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Awix (3310 KP) rated Fifty Shades Freed (2018) in Movies
Feb 12, 2018 (Updated Feb 12, 2018)
Mercifully brief compared to the other two (1 more)
A good advert for celibacy
Once More Unto the Sex Dungeon
(Hey, I know no shame, I will admit to watching this.) Yet more underwhelming shenanigans from the crayon of E.L. James, as thinly-characterised everygirl Anastasia and mysteriously alluring ripped billionaire Christian Grey embark upon married life together.
More of the same mixture of blandly aspirational low-octane soap opera and profoundly unerotic softcore porno; difficult to say which is more boring. Scores somewhat over the second one by actually having a sort of thriller subplot, which means there are moments which approach being dramatic. Supposedly edgy and transgressive saga concludes with the most conventional image of domestic happiness imaginable; says it all really. One quite funny line: too involved to repeat here, alas.
More of the same mixture of blandly aspirational low-octane soap opera and profoundly unerotic softcore porno; difficult to say which is more boring. Scores somewhat over the second one by actually having a sort of thriller subplot, which means there are moments which approach being dramatic. Supposedly edgy and transgressive saga concludes with the most conventional image of domestic happiness imaginable; says it all really. One quite funny line: too involved to repeat here, alas.

John Lydon recommended Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush in Music (curated)

Jeff Bridges recommended The Amateurs (The Moguls) (Dirty Movie) (2005) in Movies (curated)

Harvey Weinstein recommended Two for the Road (1967) in Movies (curated)

Harvey Weinstein recommended And Now My Love (1974) in Movies (curated)

LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated Open Water (2003) in Movies
Sep 19, 2020
Admirable for what it had to work with, and I guess it gets points for being one of the most realistic shark movies out there - but why the hell did this terrify everyone back in the day lmfao. It amounts to a somehow pointedly slow 81 minutes (less after credits) of a couple bickering at sea while... like, occasionally seeing a jellyfish or maybe half a second of a shark from far away. This actually works better as an (intentional) comedy than a horror film, and the beginning of this feels like a weird ass porno, too - complete with millimeters away from couples full-frontal nudity in a dingy hotel room. The one thing this has going for it is that they're in *real* ocean water with *real* sharks, and on that front there are some real motherfucker shots in this that made me jump just on principle. There's also just some really terrific footage of various sea + land creatures in this that help add to the realism. When all is said and done I have to give props to that brutally hopeless coda though, Jesus Christ - made my skin crawl and actually made this whole product grow on me a lot more than my initial measure. But it fucks around too much and even though it does what it can decently well, it isn't enough. While I still think it's too unfair of a reaction, I can clearly see why everyone hates this now.

Lyndsey Gollogly (2893 KP) rated How Hard Can it Be? ( Handcuffs and Happily Ever After 1) in Books
Jun 21, 2024
121 of 220
Audio
How Hard can it be? ( Handcuffs and Happily ever after 1)
By Robyn Peterman
⭐️⭐️⭐️
What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail—just to start with . . .
Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I’ve embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?
Leave it to me to wind up in a group of porno writing grannies who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a bestselling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn’t commit—by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I’ve found my calling after all . . .
This was actually quite funny as well as being endearing in places. I did laugh while finishing it on the bus as well as getting quite hot under the collar with certain parts while in public 😂😂. I’m really starting to like this author!
Audio
How Hard can it be? ( Handcuffs and Happily ever after 1)
By Robyn Peterman
⭐️⭐️⭐️
What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail—just to start with . . .
Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I’ve embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?
Leave it to me to wind up in a group of porno writing grannies who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a bestselling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn’t commit—by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I’ve found my calling after all . . .
This was actually quite funny as well as being endearing in places. I did laugh while finishing it on the bus as well as getting quite hot under the collar with certain parts while in public 😂😂. I’m really starting to like this author!

Rob Zombie recommended Taxi Driver (1976) in Movies (curated)

Scott Tostik (389 KP) rated Three on A Meathook (1972) in Movies
Jan 6, 2019
The Porno 70's Soundtrack (1 more)
The Dad character
About a million gratuitous boob shots (1 more)
The plot is somewhat absent...ish
Huh.... Kinda cool...ish
Contains spoilers, click to show
When you review cheesy horror films for fun while your fiancee is alseep.... And you have to keep the volune down so you can barely hear the drivel that most scripted movies spew out... Captions are always an option.
When they work...
This movie is sorta bad to begin with. The camera work is sub par. Tue acting is all around shite. And lets be honest here.... The only good part about this film was the creativity of the kills for the time it was made.
The movie breaks down at the halfway point when it turns into Billy goes to tue city lookin for love and all he finds is a brunette skank who wants to come to his farm after knowing him for 15 seconds in a bar.... But its true love
Lobg story short... Billy's Daddy is a psychopath... Blood is spilt... Carnage insues... And boobs are flashed a plenty....
But not even glorious tan lined hooters can save this thing.... Only reason i rated it what i did... Is because i could see how modern day horror film writers and directors would use this as source material for writing their own slasher style scripts. Its groundbreaking... I admit that... It's just not... Well... It's not Black Christmas enough to be considered the first slasher style film of the 70's... Watch it if you want to.... I recommend it to those who want to go into horror directing or writing as both things to do and not to do.
On to the next....
When they work...
This movie is sorta bad to begin with. The camera work is sub par. Tue acting is all around shite. And lets be honest here.... The only good part about this film was the creativity of the kills for the time it was made.
The movie breaks down at the halfway point when it turns into Billy goes to tue city lookin for love and all he finds is a brunette skank who wants to come to his farm after knowing him for 15 seconds in a bar.... But its true love
Lobg story short... Billy's Daddy is a psychopath... Blood is spilt... Carnage insues... And boobs are flashed a plenty....
But not even glorious tan lined hooters can save this thing.... Only reason i rated it what i did... Is because i could see how modern day horror film writers and directors would use this as source material for writing their own slasher style scripts. Its groundbreaking... I admit that... It's just not... Well... It's not Black Christmas enough to be considered the first slasher style film of the 70's... Watch it if you want to.... I recommend it to those who want to go into horror directing or writing as both things to do and not to do.
On to the next....

LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (2009) in Movies
Apr 11, 2021
I mean, just read the title. Its reputation absolutely precedes it - one of the most hateful, tasteless, depraved movies ever to have a wide release within the last 50 years. Pure sleaze, one last battle cry from the 2000s signature brand of worshipping the most objectionable fratbro stupidity there is out there (no surprise that this, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, and 𝘔𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 all came out the same year) - which usually I'm averse to, but even after having seen thousands of movies at this point even *I* was shocked at how mean they played this. On that level alone I admire it for the sole purpose that this would never get made today; it set out to be vile and by God did it accomplish that without reservation. I also like how they (smartly) removed all pretense and for once in one of these just decided to play the lead character as a self-confessed sociopath (not to mention Matt Czuchry is fucking aces in this role). They take the entire core concept of these movies and - against all expectations - flip it right on its head so rather than us being expected to empathize with this creep, the story instead becomes about how the people around him cope/rationalize with being friends with a psycho. And on that note, the three leads are cleverly realized as the three types of misogynist you're likely to see in these sorts of college groups (the one with no delusions about his hatred of women, the one who also hates women but plays coy about it, and the one who's convinced he's above it all despite enabling the previous two while also casually partaking in it himself albeit not as often). My biggest gripe? The porno-cheap production. You couldn't get a real director to touch this thing? But hey the dwarf stripper stuff is *riotously* funny.