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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Tomb Raider (2018) in Movies

Mar 22, 2018 (Updated Mar 22, 2018)  
Tomb Raider (2018)
Tomb Raider (2018)
2018 | Action, Adventure
Decent SFX (0 more)
Dumb Flashbacks (0 more)
An Uninspired Take On the Iconic Character
This is the greatest video game movie ever made.
Now, I know what you are thinking, "Dan, you scored this thing a 6, you can't open your review with a statement like that!" Well the thing is, every other video game movie is so shit, that this mediocre action adventure flick is the gold standard in comparison.

If you played the 2013 Tomb Raider reboot game, then you will see a lot of similarities here, except most of it isn't done as well as it was done in the game. First of all, they spend far too much time following Lara in London before she goes on her adventure. For some reason she lives a poor life as a delivery girl that can't even afford to pay her gym membership, even though she has a massive fortune of inheritance money sitting there, that is hers once she signs off on her father's death certificate. Her dad is played by Dominic West, who is one of my favourite actors, but unfortunately he is kind of wasted here. He went missing seven years ago and is the catalyst for Lara's adventure to begin.

So she goes to Thailand to look for the guy that her dad bought the boat from to go to the remote island with the treasure on it. The guy she finds from Into The Badlands, turns out to be his son and he agrees to help her for some cash. He is actually pretty enjoyable in the movie and probably does a better job selling his character than his Oscar winning co-star, but we will get back to that later. So the two of them go to this remote island and a storm hits the boat, forcing the two of them overboard. Lara wakes up with Walton Goggins' character Mathias holding her at gun point. Mathias is nothing like he was in the game, where he was a mad priest type character, here he is a tired faithless mercenary that just wants to get the job done and go home. Walton Goggins, who again is one of my favourite actors, does his best with the material that he is giving, the issue being that the material is pretty garbage, which is the case for this movie's script in general. From here, Lara goes through the motions of becoming more of a badass survivor. This leads us into some exciting action set pieces that call back to the original game and are probably the best parts of the movie, so I won't spoil them here.

Let's talk about Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft. I have liked Alicia Vikander in every other role that I have seen her in and I was looking forward to seeing her performance as this iconic character. However, she just doesn't sell the character for me. I'm not sure if it's the material that the filmmakers gave her to work with, but she is totally underwhelming and never defines the character in any major way or makes it her own. You could have cast any young actress in this role and you would have gotten the same result. The other rumoured names before Vikander was officially cast were Emelia Clarke and Daisey Ridley. Any one of those would yielded the exact same results meaning that while Vikander was perfectly serviceable, she brought nothing special or original to the role.

Next I want to cover some of the movie's technical elements. The special effects were actually pretty impressive overall. The CGI backdrops all looked pretty convincing and even the character animation that was sprinkled in here and there looked pretty good and didn't distract or take me out of the movie too much. However, everything else was totally unremarkable. From the direction, to the lighting, to the cinematography, to the score, it was all just passable and nothing more.

Before I conclude this review, I want to briefly touch on something that this movie does that I hate seeing in movies. For some reason this movie repeatedly shows us flashbacks of something that happened just minutes beforehand. It is so frustrating and totally breaks the pace of the movie. It also feels as if the filmmakers are treating their audience like complete idiots that can't piece their predictable plot together without explicitly spelling it out by showing us the same flashback for the fourth time. Hollywood please stop doing this, it totally breaks any flow that your movie almost had and is so painfully unnecessary it hurts, give us some credit as moviegoers.

Overall, this is a decent action adventure romp that works okay if you don't think about it too much. It isn't anything special in any way and doesn't do anything that hasn't been done better by another franchise before. You will have a decent time with this as long as you don't expect something that is going to bring the video game movie into legendary status.
  
Roma (2018)
Roma (2018)
2018 | Drama
Amazing performances by leading actresses (0 more)
Left far too little on the cutting room floor (0 more)
Caught in a bad Roma
Contains spoilers, click to show
It’s been a long while since I watched a film deserving of a truly, harshly negative review. I have gotten so close so many times, and I’ll be damned if Netflix hadn’t gotten close to earning that with the fridge-logic that ruined Bird Box. Even Bird Box, though, feels enjoyable in retrospect compared to another Netflix exclusive: Alfonso Cuarón’s Roma.
Since I’m in a clear minority on this film, I feel obligated to preemptively address some common criticisms. If Roma had been produced in English, presented in color and with any score, it couldn’t fix the fact that I simply dislike Roma’s genre. Sure, I’ve liked slice-of-life drama films, and modern period pieces do fine by me. Pretentious Oscar-farming arthouse flicks like this, though, never win my praise.
Roma follows Cleo, a housemaid in Mexico City. Cleo has gotten pregnant and the presumed father, Fermín, leaves her to buy cigarettes before the baby’s even born. Her employer, Sofía, is dealing with a cheating spouse. What follows is two hours of both of these women marginally helping each other with their respective situations. As slice-of-life films do.
Since it's a slice-of-life film, much of the story just basically happens. You'll remember a scene here or there that happened, even if it was ultimately insignificant. In one scene for instance, Cleo goes to confront the baby daddy, who’s at a huge martial arts class. She spectates and proves to be the only one able to perform a certain yoga pose. Which is important because it helped add another few minutes to the film.
Cleo goes into labor not long after this confrontation, but her daughter ends up being stillborn. This all happens in the midst of the Corpus Christi Massacre. What the heck was the Corpus Christi Massacre, you may ask? According to this film, it was a brutal inconvenience on Cleo’s way to the hospital after her water breaks. This actual historical event simply happens and is never addressed for one second more. You know, just like in Titanic where the shipwreck just makes things inconvenient for Rose and Jack.
The last major scene in the film comes when Sofía invites Cleo to come with her family on a trip to the beach, not as staff but to help Cleo cope with the tragedy of losing her child. While they’re there, Sofía leaves the children in Cleo’s care for two freaking minutes, and two of the kids nearly drown. Cleo, though, can’t swim, and so she stands out in the water as the kids rescue each other. And that's about as close as Roma gets to a cohesive plot. Cleo only came with them to help her grieving, which meant she could be there to be powerless while her employer’s kids save each other’s lives. Bad things happen to us, the film teaches, so that good things can coincidentally happen in our proximity.
In fact, coincidence seems to be the running theme, here. Remember the Corpus Christi Massacre? No? What if I call it “the scene where Cleo goes into labor”? Maybe that helps? Fermín briefly held Cleo at gunpoint in the middle of it. Again, mere coincidence. Just like it’s a mere coincidence that she goes into labor the same day as a massacre that killed 120 people. As coincidences do.
Roma isn’t an aggressively bad film. There are a rare few moments within Roma’s 2-hour runtime where you think, “I can see that clip showing up during a Facebook video binge,” but again: These are moments more rare than our current president ordering a rare steak. That rarity has everything to do with the fact that the movie has so few moments, at all. The rest is shots that linger too long from angles that repeat themselves all too often. It’s like Cuarón asked someone, “What does a movie like Juno need to be better?” They responded, “Nothing.” So Cuarón packed Roma with nothing.
Which brings up one of my biggest criticisms of Roma: The cinematography is bland. Cuarón shot practically the entire film on one camera, set a specific distance from the subject, and kept takes running as longer than they should have, padding out a short-film’s worth of content to feature length. It’s bland cinematography that somehow earned an Oscar for Best Cinematography.
Gravity showed us what Cuarón was capable of. Beyond bringing a seemingly authentic view of space to the big screen, Gravity offered variety. Yes, the huge collision scene in Gravity takes on the feel of a one-take scene, but even then, the camera moves with the action. And if your attention moves away from the foreground the shot, you’re able to see other important things going on. With Roma, though, your foreground is your film. Period. And to be sure, you'll be kept at arm's length from that foreground at all times, both metaphorically and cinematically.
There's a number of reasons why Roma wasn't the Best Picture, this year. Gravity proved that Roma is not Cuarón’s best film. Bo Burnham–yes, that Bo Burnham–wrote and directed a better slice-of-life film with Eighth Grade. And Roma might not even be the past year’s best black-and-white film; I dare suggest that Cold War may have been better.
To give it the credit it’s due, Roma’s cast rightly earned nominations for their performances. Yalitza Aparicio and Marina de Tavira earned Best Actress nominations for their roles, and for their part, their performances were authentic as can be. It's the least the Academy could do for having them endure Cuarón's lengthy takes.
But now that I've given it credit, I demand my time back for the scene of Fermín going Star Wars Kid meets Full Monty.
  
Conference Cupid
Conference Cupid
Eden Elgabri | 2012 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry, Romance
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Genre: Contemporary

Word Count: 19,780

Average Smashwords Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

My Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Get Conference Cupid free on Smashwords.

I’m still trying to catch my breath from reading Conference Cupid by Eden Elgabri. The sex and the romance is a huge whirlwind that left me wanting even more. But I’m still not sure why I liked it so much.

Devin Barnett can’t believe it when he sees his old high school crush walk into his hotel for the romance writers conference. She’s just as beautiful as he remembers, but he doubts she will recognize him. After all, he was just a skinny nerd in high school. He certainly never would have entered her radar. But maybe he can finally have her.


Keary hasn’t been with anyone since her divorce a year ago and she is used to being alone. But she can’t resist the sexy hotel worker who only has eyes for her. Little does she know that he’s known her for a long time and isn’t really a hotel worker, but the owner of the hotel.

Oh man. There is so much to love about this story. Despite his money, success, and looks, Devin immediately becomes an insecure shy guy whenever he is with Keary. All he really wants to do is worship her, and he knows he’ll daydream about her after the conference.

It became critical that he learn where she did her writing. He needed to be able to imagine her in that room. His heart hitched. He needed to be able to imagine her there after she left the conference, when she went home to her real life.

I also like that Keary doesn’t know she’s that great. She’s insecure after her divorce and is a little shy and unsure around Devin in the beginning. Together they have amazing chemistry and really hot sex scenes. Devin continues to worship her and Keary loves having someone who cares so much about her after an empty marriage.

But there were some things about both of them that I didn’t like. Devin does lie to her, after all. When the conference is coming to an end and he knows he’ll never see her again, he tries to impregnate her and trap her that way. What the hell, Devin? You were pretty great until then. Then he practically pressured her into unprotected sex, didn’t pull out like he said he would, and hoped she would get pregnant so she would stay with him. Seriously, WTF?

I’m annoyed at Keary but her criminal act is being rude to the staff at the hotel. When the receptionist tells her her hotel room has been upgraded to a regency suite and that all of her things have been moved for her, Keary glares at her and says she doesn’t like people touching her stuff. As if the poor girl had personally gone into Keary’s room and tried on her underwear. She stalks off without so much as a thank you, planning on complaining to the management. For a complimentary room upgrade. Just because she didn’t like the idea of some bored hotel staff, who couldn’t care less about going through her personal items, moving her bags from one room to another. Of course all her complaints disappear when she sees all the luxury perks that come with the upgrade.

If Keary and Devin had the ability to behave like responsible adults, their falling out would not have happened. But despite all of the unsettling character flaws in Devin and Keary, I still liked this book and I wish there was more. And that takes a lot of talented writing.
  
Divinus
Divinus
2022 | Dice Game, Fantasy, Mythology
Bragi. Hercules. Percy Jackson. All excellent examples of successful demigods. As you well know, demigods are offspring of a god and a mortal. Of all the things I have conjured in my lifetime to answer the old, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” question, I never really answered, “a demigod.” Well, that’s because I KNOW my parents and have a hard time believing I could be a son of a god or goddess. Unless it was some weird NPCs (novel series by Drew Hayes) universe with Grumble as my patron/parent. In any case, my new dream of becoming the greatest demigod alive must be played out in today’s preview: Divinus.

Divinus is a competitive tile placement, campaign, drafting, dice game in which players assume the roles of upcoming demigods fighting over the one last spot at the table. By appeasing the gods of the warring ancient Roman and Norse cultures players will earn their place among them. This game uses some interesting hybrid app-driven story mechanics along with legacy-style component alterations to create this world that is constantly under refurbishment and ripe for the claiming of the future Divinus.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Gamefound campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup, place the main board on the table, sort out the Map tiles by player count, and populate the board per the rulebook. Each player chooses their Demigod box and takes all components contained within. As Divinus is intended to be played either as a scenario session or its Eternal Mode, which is infinitely replayable using the board and components already altered by previously-played scenarios, open the chosen Scenario Box to be played and allow the app to instruct on how to setup with these components. All players roll their dice and place them in the “ready” pile to be used on their first turn. The first player takes the token (a black meeple in the prototype version) and the game is ready to be played!
Divinus is played in turns starting with the first player and continuing around the table until one player places their final Map tile signaling the end of the game. On a turn, players will have a choice of using an Explore action or a Rest action. More actions may be available in future scenarios, but for the prototype scenarios, these are the two available choices. During an Explore action, the active player will choose any number of their rolled dice in order to create a mathematical equation that matches with one of the Map tiles on the main board. These spaces range from 1-12 in value, so an appropriate dice combination could be 5 + 4 – 1 = 8 in order to claim the Map tile on the 8 spot. Any number of dice can be used to claim tiles, and once a tile is claimed, it must be placed within the player’s personal play area map. In order to add these tiles, the edges will need to match up by terrain type with tiles already presently in play (see below), or may also be placed atop an existing tile. Map tiles may or may not contain symbols for factions, locations, and also Sacred Places. These will all be used in scenarios for different purposes.

Once a player decides they do not wish to (or cannot) take more Explore actions, they must Rest. To Rest, the active player reclaims all spent (and unspent ready) dice and rerolls them for the next turn, replacing empty spaces on the board with new Map tiles.


Play continues in this fashion of Exploring and Resting until one player places their 16th tile, thus completing their 4×4 personal map. Players will consult the app for scoring instructions and the winner will be announced. Should the players wish to play another scenario (or many, as we would have liked), they simply use the same Demigods and open a new Scenario Box. Inside these boxes are different gods to appease, new quests to fulfill (more on these later), and stickers to be applied to game components to improve their usefulness.
Components. Again, this is a prototype version of the game, and it includes two introductory scenarios, a bunch of sticker sheets, and a developmental app. That said, I really enjoyed my plays of the scenarios and they felt like great first steps to lure me into what I just know is going to be somewhat of a lifestyle game (assuming more and more expansions are in the plans). The sticker sheets are all fine, and as I understand it, the stickers that are placed on the Map tiles will have non-removable glue, but the stickers placed on the dice faces will have removable glue. As I am not a glue expert, I can’t really vouch for either. The app is somewhat similar to those that are used in the Chronicles of Crime series, but Divinus promises to deliver an app that can scan the components WITHOUT the use of QR codes. For those gamers who think the QRs are an eye-sore, then Divinus is taking a promising first step for you! I haven’t even touched on the artwork yet, and that’s usually my favorite aspect of a game’s components. The visual style and art on Divinus really make the game pop on the table, and just draw you into the lore and setting. I love it!

So while initially Divinus is a simple roll-and-draft game of building a 4×4 grid akin to Kingdomino, the addition and usage of the Quests and, later, the Charge Actions, morph this into something quite a bit meatier. Each Scenario Box (at least in this version) contains two god cards (that affect how the end of the scenario is scored) and some Quest cards (that are side-quests players can follow to earn some extra VP and other goodies). I imagine as the game progresses through Scenario Boxes that Quests will get more difficult and the god cards more interesting as well.

All in all Divinus has roped me in, and I am very much looking forward to all the other great things that Lucky Duck Games has planned for it. I can foresee soooooo many expansions being built on this excellent chassis, and I am very eager to finish the entire legacy aspect in order to play through the Eternal Mode a bunch of times. Can I divulge a little dirty secret of mine here? I have never before played any type of legacy board game, and if this is what they are like, then I will be breaking out my copy of Betrayal Legacy way sooner than I originally planned.

I believe that the theming here is great, the gameplay is relatively simple to grasp, and the hybrid app-driven story really adds to the entire experience. If you are someone who, like me, has yet to delve into legacy-style games where the components are constantly changing due to choices made at the table, and you have a penchant for dice games with a splash of ACTUAL math skills used, I urge you to take a look at backing Divinus on Gamefound ASAP. With just the initial two scenarios included, I am already addicted to the game and cannot wait to sink my teeth into more scenarios and more crucial decisions that will alter the landscape of my copy of the game. I know that as of the publish date of this preview, the campaign is already about 1000% funded and so many stretch goals have already been unlocked. It is a great time to hop on board and grab a big ol’ chunk of goodies for this one. You may have a preference for Roman or Norse mythology before playing, but be warned: your loyalties may change as a result of playing Divinus… or maybe you will learn to accept both at the harmonious center of activity in your own little section of the world.
  
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
2018 | Action, Sci-Fi
Solo? So-so.
When the whole Disney “broaden out the Star Wars universe” thing was first mooted I was NOT enthusiastic about the prospect. Then, in Christmas 2016 “Rogue One” burst onto our screens as a breath of fresh air, and I thought “OK, I can be wrong!”. But even jolted by that pleasant surprise, I always thought that the second proposed diversion off the main hyperspace highway into “Radiator Springs” – a Han Solo back-story flick – might fall short. It just didn’t float my boat.

Add into that proposition the decision to give the film initially to “The Lego Movie” directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (why Disney? why?); them trying to forge it as a ‘comedy’; them falling horribly short and being fired by Disney; Disney bringing Ron Howard (“Inferno“, “Rush“) in to try to salvage the project; and Howard reportedly re-shooting 75% of the film and you have the makings of a turkey of galactic proportions.

With all that being said, I was surprised I enjoyed it as much as I did. But that’s off a very low base of expectation.

As you might guess, we go back to see Han… just Han… as a delinquent youth trying to keep his head above water under the thrall of the Fagin-like Lady Proxima (who – no pun intended – keeps her head under the water for most of the time). He is desperate to pull off a con that’s lucrative enough that it will get him and his girlfriend Qi’ra (Emilia Clarke, “Me Before You“; “Terminator: Genisys“; “Game of Thrones”) off-planet and into a free life. Things don’t go to plan though and Han – now Han Solo – finds himself a trooper of the Galactic Empire. He links up with fellow rogues Beckett (Woody Harrelson, “War for the Planet of the Apes“; “Three Billboards in Ebbing, Missouri“), Val (Thandie Newton, “Westworld”, “2012”), Rio (voiced by Jon Favreau, “Spider-Man: Homecoming“; “Iron Man Three“) and their assertive and rebellious droid L3-37 (voiced by Phoebe Waller-Bridge) in a get-rich-or-die mission for vicious gang-boss Dryden Vos (Paul Bettany, “Avengers: Infinity War“).

The film has its moments for sure:

There are some nice background touches: an army recruitment video plays to the sound of John William’s empire march (played I am assured by my more musical wife in a major key to sound more uplifting and positive!);
Han’s first meeting with that famous walking carpet (played by Joonas Suotamo) is memorable, as is the introduction to that “card player, gambler and scoundrel” Lando Calrissian (Donald Glover, “The Martian“, “Spider-Man: Homecoming“): all flamboyance, self-regard and well-dressed ego;
solo2
Never count your money while you’re sitting at the table. Lando Calrissian played by Donald Glover putting his ship (you probably haven’t heard of it) on the line. (Source: Lucasfilm).
the character of L3-37 is an excellent addition to the saga, forcefully demanding equality for droids: I would have liked to have seen much more of her;
there is a nice twist on the Greedo/Han “who shot first” debate;
production design and special effects are up to standard for a Star Wars film, and I enjoyed John Powell’s score, incorporating a new ‘young Han’ theme from John Williams himself;
and Erin Kellyman (in here movie debut) is just breathtaking and strikingly brilliant as the be-freckled renegade Enfys Nest.
But overall it’s all a bit disjointed and jumbled, probably as befits its growing pains. We are introduced to Solo within five seconds of the film’s opening….. BAM! No exquisite ‘reveal’ as we saw with River Phoenix in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. I found this disconcerting and it took me ten minutes to get into the film as a result.

When it gets going it rather tries too hard to join up more Star Wars dots than it needs to. “Rogue One” did that exceedingly well, but that was because it needed to as ‘Episode 3.5’. Here there are visual and verbal references everywhere as the screenwriters (Lawrence and Jonathan Kasdan) desperately try to knit their story into the canon. As an example, the action moves to the mines of Kessel at one point. Kessel? Kessel? Wasn’t that a throwaway C3PO line from the “A New Hope” about being “smashed to who knows what” in said mines?. So obviously, in the WHOLE GALAXY that’s where the story leads us, with the local lingo for the hyperspace fuel McGuffin at the heart of the plot being “spice”! It’s all a bit too trite for my liking.

And while a key protagonist appearing near the end of the film (no spoilers) is both a startling surprise and great fun, don’t get me started on the timeline implications…. (see the spoiler section below the trailer for more).

Alden Ehrenreich, who was just brilliant in “Hail Caesar” (“Was that it t’WERRRE so simple“) for me barely makes it past bland in the lead role. One of the defining characteristics of Harrison Ford’s Solo was his swagger and bravado and unfortunately Ehrenreich barely rates a three out of ten on the scale. I also found the chemistry with Emelia Clarke to be lukewarm. Clarke still seems to be struggling to make a significant breakthrough to the big screen…. “Me Before You” still seems to be her high water mark so far. Here she has a key and complex role, but comes over as just plain unconvincing and “meh”.

Ron Howard has clearly done a good job in buffing up a poisoned chalice so it can at least share space on the Star Wars shelf without being laughed out of the Cantina. Perhaps with a more coordinated and thought-through run-up to a Solo sequel (more Enfys Nest please!) this offshoot might have legs.
  
Love, Death & Robots - Season 1
Love, Death & Robots - Season 1
2019 | Animation, Fantasy, Sci-Fi
The beauty of Love, Death and Robots is it's format. An eclectic collection of animated short films, some genuinely brilliant, with a handful of duds, truly gives something for everyone.

There are 18 films on show here, all with something different to offer.
Firstly there were 3 that failed to really resonate with me - Sucker of Souls, When the Yoghurt Took Over, and Alternate Histories. I found these three either slightly boring, or silly for the sake of being silly. There were 2 that sort of floated in the middle - The Dump, and Blind Spot, not bad by any means (none of the shorts are truly bad) but just were sort of there.
Leaving a grand total of 13 shorts that I thought were really really great.

A handful of these realistic CGI entries - namely, Sonnie's Edge, Three Robots, Beyond the Aquila Rift, Shape Shifters (one of the highlights for me), Helping Hand (reminded me of Gravity, in a great way), Lucky 13, and The Secret War.
These lot are lengthier offerings, and boast some good looking CGI animation, bordering on photo realism at times. The run time gives an opportunity for some decent fleshed out stories.
The Secret War in particular is nothing short of breath taking, and may well be my top pick of the whole season.
Elsewhere, we have more cartoony offerings - Suits, a loud animation that features farmers in mech suits fighting aliens. Zima Blue, a beautifully touching story of how a simple robot transcends existence itself - another highlight of the season. Fish Night, a short desert based drama bursting with colour. The animation of this one reminded me of A Scanner Darkly. Good Hunting, a collision of Ancient Chinese stories and a Bioshock style steampunk future. Hard to watch at times, but stunning also - easily would have been my top pick if The Secret War wasn't included.
Rounding it off we have The Witness, and animation that looks like a moving oil painting and reminded me of Mirror's Edge, and Ice Age, a fun short that's the only live action inclusion with CGI flourishes about a civilisation growing in a couple freezer.

It's an ambitious collection of shorts for sure, but like I said, there's something here for everyone. Even the ones that I liked the least are a 6/10 at worst. If you like sci-fi or animation in any shape or form, then check this series out.
  
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
2014 | Action, Sci-Fi
There's a lot of good, fun, over-the-top, explosive action! (2 more)
Age of Extinction features an incredible showcase of special effects.
Great acting from Tucci and Grammar, and a solid new star for the franchise with Mark Wahlberg.
With a 2 hour and 45 minute run-time, the movie goes on far too long and loses steam before the finale. (1 more)
The plot is completely overloaded with enough content to easily cover two films.
Transformers: Age of Extinction is a fun summer movie that sticks to Michael Bay's usual mode of operation, but it's jam-packed and overly ambitious, stretching the run time far longer than it ever should.
After the events of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, referred to in the film as The Battle of Chicago, the surviving Autobots are being hunted to extinction. The United States government is bent on exterminating all Transformers, good and bad, believing them to be an unwelcome global threat. All the while, the hypocritical government has simultaneously partnered with a wealthy inventor who is trying to create his own superior, man-made variations of Transformers. Furthermore, they’re working with the help of the Transformer bounty hunter Lockdown to search out and annihilate Optimus Prime, the famed leader of the Autobots. Prime has been forced into hiding and has sent out a distress call encouraging his comrades to follow suit. When amateur inventor Cade Yeager inadvertently stumbles upon a disguised Optimus Prime, he helps to repair the damaged Transformer who must reunite with his remaining allies to fight for their right to live.

Before I dive into this review, I think I should inform you that I have not seen any of the previous Transformers movies. I should also note that I’m something of a Transformers hater. Despite pressure from family and friends who have praised the movie series, I have deliberately avoided every single one of the films. I never liked the cartoon as a kid, and while Transformers’ amalgamation of cars and robots may be a dream combination for most guys, I have very little interest in either. However, as a critic, I cannot let my own biases get in the way of giving fair judgment. After having watched Transformers: Age of Extinction, I can thankfully report that the film actually wasn’t half bad. While it’s not going to make a Transformers fan out of me, it was an entertaining, albeit overly-long, movie-going experience.

Age of Extinction is an action-packed ride, filled with the kind of over-the-top entertainment you would expect from a Michael Bay film. While Bay has developed something of a bad rap, there’s no denying his knack for fun and ridiculous action sequences. He’s a man who spares no expense when it comes to explosions and special effects, and this is where Bay is at his best. Love him or hate him, it’s hard to argue with his results as he’s surely one of the most successful directors of all time. However, clocking in at two hours and forty-five minutes, the high-speed action of Age of Extinction is exhausting and becomes tiresome long before the finale. Even when Bay slows things down, he keeps the camera overly busy with particle effects and constant movement. While all of that looks great in IMAX 3D, it feels like an endless visual barrage that is frankly a lot to take in. How many lens flares must a man endure in one movie? I understand the desire to make every shot exciting and visually striking, but I think Bay is trying to tackle too much on camera.

Similarly, Age of Extinction is trying to squeeze too much into its plot, which could almost be broken up into two entirely separate movies. We have the hunt for Optimus Prime and the Transformers by Lockdown and the CIA; Cade Yeager’s discovery of Prime and their ensuing alliance; the love story between Cade’s daughter and her boyfriend; the emergence of the Dinobots; as well as the man-made construction of new Transformers. The result is a fast-paced action movie that is convoluted and far too long. That’s not to say that what is there is bad, though. Awful love story aside, all of the other components of the story are solid and even pretty interesting. Kelsey Grammer puts in a good performance as the head of the CIA who is responsible for the extermination of the Transformers. Similarly, Stanley Tucci is great as Joshua Joyce, the brilliant inventor who is recreating human-controlled Transformers for military use. Yet I can’t help but think that Joyce’s plot would have been perhaps been better to save for a sequel. Sure, it offers a nice parallel between the two inventors and it also creates an opportunity for them to introduce some all-new Transformers, but aren’t the Dinobots enough? There’s so much going on in the film that the eagerly-anticipated Dinobots aren’t given much screen time at all. There is just an unreasonable amount of narratives going on in this movie, to the point where it’s hard to follow, and even harder to stay interested in. Instead of sitting on the edge of your seat during the climactic showdown, you’re probably going to be looking at your watch and wondering how much longer this movie can possibly go on.

While I’m no expert on Transformers, I think the film does an admirable job in bringing the robotic characters to life. Their appearance and animation are both impressive, and they’re typically a pretty fun bunch. I have to admit, though, that I was a bit jarred by the angry and violent demeanor of Optimus Prime. I thought he was supposed to be the good guy everyone looked up to? In Age of Extinction, he clearly has some anger management issues. While he might be the most skilled warrior out there, he sure doesn’t seem like much of a role model. Peter Cullen, the original voice of Optimus Prime, has one again returned to voice the character. John Goodman gives a stand-out voice performance as Hound, in a role he seemed to have a lot of fun with, and Ken Watanabe voices the Samurai-like Transformer known as Drift. All in all, there are a lot of Transformers in the movie, but there is hardly ample time to get to know most of them. I imagine many of them have been introduced in previous films, but for a newcomer like myself, I had a hard time distinguishing between quite a few of them. Then there are the Dinobots, which look awesome, but we’re not given a chance to know much of anything about them. It’s a shame that they’re reduced to feeling like unnecessary bookends to an already overly-crammed movie.

On the human side of things, Mark Wahlberg is enjoyable as the struggling inventor who scavengers through whatever he can to try to create a breakthrough invention. He brings a charming and heroic presence to his role, making him a character we can identify with and root for as he tries to assist the highly-targeted Transformers. T.J. Miller’s Lucas makes for a mildly humorous companion to Cade, although much of the film’s attempts at comedy feel forced and aren’t very funny. Then there’s Nicola Peltz as the skimpily-dressed, rebellious but brainy and innocent, party girl daughter Tessa. She fits right into Bay’s stereotypical sexist female lead who serves as little more than a damsel in distress and eye candy. Still, I don’t know who is worse; Tessa, or her rally car racing boyfriend Shane, played by Jack Reynor. I felt just as frustrated by them as Wahlberg does playing Tessa’s disgruntled and disapproving father. These two lovebirds are an annoying and unwanted addition that only further drag out the plot. While it was at first vaguely amusing to watch Cade freak out as the over-protective father, that shtick ended up getting old real quick. While Wahlberg makes a good new face for the franchise, I hope to God that he comes alone for the next one.

Transformers: Age of Extinction is a fun summer movie. Director Michael Bay sticks to his usual mode of operation with ridiculous action sequences, top of the line special effects, and a whole lot of explosions. If you’re looking for a movie with more flash than substance, Age of Extinction should be right up your alley. It’s jam-packed and overly ambitious, stretching the run time far longer than it ever should, but if offers plenty of dumb, fun entertainment. Transformers fans should be pleased, although the series still has yet to make a fan out of me.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.22.14.)
  
Rick and Morty  - Season 3
Rick and Morty - Season 3
2016 | Animation
A big thank you to Smashbomb for this fantastic prize, make sure you take a look at their giveaways for the chance to win some amazing things.

Rick and Morty continues to follow the adventures of the members of the Smith household. When Jerry asks Beth to choose between him and Rick, the strength of their marriage is tested. Jerry is confronted with the loss of his family, while Beth begins to discover her independence again. Morty and Summer deal with their parents' separation by seeking more control over their lives. Rick's nihilistic way of life continues to prevent him from bonding with his family, as he remains unable to change his self-destructive behaviour.

At the end of season 2 Rick and the Smiths have hidden on a tiny version of Earth outside of the Federation's jurisdiction, Earth has been taken over and Rick has surrendered himself to save his family. We open season 3 with Rick in the Federation's custody being interrogated and we instantly get reminded that Rick doesn't do anything without having some sort of ulterior motive.

How can you not love the series that brought us Pickle Rick? I don't for a second know how anyone could think that Rick could create a rat/insect body when he is just a pickle, but he's the smartest man on the planet so I'm willing to believe it was entirely possible.

For me, a series that takes its characters on a journey without getting bogged down in a single storyline is always my favourite. Rick and Morty certainly manages to do this with its constantly jumping scenarios. The one story that does pop up throughout this season is Beth and Jerry's divorce. Rick, despite always being a bit of a dick to everyone, has always had it out for Jerry so this news doesn't phase him at all but the rest of the family are suffering in their own ways. Throughout the series we see Summer and Morty compensating with Rick's adventures and reconciling some of their ongoing personal issues through their experiences. While none of it is realistic, it's entirely relatable.

Before watching this season I decided to rewatch seasons 1 and 2, because it's the sensible thing to do. It felt like we got much better family interaction and inclusions in season 3, I doubt if you work it out that there's much difference between them but that it's more to do with the quality of what we got. With the family going through upheaval we got a lot of stories that actually go to prove that Rick really does care deep down even if he would never openly admit it.

Morty does develop somewhat in this season, he isn't just the bumbling sidekick any more. He's learned a lot over their adventures, and while he's still not on Rick standards, there are moments where we see that he's growing. His dealings with Rick during Vindicators 3 take a step towards actually standing up for himself more and showing him that he understands more about the inner workings of Rick mind than he realises. In The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy, his part of the episode is almost like that of a Rick and Morty adventure when Morty gets to choose, he stands back and watches while Beth makes a hash of things and then swoops in at the last minute to do things that need to be done... admittedly that last bit probably isn't a good character trait to develop but he's realised that (in their messed up sort of world) sometimes someone needs to learn a lesson.

The season as a whole was very good and I liked the way that we came full circle and almost reset the universe for season four. Though I still enjoy Rick and Morty in general, this was definitely a high point for what's currently out there. Development of characters, more fun scenarios and just a little bit of fear that somewhere in a sewer a pickle is making a body out of rat parts.

Episode synopsis included here: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/02/rick-and-morty-season-3-tv-dvd-review.html
  
TT
The Tycoon's Make-Believe Fiancée
6
5.3 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
Oh yeah. I forgot that this book follows [b:The Prince's Resistant Lover|19004327|The Prince's Resistant Lover|Elizabeth Lennox|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1387898260s/19004327.jpg|27026471].

Hello again, Tamar.

I'd ask if you'd kidnapped any other naked women, but this book takes place directly after your story, so you wouldn't have had any time.

Wyndi finally gets to meet up with her long-lost brother, Royston, who had been told by the foster care system that Wyndi was dead, because he wouldn't stop running away to try to find her to take care of her. He doesn't believe her at first, until she tells him things that only she would know.

Royston is overjoyed to have her back, but Wyndi is worried that he isn't happy, because in the few pictures of him that Tamar managed to find, he was never smiling. To convince her that he's fine, he makes up a story about being engaged, and is stuck having to find someone to pretend to be his fiancee until Wyndi leaves.

I'm still not sure how he was expecting that plan to work. Wyndi would expect there to be a wedding at some point, because they're going to stay in touch. I mean, it all works out in the end, but still. I thought you were supposed to be this master planner, Royston!

After Royston decides to implement his ridiculous plan, we cut to Miranda, who works for Royston's company. She is offered up as a sacrifice to turn in some reports late, which Royston is notorious for despising. Her boss needs a scapegoat, because the reports were all of FIVE MINUTES LATE.

Anyway, rather than killing Miranda on sight, Royston asks her to lunch, and pitches his plan to her, because he likes the way she looks. Miranda refuses on principal, laughing at his offers to pay her to lie to his sister. Royston is even more impressed by the fact that Miranda won't let him tell her what to do, or take money from him.

He manages to sway her by playing on her emotions, telling her how he lost Wyndi through the foster care system, and she agrees to pretend to be his fiancee for a weekend, but only on the condition that if she thinks Wyndi will be hurt, she can shut the operation down.

He even respects her wishes to not act like they're in a relationship around the office, in case someone thinks that she's trying to sleep her way to a promotion.

Of course, pretend love gives way to real love, and the two end up actually engaged, after a passion-filled weekend and several whacky misunderstandings.

I liked this story better than The Prince's Resistant Lover. Mostly because Royston actually bothered to get consent from Miranda at every stage of their relationship. And while he was a demanding man, he wasn't overbearing or creepy, the way Tamar came across as.
  
Godzilla (2014)
Godzilla (2014)
2014 | Mystery, Sci-Fi
The cast especially Bryan Cranston The Action sequences Godzilla and the Mutos The suspense The score The Cgi (0 more)
Needed more Bryan Cranston (0 more)
"let them fight"
This film is an absolute masterpiece. Not once did I find myself getting bored or losing track of the plot - something that happens commonly when I watch longer movies - and I was gutted when it was over. Not because I was disappointed, but because I desperately wanted more. Gareth Edwards' film takes monster movies to a whole new level, with some nice twists to the usual "Godzilla" story lines, a fantastic cast and some of the best action sequences I have ever had the pleasure of seeing.

The first thing to mention about this film is its cast and its focus on the human characters, played mainly by Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Lieutenant Ford Brody), Elizabeth Olsen (Elle Brody, Ford's wife), and Bryan Cranston (Joe Brody, Ford's estranged father). Bryan Cranston is only really in the first half, portraying his character as a very outcast, yet very determined former nuclear engineer who is searching for the truth about his wife's tragic death. He was fantastic in the role delivering each line with emotion and conviction he was the best character in the film and I wish he was in the film longer. His theories beautifully foreshadow the events to come, and he drags his son, Ford, right into the heart of the trouble. Thankfully, this means that we get to see lots of the brilliant Aaron Taylor- Johnson, a courageous explosive ordnance disposal technician who comes face-to-face with Godzilla several times. Literally. Aaron Taylor-Johnson really is the star here, and the scenes with his wife, Elle, and son, Sam, before any of the action starts makes his actions later on all the more respectable and courageous as he risks his life to save them and the entire city. Elizabeth Olsen isn't used as much as I would have liked, as she is fantastic in the scenes in which we see her. Having said that, she does appear a fair amount, as the strong wife and mother holding back her terror in order to stay and help. Her scenes with Aaron Taylor- Johnson are great too, and make for some very believable characters. The other main character is Dr Serizawa (played by Ken Watanabe), a scientist monitoring Godzilla and the MUTOs. He doesn't really do much apart from look very worried in every shot and say tense or shocking one-liners, but Ken Watanabe makes sure that it's never cringe-worthy or boring.

Secondly we have Gareth Edwards' directing - wow! I need to see more of this guy! Every shot looks as good as it could possibly be, and the first reveal of Godzilla is brilliant. There's a MUTO smashing up an airport. Cue plane exploding, followed by the one to the right, and then the one to the right, and then… a foot. Silence. Another foot. Cut to a shot of the MUTO roaring, and then back to the feet. Up the camera pans (for quite a long time!), leaving us with a beautiful high-angle shot of the beast himself. And then comes the roar. There's another great shot of Godzilla making his way across the Pacific to San Francisco, and another in the city itself of… well, there's no other way of putting it – Godzilla and a MUTO having a good old' fashioned fistfight, which culminates in a pretty fantastic and well-timed tail slam from the big guy. The skyscrapers don't really bother them. It's just a long shot, and in it we see two giant monsters ripping each other to shreds and obliviously destroying the city below. Another great shot (or shots) is during the HALO jump, as we see the city in flames, the men falling through the clouds and the burning skyline and a close-up of a Godzilla vs MUTO fight.

Now I'll move on to the plot and the headline acts – the MUTOs and the big guy himself, Godzilla. The plot is very straightforward. A MUTO hatches in Japan, one hatches in Nevada next to Las Vegas, and this is all because they've been feeding on humanity's nuclear waste and radiation. Oh, and by the way, the MUTOs look brilliant. Imagine a metal praying mantis crossed with a four-legged spider, as tall as a skyscraper. That's a MUTO. Anyway, Ford joins the fight to stop the creatures, and as they make their way to San Francisco the military plan to destroy them with their most powerful nuclear weapon. Godzilla is closing in too, and when the pesky MUTOs steal the nuke and build their nest around it, Ford and a group of soldiers must go into the city to detonate it. However, Godzilla and the MUTOs are also in the city, smashing everything (including each other) to bits. It's very odd that, for once, we end up cheering Godzilla on, as the two MUTOs begin to overwhelm him as he is seemingly hurt. And then he is actually made out to be the good guy (a twist I enjoyed), as he saves Ford in a spectacular way from a MUTO and the media call him " the saviour of our city?". 'Zilla looks amazing too. "Massive" is probably an understatement, but the spikes on his back, the battle scars on his body and his terrifying face make him look awesome. Also, his roar had me jumping up and down with excitement, as did his surprise for the MUTOs: his atomic fire breath.

All in all, "Godzilla" is one fantastic movie. No longer a mockery, but terrifying, tense, and, unlike many monster movies, it is complex. Complex in that it has multiple characters with interesting back-stories (that are all explored) and gives Godzilla a new personality and purpose. Everything looks great, it feels epic, and I enjoyed every moment. This is a movie that would appeal to anyone.