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Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Underworld: Blood Wars (2017) in Movies
Jul 12, 2019
The latest installment of the Underworld franchise will not make you happy, but it may entertain you.
Let my preamble consist of this important note: I am a huge fan of the property. With that in mind, we’ll continue.
Kate Beckinsale is back in her black, skin-tight vinyl to deal death and continue the war that’s raged for 1500 years. While a few characters from previous movies show up in this film, most roles are taken by fresh faces. Scenes from the old movies as inserted under the guise of memories narrated by Selene, as well as the jumpy blood memories.
With so many films preceding this one, the creators were kind enough to run us through the major events that set up the current plot. However, as happens with most sequels, I cursed myself for not remembering to watch the previous film beforehand. I recommend doing so; it had been so long I’d forgotten connections and details.
The story of the war continues. The current crisis is coming to a head with a powerful Lycan named Marius in command of the pack. They are intent upon winning the war, once and for all, with a concentrated assault.
Both sides seek avenues to make their species more powerful, and in this case, it’s Selene’s daughter.
The action sequences are shot in the same choppy style as in previous films, but are somehow not captured as beautifully as before.
The plot proceeds at a breakneck pace, often too fast for its own good. Whether it’s due to poor writing, poor direction, or some combination of both, the short scenes feel forced. They exist purely as plot points and do little to attach the audience to the characters. Though the film was marketed as “the final showdown,” it lacks the same epic feeling of the previous one. It’s clear they are trying to milk this franchise for all it’s worth. The payout we all desperately want — a conclusive ending — just won’t come.
The crowning failure comes at a pivotal point when two characters are screaming at each other while pushing bullets out of their skin. It made me feel like I was watching a campy, low-budget action flick. It was so bad that my movie buddy and I started laughing out loud.
We are both huge fans of the property, but were greatly disappointed by poor movie-making and the lack of closure to the story. They probably won’t be given another chance to finish it.
Despite all of this, the acting is actually pretty good. And let’s be honest here: if you are a fan of this franchise, you’re going to go watch it no matter what I say. That’s fine, but don’t go in with high expectations. You can extract some entertainment, but this is just not a good film.
Let my preamble consist of this important note: I am a huge fan of the property. With that in mind, we’ll continue.
Kate Beckinsale is back in her black, skin-tight vinyl to deal death and continue the war that’s raged for 1500 years. While a few characters from previous movies show up in this film, most roles are taken by fresh faces. Scenes from the old movies as inserted under the guise of memories narrated by Selene, as well as the jumpy blood memories.
With so many films preceding this one, the creators were kind enough to run us through the major events that set up the current plot. However, as happens with most sequels, I cursed myself for not remembering to watch the previous film beforehand. I recommend doing so; it had been so long I’d forgotten connections and details.
The story of the war continues. The current crisis is coming to a head with a powerful Lycan named Marius in command of the pack. They are intent upon winning the war, once and for all, with a concentrated assault.
Both sides seek avenues to make their species more powerful, and in this case, it’s Selene’s daughter.
The action sequences are shot in the same choppy style as in previous films, but are somehow not captured as beautifully as before.
The plot proceeds at a breakneck pace, often too fast for its own good. Whether it’s due to poor writing, poor direction, or some combination of both, the short scenes feel forced. They exist purely as plot points and do little to attach the audience to the characters. Though the film was marketed as “the final showdown,” it lacks the same epic feeling of the previous one. It’s clear they are trying to milk this franchise for all it’s worth. The payout we all desperately want — a conclusive ending — just won’t come.
The crowning failure comes at a pivotal point when two characters are screaming at each other while pushing bullets out of their skin. It made me feel like I was watching a campy, low-budget action flick. It was so bad that my movie buddy and I started laughing out loud.
We are both huge fans of the property, but were greatly disappointed by poor movie-making and the lack of closure to the story. They probably won’t be given another chance to finish it.
Despite all of this, the acting is actually pretty good. And let’s be honest here: if you are a fan of this franchise, you’re going to go watch it no matter what I say. That’s fine, but don’t go in with high expectations. You can extract some entertainment, but this is just not a good film.
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BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated Cocaine Bear (2023) in Movies
Mar 21, 2023
A Ton of Fun
When one decides to watch a film entitled COCAINE BEAR, one pretty much knows what one is getting themselves into.
And, fortunately, Director Elizabeth Banks knew exactly what type of film she was making and her (and her game cast) were up to the challenge…and the fun.
Based on a true event, where a cocaine smuggler fell to his death when his parachute failed to open, COCAINE BEAR posits the “what if” position of what would happen if a Bear ingested it and became aggressive and addicted to cocaine? This fun film takes us through that scenario.
Banks (Director of the PITCH PERFECT films) is the perfect person to helm this film, for she has her tongue planted firmly in her cheek and wisely walked the line between making it violent enough for idiots like me to enjoy and not TOO violent so that the target audience – I would assume that would be teenage boys – can attend as well. She paces the film briskly enough for the audience to not ask too many questions, and the film is short enough to be enjoyable, without beating the premise into the ground.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (MODERN FAMILY), Kristofer Jivju (Tormand in GAME OF THRONES), Isiah Whitlock, Jr (BLACK KKKLANSMAN). and O’Shea Jackson, Jr (STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON) are all in on the fun and they look like they are having a GREAT time playing in this sandbox. As do Keri Russell, Matthew Rhys and the always-great Margo Martindale (forming a mini THE AMERICANS reunion). Martindale almost steals the film from the COCAINE BEAR…almost.
Special notice needs to be made of the work of Aiden Ehrenriech (erstwhile Hans Sole in SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY). He is one of those performers who looks like he is trying too hard to please, but not in this film. He looks comfortable and relaxed and this just might be the best performance of his career. The same can NOT be said for the late Ray Liotta (in his last film role). While not his best performance (that would be GOODFELLAS), it is a “classic Liotta” in that he plays the drug dealer who is looking for his lost cocaine with zest, energy and unapologetically. It’s a shame that we lost this wonderful film presence.
But…all of these performers play second fiddle to the titular character – the CGI creation that is COCAINE BEAR. Bravo to the company that did the effect in this film, they make the out-of-control bear believable while the character is doing unbelievable things.
A fun “B” flick in every sense of the word – COCAINE BEAR is a ton of fun (I laughed out loud LOUDLY a couple of times). Just know before you view it, what kind of film you are watching.
Letter Grade: B (of course)
7 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
And, fortunately, Director Elizabeth Banks knew exactly what type of film she was making and her (and her game cast) were up to the challenge…and the fun.
Based on a true event, where a cocaine smuggler fell to his death when his parachute failed to open, COCAINE BEAR posits the “what if” position of what would happen if a Bear ingested it and became aggressive and addicted to cocaine? This fun film takes us through that scenario.
Banks (Director of the PITCH PERFECT films) is the perfect person to helm this film, for she has her tongue planted firmly in her cheek and wisely walked the line between making it violent enough for idiots like me to enjoy and not TOO violent so that the target audience – I would assume that would be teenage boys – can attend as well. She paces the film briskly enough for the audience to not ask too many questions, and the film is short enough to be enjoyable, without beating the premise into the ground.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (MODERN FAMILY), Kristofer Jivju (Tormand in GAME OF THRONES), Isiah Whitlock, Jr (BLACK KKKLANSMAN). and O’Shea Jackson, Jr (STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON) are all in on the fun and they look like they are having a GREAT time playing in this sandbox. As do Keri Russell, Matthew Rhys and the always-great Margo Martindale (forming a mini THE AMERICANS reunion). Martindale almost steals the film from the COCAINE BEAR…almost.
Special notice needs to be made of the work of Aiden Ehrenriech (erstwhile Hans Sole in SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY). He is one of those performers who looks like he is trying too hard to please, but not in this film. He looks comfortable and relaxed and this just might be the best performance of his career. The same can NOT be said for the late Ray Liotta (in his last film role). While not his best performance (that would be GOODFELLAS), it is a “classic Liotta” in that he plays the drug dealer who is looking for his lost cocaine with zest, energy and unapologetically. It’s a shame that we lost this wonderful film presence.
But…all of these performers play second fiddle to the titular character – the CGI creation that is COCAINE BEAR. Bravo to the company that did the effect in this film, they make the out-of-control bear believable while the character is doing unbelievable things.
A fun “B” flick in every sense of the word – COCAINE BEAR is a ton of fun (I laughed out loud LOUDLY a couple of times). Just know before you view it, what kind of film you are watching.
Letter Grade: B (of course)
7 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated Spiderhead (2022) in Movies
Jun 26, 2022
Weak Script Sinks This Flick
The history of cinema is littered with tales of the Mad Scientist who gets too caught up in their own experiments to the detriment of all. Once the human cost of the experiment is revealed to this seemingly sane inventor, he (it usually is a he) turns with a wild-eyed look and justifies the human expense in the name of science.
Such is the case with the Netflix Original movie SPIDERHEAD with Chris Hemsworth as the mad scientist in this scenario and Miles Teller and Jurnee Smollett as 2 of the prisoners who trade in their life sentences to be used as guinea pigs in his experiment.
It’s an interesting enough premise - one that is not new - so it is always the execution of this concept that makes (or breaks) this type of film.
Unfortunately for SPIDERHEAD, Writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick are unable to elevate the premise (based on a short story by George Saunders) into anything new, unique or interesting.
Director Joseph Kosinski (TOP GUN: MAVERICK) does a yeoman’s job trying to elevate this material to something better than it is. But…kind of like trying to get me to be a Prima Ballerina…Kosinski just cannot make something out of raw material that is fundamentally flawed. He uses a few interesting camera moves and draws out suspense in enough areas to catch the audience’s interests…but not much else.
He is helped by the casting of some top notch talent. Chris Hemsworth is engaging and charismatic (initially) as the Elon Musk/Steve Jobs-esque new age inventor who is trying out some new medical serums on prisoner/volunteers. The problem with Hemsworth - who I think is a pretty good actor - is that once you start seeing the cracks in his character’s façade (and those cracks appear early on), Hemsworth’s performance turns fairly one-dimensional and he becomes a caricature of the “crazed scientist”.
The surprises to me here are the performances of Miles Teller (TOP GUN: MAVERICK) and Jurnee Smollett (LOVECRAFT COUNTRY). These are 2 performers who I’ve always felt were good but not great, but they are intriguing to watch in this. They have strong chemistry with each other and they are 2 protagonists that are easy to root for against crazed antagonist Hemsworth.
In look and feel and tone, this film reminded my of the 2014 Alex Garland marvel EX MACHINA, but where that film easily was lifted by a tremendously strong script and ideas by Garland (check it out if you haven’t seen it - it is well worth your time), SPIDERHEAD, ultimately, sinks into the chasm of a weak script with no real strong ideas/themes behind it.
Letter Grade B+ (for the Direction of Kosinksi and the performances of Teller and Smollett)
6 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
Such is the case with the Netflix Original movie SPIDERHEAD with Chris Hemsworth as the mad scientist in this scenario and Miles Teller and Jurnee Smollett as 2 of the prisoners who trade in their life sentences to be used as guinea pigs in his experiment.
It’s an interesting enough premise - one that is not new - so it is always the execution of this concept that makes (or breaks) this type of film.
Unfortunately for SPIDERHEAD, Writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick are unable to elevate the premise (based on a short story by George Saunders) into anything new, unique or interesting.
Director Joseph Kosinski (TOP GUN: MAVERICK) does a yeoman’s job trying to elevate this material to something better than it is. But…kind of like trying to get me to be a Prima Ballerina…Kosinski just cannot make something out of raw material that is fundamentally flawed. He uses a few interesting camera moves and draws out suspense in enough areas to catch the audience’s interests…but not much else.
He is helped by the casting of some top notch talent. Chris Hemsworth is engaging and charismatic (initially) as the Elon Musk/Steve Jobs-esque new age inventor who is trying out some new medical serums on prisoner/volunteers. The problem with Hemsworth - who I think is a pretty good actor - is that once you start seeing the cracks in his character’s façade (and those cracks appear early on), Hemsworth’s performance turns fairly one-dimensional and he becomes a caricature of the “crazed scientist”.
The surprises to me here are the performances of Miles Teller (TOP GUN: MAVERICK) and Jurnee Smollett (LOVECRAFT COUNTRY). These are 2 performers who I’ve always felt were good but not great, but they are intriguing to watch in this. They have strong chemistry with each other and they are 2 protagonists that are easy to root for against crazed antagonist Hemsworth.
In look and feel and tone, this film reminded my of the 2014 Alex Garland marvel EX MACHINA, but where that film easily was lifted by a tremendously strong script and ideas by Garland (check it out if you haven’t seen it - it is well worth your time), SPIDERHEAD, ultimately, sinks into the chasm of a weak script with no real strong ideas/themes behind it.
Letter Grade B+ (for the Direction of Kosinksi and the performances of Teller and Smollett)
6 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated The Black Phone (2022) in Movies
Jul 19, 2022
Tense and Suspenseful
Part STRANGER THINGS and Part IT, the new Blumhouse film, THE BLACK PHONE, is a surprisingly effective horror/thriller that is reminiscent of the better Stephen King stories - and that just might be because the short story for which this film is based on is written by Joe Hill - Stephen King’s son.
Wisely set in a time before cell phones (like both Stranger Things and It), THE BLACK PHONE tells the tale of a small town in Colorado that suddenly falls victim to “THE GRABBER” - an individual who grabs young teenage boys and kills them.
Smartly Directed by Scott Derrickson (the first DOCTOR STRANGE film), THE BLACK PHONE is effective for it focuses on the isolation of being in captivity, the anxiety of not knowing when someone is going to come through the door of the cell and the relationships of the young teens caught in “The Grabber’s” web. Credit for this, of course, goes to Derrickson who dropped out of Directing DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS (over “creative differences”) and chose this passion project as his salve - and the passion shows. It must also be pointed out that Derrickson, wisely, opts to up the tension of this film, rather than the gore, so this movie becomes a suspense flick and not torture-porn.
Derrickson also draws very good performances from the young actors playing the main roles of this film - Mason Thames (Finney), Madeleine McGraw (Gwen), Tristan Pravong (Bruce), Jacob Moran (Billy) and Miguel Cazarez Mora (Robin). All are believable in their well written roles bringing more than just one-dimension to their characters.
These kids are more than ably joined by adult actors like James Ransone (IT: CHAPTER TWO), Jeremy Davies (TV’s LOST) and E. Roger Mitchell (OUTER BANKS). All of these folks bring gravitas and reality to a story that does drift into the un-reality at times.
And then there is the performance of the always good Ethan Hawke as the villain of this piece - THE GRABBER. It is a masterful performance by Hawke who brings humanity to this monster. Almost every actor that plays a villain say that they try to see the film from the villain’s point of view and Hawke brings that to this character in spades and (almost) makes one want to root for him. It is one of the better villains realized on film in the last few years.
One quibble with The Black Phone, is that it does have a tendency to sag a bit (especially in the middle). It is in the middle of the film that one can tell that this movie was based on a SHORT story and so, by necessity, there is some padding.
But that is picking a nit in what is a smart and tense film, one that will have you on the edge of your seat until the end.
Letter Grade: A-
8 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
Wisely set in a time before cell phones (like both Stranger Things and It), THE BLACK PHONE tells the tale of a small town in Colorado that suddenly falls victim to “THE GRABBER” - an individual who grabs young teenage boys and kills them.
Smartly Directed by Scott Derrickson (the first DOCTOR STRANGE film), THE BLACK PHONE is effective for it focuses on the isolation of being in captivity, the anxiety of not knowing when someone is going to come through the door of the cell and the relationships of the young teens caught in “The Grabber’s” web. Credit for this, of course, goes to Derrickson who dropped out of Directing DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS (over “creative differences”) and chose this passion project as his salve - and the passion shows. It must also be pointed out that Derrickson, wisely, opts to up the tension of this film, rather than the gore, so this movie becomes a suspense flick and not torture-porn.
Derrickson also draws very good performances from the young actors playing the main roles of this film - Mason Thames (Finney), Madeleine McGraw (Gwen), Tristan Pravong (Bruce), Jacob Moran (Billy) and Miguel Cazarez Mora (Robin). All are believable in their well written roles bringing more than just one-dimension to their characters.
These kids are more than ably joined by adult actors like James Ransone (IT: CHAPTER TWO), Jeremy Davies (TV’s LOST) and E. Roger Mitchell (OUTER BANKS). All of these folks bring gravitas and reality to a story that does drift into the un-reality at times.
And then there is the performance of the always good Ethan Hawke as the villain of this piece - THE GRABBER. It is a masterful performance by Hawke who brings humanity to this monster. Almost every actor that plays a villain say that they try to see the film from the villain’s point of view and Hawke brings that to this character in spades and (almost) makes one want to root for him. It is one of the better villains realized on film in the last few years.
One quibble with The Black Phone, is that it does have a tendency to sag a bit (especially in the middle). It is in the middle of the film that one can tell that this movie was based on a SHORT story and so, by necessity, there is some padding.
But that is picking a nit in what is a smart and tense film, one that will have you on the edge of your seat until the end.
Letter Grade: A-
8 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Day Shift (2022) in Movies
Oct 12, 2022
Vampires vs. The Bronx, Night Teeth, and now Day Shift. Someone over at Netflix really likes investing in vampire horror-comedies of varying quality. Day Shift, for the most part, is a competent and entertaining action flick, thanks in no small part to the cast. Jamie Foxx has shown time and again that he's more than capable of taking on lead duties, whether he's winning Oscars for music biopics, or kicking vampire ass up and down California. His chemistry with Dave Franco lays the foundation for much of the films humour, and introduces a kind of buddy cop dynamic into the mix. The cast is further bolstered with some smaller roles from industry veteran Peter Stormare, and living legend Snoop Dogg (patiently waiting for a Big John spin-off project).
The action scenes are a whole lot of fun. The vampires contort and twist in horrible ways, and are dispatched in equally horrible ways. There's plenty of blood and viscera, limbs flying about the place, decapitations. It's all well choreographed, fast paced, and hugely entertaining.
There's a lot going for Day Shift, but it does faulter at times. After an exciting opening scene, there's quite a lengthy dip in pacing. This leads to a lot of exposition dumps and world building. Crafting lore for a new IP is something that can be tricky to navigate, and Day Shift misses the mark in this instance. It's all well and good providing the audience with background information that would be everyday knowledge for these characters, but it's executed in a way that feels wayward and messy, and almost 100% through dialogue. And example of a film that does this kind of thing well would be Zombieland. Withing minutes, we know plenty of in-universe rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse, and it's done in a fun, breezy, and brisk manner. In contrast, Day Shift puts a pin in any sort of excitement to throw all sorts of exposition at us in a way that feels like it's relying on potential sequels for any kind of pay off. It's just a little deflating, and not even Foxx's charisma can keep it from becoming boring.
To add to the negative side of things, the villain of the piece is aggressively forgettable. There's a semi-clever reference to how estate realtors are evil, but other than that, she's just an uninspired bad guy that causes the protagonists mild peril. The narrative also suffers from the age old issue of characters doing stupid things to drive the plot forward. Some of the events that unfold don't make a huge amount of sense with what we've been told previously.
Despite these misgivings and a messy middle, Day Shift ends on a high note, with an entertaining final third, and ultimately manages to be a perfectly passable popcorn movie. What it lacks in substance, it's makes up for in style, and will surely leave most with a smile on their faces by the time the credits roll.
The action scenes are a whole lot of fun. The vampires contort and twist in horrible ways, and are dispatched in equally horrible ways. There's plenty of blood and viscera, limbs flying about the place, decapitations. It's all well choreographed, fast paced, and hugely entertaining.
There's a lot going for Day Shift, but it does faulter at times. After an exciting opening scene, there's quite a lengthy dip in pacing. This leads to a lot of exposition dumps and world building. Crafting lore for a new IP is something that can be tricky to navigate, and Day Shift misses the mark in this instance. It's all well and good providing the audience with background information that would be everyday knowledge for these characters, but it's executed in a way that feels wayward and messy, and almost 100% through dialogue. And example of a film that does this kind of thing well would be Zombieland. Withing minutes, we know plenty of in-universe rules for surviving the zombie apocalypse, and it's done in a fun, breezy, and brisk manner. In contrast, Day Shift puts a pin in any sort of excitement to throw all sorts of exposition at us in a way that feels like it's relying on potential sequels for any kind of pay off. It's just a little deflating, and not even Foxx's charisma can keep it from becoming boring.
To add to the negative side of things, the villain of the piece is aggressively forgettable. There's a semi-clever reference to how estate realtors are evil, but other than that, she's just an uninspired bad guy that causes the protagonists mild peril. The narrative also suffers from the age old issue of characters doing stupid things to drive the plot forward. Some of the events that unfold don't make a huge amount of sense with what we've been told previously.
Despite these misgivings and a messy middle, Day Shift ends on a high note, with an entertaining final third, and ultimately manages to be a perfectly passable popcorn movie. What it lacks in substance, it's makes up for in style, and will surely leave most with a smile on their faces by the time the credits roll.
TheDefunctDiva (304 KP) rated Lone Wolf McQuade (1983) in Movies
Oct 6, 2017
L is for Lethal
Contains spoilers, click to show
Lone Wolf McQuade (P. 2/9/08)
As my ex-husband and his co-workers once discussed, this 1983 Chuck Norris classic contains an inexhaustible list of “man movie” elements. I shall enumerate just a few of the highlights here (spoiler warning):
Turbo-charged truck that hasn’t been washed in 20 years…check.
Multiple cut-away scenes containing only foul language…check.
Good guy silhouetted on cliff…check.
Too-tight pants…check.
Too-hairy chest…check.
Good guy lives in filthy, ramshackle bachelor pad…check.
Good guy assigned a partner that he doesn’t want…check.
Feds interfering with good guy’s investigation…check.
Evil, maniacally laughing, midget villain in a wheelchair…check.
Bad guys attempting to kill good guy’s daughter…check.
Same daughter later gets abducted by bad guys…check.
Good guy has disproportionately hot girlfriend…check.
Same girlfriend wears nothing but good-guy’s shirt, post coital…check.
Good guy hanging off hood of moving vehicle…check.
Good guys outnumbered by bad guys in every fight scene…check.
Single, long-range gunshot or arrow from crossbow causing car explosion…check.
Bad guy using a contrived mechanism to kill good guy, instead of simply shooting him in the head…check.
Beer, beer, and more beer, which magically revitalizes the good guy…check.
Strategically placed blood…check.
Flaming barrels…check.
Women totally incapable of defending themselves…check.
Good guy and bad guy putting down their weapons and facing off in physical fight…check.
Hot girlfriend dying in good guy’s arms, while professing her guilt and undying love…check.
More flaming barrels…check.
I could go on and on.
Among many other cheesy elements in this movie, I especially enjoyed the moments of obvious symbolism. The opening shot contains a psychedelic-looking, lone wolf accompanied by nothing but whistling. Later, when the bad guys attempt to kill Lone Wolf McQuade, they first assassinate his pet wolf. Foreshadowing, anyone? Another blatant symbol appears when Captain Tyler lectures McQuade about the public image of a ranger. The Captain holds a ruler in his hand, presumably because McQuade doesn’t “measure up” to his expectations. Ha!
In the most entertaining scene of the movie, Lone Wolf has been buried alive in his truck by the bad guy. Beaten and broken, he opens a can of beer found on the front seat, pours it over his effusively sweaty self, takes a sip, and then finds the strength to go on. With his eyes closed, and his head thrown back, he alternately opens and clenches his jaw while emitting a prolonged man-grunt. He then steps dramatically on the accelerator of his super-charged vehicle and is able to drive out of his own grave.
With the ridiculous costuming, cliché dialogue, subpar acting, and utterly horrible score, this film would have worked far better as a comedy. If you plan to watch it, expect to be incredulous, and try to avoid staring directly at Chuck’s hairy chest.
As my ex-husband and his co-workers once discussed, this 1983 Chuck Norris classic contains an inexhaustible list of “man movie” elements. I shall enumerate just a few of the highlights here (spoiler warning):
Turbo-charged truck that hasn’t been washed in 20 years…check.
Multiple cut-away scenes containing only foul language…check.
Good guy silhouetted on cliff…check.
Too-tight pants…check.
Too-hairy chest…check.
Good guy lives in filthy, ramshackle bachelor pad…check.
Good guy assigned a partner that he doesn’t want…check.
Feds interfering with good guy’s investigation…check.
Evil, maniacally laughing, midget villain in a wheelchair…check.
Bad guys attempting to kill good guy’s daughter…check.
Same daughter later gets abducted by bad guys…check.
Good guy has disproportionately hot girlfriend…check.
Same girlfriend wears nothing but good-guy’s shirt, post coital…check.
Good guy hanging off hood of moving vehicle…check.
Good guys outnumbered by bad guys in every fight scene…check.
Single, long-range gunshot or arrow from crossbow causing car explosion…check.
Bad guy using a contrived mechanism to kill good guy, instead of simply shooting him in the head…check.
Beer, beer, and more beer, which magically revitalizes the good guy…check.
Strategically placed blood…check.
Flaming barrels…check.
Women totally incapable of defending themselves…check.
Good guy and bad guy putting down their weapons and facing off in physical fight…check.
Hot girlfriend dying in good guy’s arms, while professing her guilt and undying love…check.
More flaming barrels…check.
I could go on and on.
Among many other cheesy elements in this movie, I especially enjoyed the moments of obvious symbolism. The opening shot contains a psychedelic-looking, lone wolf accompanied by nothing but whistling. Later, when the bad guys attempt to kill Lone Wolf McQuade, they first assassinate his pet wolf. Foreshadowing, anyone? Another blatant symbol appears when Captain Tyler lectures McQuade about the public image of a ranger. The Captain holds a ruler in his hand, presumably because McQuade doesn’t “measure up” to his expectations. Ha!
In the most entertaining scene of the movie, Lone Wolf has been buried alive in his truck by the bad guy. Beaten and broken, he opens a can of beer found on the front seat, pours it over his effusively sweaty self, takes a sip, and then finds the strength to go on. With his eyes closed, and his head thrown back, he alternately opens and clenches his jaw while emitting a prolonged man-grunt. He then steps dramatically on the accelerator of his super-charged vehicle and is able to drive out of his own grave.
With the ridiculous costuming, cliché dialogue, subpar acting, and utterly horrible score, this film would have worked far better as a comedy. If you plan to watch it, expect to be incredulous, and try to avoid staring directly at Chuck’s hairy chest.
Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated Deadpool (2016) in Movies
Jun 10, 2019 (Updated Jun 10, 2019)
A Valentine's weekend wonder
It’s hard to believe that one of Marvel’s hottest properties – Deadpool, has taken this long to get to the silver screen. Of course, we can always cast our minds back to 2009’s disastrous X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But for goodness sake, let’s not.
Here, after much petitioning from fans and Reynolds himself, Deadpool finally gets his own origins story, directed by Tim Miller in his debut feature film. But was it worth the wait?
Ryan Reynolds returns as a much more faithful representation of Wade Wilson, a small-time mercenary going through the motions until a shock cancer diagnosis makes him rethink his life – and career prospects, at the cost of losing touch with his love interest, Vanessa, played by the incredibly beautiful Morena Baccarin.
Naturally, a villain in the shape of Ed Skrein’s Ajax, provides the film with its main opposition, though a few other one-dimensional characters appear alongside him every so often. Unfortunately, they make little impact throughout the course of Deadpool and even Skrein suffers next to Reynolds potty-mouthed Wilson.
MV5BMjE3MzI3NzAwOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDc2Nzc5NzE@._V1__SX1303_SY615_
Brianna Hildebrand, Ryan Reynolds and Stefan Kapicic. Photo by 20th Century Fox.
And ta da! The red-suited antihero is born, much like any other Marvel origins story in fact. However, this is most definitely not your typical superhero flick. From gratuitous sex, violence, swearing and drug references, not to mention the character’s trademark breaking of the fourth wall, it’s all here – and you know what, it’s a breath of fresh air.
Reynolds is absolutely born to play this character and is the best we have seen him in years. Gone is the romantic comedy slop or stereotypical action hero he has portrayed over the last few years and in their place is a witty, incredibly self-aware persona that is one of Marvel’s greatest assets.
Elsewhere, the direction is so confident, and the design choices so slick, it’s difficult to fully comprehend that this is Tim Miller’s first feature film. From a brilliant set of opening credits that poke fun at the narcissism of Hollywood, to some excellent commentary on the superhero genre itself, it’s very cocky indeed and very very funny.
Naturally, not every gag lands on target, but that’s no surprise given that even the best comedies suffer from this. There’s also a lack of development beyond the titular character that hurts the film’s more romantic side, and with Deadpool’s lengthy running time, this could’ve been avoided somewhat.
Other than that, it’s pretty much spot on. Ryan Reynolds looks like he’s having a blast in front of the camera, and Tim Miller looks like he’s having a great time behind it. What about the old Fox and Marvel rivalry chestnut? Well, there’s not even a whiff of it – apart from a sarcastic remark that is.
Overall, Deadpool was a gamble and with Fox’s less than stellar reputation for fashioning decent films out of Marvel property, a huge one at that. But, against all the odds it has paid off spectacularly.
Keep this to yourselves, but it could quite possibly be the best comic-book adaptation to date.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2016/02/13/a-valentines-weekend-wonder-deadpool-review/
Here, after much petitioning from fans and Reynolds himself, Deadpool finally gets his own origins story, directed by Tim Miller in his debut feature film. But was it worth the wait?
Ryan Reynolds returns as a much more faithful representation of Wade Wilson, a small-time mercenary going through the motions until a shock cancer diagnosis makes him rethink his life – and career prospects, at the cost of losing touch with his love interest, Vanessa, played by the incredibly beautiful Morena Baccarin.
Naturally, a villain in the shape of Ed Skrein’s Ajax, provides the film with its main opposition, though a few other one-dimensional characters appear alongside him every so often. Unfortunately, they make little impact throughout the course of Deadpool and even Skrein suffers next to Reynolds potty-mouthed Wilson.
MV5BMjE3MzI3NzAwOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDc2Nzc5NzE@._V1__SX1303_SY615_
Brianna Hildebrand, Ryan Reynolds and Stefan Kapicic. Photo by 20th Century Fox.
And ta da! The red-suited antihero is born, much like any other Marvel origins story in fact. However, this is most definitely not your typical superhero flick. From gratuitous sex, violence, swearing and drug references, not to mention the character’s trademark breaking of the fourth wall, it’s all here – and you know what, it’s a breath of fresh air.
Reynolds is absolutely born to play this character and is the best we have seen him in years. Gone is the romantic comedy slop or stereotypical action hero he has portrayed over the last few years and in their place is a witty, incredibly self-aware persona that is one of Marvel’s greatest assets.
Elsewhere, the direction is so confident, and the design choices so slick, it’s difficult to fully comprehend that this is Tim Miller’s first feature film. From a brilliant set of opening credits that poke fun at the narcissism of Hollywood, to some excellent commentary on the superhero genre itself, it’s very cocky indeed and very very funny.
Naturally, not every gag lands on target, but that’s no surprise given that even the best comedies suffer from this. There’s also a lack of development beyond the titular character that hurts the film’s more romantic side, and with Deadpool’s lengthy running time, this could’ve been avoided somewhat.
Other than that, it’s pretty much spot on. Ryan Reynolds looks like he’s having a blast in front of the camera, and Tim Miller looks like he’s having a great time behind it. What about the old Fox and Marvel rivalry chestnut? Well, there’s not even a whiff of it – apart from a sarcastic remark that is.
Overall, Deadpool was a gamble and with Fox’s less than stellar reputation for fashioning decent films out of Marvel property, a huge one at that. But, against all the odds it has paid off spectacularly.
Keep this to yourselves, but it could quite possibly be the best comic-book adaptation to date.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2016/02/13/a-valentines-weekend-wonder-deadpool-review/