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Awix (3310 KP) rated Battleship (2012) in Movies

Mar 7, 2018 (Updated Mar 7, 2018)  
Battleship (2012)
Battleship (2012)
2012 | Action, Sci-Fi
Zombie reflexes in the Hollywood blockbuster machine sputtered into a grisly half-life and pondered the question 'if movies about the Transformers toys make so much money, what other toy/game based rubbish can we railroad audiences into going to see?' And the answer that came back was 'let's do a movie based on Battleship, featuring the pop-star Rihanna'.

Utterly dimwitted action blockbuster and Michael Bay pastiche; the weird thing is that Michael Bay pastiches are marginally better than actual Michael Bay films, mainly because if your starting point is a Michael Bay film the only way is up. This is still insultingly stupid. The actors deserve some kind of credit for getting through the film with straight faces, given it includes a laboriously contrived sequence where the characters are basically playing real-life Battleships against the aliens. Somehow made even worse by the way it fawns over members of the military (subtext being that it's unpatriotic not to like this movie). The special effects are not too bad but considering this is a movie with a $210 million budget that's like saying they remembered to put film in the camera.