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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
The most fun you can have with Jack Black’s penis.
In 1995, Joe Johnston (“The Rocketeer”, “Captain America: The First Avenger”) directed “Jumanji” – a quirky, fantastical and dark film starring the late, great Robin Williams that got a rough critical reception at the time of release, but was embraced by the public and has gone on to be a modern classic. So when it was announced that a sequel was in the works 22 years later, my first reaction was “Oh no… is nothing sacred?”. It’s fair to say that I went into this flick with extremely low expectations.
But I have to say that – given this low base – I was pleasantly surprised. It’s actually quite a fun fantasy film that I predict that older kids will adore.
Seriously kick-ass. Karen Gillan – or rather one of her stunt doubles – gets hands… er… feet on with an aggressive level-character.
Initially set (neatly) in 1995, a teen – Alex (Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers) unearths the board game Jumanji where it ended up buried in beach-sand at the end of the last film. “Who plays board games any more?” he scoffs, which the game hears and morphs into a game cartridge. Cheesy? Yes, but no more crazy than the goings on of the first film. Back in 2017, four high-school teens – geeky Spencer (Alex Wolff, “Patriot’s Day“); sports-jock Fridge (Ser’Darius Blain); self-obsessed beauty Bethany (Madison Iseman); and self-conscious, nerdy and shy Martha (Morgan Turner) – find the game and are sucked into it, having to complete all the game levels before they can escape.
Bethany (Madison Iseman) wishing she had her phone out for a selfie of this.
But they are not themselves in the game; they adopt the Avatars they chose to play: Dr Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“); Moose Finbar (Kevin Hart, “Get Hard“); Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan, “Dr Who”, “The Circle“; “Guardians of the Galaxy“); and Professor Shelly Oberon (Jack Black, “Sex Tape“, “Kong”). Can they combine their respective game talents – and suppress the human mental baggage they brought with them – to escape the game?
Avatars all. Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan and Jack Black.
There was a really dark time-travelling angle to the storyline of the original film – the traumatic start of Disney’s “Flight of the Navigator” was perhaps also borrowed from the concept in the book by Chris Van Allsburg. An attempt is made to recreate this in the sequel. I felt the first film rather pulled its punches though in favour of a Hollywood happy ending: will this be the case this time?
The film delivers laughs, but in a rather inconsistent fashion – it is mostly smile-worthy rather than laugh-out-loud funny. Much fun is had with the sex change of Bethany’s character, with Jack Black’s member featuring – erm – prominently. The characters all have strengths and weaknesses, like a game of Top Trumps, and this also entertains. But the most humour derives from the “three lives and it’s game over” device giving the opportunity for various grisly ends, often relating to the above referenced weaknesses.
A weakness for cake… something many of us have, but not quite to this extent.
Given the cast that’s been signed up, the acting is not exactly first rate although Karen Gillan shines as the brightest star. But “it’s not bloody Shakespeare” so ham-acting is not that much of a problem and the cast all have fun with their roles. Dwayne Johnson in particular gets to play out of character as the ‘nerd within the hunk’, and his “smouldering look” skill – arched eyebrow and all – is hilarious. Rhys Darby, looking so much like Hugh Jackman that I had to do several double takes, also turns up as an English game-guide in a Land Rover, and Bobby Cannavale (“Ant Man“) is Van Pelt, the villain of the piece.
There has been much controversy over Karen Gillan’s child-sized outfit. But she is clearly a parallel to the well-endowed Lara Croft, and young male teens didn’t play that game for the jungle scenery! She is meant to be a hot and sexy video game character, and man – does she deliver! Gillan is not just hot in the film: she is #lavahot. This makes her comic attempts at flirting lessons (as the internally conflicted Martha) especially funny. Hats off to her stunt doubles as well, for some awe-inspiring martial arts fight scenes.
Seeing treble. Karen Gillan (centre) with her talented stunt doubles Joanna Bennett and Jahnel Curfman.
Fans of “Lost” will delight in the Jumanji scenery, surely one of the most over-used film locations in Hawaii if not the world!
Where the film gets bogged down is in too much cod-faced philosophizing over the teenager’s “journeys”. This is laid on in such a clunky manner in the early (slow!) scenes that the script could have been significantly tightened up. And as I said above the script, written (rather obviously) by a raft of writers, could have been so much funnier. Most of the humour comes from visually seeing what’s happening: not from the dialogue.
Directed by Jake Kasdan (son of director and Star Wars/Raiders screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan) it’s really not half as bad as it could have been and certainly not as bad as I feared: I would gladly watch it again. For it’s target audience, which is probably kids aged 10 to 14, I think they will love it. And, unlike many holiday films, the parents won’t be totally bored either (especially the Dads, for the obvious misogynistic reasons outlined above!).
But I have to say that – given this low base – I was pleasantly surprised. It’s actually quite a fun fantasy film that I predict that older kids will adore.
Seriously kick-ass. Karen Gillan – or rather one of her stunt doubles – gets hands… er… feet on with an aggressive level-character.
Initially set (neatly) in 1995, a teen – Alex (Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers) unearths the board game Jumanji where it ended up buried in beach-sand at the end of the last film. “Who plays board games any more?” he scoffs, which the game hears and morphs into a game cartridge. Cheesy? Yes, but no more crazy than the goings on of the first film. Back in 2017, four high-school teens – geeky Spencer (Alex Wolff, “Patriot’s Day“); sports-jock Fridge (Ser’Darius Blain); self-obsessed beauty Bethany (Madison Iseman); and self-conscious, nerdy and shy Martha (Morgan Turner) – find the game and are sucked into it, having to complete all the game levels before they can escape.
Bethany (Madison Iseman) wishing she had her phone out for a selfie of this.
But they are not themselves in the game; they adopt the Avatars they chose to play: Dr Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“); Moose Finbar (Kevin Hart, “Get Hard“); Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan, “Dr Who”, “The Circle“; “Guardians of the Galaxy“); and Professor Shelly Oberon (Jack Black, “Sex Tape“, “Kong”). Can they combine their respective game talents – and suppress the human mental baggage they brought with them – to escape the game?
Avatars all. Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan and Jack Black.
There was a really dark time-travelling angle to the storyline of the original film – the traumatic start of Disney’s “Flight of the Navigator” was perhaps also borrowed from the concept in the book by Chris Van Allsburg. An attempt is made to recreate this in the sequel. I felt the first film rather pulled its punches though in favour of a Hollywood happy ending: will this be the case this time?
The film delivers laughs, but in a rather inconsistent fashion – it is mostly smile-worthy rather than laugh-out-loud funny. Much fun is had with the sex change of Bethany’s character, with Jack Black’s member featuring – erm – prominently. The characters all have strengths and weaknesses, like a game of Top Trumps, and this also entertains. But the most humour derives from the “three lives and it’s game over” device giving the opportunity for various grisly ends, often relating to the above referenced weaknesses.
A weakness for cake… something many of us have, but not quite to this extent.
Given the cast that’s been signed up, the acting is not exactly first rate although Karen Gillan shines as the brightest star. But “it’s not bloody Shakespeare” so ham-acting is not that much of a problem and the cast all have fun with their roles. Dwayne Johnson in particular gets to play out of character as the ‘nerd within the hunk’, and his “smouldering look” skill – arched eyebrow and all – is hilarious. Rhys Darby, looking so much like Hugh Jackman that I had to do several double takes, also turns up as an English game-guide in a Land Rover, and Bobby Cannavale (“Ant Man“) is Van Pelt, the villain of the piece.
There has been much controversy over Karen Gillan’s child-sized outfit. But she is clearly a parallel to the well-endowed Lara Croft, and young male teens didn’t play that game for the jungle scenery! She is meant to be a hot and sexy video game character, and man – does she deliver! Gillan is not just hot in the film: she is #lavahot. This makes her comic attempts at flirting lessons (as the internally conflicted Martha) especially funny. Hats off to her stunt doubles as well, for some awe-inspiring martial arts fight scenes.
Seeing treble. Karen Gillan (centre) with her talented stunt doubles Joanna Bennett and Jahnel Curfman.
Fans of “Lost” will delight in the Jumanji scenery, surely one of the most over-used film locations in Hawaii if not the world!
Where the film gets bogged down is in too much cod-faced philosophizing over the teenager’s “journeys”. This is laid on in such a clunky manner in the early (slow!) scenes that the script could have been significantly tightened up. And as I said above the script, written (rather obviously) by a raft of writers, could have been so much funnier. Most of the humour comes from visually seeing what’s happening: not from the dialogue.
Directed by Jake Kasdan (son of director and Star Wars/Raiders screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan) it’s really not half as bad as it could have been and certainly not as bad as I feared: I would gladly watch it again. For it’s target audience, which is probably kids aged 10 to 14, I think they will love it. And, unlike many holiday films, the parents won’t be totally bored either (especially the Dads, for the obvious misogynistic reasons outlined above!).

Bob Mann (459 KP) rated The Great Wall (2016) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Exercising your Damons.
Millions of people watching the Oscars would have seen Jimmy Kimmel roasting poor Matt Damon as a part of their long running ‘feud’. At one point he points out that Matt gave up the leading role in “Manchester by the Sea” to star in a “Chinese ponytail movie” that “went on to lose $80 million at the box office”. “The Great Wall” is that movie!
So is it really that bad?
Well, it’s no “Manchester by the Sea” for sure. But I don’t think it’s quite the total turkey that critics have been labelling it as either. I went to see it on a Sunday afternoon, and approaching it as a matinee bit of frothy action is a good mental state to be in.
Matt Damon plays the ponytailed-wonder William, a European mercenary travelling in 11th Century China with his colleague Tovar (Pedro Pascal) in an attempt to determine the secrets of black powder – a secret well-guarded by the Chinese. Captured by the ‘New Order’ at the Great Wall and imprisoned there by General Shao (Hanyu Zhang), William earns the respect of Shao and his beautiful warrior second-in-command Lin Mae (Tian Jing) with his bowmanship. This is almost immediately put to use by the arrival (after 60 year’s absence – a funny thing, timing, isn’t it?) of hoards of vicious creatures called Taoties. (I thought they said Tauntauns initially, so was expecting some sort of Chinese/Star Wars crossover! But no.)
Taoties who scale the wall are defeated by William who poleaxes them. (This is an attempt at brilliant humour to anyone who has already seen the film – poleaxe…. get it? POLEaxe. Oh, never mind!) Despite being a mercenary at heart, William is torn between staying and helping Lin Mae fight the beasts and fleeing with Tovar, their new chum Ballard (Willem Dafoe) and their black powder loot. (I’m sure something about Lin Mae’s tight-fitting blue armour was influential in his decision).
This is an historic film in that although in recent years there has been cross-fertilization of Chinese actors into Western films for box-office reasons (for example, in the appalling “Independence Day: Resurgence” and the much better Damon vehicle “The Martian“) this was the first truly co-produced Chinese/Hollywood feature filmed entirely in China. It might also be the last given the film’s $150 million budget and the dismal box-office!
To start with some positives, you can rely on a Chinese-set film (the film location was Qingdao) to allow the use of an army of extras and – although a whole bunch of CGI was also no doubt used – some of the battles scenes are impressive. There is a stirring choral theme by Ramin Djawadi (best known for his TV themes for “Game of Thrones” and the brilliant “Westworld”) played over silk-screen painted end titles that just make for a beautiful combination. And Tian Jing as the heroine Lin Mae is not only stunningly good-looking but also injects some much needed acting talent into the cast, where most of those involved (including Damon himself) look like they would rather be somewhere else.
And some of the action scenes are rather fun in a ‘park your brain by the door’ sort of way, including (nonsensically) cute warrior girls high-diving off the wall on bungey ropes to near certain death. While the CGI monsters are of the (yawn) over-the-top LoTR variety, their ability to swarm like locusts at the Queen’s command is also quite entertainingly rendered.
Where the movie balloon comes crashing down to earth in flames though is with the story and the screenplay – all done by three different people each, which is NEVER a good sign.
The story (by Max Brooks (“World War Z”), Edward Zwick and Marshall Herskovitz (both on “The Last Samurai”) is plain nonsensical at times. No spoilers here, but the transition from “wall under siege” to “wall not under siege” gives the word ‘clunky’ a bad name. As another absurdity, the “New Order” seem amazed how William was able to slay one of the creatures (thanks to the poleaxing ‘McGuffin’ previously referenced) but then throughout the rest of the film he slays creatures left right and centre (McGuffin-less) through just the use of a spear or an arrow! Bonkers.
Things get worse when you add words to the actions. The screenplay by Carlo Bernard and Doug Miro (both “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time”) and Tony Gilroy (Tony Gilroy? Surely not he of all the “Bourne” films and “Rogue One” fame? The very same!) has a reading age of about an 8 year old. It feels like it has been translated into Chinese and then back again to English with Google Translate. “Is that the best you can do?” asks Tovar to William at one point. I was thinking exactly the same thing.
The combination of the cinematography and the special effects have the unfortunate effect of giving the film the veneer of a video game, but this is one where your kid-brother has stolen the controls and refuses to give them back to you.
Having had the great thrill of visiting a section of The Great Wall near Beijing, I can confirm that it is an astonishing engineering masterpiece that has to be seen to be truly believed. It ranks as one of the genuine wonders of the world. The same can not be said of this movie. Early teens might enjoy it as a mindless action flick. But otherwise best avoided until it emerges on a raining Sunday afternoon on the TV.
So is it really that bad?
Well, it’s no “Manchester by the Sea” for sure. But I don’t think it’s quite the total turkey that critics have been labelling it as either. I went to see it on a Sunday afternoon, and approaching it as a matinee bit of frothy action is a good mental state to be in.
Matt Damon plays the ponytailed-wonder William, a European mercenary travelling in 11th Century China with his colleague Tovar (Pedro Pascal) in an attempt to determine the secrets of black powder – a secret well-guarded by the Chinese. Captured by the ‘New Order’ at the Great Wall and imprisoned there by General Shao (Hanyu Zhang), William earns the respect of Shao and his beautiful warrior second-in-command Lin Mae (Tian Jing) with his bowmanship. This is almost immediately put to use by the arrival (after 60 year’s absence – a funny thing, timing, isn’t it?) of hoards of vicious creatures called Taoties. (I thought they said Tauntauns initially, so was expecting some sort of Chinese/Star Wars crossover! But no.)
Taoties who scale the wall are defeated by William who poleaxes them. (This is an attempt at brilliant humour to anyone who has already seen the film – poleaxe…. get it? POLEaxe. Oh, never mind!) Despite being a mercenary at heart, William is torn between staying and helping Lin Mae fight the beasts and fleeing with Tovar, their new chum Ballard (Willem Dafoe) and their black powder loot. (I’m sure something about Lin Mae’s tight-fitting blue armour was influential in his decision).
This is an historic film in that although in recent years there has been cross-fertilization of Chinese actors into Western films for box-office reasons (for example, in the appalling “Independence Day: Resurgence” and the much better Damon vehicle “The Martian“) this was the first truly co-produced Chinese/Hollywood feature filmed entirely in China. It might also be the last given the film’s $150 million budget and the dismal box-office!
To start with some positives, you can rely on a Chinese-set film (the film location was Qingdao) to allow the use of an army of extras and – although a whole bunch of CGI was also no doubt used – some of the battles scenes are impressive. There is a stirring choral theme by Ramin Djawadi (best known for his TV themes for “Game of Thrones” and the brilliant “Westworld”) played over silk-screen painted end titles that just make for a beautiful combination. And Tian Jing as the heroine Lin Mae is not only stunningly good-looking but also injects some much needed acting talent into the cast, where most of those involved (including Damon himself) look like they would rather be somewhere else.
And some of the action scenes are rather fun in a ‘park your brain by the door’ sort of way, including (nonsensically) cute warrior girls high-diving off the wall on bungey ropes to near certain death. While the CGI monsters are of the (yawn) over-the-top LoTR variety, their ability to swarm like locusts at the Queen’s command is also quite entertainingly rendered.
Where the movie balloon comes crashing down to earth in flames though is with the story and the screenplay – all done by three different people each, which is NEVER a good sign.
The story (by Max Brooks (“World War Z”), Edward Zwick and Marshall Herskovitz (both on “The Last Samurai”) is plain nonsensical at times. No spoilers here, but the transition from “wall under siege” to “wall not under siege” gives the word ‘clunky’ a bad name. As another absurdity, the “New Order” seem amazed how William was able to slay one of the creatures (thanks to the poleaxing ‘McGuffin’ previously referenced) but then throughout the rest of the film he slays creatures left right and centre (McGuffin-less) through just the use of a spear or an arrow! Bonkers.
Things get worse when you add words to the actions. The screenplay by Carlo Bernard and Doug Miro (both “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time”) and Tony Gilroy (Tony Gilroy? Surely not he of all the “Bourne” films and “Rogue One” fame? The very same!) has a reading age of about an 8 year old. It feels like it has been translated into Chinese and then back again to English with Google Translate. “Is that the best you can do?” asks Tovar to William at one point. I was thinking exactly the same thing.
The combination of the cinematography and the special effects have the unfortunate effect of giving the film the veneer of a video game, but this is one where your kid-brother has stolen the controls and refuses to give them back to you.
Having had the great thrill of visiting a section of The Great Wall near Beijing, I can confirm that it is an astonishing engineering masterpiece that has to be seen to be truly believed. It ranks as one of the genuine wonders of the world. The same can not be said of this movie. Early teens might enjoy it as a mindless action flick. But otherwise best avoided until it emerges on a raining Sunday afternoon on the TV.

Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Cosmic Run: Express in Tabletop Games
Oct 27, 2021
Components are obviously an integral part of games. Some games are beasts when it comes to components – boasting large numbers of included components to bolster the gameplay. And then you have games that have mastered the art of gameplay utilizing a minimal number of components. Cosmic Run: Express is one of these games, consisting of only 25 cards. But does the gameplay hold up for such a physically small game? Read on to find out!
The latest game in Dr. Finn’s Cosmic Run universe, Cosmic Run: Express pits two players against each other, racing to be the first to reach 3 new planets. It is a game of area influence and simultaneous action selection played over a series of rounds in which players are playing cards to the 3 planets to advance their movement trackers the necessary 12 points to reach the planets. To setup the game, place the 3 planet cards in numerical order between the two players. Each player takes a set of 3 movement trackers in their chosen color and places one on their side of each planet card. All of the movement trackers are set to 0 for the start of the game. Players are dealt 6 ship cards, and the game is ready to play!
To begin a round, players look at their hand of 6 cards and choose 2 to pass to their opponent. Taking the new cards into your hand, you can decide to discard 1 card and draw a new card. This is not required, but can be performed by each player in each round. Next, players will simultaneously choose a card from their hand to be played face-up next to any planet, beneath their corresponding movement tracker. You can only play a maximum of 2 cards per planet.. If the color of the card you play at a planet matches the color at the top of your movement tracker, you may immediately move your tracker up by 1. Play continues, simultaneously playing cards, until all 6 cards in hand have been played and each movement tracker has 2 cards next to it.
Now we move to the scoring/movement phase. Starting with Planet 1, compare the 2-card hands and determine which player played the best hand. The hierarchy for determining best hand is described in the rules, and that player earns 2 movement points for that planet, and adjusts their tracker accordingly. After scoring best hand, players score arrows. Underneath the number on each card is an arrow pointing either left or right, with a corresponding color. Beginning with the player who did not win best hand, look at the arrows on their 2-card hand, and score movement points if the arrows match any cards in their adjacent planets. Repeat these scoring steps for Planets 2 and 3. If, by the end of scoring, a player has earned 12 movement points and reached all 3 planets, that player is the winner! If not all 3 planets have been reached, collect all the cards, shuffle them, deal 6 to each player, and begin a new round. Rounds continue until one player has reached all 3 planets.
As a fan of the Cosmic Run universe, I was excited when I saw Cosmic Run: Express on Kickstarter. It seemed light, simple, and in the same universe as other games I loved, so I decided to back it. How does it fare? I think it’s great! For starters, I really appreciate that it is a small, portable game that can be played virtually anywhere. Lots of games these days are real table-hogs, and I enjoy the minimalistic approach of this game. Getting into the gameplay – it requires way more strategy than you initially think. There are 3 different ways in which you can score movement points (color matching, best hand, and arrow scoring) and you need to utilize all 3 for success. You are constantly evaluating your hand of cards and trying to determine which placements will yield the most points for you. Maybe you don’t have a color match, but the arrow on that card could make up for that and earn you up to 2 movement points. Another neat strategic point is that you have to pay attention to your opponent as well. The best hand points are a direct head-to-head between players, so not only do you have to maximize your own strategic points with card placement, you have to watch your opponent’s card placements and see if you can get a better hand than they do for a given planet. You are constantly engaged in this game, and that’s what I love about it.
Another great thing about Cosmic Run: Express is that it plays so quickly and effortlessly. Yes, at first there’s a tiny bit of a learning curve to remember the hierarchy for best hand, but after a couple of rounds the game flow is streamlined. It only takes 10-15 minutes to play, so it is easy to play “just one more” when you’re done. It’s light and fast enough to be a great filler between games, but it is also strategic enough to hold its own in a full game night.
So overall, how do we feel about this game? For being a nice and small 2-player game, it packs quite a punch! I was very pleasantly surprised by the amount of engagement and strategy in this game, and it is definitely one that I want to play multiple times in a row. So mission accomplished, Dr. Finn – in this case, less IS more. It’s a great little card game, and I highly recommend giving it a shot if you’re looking for something small but mighty. Purple Phoenix games gives Cosmic Run: Express a stellar 9 / 12.
The latest game in Dr. Finn’s Cosmic Run universe, Cosmic Run: Express pits two players against each other, racing to be the first to reach 3 new planets. It is a game of area influence and simultaneous action selection played over a series of rounds in which players are playing cards to the 3 planets to advance their movement trackers the necessary 12 points to reach the planets. To setup the game, place the 3 planet cards in numerical order between the two players. Each player takes a set of 3 movement trackers in their chosen color and places one on their side of each planet card. All of the movement trackers are set to 0 for the start of the game. Players are dealt 6 ship cards, and the game is ready to play!
To begin a round, players look at their hand of 6 cards and choose 2 to pass to their opponent. Taking the new cards into your hand, you can decide to discard 1 card and draw a new card. This is not required, but can be performed by each player in each round. Next, players will simultaneously choose a card from their hand to be played face-up next to any planet, beneath their corresponding movement tracker. You can only play a maximum of 2 cards per planet.. If the color of the card you play at a planet matches the color at the top of your movement tracker, you may immediately move your tracker up by 1. Play continues, simultaneously playing cards, until all 6 cards in hand have been played and each movement tracker has 2 cards next to it.
Now we move to the scoring/movement phase. Starting with Planet 1, compare the 2-card hands and determine which player played the best hand. The hierarchy for determining best hand is described in the rules, and that player earns 2 movement points for that planet, and adjusts their tracker accordingly. After scoring best hand, players score arrows. Underneath the number on each card is an arrow pointing either left or right, with a corresponding color. Beginning with the player who did not win best hand, look at the arrows on their 2-card hand, and score movement points if the arrows match any cards in their adjacent planets. Repeat these scoring steps for Planets 2 and 3. If, by the end of scoring, a player has earned 12 movement points and reached all 3 planets, that player is the winner! If not all 3 planets have been reached, collect all the cards, shuffle them, deal 6 to each player, and begin a new round. Rounds continue until one player has reached all 3 planets.
As a fan of the Cosmic Run universe, I was excited when I saw Cosmic Run: Express on Kickstarter. It seemed light, simple, and in the same universe as other games I loved, so I decided to back it. How does it fare? I think it’s great! For starters, I really appreciate that it is a small, portable game that can be played virtually anywhere. Lots of games these days are real table-hogs, and I enjoy the minimalistic approach of this game. Getting into the gameplay – it requires way more strategy than you initially think. There are 3 different ways in which you can score movement points (color matching, best hand, and arrow scoring) and you need to utilize all 3 for success. You are constantly evaluating your hand of cards and trying to determine which placements will yield the most points for you. Maybe you don’t have a color match, but the arrow on that card could make up for that and earn you up to 2 movement points. Another neat strategic point is that you have to pay attention to your opponent as well. The best hand points are a direct head-to-head between players, so not only do you have to maximize your own strategic points with card placement, you have to watch your opponent’s card placements and see if you can get a better hand than they do for a given planet. You are constantly engaged in this game, and that’s what I love about it.
Another great thing about Cosmic Run: Express is that it plays so quickly and effortlessly. Yes, at first there’s a tiny bit of a learning curve to remember the hierarchy for best hand, but after a couple of rounds the game flow is streamlined. It only takes 10-15 minutes to play, so it is easy to play “just one more” when you’re done. It’s light and fast enough to be a great filler between games, but it is also strategic enough to hold its own in a full game night.
So overall, how do we feel about this game? For being a nice and small 2-player game, it packs quite a punch! I was very pleasantly surprised by the amount of engagement and strategy in this game, and it is definitely one that I want to play multiple times in a row. So mission accomplished, Dr. Finn – in this case, less IS more. It’s a great little card game, and I highly recommend giving it a shot if you’re looking for something small but mighty. Purple Phoenix games gives Cosmic Run: Express a stellar 9 / 12.

Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Dying Light in Video Games
Jul 19, 2017
Awkward parkour (2 more)
Terrible story
Disappointing loot
Mutton dressed as lamb
This game came out in January last year, so it’s now more than a year old, but honestly it feels much older than that. I can remember when this came out to glowing reviews and I was pleased, because I was a big fan of Techland’s first open world, first person zombie game, Dead Island. Plus this looked really cool as it added free running and a transformation of zombies. I bought the game in about September last year, but I have only recently gotten around to actually playing it, so I figured I’d give my thoughts on the game so far. To be honest I am very disappointed, after the glowing reviews and audience praise I was expecting a game that was a lot better than this. I honestly think I may prefer the original Dead Island to Dying Light and although I may be looking at Dead Island through rose tinted glasses, it was only a couple of years ago that I played it, so I’m not so sure.
The big gimmick in this game is the free running. I went into the game expecting Dead Island meets Mirror’s Edge, but instead I got something more akin to Shadow Fall or Far Cry’s janky free running. The player character honestly feels so heavy and clunky and there is no coherent flow to the free running at all. The other gimmick is the idea of ‘drops,’ which are basically supply drops that are dropped in various locations throughout the map. The controller will vibrate, the blue icon will appear on the map and you haul ass across the environment towards it, in the awkward parkour motion that you are forced to endure throughout the game. The first couple of drops are difficult when you don’t yet really know what you are doing, but after a while you know what to expect and as soon as you feel the controller rumble and the icon appear on the mini map you know to just run as fast as possible towards the icon and everything will be straightforward. Also, while I am aware that players don’t tend to love this game for it’s immersive story, what story they attempt is garbage delivered by poor voice acting, in addition it makes absolutely no sense that you are just some random guy that the people from The Tower find out on the street and within spending a day or two with them they declare you to be the best free runner in the whole tower, it is all just far too convenient. The game also attempts to force you to change your play style at night, some of the zombies transform into hulking, hard to kill beasts with super speed, but their field of vision also appears on the map, so as long as you can avoid that, everything will be hunky dory and even if you do get seen you can just run away for a bit and climb onto a ledge and they will soon forget about you. I actually think that the virals that attack you during the day are more dangerous as they don’t have a specific field of view and are faster than the night time virals. Now while all these minor gripes do add up to my dislike of the game, the biggest let down in this game is it’s loot system. The loot in Dead Island was so good and when you had a great weapon, you knew it was great because it was so effective and felt so good to use in combat, there was just a charm to the weapons you could find in that game. The loot in Dying Light is much more generic and the effectiveness of the weapons has been neutered. The game starts you off with flimsy blunt weapons, which is expected, then you either find or save up your money and buy a sweet new axe or machete, you think that this is going to help you take out everything so much easier, but there isn’t much more of an effect, like maybe instead of dying after 18 hits a guy will die after 15, but that still doesn’t exactly feel effective to me. Also, the weapons degrade quickly, but that doesn’t matter because there is a good amount of weapons to buy and find, but since they have all been nerfed anyway it renders the whole process totally pointless, the loot system is really redundant and has no impact at all on the game. Also the guns are overpowered as all hell. The big guys with the heavy weapons will take you around fifty smacks with a hammer to bring down, but if you have a pistol and jump over a three foot wall, they can’t follow you and so they just stand still, so you just pop two or three caps into their skull and they go down in a couple of seconds. I also dislike how the damage you inflict on an enemy is the same no matter where on the body that you hit them. You can whack a guy repeatedly in the head or the legs and he will fall down in the same amount of time either way.
Overall, this game tries to be the next gen version of Dead Island, but what it delivers is a game that looks and feels like it came out at the same time as its predecessor and in a lot of ways it is even less intuitive than the first game. I know that I keep comparing this game to Dead Island, but I honestly believe that if you are looking for a first person zombie survival game, you should save yourself the cash and go pick up Dead Island as it plays better than this one and is graphically on par. However even though I have torn this game apart for the duration of this review, it is still a good game and I can see why people like it, I just don’t understand the massive amounts of praise it gets when Dead Island was a better game.
The big gimmick in this game is the free running. I went into the game expecting Dead Island meets Mirror’s Edge, but instead I got something more akin to Shadow Fall or Far Cry’s janky free running. The player character honestly feels so heavy and clunky and there is no coherent flow to the free running at all. The other gimmick is the idea of ‘drops,’ which are basically supply drops that are dropped in various locations throughout the map. The controller will vibrate, the blue icon will appear on the map and you haul ass across the environment towards it, in the awkward parkour motion that you are forced to endure throughout the game. The first couple of drops are difficult when you don’t yet really know what you are doing, but after a while you know what to expect and as soon as you feel the controller rumble and the icon appear on the mini map you know to just run as fast as possible towards the icon and everything will be straightforward. Also, while I am aware that players don’t tend to love this game for it’s immersive story, what story they attempt is garbage delivered by poor voice acting, in addition it makes absolutely no sense that you are just some random guy that the people from The Tower find out on the street and within spending a day or two with them they declare you to be the best free runner in the whole tower, it is all just far too convenient. The game also attempts to force you to change your play style at night, some of the zombies transform into hulking, hard to kill beasts with super speed, but their field of vision also appears on the map, so as long as you can avoid that, everything will be hunky dory and even if you do get seen you can just run away for a bit and climb onto a ledge and they will soon forget about you. I actually think that the virals that attack you during the day are more dangerous as they don’t have a specific field of view and are faster than the night time virals. Now while all these minor gripes do add up to my dislike of the game, the biggest let down in this game is it’s loot system. The loot in Dead Island was so good and when you had a great weapon, you knew it was great because it was so effective and felt so good to use in combat, there was just a charm to the weapons you could find in that game. The loot in Dying Light is much more generic and the effectiveness of the weapons has been neutered. The game starts you off with flimsy blunt weapons, which is expected, then you either find or save up your money and buy a sweet new axe or machete, you think that this is going to help you take out everything so much easier, but there isn’t much more of an effect, like maybe instead of dying after 18 hits a guy will die after 15, but that still doesn’t exactly feel effective to me. Also, the weapons degrade quickly, but that doesn’t matter because there is a good amount of weapons to buy and find, but since they have all been nerfed anyway it renders the whole process totally pointless, the loot system is really redundant and has no impact at all on the game. Also the guns are overpowered as all hell. The big guys with the heavy weapons will take you around fifty smacks with a hammer to bring down, but if you have a pistol and jump over a three foot wall, they can’t follow you and so they just stand still, so you just pop two or three caps into their skull and they go down in a couple of seconds. I also dislike how the damage you inflict on an enemy is the same no matter where on the body that you hit them. You can whack a guy repeatedly in the head or the legs and he will fall down in the same amount of time either way.
Overall, this game tries to be the next gen version of Dead Island, but what it delivers is a game that looks and feels like it came out at the same time as its predecessor and in a lot of ways it is even less intuitive than the first game. I know that I keep comparing this game to Dead Island, but I honestly believe that if you are looking for a first person zombie survival game, you should save yourself the cash and go pick up Dead Island as it plays better than this one and is graphically on par. However even though I have torn this game apart for the duration of this review, it is still a good game and I can see why people like it, I just don’t understand the massive amounts of praise it gets when Dead Island was a better game.

Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Lagoon: Land of Druids in Tabletop Games
Jun 12, 2019
One of the best parts of the board gaming experience is finding a fun group of people with whom to play! Sometimes, though, coordinating a game night is easier said than done. We all must occasionally forego the group experience and face the world as the Lonely Only. But fear not! The world of solo-play is a vast and exciting realm! What follows is a chronicle of my journey into the solo-playing world – notes on gameplay, mechanics, rules, difficulty, and overall experience with solo variations of commonly multiplayer games! I hope this will provide some insight as you continue to grow your collection, or explore your already owned games!
Lagoon is a land of harmony and balance. Or at least it WAS until the rise of humanity. The three spiritual energies that once existed in a perfect equilibrium are now fighting for dominance and control over the destiny of Lagoon. Each energy has amassed a following of druids who are working to ensure that their chosen energy is victorious! Which energy will you choose to serve, and will your choice be the correct one in the end? There’s only one way to find out!
Lagoon: Land of the Druids is a game of tile placement and exploration. You are the leader of a circle of druids, and they will do your bidding throughout the game. On your turn, you will take any/all of these five actions: Move, Summon (add one of your reserve druids to the play area), Explore (add a new site tile to the table), Invoke (use a Site Action), or Unravel (remove a site tile from play). You can perform as many of these actions as you want, as long as you have the appropriate resources to spend. Each tile in the game is double-sided, and each side has a unique action/ability associated with it. Strategy is everything – which tile side should you choose to bring into play, and how can you best use the available abilities to benefit your chosen energy? You also have to keep an eye on your opponents because they might be trying to undermine your plans to help their energy achieve success! The game ends when all tiles have been explored, and then players count up points dependent upon which energy was ultimately dominant. The player with the most points is the winner!
As a solo game, Lagoon plays similarly to the multi-player game. Instead of competing against other humans, you are playing against an AI opponent (fondly referred to as “AJ” in the rulebook). On its turn, alternating with yours, the AI executes three steps – Explore, Unravel, and Invoke (perform an action dependent on which druids the AI currently has in play). Each of those steps is explained in more detail in the rulebook. The game ends as in a normal group game, and the player (either you or the AI) with the highest score wins.
The first thing I should mention are the solo rules themselves – they are very wordy and contain lots of ambiguity. It took me a couple of read-throughs before I felt comfortable trying to play, and even now I still keep the solo rules easily accessible when I do play. With so many moving elements in this game, clear and concise rules are necessary for an unencumbered game.
When I say there are a lot of moving elements, I mean it. At any point, you could have up to 5 druids in play, with access to up to 5 unique site powers to invoke in addition to the basic actions you can take on your turn. And on top of that, your druids are spiritually connected, so a druid on one site can use the power of a different site as long as you have a druid there as well. There are also lots of opportunities to combo powers this way, and unless you’re 100% focused, you could lose track of what you already did or forget to pay for an action. And in a solo game, you’re not only tracking this for yourself, you also have to make sure you’re executing the AI turns correctly. There’s just a lot going on and it can be easy to accidentally skip a step.
The thing I dislike most about playing Lagoon solo is that I have to make decisions for the AI. When placing tiles on AI turns, I get to choose which side to play. When the AI unravels a site, I get to choose which site to remove. It’s hard to play this game honestly because I can just choose whatever will benefit ME the most, and not necessarily act in the AI’s best interest. Obviously, a human opponent would do whatever they want for themselves, but in a solo game I am in control of my opponent. The rulebook does offer ways to alleviate this, but I either honestly forget to refer back to the rules for certain situations, or I just choose to ignore the suggestions. I know, I know, that sounds like a personal problem. And I guess it is. I just don’t like the responsibility of having to play two competing sides because it is hard to stay honest. Since this game is so dependent on strategy and personal decisions, there is no good way for an AI opponent to be successful.
Lagoon: Land of the Druids is a complex game that requires more strategy than you think. That being said, I don’t like to play it solo. Each turn offers lots of opportunities, but so many options can be overwhelming. Having to make decisions for the AI is not enjoyable for me because I am aware that I do not always make the best decision for the AI – it’s just hard for me to consciously make decisions detrimental to my game. The idea of this game is neat, but the execution of the solo rules (from their editing to their actual gameplay) just doesn’t work well for me. Give it a try solo if you want, but you’re not really missing a lot if you don’t.
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/solo-chronicles-lagoon-land-of-the-druids/
Lagoon is a land of harmony and balance. Or at least it WAS until the rise of humanity. The three spiritual energies that once existed in a perfect equilibrium are now fighting for dominance and control over the destiny of Lagoon. Each energy has amassed a following of druids who are working to ensure that their chosen energy is victorious! Which energy will you choose to serve, and will your choice be the correct one in the end? There’s only one way to find out!
Lagoon: Land of the Druids is a game of tile placement and exploration. You are the leader of a circle of druids, and they will do your bidding throughout the game. On your turn, you will take any/all of these five actions: Move, Summon (add one of your reserve druids to the play area), Explore (add a new site tile to the table), Invoke (use a Site Action), or Unravel (remove a site tile from play). You can perform as many of these actions as you want, as long as you have the appropriate resources to spend. Each tile in the game is double-sided, and each side has a unique action/ability associated with it. Strategy is everything – which tile side should you choose to bring into play, and how can you best use the available abilities to benefit your chosen energy? You also have to keep an eye on your opponents because they might be trying to undermine your plans to help their energy achieve success! The game ends when all tiles have been explored, and then players count up points dependent upon which energy was ultimately dominant. The player with the most points is the winner!
As a solo game, Lagoon plays similarly to the multi-player game. Instead of competing against other humans, you are playing against an AI opponent (fondly referred to as “AJ” in the rulebook). On its turn, alternating with yours, the AI executes three steps – Explore, Unravel, and Invoke (perform an action dependent on which druids the AI currently has in play). Each of those steps is explained in more detail in the rulebook. The game ends as in a normal group game, and the player (either you or the AI) with the highest score wins.
The first thing I should mention are the solo rules themselves – they are very wordy and contain lots of ambiguity. It took me a couple of read-throughs before I felt comfortable trying to play, and even now I still keep the solo rules easily accessible when I do play. With so many moving elements in this game, clear and concise rules are necessary for an unencumbered game.
When I say there are a lot of moving elements, I mean it. At any point, you could have up to 5 druids in play, with access to up to 5 unique site powers to invoke in addition to the basic actions you can take on your turn. And on top of that, your druids are spiritually connected, so a druid on one site can use the power of a different site as long as you have a druid there as well. There are also lots of opportunities to combo powers this way, and unless you’re 100% focused, you could lose track of what you already did or forget to pay for an action. And in a solo game, you’re not only tracking this for yourself, you also have to make sure you’re executing the AI turns correctly. There’s just a lot going on and it can be easy to accidentally skip a step.
The thing I dislike most about playing Lagoon solo is that I have to make decisions for the AI. When placing tiles on AI turns, I get to choose which side to play. When the AI unravels a site, I get to choose which site to remove. It’s hard to play this game honestly because I can just choose whatever will benefit ME the most, and not necessarily act in the AI’s best interest. Obviously, a human opponent would do whatever they want for themselves, but in a solo game I am in control of my opponent. The rulebook does offer ways to alleviate this, but I either honestly forget to refer back to the rules for certain situations, or I just choose to ignore the suggestions. I know, I know, that sounds like a personal problem. And I guess it is. I just don’t like the responsibility of having to play two competing sides because it is hard to stay honest. Since this game is so dependent on strategy and personal decisions, there is no good way for an AI opponent to be successful.
Lagoon: Land of the Druids is a complex game that requires more strategy than you think. That being said, I don’t like to play it solo. Each turn offers lots of opportunities, but so many options can be overwhelming. Having to make decisions for the AI is not enjoyable for me because I am aware that I do not always make the best decision for the AI – it’s just hard for me to consciously make decisions detrimental to my game. The idea of this game is neat, but the execution of the solo rules (from their editing to their actual gameplay) just doesn’t work well for me. Give it a try solo if you want, but you’re not really missing a lot if you don’t.
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/solo-chronicles-lagoon-land-of-the-druids/

Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Arctic Scavengers in Tabletop Games
Jun 12, 2019
One of the best parts of the board gaming experience is finding a fun group of people with whom to play! Sometimes, though, coordinating a game night is easier said than done. We all must occasionally forego the group experience and face the world as the Lonely Only. But fear not! The world of solo-play is a vast and exciting realm! What follows is a chronicle of my journey into the solo-playing world – notes on gameplay, mechanics, rules, difficulty, and overall experience with solo variations of commonly multiplayer games! I hope this will provide some insight as you continue to grow your collection, or explore your already owned games!
Welcome to the Ice Age. No, not the animated movie. I’m talking about the real deal. Arctic Scavengers is set in a post-apocalyptic ice age where the cold is deadly and the resources are scarce. Any surviving humans have banded together to form ‘tribes’ that are competing for dominance in this frigid tundra. Can you and your tribe outwit your competitors to become the most powerful group? Or will a bigger and more menacing tribe overpower you and jeopardize your survival?
Disclaimer: The solo variant is only addressed in the Recon Expansion rules. There IS another expansion – HQ – but I have not used that content in my solo plays. This review only encompasses the Base Game and Recon Expansion.
Arctic Scavengers is a deck-building game where players are recruiting mercenaries to their tribes, searching for general resources, and battling other tribes for contested resources. Each turn has two main phases – Resource Gathering and Skirmish. During Resource Gathering, you play cards from your hand to either recruit new mercenaries or search the junkyard for general resources. Any remaining cards in your hand are then used during the Skirmish phase – where the player with the highest ‘fight’ value wins the contested resource for that round. At the end of the game, the player with the biggest tribe wins!
The solo variant has some minor differences, but is played essentially the same way. In a solo game, the contested resource cards are divided into 7 skirmishes to be encountered throughout the game. You can decide when to engage in a skirmish – it is not a requirement to encounter one each turn. After each skirmish, you either win and earn a contested resource, or lose and must permanently discard a card from your losing hand. The game ends when all 7 skirmishes have been encountered. The other difference is that each time you have to re-shuffle your discard pile, you must permanently remove the top card of your new deck from the game. Beyond those changes, the game remains the same. At the end of the game, all cards in your tribe are worth certain numbers of points – the goal is to beat your own personal best score.
In theory, this game sounds super cool! But when I actually got to play it solo, I was seriously underwhelmed. The game feels stagnant in the sense that there is no tension or urgency in your strategy. Since YOU get to decide when to engage in a skirmish, it is possible to just while away the time building up your deck until you have enough cards to beat every skirmish. Yes, you permanently discard a card each time you re-shuffle your discard pile, but if you are able to recruit one or two new cards each turn, it negates the penalty of discarding a card. The ability to choose when to engage in skirmishes is seriously over-powered because there is nothing stopping you from ignoring skirmishes and amassing cards for end-game scoring.
The other grievance I have with the game is regarding the Junkyard – the deck of cards where you ‘search’ for resources. The solo rules do not explicitly address setting up the Junkyard deck at all. So do you use one or not? Not having the Junkyard deck can be a serious hinderance – certain mercenaries cannot be recruited without certain resources. If you DO play with the Junkyard, how many cards do you use? Do you use the corresponding cards from the Base game and BOTH expansions? Only Base game and one expansion? Again, not explicitly addressed. I’ve tried using all of the Junkyard cards and that is difficult – there are just too many cards in that deck. I have gone entire games without coming across a necessary resource just because the size of the deck is too large (and I’m apparently a poor card-shuffler). The simple solution to this ambiguity would have been to just address it in the rulebook. But it’s not there, so I’m left guessing as to how I should set it up every time.
I really like the idea of this game. I really don’t like the solo variant though. Not having forced skirmishes makes the game extremely boring for me – I don’t really need a strategy since I can just recruit cards until I can draw a powerful hand. If there was a timeline for skirmishes – maybe something like “You must encounter one skirmish every other turn” – the game would be vastly different. I would actually need to strategize what cards to recruit and how I should delegate my cards on turns with a skirmish. In most games, I will reach a certain point where I choose to encounter a skirmish (that I know I will lose) just because I am starting to get bored. I appreciate the sentiment of including a solo variant, but this one just does not work.
Arctic Scavengers requires decent strategy and it offers good player interaction in group games. In a solo game, however, it is just imbalanced and boring. This is one solo variant that I would not recommend that you try, unless you are including drastic house rules.
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/03/06/solo-chronicles-arctic-scavengers/
Welcome to the Ice Age. No, not the animated movie. I’m talking about the real deal. Arctic Scavengers is set in a post-apocalyptic ice age where the cold is deadly and the resources are scarce. Any surviving humans have banded together to form ‘tribes’ that are competing for dominance in this frigid tundra. Can you and your tribe outwit your competitors to become the most powerful group? Or will a bigger and more menacing tribe overpower you and jeopardize your survival?
Disclaimer: The solo variant is only addressed in the Recon Expansion rules. There IS another expansion – HQ – but I have not used that content in my solo plays. This review only encompasses the Base Game and Recon Expansion.
Arctic Scavengers is a deck-building game where players are recruiting mercenaries to their tribes, searching for general resources, and battling other tribes for contested resources. Each turn has two main phases – Resource Gathering and Skirmish. During Resource Gathering, you play cards from your hand to either recruit new mercenaries or search the junkyard for general resources. Any remaining cards in your hand are then used during the Skirmish phase – where the player with the highest ‘fight’ value wins the contested resource for that round. At the end of the game, the player with the biggest tribe wins!
The solo variant has some minor differences, but is played essentially the same way. In a solo game, the contested resource cards are divided into 7 skirmishes to be encountered throughout the game. You can decide when to engage in a skirmish – it is not a requirement to encounter one each turn. After each skirmish, you either win and earn a contested resource, or lose and must permanently discard a card from your losing hand. The game ends when all 7 skirmishes have been encountered. The other difference is that each time you have to re-shuffle your discard pile, you must permanently remove the top card of your new deck from the game. Beyond those changes, the game remains the same. At the end of the game, all cards in your tribe are worth certain numbers of points – the goal is to beat your own personal best score.
In theory, this game sounds super cool! But when I actually got to play it solo, I was seriously underwhelmed. The game feels stagnant in the sense that there is no tension or urgency in your strategy. Since YOU get to decide when to engage in a skirmish, it is possible to just while away the time building up your deck until you have enough cards to beat every skirmish. Yes, you permanently discard a card each time you re-shuffle your discard pile, but if you are able to recruit one or two new cards each turn, it negates the penalty of discarding a card. The ability to choose when to engage in skirmishes is seriously over-powered because there is nothing stopping you from ignoring skirmishes and amassing cards for end-game scoring.
The other grievance I have with the game is regarding the Junkyard – the deck of cards where you ‘search’ for resources. The solo rules do not explicitly address setting up the Junkyard deck at all. So do you use one or not? Not having the Junkyard deck can be a serious hinderance – certain mercenaries cannot be recruited without certain resources. If you DO play with the Junkyard, how many cards do you use? Do you use the corresponding cards from the Base game and BOTH expansions? Only Base game and one expansion? Again, not explicitly addressed. I’ve tried using all of the Junkyard cards and that is difficult – there are just too many cards in that deck. I have gone entire games without coming across a necessary resource just because the size of the deck is too large (and I’m apparently a poor card-shuffler). The simple solution to this ambiguity would have been to just address it in the rulebook. But it’s not there, so I’m left guessing as to how I should set it up every time.
I really like the idea of this game. I really don’t like the solo variant though. Not having forced skirmishes makes the game extremely boring for me – I don’t really need a strategy since I can just recruit cards until I can draw a powerful hand. If there was a timeline for skirmishes – maybe something like “You must encounter one skirmish every other turn” – the game would be vastly different. I would actually need to strategize what cards to recruit and how I should delegate my cards on turns with a skirmish. In most games, I will reach a certain point where I choose to encounter a skirmish (that I know I will lose) just because I am starting to get bored. I appreciate the sentiment of including a solo variant, but this one just does not work.
Arctic Scavengers requires decent strategy and it offers good player interaction in group games. In a solo game, however, it is just imbalanced and boring. This is one solo variant that I would not recommend that you try, unless you are including drastic house rules.
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/03/06/solo-chronicles-arctic-scavengers/

Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Klang in Video Games
Jun 19, 2019
Klang is a Rhythm/Platformer game and it’s the debut of the developer studio called Tinimations. The environments, visuals, story and gameplay aspects were done by one person named Tom-Ivar Arntzen while the music was done by the EDM composer bLiNd.
The Story:
The premise here is very simple. You assume the role of a tuneblade-wielding elite rave warrior called Klang who wants to free himself from the shackles of a Zeus-like figure named Soundlord Sonus. And so the game begins. There is barely any Story here and it isn’t the focus of the game and it doesn’t contribute to the game whatsoever and if the story is removed entirely, you will barely notice any difference. So if you are the type who plays a game for the story in it or a game that is accompanied by a good premise, then this game isn’t for you. The game focuses mostly on its gameplay aspects.
The Visuals:
The visuals of the game look very beautiful with its Tron-inspired aesthetics. Klang’s design is colorful and stylish. The environment looked gorgeous with all the vibrant neon colors popping out on the screen while you’re playing but on rare occasions, they can be distracting and a bit too much when there are so many things happening at once.
The Sound:
This is one of those games that are worth buying a quality headset or a subwoofer for because the sound design is excellent and the composer bLiNd did a marvelous job with it. Listening to the music with a normal headset or your TV’s sound system doesn’t do it justice. And the way the music and the beat sync with what’s on screen are perfect. The soundtrack is most definitely the best aspect of the game.
The gameplay:
The game mechanics tries to blend rhythm game mechanics and platform game mechanics into one game. That means instead of only pressing buttons that appears on the screen like you normally do in Rhythm games, you also have to traverse the levels by jumping and sliding while pressing the buttons in order to get through the stage.
The controls are fairly simple. Like most 2D games, you use the left thumbstick to move the character left and right and you use the Right thumbstick in one of the eight directions when the icon that looks like a slice of Pizza appears on the screen in one of those eight directions to deflect the incoming attacks. And you use LT to jump and RT to slide throughout the levels.
While blending those game mechanics works very well on most stages, they can also be overwhelming and frustrating at times. For instance, there is a place where you have to dodge lasers by jumping between 5 platforms that falls when the lasers make contact with them (They come back up after a few seconds) so you will have to jump left and right fast and all that combined with rhythm gameplay. It gets very confusing because there are so many things happening at once on the screen and you don’t know whether you should focus on deflecting the attacks or focus on the lasers. One mistake and you are dead so that made it a bit frustrating and annoying instead of challenging. There is a thin line between a game that put your skills to the test and a game that simply frustrates you to cover its flaws.
Unfortunately, I felt like this is the latter because the game itself is very short and if I hadn’t died in the game over 300 times, it would have lasted me an hour. So I felt like the difficulty spike was there just to mask the game’s short length which brings me to the final point in the review.
Difficulty, Length and Replay Value:
The game has three difficulty levels. Easy, Normal and Nightcore Mode. The higher the difficulty, the higher rank you can achieve when you finish a stage. On Easy mode, B Rank is the max possible rank, Normal mode, S Rank is the max possible rank and on Nightcore Mode, SSS Rank is the max possible rank. Also the higher the difficulty, the faster the game music sounds, and the faster the button prompts on screen moves
I started the game on Normal mode it took me 3 hours and 311 deaths to finish. Once you finish the game for the first time, you unlock the hardest mode in the game which is called NightCore mode where everything moves so fast and that includes the music.
In terms of Replay Value, there isn’t much to do after you finish all the stages except for collecting Pirate Tokens which are the in-game collectables that allow you to unlock the game’s Soundtrack in a special level where you can hear them without replaying the other levels just to hear that awesome track.
And you can also replay the game on Nightcore mode if you want to get the highest rank possible in the game. And if you are the Achievement Hunter type then you will find that getting all the achievements will be very time consuming. For instance, there is an achievement that requires you not to die even once throughout the whole game and that is excruciatingly difficult. So, if you are a completionist, then the game will last you for quite a while.
But if you are not, then you won’t find much to do here after you finish its short story mode because it doesn’t have much to offer after that.
Conclusion:
Klang is a great game but its short amount of content and sometimes overwhelmingly difficult levels can put you off. So for that, I give Klang 4/5. Great concept but if the gameplay was more fun and rewarding, and it had more content and unlockables, it would have been a superb game. And I give the developer Tom-Ivar Arntzen SSS for effort and for trying to innovate and do something new with the genre and I am definitely interested to see what he is going to do next.
http://sknr.net/2016/09/23/klang/
The Story:
The premise here is very simple. You assume the role of a tuneblade-wielding elite rave warrior called Klang who wants to free himself from the shackles of a Zeus-like figure named Soundlord Sonus. And so the game begins. There is barely any Story here and it isn’t the focus of the game and it doesn’t contribute to the game whatsoever and if the story is removed entirely, you will barely notice any difference. So if you are the type who plays a game for the story in it or a game that is accompanied by a good premise, then this game isn’t for you. The game focuses mostly on its gameplay aspects.
The Visuals:
The visuals of the game look very beautiful with its Tron-inspired aesthetics. Klang’s design is colorful and stylish. The environment looked gorgeous with all the vibrant neon colors popping out on the screen while you’re playing but on rare occasions, they can be distracting and a bit too much when there are so many things happening at once.
The Sound:
This is one of those games that are worth buying a quality headset or a subwoofer for because the sound design is excellent and the composer bLiNd did a marvelous job with it. Listening to the music with a normal headset or your TV’s sound system doesn’t do it justice. And the way the music and the beat sync with what’s on screen are perfect. The soundtrack is most definitely the best aspect of the game.
The gameplay:
The game mechanics tries to blend rhythm game mechanics and platform game mechanics into one game. That means instead of only pressing buttons that appears on the screen like you normally do in Rhythm games, you also have to traverse the levels by jumping and sliding while pressing the buttons in order to get through the stage.
The controls are fairly simple. Like most 2D games, you use the left thumbstick to move the character left and right and you use the Right thumbstick in one of the eight directions when the icon that looks like a slice of Pizza appears on the screen in one of those eight directions to deflect the incoming attacks. And you use LT to jump and RT to slide throughout the levels.
While blending those game mechanics works very well on most stages, they can also be overwhelming and frustrating at times. For instance, there is a place where you have to dodge lasers by jumping between 5 platforms that falls when the lasers make contact with them (They come back up after a few seconds) so you will have to jump left and right fast and all that combined with rhythm gameplay. It gets very confusing because there are so many things happening at once on the screen and you don’t know whether you should focus on deflecting the attacks or focus on the lasers. One mistake and you are dead so that made it a bit frustrating and annoying instead of challenging. There is a thin line between a game that put your skills to the test and a game that simply frustrates you to cover its flaws.
Unfortunately, I felt like this is the latter because the game itself is very short and if I hadn’t died in the game over 300 times, it would have lasted me an hour. So I felt like the difficulty spike was there just to mask the game’s short length which brings me to the final point in the review.
Difficulty, Length and Replay Value:
The game has three difficulty levels. Easy, Normal and Nightcore Mode. The higher the difficulty, the higher rank you can achieve when you finish a stage. On Easy mode, B Rank is the max possible rank, Normal mode, S Rank is the max possible rank and on Nightcore Mode, SSS Rank is the max possible rank. Also the higher the difficulty, the faster the game music sounds, and the faster the button prompts on screen moves
I started the game on Normal mode it took me 3 hours and 311 deaths to finish. Once you finish the game for the first time, you unlock the hardest mode in the game which is called NightCore mode where everything moves so fast and that includes the music.
In terms of Replay Value, there isn’t much to do after you finish all the stages except for collecting Pirate Tokens which are the in-game collectables that allow you to unlock the game’s Soundtrack in a special level where you can hear them without replaying the other levels just to hear that awesome track.
And you can also replay the game on Nightcore mode if you want to get the highest rank possible in the game. And if you are the Achievement Hunter type then you will find that getting all the achievements will be very time consuming. For instance, there is an achievement that requires you not to die even once throughout the whole game and that is excruciatingly difficult. So, if you are a completionist, then the game will last you for quite a while.
But if you are not, then you won’t find much to do here after you finish its short story mode because it doesn’t have much to offer after that.
Conclusion:
Klang is a great game but its short amount of content and sometimes overwhelmingly difficult levels can put you off. So for that, I give Klang 4/5. Great concept but if the gameplay was more fun and rewarding, and it had more content and unlockables, it would have been a superb game. And I give the developer Tom-Ivar Arntzen SSS for effort and for trying to innovate and do something new with the genre and I am definitely interested to see what he is going to do next.
http://sknr.net/2016/09/23/klang/

Lottie disney bookworm (1056 KP) rated As Old As Time in Books
Aug 16, 2019
Review by Disney Bookworm
I’m going to come right out and say (although you will probably be able to tell if you make it to the end of this blog) that this is, so far, my favourite book in the twisted tale series. Seriously, this is the second time I have read it and I loved it just as much as the first time. I got just as engrossed in the story and I seriously think Liz Braswell and I could be best friends!
As Old As Time is the retelling of Beauty and the Beast and opens with the familiar story of the enchantress and the young, vain prince that we all know. You can probably still picture the stained-glass scene from the original 1991 movie and the dramatic ballroom scene in the 2017 remake.
Refusing to be eclipsed by these though, Braswell follows the well-known tale with: “It was a very good story. It often entertained the woman who lay in her black hole of a room, manacled to a hard, cold bed.”
Wait! What?
There, with one fell swoop, on the second page, Braswell brings an almost gothic darkness to the fairy tale. Of course, some would say it is already dark: very few people who are cursed to become a beast are particularly jolly about the situation! However, Braswell goes one step further by both revealing the story behind the enchantress and taking us on a journey to discover the ugly truth in the present.
Liz Braswell creates a kingdom where magic and non-magic people have lived together peacefully for years but where politics and a lack of cultural understanding is threatening to tear that apart as les charmantes find themselves persecuted by les naturels. (I can’t imagine where she draws her inspiration from(!))
It is in this kingdom that we meet a young dreamer called Maurice and the enchantress Rosalind, Belle’s mother (nicknamed Rose- so clever!). Maurice is very much a younger version of the character we grew up with: loveable and devoted to his inventions. Rosalind however is much more headstrong and impulsive: even changing her appearance on a whim. Her pride is fierce and we first meet her holding her own against a large man insulting ‘her kind’, calling her unnatural and a child of the devil. The bully soon learns the error of his ways when his nose is replaced by a pig’s snout but a warning runs all the way through this tale: “magic always comes back on itself”.
Maurice and Rosalind’s life is happy and settled at first but they soon start to witness the persecution of les charmantes for themselves. Thus, when the King and Queen call on Rosalind to protect them against the advancing plague, she passionately fights for her people…only to be rejected and turned away. Maurice, always the voice of reason, convinces Rosalind to at least protect the children and servants and so it comes to pass that Rosalind later visits the young prince, on the eve of his coronation, carrying with her the simple gift of a rose.
Braswell’s character development is, as always, impressive. Belle is immediately relatable as the kooky bookworm we know and love: her story running parallel to the film until we, as readers, develop a relationship with her parents. It is then that we discover there is a slight edge to Belle. Although clearly tortured by the fact her mother cursed a 10-year-old boy, Braswell’s Belle is desperate to be adventurous and heroic like the characters in her books but soon realises an adventure is not all it is cracked up to be. Like her mother, Belle can be quite impulsive: grabbing the enchanted rose before the beast can stop her and destroying any chance of breaking the spell. However, she is also quick and cunning, tricking the wardrobe into revealing the curse’s timeline. Nevertheless, the bravery of our protagonist can never be doubted and Belle embarks on one hell of a journey to discover the truth about her family and herself.
Uniquely, within As Old As Time we slowly see side-line characters weave their way into the lives and stories of our characters. Levi and Alaric, for example, are old friends of Maurice and Rosalind and are seemingly insignificant to the story at first. However, Levi is also the godfather to Belle and the village bookseller (“If you like it that much, it’s yours!” – that guy). Alaric on the other hand has a significant link to the castle and both carry clues with them that assist Belle on her quest.
Any Beauty and the Beast tale would not be complete without LeFou and Gaston – that infamous double act- but even Gaston is ever so slightly darker than his animated counterpart. Frederic: another friend from the past and, quite frankly, odd from the start also plays a pivotal role in the story but I won’t spoil the surprise for you!
As Old As Time is true to its name: weaving two stories into its plot at different points in time: the story that we all know and the story of how that came to be. It is an ominous tale with curses, murder, creepy ivy statues and a frankly terrifying tour of the lunatic asylum.
It is not all doom and gloom however; Liz Braswell takes a very tongue-in-cheek attitude towards the infamous scenes within Beauty and the Beast: invoking a dry sense of humour into the story. From a chapter named “Be Our … Oh You Know the Rest” to a direct reference to Stockholm Syndrome: Braswell makes sure that we do not expect her novel to be a copycat, heartfelt tale with a happy ending. Belle even remarks to the Beast that hoping she would fall in love with him within a month or so was wildly unrealistic.
This is very much a novel for the cynical Disney lovers amongst us and highly deserving of its title of a twisted tale!
As Old As Time is the retelling of Beauty and the Beast and opens with the familiar story of the enchantress and the young, vain prince that we all know. You can probably still picture the stained-glass scene from the original 1991 movie and the dramatic ballroom scene in the 2017 remake.
Refusing to be eclipsed by these though, Braswell follows the well-known tale with: “It was a very good story. It often entertained the woman who lay in her black hole of a room, manacled to a hard, cold bed.”
Wait! What?
There, with one fell swoop, on the second page, Braswell brings an almost gothic darkness to the fairy tale. Of course, some would say it is already dark: very few people who are cursed to become a beast are particularly jolly about the situation! However, Braswell goes one step further by both revealing the story behind the enchantress and taking us on a journey to discover the ugly truth in the present.
Liz Braswell creates a kingdom where magic and non-magic people have lived together peacefully for years but where politics and a lack of cultural understanding is threatening to tear that apart as les charmantes find themselves persecuted by les naturels. (I can’t imagine where she draws her inspiration from(!))
It is in this kingdom that we meet a young dreamer called Maurice and the enchantress Rosalind, Belle’s mother (nicknamed Rose- so clever!). Maurice is very much a younger version of the character we grew up with: loveable and devoted to his inventions. Rosalind however is much more headstrong and impulsive: even changing her appearance on a whim. Her pride is fierce and we first meet her holding her own against a large man insulting ‘her kind’, calling her unnatural and a child of the devil. The bully soon learns the error of his ways when his nose is replaced by a pig’s snout but a warning runs all the way through this tale: “magic always comes back on itself”.
Maurice and Rosalind’s life is happy and settled at first but they soon start to witness the persecution of les charmantes for themselves. Thus, when the King and Queen call on Rosalind to protect them against the advancing plague, she passionately fights for her people…only to be rejected and turned away. Maurice, always the voice of reason, convinces Rosalind to at least protect the children and servants and so it comes to pass that Rosalind later visits the young prince, on the eve of his coronation, carrying with her the simple gift of a rose.
Braswell’s character development is, as always, impressive. Belle is immediately relatable as the kooky bookworm we know and love: her story running parallel to the film until we, as readers, develop a relationship with her parents. It is then that we discover there is a slight edge to Belle. Although clearly tortured by the fact her mother cursed a 10-year-old boy, Braswell’s Belle is desperate to be adventurous and heroic like the characters in her books but soon realises an adventure is not all it is cracked up to be. Like her mother, Belle can be quite impulsive: grabbing the enchanted rose before the beast can stop her and destroying any chance of breaking the spell. However, she is also quick and cunning, tricking the wardrobe into revealing the curse’s timeline. Nevertheless, the bravery of our protagonist can never be doubted and Belle embarks on one hell of a journey to discover the truth about her family and herself.
Uniquely, within As Old As Time we slowly see side-line characters weave their way into the lives and stories of our characters. Levi and Alaric, for example, are old friends of Maurice and Rosalind and are seemingly insignificant to the story at first. However, Levi is also the godfather to Belle and the village bookseller (“If you like it that much, it’s yours!” – that guy). Alaric on the other hand has a significant link to the castle and both carry clues with them that assist Belle on her quest.
Any Beauty and the Beast tale would not be complete without LeFou and Gaston – that infamous double act- but even Gaston is ever so slightly darker than his animated counterpart. Frederic: another friend from the past and, quite frankly, odd from the start also plays a pivotal role in the story but I won’t spoil the surprise for you!
As Old As Time is true to its name: weaving two stories into its plot at different points in time: the story that we all know and the story of how that came to be. It is an ominous tale with curses, murder, creepy ivy statues and a frankly terrifying tour of the lunatic asylum.
It is not all doom and gloom however; Liz Braswell takes a very tongue-in-cheek attitude towards the infamous scenes within Beauty and the Beast: invoking a dry sense of humour into the story. From a chapter named “Be Our … Oh You Know the Rest” to a direct reference to Stockholm Syndrome: Braswell makes sure that we do not expect her novel to be a copycat, heartfelt tale with a happy ending. Belle even remarks to the Beast that hoping she would fall in love with him within a month or so was wildly unrealistic.
This is very much a novel for the cynical Disney lovers amongst us and highly deserving of its title of a twisted tale!

Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated The Lighthouse (2019) in Movies
Oct 24, 2019
Growing up I remember watching Alfred Hitchcock Presents on USA network and catching the occasional twilight zone on the weekends. In fact, it’s hard to believe that our second TV was a small black and white 13” TV that we would watch all types of shows on when our living room TV was otherwise preoccupied. While all these shows were only available in black and white, they still portrayed a frightening imagery that likely would lose a lot of their suspense if the show had been presented in color. The Lighthouse, the second feature directed by Robert Eggers (The Witch) utilizes not only a black and white picture to build on the dread of loneliness the film wishes to convey, but also presents itself in a boxy format, to better mimic silent films of a bygone era.
The Lighthouse features Willem Dafoe as Thomas Wake, a grizzled old lighthouse keeper who begins his four-week duty on a secluded lighthouse with Ephraim Winslow (Robert Pattinson), a man who has never worked a lighthouse in his young life. Thomas a former seaman who longs for his time back on the waves directs Ephraim around in his duties as one would expect from an experienced sea captain, teaching Ephraim the way of a lighthouse keeper. One rule that Ephraim must obey is that no one manages the light except Thomas, and no one may look upon its glory except Thomas. Reluctant to obey but not wishing to lose his pay Ephraim obliges and the two spend four weeks managing their duties as best as they can.
It’s after the four weeks, when their relief fails to arrive, that things begin to go off the rails. It is here where the secrets begin to emerge, and the audience is left to wonder whether these two will ever make it off the island. It’s here where the film begins to intensify as the struggle for survival with dwindling supplies, and the effects of loneliness and solitude begin to rear its ugly head. Where each mans sanity will be tested and the bond, they have built over the past four weeks will be put to the test.
The Lighthouse is a movie that is difficult to put into any one genre. Much of the movie plays out like a drama, where the old man and the newcomer work to overcome their differences as one mentors the other. The movie always has an underlying sense of dread, wondering what will come next. As the film progresses, the genre changes, and the suspense and horror begin to develop. What was a job where each man understood their roles becomes a race for survival. The questions begin to mount as we see the characters relationship morph and change. Why did Ephraim choose a life of solitude so far from civilization?
Why doesn’t Thomas allow anyone to man the light but him? What is each men hiding from one another?
William Dafoe does another outstanding job as the gruff, old lighthouse keeper. His accent, mannerisms and evening toasts all are performed with such authenticity that it’s hard to distinguish the actor from the character.
The real surprise was the performance of Robert Pattinson who is best known for his previous works on the Twilight series. He brings so much character to the screen that I would have had a hard time recognizing him if I didn’t know he was in the movie. He delivers a performance that is likely to garner Oscar buzz, something that wouldn’t surprise fans of William Dafoe, but might shock fans of Robert Pattinson. Robert Pattinson in this role is by far the best performance he’s ever done in his career and all, including his most devoted fans, will be pleasantly surprised by his performance in this film.
As I discussed in the opening paragraph, some films and shows play best to the medium that they are recorded on. Much like the old Alfred Hitchcock movies/shows, The Lighthouse benefits from its use of black and white and its boxy presentation. While there is certainly plenty of dialog throughout, it still takes on a very “silent movie” feel. One that you could almost expect to see placards of dialog appear instead of the actual words coming out on the screen. It is this stunning use of the above that truly brings The Lighthouse alive, and if done in color would have lost much of its personality in the process.
There is a ton of imagery and symbolism which I’m sure will be argued about on numerous Reddit posts for the next few days and weeks to come. I won’t pretend to understand much of it, and I believe that Eggers leaves many of what we see open for interpretation. Everything from the lighthouse itself, to the seagulls, to the mermaids (yes you read that correctly) all are open for discussion. After watching it I couldn’t help but wonder what the discussion of this particular film would have led to in my theater appreciation course back in college. That’s not to say that you can’t simply sit back and enjoy it for what it is, I just think its far more beneficial to think of what was seen and try to understand the meaning of it all.
The Lighthouse isn’t a movie that will appeal to everyone. For those who want a scary and suspenseful movie, it would be difficult to recommend.
While it certainly has suspense, it suspenseful in the way of an old Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock movie, as opposed to something more recent like Paranormal Activity. The black and white video and the odd boxy aspect ratio may turn off a lot of folks as well, although I certainly don’t see it being as fascinating if it was done in any other way. There is a lot to love in this movie, and the character portrayals deserve the Oscar buzz that is certainly right around the corner. It’s a movie that is far easier to experience then to explain in a review, so I encourage those with even a little bit of curiosity to take the plunge and experience it for yourself.
The Lighthouse features Willem Dafoe as Thomas Wake, a grizzled old lighthouse keeper who begins his four-week duty on a secluded lighthouse with Ephraim Winslow (Robert Pattinson), a man who has never worked a lighthouse in his young life. Thomas a former seaman who longs for his time back on the waves directs Ephraim around in his duties as one would expect from an experienced sea captain, teaching Ephraim the way of a lighthouse keeper. One rule that Ephraim must obey is that no one manages the light except Thomas, and no one may look upon its glory except Thomas. Reluctant to obey but not wishing to lose his pay Ephraim obliges and the two spend four weeks managing their duties as best as they can.
It’s after the four weeks, when their relief fails to arrive, that things begin to go off the rails. It is here where the secrets begin to emerge, and the audience is left to wonder whether these two will ever make it off the island. It’s here where the film begins to intensify as the struggle for survival with dwindling supplies, and the effects of loneliness and solitude begin to rear its ugly head. Where each mans sanity will be tested and the bond, they have built over the past four weeks will be put to the test.
The Lighthouse is a movie that is difficult to put into any one genre. Much of the movie plays out like a drama, where the old man and the newcomer work to overcome their differences as one mentors the other. The movie always has an underlying sense of dread, wondering what will come next. As the film progresses, the genre changes, and the suspense and horror begin to develop. What was a job where each man understood their roles becomes a race for survival. The questions begin to mount as we see the characters relationship morph and change. Why did Ephraim choose a life of solitude so far from civilization?
Why doesn’t Thomas allow anyone to man the light but him? What is each men hiding from one another?
William Dafoe does another outstanding job as the gruff, old lighthouse keeper. His accent, mannerisms and evening toasts all are performed with such authenticity that it’s hard to distinguish the actor from the character.
The real surprise was the performance of Robert Pattinson who is best known for his previous works on the Twilight series. He brings so much character to the screen that I would have had a hard time recognizing him if I didn’t know he was in the movie. He delivers a performance that is likely to garner Oscar buzz, something that wouldn’t surprise fans of William Dafoe, but might shock fans of Robert Pattinson. Robert Pattinson in this role is by far the best performance he’s ever done in his career and all, including his most devoted fans, will be pleasantly surprised by his performance in this film.
As I discussed in the opening paragraph, some films and shows play best to the medium that they are recorded on. Much like the old Alfred Hitchcock movies/shows, The Lighthouse benefits from its use of black and white and its boxy presentation. While there is certainly plenty of dialog throughout, it still takes on a very “silent movie” feel. One that you could almost expect to see placards of dialog appear instead of the actual words coming out on the screen. It is this stunning use of the above that truly brings The Lighthouse alive, and if done in color would have lost much of its personality in the process.
There is a ton of imagery and symbolism which I’m sure will be argued about on numerous Reddit posts for the next few days and weeks to come. I won’t pretend to understand much of it, and I believe that Eggers leaves many of what we see open for interpretation. Everything from the lighthouse itself, to the seagulls, to the mermaids (yes you read that correctly) all are open for discussion. After watching it I couldn’t help but wonder what the discussion of this particular film would have led to in my theater appreciation course back in college. That’s not to say that you can’t simply sit back and enjoy it for what it is, I just think its far more beneficial to think of what was seen and try to understand the meaning of it all.
The Lighthouse isn’t a movie that will appeal to everyone. For those who want a scary and suspenseful movie, it would be difficult to recommend.
While it certainly has suspense, it suspenseful in the way of an old Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock movie, as opposed to something more recent like Paranormal Activity. The black and white video and the odd boxy aspect ratio may turn off a lot of folks as well, although I certainly don’t see it being as fascinating if it was done in any other way. There is a lot to love in this movie, and the character portrayals deserve the Oscar buzz that is certainly right around the corner. It’s a movie that is far easier to experience then to explain in a review, so I encourage those with even a little bit of curiosity to take the plunge and experience it for yourself.

Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra in Tabletop Games
Oct 15, 2019
Sometimes, finding a game that the entire group loves can be extremely difficult. Such was not the case when Purple Phoenix Games played Azul. We immediately fell in love with it, as you can see by its well-earned Golden Feather Award. So when Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra was released, we knew we had to try it! A reimplementation of a game we all loved – we were so stoked to get it to the table. How does this ‘sequel’ hold up to the OG Azul? Keep reading to find out!
For many years you have worked as a tile layer, creating uniquely beautiful mosaics that adorn walls all around the world. Taking your expert skills, you’ve decided to hone your talent into a new form of mosaic decoration – stained glass windows. Select the most colorful glass combinations to create elaborate and beautiful designs, all while being careful not to waste or break any of your supplies in the process! Years of tile-laying have resulted in a steady hand, but glass is a different story. Does your talent and eye for design transcend materials, or are you better left to your familiar ceramic tiles?
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review. I will briefly go over the turn order, but will leave the specifics for you to discover in the rulebook! – L
Like Azul, Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra is a game of pattern building, set collection, and tile placement. To set up, each player receives a palace board, 8 double-sided pattern strips, and glazier (pawn) in their chosen color. All players need to select the same side, A or B, for their palace boards, but the pattern strips can be placed with either side face-up. Place your glazier above the left-most pattern strip, and you are ready to go! The designated score-keeper sets up the score board – placing each players’ scoring cube on the score track and broken glass track, as well as randomly placing 1 tile of each color on the round tracker. Much like OG Azul, a certain number of factories are in play, each populated with 4 pane tiles. Now the game can begin!
On your turn, you may do one of two things – Advance a pattern, or Move your glazier to the left-most pattern strip. If you choose to advance a pattern, you complete these three steps: Select pane pieces of one color from a factory or the middle of the table, place the pieces on one of your pattern strips, and check to see if the pattern is complete. Easy enough! There are a few placement restrictions to keep in mind, and they are detailed in the rulebook. Moving on, after placing your tiles, if the pattern strip is not yet full, your turn is over and play continues with the next player. If you have successfully filled the entire pattern strip, you get to immediately score that window, and then your turn ends. Specific steps for scoring are found in the rulebook. The other action available to you on your turn is to move your glazier back to the left-most pattern strip. Once you do this, your turn is over. Play continues over six rounds, and the player at the end of the game with the most points is the winner!
So how does Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra hold up? I think it’s a pretty great game. It’s very mechanically and thematically similar to the original Azul, but there is enough of a difference in gameplay that keeps it interesting. It doesn’t just feel like the exact same game to me, even if there are many similarities between the two. There definitely is a good amount of strategy involved, and I think the addition of the glazier (which can sorta restrict your placement options) adds a new level of complexity to the game. Do you dare ‘waste’ a turn to reset your glazier, or do you risk the points and try to complete your current pattern strip?
Another great thing about this game is the variability of it. Each player receives 8 double-sided pattern strips to begin the game. The strips can be placed with whichever face up or down that you want. So no two players will ever have the same setup, just as you will probably never have the same setup yourself between plays. One wrong placement could maybe end up costing you the game! There is no ‘right’ setup, and the fact that everyone’s setup will be different makes the game a little more unique.
Of course, the components are great and the tiles are so much fun to handle. Unlike OG Azul, these tiles are semi-transparent and crystalline, giving them the semblance of actual glass. The pattern strips/palace boards are good, sturdy cardboard, and can definitely withstand the amount of manipulation they see each game. My one qualm is with the score tracker. Instead of moving linearly, the score tracker moves kind of zig-zag-y around the board, and it takes me a minute sometimes to read the points and move my marker quickly because my eyes have to figure out the score line. Yeah, it looks cool, but its just a little inconvenient for me while playing.
Overall, I think Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra is a great ‘sequel’ to Azul. It feels familiar in mechanics and theme, but different enough in overall gameplay that I think it is a good stand-alone reimplementation. And guess what? Another Azul game is in the works! Titled Azul: Summer Pavilion, it is yet another game of tile drafting/placement and set collection. Since I have high praise for Stained Glass of Sintra, I am definitely looking forward to this newest version of Azul, coming soon! Purple Phoenix Games gives Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra, a colorful 9 / 12.
For many years you have worked as a tile layer, creating uniquely beautiful mosaics that adorn walls all around the world. Taking your expert skills, you’ve decided to hone your talent into a new form of mosaic decoration – stained glass windows. Select the most colorful glass combinations to create elaborate and beautiful designs, all while being careful not to waste or break any of your supplies in the process! Years of tile-laying have resulted in a steady hand, but glass is a different story. Does your talent and eye for design transcend materials, or are you better left to your familiar ceramic tiles?
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review. I will briefly go over the turn order, but will leave the specifics for you to discover in the rulebook! – L
Like Azul, Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra is a game of pattern building, set collection, and tile placement. To set up, each player receives a palace board, 8 double-sided pattern strips, and glazier (pawn) in their chosen color. All players need to select the same side, A or B, for their palace boards, but the pattern strips can be placed with either side face-up. Place your glazier above the left-most pattern strip, and you are ready to go! The designated score-keeper sets up the score board – placing each players’ scoring cube on the score track and broken glass track, as well as randomly placing 1 tile of each color on the round tracker. Much like OG Azul, a certain number of factories are in play, each populated with 4 pane tiles. Now the game can begin!
On your turn, you may do one of two things – Advance a pattern, or Move your glazier to the left-most pattern strip. If you choose to advance a pattern, you complete these three steps: Select pane pieces of one color from a factory or the middle of the table, place the pieces on one of your pattern strips, and check to see if the pattern is complete. Easy enough! There are a few placement restrictions to keep in mind, and they are detailed in the rulebook. Moving on, after placing your tiles, if the pattern strip is not yet full, your turn is over and play continues with the next player. If you have successfully filled the entire pattern strip, you get to immediately score that window, and then your turn ends. Specific steps for scoring are found in the rulebook. The other action available to you on your turn is to move your glazier back to the left-most pattern strip. Once you do this, your turn is over. Play continues over six rounds, and the player at the end of the game with the most points is the winner!
So how does Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra hold up? I think it’s a pretty great game. It’s very mechanically and thematically similar to the original Azul, but there is enough of a difference in gameplay that keeps it interesting. It doesn’t just feel like the exact same game to me, even if there are many similarities between the two. There definitely is a good amount of strategy involved, and I think the addition of the glazier (which can sorta restrict your placement options) adds a new level of complexity to the game. Do you dare ‘waste’ a turn to reset your glazier, or do you risk the points and try to complete your current pattern strip?
Another great thing about this game is the variability of it. Each player receives 8 double-sided pattern strips to begin the game. The strips can be placed with whichever face up or down that you want. So no two players will ever have the same setup, just as you will probably never have the same setup yourself between plays. One wrong placement could maybe end up costing you the game! There is no ‘right’ setup, and the fact that everyone’s setup will be different makes the game a little more unique.
Of course, the components are great and the tiles are so much fun to handle. Unlike OG Azul, these tiles are semi-transparent and crystalline, giving them the semblance of actual glass. The pattern strips/palace boards are good, sturdy cardboard, and can definitely withstand the amount of manipulation they see each game. My one qualm is with the score tracker. Instead of moving linearly, the score tracker moves kind of zig-zag-y around the board, and it takes me a minute sometimes to read the points and move my marker quickly because my eyes have to figure out the score line. Yeah, it looks cool, but its just a little inconvenient for me while playing.
Overall, I think Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra is a great ‘sequel’ to Azul. It feels familiar in mechanics and theme, but different enough in overall gameplay that I think it is a good stand-alone reimplementation. And guess what? Another Azul game is in the works! Titled Azul: Summer Pavilion, it is yet another game of tile drafting/placement and set collection. Since I have high praise for Stained Glass of Sintra, I am definitely looking forward to this newest version of Azul, coming soon! Purple Phoenix Games gives Azul: Stained Glass of Sintra, a colorful 9 / 12.