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Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Vampires Suck (2010) in Movies
Aug 8, 2019
Vampires suck – but does the movie? We open on the San Salvatore Festival with the angsty Becca watching her beau, Edward Sullen, disrobe and expose his sparkly secrets- he’s a vampire! Cue the “True Blood- 40oz” toting, Mono-fang vampire to take Edward out….wait, we have to get the rest of the story! What follows is a parody of the first two movies of the Twilight Saga. Most of the characters analogous to the spoof’s target are introduced in the first 30 minutes; few of them are actually seen again throughout the movie.
Becca (newcomer Jenn Proske) is forced to move to Sporks, Washington, with her deadbeat father and town sheriff, Frank Crane (Diedrich Bader of The Drew Carey Show). Frank’s best friend is the rough-and-tumble paraplegic Native American, Bobby. His contribution to the plot is his hunky teenage son, Jacob White (Chris Riggi of Gossip Girl). The town of Sporks seems to have vampires on the brain and its population is only growing smaller.
Our heroine is introduced to Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter of Disaster Movie) and what follows is the “classic” story of girl-meets-vampire, girl-loses-vampire, girl-gets-threatened-by-vampire-nemesis, etc. Writers/Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer use their formulaic approach to spoof movies by making the plot a cliff-notes version of the Stephanie Meyer’s original material, with ample jokes thrown in-in an attempt to beef up their rendition.
In fact, there are so many visual jokes in the movie that it left me wondering what a sight-impaired person might conclude of the movie. “What are all these people laughing at?” I noticed a few of the dialogue driven jokes weren’t even played off by the actors. They seemed to have been missed by everyone, including the editors. Other jokes are pop-culture references that will get stale with time. They’re integrated well, but definitely dated. The movie is redolent with the classic American comedy tradition of slapstick, which occasionally comes off as funny.
The production value left something to be desired as several scenes were obviously one-takes. I counted several instances where Becca’s kiss left Edward’s mouth with a smudge of his own flesh-tone showing through. But hey- at least single takes have continuity, right? The contacts, no doubt purchased in bulk, gave the characters an occasional Marty Feldman goggly-look. The effect is hilarious, although I’m not always sure if it’s intentional.
The cast has its standouts. Jenn Proske’s Becca comes dangerously close (like copyright-violating close) to the performance of Kristen Stewart’s Bella as the fidgety, twitchy, sullen and hormone-y heroine. And Ken Jeong (The Hangover) as Daro, while not appearing on screen much, definitely makes his comedic presence felt.
All in all, “Vampires Suck” didn’t really suck… it kind of chews, like gum. Gum out of the package is fresh, flavorful, but the longer you chew it, the tougher and more stale it becomes. This movie is fresh, funny, and quirky right now, but it won’t stand the test of time like more accomplished parodies.
Becca (newcomer Jenn Proske) is forced to move to Sporks, Washington, with her deadbeat father and town sheriff, Frank Crane (Diedrich Bader of The Drew Carey Show). Frank’s best friend is the rough-and-tumble paraplegic Native American, Bobby. His contribution to the plot is his hunky teenage son, Jacob White (Chris Riggi of Gossip Girl). The town of Sporks seems to have vampires on the brain and its population is only growing smaller.
Our heroine is introduced to Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter of Disaster Movie) and what follows is the “classic” story of girl-meets-vampire, girl-loses-vampire, girl-gets-threatened-by-vampire-nemesis, etc. Writers/Directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer use their formulaic approach to spoof movies by making the plot a cliff-notes version of the Stephanie Meyer’s original material, with ample jokes thrown in-in an attempt to beef up their rendition.
In fact, there are so many visual jokes in the movie that it left me wondering what a sight-impaired person might conclude of the movie. “What are all these people laughing at?” I noticed a few of the dialogue driven jokes weren’t even played off by the actors. They seemed to have been missed by everyone, including the editors. Other jokes are pop-culture references that will get stale with time. They’re integrated well, but definitely dated. The movie is redolent with the classic American comedy tradition of slapstick, which occasionally comes off as funny.
The production value left something to be desired as several scenes were obviously one-takes. I counted several instances where Becca’s kiss left Edward’s mouth with a smudge of his own flesh-tone showing through. But hey- at least single takes have continuity, right? The contacts, no doubt purchased in bulk, gave the characters an occasional Marty Feldman goggly-look. The effect is hilarious, although I’m not always sure if it’s intentional.
The cast has its standouts. Jenn Proske’s Becca comes dangerously close (like copyright-violating close) to the performance of Kristen Stewart’s Bella as the fidgety, twitchy, sullen and hormone-y heroine. And Ken Jeong (The Hangover) as Daro, while not appearing on screen much, definitely makes his comedic presence felt.
All in all, “Vampires Suck” didn’t really suck… it kind of chews, like gum. Gum out of the package is fresh, flavorful, but the longer you chew it, the tougher and more stale it becomes. This movie is fresh, funny, and quirky right now, but it won’t stand the test of time like more accomplished parodies.
Sophia (Bookwyrming Thoughts) (530 KP) rated Hidden Gold: A True Story of the Holocaust in Books
Jan 23, 2020
<b><i>I received this book for free from Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.</i></b>
I'm generally not a memoir person. But if I'm going to read a memoir (or even nonfiction), I'll choose anything about the Holocaust (I find that time period sadistically interesting).
<i>Hidden Gold</i> deserves about as much praise as Anne Frank's <i>Diary of a Young Girl</i>. A story set in another part of Europe (Poland) during Hitler's reign, Burakowski tells us her family's survival, hidden away from society in the hopes that they won't be found out.
For two years, the Golds hid with the Lanskis in a small part of a barn in Kolkow, surviving with very little sustenance. During that time, their hope dwindles little by little, but the two families still cling on to their pasts, even if that life will be impossible to get back to after everything blows over.
I loved how Burakowski introduces us to her family and the people that the Golds were involved with, giving us lots of background information on how Leib met Hanna and how the Golds lived their life in the early parts of the war. Burakowski also gives us insight on the growing hypocrisy and horrors among society as Hitler's power and anti-Semitism grew, giving us visuals on how life was like for the Jews back in the late 1930s and early 1940s. We're also shown the inner turmoils going on with those who had good relations with Jews and now having to choose whether or not they should help Jews, or give in to the propaganda.
Shoshana, Hanna's daughter, is extremely admirable. She's willing to go out to the Germans, pretending to be one of them, to buy her family time. She is also willing to risk her life a few times to get her family's money from Pi?czów, and going back again <em>while</em> she felt ill. If I were in her place, I'd probably continue to curl up in a fetal little ball. (Despite the fact I'm considered living in "poverty," I'm pretty much a lucky duckling. Also, being an only child, I'm probably a <em>little</em> spoiled.)
David is perhaps one of those where all the feels will come. Like any little kid, he's full of mischief and mayhem, but going through such a dark time at a really young age, he's extremely brave, confident, and has the most hope for the family getting out alive.
Although most of <i>Hidden Gold</i> is focused on the Gold's survival during Hitler running rampant with the final solution, Burakowski finalizes the story from David's viewpoint with how each of the family members were impacted years later in the future. For those interested in what happened in other parts of Europe or a survival story outside of concentration camps, Ella Burakowski's <i>Hidden Gold</i> makes a fantastic contribution depicting the horrors of the Holocaust.
<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/arc-review-hidden-gold-by-ella-burakowski/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
I'm generally not a memoir person. But if I'm going to read a memoir (or even nonfiction), I'll choose anything about the Holocaust (I find that time period sadistically interesting).
<i>Hidden Gold</i> deserves about as much praise as Anne Frank's <i>Diary of a Young Girl</i>. A story set in another part of Europe (Poland) during Hitler's reign, Burakowski tells us her family's survival, hidden away from society in the hopes that they won't be found out.
For two years, the Golds hid with the Lanskis in a small part of a barn in Kolkow, surviving with very little sustenance. During that time, their hope dwindles little by little, but the two families still cling on to their pasts, even if that life will be impossible to get back to after everything blows over.
I loved how Burakowski introduces us to her family and the people that the Golds were involved with, giving us lots of background information on how Leib met Hanna and how the Golds lived their life in the early parts of the war. Burakowski also gives us insight on the growing hypocrisy and horrors among society as Hitler's power and anti-Semitism grew, giving us visuals on how life was like for the Jews back in the late 1930s and early 1940s. We're also shown the inner turmoils going on with those who had good relations with Jews and now having to choose whether or not they should help Jews, or give in to the propaganda.
Shoshana, Hanna's daughter, is extremely admirable. She's willing to go out to the Germans, pretending to be one of them, to buy her family time. She is also willing to risk her life a few times to get her family's money from Pi?czów, and going back again <em>while</em> she felt ill. If I were in her place, I'd probably continue to curl up in a fetal little ball. (Despite the fact I'm considered living in "poverty," I'm pretty much a lucky duckling. Also, being an only child, I'm probably a <em>little</em> spoiled.)
David is perhaps one of those where all the feels will come. Like any little kid, he's full of mischief and mayhem, but going through such a dark time at a really young age, he's extremely brave, confident, and has the most hope for the family getting out alive.
Although most of <i>Hidden Gold</i> is focused on the Gold's survival during Hitler running rampant with the final solution, Burakowski finalizes the story from David's viewpoint with how each of the family members were impacted years later in the future. For those interested in what happened in other parts of Europe or a survival story outside of concentration camps, Ella Burakowski's <i>Hidden Gold</i> makes a fantastic contribution depicting the horrors of the Holocaust.
<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/arc-review-hidden-gold-by-ella-burakowski/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
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BookInspector (124 KP) rated The Woman in the Wood in Books
Sep 24, 2020
I would like to begin by saying, that this is my first book by this author, and it really surprised me. It felt like I was reading a literary classics and I really hope it will become one day.
The main characters of this book are twins Maisy and Duncan, and author really puts a lot of effort in introducing them. Generally, all the characters in this book were very well introduced and rounded. Their personalities were shining in this book, and there were so many to choose from. Lesley Pearse kept really pleasant balance between cold and warm characters, giving a taste of both and keeping the diversity going. I really liked the way author chose different ages for the characters, so everyone, from young to old will find someone to relate to. I do love books where characters have a voice, and this book didn’t disappoint me with that, but the transition between different perspectives was sometimes difficult to follow for me, as it just starts from new paragraph. That’s why, for me, this book required some concentration and suitable atmosphere to read it.
The plot of this book starts in 1960 in West London but quite quickly it is transferred to Nightingales mansion in Burley. Well, it was way before I was born and there are so many clues of the 60ies, but during whole book I had the feeling of early nineteenth century. It was because of the elegant and refined writing style used in this book, everything in this book screamed of politeness and rich mannerism, that’s why it felt like reading one of the classic books.
The story of this novel was flowing very smoothly, without any story changing twists or turns. There were some really interesting discoveries along the way, which made the book interesting, but it was not very fast paced for me. L. Pearse was discussing really interesting topics in this book, such as: children growing up with lack of parental love; the strong bond between siblings (in this case twins); how paedophilia and child abuse affects young kids mentally and physically; why people choose to live away from society; and I believe some of them were taken from author’s own colourful life.
As I mentioned before, the writing style of this book is very refined and sophisticated, and for me it is not easy to read such work, but very refreshing at the same time. The chapters of this book are not very short, but it changes between different characters perspectives, so they are not boring. I would like to throw in a disclaimer, there are some nasty things discussed in this book, so if you have an eager sensitive child who would like to read this novel, it could be a little distressing. The ending of this book wasn’t very exciting, but it was well deserved and rounded the story fully, leaving me satisfied with the outcome of this story. So to conclude, I enjoyed reading this rich novel, filled with unexpected writing style, well rounded, interesting characters, and it discusses very wide range of life aspects. Get it, read it, enjoy it!
Was given this book by publisher and NetGalley for honest review.
The main characters of this book are twins Maisy and Duncan, and author really puts a lot of effort in introducing them. Generally, all the characters in this book were very well introduced and rounded. Their personalities were shining in this book, and there were so many to choose from. Lesley Pearse kept really pleasant balance between cold and warm characters, giving a taste of both and keeping the diversity going. I really liked the way author chose different ages for the characters, so everyone, from young to old will find someone to relate to. I do love books where characters have a voice, and this book didn’t disappoint me with that, but the transition between different perspectives was sometimes difficult to follow for me, as it just starts from new paragraph. That’s why, for me, this book required some concentration and suitable atmosphere to read it.
The plot of this book starts in 1960 in West London but quite quickly it is transferred to Nightingales mansion in Burley. Well, it was way before I was born and there are so many clues of the 60ies, but during whole book I had the feeling of early nineteenth century. It was because of the elegant and refined writing style used in this book, everything in this book screamed of politeness and rich mannerism, that’s why it felt like reading one of the classic books.
The story of this novel was flowing very smoothly, without any story changing twists or turns. There were some really interesting discoveries along the way, which made the book interesting, but it was not very fast paced for me. L. Pearse was discussing really interesting topics in this book, such as: children growing up with lack of parental love; the strong bond between siblings (in this case twins); how paedophilia and child abuse affects young kids mentally and physically; why people choose to live away from society; and I believe some of them were taken from author’s own colourful life.
As I mentioned before, the writing style of this book is very refined and sophisticated, and for me it is not easy to read such work, but very refreshing at the same time. The chapters of this book are not very short, but it changes between different characters perspectives, so they are not boring. I would like to throw in a disclaimer, there are some nasty things discussed in this book, so if you have an eager sensitive child who would like to read this novel, it could be a little distressing. The ending of this book wasn’t very exciting, but it was well deserved and rounded the story fully, leaving me satisfied with the outcome of this story. So to conclude, I enjoyed reading this rich novel, filled with unexpected writing style, well rounded, interesting characters, and it discusses very wide range of life aspects. Get it, read it, enjoy it!
Was given this book by publisher and NetGalley for honest review.