Search
Search results
Darren (1599 KP) rated The Walker (2007) in Movies
Sep 26, 2019
Characters – Carter Page III has made a career out of mingling around the women of high society, where he walks them in parties to keep them entertained, his actions never put the rumours in the air, until one of the ladies is involved in a murder, Carter sees the once always open doors closing around him, forcing him to uncover the truth to save his own reputation. Lynn Lockner is one of the most frequent clients for Carter, they have a close friendship which is tested when she is involved in the murder of a man, did she discover the body or have something to do with it? Natalie Van Miter is another one of the high society that enjoys Carter’s company only she doesn’t always play fair with the others in the circle. Jack Delorean isn’t the biggest fan of Carter and certain members of the high society, he is always looking for dirt on them.
Performances – Woody Harrelson is the highlight of the film with his engaging performance in an otherwise forgettable story. Kristin Scott Thomas, Lauren Bacall, Ned Beatty bring their big name presence to the film without making the impact to make you care about their characters.
Story – The story takes us into the high society world where the rich believe they can get away with anything, we follow a walker that mingles with the ladies to keep the business with gossip etc, when a murder is committed, he becomes the prime suspect and must figure out how to clear his name before his reputation is ruined. This story is just like you would imagine, it is a series of conversations from people that are always looking down on people who just want to take each other of their high horses through the eyes of a man desperately trying to stay within the circle. This story could have been extended to give more development to the characters through a television series, which would have been a lot more interesting to watch.
Crime/Mystery – The crime side of the film follows the aftermath of the murder which adds to the mystery as to who committed it and why, we do get plenty of suspects, but most people we meet seem to have a shady reason to be in the position they are in.
Settings – The film is set in the Washington high society world, with flashy parties, massive apartments, everything you don’t see people in natural life.
Scene of the Movie – Reporting the murder.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – Not enough time to address the real issues touched on within the story.
Final Thoughts – This is a story that had potential to be much bigger and more interesting only for it to become mostly forgettable with the slow pacing and weak character development.
Overall: Slow and disappointing.
Performances – Woody Harrelson is the highlight of the film with his engaging performance in an otherwise forgettable story. Kristin Scott Thomas, Lauren Bacall, Ned Beatty bring their big name presence to the film without making the impact to make you care about their characters.
Story – The story takes us into the high society world where the rich believe they can get away with anything, we follow a walker that mingles with the ladies to keep the business with gossip etc, when a murder is committed, he becomes the prime suspect and must figure out how to clear his name before his reputation is ruined. This story is just like you would imagine, it is a series of conversations from people that are always looking down on people who just want to take each other of their high horses through the eyes of a man desperately trying to stay within the circle. This story could have been extended to give more development to the characters through a television series, which would have been a lot more interesting to watch.
Crime/Mystery – The crime side of the film follows the aftermath of the murder which adds to the mystery as to who committed it and why, we do get plenty of suspects, but most people we meet seem to have a shady reason to be in the position they are in.
Settings – The film is set in the Washington high society world, with flashy parties, massive apartments, everything you don’t see people in natural life.
Scene of the Movie – Reporting the murder.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – Not enough time to address the real issues touched on within the story.
Final Thoughts – This is a story that had potential to be much bigger and more interesting only for it to become mostly forgettable with the slow pacing and weak character development.
Overall: Slow and disappointing.
Madame Tussaud: A Novel of the French Revolution
Book
The world knows Madame Tussaud as a wax artist extraordinaire . . . but who was this woman who...
MaryAnn (14 KP) rated Revealed (Intrigue under Western Skies) (Volume 3) in Books
Mar 5, 2019
Nothing can be hidden that won’t be revealed.
When her father dies, Katherine Levinson discovers her parents have kept secrets that render her happy childhood a farce. She and her gravely ill mother face eviction, and she has no choice but to appeal to the brother she’s never seen, the famous cattle baron, Rhyan Cason. Over her gravely ill mother’s objections, they move to Nebraska and the sprawling cattle ranch, Sollano.
Instead of the warm welcome, Katherine expects, she and her mother are met with whispers and scorn in the little prairie town near Sollano. Gradually, the sins of her parents’ past surface
and Katherine begins to doubt her very identity. With her brother busy with cattle rustlers and her mother too ill to be bothered, Katherine turns to Colt Holliman, a soft-spoken neighboring rancher, for comfort.
Tired of waiting for the right woman to come along, Colt has promised to wait for Charley Ryder, an acclaimed female sharpshooter and equestrian acrobat with the Wild West Show, but it’s becoming clear Charley loves the show more than him. As his attraction to Katherine grows, he finds himself spiritually conflicted. How can he break from past commitments and follow his heart?
Then unexpected danger strikes, testing Katherine’s and Colt’s faith in God—and each other.
My Thoughts: This was a delightful novel to read, the storyline is based in Nebraska. Nebraska is known for their corn, beef , horses ,rodeos and sugar beets! I lived in Nebraska and this brought back some great memories for me. The author has done a phenomenal job of bringing the reader into the ranching life. I love that she brings in the Wild West shows as well, there is so much history from the west that people don't have any idea that living in the west is truly like and the author has given the reader a great glimpse of the history.
Katherine is such a loveable character, the reader feels her plight, her father has passed away, her mother is ill, there are bills to pay. What is she to do?
Katherine sends a letter to a brother she hasn't met which changes her life forever.
Katherine has many things to deal with, the lies that her parents told her, gossip, and of course love. How must it feel to fall in love with someone promised to another? will she repeat her mother's past?
It's not hard to fall in love with Colt. He is every woman's dream, including Katherine's but Colt is promised to Charley; who it seems cares more about herself than anyone else.
This is a novel full of love, mystery, and suspense. It also shows us what happens when the love of money and pride come into our lives. It also teaches us that we must lean on God for everything and to turn to him when times get troubled.
I enjoyed the author's writing and will certainly be looking forward to reading more from Elaine Manders.
When her father dies, Katherine Levinson discovers her parents have kept secrets that render her happy childhood a farce. She and her gravely ill mother face eviction, and she has no choice but to appeal to the brother she’s never seen, the famous cattle baron, Rhyan Cason. Over her gravely ill mother’s objections, they move to Nebraska and the sprawling cattle ranch, Sollano.
Instead of the warm welcome, Katherine expects, she and her mother are met with whispers and scorn in the little prairie town near Sollano. Gradually, the sins of her parents’ past surface
and Katherine begins to doubt her very identity. With her brother busy with cattle rustlers and her mother too ill to be bothered, Katherine turns to Colt Holliman, a soft-spoken neighboring rancher, for comfort.
Tired of waiting for the right woman to come along, Colt has promised to wait for Charley Ryder, an acclaimed female sharpshooter and equestrian acrobat with the Wild West Show, but it’s becoming clear Charley loves the show more than him. As his attraction to Katherine grows, he finds himself spiritually conflicted. How can he break from past commitments and follow his heart?
Then unexpected danger strikes, testing Katherine’s and Colt’s faith in God—and each other.
My Thoughts: This was a delightful novel to read, the storyline is based in Nebraska. Nebraska is known for their corn, beef , horses ,rodeos and sugar beets! I lived in Nebraska and this brought back some great memories for me. The author has done a phenomenal job of bringing the reader into the ranching life. I love that she brings in the Wild West shows as well, there is so much history from the west that people don't have any idea that living in the west is truly like and the author has given the reader a great glimpse of the history.
Katherine is such a loveable character, the reader feels her plight, her father has passed away, her mother is ill, there are bills to pay. What is she to do?
Katherine sends a letter to a brother she hasn't met which changes her life forever.
Katherine has many things to deal with, the lies that her parents told her, gossip, and of course love. How must it feel to fall in love with someone promised to another? will she repeat her mother's past?
It's not hard to fall in love with Colt. He is every woman's dream, including Katherine's but Colt is promised to Charley; who it seems cares more about herself than anyone else.
This is a novel full of love, mystery, and suspense. It also shows us what happens when the love of money and pride come into our lives. It also teaches us that we must lean on God for everything and to turn to him when times get troubled.
I enjoyed the author's writing and will certainly be looking forward to reading more from Elaine Manders.
Kayleigh (12 KP) rated Newes from the Dead in Books
Jan 2, 2019
I stumbled across the blurb of this book while looking at the Totally Random Books website. It's really intriguing and, as I read around, I could see that the book is based on a true story. That was it, I had to buy it! It didn't disappoint, and I read it in a day.
While this is a YA book, it's worth pointing out that it deals with some really adult themes, which is something to consider if you're thinking of letting a teenager read it. I'll outline the main points in the next paragraph, so if you don't want any spoilers at all, skip this bit. The chapters flick between the events that led up to Anne's hanging, and what happens while she's laid on the dissecting table, apparently dead. Her downfall comes when the master's grandson promises her the world in exchange for him getting his end away, shall we say. As tends to happen, she becomes pregnant, which she manages to keep a secret until she miscarries. She has the 'audacity' to tell people who the father was, so never receives a fair trial, and is sentenced to death by hanging for the murder of her child. Her sentence is carried out, but she regains consciousness while on the dissecting table. However, she's unable to move a muscle, even to scream.
Anne is a nice girl with a promising, if humble, future, and I liked her. Even while I was willing her not to trust the father of her child, I could understand why she did what she did, and I felt really sorry for her as she lost a lot. The events of both storylines were fascinating, and in the dissection chapters I was constantly willing the doctors to notice what was going on. Although I knew they wouldn't cut into her and it was a little drawn out, some parts got quite tense, which I liked.
Being a sucker for history, I really liked the way everything was portrayed. [a:Mary Hooper|139257|Mary Hooper|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/authors/1310022486p2/139257.jpg], the author, made me realise how important it was in how you were perceived in those times - if you think gossip can be bad now, it was a million times worse in 1650, when holding someone's hand, even for an innocent reason, can potentially start a deadly rumour. I thought the book brought across everything that would have happened at the time really accurately and realistically. I know the author had true events to go on, but Anne's life before her hanging was all imagined. There's a note from Hooper at the end that specifies what records say about what happened to Anne Green after her hanging, which is also really interesting. I'll definitely be checking out more of Hooper's books!
If you liked this review please check out my <a href="http://www.a-worldofwords.com">blog!</a>;
While this is a YA book, it's worth pointing out that it deals with some really adult themes, which is something to consider if you're thinking of letting a teenager read it. I'll outline the main points in the next paragraph, so if you don't want any spoilers at all, skip this bit. The chapters flick between the events that led up to Anne's hanging, and what happens while she's laid on the dissecting table, apparently dead. Her downfall comes when the master's grandson promises her the world in exchange for him getting his end away, shall we say. As tends to happen, she becomes pregnant, which she manages to keep a secret until she miscarries. She has the 'audacity' to tell people who the father was, so never receives a fair trial, and is sentenced to death by hanging for the murder of her child. Her sentence is carried out, but she regains consciousness while on the dissecting table. However, she's unable to move a muscle, even to scream.
Anne is a nice girl with a promising, if humble, future, and I liked her. Even while I was willing her not to trust the father of her child, I could understand why she did what she did, and I felt really sorry for her as she lost a lot. The events of both storylines were fascinating, and in the dissection chapters I was constantly willing the doctors to notice what was going on. Although I knew they wouldn't cut into her and it was a little drawn out, some parts got quite tense, which I liked.
Being a sucker for history, I really liked the way everything was portrayed. [a:Mary Hooper|139257|Mary Hooper|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/authors/1310022486p2/139257.jpg], the author, made me realise how important it was in how you were perceived in those times - if you think gossip can be bad now, it was a million times worse in 1650, when holding someone's hand, even for an innocent reason, can potentially start a deadly rumour. I thought the book brought across everything that would have happened at the time really accurately and realistically. I know the author had true events to go on, but Anne's life before her hanging was all imagined. There's a note from Hooper at the end that specifies what records say about what happened to Anne Green after her hanging, which is also really interesting. I'll definitely be checking out more of Hooper's books!
If you liked this review please check out my <a href="http://www.a-worldofwords.com">blog!</a>;
BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated A Simple Favor (2018) in Movies
Apr 8, 2020
Well Worth Watching
I'll start this review by stating for the record - I LIKE BLAKE LIVELY. I think the former Gossip Girl star is extremely watchable and interesting - and in the right role, can take over a film.
And...in A SIMPLE FAVOR...she is in the right role.
Also starring Anne Kendrick (INTO THE WOODS), A SIMPLE FAVOR tells the tale of a suburban mother (Kendrick) who forms a friendship with a lively (no pun intended) working mom (Lively) - from "The City" no less - who asks her friend for "A Simple Favor" - watch her child while she tends to some urgent business. When the working Mom goes missing, the suburban Mom starts snooping into what happened.
Directed by Paul Feig (BRIDESMAIDS), A SIMPLE FAVOR finds itself in a bit of a "no man's land" of style and genre. Is it a made for TV Movie like BIG LITTLE LIES (no...it's ambition and production style is more ambitious than that). Is it a "Major Motion Picture" a la GONE GIRL (no...it's not that ambitious). Is it a satire on the suburban Mom (partially), a whodunnit (partially), a mystery (partially) a black comedy (partially).
And that's what is in this film's favor - and it's biggest issue. It's hard to define and pin down and the feel of the film floats all over the place, as do the performances of the leading ladies.
Anna Kendrick is perfectly well suited to play the frumpy suburban Mom, Stephanie, who's underlying unhappiness is masked by the perma-grin and energy of that Mom who volunteers for EVERYTHING at school. She is more than balanced by Lively's scene-stealing performance as Emily the working Mom from NYC that doesn't take crap - or orders - from anybody. Their scenes together are uneven and unbalanced - and that is perfect for what Stephanie is going through. She encounters a force of nature in Emily and is just trying to hang on for dear life.
And there, again, is where the issues of this film (and it's strengths) show up. Sometimes - it seems - that Stephanie is getting a foothold, only to slip and fall. But then she gets her foothold stronger and a whole new character emerges, only to have it slip again...and then she is SNARKY...and slips back to mousey...and then she is CLEVER...and slips back to mousey...and the she...
You get the idea. It keeps the audience guessing and off-guard, but the change in tone hurts the overall flow of the film.
It, ultimately, becomes a fairly clever whoddunit that had me guessing (for the most part) until the end, so I have to admit - I ended up enjoying it - mostly because of Lively's energy.
Letter Grade: B+ (well worth your time to check out)
7 (out of 10) stars and you can take that to the Bank (OfMarquis)
And...in A SIMPLE FAVOR...she is in the right role.
Also starring Anne Kendrick (INTO THE WOODS), A SIMPLE FAVOR tells the tale of a suburban mother (Kendrick) who forms a friendship with a lively (no pun intended) working mom (Lively) - from "The City" no less - who asks her friend for "A Simple Favor" - watch her child while she tends to some urgent business. When the working Mom goes missing, the suburban Mom starts snooping into what happened.
Directed by Paul Feig (BRIDESMAIDS), A SIMPLE FAVOR finds itself in a bit of a "no man's land" of style and genre. Is it a made for TV Movie like BIG LITTLE LIES (no...it's ambition and production style is more ambitious than that). Is it a "Major Motion Picture" a la GONE GIRL (no...it's not that ambitious). Is it a satire on the suburban Mom (partially), a whodunnit (partially), a mystery (partially) a black comedy (partially).
And that's what is in this film's favor - and it's biggest issue. It's hard to define and pin down and the feel of the film floats all over the place, as do the performances of the leading ladies.
Anna Kendrick is perfectly well suited to play the frumpy suburban Mom, Stephanie, who's underlying unhappiness is masked by the perma-grin and energy of that Mom who volunteers for EVERYTHING at school. She is more than balanced by Lively's scene-stealing performance as Emily the working Mom from NYC that doesn't take crap - or orders - from anybody. Their scenes together are uneven and unbalanced - and that is perfect for what Stephanie is going through. She encounters a force of nature in Emily and is just trying to hang on for dear life.
And there, again, is where the issues of this film (and it's strengths) show up. Sometimes - it seems - that Stephanie is getting a foothold, only to slip and fall. But then she gets her foothold stronger and a whole new character emerges, only to have it slip again...and then she is SNARKY...and slips back to mousey...and then she is CLEVER...and slips back to mousey...and the she...
You get the idea. It keeps the audience guessing and off-guard, but the change in tone hurts the overall flow of the film.
It, ultimately, becomes a fairly clever whoddunit that had me guessing (for the most part) until the end, so I have to admit - I ended up enjoying it - mostly because of Lively's energy.
Letter Grade: B+ (well worth your time to check out)
7 (out of 10) stars and you can take that to the Bank (OfMarquis)
BFF Shopping Spree
Games and Entertainment
App
~~> Shop ‘til you drop at the mall with your BFF! Take lots of cool selfies together of your new...
Tapatalk Pro
Social Networking and News
App
Tapatalk Pro is strip down version of Tapatalk - only for the forum fanatics - those who like old...
Amy (7 KP) rated Goddess of Troy in Books
Jan 17, 2018 (Updated Jan 17, 2018)
Terrible. Total destruction.
Contains spoilers, click to show
The premise is one that P.C. Cast recycles throughout her work which is of taking modern women and dropping them into the worlds of myth and magic.
A brilliant idea, occasionally well done in her other novels...not unfortunately for this one.
The problem begins with the plot the goddesses send the women back to end the war...okay, but why not do it themselves? The flimsy excuses just don't hold up. The plot is weakly manipulated and transparently executed to make the neccessity of the modern women going back possible.
Problem 2-is the blatant racism of making the indipendant modern black woman into a white slave girl.
Problem 3- problematic sex scenes which read as thinly disguised rape scenes. A male character is hypnotises and the main female character has sex with him....this is made okay by him giving her consent afterwards. Which is not how consent works. This book being intended for young women just becoming sexual is at best concerning and at most incredibly damaging whilst promoting male rape under the guise of female empowerment.
The dialogue when more old fashioned from the warriors is charming and engaging...from the modern women we are forced to deal with censored cringy curse words, way too much teenage level gossip, and not a smidge of maturity in sight...from grown ass women.
For thirty plus successful women the character profiles should have engaged and fascinated, unfortunately those profiles were ignored during in-story application and replaced with twittering, childish teens who giggle over the word penis and lose their minds over the most vacuous and senseless things.
The plot centres around a boring, romance, and changes the original relationship of Achilles and Patroclus from its canonical implied romance to one of cousins...this at best is a misguided deviation from the canonical Iliad relationship they had.
It could easily be read as a blatant attack and hideous misuse of the original content, that could given the sheer overwhelming heteronormaty we are forced to endure be at its worst an erasure of rare LGBT representation from historical content.
The relationships are forced, and their happy endings so saccharine it hurts to read.
The siege of Troy is horrifically rewritten to make the main female lead the deciding factor that ensured victory and removed nearly all canonical battle events.
Throughout the novel not much happens, and by time something does you just want the novel over with.
It doesn't read as mythology inspired, the myths and characters are used as cheap prop and staging whilst removing the deep themes, and messages that ensured their endurance throughout time.
The vocabulary is below pre-teen level, the grammar is sub-par, and the pacing and plotting absolutely abysmal.
How this book ever made it to print in this state is a large and curious mystery for me.
I cannot urge you to skip this book enough, Margaret George's 'Helen of Troy' is a far more valuable use of your time if you are in want of mythology inspired fantasy...and does so without annihilating the entire original stories.
A brilliant idea, occasionally well done in her other novels...not unfortunately for this one.
The problem begins with the plot the goddesses send the women back to end the war...okay, but why not do it themselves? The flimsy excuses just don't hold up. The plot is weakly manipulated and transparently executed to make the neccessity of the modern women going back possible.
Problem 2-is the blatant racism of making the indipendant modern black woman into a white slave girl.
Problem 3- problematic sex scenes which read as thinly disguised rape scenes. A male character is hypnotises and the main female character has sex with him....this is made okay by him giving her consent afterwards. Which is not how consent works. This book being intended for young women just becoming sexual is at best concerning and at most incredibly damaging whilst promoting male rape under the guise of female empowerment.
The dialogue when more old fashioned from the warriors is charming and engaging...from the modern women we are forced to deal with censored cringy curse words, way too much teenage level gossip, and not a smidge of maturity in sight...from grown ass women.
For thirty plus successful women the character profiles should have engaged and fascinated, unfortunately those profiles were ignored during in-story application and replaced with twittering, childish teens who giggle over the word penis and lose their minds over the most vacuous and senseless things.
The plot centres around a boring, romance, and changes the original relationship of Achilles and Patroclus from its canonical implied romance to one of cousins...this at best is a misguided deviation from the canonical Iliad relationship they had.
It could easily be read as a blatant attack and hideous misuse of the original content, that could given the sheer overwhelming heteronormaty we are forced to endure be at its worst an erasure of rare LGBT representation from historical content.
The relationships are forced, and their happy endings so saccharine it hurts to read.
The siege of Troy is horrifically rewritten to make the main female lead the deciding factor that ensured victory and removed nearly all canonical battle events.
Throughout the novel not much happens, and by time something does you just want the novel over with.
It doesn't read as mythology inspired, the myths and characters are used as cheap prop and staging whilst removing the deep themes, and messages that ensured their endurance throughout time.
The vocabulary is below pre-teen level, the grammar is sub-par, and the pacing and plotting absolutely abysmal.
How this book ever made it to print in this state is a large and curious mystery for me.
I cannot urge you to skip this book enough, Margaret George's 'Helen of Troy' is a far more valuable use of your time if you are in want of mythology inspired fantasy...and does so without annihilating the entire original stories.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Vampires Suck (2010) in Movies
Aug 8, 2019
Vampires suck – but does the movie? We open on the San Salvatore Festival with the angsty Becca watching her beau, Edward Sullen, disrobe and expose his sparkly secrets- he’s a vampire! Cue the “True Blood- 40oz” toting, Mono-fang vampire to take Edward out….wait, we have to get the rest of the story! What follows is a parody of the first two movies of the Twilight Saga. Most of the characters analogous to the spoof’s target are introduced in the first 30 minutes; few of them are actually seen again throughout the movie.
Becca (newcomer Jenn Proske) is forced to move to Sporks, Washington, with her deadbeat father and town sheriff, Frank Crane (Diedrich Bader of The Drew Carey Show). Frank’s best friend is the rough-and-tumble paraplegic Native American, Bobby. His contribution to the plot is his hunky teenage son, Jacob White (Chris Riggi of Gossip Girl). The town of Sporks seems to have vampires on the brain and its population is only growing smaller.
Our heroine is introduced to Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter of Disaster Movie) and what follows is the “classic” story of girl-meets-vampire, girl-loses-vampire, girl-gets-threatened-by-vampire-nemesis, etc. Writers/Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer use their formulaic approach to spoof movies by making the plot a cliff-notes version of the Stephanie Meyer’s original material, with ample jokes thrown in-in an attempt to beef up their rendition.
In fact, there are so many visual jokes in the movie that it left me wondering what a sight-impaired person might conclude of the movie. “What are all these people laughing at?” I noticed a few of the dialogue driven jokes weren’t even played off by the actors. They seemed to have been missed by everyone, including the editors. Other jokes are pop-culture references that will get stale with time. They’re integrated well, but definitely dated. The movie is redolent with the classic American comedy tradition of slapstick, which occasionally comes off as funny.
The production value left something to be desired as several scenes were obviously one-takes. I counted several instances where Becca’s kiss left Edward’s mouth with a smudge of his own flesh-tone showing through. But hey- at least single takes have continuity, right? The contacts, no doubt purchased in bulk, gave the characters an occasional Marty Feldman goggly-look. The effect is hilarious, although I’m not always sure if it’s intentional.
The cast has its standouts. Jenn Proske’s Becca comes dangerously close (like copyright-violating close) to the performance of Kristen Stewart’s Bella as the fidgety, twitchy, sullen and hormone-y heroine. And Ken Jeong (The Hangover) as Daro, while not appearing on screen much, definitely makes his comedic presence felt.
All in all, “Vampires Suck” didn’t really suck… it kind of chews, like gum. Gum out of the package is fresh, flavorful, but the longer you chew it, the tougher and more stale it becomes. This movie is fresh, funny, and quirky right now, but it won’t stand the test of time like more accomplished parodies.
Becca (newcomer Jenn Proske) is forced to move to Sporks, Washington, with her deadbeat father and town sheriff, Frank Crane (Diedrich Bader of The Drew Carey Show). Frank’s best friend is the rough-and-tumble paraplegic Native American, Bobby. His contribution to the plot is his hunky teenage son, Jacob White (Chris Riggi of Gossip Girl). The town of Sporks seems to have vampires on the brain and its population is only growing smaller.
Our heroine is introduced to Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter of Disaster Movie) and what follows is the “classic” story of girl-meets-vampire, girl-loses-vampire, girl-gets-threatened-by-vampire-nemesis, etc. Writers/Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer use their formulaic approach to spoof movies by making the plot a cliff-notes version of the Stephanie Meyer’s original material, with ample jokes thrown in-in an attempt to beef up their rendition.
In fact, there are so many visual jokes in the movie that it left me wondering what a sight-impaired person might conclude of the movie. “What are all these people laughing at?” I noticed a few of the dialogue driven jokes weren’t even played off by the actors. They seemed to have been missed by everyone, including the editors. Other jokes are pop-culture references that will get stale with time. They’re integrated well, but definitely dated. The movie is redolent with the classic American comedy tradition of slapstick, which occasionally comes off as funny.
The production value left something to be desired as several scenes were obviously one-takes. I counted several instances where Becca’s kiss left Edward’s mouth with a smudge of his own flesh-tone showing through. But hey- at least single takes have continuity, right? The contacts, no doubt purchased in bulk, gave the characters an occasional Marty Feldman goggly-look. The effect is hilarious, although I’m not always sure if it’s intentional.
The cast has its standouts. Jenn Proske’s Becca comes dangerously close (like copyright-violating close) to the performance of Kristen Stewart’s Bella as the fidgety, twitchy, sullen and hormone-y heroine. And Ken Jeong (The Hangover) as Daro, while not appearing on screen much, definitely makes his comedic presence felt.
All in all, “Vampires Suck” didn’t really suck… it kind of chews, like gum. Gum out of the package is fresh, flavorful, but the longer you chew it, the tougher and more stale it becomes. This movie is fresh, funny, and quirky right now, but it won’t stand the test of time like more accomplished parodies.