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The A-Team (2010)
The A-Team (2010)
2010 | Action
Leaden remake of the popular-in-the-80s-but-only-possible-to-enjoy-ironically-now TV action show. Unhinged special-forces unit the A-Team are framed for a crime they didn't commit, bust out of prison, try to clear their names by going to Germany. Where, you may be wondering, is the mom 'n' pop store being threatened by cheap gangsters the team are called in to protect? Where is Hannibal putting on a stupid disguise? Where is the bit where the bad guys lock them in a shed with a load of welding gear, allowing them to build an armoured car out of bits of old washing machine? Where is the scene where they spray 35,000 rounds of .223 ammunition at the bad guys, destroying everything in sight but leaving their targets miraculously unscathed? Friends, none of these things are here.

Instead it's almost as if the A-Team have wandered into a rather downbeat Mission: Impossible movie, or possibly one of the Bournes. You don't expect to have to wrestle with the plot of The A-Team but there's a confusing tangle of double-crosses and betrayals between military intelligence, the CIA and private security firms at the heart of this. Seems to fundamentally misunderstand the essential cheesy disposability of The A-Team by trying to make it feel like a serious drama. I wouldn't have thought it was possible: this manages to be both inauthentic to the original series and also bad.