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Ivana A. | Diary of Difference (1171 KP) rated Alfonso in Books
Aug 3, 2020
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Alfonso is a young man that has moved to Australia to find a better life. Through his story, we follow his feelings and search for purpose.
As a person that moved to another country to find a better life, I can understand Alfonso and I can relate to what he feels and thinks. Coming into another country can be extremely difficult, leaving your family and friends behind, knowing those relationships will never be the same again. Coming to terms with the fact that you will always be a foreigner and have trouble with people accepting you. Trying to make friends and get inside inner circles of people that have been together since high-school – yeah, good luck with that…
Given how I can relate to Alfonso’s situation, and the similarities I have with this character, I thought I would love this book. But I didn’t. Even though I could relate with him, I couldn’t agree with his perceptions and beliefs. Alfonso was always trying to find a girl to spend his life with. Which is normal and expected. However, instead of being his true and authentic self, he desperately tries to be as “less foreign” as possible and adapt to his audience. This is something that seemed to push the potential women away. Not to mention that he was being quite creepy at times (following a girl’s bus schedule and being there before she departs etc.)
Living in a new environment shouldn’t mean that people should stop being who they are and stop believing in what they do, or respecting and practicing the customs from the country they were born and raised from.
All my friends know that in my country we boil and colour actual eggs for Easter, rather than eat chocolate ones. In our home, me and my boyfriend celebrate two Christmases; one on the 25th December, where he does everything by his tradition, and one on 7th January, where I prepare everything in my tradition. And it works. And it’s double the fun and jolly spirit.
I couldn’t relate with the fact that Alfonso feels that he needs to change and adapt, and leave behind his culture. I also couldn’t comprehend the fact that he needs to have a woman to be happy. He couldn’t seem to find happiness with just himself. And maybe, this is again, part of the tradition. In my country, marriages and forming a family are very important, and this may have influenced Alfonso’s behaviour perhaps.
The most upsetting part about this book was that the book ended, and everything remained the same. No earnings, no character development, no closure. Just a bad vibe of negativity, that was lingering in the air and stayed with me for days, like a bad taste in my mouth that you cannot wash with brushing your teeth.
I am not sure how to properly rate “Alfonso”. It was relatable, but conflicting. Very understandable, but unsatisfactory. And I will be honest, I read books that will either make me feel good, or teach me something new (or both), but this book didn’t provide either…
<a href="https://amzn.to/2Wi7amb">Wishlist</a>; | <a
<a href="https://diaryofdifference.com/">Blog</a>; | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/diaryofdifference/">Facebook</a>; | <a href="https://twitter.com/DiaryDifference">Twitter</a>; | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/diaryofdifference/">Instagram</a>; | <a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/diaryofdifference/pins/">Pinterest</a>;
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<img src="https://i0.wp.com/diaryofdifference.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Book-Review-Banner-35.png?w=663&ssl=1"/>;
Alfonso is a young man that has moved to Australia to find a better life. Through his story, we follow his feelings and search for purpose.
As a person that moved to another country to find a better life, I can understand Alfonso and I can relate to what he feels and thinks. Coming into another country can be extremely difficult, leaving your family and friends behind, knowing those relationships will never be the same again. Coming to terms with the fact that you will always be a foreigner and have trouble with people accepting you. Trying to make friends and get inside inner circles of people that have been together since high-school – yeah, good luck with that…
Given how I can relate to Alfonso’s situation, and the similarities I have with this character, I thought I would love this book. But I didn’t. Even though I could relate with him, I couldn’t agree with his perceptions and beliefs. Alfonso was always trying to find a girl to spend his life with. Which is normal and expected. However, instead of being his true and authentic self, he desperately tries to be as “less foreign” as possible and adapt to his audience. This is something that seemed to push the potential women away. Not to mention that he was being quite creepy at times (following a girl’s bus schedule and being there before she departs etc.)
Living in a new environment shouldn’t mean that people should stop being who they are and stop believing in what they do, or respecting and practicing the customs from the country they were born and raised from.
All my friends know that in my country we boil and colour actual eggs for Easter, rather than eat chocolate ones. In our home, me and my boyfriend celebrate two Christmases; one on the 25th December, where he does everything by his tradition, and one on 7th January, where I prepare everything in my tradition. And it works. And it’s double the fun and jolly spirit.
I couldn’t relate with the fact that Alfonso feels that he needs to change and adapt, and leave behind his culture. I also couldn’t comprehend the fact that he needs to have a woman to be happy. He couldn’t seem to find happiness with just himself. And maybe, this is again, part of the tradition. In my country, marriages and forming a family are very important, and this may have influenced Alfonso’s behaviour perhaps.
The most upsetting part about this book was that the book ended, and everything remained the same. No earnings, no character development, no closure. Just a bad vibe of negativity, that was lingering in the air and stayed with me for days, like a bad taste in my mouth that you cannot wash with brushing your teeth.
I am not sure how to properly rate “Alfonso”. It was relatable, but conflicting. Very understandable, but unsatisfactory. And I will be honest, I read books that will either make me feel good, or teach me something new (or both), but this book didn’t provide either…
<a href="https://amzn.to/2Wi7amb">Wishlist</a>; | <a
<a href="https://diaryofdifference.com/">Blog</a>; | <a href="https://www.facebook.com/diaryofdifference/">Facebook</a>; | <a href="https://twitter.com/DiaryDifference">Twitter</a>; | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/diaryofdifference/">Instagram</a>; | <a href="https://www.pinterest.co.uk/diaryofdifference/pins/">Pinterest</a>;
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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Lady Bird (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
“What if this is the best version”.
When did you grow up? I am now 57, and I’m still “working towards”! I remember distinctly though at the age of 16 thinking “I’ve got there”. And then again at 18. And then again at 21. And then again at 25…. There is something sweet about the certainty of youth that only life’s ultimate experiences can roughen the edges of.
“Lady Bird”, the directorial debut of Greta Gerwig, features one such teen who thinks she knows it all. Looking and acting for all the world like a 15 year old (something that Margot Robbie really can’t pull off in “I, Tonya”) Saoirse Ronan plays Christine McPherson who has the given name (“I gave the name to myself”) of ‘Lady Bird’. She is struggling with a lot of issues: an unreasonable and overbearing (parents: read ‘perfectly reasonably but firm’) mother (Laurie Metcalf, “Roseanne”); the issues of puberty and young love; the constrictions of a Catholic school she despises; and her inability to perform to the grades she needs to get into a college of her choice. That choice being on the East coast as far away from the backwater of Sacremento (“the mid-west of California” – LoL) as she can get.
Love comes in the form of two serial male fixations: the gorgeous and artistic Danny (Lucas Hedges, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”, “Manchester By The Sea”) and the aloof and enigmatic Kyle (Timothée Chalamet, “Call Me By Your Name”).
This is a near perfect coming of age film. The plot, while fairly superficial and covering ground well-trodden before, fully engages you and makes the running time just fly by. And there is just so much talent on show. The script by Gerwig is chocker-block full of great and memorable lines; Ronan is pitch-perfect as the irascible and cock-sure teen; Tracy Letts (“The Post“) is magnificent in the less showy role as the “good cop” dad, struggling invisibly with his own demons; and Metcalf gives an Oscar-nominated performance that really should give Alison Janney a run for her money… a drive away from an airport conveys just perfectly every college-age parent’s emotional low-point.
Where perhaps the film overplays its hand a bit is in the “wrong side of the tracks” line. The household while struggling is by no means trailer-park poor (compare and contrast with “I, Tonya”): perhaps this is the depths of financial desperation found in Sacremento? But I doubt it… there still seems to be money available for fancy cowgirl outfits.
Which leads me to the rating, which seems to have been a common rant in the last few weeks. I would have thought that there was nothing like this film to turn the mirror of reasonableness on a young teen, perhaps helping them to treat their parents better, work harder for college or make better choices. Yet it has a UK 15 certificate. And for what? There is a full frontal male photo-spread in “Playgirl” (I want to say “it’s a penis, get over it”, but if forced I would have frankly just snipped the 50 milliseconds out to get the lower rating). And there are a few (only a few) F- and C- words. I have the same problem here as with “Phantom Thread” – here is a high-class film that a young teen audience would absolutely love to see. I think the BBFC have got it wrong again here.
I cannot recommend this film enough: a tale of teenage life love and resolution that is hard to beat. Possibly one of the best coming of age tales I’ve ever seen. On the basis that it looks like I will never get to see “Call Me By Your Name” – the only major one I’ve missed – before this Sunday’s Oscar ceremony, what a great way to round off my Oscar-viewing season.
“Lady Bird”, the directorial debut of Greta Gerwig, features one such teen who thinks she knows it all. Looking and acting for all the world like a 15 year old (something that Margot Robbie really can’t pull off in “I, Tonya”) Saoirse Ronan plays Christine McPherson who has the given name (“I gave the name to myself”) of ‘Lady Bird’. She is struggling with a lot of issues: an unreasonable and overbearing (parents: read ‘perfectly reasonably but firm’) mother (Laurie Metcalf, “Roseanne”); the issues of puberty and young love; the constrictions of a Catholic school she despises; and her inability to perform to the grades she needs to get into a college of her choice. That choice being on the East coast as far away from the backwater of Sacremento (“the mid-west of California” – LoL) as she can get.
Love comes in the form of two serial male fixations: the gorgeous and artistic Danny (Lucas Hedges, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”, “Manchester By The Sea”) and the aloof and enigmatic Kyle (Timothée Chalamet, “Call Me By Your Name”).
This is a near perfect coming of age film. The plot, while fairly superficial and covering ground well-trodden before, fully engages you and makes the running time just fly by. And there is just so much talent on show. The script by Gerwig is chocker-block full of great and memorable lines; Ronan is pitch-perfect as the irascible and cock-sure teen; Tracy Letts (“The Post“) is magnificent in the less showy role as the “good cop” dad, struggling invisibly with his own demons; and Metcalf gives an Oscar-nominated performance that really should give Alison Janney a run for her money… a drive away from an airport conveys just perfectly every college-age parent’s emotional low-point.
Where perhaps the film overplays its hand a bit is in the “wrong side of the tracks” line. The household while struggling is by no means trailer-park poor (compare and contrast with “I, Tonya”): perhaps this is the depths of financial desperation found in Sacremento? But I doubt it… there still seems to be money available for fancy cowgirl outfits.
Which leads me to the rating, which seems to have been a common rant in the last few weeks. I would have thought that there was nothing like this film to turn the mirror of reasonableness on a young teen, perhaps helping them to treat their parents better, work harder for college or make better choices. Yet it has a UK 15 certificate. And for what? There is a full frontal male photo-spread in “Playgirl” (I want to say “it’s a penis, get over it”, but if forced I would have frankly just snipped the 50 milliseconds out to get the lower rating). And there are a few (only a few) F- and C- words. I have the same problem here as with “Phantom Thread” – here is a high-class film that a young teen audience would absolutely love to see. I think the BBFC have got it wrong again here.
I cannot recommend this film enough: a tale of teenage life love and resolution that is hard to beat. Possibly one of the best coming of age tales I’ve ever seen. On the basis that it looks like I will never get to see “Call Me By Your Name” – the only major one I’ve missed – before this Sunday’s Oscar ceremony, what a great way to round off my Oscar-viewing season.
okletmereviewit (4 KP) rated Closet Monster (2016) in Movies
May 11, 2018
PTSD and Coming of Age and Out
This movie is an amazing tale of coming of age and coming to terms with ones own sexuality. This movie for being an Indie film portrays the inner dialogue and the inner turmoil of coming to terms with ones sexuality, as well as showing the hidden side of a broken home. The movie begins with young Oscar (Jack Fulton) and his father tucking him into bed and their nightly rituals of his father (Aaron Abrams) "giving him a dream".
In the next scene you see Oscar and mother (Joanne Kelly) and father giving him a present of a Hamster, and then his father declaring that Oscars mother is leaving them. You then see Oscar in his room with the hamster, who begins "talking" to Oscar (voiced by Isabella Rossellini) and names herself "Buffy" (as in Buffy the Vampire Slayer) but the voice is an inner monologue that Oscar creates for the critter and is a comforting mechanism for him, as throughout the movie you gain the feeling that Oscar only has one friend, Gemma (Sofia Banzhaf).
The PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) comes in when while coming home from school one day, Oscar notices a group of kids bullying another student. He follows them to a secluded cemetery where they see them beating the kids and sodomizing him with a piece of re-bar. Later that night Oscar and his dad are watching the News coverage of the situation and Oscars asks his dad why they did that and the father said "because he was gay" and makes a side reference to Oscars long shaggy hair. To which Oscar being scared cuts his hair himself.
Skip forward: Now Oscar as a teen (Connor Jessup) is taking pictures of Gemma for his portfolio for admissions into college. We also see that the now 18yr old Oscar is now working in a general hardware store who is ran by Allison (Mary Walsh) who teaches him the basics of greeting customers and how to help them make selections, etc. After his shift while in the employee locker room a strapping young man named Wilder (Aliocha Schneider) checks his locker for his employee uniform and realizes that it is not there and asks to borrow Oscars shirt. This is the first time that we witness Oscar's sexual preference, when Wilder takes off his shirt and puts on Oscars shirt. Oscar longingly looks at the finely toned body of Wilder.
Later the next day Wilder gives Oscar his shirt back before work, and says thanks. You then see Oscar smelling the shirt to see if it was "ok" to wear. And then he rushes into the restroom with the shirt and begins touching himself and fantasizing about Wilder, and then has a flash of the students sodomizing that other student when he was a kid.
Slowly Oscar and Wilder begin a friendship and get closer. As Oscar and Gemma seem to grow apart. Things at home take a turn for the worse as Oscars father begins seeing a woman, and Oscar becomes more frustrated with himself, work, life and everything between. It finally escalates into a fight with his father that leaves Oscar physically assaulting his dad, and running away to a party that Wilder had invited him to.
At the party he finds Wilder and his friends, and they take Oscar to a room and put together a costume for him to wear for the party. Wilders friends take some Ecstasy and begin to really party it up. Gemma runs into Oscar and realizes that he is high and Oscar excuses himself as he notices that Wilder is talking to some girls. A guy approaches Oscar and begins hitting on him, and Oscar who was holding out for Wilder notices that he is kissing a girl. So Oscar and the guy make their way into the bathroom where they begin to kiss and have sex. In the midst of it Oscar begins to have flash backs of the beaten boy in the cemetery and freaks out, vomits and passes out.
We then see Wilder waking him up and helping him home. Oscar and Wilder spend the night together in Oscars tree house. Oscar and Wilder begin talking about the escapades of the night and things turn to sexuality when Oscar mistakes Wilders reaching for a bottle of water as him wanting to kiss. Embarrassed, Oscar asks him to leave, and they begin to talk about it, and then Wilder kisses him. In the morning you see Oscar wake up and find a note from Wilder basically saying "See you later gotta run" and you are not sure if the two had slept together or not. Oscar sneaks back into his room only to find that everything had been destroyed by his father.
The next scene you see his mother and father fighting as Oscar is looking through whats left of his possessions that are scattered throughout the drive way. Oscar sees his beloved Buffy laying dead in her cage. Enraged by this, Oscar comes to terms with his sexuality and breaks something of his fathers and then moves in with his mother. The movie ends with Oscar moving to a small house near the beach. Leaving you wondering how much time had passed or if he was in a school or what was going on.
But throughout the whole of the movie. The sexuality is done in a very muted and respectable manner. There is some cussing and things like that but over all very tastefully done. If you are a lover of coming to age films or films dealing with the nature of coming out, then you are sure to love this movie.
In the next scene you see Oscar and mother (Joanne Kelly) and father giving him a present of a Hamster, and then his father declaring that Oscars mother is leaving them. You then see Oscar in his room with the hamster, who begins "talking" to Oscar (voiced by Isabella Rossellini) and names herself "Buffy" (as in Buffy the Vampire Slayer) but the voice is an inner monologue that Oscar creates for the critter and is a comforting mechanism for him, as throughout the movie you gain the feeling that Oscar only has one friend, Gemma (Sofia Banzhaf).
The PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) comes in when while coming home from school one day, Oscar notices a group of kids bullying another student. He follows them to a secluded cemetery where they see them beating the kids and sodomizing him with a piece of re-bar. Later that night Oscar and his dad are watching the News coverage of the situation and Oscars asks his dad why they did that and the father said "because he was gay" and makes a side reference to Oscars long shaggy hair. To which Oscar being scared cuts his hair himself.
Skip forward: Now Oscar as a teen (Connor Jessup) is taking pictures of Gemma for his portfolio for admissions into college. We also see that the now 18yr old Oscar is now working in a general hardware store who is ran by Allison (Mary Walsh) who teaches him the basics of greeting customers and how to help them make selections, etc. After his shift while in the employee locker room a strapping young man named Wilder (Aliocha Schneider) checks his locker for his employee uniform and realizes that it is not there and asks to borrow Oscars shirt. This is the first time that we witness Oscar's sexual preference, when Wilder takes off his shirt and puts on Oscars shirt. Oscar longingly looks at the finely toned body of Wilder.
Later the next day Wilder gives Oscar his shirt back before work, and says thanks. You then see Oscar smelling the shirt to see if it was "ok" to wear. And then he rushes into the restroom with the shirt and begins touching himself and fantasizing about Wilder, and then has a flash of the students sodomizing that other student when he was a kid.
Slowly Oscar and Wilder begin a friendship and get closer. As Oscar and Gemma seem to grow apart. Things at home take a turn for the worse as Oscars father begins seeing a woman, and Oscar becomes more frustrated with himself, work, life and everything between. It finally escalates into a fight with his father that leaves Oscar physically assaulting his dad, and running away to a party that Wilder had invited him to.
At the party he finds Wilder and his friends, and they take Oscar to a room and put together a costume for him to wear for the party. Wilders friends take some Ecstasy and begin to really party it up. Gemma runs into Oscar and realizes that he is high and Oscar excuses himself as he notices that Wilder is talking to some girls. A guy approaches Oscar and begins hitting on him, and Oscar who was holding out for Wilder notices that he is kissing a girl. So Oscar and the guy make their way into the bathroom where they begin to kiss and have sex. In the midst of it Oscar begins to have flash backs of the beaten boy in the cemetery and freaks out, vomits and passes out.
We then see Wilder waking him up and helping him home. Oscar and Wilder spend the night together in Oscars tree house. Oscar and Wilder begin talking about the escapades of the night and things turn to sexuality when Oscar mistakes Wilders reaching for a bottle of water as him wanting to kiss. Embarrassed, Oscar asks him to leave, and they begin to talk about it, and then Wilder kisses him. In the morning you see Oscar wake up and find a note from Wilder basically saying "See you later gotta run" and you are not sure if the two had slept together or not. Oscar sneaks back into his room only to find that everything had been destroyed by his father.
The next scene you see his mother and father fighting as Oscar is looking through whats left of his possessions that are scattered throughout the drive way. Oscar sees his beloved Buffy laying dead in her cage. Enraged by this, Oscar comes to terms with his sexuality and breaks something of his fathers and then moves in with his mother. The movie ends with Oscar moving to a small house near the beach. Leaving you wondering how much time had passed or if he was in a school or what was going on.
But throughout the whole of the movie. The sexuality is done in a very muted and respectable manner. There is some cussing and things like that but over all very tastefully done. If you are a lover of coming to age films or films dealing with the nature of coming out, then you are sure to love this movie.