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The Roanoke Girls
The Roanoke Girls
Amy Engel | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
10
8.0 (14 Ratings)
Book Rating
This review may be a bit spoilery concerning the theme of this novel, this couldn't be helped but I've tried to be as vague as possible.

"Roanoke girls never last long around here. In the end, we either run or we die."

These were the words that originally captivated me, pulling me in and compelling me to pick up The Roanoke Girls by Amy Engel.
This was quite a read, an unusual one, reminiscent of bygone authors, setting a stage of intrigue, mystery and dysfunctional family dynamics.
The secrets surrounding Roanoke are subtlely revealed early on leaving the reader highly aware of what flows beneath the seemingly normal surface.
This is a definite page-turner despite the exploration of (view spoiler)
This tale is told in two parts "Now and Then" and the storyline seamlessly hops between these two timelines.
We also get to jump briefly into the heads of each Roanoke girl that came before, which I found very enlightening, I really loved this touch and it greatly added to the storyline giving the reader an insight into what each girl was feeling deep inside her own skin.
Jane, Sophia, Penelope, Eleanor, Camilla, Allegra, Lane there is also little Emmaline but she died of a crib death as a baby.
All Roanoke girls, all carrying the same secrets down through the years, messed up heads and lives affected tragically.
The echoes of this rebounding out through each new generation.
This story is told through Lane Roanoke's point of view after her mother commits suicide and Lane comes to live with her Rich grandparents and cousin Allegra on the family estate.
This is the "THEN" portrayed in the narrative.
The "NOW" is Eleven years later when Lane returns to the family home after a frantic call from her granddad informing her that her cousin Allegra is missing.
After vowing never to return, Lane reluctantly returns home confronting secrets shes buried deep down inside.

I loved Lane as a character, she was a bit of a messed up headcase, but who can blame her.
It's obvious Lane Loved Allegra so deeply and this was the only thing, I think, her disappearing, that could have dragged her back to the bowels of Roanoke.
It was also very thought-provoking to observe Lane's former teenage toxic relationship with cooper rekindled as adults and I really did like him he had his own past baggage but really seemed to have evolved from this, unlike Lane.
I was so rooting for these two and I thought they made a great match, neither party having had it easy in life, they both deserved a bit of stability in the now.
Now Lanes connection with her grandad this was a strange one, confusing even I think to lane herself she really seemed to feel equal measures hate and love towards him.
Struggling with her mixed up emotions, greatly wanting to loathe him but feeling a strange pull, maybe because Lane feels he was the first person to actually seem to want and love her after enduring a lifetime of apathy from her mother.
As for the gran, well, What a cold selfish bitch she was.
I felt she herself held a huge role in what had been allowed to transpire, isn't it a mothers job to protect her daughters.
In this Lillian Roanoke has failed epically actually blaming her daughters instead of shielding them, she was such a cold fish only seeming to feel any affection towards her twisted husband.
Turning a blind eye and looking the other way is her game.
Surprisingly she was my least favourite character even over Myles Roanoke himself.
I think it was the whole lack of maternal anything that contributed to my dislike of her immensely.
The Roanoke Girls has so many diverse flawed individuals that all do their part in making this an enthralling page-turner.
This is a portrayal of a family that is so not right and has not been for a very long time.
It is Love expressed so wrongly and out of context that it has become a sickness consuming from the inside out devouring till nothing remains standing.
A Dysfunctional family with dark concealed secrets at his core.

So I felt the author Amy Engel did an amazing job of dealing with such an explosive subject matter. she has handled it beautifully with finesse and a great understanding of such a delicate topic. Not everyone could have done this so sensitively and without sensationalising it so Really well done.

So that's it from me folk's, I could waffle on all day about this fascinating story, but I'm going to leave it here, but before I go a trigger warning The Roanoke Girls deals with themes of incest, but bar the one small kiss it is only referred to in words not actions and it is really not graphic in its content at all, but if this is a trigger for you please do avoid.
So all that's left is for me to say Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and the author Amy Engel herself for providing me with an arc of The Roanoke Girls this is my own honest unbiased opinion.

Arc Reviewed By BeckieBookworm
https://www.beckiebookworm.com/
https://www.facebook.com/beckiebookworm/

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/9460945-bex-beckie-bookworm
  
Fallout 4
Fallout 4
2017 | Role-Playing
More Fallout (1 more)
Crafting system
Dated engine (0 more)
It's Good To Be Back
To be honest, I thought I would have a lot more to talk about in my review. I was prepared to write a War and Peace style essay on how great Fallout 4 was and yet I find myself struggling to live up to that notion. Not because the game isn’t good, Fallout 4 is exactly what we have been waiting all these years for, but that’s just it. This game is exactly what we were hoping for and nothing more, which is more than fine with me. Playing this game for the first time feels like slipping on an old pair of comfortable slippers, the controls all come back to you immediately, the charm of a Fallout game is immediately present and it feels like you are right back at home. The world is vast, beautiful in parts and grotesque in others and I’m not just talking about the intentional aesthetic ugliness of the game’s world. Streched textures, dated character models, stiff animation loops, clipping, short draw distance and technical glitches are just some of the problems that come with Bethesda using the dated Creation Engine to create their first ‘next gen’ open world game. The best thing graphically in this game is the lighting effects and the more vibrant colour pallet. When the rays of sunshine hit the trees of Sanctuary Hills at the right moment this game can actually look quite beautiful, but that is immediately lost when you turn around and see the eerie face of Mama Murphy. So the presentation could be better, but I feel that’s to be expected from a Bethesda game and that is the problem. This shouldn’t be ‘expected’ from any game in 2015, if CD Projekt Red and Kojima Productions can produce large scale open world games that actually look like they were made this year and not a decade ago, then there is no real reason that Bethesda can’t. However even with all of these flaws and complaints that we really shouldn’t have to continually endure, Fallout 4 is still my GOTY. I mean all Fallout 4 had to do to be my GOTY was to be more of Fallout 3 and that is exactly what it is. The shooting is still clunky but I am a big fan of the VATS system and I’m really glad that they decided to keep the feature and it feels good to get back to being the loot addict that I am. Now, even the junk has a significant use! The crafting system in this game is such an awesome addition, I mean it obviously has its flaws as it isn’t the smoothest crafting system I have ever used, but in a game like fallout it just makes so much sense. I’m not really into the weapon, armour, chemistry or cooking crafting stations, but the ability to build your own settlements is awesome. It genuinely has stopped me from progressing the main quest. No spoilers, but I am at the part where you have to choose a faction to side with in the run up to the end of the game, but I couldn’t care less about any of that, I’m quite happy to just keep building up my settlements. That’s not to say that the quests and characters in this game aren’t interesting, because they are. The companions are all quite interesting, even if there is a strange lack of female options for a companion. The worst companion though, by far, is Dogmeat. He is the worst programmed and therefore the most broken. Constantly blocking corridors and doorways, not fetching items for you when they are within reaching distance and just being a general annoyance, he goes from being cute to irritant in a couple of short hours. The voice acting is also something that varies like crazy. Both the male and female protagonists are voiced excellently, (even if it is a Caucasian man and woman doing the voices, which means if your character is any other ethnicity, they will still sound white,) but the other voices of NPC’s etc are wooden and downright awful in places. The areas in this game are cool, they add to the tone and the immersion, as do the sound effects and score, but there is a level of polish that is absent here and there is no reason for it, it just lets the game down and prevents reviewers from giving that perfect 10 score. People on the internet have gave the dialogue system a lot of hate and while I can see where that is coming from, I personally think it functions fine.

Fallout 4 isn’t going to break any major grounds, it isn’t going to change the gaming landscape on any grand scale and it does feel like an old game and I’m okay with all of that. This is my GOTY because it’s more Fallout and that was all that I needed it to be. Sure it would have been nicer if the game looked a bit prettier and some of the systems were a bit smoother, but to be back in the wasteland, taking part in random battles that break out beside you as you wander through this dead world and looting until you can’t walk properly, it brings the feelings out in me that I haven’t felt since Fallout 3.
  
What To Do With A Duke
What To Do With A Duke
Sally MacKenzie | 2015 | Fiction & Poetry
2
2.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Mild humor (1 more)
Some good discussion about marriage and women
Unstable plot (2 more)
Frustrating characters
Vulgar male lead
A misguided curse
When it comes to historical romance, I look for one of two things: one, a compelling love story with some scenes that make me blush and fan myself; or two, a light and fluffy clean romance, sometimes with a touch of humor. What I demand from all historical romances is for both the romance and the setting to be believable. I’ve started to wonder if my standards are too high. When I went into this book, with the cute cover and hints at a curse, I figured this one might fall on the fluffy side of the spectrum (the cat on the cover may have influenced this assumption). I was sadly mistaken.

The characters seem so non-committal, not just with each other, but with upholding any of the values they claim to have. Catherine was constantly complaining about how she needed peace and solitude to write, but in the first half of the novel whenever she had it she didn’t do it. She blames family for her difficulties with not being able to be the next great novelist, but the problem was really with the fact that she was not all that committed to doing it. Just like she apparently was not all that committed to being a spinster, despite preaching about it constantly. I found Catherine’s character to be frustrating at every turn and had a hard time rooting for her.

Unfortunately, the other half of this love story was hardly any better. Marcus is dreamy for all of a few minutes, until he started talking about his manhood… Which he proceeded to do all the time. Every time the narration would switch to him, inevitably a thought would end with some note about what his cock wants. I suppose Marcus’ raw desire was supposed to be tantalizing, but I honestly just found it vulgar. It didn’t help that everything about Marcus and Catherine’s romance was a lust at first sight sort of scenario. I didn’t feel any real chemistry between them, even by the end when they are apparently in love with each other I still wasn’t feeling it. Literally everything always boiled back down to sex. The rest of the story and dialogue was not even all that funny, clever, or witty, it was just two stubborn people wanting to get in each other’s pants the entire book while being really over dramatic about, well, everything.

Then there is the curse plot line, which I could suspend my belief and go with it for a while, but even that felt like it was poorly thought out. Marcus has to control his desires and avoid marriage because he’s fearful of accidentally impregnating a woman, thus ending his life. Though somehow, he has no problem with brothel women and the risk of impregnating any of them? Because bastard children can’t be heirs? Sure, at that time period they certainly had a harder go of it, but it wasn’t unheard of. And even if that was the case, didn’t the curse start with an illegitimate child born to a woman jilted by her lover? The number of plot holes was staggering and it wouldn’t have been such a big deal if it wasn’t the central focus of the story.

I also didn’t buy the mildly magical ending with the cat. No I don’t hate the cat, on the contrary the cat was perhaps the best character in the entire book. It just seemed too convenient, too hastily put together. I was also bothered by the fact that, in order to I guess create some tension, Marcus had absolutely no interest in finding out the truth about the curse. That alone basically undid all of the effort, all of the worry, all of the focus this character had on this family curse that has weighed so heavily on him for his entire life. It made absolutely no sense for his character. I don’t even want to go into how his character contradicts himself again once the mystery is solved. I hated Marcus.

I almost put this book down after the first couple of chapters, but things picked up around the half way mark. After one scene that actually made me chuckle with the eye brow waggling old ladies, I had hope that maybe the story would redeem itself with the added bit of comedy. I was disappointed that things started to go downhill again once the book attempted to flesh out the curse and develop the romance between Catherine and Marcus. Which, while I’m on that subject – I absolutely hated how that turned out. Catherine spends the entire novel preaching about never wanting to get trapped in a marriage and to never have children, then finds herself trapped. It wasn’t romantic, it was just frustrating.

On a slightly random note, I also noticed at one point an expletive is used that I was fairly certain did not exist in the context that it was used during that time period. After looking it up my assumption was correct – while the word had existed in the more vulgar sense that it is commonly used, as a curse or slang word it didn’t come about until the 1920’s. I know it’s being overly nit picky, but things like that really ruin the immersion in the time period for me.
  
(This review can be found on my blog <a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.com/">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>).


I had been wanting to read this book since I saw it advertised on another blog. It has a creepy boarding school which definitely piqued my interest. Luckily, this turned out to be an interesting read!

I like the title of this book. It sounds super ominous. I think the title definitely suits the story as, well, the plot does kind of involve Anne's education.

I love the cover! How creepy does it look!?! I love the way the boarding school on the cover looks really foreboding.

I enjoyed the world building. I'm not going to lie. While I was reading, I kept thinking that never would a poor girl get into a rich school, but the author does a fantastic job of explaining why and how towards the end of the book. I did have a lot of questions about the world building, but Wiebe does an awesome job at answering every single one. World events are mentioned in this book and how a character in this book relates to them. That was the scariest bit of world building for me because it's so easy to picture this scenario being responsible.

The pacing is a bit slow for the first two-thirds of the book, I'd say. I was thinking this would be one of those disappointing reads that I was really looking forward to. However, the last third or so of the book picks up the pace, and before I knew it, I couldn't put the book down. The only thing that would hurt this book is that a lot of readers might give up on it simply because the pacing is so slow throughout a huge chunk of the book.

The plot was really intriguing. A poor girl, Anne, is invited to study at a prestigious boarding school where only the super rich send their kids. Not to mention, it's also a secret boarding school. When Anne arrives at the school, everyone seems to know her story. Anne discovers that not all is as it seems at Cania Christy, and she embarks on a dangerous mission to find out the truth about her secretive boarding school. I really wish I could elaborate more on the plot, but if I did, it would give away spoilers and a major plot twist. The plot twist is what really pulled me in! Also, just when you think the book is going to end, it starts back up again with another plot twist! As this is part of a series, there is a cliff hanger at the end.

I thought the characters were all written very well. I especially liked the main character of Anne. I found her to be just an average teenage girl trying to find her place in the world. I found myself always feeling the same exact feelings she was experiencing during different points in the book. I also really enjoyed the character of Pilot. I loved his care free attitude about everything and how he didn't really let anything get to him. I also thought he was really good at what he did. I didn't really know what to make of Ben at first, but I eventually warmed to him. He seemed like a really sweet guy. The one character that annoyed me was Harper simply because I hated the way the author stereotyped her as she was from Texas. I hate how a lot of authors think Texans are all rich hillbillies which is what Harper seemed to be. The stereotypes that Harper embodied just really angered me. I wish Joanna Wiebe would've done some research on people from Texas before she wrote the character of Harper because it seemed obvious to me, as a Texan, that she didn't.

I thought the dialogue felt very realistic and flowed very well for the most part. The only dialogue that annoyed me was Harper's since the author made her sound like a stereotypical Texan. A lot of the "Texan" dialogue Harper used were words I'd never even heard (and I was born and raised in Texas). I'm thinking the author just made up a lot of those phrases. I'm just hoping that people who read this book don't actually believe that's how we talk in Texas. Other then that, I enjoyed the dialogue, and it felt like a real high school setting. There is some sexual talk, some violence, and some swear words, but I felt like none of that was over the top.

Overall, The Unseemly Education of Anne Merchant by Joanna Wiebe is an interesting read. I feel that if the first two thirds of the book would've had a bit more action and there wasn't any stereotyping going on that this could've been a fantastic book. However, I'm looking forward to and will be reading the next book.

I'd recommend this book to those aged 16+ who want to immerse themselves in a brilliant paranormal world.

<b>I'd give <i>The Unseemly Education of Anne Merchant</i> by Joanna Wiebe a 3.75 out of 5.</b>
  
TG
The Gingerbread House
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
(This review can also be found on my blog <a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.com/">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>).


I didn't know what to expect with The Gingerbread House by Nell Carson. I'm not really a big romance reader because I'm not really one for all that mushy stuff. In fact, I try to stay away from strictly romance books (unless they are YA). However, after reading this book, I've been swayed. I loved this book, and I think it may be my favorite adult romance that I've read. Okay, I haven't read many, but this one is definitely one of the best I've read.

Greta runs a bridal shop out of her historic home. It's just not the history that Greta loves about it, but it's also her mother's home since her childhood and the source of many great memories. So when Stephanie Harwood of Harwood Development wants to tear it down to make way for a mall, Greta is devastated. Enter Gray Daniels. Greta finds him extremely attractive. Too bad he's engaged to Stephanie. Will Greta be able to save her workplace and her mother's home? What will happen with Gray?

I think the title of this book is incredibly cute (just like the story)! I love the uniqueness of the title, yet it describes a major plot point in the story. I'm super thrilled the author decided to call her book The Gingerbread House. I must admit that the title is what definitely caught my attention.

I'm not really a fan of the cover. For me, it's just too plain. I felt like the cover is very underwhelming which is a shame because the story is so good. When I first saw the cover, I was a little put off thinking it'd be a really boring story. How wrong was I!?! I felt that maybe an actual photo/picture of the house itself on the cover would've caught my eye. All I can say is please don't judge this book by its cover. Otherwise, you'll be missing out on a little gem of a book.

The world building was fantastic as was the setting. This story is set in a small town just outside of Aspen, Colorado. Being from a small town, I tend to be critical when authors use small towns as their setting. However, Carson definitely hit the nail on the head with her descriptions of life in a small town. I liked how there was no insta-love. The characters took their time falling in love with each other. In other words, the relationship between the main character and her love interest just felt natural instead of forced.

The pacing was brilliant in this book! In fact, I breezed through this in less than 3 hours. (It would've been less than that, but I had a few things to do in the mean time). Yes, it is a short read, but it's definitely a book that holds your attention right up until the very end. Not once did I become bored while reading The Gingerbread House.

I felt that the characters were very well written to the point that they could actually be someone you know. I was feeling what Greta was feeling all throughout the book. I loved how determined she was when it came to saving her home. I loved how she seemed very real and how her emotions related well to what was going on. Gray was definitely an interesting character. I loved the moral battle he was fighting. I could actually feel how torn up inside he was about what was going on. I thought the author did an excellent job portraying Stephanie. We want to hate Stephanie, and there were times I did, but the author reminds us that Stephanie is fighting her own battle as well and has her reasons for being the way she is. I just wish we would've heard a bit more about Stephanie. I'd go into more detail, but I don't want to spoil anything. I absolutely adored Adele. I loved this sweet woman and just wanted to hug her every time she was mentioned in the book.

The dialogue was perfect and fit each scene perfect. The dialogue between the characters was interesting to read and never felt forced or dull. Even though this is an adult book, there are no swear words and no sexual situations which I was extremely happy about, so if you're after a clean romance adult book, this is perfect.

Overall, I definitely enjoyed reading The Gingerbread House by Nell Carson. I would've liked to hear more about Stephanie and the mall (again, not going into detail as not to ruin anything), but those are just little minor annoyances. I enjoyed what a sweet, fun and cute read this was. Almost everything about this book was written perfectly. One thing I also loved a lot was how tastefully this book was written.

I'd recommend this book to everyone aged 18+ (or any age really as it's a really clean read) who is after a light and sweet romantic read.

The Gingerbread House by Nell Carson gets a 4.75 out of 5 from me.

~~~

I'd like to thank the author for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.
  
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Debbiereadsbook (1441 KP) rated From A Jack To A King in Books

Jul 3, 2018 (Updated Jan 31, 2019)  
From A Jack To A King
From A Jack To A King
Scotty Cade | 2018 | LGBTQ+, Romance
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
bloody LOVED this book! and the narration!
Independent reviewer for Divine Magazine, I was gifted both the ebook AND audio version of this book.

First half of this review is from when I READ it, the second half is the audio bit.

Oh it's been a while since I had my Scotty Cade fix, and this proper hit THAT spot!

Bay is, by his own words, pretty much a recluse. Save for promoting his latest book and getting his gambling hit, he doesn't get out much. And when he DOES, he uses his character Jack as his alter ego. Winning escort King in a card game, and coming face to face with the spitting image of Jack knocks Bay off his axis. Just as meeting Bay knocks King off of his. King doesn't see Jack, he sees BAY. He also sees that Bay might be the one to halt his recovery.

I will be honest here, cos ya'll know I'm all about sharing, and tell you, I walked into this one a little wary. I've read a couple of other porn star books and had pretty much decided that I didn't like that particular troupe, and I wouldn't read any more. But this came up, and, I mean, its' Scotty Cade for heaven's sake! So I signed up and I was so very NOT disappointed!

What this one did, what made it stand out, was there was very little "work" time for King, once he and Bay had met. There is a scene before, and one after. But the one after is a huge part of the story; a necessary and integral part.

I loved that it's nearly to the end of the book before Bay and King come together properly. Loved that Bay put his research skills to good use; both for helping King with his recovery and watching all those videos to further his relationship with King.

Loved that while previously only ever having been with women, Bay didn't seem overly perturbed by his attraction to King. OH, he questioned his sexuality, many many times, but he wasn't particularly bothered by it!

There are some difficult topics dealt with here. Bullying and how that effects Bay as an adult. Sex addiction and how that makes King so very wary of what he feels for Bay so very VERY early on. Both topics are dealt with well and with sensitivity, but some readers may struggle with them.

I have just one teeny tiny niggle, but it doesn't affect my rating or my overall enjoyment of this book. It's just ME, being a little bit picky!

I would have liked, just once, while Bay and King are up close and personal, for Bay to have used King's given name, and not his "stage" name. That's all! Told you it was me being picky!

Mr Cade has a particular knack of writing with emotion; of being able to make you cry in really random places along with his characters; of being able to grab at your heart strings, tug them, snap them and put them back together again! And I bloody loved this book for that!!

I read this in one sitting, stayed up way past my bedtime to finish this! Loved it!!

5 full and shiny stars!

AUDIO REVIEW

Kenneth Obi narrates. And Mr Obi is growing on me for several reasons. As I see more and more books narrated by him, I can see his skill set growing. A quick search shows far more books that I expected, but the oldest is only November 2017, so he is still fairly new at this, and in the time since I listened to the other one he narrated that is in my library, I can hear a difference.

Obi's voice for Bay was. . . unexpected. I've no idea WHY, but that was my first thought. He sounds almost too young, but as I listened, I realised it fit Bay, PERFECTLY, it really did. I LOVED Bay's voice, I really did.

Obi's reading voice is clear and even, his voices for ALL the characters are clear and distinct enough for my crappy hearing to make them out. It was my only real criticism in the last book I listened to of his work, the voices were too similar for my crappy hearing to keep up. NOT so here.

The scenes for King and Bay getting up close and personal came over way more. . .what's the word. . . whats. . . .the. . .word. . . intense? maybe? I dunno, can't find that right word, and I hate not being able to do that, but they came across all kinds of different to when I read it. An AMAZING different though, cos Obi got out all the emotions that you don't always pick up when reading. The hitches and dips in the voices, the little noises, they don't always come across well on paper but HEARING them?? Oh yes Sir, intense is the right word!

I stand by what I said in my read review though! I would have liked, just once, while Bay and King are up close and personal, for Bay to have used King's given name, and not his "stage" name. That's all!

Watch out for Mr Obi, he's now firmly on my list!!

5 stars for the book
5 stars for the narration
5 stars overall.

**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
  
Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004)
Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004)
2004 | Comedy
How in the world do you review a film like Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy? The film is meant to be as ridiculous as possible with outrageous performances and a paper thin storyline; half of its charm is its overuse of improvisation. You either found its absurd nature hilarious and consider it one of the funniest films ever (and completely ignore the horrid sequel) or hate it for being a nonsensical comedy filled with a cast of immature people who can’t hold a straight face for a single take. It’s honestly difficult to argue either perspective, but the 20-year-old version of this critic who saw this film and adored it would drop dead if he found out that it doesn’t hold up as well nearly 15 years later.

It’s 1974 and on the local San Diego news station KVWN channel 4 newscaster Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) is king since channel 4 is always number one in the ratings. His news team consists of sports newscaster Champ Kind (David Koechner), investigative news reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), and weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell). Up until this point, only men were allowed to read the news but a new female co-anchor named Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) is hired by channel 4 and has bigger plans. Veronica is ambitious, has a ton of experience, and envisions herself as one day becoming a lead network anchor. Tensions rise and feuds flare up, but times are changing and it’s something everyone, including Ron Burgundy, is going to have to deal with.

Anchorman is a tricky comedy because it throws all of its success into this random formula. There is a plot, but it takes a backseat to the memorable and hysterical one-liners from the film. These one-liners are phrases that you’ll be saying for years to come as a few will likely become household favorites if you or your family has any sort of taste whatsoever. With the absolute blessing of owning so many cats, a common phrase from Anchorman that gets repeated around here on a regular basis is, “You will eat that cat poop!” With a comedy this spontaneous, it’s difficult to comment on aspects such as the story since it shouldn’t be taken as seriously as a film where the story actually matters. Anchorman isn’t trying to win any awards. This is a film that is only trying to make its audience laugh and if it does that then it has to be successful in some sort of capacity. The cast absolutely embodies these characters to a fairly flawless extent. Being so absorbed in these roles makes the absurdity more believable and slightly easier to swallow.

Before Will Ferrell became unbearable, the holy trinity of Will Ferrell comedies were Step Brothers, Anchorman, and Talladega Nights; in that order (unless his cameo in Wedding Crashers counts). This was the early and late 2000s before Farrell’s on-screen antics had grown stale. Most of Farrell’s films follow the same generic formula; a nonexistent plot followed by a series of aimless one-liners and spitfire jokes that come out of nowhere. Ferrell’s career is well past the redundant stage as his more serious roles show more promise these days than his exasperating comedies. That formula was still working with Anchorman and it seems to have worked for many other who saw it as the film garnered a cult status over time.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy isn’t going to be for everyone and it’s totally understandable if you or someone you know downright hates the film. It is absolutely moronic in its execution, but for those who love it that is why it’s as funny as it is. There isn’t a riveting story, impressive character development, or a steady buildup towards anything worthwhile (unless Jack Black dropkicking a fake dog off of an overpass counts as a proper climax). Anchorman has the attention span of a Family Guy cutaway gag. If you enjoy Family Guy, then Anchorman is probably one of your favorite movies.

This is like getting together with a bunch of friends and laughing at stupid stuff because you’re loaded on sugar, but Anchorman stretches out that feeling for an hour and a half; it’s a 90-minute sugar rush with no breaks. It’s like snorting Pixie Stix and laughing like an idiot for an hour straight or chugging a two-liter Coke and inhaling seven packets of Pop Rocks and laughing at your stomach not exploding. You don’t watch Anchorman to ponder your life choices or be amazed at technical achievements in filmmaking. This is a paper thin comedy that only wants to make you laugh and forget about how hard it is to make adult decisions in the overly intimidating modern world for a short hour and a half time period. If Anchorman can accomplish all of that and you quote it like a giggling idiot, then the two of us have something in common and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy should be considered as a masterwork in hilarious idiocy.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is currently available to rent via Amazon Video, Youtube, Vudu, and Google Play for $2.99 and through iTunes for $3.99. The Unrated DVD is available as an add-on item through Amazon for $3.99, multi-format Blu-ray for $6.98, and the unrated Rich Mahogany Blu-ray for $5.99. It’s also available on DVD ($2.45) and Blu-ray ($3.65) through eBay with free shipping.
  
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Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Ready Player One (2018) in Movies

Jun 18, 2019 (Updated Jun 18, 2019)  
Ready Player One (2018)
Ready Player One (2018)
2018 | Sci-Fi
Steven Spielberg's (Mostly) Triumphant Return to Sci-Fi
If we’re being honest here, writer to reader, I never got around to reading Ernest Cline’s Ready Player One novel despite the fact that it’s sitting on a bookshelf less than ten feet from me as I type this. It turned out not to matter that much since Steven Spielberg took liberties with the source material. In the film, a virtual video game reality known as the OASIS is where everyone spends their time in the year 2045. Our main character Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan) lives in, “The Stacks,” which is basically just a bunch of mobile homes stacked on top of each other. The coin collected in the OASIS as well as purchases within the game have evolved into an individual's life savings in the real world. Everyone wants to escape their crappy life and the OASIS is now all that matters.

James Halliday (Mark Rylance), creator of the OASIS, dies suddenly but he leaves behind a treasure hunt for three keys hidden within the depths of the OASIS with the main prize being an Easter egg that would allow the winner to have complete control over the entirety of the OASIS. Wade (as his avatar Parzival) intends to win Halliday’s challenge to get out of The Stacks and adopts the title of Gunter (egg hunter) along with his friends Aech (Lena Waithe), Art3mis (Olivia Cooke), and brothers Daito (Win Morisaki) and Sho (Philip Zhao) who become known together as the, “HIgh Five,” but a video game conglomerate known as Innovative Online Industries or IOI spends all of their time and money attempting to find the secrets Halliday has hidden. IOI consists of an army known as the Sixers, which are players who owe large debts to the OASIS. CEO of IOI Nolan Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn) intends to take the free-to-use OASIS and transform it into a monetized monopoly.

The storyline of Spielberg’s Ready Player One reminds me of the 19th episode of season two of Regular Show entitled, “High Score.” In that episode, Mordecai and Rigby attempt to beat the world record on a video game with record holder Garrett Bobby Ferguson (GBF or Giant Bearded Face). Ready Player One kind of expands on that concept and throws in a ton of nostalgic movie references while being set in the future. The weird thing is that those recycled moments that call back to the movies of yesteryear are the highlights of Ready Player One while the rest of the film suffers from Spielberg’s usual shortcomings.

I haven’t enjoyed a Steven Spielberg film since 2011’s The Adventures of Tintin. That combined with the trailer coming off as less than impressive and poster art from the marketing campaign (the main poster illustrated by Drew Struzan is amazing) that seemed to rely on generic face swapping via Photoshop on well-known movie posters had me really underwhelmed for the film overall. The film itself also suffers from corny dialogue, tender and romantic moments feeling force fed and overwhelming, and head-scratching sequences that leave you wondering why they needed to be included in the first place (the whole dance club/second challenge scene, for starters).

However, what the science fiction adventure gets right is the reason why you go to the movies. Spielberg along with cinematographer and frequent collaborator Janusz Kaminski know how to smoothly and effectively capture dynamic shots with a camera. When we first see Wade in The Stacks, he slides down a series of ropes and poles passing by and through various homes and junkyard cars that no longer run all while showcasing how plugged into a false reality civilization has become. The first race sequence of the film is also extraordinary with its fast pace and hectic action that is fairly easy to digest due to the sleek camera work. There’s a fairly lengthy segment devoted to a beloved horror film that is legitimately fantastic since it is not only a throwback to that original film, but it’s also injected with new thrilling terrors that you won’t see coming. Most battle sequences in the film with large ensembles are impressive for all of the obvious reasons; solid special effects, mass number of characters on the screen, a delicious dose of destruction, and most of all a countless series of references to movies, video games, and cartoons that you probably love. Witnessing what characters will pop up, when, and how they’ll be utilized is half of what makes Ready Player One so fun; it’s like a big budget version of South Park’s Imaginationland.

You either love or hate what Steven Spielberg has accomplished as a filmmaker, but it’s difficult not to admit that Ready Player One is a hell of a lot of fun even if you have some issues with the film. Spielberg has this cliche quality to him that is completely overbearing at times and he isn’t able to escape that aspect of his filmmaking with Ready Player One, but there’s enough of an entertaining and nostalgic value combined with not knowing who’s going to pop up next and some incredible cinematography highlighted by fluid yet flashy special effects resulting in a film that will be exciting and fun for anyone who was ever or still is a rabid gamer or movie lover. Spielberg has crafted a surefire crowd-pleaser that is basically a two and a half hour sentimental plunge directly into your childhood.
  
Tusk (2014)
Tusk (2014)
2014 | Horror
To legions of his many fans, writer, director, producer, and podcaster Kevin Smith is a man fanboys find easy to root for. His films have become pop-culture gold to comic book, science fiction, and general geekdom fans the world over. Smith has built a career on independent films with characters that are as real as they are raw and raunchy. The crude nature of his jokes often put him in a “love them or hate them” category for many critics as it is definitely not a style that is for the masses. That being said, the films are witty, honest, and most times relatable, no matter how bad the situations and the characters become. Recently, Smith took a detour to the darker side with his film “Red State” that looked at a group of kids who became the victims of a fanatical cult leader and his followers.

While Smith was reportedly working to get funding for “Clerks 3”, an idea was presented to him during his Smodcast about a guy in rural Canada who is offering free room and board to anybody who would live with him on the condition that they wear a walrus costume from time to time. Buoyed by his followers on Twitter, Smith decided to make a horror film based on the situation even after learning that the incident in question was the result of a prank by a comedian.

In his new film Tusk, we are introduced to a successful podcaster named Wallace (Justin Long), who along with his costar Teddy (Haley Joel Osment), run a show called the Not See Party, whose name leads to several double takes and comical and uncomfortable situations down the line. Wallace’s girlfriend Ally (Genesis Rodriguez) wishes to accompany Wallace to his trip up to Canada in order to interview someone for a show.

Since Teddy is not a flyer, Wallace travels to locations to interview people and then in turn tells the stories to Teddy so the two can comment about them on air. Ally longs for the Wallace of old who was a struggling comedian as she believes that the successful Wallace is not that fun to be around as he no longer makes her a priority in life. Wallace admits as much when he discloses a series of infidelities to Teddy and dismisses them as nothing more than clearing of the head while traveling or before doing a live show for an audience.

Upon arriving in Manitoba, Wallace learns that his intended interview has befallen tragedy and faced without a topic for his next show, Wallace is intrigued by a flyer from a man offering room and board as well as plenty of stories.

Wallace makes contact with the individual and travels two hours into rural Manitoba at night to meet the man at his expansive estate. Upon meeting Howard Howe (Michael Parks), Wallace is captivated by the elderly wheelchair-bound gentleman and his tales of life at sea including meeting Ernest Hemingway during the war. As Wallace sat spellbound by the tales Howard is telling him, he soon falls unconscious as a result of being drugged by his host. Things take a very dark turn the following morning when Howard learns that he has lost a leg of which Howard proclaims was the tragic result of a spider bite. Things become a living nightmare as Wallace quickly learns just how devious and diabolical Michael’s plans are for him and trapped in a remote area his humanity and faith are slowly stripped away by the situation he finds himself in.

Teddy and Ally travel to Manitoba due to a frantic call Wallace makes and not finding much assistance from the local authorities, turn to quirky and eccentric former homicide detective Guy LaPointe (Johnny Depp), who fears that Wallace has become the victim of an elusive killer whom LaPointe has been trying to find for years.

What follows is a dark, disturbing, and utterly captivating thriller in a race against time with the very essence and humanity of Wallace hanging in the balance.

While Smith inserts his trademark humor into the film, this is very much a psychological thriller and not a comedy. Depp does a fantastic job and is almost unrecognizable in his role as a homicide detective who is scheduled to appear in a subsequent film currently shooting. While it seemed a bit of a stretch that Ally would want be involved with Wallace, there was nonetheless a good bit of chemistry between them even though the majority of their scenes are shown via flashback.

Long and Parks propel the story as it is pretty much about the dramatic struggle between the two of them. Parks is captivating and creepy while the brash Wallace gets a lesson in humanity and what truly matters in life. While some will no doubt find the subject matter highly disturbing and may be quick to dismiss the film, this is one of the more clever and enjoyable thrillers in recent years and proves that Smith is a filmmaker capable of doing things other than his trademark comedies and should be encouraged to continue to broaden his horizons.

As it stands the film should delight fans of Smith but also allows him to expand his audience into new areas as this truly is one of the more memorable and entertaining films of the year.

http://sknr.net/2014/09/19/tusk/
  
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Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Men in Black International (2019) in Movies

Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Sep 25, 2019)  
Men in Black International (2019)
Men in Black International (2019)
2019 | Action, Sci-Fi
When Men In Black 3 came out 7 years ago I wasn't convinced they'd be able to follow the first two films, but it's probably become my favourite of the franchise for that ending alone. Seeing the trailers for International I was a little dubious but knowing how I felt the last time I was slightly optimistic about it.

*Eyes closed. Pinch bridge of nose. Slow, pained exhale.*

I hate it when the internet is right, it sets a very bad precedent. This film was not good, and it was fairly evident early on. Considering that at the beginning of the film we're seeing a kid discovering aliens for the first time I can't fathom how there is so little wonder and excitement in it. I found myself thinking it was cute, but cute isn't enough to kickstart a film.

I hoped for a while that it was just a slow burner, but after a third of the film had passed it was difficult to hold on to that hope. There was almost nothing that was exciting in it to make you want to ever see it again.

Somehow the effects have got both better and worse at the same time. The aliens in general look a little shoddy, apart from the main evil duo. There are some moments where they turn into a gaseous entity, their appearance changes to a galaxy like blur, and it's actually pretty beautiful to see... but then they turn back.

Tessa Thompson plays our obsessed wannabe woman in black. Relatively speaking her performance was quite good. I've only seen her in things from the last couple of years, and apart from Ragnarok I haven't been overly impressed with the roles she's played but Molly was a nice addition to her roster.

Chris Hemsworth... oh my dear boy... I'm not convinced that he should do comedy. Thor is great in Ragnarok but outside of that I'm not overly fond. There's only so far handsome and a little dumb can get you, and I think Thor and Kevin really used all of that up. When he's so good at drama I'm not sure why he keeps picking the same type of comedic pieces, as a dramatic actor in 12 Strong and Bad Times At The El Royale he was great and I really want to go back and see more of his serious roles. H in this is basically just Kevin from Ghostbusters in a black suit with a few more brain cells. It's a terribly scripted role and a massively disappointing lead in a series that has so much possibility behind it.

The standout performance for me is from Kumail Nanjiani as Pawny. Pawny is fantastically scripted, to the point that I wondered if someone else had written his part. The wonderful thing about it was that I could feel Nanjiani in everything that Pawny was doing, if you'd had him as a real-life character it would have been (almost) exactly the same performance. The only times I laughed were Pawny moments and I was genuinely annoyed when they were interrupted by the rest of the film.

Our four main supporting actors are a bit of a mix. Emma Thompson gives a repeat performance as O and ooooo is she glorious as always. Liam Neeson plays High T, the head of the London branch of MIB, it's fairly non-descript, sadly he's no Rip Torn. Rafe Spall plays Agent C who's a bit of a snitch. He has a rather slow start and when we meet him it's not a great scene for anyone involved, I found him to be terribly boring but thankfully his part does improve as we get deeper into it. Lastly we've got the surprise inclusion of Rebecca Ferguson as H's ex-girlfriend, Riza... I just... what was the point of her character?

"But the bad guy fights must have been good?"... am I the only one that felt like there wasn't really a bad guy in this? Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of options but we don't see enough of any of them to be really invested in the fact that they're bad. And when it comes to action scenes... were there really any of them either? I just... I can't even... ugh...

Considering I wasn't buzzing about this before I went in I'm amazed that I felt so disappointed by it. There was very little to enjoy beyond Nanjiani's Pawny, and hardly anything to workout as you watched because the trailers made it fairly obvious what was going to happen. You always hope that new instalments of series are going to stand up to its predecessors or at least not be so shit that they make you regret spending time watching it... yeah...

I want to like this more and I may give it a second chance after the slight success of Aladdin's second viewing, but no matter what happens, this is still going to be ranked fourth in the series.

What you should do

I really wouldn't bother watching this, spend your time rewatching the previous three instalments.

Movie thing you wish you could take home

I would like the only amazing thing from this film, one Pawny, please.