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The Meg (2018)
The Meg (2018)
2018 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Jurassic Shark
Ah the shark attack movie. A genre that has over the years changed itself from impactful horror suspense thriller to cheesy, throwaway popcorn entertainment. Apart from when Steven Spielberg changed cinema forever with his 1975 masterpiece, Jaws, audiences have been given few treats in the decades that followed.

Deep Blue Sea was a tasteful homage to its forbearer, but even that was riddled in cliché and was much more of a brain-numbing creature feature than Jaws was. And then came Sharknado and its raft of dreadfully titled sequels. Look back through cinema history and you’ll see that sharks are big business in Hollywood.

Now, as we enter the final stages of 2018, Jason Statham stars in perhaps the most preposterous shark movie yet, yes, even more preposterous than Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! But sometimes preposterous can be fun. Is that the case here?

A massive creature attacks a deep-sea submersible, leaving it disabled and trapping the crew at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. With time running out, rescue diver Jonas Taylor (Statham) must save the crew and the ocean itself from an unimaginable threat – a 75-foot-long prehistoric shark known as the Megalodon.

Jon Turteltaub, who directed delicacies like National Treasure and Cool Runnings takes to The Meg like, well a duck to water. It’s filled with tantalising action sequences and Jason Statham spouting marine biology jargon including a scene in which the Hollywood star is shirtless whilst spouting marine biology jargon. What more could you want?

Quite a bit as it happens. Despite a solid opening act that sets up the dark humour of the film nicely, The Meg is a bit of a bore. Populated by bland characters, uninspiring CGI and plot holes so big they’d make the Marianas trench blush. It’s all a bit of a mess to be honest.

The Meg is one of a new breed of Hollywood blockbusters that has been made to pander to the new Chinese audience and while this has worked well for other high-budget movies like Pacific Rim, it doesn’t work quite as well here. Li Bingbing stars as marine biologist Suyin Zhang and whilst she performs well in her native tongue, her English-spoken scenes are stilted and lack any depth of emotion whatsoever.

In fact, outside of Statham, the rest of the cast are complete non-entities. Rainn Wilson provides some comic relief as a financial investor, but it’s all very B-movie and clearly not in the way it was intended. You see, when you know you have a ridiculous premise, the best thing to do is run with it and create the most insanely bizarre film in existence. Unfortunately, The Meg takes itself far too seriously and this makes it feel much longer than its running time would suggest. They could’ve gotten away with calling it ‘Jason Statham Shark Movie’ as that’ pretty much the premise in a nutshell.

It’s occasionally fun and could have been smashing fun, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib
At a cost just shy of $200million, you’d expect to have Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom levels of special effects. They actually cost around the same to produce. In truth, The Meg can’t hold a candle to its land-based prehistoric cousin. The CGI is passable at best and really dreadful at worst and this is a real shame. When the main selling point of your film is a 75-foot shark, you really need to get it spot on.

Besides a couple of cool shots, one of which is the featured image for this particular review (see the image at the top of the header banner), the cinematography is absolutely uninspired.

When you have a film that features so much ocean, there are a multitude of amazing things you could achieve with the shot choices. Unfortunately, none of them have been realised here.

Elsewhere, there is something a little more sinister afoot. Sharks already get a seriously bad reputation and this film does nothing to quash that. With many species now unfortunately endangered, films like The Meg could do more harm than good. It portrays all sharks as merciless killers – proficient and deadly. If it did want to be a serious shark attack flick, it should have relied less on goofy comedy and more on raising awareness for the creatures.

We’ve now had three ‘creature feature’ films thus far into 2018. Starting with Rampage earlier in the year, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in June and now The Meg, and whilst each of them brings something unique to the table, The Meg sinks to the bottom of the seafloor. It’s occasionally fun and could have been smashing fun, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib. The Meg is a shark movie without any bite.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2018/08/11/the-meg-review-jurassic-shark/
  
Despicable Me 3 (2017)
Despicable Me 3 (2017)
2017 | Animation, Comedy
Minions! In short bursts (0 more)
The pointless subplots (0 more)
Time to stop making these now
The original Despicable Me is a firm favourite in our house. If we come across it while channel hopping, it usually stays on until the end and still manages to raise plenty of laughs. The second Despicable Me was OK, but not very memorable. The Minions movie was a train wreck, and proved that they’re at their best when in short bursts and as part of someone else’s movie. And now we have a third Despicable Me, which continues the trend set by the second of just being OK, but now with the added feeling that they really should stop making these.

A news report introduces us to 80s TV child star Balthazar Bratt. After a successful run of his own TV show, things went badly wrong for Balthazar when puberty hit and the squeaky voice and zits resulted in Hollywood ditching his show. Balthazar disappeared from the public eye and the report then asks the question ‘where is he now?’. Cut to the ocean, and a diamond heist on a ship which, if you’ve seen the relevant trailer, means you’ve pretty much seen the entire scene. Balthazar uses bubblegum as a weapon, along with a keytar, and enjoys tackling his enemies with 80s inspired dance fights. The scene ends with Gru, naked and caught up in the bubblegum, embarrassing himself as he floats through the city for all to see while a couple of minions enjoy themselves at a beach party. Yep, pretty much the whole original trailer has just played for us.

Gru and Lucy both find themselves sacked from the Anti-Villain league for failing to capture Balthazar during the heist but they don’t have long to think about what to do next before Gru discovers that he has a twin brother called Dru, that he knew nothing about. Dru got to live with his dad while Gru got to live with his mum following their parents split. They all then head off to Freedonia for a family reunion.

The rest of the movie is pretty much a big mess, with far too many dull and pointless subplots. The main story involves the two brothers, getting to know each other and eventually teaming up to recover the diamond from Balthazar once again and to finally capture him. But this is all at the expense of pretty much every other character in the movie. The Minions have already gone off on their own subplot, having left Gru to go in search of a more villain-like life. Ending up in jail, they soon decide that they miss Gru, so break out in order to try and get back to him in time for the end of the movie. And as for the girls – Agnes is on the hunt for a unicorn, because a bloke in the pub said there was one in the woods, Margo is trying to avoid a local boy who has a crush on her and Edith just doesn’t really feature very much at all. And after briefly helping Gru out at the start of the movie, the main focus for Lucy throughout the rest of the movie is to try and be accepted as a mum to the three girls.

The final act, with the brothers working together to stop Balthazar from getting his revenge and making a big mess in Hollywood, is fairly entertaining, and the Minions still manage to raise big laughs in pretty much every scene they feature, but overall this was pretty disappointing.
  
Ghost in the Shell (2017)
Ghost in the Shell (2017)
2017 | Action, Drama, Sci-Fi
Turning the beloved Ghost in the Shell manga franchise into a Hollywood film that’ll please picky Western audiences was always going to be a tough job for director Rupert Sanders (Snow White & the Huntsman).

Casting the central lead, The Major, proved even more difficult. When Scarlett Johansson’s name was attached to play the role, Hollywood was once again accused of white-washing, a tag lobbied at Gods of Egypt last year. The finished product is now in cinemas around the globe, but is it the disaster many predicted?

In the near future, Major (Scarlett Johansson) is the first of her kind: a human who has been cyber-enhanced to create a perfect soldier devoted to stopping the world’s most dangerous criminals. When terrorism reaches a new level that includes the ability to hack into people’s minds and control them, Major is uniquely qualified to stop it. As she prepares to face a new enemy, Major finds truths about her past that changes her view on the world forever.

The greatest accolade that can be given to Ghost in the Shell is that its pre-release detractors haven’t stopped people from going to see it. The cinema was busy on its opening night, with many itching to see how such a universally loved manga could be fine-tuned for a Western palate.

Visually; the film is absolutely stunning and is best viewed on the biggest screen possible. Each frame is dripping with detail and the naturally heavy use of CGI doesn’t detract from creating a vibrant metropolis that feels every bit alive.

The story is simple to follow and easy to enjoy. It’s exciting, emotional and boosted by a fine, if slightly uninspiring performance from Johansson. The rest of the cast can also be described as fine, with only Juliette Binoche’s mother-like Dr. Ouélet creating any sort of lasting impact.

And this is Ghost in the Shell’s fundamental weakness. Outside of Binoche, the rest of the cast are largely forgettable and that’s a real shame considering the characters in its excellent source material were, for want of a better word, magical. Even the villain is devoid any sort of tyranny.

Thankfully though, the impressive set design and well-choreographed action sequences mask the disappointing array of characters well and steamroll this thrilling adventure to a very satisfying conclusion. It’s also accompanied by a gorgeous soundtrack by Clint Mansell and Lorne Balfe that compliments the futuristic nature of the film beautifully.

Sitting in the theatre, it felt at times like I was watching an updated version of Total Recall, and that’s no bad thing. Comparing it to a cult classic is probably what director Rupert Sanders was trying to achieve and despite its poor characters, Ghost in the Shell has every opportunity to succeed as a film we look back on in 30 years and think “hey, that’s actually pretty good”.

Overall, Ghost in the Shell is one hell of a good-looking film. Couple this with impressive special effects and a rollercoaster ride of a story and you have a big screen experience that’s great for 106 minutes, but probably won’t have any lasting impact once the end credits roll.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/03/31/not-without-its-faults-ghost-in-the-shell-review/
  
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
2017 | Action, Sci-Fi
Beauty and the Beast
The fact that Legendary Pictures are busying themselves with an epic Godzilla vs King Kong showdown is one of the worst kept secrets in Hollywood. Naturally, this presented a problem for Peter Jackson’s Kong who simply doesn’t measure up against the giant lizard in 2013’s Godzilla.

And in Hollywood, size really does matter; therefore the monstrous ape has been given a monumental upgrade featuring an all-star cast and some serious talent behind the camera. But is Kong: Skull Island as bananas as its trailers would suggest? Or are we looking at something a little more mainstream?

At the climax of the Vietnam War, a team of explorers and mercenaries head to an unchartered island in the South Pacific in an effort to document its inhabitants. Little do they know they are crossing into the domain of vicious man-eating monsters and the legendary Kong.

With a cast that includes Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, John Goodman, Samuel L Jackson and John C Reilly, you’d be forgiven for thinking everything is hunky dory over on Skull Island, but this spectacular film isn’t without its flaws. A lack of character development and a severe tonal imbalance mean it’s a beautiful near miss that thankfully manages to pull itself up from a crash landing.
 
Jordan Vogt-Roberts in his first big budget feature directs a film that is absolutely staggering to watch, with stunning cinematography and exceptionally well-choreographed battles between the gigantic ape and his many adversaries. Giving indie directors the chance to work with big studios to produce blockbusters is something that seems incredibly popular at the moment.

After all, Gareth Edwards took up the challenge of rebooting Godzilla in 2013 with stunning results and Colin Trevorrow was entrusted by Steven Spielberg to rekindle the public’s love affair with Jurassic Park back in 2015 and that worked a treat too.

Here, Vogt-Roberts utilises both of those franchises to great effect, even managing to shoehorn a tasteful reference to Samuel L Jackson’s Jurassic Park character, Ray Arnold. Elsewhere, though, the film falls a little flat. The constant switch in tone from comedy to action leaves a sour taste in the mouth, though John C Reilly’s stranded pilot is a pleasure to watch and lightens up proceedings.

Tom Hiddleston does well in the leading role, though as an SAS operative, he feels a little miscast and Samuel L Jackson’s Preston Packard is immensely dislikeable and his gripe with Kong is forced. It creates a subplot that doesn’t really need to be there.

The special effects, however, are top notch, helped by the splendid cinematography. The gorgeous sunsets and sweeping tropical landscapes have a whiff of Apocalypse Now and the misty terrain brings back memories of Jurassic Park’s first sequel, The Lost World.

Overall, Kong: Skull Island is a stunning film filled to the brim with colour, charming effects and great performances. However, it is a little light on character development and that tone issue is frustrating at times, but as a precursor to a mighty monster battle, it does a fine job in continuing the franchise and setting its future.

Leaving the cinema, though, I was left with a concern for when the two behemoths, Godzilla and Kong, finally meet. Each film has given their respective creature a ‘personality’, and if one of them must inevitably die, who on earth do you choose to perish?

https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/03/10/beauty-and-the-beast-kong-skull-island-review/
  
Once Upon A Deadpool (Deadpool 2 PG-13 Version) (2018)
Once Upon A Deadpool (Deadpool 2 PG-13 Version) (2018)
2018 | Action, Family
Taking what was old making it new again as long been criticism that is been levied against Hollywood. With abundance equals flooding the theaters as well as reboots; people often cynically ask if Hollywood has run out of new ideas. The latest film to fall under these criteria would be “Once Upon A Deadpool” where audiences are presented with a sanitized version of “Deadpool 2” accompanied by approximately 11 min. worth of new footage at the beginning and spread throughout.

The PG-13 take on what was definitely a very “R” rated film is been met with skeptics who see this as a sign of the pending Disney acquisition of Fox to test the waters to see if audiences will accept a more subdued take on the hero us paving the way for future adventures to be the more box office friendly “PG-13″.

The film cleverly opens with Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds), having kidnapped or as he likes to refer to it” involuntary relocation assistance”; Fred Savage as he attempts to re-create the opening of “The Princess Bride” and reads to him a family-friendlier version of “Deadpool 2”.

The film plays out as it did earlier this summer safe for much of the language being removed and use of pixels and cutaways to remove objectionable or an adult content to preserve the “PG-13” rating. What makes it enjoyable are the new seems where Reynolds and Savage exchange banter and debate topics ranging from Nickelback to the pending Disney acquisition of Fox.
I found myself looking forward to the next cutaway to hear what comments would be coming next including a very clever discussion of possible outcomes of Deadpool’s regenerative properties; and how they were not explored in the film due to “lazy writing”.

For me it was mostly a mixed bag as I enjoyed seeing the new footage as any new Deadpool content is always a treat and Reynolds seem to be having a great time returning to the character in an abbreviated fashion.

While the film basically played out as before; I found a sanitized version to not be as appealing simply because one of the joys of the character and the series is not knowing what will come next. How far will a joke be taken, how much Gore is going to be used for comedic effect, what invented a new profanity is going to spew from Deadpool? Much of this is been taken away to what I believe is a detriment to the franchise. One of the joys about the films is that the wise comments come at the audience and a rapid-fire approach. This makes you want to see the film again in order to catch what you witnessed previously. It felt like I was being deprived of this opportunity because while in many ways it was the same film, much of the adage that made the film stand out has been subdued.
While it is great that younger audiences will have an opportunity to experience the character; those of us who’ve seen him and his full uncensored glory will undoubtedly feel that this is a direction that should not be pursued for the future and that audiences want and deserve a fully uncensored Deadpool.

However for a little bit of family fun and a cute new laughs; “Once Upon A Deadpool”, is a pleasant enough distraction.

http://sknr.net/2018/12/12/once-upon-a-deadpool/
  
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The Meg (2018)
The Meg (2018)
2018 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Fins ain’t what they used to be.
OK, OK, so I must be about the last person in the country – at least, those who want to see this at the cinema – who actually has! Maybe its something about the summer slipping into autumn that made me crave for one last summer blockbuster hoorah! In any case, I feel like a bit of a traitor, since I was very scathing about this film’s trailer when it came out. But – do you know – as a brainless piece of popcorn entertainment, I quite enjoyed it!

Jason Statham – the unthinking man’s Dwayne Johnson – plays our hero Jonas Taylor. (Jonas? Surely some sly joke?). Jonas is drinking his life away in Thailand after being traumatised by an underwater rescue mission in which he was 90% successful. (Yeah, I know. Bloody perfectionists. Hate ’em). But he is needed again, since his cute ex-wife Lori (Jessica McNamee) is stuck at the bottom of the sea being terrorised by a terrifying creature: no, not Spongebob Square Pants… the titular prehistoric shark.

Lori is working at an undersea research station – Mana One – off the coast of China, funded by the annoyingly brash billionaire Morris (Rainn Wilson, from “The Office”), who you just HOPE HOPE HOPE will get munched at some point!

Running the station (in the most shameless Hollywood/Chinese market crossover since “The Great Wall“) is Zhang (Winston Chao) assisted by his cute daughter Suyin (played by the gloriously named and very talented Bingbing Li) and his even cuter granddaughter Meiying (Sophia Cai). The race is on to use their brains and Taylor’s brawn to stop the monster from reaching the seaside resort of Sanya Bay for lunch.

The action is, of course, absurd with so many near misses for Jonas from gnashing teeth that he could be The Meg’s registered dentist. There is a really nice dynamic though built up between Jonas, his potential cross-cultural love interest Suyin and young Meiying. Suyin is a classic TimesUp heroine for 2018, with an assertive f***-you attitude and not remotely giving an inch to Statham’s hero.

But it’s young Sophia as Meying who really steals lines and steals hearts with a truly charming performance, and would get my ‘man of the match’ were it not for…

…research assistant Jaxx (Australian model, Ruby Rose). She has an absolutely extraordinary look in this film. Chiselled and tattooed, she literally looks like she has stepped out of a Final Fantasy video game… and acts well too: the complete package.

As referenced above, the Hollywood/Chinese crossover is quite striking in this film, with the Chinese beach location looking like Amity Island on crack! (Cue the overweight Chinese kid as the Jaws “Alex” replacement… who knew China had a child obesity issue too… and that they also have ‘Zoom’ ice lollies!) Unusually for a mainstream Western film, a significant number of lines in the film are in Chinese with English subtitles.

In the league table of shark movies, it is far nearer to “Deep Blue Sea” than it is to “Jaws”, the reigning league champion, and all are far in excess of the ridiculous “Sharknado”. But compared to “Deep Blue Sea”, and even compared to “Jaws” – now, astonishingly, 43 years old! – it’s a curiously bloodless concoction, presumably to guarantee it’s 12A certificate. I have seen far bloodier and more violent 12A’s, and if anything I think director Jon Turteltaub (“National Treasure”) rather overdid the sanitisation.

It’s not going to win many gongs at the Oscars, but it is a slice of movie fun nonetheless.
  
Paths of Glory (1957)
Paths of Glory (1957)
1957 | Classics, Drama, War
Early Kubrick Masterpiece
Dore Schary, then head of production of MGM, like Stanley Kubrick’s first film, THE KILLING (1956) so he hired Kubrick to develop film stories from the studios pile of scripts and purchased novels. Finding nothing the he liked, Kubrick remembered reading Humprhey Cobb’s anti-war novel PATHS OF GLORY and suggested that. Schary (like every other studio exec in Hollywood at the time) turned down the opportunity to make this bleak anti-war film.

When Schary was fired by MGM, Kubrick went to Kirk Douglas (who liked THE KILLING as well and was anxious to work with Kubrick). Using his clout as one of the Major Stars of Hollywood at the time, Douglas got United Artists to agree to make the picture.

Starring Douglas, PATHS OF GLORY tells the WWI tale of a group of soldiers who mutiny when asked to take on a suicide mission to take the impregnable “ANTHILL”.

In this film, Kubrick starts to come into his own as a unique and visionary filmmaker who would insist on take after take until he got the exact shot he was looking for.

The highlight of the film is the 5 minute tracking shot of the troops attacking the Anthill, a tracking shot that films such as SAVING PRIVATE RYAN and 1917 owe a debt to. It is a masterclass of filmmaking from Kubrick.

As for Douglas – who was also used to having complete control of his films – PATHS OF GLORY was a battle of wills between Kubrick and Douglas with each man coming out on top (at times)…to the betterment of the film.

On the acting front, Douglas has never been better as the Commander of the unit that has the mutiny and who decides to defend the soldiers who are on trial for mutiny and cowardice and who quickly realizes that the trial is a sham and that there is no way for him these soldiers to get a fair trial.

Adolph Menjou (the 1937 version of A STAR IS BORN) and George Macready (GILDA) are appropriately blustery and out-of-touch as the Senior Officers who give (and then defend) their impossible orders. Richard Anderson (Oscar in the SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN) is slimey and slippery as the prosecuting attorney (who knows that the outcome of the trial is a done-deal) while Ralph Meeker (THE DIRTY DOZEN), Joe Turkel (the bartender in THE SHINING) and Timothy Carey (who famously clashed with Kubrick during filming in a calculated attempt to get some publicity for himself and was subsequently fired from the film) are the unfortunate 3 who are put on trial as representatives of their troops while the outstanding performance in this film is fomer child actor Wayne Morris (KID GALAHAD) as drunken Lt. Roget.

Even though this film is about ½ war battle film and ½ a court-room drama, it is the visuals of the folly of war that will stick with the audience long after it is over…and stick with it it does as this film was selected for preservation in the United States Film Registry in 1992 and is still listed in IMDB’s TOP 100 Rated films.

Letter Grade A-
8 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)