning some of the girl soldiers didn't seem like "real soldiers" whatever that means, lol. but didn't look the part or act the part. And even at the end her character totally just shifts into kill mode when the whole time she couldn't get over the first person she killed and we're supposed to believe that she believes in the cause the fight for now. I mean she has some good scenes too though. There's just a lot of convenience or hand of god ("deus ex machina") throughout the movie. It's hard for me to give this a higher score when some of the points against it are legitimate but I think some of them are just haters. Anyways I give this movie a 7/10 and I for one personally can't wait for the sequel.

  
Halloween II (2009)
Halloween II (2009)
2009 | Horror
Michael Myers has returned, again! But this time it’s personal. Halloween II is the brainchild of Rob Zombie who directed the remake of the 1978 John Carpenter original.

However, in this, the first sequel of the rebooted slasher series, Zombie has been able to splash his creative wisdom all over the celluloid with somewhat successful results. Unfortunately, in some parts, the phrase somewhat successful seems even more appropriate.

By now, we all know that having Sheri Moon in a Rob Zombie film is a given, but her role here is perhaps slightly too implausible for even the most hardened fans to appreciate, playing what seems like a schizophrenic Michael’s dead mother. Unfortunately, the idea, whilst being excellent at the pre-production stages of the movie, is badly executed on screen and what we’re left with, is a mess of a storyline that doesn’t ever know which way it is going; supernatural thriller one-minute and slasher flick the next.

Regrettably, Zombie has made some horrific choices concerning Michael’s character. Of course we have to give him credit for taking on a Halloween sequel without any prior experience. The inexperience shows in Michael, who has been turned into a Jason Voorhees rip off; grunting as he kills and not using the typical kitchen knife as the primary weapon. Here, Zombie also decides to remove Michael’s iconic mask, which should in theory become an iconic cinema moment; unfortunately it does not and is forgotten in a mass of blood and gore.

Negativity aside, the story is pretty much the same as last time around, though Zombie has focused in on Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor Compton) and the way her character changes from the events of Halloween night. As with giving the characters a back-story in the 2007 Halloween, this storyline change really does work and gives the film something which isn’t usually necessary for the horror genre; depth.

The acting is surprisingly superb; Compton is much better this time around and really brings a whole new grungy side to her character and most of the other returning characters are given much more room to grown and develop, probably due to the film’s long running time. On the other hand, Malcolm McDowell’s portrayal of the iconic Sam Loomis has been shoddily remastered into a greedy, fame-obsessed man whose objectives are simply to make as much money as possible. This doesn’t suit the role and leaves the usually excellent McDowell wanting.

Overall, Halloween II is a decent stab at recreating the old franchise; Zombie has made it work on so many levels and it certainly moves the game on. Unfortunately, he has tried to pack too many elements into the film and the pay off for that is a messy looking cinema encounter. Enjoyable as a film, yes, but the jury is still out on whether this deserves a spot on the Halloween collector’s shelf.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2010/10/19/halloween-ii-2009/
  
The Great Wall (2016)
The Great Wall (2016)
2016 | Action, Drama, Mystery
4
5.8 (27 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Disappointingly Pedestrian
Acclaimed director Zhang Yimou has been at the helm of some of China’s greatest film assets. 1991’s Raise the Red Lantern is widely regarded as one of the defining foreign-language films of its period and 2004’s House of Flying Daggers received huge critical acclamation for its stunning cinematography and exceptional script.

Here, Yimou teams up with one of Hollywood’s greatest assets, Matt Damon in a monster flick to rival all others. But does The Great Wall showcase the very best from its director and leading man?

When a mercenary warrior on the run from a group of bandits (Matt Damon) is imprisoned within China’s magnificent Great Wall, he discovers the mystery behind one of the greatest wonders of the world. As surge after surge of snarling, prowling beasts called Taotie besiege the massive construction, his quest for immeasurable fortune turns into a journey toward heroism. He joins a vast army of elite Chinese soldiers to confront the unimaginable and seemingly unstoppable force.

Unfortunately, The Great Wall squanders the talents of both Damon and Yimou with an unnecessarily dense script overriding any sense of drama. To be honest, it’s all just a bit of a bore.

The cast is fine but so vast that Damon and Jin Tian, who we will see again very soon in Kong: Skull Island, are the only stars to make any sort of impact. Even then, a poor script stops them from being anything but cardboard cut-outs. There is no character development whatsoever. In fact, as I write this paragraph I nearly forgot to mention Willem Dafoe. He makes no impact on the final outcome at all.

Elsewhere, the special effects range from laughably poor to adequate and certainly not befitting of a film costing well over $200million. The wall itself is rendered in decent CGI and the numerous battle scenes have a reasonably immersive feel, but the Taotie lacks realism and as the main antagonists throughout, this is a serious problem.

The cinematography too is not up to the standard of Yimou’s previous works. Relying far too heavily on green screen, it wastes his incredible eye for detail and continuously feels like you’re sat watching a very expensive video game. As with last year’s Gods of Egypt, there’s a certain glossy quality to the picture that dominates and this is what stops it being believable.

Nevertheless, the music is very good indeed. Ramin Djawadi has scored big budget blockbusters like Iron Man and Pacific Rim with The Great Wall taking a few influences from the latter. It’s definitely the saving grace here and alleviates a couple of the shortcomings.

Overall, The Great Wall is a film unworthy of the talent both behind and in front of the lens. It’s crammed full of poor CGI and uninspiring cinematography, though its great score is unquestionably a highlight. With such good subject matter, it feels like a bit of a wasted opportunity.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/02/18/the-great-wall-disappointingly-pedestrian/