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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated MechaTop in Tabletop Games
Jul 2, 2020
I think it goes without saying that we at Purple Phoenix Games love board games – otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this preview. That being said, wargames are not something that our group has really gotten around to playing. So when Tabletop Systems L.T.D. reached out about having us preview their newest wargame system, curiosity got the best of me and I couldn’t refuse. If you’re in the same boat we were, check out MechaTop – this system might surprise you!
Disclaimer: We were provided with a PnP version of this game for the purposes of this preview. Please excuse my lack of a color printer, and rest assured that the cards are colorful and eye-catching. The rulebook we have is not the finalized version, but rather an up-to-date draft detailing the overall rules and gameplay. Some changes will probably take place during the Kickstarter campaign, so the finalized game system might have some differences to this preview. For more details, check out the publisher’s website! -L
MechaTop is a tabletop wargame system in which players pilot large Mecha suits and battle their opponents. To begin a game, you must first decide which game mode you want to play. After selecting the game mode, players create their Mecha teams for battle. Each game mode has an associated cost score limit – the highest maximum cost you can spend on your team. For example, a Mecha suit might cost 300, and the cost score limit for the chosen mode is 600, leaving you with 300 to spend on upgrade cards for your suit. Once all players have chosen and upgraded their Mecha suits, those corresponding cards are placing in their play area. Everyone then selects a Pilot card to be assigned to their Mecha suit, and receives a set of Button tokens and a secret Twist card (kept secret until played at any time during the game). Decide which weapons to equip on your suit for the start of the game, roll a d6, and take turns placing your Mecha in the playing field in ascending numerical order of the die rolls. You are officially ready to start the game now!
Each round begins with the Instinct Phase, where players decide which 2 Button tokens they want to play this round. The Button actions are: Attack, Movement/Rotation, Change Weapon/Reload, and possibly Telekinesis. After the Buttons have been selected, they are placed face-down on the playing field next to their corresponding Mecha suit. Next is the Initiative Phase, in which all players roll a d6 and the player who rolled the highest gets to act first in the round. On your turn, you may choose to activate 1 Button token, activate both Button tokens, or declare No Action and pass your turn. Choosing to activate only 1 Button allows you to perform a simple action, but activating both at the same time in certain combinations allows you to perform a more powerful type of the corresponding action. Choosing to do No Action allows you to keep both Button tokens facedown. The benefit to leaving either 1 or both Button tokens facedown is that you can then use them as reactions during an opponent’s turn. Let’s say an opponent tries to Attack you – if you have your Movement Button still at your disposal, you can use it to attempt to dodge the hit and negate that damage. If you don’t use a Button in that situation, or don’t have one left face-down, all the damage goes straight through on your suit, thus bringing you closer to losing the game. Be warned – some actions are automatic, but some are resolved by dice rolls, so you better hope luck is on your side! After all players have had a turn in Initiative Order, a new round begins with another Instinct Phase. Play continues in this manner until the win condition of the selected game mode has been met, and the winner is deemed victorious!
First and foremost, I think one of the coolest things about the MechaTop system is that it can be played using ANY mecha models, action figures, or standees that you choose. In my childhood, Transformers made up a decent amount of our household, so it’s neat that I am able to bring those back out again after all these years. The nostalgia is great in that sense, and it makes the game more enjoyable. Also along those lines, the game will come with blank Mecha and Pilot cards for you to create your own – the rulebook has a section dedicated to stat card creation. It’s a neat element that lets you add a personal twist to your game, and lets you sit in the pilot’s seat (see what I did there?) to make the game truly your own! In the team creation step, players also have the opportunity to buy Upgrades for their suits, and that gives you additional control over your game. You can create so many different combinations of Upgrades that keep each game unique and entertaining.
The overall game flow is pretty nice. The rounds are logical, and the Button tokens add a unique element of strategy that takes this game to the next level for me. Do you forego doing a special action this turn and save a Button token in case an opponent tries to attack you? Or are you willing to risk damage to your Mecha suit in order to execute the exact plan that you want? The Button tokens take MechaTop beyond a simple attack-and-defend wargame and incorporates strategy to help balance out the randomness of Initiative rolls. The Twist cards are a nice touch as well, because if played at the right time, they could literally turn the battle around for you! No matter how good your strategy is, however, all offensive/defensive actions are dictated by dice rolls. So there’s a bit of a luck element embedded in this game as well. You have to be able to adapt your strategy on the fly depending on how your die results are turning out!
There is a bit of a learning curve to this game that can make it seem daunting at first. Different actions require a different number of dice to roll, and knowing what results counts as a success or failure is not always easy to remember. Incorporating a Player Reference Sheet would eliminate some of the confusion, but it does get easier to remember the more you play the game. Probably the biggest drawback of the system for me is that there is no set game board or movement system. The rulebook details movement speeds and weapon ranges based on different scales of models you might use, but that honestly just went right over my head. Providing a set of bases for models, as well as a hex-grid board would take out that guess-work for players and make it easier to visualize movement and range. And that would help keep the game flowing smoothly because players would not have to spend time measuring distances across the play area.
Let’s talk components. As I mentioned earlier, we only have a PnP copy of MechaTop, so admittedly our components are not the best. That being said, the finalized game should be coming with nice colorful cards, sturdy cardboard tokens, and good quality dice. Don’t let my drab version keep you from checking out the game on BGG or its own website!
All in all, MechaTop is a wargame system that I can see myself playing again. The gameplay itself is straight-forward and simple to grasp, but the strategic elements incorporated with Button tokens, Twist cards, and Upgrades ensure that you will never play the same game twice. If you’re looking to get into wargame systems, or are just looking for a unique wargame setting, definitely check out the MechaTop Kickstarter when it goes live later this month!
Disclaimer: We were provided with a PnP version of this game for the purposes of this preview. Please excuse my lack of a color printer, and rest assured that the cards are colorful and eye-catching. The rulebook we have is not the finalized version, but rather an up-to-date draft detailing the overall rules and gameplay. Some changes will probably take place during the Kickstarter campaign, so the finalized game system might have some differences to this preview. For more details, check out the publisher’s website! -L
MechaTop is a tabletop wargame system in which players pilot large Mecha suits and battle their opponents. To begin a game, you must first decide which game mode you want to play. After selecting the game mode, players create their Mecha teams for battle. Each game mode has an associated cost score limit – the highest maximum cost you can spend on your team. For example, a Mecha suit might cost 300, and the cost score limit for the chosen mode is 600, leaving you with 300 to spend on upgrade cards for your suit. Once all players have chosen and upgraded their Mecha suits, those corresponding cards are placing in their play area. Everyone then selects a Pilot card to be assigned to their Mecha suit, and receives a set of Button tokens and a secret Twist card (kept secret until played at any time during the game). Decide which weapons to equip on your suit for the start of the game, roll a d6, and take turns placing your Mecha in the playing field in ascending numerical order of the die rolls. You are officially ready to start the game now!
Each round begins with the Instinct Phase, where players decide which 2 Button tokens they want to play this round. The Button actions are: Attack, Movement/Rotation, Change Weapon/Reload, and possibly Telekinesis. After the Buttons have been selected, they are placed face-down on the playing field next to their corresponding Mecha suit. Next is the Initiative Phase, in which all players roll a d6 and the player who rolled the highest gets to act first in the round. On your turn, you may choose to activate 1 Button token, activate both Button tokens, or declare No Action and pass your turn. Choosing to activate only 1 Button allows you to perform a simple action, but activating both at the same time in certain combinations allows you to perform a more powerful type of the corresponding action. Choosing to do No Action allows you to keep both Button tokens facedown. The benefit to leaving either 1 or both Button tokens facedown is that you can then use them as reactions during an opponent’s turn. Let’s say an opponent tries to Attack you – if you have your Movement Button still at your disposal, you can use it to attempt to dodge the hit and negate that damage. If you don’t use a Button in that situation, or don’t have one left face-down, all the damage goes straight through on your suit, thus bringing you closer to losing the game. Be warned – some actions are automatic, but some are resolved by dice rolls, so you better hope luck is on your side! After all players have had a turn in Initiative Order, a new round begins with another Instinct Phase. Play continues in this manner until the win condition of the selected game mode has been met, and the winner is deemed victorious!
First and foremost, I think one of the coolest things about the MechaTop system is that it can be played using ANY mecha models, action figures, or standees that you choose. In my childhood, Transformers made up a decent amount of our household, so it’s neat that I am able to bring those back out again after all these years. The nostalgia is great in that sense, and it makes the game more enjoyable. Also along those lines, the game will come with blank Mecha and Pilot cards for you to create your own – the rulebook has a section dedicated to stat card creation. It’s a neat element that lets you add a personal twist to your game, and lets you sit in the pilot’s seat (see what I did there?) to make the game truly your own! In the team creation step, players also have the opportunity to buy Upgrades for their suits, and that gives you additional control over your game. You can create so many different combinations of Upgrades that keep each game unique and entertaining.
The overall game flow is pretty nice. The rounds are logical, and the Button tokens add a unique element of strategy that takes this game to the next level for me. Do you forego doing a special action this turn and save a Button token in case an opponent tries to attack you? Or are you willing to risk damage to your Mecha suit in order to execute the exact plan that you want? The Button tokens take MechaTop beyond a simple attack-and-defend wargame and incorporates strategy to help balance out the randomness of Initiative rolls. The Twist cards are a nice touch as well, because if played at the right time, they could literally turn the battle around for you! No matter how good your strategy is, however, all offensive/defensive actions are dictated by dice rolls. So there’s a bit of a luck element embedded in this game as well. You have to be able to adapt your strategy on the fly depending on how your die results are turning out!
There is a bit of a learning curve to this game that can make it seem daunting at first. Different actions require a different number of dice to roll, and knowing what results counts as a success or failure is not always easy to remember. Incorporating a Player Reference Sheet would eliminate some of the confusion, but it does get easier to remember the more you play the game. Probably the biggest drawback of the system for me is that there is no set game board or movement system. The rulebook details movement speeds and weapon ranges based on different scales of models you might use, but that honestly just went right over my head. Providing a set of bases for models, as well as a hex-grid board would take out that guess-work for players and make it easier to visualize movement and range. And that would help keep the game flowing smoothly because players would not have to spend time measuring distances across the play area.
Let’s talk components. As I mentioned earlier, we only have a PnP copy of MechaTop, so admittedly our components are not the best. That being said, the finalized game should be coming with nice colorful cards, sturdy cardboard tokens, and good quality dice. Don’t let my drab version keep you from checking out the game on BGG or its own website!
All in all, MechaTop is a wargame system that I can see myself playing again. The gameplay itself is straight-forward and simple to grasp, but the strategic elements incorporated with Button tokens, Twist cards, and Upgrades ensure that you will never play the same game twice. If you’re looking to get into wargame systems, or are just looking for a unique wargame setting, definitely check out the MechaTop Kickstarter when it goes live later this month!
Charlie Cobra Reviews (1840 KP) rated the Nintendo Switch version of Secret Neighbor in Video Games
Sep 4, 2021
The Concept (1 more)
Playing as the Neighbor
Balancing, the Neighbor is too OP (1 more)
Playing as a kid isn't very fun
Fun And Intriguing Concept But Suffers From Balancing Issues
Secret Neighbor is a multiplayer Social/Horror game developed by Hologryph and published by tinyBuild Games. It is a spin-off of the Hello Neighbor franchise/series and is available on Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, and PC. Secret Neighbor was initially released in October 2019 and just recently on August 26th 2021 for Nintendo Switch. The game supports up to 6 players who must work as a group to unlock the basement. Just one catch, one of you is the Neighbor in disguise.
I have to say first off that this kind of game is not something that I would normally play. I think my favorite games to play are FPS's, RPG's and probably fighting or adventure games. That being said, I'm also an OG gamer who have been playing games for over 30 years since Super Mario Bros. on the NES. So I've played all kinds of different kind of games and have definitely found some that were more fun than I thought they would be. This was not one of them. The game has an easy enough concept that I didn't understand at first but after reading about the game it's based off of, it makes sense. The game Hello Neighbor is kind of like a kid's version of the movie Disturbia. Your Shia LeBeouf and need to get into your Neighbor's basement after witnessing something suspicious and disturbing.
However in this game Secret Neighbor, your not on your own. You have a group of neighborhood kids, your friends, who are there to help get into the basement too. Your job is to work together to sneak around the house and collect the keys that unlock the basement door. You can use perks and abilities unique to each class of characters. For example the detective starts with a photo of a key location, while the bagger has an extra item slot. There are six different characters altogether and you can cooperate by teaming up and staying together or splitting up and exploring alone. What could go wrong right? Well that's where the secret in Secret Neighbor comes to play. One of you is a traitor, the Neighbor in disguise. As the neighbor your job is to stop the intruders by capturing them all. You can transform in and out of your disguise and also setup traps. There are a couple of different game modes as well as a level editor for you to create your own maze and invite friends to play.
So I went into this game with low expectations. Like I said, I'm not that big a fan of this genre or style type of game but I've heard good things about similar games like Dead by Daylight and Among Us which share some characteristics with this game, so I said why not. So going into the game right away I realized there was a learning curve. As I was trying to learn the controls and figure out what was what, I was immediately scooped up by the Neighbor and game over. This game can be really frustrating for new players in that way. Kind of reminded me of some games that are Battle Royale, like Apex because once you are captured by the Neighbor, it's game over. You can stay and watch the game and see if any of the kids make it or if the Neighbor captures everybody and win, or you can choose to leave the game without penalty. I chose to start a new game because I was determined to do better.
The controls are actually really simple, so it's not real confusing or hard to learn. You have two slots for items, and start off with the flashlight. It's like your best friend because of how dark the lighting is in the game. You can pick up items along the way, random things you can throw like boxes, milk cartons, potted plants, etc... You can also pick up more important items like key cards and keys. The key cards get you into restricted rooms and the keys unlock the basement which is where you need to go to win the game. I think this game is really unbalanced. On way play through a player didn't even try being sneaky and just transformed into the Neighbor and captured us all. There wasn't even anything we could do about it. Then on another play through I was actually with some competent or experienced players who were finding keys right away. The problem this game faces, is the same every cooperative game faces, which is nobody works together. The Neighbor has the edge every time. I played a game where there were some really good players who knew how to throw items really good and would rescue each other and the other players from the Neighbor but he still won and captured everyone.
The concept was interesting and sounded cool. To me it seemed something like Among Us, where you got to figure out who the Neighbor is because it's secretly one of the group and they will use that to capture everyone in secret without revealing their identity. As far as playability however, that isn't usually how it goes down and I feel the game suffers from balance issues making it not as fun as it could be. When you're the Neighbor it can be extremely fun but as the kids not so much. The graphics were good and I liked the character designs and the enviroments. It had it's own weird charm kind of like the movie Coraline. A little bit creepy and strange but not bad. There are some bad animations that happen here and there and things that don't go as smooth as they should. For example, sometimes you can close a door and someone will walk right through it. I also sat and watched as someone playing as the Neighbor couldn't capture someone hiding in a wardrobe because they kept closing the door or they kept closing the door on accident trying to capture the kid. It happened for like 3 minutes and eventually the Neighbor moved on. I also didn't like the speed movement as you walked around, I think you could push in on the control stick to run but it didn't seem that much faster or last for that long.
The sound was great. I particularly liked the little guitar riff when waiting for a game to load up. The sound effects for actions in the game were adequate and the voice overs fit the characters but nothing that really stood out. The game definitely has its moments and can be pretty fun at times. I really enjoyed playing as the Neighbor. To sneak around as a kid and then transform into the Neighbor when you're alone in a room and capture them, then transform back and rejoin the group is thrilling. But lack of team work and communication makes most playthrough as a kid very frustrating. Playing as the detective lets you find keys easier, playing as the bagger helps you hold an extra item, but nothing really helped to escape the clutches of the Neighbor. I think one of the characters the Brave class is supposed to make escape easier but when I played as her it didn't really help. Maybe if the game had a story mode I would be more invested in it but since it was just multiplayer it got pretty repetitive and not as fun rather quickly. I would say that this game isn't for everybody but if it sounds like something similar to a game you've liked playing before, then I can see you picking it up and playing for a couple of hours here and there. As such I would say it has a moderate replay value. I give this game a 6/10.
I have to say first off that this kind of game is not something that I would normally play. I think my favorite games to play are FPS's, RPG's and probably fighting or adventure games. That being said, I'm also an OG gamer who have been playing games for over 30 years since Super Mario Bros. on the NES. So I've played all kinds of different kind of games and have definitely found some that were more fun than I thought they would be. This was not one of them. The game has an easy enough concept that I didn't understand at first but after reading about the game it's based off of, it makes sense. The game Hello Neighbor is kind of like a kid's version of the movie Disturbia. Your Shia LeBeouf and need to get into your Neighbor's basement after witnessing something suspicious and disturbing.
However in this game Secret Neighbor, your not on your own. You have a group of neighborhood kids, your friends, who are there to help get into the basement too. Your job is to work together to sneak around the house and collect the keys that unlock the basement door. You can use perks and abilities unique to each class of characters. For example the detective starts with a photo of a key location, while the bagger has an extra item slot. There are six different characters altogether and you can cooperate by teaming up and staying together or splitting up and exploring alone. What could go wrong right? Well that's where the secret in Secret Neighbor comes to play. One of you is a traitor, the Neighbor in disguise. As the neighbor your job is to stop the intruders by capturing them all. You can transform in and out of your disguise and also setup traps. There are a couple of different game modes as well as a level editor for you to create your own maze and invite friends to play.
So I went into this game with low expectations. Like I said, I'm not that big a fan of this genre or style type of game but I've heard good things about similar games like Dead by Daylight and Among Us which share some characteristics with this game, so I said why not. So going into the game right away I realized there was a learning curve. As I was trying to learn the controls and figure out what was what, I was immediately scooped up by the Neighbor and game over. This game can be really frustrating for new players in that way. Kind of reminded me of some games that are Battle Royale, like Apex because once you are captured by the Neighbor, it's game over. You can stay and watch the game and see if any of the kids make it or if the Neighbor captures everybody and win, or you can choose to leave the game without penalty. I chose to start a new game because I was determined to do better.
The controls are actually really simple, so it's not real confusing or hard to learn. You have two slots for items, and start off with the flashlight. It's like your best friend because of how dark the lighting is in the game. You can pick up items along the way, random things you can throw like boxes, milk cartons, potted plants, etc... You can also pick up more important items like key cards and keys. The key cards get you into restricted rooms and the keys unlock the basement which is where you need to go to win the game. I think this game is really unbalanced. On way play through a player didn't even try being sneaky and just transformed into the Neighbor and captured us all. There wasn't even anything we could do about it. Then on another play through I was actually with some competent or experienced players who were finding keys right away. The problem this game faces, is the same every cooperative game faces, which is nobody works together. The Neighbor has the edge every time. I played a game where there were some really good players who knew how to throw items really good and would rescue each other and the other players from the Neighbor but he still won and captured everyone.
The concept was interesting and sounded cool. To me it seemed something like Among Us, where you got to figure out who the Neighbor is because it's secretly one of the group and they will use that to capture everyone in secret without revealing their identity. As far as playability however, that isn't usually how it goes down and I feel the game suffers from balance issues making it not as fun as it could be. When you're the Neighbor it can be extremely fun but as the kids not so much. The graphics were good and I liked the character designs and the enviroments. It had it's own weird charm kind of like the movie Coraline. A little bit creepy and strange but not bad. There are some bad animations that happen here and there and things that don't go as smooth as they should. For example, sometimes you can close a door and someone will walk right through it. I also sat and watched as someone playing as the Neighbor couldn't capture someone hiding in a wardrobe because they kept closing the door or they kept closing the door on accident trying to capture the kid. It happened for like 3 minutes and eventually the Neighbor moved on. I also didn't like the speed movement as you walked around, I think you could push in on the control stick to run but it didn't seem that much faster or last for that long.
The sound was great. I particularly liked the little guitar riff when waiting for a game to load up. The sound effects for actions in the game were adequate and the voice overs fit the characters but nothing that really stood out. The game definitely has its moments and can be pretty fun at times. I really enjoyed playing as the Neighbor. To sneak around as a kid and then transform into the Neighbor when you're alone in a room and capture them, then transform back and rejoin the group is thrilling. But lack of team work and communication makes most playthrough as a kid very frustrating. Playing as the detective lets you find keys easier, playing as the bagger helps you hold an extra item, but nothing really helped to escape the clutches of the Neighbor. I think one of the characters the Brave class is supposed to make escape easier but when I played as her it didn't really help. Maybe if the game had a story mode I would be more invested in it but since it was just multiplayer it got pretty repetitive and not as fun rather quickly. I would say that this game isn't for everybody but if it sounds like something similar to a game you've liked playing before, then I can see you picking it up and playing for a couple of hours here and there. As such I would say it has a moderate replay value. I give this game a 6/10.
Mandy and G.D. Burkhead (26 KP) rated Banewreaker in Books
May 20, 2018
Shelf Life – Banewreaker Will Make You Feel Bad for Sauron
Contains spoilers, click to show
Very few fantasy fans can get away with admitting that they aren’t all that big into sweeping, high epic fantasy à la Lord of the Rings or the Pern stories or everything that Terry Brooks writes. Many non-fantasy fans, however, can point to these tales as examples of why they aren’t into fantasy. Like it or not, it’s hard not to see the latter group’s point, as a lot of high fantasy is riddled with confusing terminology, rehashed stories, and genre clichés. This is not to say that these stories are bad, per sé, just that they can easily turn off readers who aren’t in the right kind of crowd.
Banewreaker, the first book in Jacqueline Carey’s two-part volume The Sundering, will probably not change any opinions in this respect, then, as it’s sweeping high fantasy to the core. This, as it turns out, is both its greatest strength and its greatest weakness.
There are some reviews out there that laud Banewreaker as a masterful examination of subjective viewpoints in an epic fantasy turned into a human tragedy by a simple change of perspective. And they are absolutely correct.
There are other reviews, however, that call the book out as a heap of all of the stalest fantasy clichés piled one atop the other in a confusing and pretentious jumble with a shellacking of purple prose for good measure. And they are also absolutely correct.
Let me explain.
For starters, it would be inaccurate to say that this story is full of clichés. This story is clichés. This story is every familiar and used-up trope you would expect from a high fantasy, all of those details that have been done to death in thousands of other versions until almost nothing that happens seems original anymore.
This is what’s going to turn off a lot of people. But the thing is, Banewreaker has to be this way. It wants the reader to look at all of the things that they’ve come to expect from a fantasy epic and then, by shifting the narrative focus, realize that all of these beloved tropes are actually, when you think about it, tragic as hell.
In other words, it’s Lord of the Rings from Sauron’s point of view.
It’s not a riff, though. It’s not goofy like most of the stuff I go in for. It takes its subject just as seriously as the stories that it’s mirroring, and this is what makes the whole story ultimately so gripping and so moving.
The story starts out like many stories of this magnitude, with exposition stretching back to the Dawn of This Particular Creation. In this case, we have a protogenos world god named Uru-Alat who died and gave rise to seven smaller godlike beings called Shapers. First comes Haomane, who becomes the Lord of Thought and sets himself up as head honcho for this ensuing pantheon. Second is Arahila, the Basically a Love Goddess; and third is Satoris, whose purview was “the quickening of the flesh,” which is high fantasy speak for sexy times. Four more Shapers come after this who, for the sake of brevity, we’ll be glossing over.
To summarize the important godly exposition, the Seven Shapers set about shaping the world to the surprise of no one. Haomane creates elves (here called Ellyl, but if you’ve ever even looked at a fantasy, you know that they’re the elves here), Arahila creates humans, and Satoris doesn’t create anything because he’s busy hanging out with dragons and learning their wisdom. Satoris grants his fleshy quickening to the humans but not the elves, because Haomane didn’t want his elves to do that. Then Haomane decides he doesn’t want the humans to do that either, but Satoris refuses to take the gift away again. Conflict escalates, god wars ensue, and the world splits into two continents, with Satoris ostracized from his brethren on one and the remaining Shapers on the other. By the time the dust has settled, Satoris is scarred and burned pitch black, living in a mostly dead land thanks to Haomane’s wrath, but with a dagger in his possession that is the only weapon capable of killing any of the Shapers.
The story itself picks up thousands of years later, with Satoris as the Satan/Sauron stand-in living in a forbidding land surrounded by classically evil things like trolls, giant spiders, and insane people. Since Haomane is the head god, the rest of the world believes Satoris to be a terrible figure of evil and betrayal, while Satoris’s few allies know him as a pitiable and misunderstood figure who only ever wanted to honor his word and do right by his own sense of morality rather than the dictates of his elder brother god king.
From here the plot becomes the typical Army of Good vs. Army of Evil adventure, but with the protagonistic focus on Satoris and his allies. His trolls we see not as a mindless horde but as a simple, honorable people who happily serve their lord because he happily serves them right back. The mad individuals inhabiting his fortress are castaways from normal society with nowhere else to go. And the giant spiders just happen to live there and be bigger than normal, with no sinister intentions beyond that.
And just like that, by actually showing us the home life of the ultimate in evil fantasy tropes, we see how easily one side’s view of evil is another’s view of good. In doing so, Banewreaker becomes perhaps the first sweeping fantasy epic with no real bad guy, just two sides of an unfortunate conflict. Both sides have their likeable characters, both sides seem from their view to be in the right, and pretty soon you, as the reader, will stop cheering for either one, because whenever one person that you like succeeds it means that another person whom you also like is failing.
In fact, the closest thing that this story has to a clearly-labeled “evil” character is the sorceress Lilias, and even then, she’s not evil so much as a woman who has done some bad things for completely understandable reasons. Lilias, in fact, is one of the most pitiful characters in this whole saga of pitiable characters, with her fears and attachments closely mirroring those of most readers, only amplified by her immortality and magical powers. She is afraid of dying. She wants to be more in the grand scheme of things than just another man’s wife or another country’s momentary ruler, both of which would just be tiny moments in a long history. She likes her youth. She likes having pretty things and pretty people around her. And from her interactions with her dragon mentor and apparently only friend, Calandor, we see that she is also capable of intense affection and even love just as she is capable of indulging in self-centered self-interest that, if not particularly a good trait, is also one that she is not alone in possessing.
Banewreaker, then, is a story with a large cast of characters but very few actual heroes or innocents as well as very few outright villains, which is exactly what it sets out to be. Those who love it and those who hate it both seem to blame this quality in particular for their feelings. The biggest complaint leveled against it (that I have read, anyway) is that the people we should be rooting for do not deserve our sympathy, while the people we should be rooting against are more misguided and unwilling to see things in another light than deserving of our scorn.
This is true. But if it’s a flaw, it’s an intentional one. And if it makes you feel like you shouldn’t be cheering for either side at all in this conflict, that’s the point. This is a story of clichés, yes, but it has something that it needs to say about these clichés and, in doing so, about the subjective and impossibly nebulous quality of morality in general.
In short, here again is another fantasy story about the Forces of Good wiping out an entire nation dedicated to their “evil” enemy. And as the story points out, even if you believe in that cause, you’re still wiping out an entire nation of people. No way is there not a downside to that. Seeing things in a black-and-white morality just means crushing a whole lot of important shades of gray underfoot.
Whether or not you like Banewreaker, then, depends in large part upon how much you realize that Carey as an author is being self-aware. As someone who read and still hasn’t stopped being awed over her Kushiel series, I can’t claim complete objectivity in this area, because I came to Banewreaker already in love with her. I can say, however, that unless you have an intense and searing aversion to ornate and sweeping style, this book is worth any fantasy-lover’s time – especially if you’ve ever felt a pang of empathy for all of the poor villainous mooks that fantasy heroes tend to mow down without a thought because they were the wrong kind of ugly.
Banewreaker, the first book in Jacqueline Carey’s two-part volume The Sundering, will probably not change any opinions in this respect, then, as it’s sweeping high fantasy to the core. This, as it turns out, is both its greatest strength and its greatest weakness.
There are some reviews out there that laud Banewreaker as a masterful examination of subjective viewpoints in an epic fantasy turned into a human tragedy by a simple change of perspective. And they are absolutely correct.
There are other reviews, however, that call the book out as a heap of all of the stalest fantasy clichés piled one atop the other in a confusing and pretentious jumble with a shellacking of purple prose for good measure. And they are also absolutely correct.
Let me explain.
For starters, it would be inaccurate to say that this story is full of clichés. This story is clichés. This story is every familiar and used-up trope you would expect from a high fantasy, all of those details that have been done to death in thousands of other versions until almost nothing that happens seems original anymore.
This is what’s going to turn off a lot of people. But the thing is, Banewreaker has to be this way. It wants the reader to look at all of the things that they’ve come to expect from a fantasy epic and then, by shifting the narrative focus, realize that all of these beloved tropes are actually, when you think about it, tragic as hell.
In other words, it’s Lord of the Rings from Sauron’s point of view.
It’s not a riff, though. It’s not goofy like most of the stuff I go in for. It takes its subject just as seriously as the stories that it’s mirroring, and this is what makes the whole story ultimately so gripping and so moving.
The story starts out like many stories of this magnitude, with exposition stretching back to the Dawn of This Particular Creation. In this case, we have a protogenos world god named Uru-Alat who died and gave rise to seven smaller godlike beings called Shapers. First comes Haomane, who becomes the Lord of Thought and sets himself up as head honcho for this ensuing pantheon. Second is Arahila, the Basically a Love Goddess; and third is Satoris, whose purview was “the quickening of the flesh,” which is high fantasy speak for sexy times. Four more Shapers come after this who, for the sake of brevity, we’ll be glossing over.
To summarize the important godly exposition, the Seven Shapers set about shaping the world to the surprise of no one. Haomane creates elves (here called Ellyl, but if you’ve ever even looked at a fantasy, you know that they’re the elves here), Arahila creates humans, and Satoris doesn’t create anything because he’s busy hanging out with dragons and learning their wisdom. Satoris grants his fleshy quickening to the humans but not the elves, because Haomane didn’t want his elves to do that. Then Haomane decides he doesn’t want the humans to do that either, but Satoris refuses to take the gift away again. Conflict escalates, god wars ensue, and the world splits into two continents, with Satoris ostracized from his brethren on one and the remaining Shapers on the other. By the time the dust has settled, Satoris is scarred and burned pitch black, living in a mostly dead land thanks to Haomane’s wrath, but with a dagger in his possession that is the only weapon capable of killing any of the Shapers.
The story itself picks up thousands of years later, with Satoris as the Satan/Sauron stand-in living in a forbidding land surrounded by classically evil things like trolls, giant spiders, and insane people. Since Haomane is the head god, the rest of the world believes Satoris to be a terrible figure of evil and betrayal, while Satoris’s few allies know him as a pitiable and misunderstood figure who only ever wanted to honor his word and do right by his own sense of morality rather than the dictates of his elder brother god king.
From here the plot becomes the typical Army of Good vs. Army of Evil adventure, but with the protagonistic focus on Satoris and his allies. His trolls we see not as a mindless horde but as a simple, honorable people who happily serve their lord because he happily serves them right back. The mad individuals inhabiting his fortress are castaways from normal society with nowhere else to go. And the giant spiders just happen to live there and be bigger than normal, with no sinister intentions beyond that.
And just like that, by actually showing us the home life of the ultimate in evil fantasy tropes, we see how easily one side’s view of evil is another’s view of good. In doing so, Banewreaker becomes perhaps the first sweeping fantasy epic with no real bad guy, just two sides of an unfortunate conflict. Both sides have their likeable characters, both sides seem from their view to be in the right, and pretty soon you, as the reader, will stop cheering for either one, because whenever one person that you like succeeds it means that another person whom you also like is failing.
In fact, the closest thing that this story has to a clearly-labeled “evil” character is the sorceress Lilias, and even then, she’s not evil so much as a woman who has done some bad things for completely understandable reasons. Lilias, in fact, is one of the most pitiful characters in this whole saga of pitiable characters, with her fears and attachments closely mirroring those of most readers, only amplified by her immortality and magical powers. She is afraid of dying. She wants to be more in the grand scheme of things than just another man’s wife or another country’s momentary ruler, both of which would just be tiny moments in a long history. She likes her youth. She likes having pretty things and pretty people around her. And from her interactions with her dragon mentor and apparently only friend, Calandor, we see that she is also capable of intense affection and even love just as she is capable of indulging in self-centered self-interest that, if not particularly a good trait, is also one that she is not alone in possessing.
Banewreaker, then, is a story with a large cast of characters but very few actual heroes or innocents as well as very few outright villains, which is exactly what it sets out to be. Those who love it and those who hate it both seem to blame this quality in particular for their feelings. The biggest complaint leveled against it (that I have read, anyway) is that the people we should be rooting for do not deserve our sympathy, while the people we should be rooting against are more misguided and unwilling to see things in another light than deserving of our scorn.
This is true. But if it’s a flaw, it’s an intentional one. And if it makes you feel like you shouldn’t be cheering for either side at all in this conflict, that’s the point. This is a story of clichés, yes, but it has something that it needs to say about these clichés and, in doing so, about the subjective and impossibly nebulous quality of morality in general.
In short, here again is another fantasy story about the Forces of Good wiping out an entire nation dedicated to their “evil” enemy. And as the story points out, even if you believe in that cause, you’re still wiping out an entire nation of people. No way is there not a downside to that. Seeing things in a black-and-white morality just means crushing a whole lot of important shades of gray underfoot.
Whether or not you like Banewreaker, then, depends in large part upon how much you realize that Carey as an author is being self-aware. As someone who read and still hasn’t stopped being awed over her Kushiel series, I can’t claim complete objectivity in this area, because I came to Banewreaker already in love with her. I can say, however, that unless you have an intense and searing aversion to ornate and sweeping style, this book is worth any fantasy-lover’s time – especially if you’ve ever felt a pang of empathy for all of the poor villainous mooks that fantasy heroes tend to mow down without a thought because they were the wrong kind of ugly.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Tiny Epic Pirates in Tabletop Games
Dec 28, 2021
Gamelyn Games and Scott Almes have done it again. They’ve managed to create yet another Tiny Epic game with a combo of theme and mechanics that we just couldn’t pass up. When this Kickstarter went live, we were definitely auto-backing it. Now that it’s been fulfilled and we’ve had the opportunity to play it, does it meet all of our high hopes and expectations? Is Tiny Epic Pirates a hidden treasure, or is it fool’s gold?
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but rather provide a general overview of the rules and gameplay. -L
Tiny Epic Pirates is a competitive game in which players take on the roles of pirate captains sailing the seas, engaging in combat, trading at various ports, and trying to bury some treasure. Played over a series of rounds, the game ends once a player has buried their 3rd treasure chest. To setup, follow the instructions as detailed in the rulebook – there are simply too many to outline here concisely. Two unique aspects of setup are that the Map cards are shuffled and randomly placed in a 4×4 grid, ensuring a variable setup for each game. The other is that each player will also randomly assign Order tokens on their Wheel (rondel), which means that no two players will have the same setup for a game. Once the Sea has been created, players have prepared their appropriate mats, a market for Booty and Crew have been setup, and tokens/Ships are placed on the map, the game is ready to begin!
Each turn is broken down into 5 steps: Captain’s Order/Deckhands, Sail, Execute Captain’s Order, Trigger Bonus Actions, and Crossing the Ship Line. The first part of every turn is to move your Captain meeple clockwise on your Wheel to select your Captain’s Order for this turn. Moving to the next adjacent space is free, but to skip spaces you must place Deckhand meeples onto the skipped spaces. In future turns, you may have Deckhands coming off the wheel, and you will assign those to other tasks during this step. The next step is to Sail your ship. Every player begins the game with a base speed of 1 Map card, and this can be enhanced throughout gameplay. During this step, you may Sail your ship across Map tiles up to your total allowed distance. After having Sailed, it is time to Execute Captain’s Order. To do this, refer back to your Wheel to see which action your Captain is on, and perform it. Possible actions are to Plunder (steal Booty from settlements), Trade (trade Booty for $ at markets), Crew Up (add up to 4 Crew members to your Ship), Search (gain a one-time benefit from un-searched Map cards), Attack (attack opposing Pirates or Merchant ships at sea), or Hide Out (rest at a Cove and reassign all Deckhands). You may only perform the action that was selected in the Captain’s Order step, regardless of if your placement on a Map card has other actions available.
Once your selected action has been performed, the next step is to Trigger Bonus Actions. Looking at your Captain and Crew cards, if their leftmost icon matches your current Captain’s Order, you may trigger the listed bonus actions. Some bonus actions allow you to perform duplicate Captain’s Orders, but others will earn you money, let you reassign Deckhands, exchange Booty at a different rate, and bury treasure. You don’t need to perform every Bonus Action listed if you so choose, but they may only be performed when their card icon matches your Captain’s Order. The very last step of your turn is to see if you have Crossed the Ship Line. Check your Wheel and see if you have moved from space 5 across the Ship Line to start another circle around the Wheel. If you did not cross the line, then your turn ends and play moves to the next Pirate. If you did cross the Ship Line, then the Merchant and Navy ships will sail a set amount of distance. Merchant ships are simply trying to deliver goods to port, and will be traversing the sea throughout the game. The Navy ship is hunting down Pirates, and will move to attack the current player any time the Ship Line is crossed. When a player has buried their third and final treasure, the round finishes as normal and the game ends. The player who buried all 3 treasures is the winner! In the case of a tie, check the rulebook. 😉
As with most of the Tiny Epic games, I will first start by saying that the size of the box may be small, but the gameplay inside is enormous. There is so much strategy in this one, I think it’s the ‘heaviest’ one in the series so far. You have so many different choices when it comes to strategy, and the gameplay will feel different every time. You could choose to take the offensive and be the aggressor, attacking any and all Ships that you can. Winning combat against Merchant Ships earns you Booty and other resources, while winning combat against opposing Pirates earns you Legend Levels. Your current Legend Level dictates how many spaces you are allowed to Sail, as well as how many dice you can roll during combat. So increasing that level results in better benefits. Maybe you just want to be an honest Pirate and do all of your trading at legal markets, avoiding contact with others and trying to skirt around combat. Maybe you want to try a little of both? The point is, you have choices, and must be able to adapt them based on your opponents’ decisions as well.
A neat element I touched on earlier about this game is the variable setup for each individual player and their Wheel. This really factors into your strategy because you have to know when to use which actions. Do you use a Deckhand to skip a space, or do you burn a turn moving for free to keep that Deckhand right where you want him? And remember, Bonus Actions are only triggered when the matching Captain’s Order is selected, so maybe you have to sacrifice acting in a turn (not being able to perform the selected Captain’s Order) in order to trigger your desired Bonus Action. It’s all about strategy, and that keeps the gameplay engaging at all times.
Just a word of warning though, there is a bit of a learning curve, as there are so many steps and items to consider each turn. Thus the gameplay felt pretty daunting and slow-going my first few plays. But as I became more comfortable with the turn structure and the iconography, it became easier to know what comes next. Another thing to consider is player count. Playing Tiny Epic Pirates at 2 players didn’t really feel that immersive or engaging. With only 2 players on a 4×4 grid, it can be easy to completely avoid each other and skirt around, essentially playing by yourself in a way. With 3 and 4 players, there are more Ships on the map and more opportunities for player interactions and engagement. So it all comes down to what kind of gameplay you want, when selecting your player count.
Components. Again, so far all the Tiny Epic games have had awesome production quality and Tiny Epic Pirates is no exception. The artwork is bright and colorful, the cards and cardboard tokens are sturdy, the meeples are cute, and the actual ships are fun to play with. My only qualms are that two of the player colors – black and blue – are visually similar so in setup it can be tricky to tell them apart. Another qualm is that two of the Booty types (teehee) are a tan and gray color, and the iconography for both on the Map cards are similarly colored. The first few plays I found myself trading the wrong Booty at market because I didn’t check the icon closely enough. These are not game-breakers by any means, but just a heads up so you’re paying attention! As this was a Kickstarter, I did opt for the add-on Pirate Skull dice, and have to honestly say that I prefer the regular game dice better. The ‘knots’ on the corners of the skull dice stop them from continuing to roll, so I felt like I wasn’t really getting a real roll on them. Maybe that’s just my personal opinion, but the regular ol’ game dice are perfectly fine.
How does Tiny Epic Pirates fare in the lineup of the Tiny Epic games? Fairly well, I would say. It’s not one that I would pull out to play with just anybody, as it is a bit of a heavier game, but it is one that I know I would enjoy with my game group. There are a lot of neat elements and mechanics at play here that really work well together and make for an engaging and kind of brain-burning (in a way) game. Although Tiny Epic Pirates might not get as much playtime for me as others in the series, it’s a good one to have and it really embodies the tiny (small box, check) and epic (sweet and strategic gameplay) parts of the title. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a seaworthy 4 / 6.
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but rather provide a general overview of the rules and gameplay. -L
Tiny Epic Pirates is a competitive game in which players take on the roles of pirate captains sailing the seas, engaging in combat, trading at various ports, and trying to bury some treasure. Played over a series of rounds, the game ends once a player has buried their 3rd treasure chest. To setup, follow the instructions as detailed in the rulebook – there are simply too many to outline here concisely. Two unique aspects of setup are that the Map cards are shuffled and randomly placed in a 4×4 grid, ensuring a variable setup for each game. The other is that each player will also randomly assign Order tokens on their Wheel (rondel), which means that no two players will have the same setup for a game. Once the Sea has been created, players have prepared their appropriate mats, a market for Booty and Crew have been setup, and tokens/Ships are placed on the map, the game is ready to begin!
Each turn is broken down into 5 steps: Captain’s Order/Deckhands, Sail, Execute Captain’s Order, Trigger Bonus Actions, and Crossing the Ship Line. The first part of every turn is to move your Captain meeple clockwise on your Wheel to select your Captain’s Order for this turn. Moving to the next adjacent space is free, but to skip spaces you must place Deckhand meeples onto the skipped spaces. In future turns, you may have Deckhands coming off the wheel, and you will assign those to other tasks during this step. The next step is to Sail your ship. Every player begins the game with a base speed of 1 Map card, and this can be enhanced throughout gameplay. During this step, you may Sail your ship across Map tiles up to your total allowed distance. After having Sailed, it is time to Execute Captain’s Order. To do this, refer back to your Wheel to see which action your Captain is on, and perform it. Possible actions are to Plunder (steal Booty from settlements), Trade (trade Booty for $ at markets), Crew Up (add up to 4 Crew members to your Ship), Search (gain a one-time benefit from un-searched Map cards), Attack (attack opposing Pirates or Merchant ships at sea), or Hide Out (rest at a Cove and reassign all Deckhands). You may only perform the action that was selected in the Captain’s Order step, regardless of if your placement on a Map card has other actions available.
Once your selected action has been performed, the next step is to Trigger Bonus Actions. Looking at your Captain and Crew cards, if their leftmost icon matches your current Captain’s Order, you may trigger the listed bonus actions. Some bonus actions allow you to perform duplicate Captain’s Orders, but others will earn you money, let you reassign Deckhands, exchange Booty at a different rate, and bury treasure. You don’t need to perform every Bonus Action listed if you so choose, but they may only be performed when their card icon matches your Captain’s Order. The very last step of your turn is to see if you have Crossed the Ship Line. Check your Wheel and see if you have moved from space 5 across the Ship Line to start another circle around the Wheel. If you did not cross the line, then your turn ends and play moves to the next Pirate. If you did cross the Ship Line, then the Merchant and Navy ships will sail a set amount of distance. Merchant ships are simply trying to deliver goods to port, and will be traversing the sea throughout the game. The Navy ship is hunting down Pirates, and will move to attack the current player any time the Ship Line is crossed. When a player has buried their third and final treasure, the round finishes as normal and the game ends. The player who buried all 3 treasures is the winner! In the case of a tie, check the rulebook. 😉
As with most of the Tiny Epic games, I will first start by saying that the size of the box may be small, but the gameplay inside is enormous. There is so much strategy in this one, I think it’s the ‘heaviest’ one in the series so far. You have so many different choices when it comes to strategy, and the gameplay will feel different every time. You could choose to take the offensive and be the aggressor, attacking any and all Ships that you can. Winning combat against Merchant Ships earns you Booty and other resources, while winning combat against opposing Pirates earns you Legend Levels. Your current Legend Level dictates how many spaces you are allowed to Sail, as well as how many dice you can roll during combat. So increasing that level results in better benefits. Maybe you just want to be an honest Pirate and do all of your trading at legal markets, avoiding contact with others and trying to skirt around combat. Maybe you want to try a little of both? The point is, you have choices, and must be able to adapt them based on your opponents’ decisions as well.
A neat element I touched on earlier about this game is the variable setup for each individual player and their Wheel. This really factors into your strategy because you have to know when to use which actions. Do you use a Deckhand to skip a space, or do you burn a turn moving for free to keep that Deckhand right where you want him? And remember, Bonus Actions are only triggered when the matching Captain’s Order is selected, so maybe you have to sacrifice acting in a turn (not being able to perform the selected Captain’s Order) in order to trigger your desired Bonus Action. It’s all about strategy, and that keeps the gameplay engaging at all times.
Just a word of warning though, there is a bit of a learning curve, as there are so many steps and items to consider each turn. Thus the gameplay felt pretty daunting and slow-going my first few plays. But as I became more comfortable with the turn structure and the iconography, it became easier to know what comes next. Another thing to consider is player count. Playing Tiny Epic Pirates at 2 players didn’t really feel that immersive or engaging. With only 2 players on a 4×4 grid, it can be easy to completely avoid each other and skirt around, essentially playing by yourself in a way. With 3 and 4 players, there are more Ships on the map and more opportunities for player interactions and engagement. So it all comes down to what kind of gameplay you want, when selecting your player count.
Components. Again, so far all the Tiny Epic games have had awesome production quality and Tiny Epic Pirates is no exception. The artwork is bright and colorful, the cards and cardboard tokens are sturdy, the meeples are cute, and the actual ships are fun to play with. My only qualms are that two of the player colors – black and blue – are visually similar so in setup it can be tricky to tell them apart. Another qualm is that two of the Booty types (teehee) are a tan and gray color, and the iconography for both on the Map cards are similarly colored. The first few plays I found myself trading the wrong Booty at market because I didn’t check the icon closely enough. These are not game-breakers by any means, but just a heads up so you’re paying attention! As this was a Kickstarter, I did opt for the add-on Pirate Skull dice, and have to honestly say that I prefer the regular game dice better. The ‘knots’ on the corners of the skull dice stop them from continuing to roll, so I felt like I wasn’t really getting a real roll on them. Maybe that’s just my personal opinion, but the regular ol’ game dice are perfectly fine.
How does Tiny Epic Pirates fare in the lineup of the Tiny Epic games? Fairly well, I would say. It’s not one that I would pull out to play with just anybody, as it is a bit of a heavier game, but it is one that I know I would enjoy with my game group. There are a lot of neat elements and mechanics at play here that really work well together and make for an engaging and kind of brain-burning (in a way) game. Although Tiny Epic Pirates might not get as much playtime for me as others in the series, it’s a good one to have and it really embodies the tiny (small box, check) and epic (sweet and strategic gameplay) parts of the title. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a seaworthy 4 / 6.
Mandy and G.D. Burkhead (26 KP) rated The Grey Bastards in Books
May 20, 2018
Shelf Life – The Grey Bastards Exemplifies Grimdark Fantasy at Its Damn Finest
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Grey Bastards is a fun, foul-mouthed read. If you’re turned off by bad language, steamy sex, or a good plot with plenty of action and twists, then this book isn’t for you. The Grey Bastards falls into the fantasy sub-genre known as grimdark. Where high fantasy has your Tolkien beautiful and noble elves, dwarves, humans, and wizards with epic battles between good and evil, grimdark takes all of that and covers it in shit, pus, and blood. Notice how in high fantasy nobody ever takes a piss or fucks? In grimdark, everyone does.
But don’t be fooled into thinking this book will be any less intelligent, epic, or heartfelt for it. The Grey Bastards is all of that and more. The novel follows Jackal, a half-breed orc living in the Lot Lands, the barren desert wasteland of Hispartha. He is a Grey Bastard, one of many half-orc hoofs, each protecting its own small town in the Lots. Members of a hoof are elite warriors that ride out on their Barbarians—giant warthogs—and slaughter invading bands of orcs.
Hispartha is a vibrant world, with a mix of fantastical species (orcs, half-orcs, elves, humans, halflings, and centaurs) with unique cultures and religions. Hispartha itself takes influences from Reconquista Spain, which is especially noticeable in the nomenclature, geography, and architecture.
The primarily atheistic half-orcs recently won their freedom from slavery at the hands of humans. Humans treat the half-orcs like second-class citizens, but tolerate them because of their strength, using them as a shield from the orcs. The elves are beautiful, reclusive, and probably the most cliché; there is one important elf character, but for the most part, we don’t get a good look into their culture in the first book. The centaurs worship Romanesque deities and go on crazed, Bacchanalian killing sprees during the blood moon.
Besides the half-orcs, the halflings are perhaps the most interesting. I still have a hard time visualizing them, trying to figure out if they are thin, pixie-like creatures or more stocky like dwarves. Their small stature and black skin makes me think of pygmies. They worship a god they expect will reincarnate someday, (view spoiler)
One thing that has always annoyed me about fantasy is that many authors feel that the characters of their world, being pre-industrial and thus “medieval,” must all be white, straight, Christian (or proto-Christian), cisgender males. If a woman appears at all is to act as the damsel, prize, or, if she’s lucky, a mystical enchantress to guide the heroes or provide a maguffin. It has come to the point in which this has become a tired and accepted baseline for fantasy. I don’t necessarily think that these fantasy authors are intentionally trying to be uninclusive, so much as they just seem to forget that other groups of people can exist in fantasy thanks to its fathers, Tolkien and Lewis.
But enough with my rant, the purpose of which is to highlight why I am often drawn to grimdark fantasy: at the very least I know that women, people of color, lgbt people, and other religions will be present, even if they are often victimized. This is because grimdark fantasy honestly depicts the horrors of rape, war, murder, slavery, and racism (or rather, speciesism in most cases) and has heroes and villains that are morally grey.
However, many authors describe these atrocities and then leave it at that, assuming that simply depicting them is enough to make a book mature and meaningful. They often fail to make any sort of statement on evil, and thus can seem to be, at best, blindly accepting it and, at worst, glorifying it (this often happens in the cases of magnificent bastard characters, who are absolute monsters but are so charming you almost respect or like them).
Jonathan French, however, does not fall short of the mark as many authors do, and for two main reasons: humor and humanity.
Let’s start with the humor. This book is hilarious. I mean in the I literally laughed out loud while reading it way. Sure, the jokes are often crass, but I have a dirty mind, so inappropriate humor is my favorite kind. The dialogue is especially top-notch, and the interactions between Jackal and his friends Fetching and Oats feel genuine, full of in-jokes, insults, and sexually-charged humor, all of which are exactly how I interact with my own close friends. And every major character in this book is so damn witty that I’m honestly jealous of them. If I could be quick enough to make even one of their zingers at the right time in a conversation, I would feel proud of myself for the rest of the day.
Humor is necessary to prevent any grimdark fantasy from becoming too over-the-top or depressing. And honestly, humor is needed most when the world is a dark and frightening place. But too much humor could accidentally downplay the point of grimdark: the brutally honest depiction of the atrocities that people are capable of.
And this is where it is important to have an element of humanity. By this I mean that the “good guys” must make some action or statement on those atrocities. Too often I read or watch hardened badass characters with no emotion who can watch a person get tortured and killed without flinching (maybe even do it themselves) and who never stop to question the nature of their society (even as part of their character growth), and I have difficulty finding them at all relatable or even the least bit interesting.
Now, often for this type of character, he or she is dead inside as a coping mechanism and part of their character arc is learning to allow themselves to feel their repressed emotions: heartbreak, anger, fear, etc. This can be done very well (see The Hunger Games for a great example—dystopian scifi and grimdark fantasy have very similar undertones). But most times it just ends up falling flat.
But Jackal already starts out with more personality than most grimdark protagonists. He is a humorous and light-hearted person. Sure, he lives in a desert wasteland, his race is entirely created by rape, he’s treated as a second-class citizen, and his life and the lives of those around him are in constant danger of rape and/or murder by invading orcs or blood-crazed centaurs. But despite all of that, he still has a sense of humor, people he loves, a community, ambitions, moral code, and all of the other things that these protagonists are often lacking.
Don’t get me wrong, he can be an asshole, and he’s often acts rashly before he thinks. But the scene that really stuck with me the most was [when Jackal and the wizard Crafty come across an unconscious elf sex-slave. I was expecting him to say something along the lines of “There’s nothing we can do for her, we have to save ourselves” or “This isn’t any of our business” or “It would be best to just put her out of her mercy.” These are the typical lines that a grimdark protagonist might utter while their companion—accused of being a bleeding heart—frees the slave. But this was not the case. Jackal and Crafty both immediately set out to free the girl and steal her away from her owner, despite the danger to themselves. And when he comes across an entire castle-full of these women, Jackal again sets about freeing them without a moment’s hesitation. (hide spoiler)]
And it’s no surprise that Jackal has a serious problem with rape. As I’ve mentioned before, half-orcs are entirely the product of roving bands of orcs raping human, elven, or even half-orc women. [When Jackal learns that Starling, the elf slave he rescued, is pregnant with a half-orc baby, he is not only furious with the orcs that gang-raped her, but also disturbed by the fact that elven society shuns any of their women who have been raped, and that these victims often end up taking their own lives rather than give birth to an impure half-elf. (hide spoiler)]
Furthermore, Jackal, unlike many people in Hispartha, does not buy into misogyny or sexism. His best friend Fetching is the first female half-orc to have joined a group of riders. Not only does Jackal respect Fetching, he understands the emotional turmoil that she is dealing with being the first female rider and how she overcompensates as a result to earn the respect of the other men.
While there is quite a bit of speciesism (pretty much none of the species get along with one another), the inhabitants of Hispartha come in every skin color and nobody gives a damn. Furthermore, sexuality is primarily treated as each person’s individual preference and nobody else’s business. While characters may make jokes about acting “backy” (gay), these are made in good humor between friends, and nobody gets particularly offended by them. Fetching is herself openly bisexual (though she seems to suppress her heterosexual desires more than her homosexual ones out of that same need to be “one of the boys”), and Oats and Jackal are one of my favorite bromantic pairings.
Grimdark fantasy can often be depressing to read. But Jonathan French does an excellent job of infusing hope into his narrative. The story actually has a happier ending than I was expecting. [I was especially pleased when Jackal chooses Fetching to be the new leader of the hoof (she is voted in unanimously by the other riders). I find it incredibly annoying in books and movies when revolutionaries/usurpers decide to appoint themselves leaders, as the former does not qualify you for the latter. Part of Jackal’s arc is realizing that he is not meant to lead the hoof like he’d once desired. (hide spoiler)]
For the sequel, The True Bastards, I’m hoping to see [if a cure can be found for the thrice-blood child now infected with plague, how Fetching is doing leading the hoof, and what the mysterious Starling is up to (I don’t buy for a second that she’s killed herself). And of course, I fully expect that Jackal is going to have to fulfill his empty promise to the halfling’s resurrected god, Belico.
But don’t be fooled into thinking this book will be any less intelligent, epic, or heartfelt for it. The Grey Bastards is all of that and more. The novel follows Jackal, a half-breed orc living in the Lot Lands, the barren desert wasteland of Hispartha. He is a Grey Bastard, one of many half-orc hoofs, each protecting its own small town in the Lots. Members of a hoof are elite warriors that ride out on their Barbarians—giant warthogs—and slaughter invading bands of orcs.
Hispartha is a vibrant world, with a mix of fantastical species (orcs, half-orcs, elves, humans, halflings, and centaurs) with unique cultures and religions. Hispartha itself takes influences from Reconquista Spain, which is especially noticeable in the nomenclature, geography, and architecture.
The primarily atheistic half-orcs recently won their freedom from slavery at the hands of humans. Humans treat the half-orcs like second-class citizens, but tolerate them because of their strength, using them as a shield from the orcs. The elves are beautiful, reclusive, and probably the most cliché; there is one important elf character, but for the most part, we don’t get a good look into their culture in the first book. The centaurs worship Romanesque deities and go on crazed, Bacchanalian killing sprees during the blood moon.
Besides the half-orcs, the halflings are perhaps the most interesting. I still have a hard time visualizing them, trying to figure out if they are thin, pixie-like creatures or more stocky like dwarves. Their small stature and black skin makes me think of pygmies. They worship a god they expect will reincarnate someday, (view spoiler)
One thing that has always annoyed me about fantasy is that many authors feel that the characters of their world, being pre-industrial and thus “medieval,” must all be white, straight, Christian (or proto-Christian), cisgender males. If a woman appears at all is to act as the damsel, prize, or, if she’s lucky, a mystical enchantress to guide the heroes or provide a maguffin. It has come to the point in which this has become a tired and accepted baseline for fantasy. I don’t necessarily think that these fantasy authors are intentionally trying to be uninclusive, so much as they just seem to forget that other groups of people can exist in fantasy thanks to its fathers, Tolkien and Lewis.
But enough with my rant, the purpose of which is to highlight why I am often drawn to grimdark fantasy: at the very least I know that women, people of color, lgbt people, and other religions will be present, even if they are often victimized. This is because grimdark fantasy honestly depicts the horrors of rape, war, murder, slavery, and racism (or rather, speciesism in most cases) and has heroes and villains that are morally grey.
However, many authors describe these atrocities and then leave it at that, assuming that simply depicting them is enough to make a book mature and meaningful. They often fail to make any sort of statement on evil, and thus can seem to be, at best, blindly accepting it and, at worst, glorifying it (this often happens in the cases of magnificent bastard characters, who are absolute monsters but are so charming you almost respect or like them).
Jonathan French, however, does not fall short of the mark as many authors do, and for two main reasons: humor and humanity.
Let’s start with the humor. This book is hilarious. I mean in the I literally laughed out loud while reading it way. Sure, the jokes are often crass, but I have a dirty mind, so inappropriate humor is my favorite kind. The dialogue is especially top-notch, and the interactions between Jackal and his friends Fetching and Oats feel genuine, full of in-jokes, insults, and sexually-charged humor, all of which are exactly how I interact with my own close friends. And every major character in this book is so damn witty that I’m honestly jealous of them. If I could be quick enough to make even one of their zingers at the right time in a conversation, I would feel proud of myself for the rest of the day.
Humor is necessary to prevent any grimdark fantasy from becoming too over-the-top or depressing. And honestly, humor is needed most when the world is a dark and frightening place. But too much humor could accidentally downplay the point of grimdark: the brutally honest depiction of the atrocities that people are capable of.
And this is where it is important to have an element of humanity. By this I mean that the “good guys” must make some action or statement on those atrocities. Too often I read or watch hardened badass characters with no emotion who can watch a person get tortured and killed without flinching (maybe even do it themselves) and who never stop to question the nature of their society (even as part of their character growth), and I have difficulty finding them at all relatable or even the least bit interesting.
Now, often for this type of character, he or she is dead inside as a coping mechanism and part of their character arc is learning to allow themselves to feel their repressed emotions: heartbreak, anger, fear, etc. This can be done very well (see The Hunger Games for a great example—dystopian scifi and grimdark fantasy have very similar undertones). But most times it just ends up falling flat.
But Jackal already starts out with more personality than most grimdark protagonists. He is a humorous and light-hearted person. Sure, he lives in a desert wasteland, his race is entirely created by rape, he’s treated as a second-class citizen, and his life and the lives of those around him are in constant danger of rape and/or murder by invading orcs or blood-crazed centaurs. But despite all of that, he still has a sense of humor, people he loves, a community, ambitions, moral code, and all of the other things that these protagonists are often lacking.
Don’t get me wrong, he can be an asshole, and he’s often acts rashly before he thinks. But the scene that really stuck with me the most was [when Jackal and the wizard Crafty come across an unconscious elf sex-slave. I was expecting him to say something along the lines of “There’s nothing we can do for her, we have to save ourselves” or “This isn’t any of our business” or “It would be best to just put her out of her mercy.” These are the typical lines that a grimdark protagonist might utter while their companion—accused of being a bleeding heart—frees the slave. But this was not the case. Jackal and Crafty both immediately set out to free the girl and steal her away from her owner, despite the danger to themselves. And when he comes across an entire castle-full of these women, Jackal again sets about freeing them without a moment’s hesitation. (hide spoiler)]
And it’s no surprise that Jackal has a serious problem with rape. As I’ve mentioned before, half-orcs are entirely the product of roving bands of orcs raping human, elven, or even half-orc women. [When Jackal learns that Starling, the elf slave he rescued, is pregnant with a half-orc baby, he is not only furious with the orcs that gang-raped her, but also disturbed by the fact that elven society shuns any of their women who have been raped, and that these victims often end up taking their own lives rather than give birth to an impure half-elf. (hide spoiler)]
Furthermore, Jackal, unlike many people in Hispartha, does not buy into misogyny or sexism. His best friend Fetching is the first female half-orc to have joined a group of riders. Not only does Jackal respect Fetching, he understands the emotional turmoil that she is dealing with being the first female rider and how she overcompensates as a result to earn the respect of the other men.
While there is quite a bit of speciesism (pretty much none of the species get along with one another), the inhabitants of Hispartha come in every skin color and nobody gives a damn. Furthermore, sexuality is primarily treated as each person’s individual preference and nobody else’s business. While characters may make jokes about acting “backy” (gay), these are made in good humor between friends, and nobody gets particularly offended by them. Fetching is herself openly bisexual (though she seems to suppress her heterosexual desires more than her homosexual ones out of that same need to be “one of the boys”), and Oats and Jackal are one of my favorite bromantic pairings.
Grimdark fantasy can often be depressing to read. But Jonathan French does an excellent job of infusing hope into his narrative. The story actually has a happier ending than I was expecting. [I was especially pleased when Jackal chooses Fetching to be the new leader of the hoof (she is voted in unanimously by the other riders). I find it incredibly annoying in books and movies when revolutionaries/usurpers decide to appoint themselves leaders, as the former does not qualify you for the latter. Part of Jackal’s arc is realizing that he is not meant to lead the hoof like he’d once desired. (hide spoiler)]
For the sequel, The True Bastards, I’m hoping to see [if a cure can be found for the thrice-blood child now infected with plague, how Fetching is doing leading the hoof, and what the mysterious Starling is up to (I don’t buy for a second that she’s killed herself). And of course, I fully expect that Jackal is going to have to fulfill his empty promise to the halfling’s resurrected god, Belico.
Versusyours (757 KP) rated Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019) in Movies
Dec 30, 2019 (Updated Dec 30, 2019)
Another film ruined by Endgame's splendour
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Rise of Skywalker
Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.
With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.
I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.
Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.
With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.
I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.