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Ninja Assassin (2009)
Ninja Assassin (2009)
2009 | Action, Drama
Bland Characters Equals Meh Movie
A former member of a sect of secret ninjas escapes the clan, but has to fight for his life when the past catches up to him.

Acting: 4
I have seen paper bags act better than Rain the actor who plays main character Raizo. I think the screenwriters knew this and tried to mask his lack of chops with less lines, but it definitely didn’t work. He is as bland as the chicken I feed my dog when he has diarrhea. The rest of the crew isn’t terribly better and aren’t worth much of a mention.

Beginning: 10
The movie actually gets off to a great start. It starts off in a gangster hideout and an old man is giving one of the gangsters a tattoo. A letter shows up with black sand in it. Black sand is basically the kiss of death for these ninjas so it’s not too long after that bedlam ensues. Dope scene, got me excited to watch more.

Characters: 2

Cinematography/Visuals: 8

Conflict: 10
The action was also a plus. The beginning is definitely an indicator of things to come. You want crazy martial fighting? Check. Blood and gore? Blamo! Insane slowmo sequences? Coming right up. This is basically an action junkie’s wet dream. Actually, I think I’m giving it too much credit…

Entertainment Value: 7

Memorability: 7

Pace: 7
While I appreciate certain things like at least making an attempt at a backstory, there were other portions that slowed the movie down in a couple of spots. Like seriously, how much training do we need to see this dude do? A few rounds on the good ole speed bag will suffice for me, thanks. Nope, this dude is doing splits, using ninja swords, fighting air. I also thought they spent a bit too much time on the main detective Mika (Naomie Harris) researching the ninjas. Pretty painful, but mostly fine.

Plot: 8
I didn’t hate the story. As I mentioned above, it was cool that you got a look into Raizo’s earlier life in the ninja clan and what got him to where he was. Crappy character, but I appreciated the effort to develop him. While the story got sidetracked here and there, it got you from Point A to Point B fairly smoothly.

Resolution: 6

Overall: 69
What disappoints me most about Ninja Assassin is the sheer amount of potential it had. Because it didn’t invest in quality actors or working in characters we care about, there is little margin for error in the rest of the movie. It wants to be likable, yet it didn’t put in the work to earn your friendship. I do not recommend.
  
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Dean (6925 KP) Dec 2, 2019

Bit surprised you give a 7 to a film you don't recommend? Could understand if it was a 5. A 7 is a good rating.

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Phillip McSween (751 KP) Dec 3, 2019 (Updated Dec 3, 2019)

Ninja Assassin falls in that weird "in-between" world for me. It's not a great movie...yet it has flashes of goodness. I even mention its "potential" in my closing. Typically I round up when I score something in the 65-69 range since there are no decimal offerings on Smashbomb.

MC
Merlin's Children
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
First off, allow me to commend Megan for making it past what I would call the Snowpocalyspse level, in which case the weather was nastily for a week in early January. I'm sure that says a lot, and that was not sarcasm whatsoever.

     Merlin's Children starts off pretty much exactly where Taliesin Ascendant left off, and we finally get answers from the prologue of Book 1.

     Or maybe I just now realized the answer to the question and it was in my face the entire time. *shrugs* I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter since as long as the question is answered, then it's all good.

     I still have to applaud the author for continuing to be practically flawless in grammar/spelling (I make it a point to mention these things :p).

     But I do find it really weird that the characters seem to draw their eyebrows downward a lot. I'm not sure if it's possible or I'm just those peeps who can only raise my eyebrows, but each time it was mentioned, I was pretty tempted to run into the bathroom, stare at the mirror and see if it was possible.

     My mother would have thought I was insane if she saw me so I didn't do it.

     HEY! HERE'S A POSSIBLE HUGE SPOILER! I sort of wanted what happened to Jamison to be something else. Maybe because I was thinking of what I read about the Nikita finale in TV Guide, in which I sorrily missed. -_- I am glad that some of the characters from the very first book return though. ^_^

     On a final note, Megan has upped her game a bit compared to the last 2 books (yes, I'm staring at the raw ratings for the series). It's more fast paced, has more action and if anything, I sort of have a short attention span. A semi one, since I can tolerate SOME boring books to the end. :D But then the review turns out bad. I think that was irrelevant.

     For some reason, I keep reading Ermengarde's name as "Er Ma Gawd" so I ended up reading "so and so and Ermagawd..." every so often. That might actually be how the name is pronounced, but I'm honestly not sure so I'll just call her OMG. :D

     Another thing irrelevant I suppose.
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Original Rating: 4.5
Review copy provided by the author for review
Formatting has been lost due to copy and paste.
This review and more can be found at <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/02/review-merlins-children-by-megan-joel-peterson.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
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The Vanishing Season
The Vanishing Season
Joanna Schaffhausen | 2017 | Crime, Thriller
8
8.8 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
Ellery Hathaway is the only female police officer in Woodbury, Massachusetts. She's also the only one on the force who believes Woodbury has a serial killer--one who is picking off people every July. Ellery was once Abby Hathaway, who was kidnapped at fourteen in a very famous case: she was the seventeenth victim of serial killer Francis Coben. And the only one who lived. Now Ellery is convinced these people in Woodbury--who are going missing around her birthday--are tied to her own incident. So she calls the only person she can think of: Reed Markham, the FBI agent who rescued her from the Coben's closet all those years ago. But Reed is battling his own issues. While Ellery's case--and the subsequent book he wrote--made him famous, he's on forced leave after messing up an investigation, and his wife has kicked him out. His most famous moment revolves around Ellery, but did he truly save her? And now they both are about to be sucked back into the case.

Wow, what an excellent start to a series! I loved this book and was drawn immediately to Ellery ("Ellie") and Reed! They are a dynamic duo, with a truly complicated history, and this was a compelling page-turner from the beginning. Schaffhausen has an easy writing style that brings Ellie and Reed to life (along with Ellie's awesome hound dog "Bump"), and I sped through the book in a couple of hours.


"Ellie knew 'touched' could mean gifted or insane. Maybe she was both. But she wasn't wrong, and if anyone out there was ever going to believe her, it was Reed Markham. Because he'd been touched once too."


The story is a dynamic one, tying back to Ellie's original kidnapping, but working in present-day disappearances in the town where she's escaped. Ellie is desperately trying to start over: no one on her police force knows about her old life. (This is the one thing that seems a little crazy--how did that background check fly? And how does she get so far along in these new cases without spilling the beans?)

Still, I'm willing to overlook it, because this is a captivating dark read that keeps you guessing. I figured out a few things here and there, but it in no way diminished my interest. The dynamics between Ellie and Reed are sizzling, and the twists and turns exciting. I love a good mystery/police procedural, and this one did not disappoint. It's deep and creepy, with a powerful lead female character, and I cannot wait to read the next two books! (I finished this book three days ago, and I'm already in the middle of the third book, just to illustrate how much I enjoy this series!) 4 stars.
  
Sgt. Pepper&#039;s Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles
1967 | Pop, Psychedelic, Rock

"I lived a stone's throw from Penny Lane, and my sister had Beatles wallpaper, my brother had a plastic Beatles wig and Beatles cap, and they were older than me, and my auntie Kathleen - who was a bit of a ... swinging sixties... a Liver bird, put it that way - came to live with us and she brought with her Sgt. Pepper's. She would go and see concerts like Gene Pitney at the Liverpool Empire and things like that. She was quite an interesting woman - to me anyway - and was great fun. I had one of those portable record players like you did in the 1960s, and I would play this over and over again while staring at the Peter Blake/Jann Howarth record sleeve, which made a 3D collage, and asking people ""who's this?"" and ""who is this?"". I've said it before, it was a bit like Dorothy opening the door of the house once it's arrived in Munchkinland, and everything goes technicolour from the black and white-ness of 1960s Liverpool. It was like a portal into things like the Hollywood musicals that I'd been seeing on the Saturday morning at the pictures. My auntie Kath would say, ""Ooh I saw The Beatles in the Liverpool passport office getting a passport while I was getting mine"" and my mum would go, ""I knew Julia when she used to look like Lucille Ball and she used to strut down the street"", and so it was Beatles saturation, living in that particular part of town. 'She's Leaving Home' on that album was the first song that made me cry, which I think is quite an important moment in your life, when a piece of music makes you cry. It was just the sadness of the story of a girl leaving home. Then of course there was 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds', 'A Day In The Life' and all those odd string arrangements. There was also the Magical Mystery Tour double EP in gatefold technicolour glory and things like that. It was like an entry into a world that was distant yet very close as well. It made me want to learn the lyrics to sing along and I guess it was just very important to me in my journey of music appreciation. And if you had the measles or chicken pox, you were quarantined to my sister's bedroom, and it was like a TARDIS of 'John Paul George Ringo' and it would drive you absolutely insane, as it was all you could read: 'John Paul George Ringo John Paul George Ringo John Paul George Ringo' and their smiling happy faces. It was kind of great and yet torturous at the same time. Pop torture."

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Playing the Palace
Playing the Palace
Paul Rudnick | 2021 | Humor & Comedy, LGBTQ+, Romance
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Funny and sweet romantic comedy
Carter Ogden fantasized about the Prince of England growing up--who didn't? Openly gay Prince Edgar is handsome and easy to adore. When Carter meets Edgar through a work event, sparks fly. Before he knows it, it seems like the two are dating. But their relationship receives intense media scrutiny--and the disapproval of the Queen of England. Can they find a happily ever after when it seems like everything--and everyone--are against them?

"He was destined to become the king of England, and I was a nice Jewish boy from New Jersey; we both knew what we were supposed to be doing, but we were fighting it. When it came to emotional stability, neither of us had a prayer."

This is a cute and funny story overall. We have Carter, who is reeling from a breakup and does not feel worthy of love and then Edgar, who is scared to trust. It's not easy to be in a relationship when you're the Prince of England. As Edgar states, he's "a symbol and an institution." The two meet at the United Nations and there's definitely some insta-chemistry, but they are also pretty sweet together. You can't help but root for this pair.

"Because ever since I can remember, there's been only one unthinkable sin, and that was disgracing my family and my country, in any way. I was being held to a different standard, which I agreed with. I had one job: to represent the royal household and to make England proud, and I was a calamity."

The book is a little ping pong-ish in its highs and lows. Everything is good... and then it's not. Rinse and repeat. At times, it seems a little insane that Edgar and his family cannot trust Carter, yet you can understand how utterly crazy and invasive the British media is--we see it all the time. I would have liked to see the two communicate a bit more, but new relationships are hard.

The cast of characters in PALACE are wonderful--completely engaging. Carter's family and friends are adorable, especially his sister and aunt Miriam. They make you laugh and cry. There's an excellent vomiting scene with poor Carter that will have you cringing and chuckling. Parts of this story are just plain hilarious. But it's also serious in its look at finding love after loss, insight into homophobia, and seeking acceptance for yourself and your partner, no matter what kind of relationship you may be in.

Overall, this is a fast and fluffy romantic read that also offers a good take on acceptance. 3.5 stars.
  
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Armie Hammer recommended Apocalypse Now (1979) in Movies (curated)

 
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Apocalypse Now (1979)
1979 | Action, Drama, War

"That’s my plane movie. Like, I’ve got it stored on my phone, and if I absolutely just need to just be on a plane, I’ll just put on Apocalypse Now. The mania and craziness that Colonel Kurtz is supposed to represent, and what the jungle in Cambodia is supposed to represent — knowing, by watching documentaries and reading about it, that that mania was not only present, it was prominent on set as they filmed this. Just all of that together. The movie itself is incredible, but the knowing of the making of the film, and what happened when they were making that film, knowing all of that just makes it a much more comprehensive experience. When Colonel Kurtz talks about the horror, and you know what horror he’s talking about, you just feel like you are let in. You’re gifted an audience into true craziness. Every single character in that movie is bats–t insane, and it’s just a matter of how forward it is. So I mean, even Robert Duvall saying, “There’s nothing like the smell of napalm in the morning,” and then taking a pause from it and going, “You know, one day this war is going to be over.” You can just feel how sad he is about that, and how crazy that is. And then you move on to the othercharacters, and then when they get to that farthest checkpoint where the bridge keeps getting knocked down, and he’s like, “Who’s in charge?” And the guy’s like, “S–t man, aren’t you?” No one knows what’s going on here. What does he say to the guy, Roach, the guy with the grenade launcher? “Do you know who’s in charge here, son?” And he just looks at him and he goes, “Yeah,” and then turns around and walks away. That’s when you know. You know who’s in charge? Craziness. The only thing that is in charge here is chaos. You can feel it, and I love it. And Lance, who’s tripping on acid, who’s standing on top of the bunker screaming, looking out, where Charlie is screaming back at him like, “F–k you, GI,” and he’s like, “Lance, get the f–k down!” But that’s the thing: Lance is all of us. That’s what I feel about that movie. He first gets up and he’s just like the good old surfer dude who’s just there and serving his thing, doing what he has to, and in the presence of all of that craziness, he is so affected by it. He’s like the frog slowly boiled in water. To the end, where you get there and he’s ready, he’s primed for the gospel of Kurtz, and he’s just there, and that would be all of us. That’s the experience that so many people had in that war."

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Lightyear (2022)
Lightyear (2022)
2022 | Action, Adventure, Animation
9
7.3 (12 Ratings)
Movie Rating
The digital magicians at Pixar have returned with an origin story of one of their most famous characters. “Lightyear” opens with an explanation that Andy from “A Toy Story” was given a toy based on his favorite movie in 1995 and that this is the movie upon which the toy was based.

With that explanation out of the way, the film centers on a giant ship deep in space that encounters a planet and awakens Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear (Chris Evans) to investigate. Along with a fellow ranger and a recruit, Buzz scopes out the planet only to discover it is hostile and makes a hasty exit from the planet. Unfortunately, in doing so their ship is damaged and they are left stranded on the planet and forced to establish a colony.

Years later Buzz is about to undergo a test flight based on a new fuel that the colony hopes will replicate their previous source and will allow them to travel at the insane velocities needed to cover millions of light-years.

Things seem to go as planned until a critical failure and Buzz learns that his four-minute flight actually covered several years on the planet. Undaunted Buzz tries again and again and returns to find his friends aging, having children, and passing away with only his robotic cat Sox (Peter Sohn) to keep him connected to his past and assist him.

While this would make for an interesting enough film it is actually just the setup to the larger story which involves a hostile Robot army and an evil menace named Zurg who threatens Buzz and his hastily assembled team of volunteers to save the day.

The film has amazing animation and all the humor and charm that one associates with the best Pixar films and is not above giving the audience an emotional tug here and there along the way as I can remember more than a few Pixar films that caused audiences to tear up.

Since this is the first of the last three Pixar films to make a cinematic release it would be easy to say that it is a return to form for Disney/Pixar but I would say that is an understatement as the film mixes humor, action, and interesting characters to form a very enjoyable and engaging adventure which is one of the most satisfying Pixar films in recent memory and one every bit worthy of their name.

It will be interesting to see what the future holds for this crew as I would very much like to see Buzz and his crew return for new adventures soon as “Lightyear” is a new Pixar classic that the entire family will love.

4.5 stars out of 5
  
World War Z
World War Z
2018 | Action
Huge hordes of zombies, Satisfying laying into them (3 more)
Fun coop with friends
Upgradable classes and weapons
Loads of characters to choose from
Zombie bodies disappear after killing them (1 more)
Not much of a story
A fun entertaining coop game with a ton of satisfaction
I have been loving this game and satisfying is the first word that comes to mind. You have hundreds or thousands of zombies coming at you and your laying into them with many different types of weapons. Seeing them all fall and the horde being destroyed is the most satisfying feeling ever. Sadly bodies do disappear quickly to make room for the rest of the horde and that is a limitation of the engine or the system or both.

There are only 4 episodes each with 3 chapters, The 4th (Tokyo) did have 2 but a 3rd was added through free dlc but more on that in a moment. Each episode has 4 characters to choose from so 16 overall which i found impressive. They do all have backstories but you only unlock their video once you have played with that character.

There are also a huge amount of guns and they can all be upgrades with currency you earn from completing levels. The harder the difficult, the more you get. There are typically 5 tiers for each gun and you can upgrade once you get to each level through earning xp. This is done just from using them. I quite liked this system. Your aiming for something. There are also quite a few classes that you can choose from which can also be upgraded but for now ive mainly stuck with gunslinger but know there are classes like medic.

All of the missions can be played alone or with friends. They have an offline mode where its yourself with bots or online where you can team up with friends. This is so much fun. But not only this, they also have a multiplayer mode which is PvPvZ where you have to fight other people as well as zombies but being honest ive not spent too much time in this just yet.

As ive mentioned we already got some free dlc with more to come. We also got private lobbies which is a welcome addition since online would always throw you in with randoms if you didnt have a full team of friends. Some randoms could be a bit selfish with stuff they find. The new chapter was great but should have already been there sinces its a 3rd chapter and the other episodes already had 3. A new zombie type was also introduced which is fun if it will be something they will keep doing. It keeps you on your toes often.

Im excited to keep playing and will be even better with future updates when they add a 6th difficulty option after the insane mode and a survival wave based mode. Hopefully we get more episodes too.
  
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
2010 | Comedy
6
7.1 (18 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Adam (John Cusack) is a man going nowhere fast. Upon his return home one day, Adam finds his girlfriend gone, his nephew Jacob (Clark Duke) in his basement addicted to playing online games that simulate real life, and his friend Lou (Rob Corddry) in the hospital.

When Adam meets up with his friend Nick (Craig Robinson) at the hospital, Nick attempts to brighten up Lou by offering him a trip to their old ski resort to relive the fun of their youth. With Jacob tagging along, the three friends head back to the site of their past glory, and realize that things have not improved with time.

The scenic town is now run down and largely abandoned and their resort has long since seen better days. Undaunted, the group breaks out the alcohol and heads for the hot tub in an effort to make the most out of their time with one another and to escape their empty lives.

Upon awakening from their stupor the group discovers that they have been whisked back to 1986 and they appear to everyone there as the younger versions of themselves. Jacob flips though when he sees himself as a flickering image and becomes convinced that they must not do anything to alter the future and must relive the weekend of 1986 over exactly as they did the first time.

A quirky repair man (Chevy Chase), indicates that he can fix the tub, but that he will need some time. Adam is thrilled when he meets his old girlfriend and then laments the fact that he has to end their relationship in order to preserve the timeline. Adam has long regretted her leaving the love of his life and is tempted to do things differently this time.

Nick looks to relieve his failed musical debut as a singer, but knows that he must do what is needed to get home. Lou, on the other hand, is the loose cannon of the group and is thrilled to get another chance at glory and chase women since he has become a pathetic loser in the future.

What follows is a madcap and outrageous comedy that lovingly resurrects the classic 80’s movies of old and infuses the modern gross out humor to successfully blend the old with the new as the friends struggle to get through the weekend and return home without altering the future.

The cast is solid, and Crispin Glover is great as the bizarre bellhop destined to have his arm go missing, but the when and how drives Lou insane in anticipation. While Robinson and Cusack do solid work, Corddry steals the film as a scheming, madcap mix of depravity and patheticness that drives the film.

While the movie did drag in a few parts for me there were enough laughs in the film to keep me interested and enjoy the nostalgic look back at my beloved 80s.
  
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Caribou recommended Madvillainy by Madvillain in Music (curated)

 
Madvillainy by Madvillain
Madvillainy by Madvillain
2004 | Hip-hop
9.5 (2 Ratings)
Album Favorite

"Hip-hop has always been such a big thing for me, particularly hip-hop production. So many of my favourite producers growing up, and the reason why I wanted to make produced music, came from people like RZA, Premier, Pete Rock, Q-Tip, Timbaland and early Neptunes, early Kanye even - and Madlib and J Dilla are both right up there. I picked these two albums [J Dilla's Donuts is also on the list] that came out on the same label and from the same scene rather than say, Illmatic, because at that point in my life there was a sense of like, no matter how much I liked Public Enemy or A Tribe Called Quest records, I was coming to them late. But I can remember Madvillainy leaking way in advance and thinking it was so exciting being there for it happening. I think it will be remembered as a classic record. I've got to know Madlib since then, which is amazing because he's an absolute hero. I'm coming to hip-hop more from a production point of view rather than listening to the MCing or the lyrics - that's because I produce music. But this is a record where the Doom part and the Madlib are so perfectly matched. It's like the greatest hits of beat producing - every track is completely insane. The way he cuts up the samples is so, so heavy! I think it's pretty much perfect. It's so eccentric. There aren't that many genres of music where eccentricity is embraced in the same way. This is a really, really weird record, but it's totally canonised as being a classic record. That's wonderful. Maybe in the same way Theo Parrish's music is - people embrace that weirdness, but there are other genres of music where they don't. The feeling I got when I made Swim - and it was a little revelation - was that if you asked your general public person about dance music they'd say it's all the same and formulaic, there's got to be a repetitive beat and blah blah blah. But the fact that there is a kind of repetitive rhythmic element is actually quite liberating - so long as it's got that framework you can do anything else on top of it. You don't necessarily have to have something that functions as a song. And hip-hop's the same thing - so long as there's a beat that moves you, the other things around it don't really matter, you can do what you like. You can have a sample of a Pakistani singer over the top or an old soul record or even just random drum machine hits firing off all over the place - there's a crazy variety of things Madlib does when he's producing. But because it still makes your head nod, you can leave that area and be more free."

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