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Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
2016 | Fantasy
Some of the lighting is well implemented (1 more)
Colin Farrell
Bad CGI (2 more)
The movies 3 leads are extremely annoying
Johnny 'oooh' Depp
Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them - Or JK Rowling and the Never Ending Quest for More Money
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off, full disclosure, I have never been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise. I’ve read a few of the books and seen a few of the movies and it just isn’t my thing. Honestly, I’m not even a fan of fantasy in general, I think Lord Of The Rings is nonsense and Game Of Thrones is vastly overrated and the last Harry Potter movie I saw was the fourth one. However, I was willing to go into this movie with a clean slate and hopefully have it win me over and unfortunately it didn’t. Also this review will contain spoilers if you care about that sort of thing.

This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.

So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.

So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.

Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.

Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.

Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
  
Dinosaur Island
Dinosaur Island
2017 | Dice Game, Economic
One of the best parts of the board gaming experience is finding a fun group of people with whom to play! Sometimes, though, coordinating a game night is easier said than done. We all must occasionally forego the group experience and face the world as the Lonely Only. But fear not! The world of solo-play is a vast and exciting realm! What follows is a chronicle of my journey into the solo-playing world – notes on gameplay, mechanics, rules, difficulty, and overall experience with solo variations of commonly multiplayer games! I hope this will provide some insight as you continue to grow your collection, or explore your already owned games!

In Dinosaur Island, you have successfully created a theme park of the Jurassic variety (see what I did there?), and are now tasked with managing and supervising the day-to-day operations. Think “Zoo Tycoon” on steroids. You have to collect new DNA, upgrade your facilities, build new attractions, hire specialists, oversee your workers, and create new dinosaurs to populate your park! Make sure you manage your resources wisely for maximum benefit, and keep a close eye on the security of your park to ensure the safety of your guests! The goal is to create and maintain the most successful dinosaur park!

DISCLAIMER: An expansion exists for Dinosaur Island, and I do own it, but I have yet to incorporate it into my games. Once I get some experience with the expansion, I will either amend this review or address it in a separate post! -L

Let me first begin this review by saying that there is A LOT going on in this game. Seriously, a lot. And it can be pretty overwhelming at first. But one thing I cannot praise enough about Dinosaur Island is its rulebook. It’s kind of hefty, but it is so detailed and clear (with numerous examples) that I understood how to play the game on my first read-through. And sometimes with games that have so many moving elements, total understanding from the get-go can be rare, for me especially. The excellent rulebook makes a seemingly daunting game not so scary. I always keep the rulebook on hand when I play (just to be safe!), but once I got the hang of all of the steps, I don’t really need to refer back to it anymore!

As a solo game, Dinosaur Island plays very similarly as it does in group play with a few minor differences. For one, no regular Objective cards are used – instead you use a set of specified Solo Objective cards. Next, to simulate player interaction during the Research and Market Phases, the solo player draws a card from an AI deck and eliminates the options/discards the resources listed on the card – this mimics group play in the sense that turn order changes every round and you do not always get your first pick during these phases. The remaining 2 Phases (Worker and Park) occur simultaneously and involve no player interaction, so those are played as normal. One final difference between group and solo play is that the solo player can choose to play without Plot Twist cards. A solo game is played over the course of 7 total rounds, and the overall goal of the game remains the same – amass the most Victory Points.

The trickiest part of playing Dinosaur Island solo, for me, has to do with the Solo Objectives. You have 7 Solo Objectives to be completed throughout the game, and they reward Victory Points based on the round in which they were completed – finishing objectives in earlier rounds yields a higher number of points. If you are unable to complete any objective in a given round, you must discard one (of your choice) at the end of that round. The hard thing is that depending on which objectives are currently in play, it can be difficult to complete one each round to earn those points. Some things take time (and a couple of rounds) to be able to complete – like “Reach a threat level of 15.” If you have multiple long-term objectives in play, they can really limit the number of points you can earn from them. A nice mix of objectives (both short-term and long-term) can help balance out the game a little more, but it’s ultimately a luck of the draw.

One positive thing I can say about the objectives, though, is that they really force you to come up with a multi-faceted strategy. Depending on which objectives are in play, you have to decide on a logical strategy and order in which to complete them for maximum points. You can’t just focus on one objective – you also need to be setting yourself up to complete future objectives. I never feel like I’m just going through the motions because I always need to be thinking ahead to my future rounds.

The thing I really like about Dinosaur Island as a solo game is that it is still extremely engaging. I’m not a huge fan of “Beat your own personal best” solo games, but this one keeps me so involved that I don’t mind the fact that there’s no real ‘winner.’ Since a group game doesn’t involve that much player interaction anyway, Dinosaur Island doesn’t really even necessarily feel like a solo game. Every play requires a different strategy, and that makes it feel like a new game every time. If you enjoy Dinosaur Island in a group setting, give it a try as a solo game. There’s really not much of a gameplay difference, and I think you’ll enjoy it just as much!

https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/05/21/solo-chronicles-dinosaur-island/
  
Cthulhu's Vault
Cthulhu's Vault
2015 | Adventure, Card Game
As a kid, one thing my siblings and I used to do was play a storytelling game in which we created a (usually) hilarious story, one word at a time. You know the kind. One person starts the sentence with a single word, the next person in line adds a word, and so on, resulting in some ridiculous storyline that ultimately makes little overall sense. So when I heard about Cthulhu’s Vault, a game with a storytelling aspect, I was keen to try it! Even though the subject matter is obviously a little darker, does the overall game live up to my childhood memories of creating stories?

Cthulhu’s Vault is a card game in which players are working together to craft an occult story, which will ultimately lead to a final battle with one of the Ancient Ones. To setup the game, each player receives an Ancient One card (kept face-down), 7 Story cards, and 2 Power tokens (one Investigator and one Cultist). Power tokens are kept face-down and are secret from other players. The remaining Power tokens are placed into two pools – either face-up or face-down as described in the rules – and a starting Story card is drawn and placed in the middle of the play area. The Power Guide card is placed off to the side, visible to players, and shows the amount of Cultist Power necessary to awaken your Ancient One during play. Select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!

The game is broken down into two phases: the Mystery Stage and the Epic Battle Stage. The Mystery Stage begins the game, and consists of the storytelling element. On your turn, you will select a Story card from your hand and play it to the table. Here’s the catch – all players are trying to create a cohesive storyline, so you are encouraged to narrate and chain together a single story with the addition of each new Story card. After you play your Story card and tell your brief addition to the tale, you will collect a number of Power tokens as described on your played Story card, receiving Bonus tokens if applicable. The Mystery Stage continues in this fashion until a player has acquired the requisite number of Cultist Power tokens necessary to awaken their Ancient One. At the start of that turn, the player will reveal their Ancient One, and the Mystery Stage ends immediately.

Moving on to the Epic Battle Stage, there is a small bit of setup. All remaining Story cards are discarded, and Investigator cards are displayed. The player who awoke their Ancient One collects a number of Power tokens equal to the health of their creature, gathers/shuffles the Ancient One Combat Deck, and draws a hand of 3 Combat cards. All remaining players will select an Investigator to play, in order, depending on the total number of Investigator Power tokens gained during the Mystery Stage. Players will discard down to/collect a number of Power tokens to match the health of their Investigator, shuffle the Investigator Combat Deck, and draw a number of cards as dictated by their Investigator card. A Battle Order deck is created and shuffled, and will dictate the order of actions during each Epic Battle turn. The Epic Battle Stage is now ready to begin.


During the Epic Battle, a card from the Battle Order deck is revealed – either an Investigator or the Ancient One. The corresponding player will then act, playing a card from their hand, performing the action (usually Wounding the opponent), and then drawing back up to their hand limit. Play continues in this way until either the Ancient One is defeated (all Health depleted), or all the Investigators are devoured by the Ancient One. If the Ancient One is defeated, the Investigators have won! And if the Ancient One has eliminated all the Investigators, then that player wins. Either way, whomever wins is encouraged to come up with a brief epilogue to bring the overall story to an end.
So all in all, how does Cthulhu’s Vault fare? Honestly, not too great. Let’s start with the rulebook. It has some areas of serious ambiguity and confusion, which made this game kind of tough and frustrating for me to learn at first. Now that I think I’ve got it figured out, it’s ok, but that first read-through was rough. Now getting down to the actual gameplay. I can appreciate what the game is trying to do – have players create a story and then engage in their narrated battle – but the two phases of the game seem very disjointed to me. It kind of feels like you are playing 2 separate games in one. You get to have some creative fun making up a spooky story, which is then swiftly forgotten as combat ensues. There is little to no connection between the two phases, and that lack of connection makes the storytelling phase seem obsolete.


Another thing to consider when checking this game out is the group of people with whom you will play. To really get a fun, immersive story going, all players need to be willing to embrace the storytelling aspect, and get into the narrative. Requiring that type of creativity on the spot can make some players uncomfortable, and they just might not enjoy that element of the game. Let’s touch on components for a minute. I think that for the most part, the production quality is fine! The Story, Investigator, and Ancient One cards are all oversized, sturdy, and feature some neat spooky art and flavor text. The Combat cards are normal sized, and for the most part clear in their text/actions. The Power tokens are small wooden discs, and are fun to play with. The version I have is in a tin, not a cardboard box, and the tin is nice and sturdy too. Overall, good quality game.
In theory, I think Cthulhu’s Vault is a neat game. The actual execution of the gameplay doesn’t quite hit the mark for me though. The lack of connection between the two phases of the game really detracts from the overall immersion. If there were a stronger connection, perhaps I would like it more, but as it stands, it just feels like 2 separate games in one box. If you’re into storytelling games, I would consider Cthulhu’s Vault because it does provide a neat opportunity for players to craft a unified story. But the shift to the combat phase feels sudden and unrelated. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a fiendish 5 / 12.
  
Delirium
Delirium
Lauren Oliver | 2011 | Children, Dystopia, Romance
4
7.8 (19 Ratings)
Book Rating
Review from my blog <a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.co.uk">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>.

I really, really, really wanted to like this book. In fact, I wanted to love it, but it just didn't happen. I just couldn't get into it at all no matter how hard I tried. It's gotten some rave reviews so maybe there's just something wrong with me.

Lena is a seventeen year old girl who doesn't challenge anything about her government. She's too scared of the consequences. In a few months, on her 18th birthday, she'll be cured of the disease, the disease of love. She's looking forward to the day she can be cured of love. In fact, she's counting down the days. However, everything changes when she meets the gorgeous Alex, an invalid (another name for someone who is uncured after their 18th birthday). Now she doesn't want to be cured as Alex has opened her eyes to this disease called love. Lena is wondering if love was ever really a disease at all. Lena is putting herself at risk to be with Alex. Will she have her happy ever after or will she be cured?

The world building isn't bad. The story takes place in Portland. The author does a great job of trying to make the reader believe in a world where love is banned. It is quite believable.

I don't think the cover suits the book at all. Lauren Oliver has a habit of just putting faces on the covers of her books. However, I think this is the easy way out. Putting a photo of a face on a book doesn't really tell us anything about the book. I wish Ms. Oliver would consider changing her covers to make them relevant to the actual story.

The title, however, definitely suits the book. Love is seen as a type of delirium. It's banned, and the government wants everyone to believe how love will make you delirious. It's a great title for the book.

I found the pacing to be too slow for my liking. Don't get me wrong, it's written quite nicely, but it's just too slow. I had to force myself to read the book most of the time. I just couldn't get into it, and I found myself not really caring about the characters. There is one good bit, and it's only about two or three chapters towards the middle of the book.

The dialogue is easy to understand and is written beautifully. There are a few swear words however. (Lena drops the f-bomb a couple of times and the s word is used a couple of times as well). The good thing is this book isn't littered with swear words which is nice.

I just couldn't relate to any of the characters. Lena drove me crazy!! She was too much of a goody goody and too scared throughout the book. It especially annoyed me when she couldn't tell the difference if she was crying or sweating. I've never had a problem telling the difference!! And Alex, nothing really annoyed me about him, but I just couldn't feel him if you know what I mean. I basically found that I couldn't give a toss about what happened to Lena and Alex. I did like Hana as she was more of a free spirit and willing to take risks. I liked how full of life she was. She was the only character I kind of cared about, but she wasn't a main character, nor was she mentioned as much as I would've liked her to be.

Throughout most of the book I just felt really bored with the book which made me kind of sad because I really wanted to enjoy this book after reading some reviews about how great this book was. It was a challenge for me to get through the book, save for two or three chapters. This book just didn't really do anything for me, and I won't be reading the rest of the series as I don't really care what happens.

I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone. It's just too boring and is lacking something.

Overall, I'd rate Delirium by Lauren Oliver a 2.5 out of a 5.
  
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Widows (2018) in Movies

Nov 14, 2018 (Updated Nov 14, 2018)  
Widows (2018)
Widows (2018)
2018 | Crime, Drama, Thriller
Outstanding performances from the entire cast (3 more)
Phenomenal Direction
Clever Cinematography
A Brilliant Script With Sharp Dialogue
The Best Movie I Have Seen This Year
Widows is an outstanding thriller from Steve McQueen. It stars a brilliant Viola Davis as Veronica Rawlings at the top of her game as a widow of her criminal husband. He and his crew died during the heist and now she and the other widows of the recently deceased crew decide to complete the heist and take the money for themselves. That is the basic plot outline, but it is actually a lot more in depth and layered than that, embroiled in politics and gang rivalries, amongst even more complex elements. However, although there are a lot of moving parts in the film, it never seems confused or messy. It doesn't treat it's audience like idiots either, as long as you are paying attention.

The cast are astonishing in the movie and I truly believe that is the sign of a great director getting the best out of his actors. Viola Davis is an acting powerhouse, making you want to cry one moment and then stand up and jump into battle with her the next. That woman could read the phonebook and make it sound convincingly intense. She is supported by a fantastic turn from Michelle Rodrigez, an actress who I have been a fan of for years, but can sometimes be known to come across fairly wooden. Not here, she is convincing and passionate in every scene she appears in. I also really liked seeing Elizabeth Debecki playing against type here. She is usually cast as a 'perfect,' type of character, such as Tom Hiddleston's love interest in Night Manager or as a member of the perfect alien race in Guardians of The Galaxy. Here she is a much more realistic, down to earth character. Cynthia Erivo, who came out of nowhere and blew me away in Bad Times At The El Royale, also appears here as the crew's driver and gives a genuine, energetic performance who is also the first one to stand up to Veronica's hard-ass attitude. Carrie Coon appears briefly as another widow, but her role is more of a cameo than anything else, it is still important to the story though towards the film's conclusion.

The male actors in the film are equally as brilliant as their female counterparts. I don't want to give too much away about Liam Neeson's Henry Rawlings, but he is convincing and engaging in every part of his performance. Jon Bernthal is slowly becoming the king of appearing in small impactful roles in big ensemble movies. He has already done this in Wolf Of Wall Street, Baby Driver, Sicario and Wind River and he does it here too appearing in a small but memorable role as one of Henry's crew. Colin Farrell and Robert Duvall are great as usual here, as a believable father and son duo. Daniel Kaluuya deserves a special shout out as the movie's main antagonist. This role really gives Kaluuya a chance to flex his more cruel acting skills and show off his versatility as a performer.

The script written by McQueen and Gillian Flynn is full of razor sharp wit and electrifying moments. This is the type of golden material that most actors dream of getting to work with. The movie is shot by Sean Bobbitt who uses an array of clever camera angles and techniques to help convey the mood of each scene. Bobbit also shot Hunger, Shame and 12 Years a Slave and there is a reason that McQueen continues to use him to shoot his films. The score and audio mixing was also effective and helped to amplify the atmosphere throughout the movie.

Overall, Widows is a perfect storm of extremely high quality technical aspects and exquisite performances from an exceptionally talented ensemble of actors. If you didn't get what you wanted out of a female led heist thriller from Ocean's 8, then go out and see this masterpiece asap.
  
Forged Redemption (Tribal Spirits #5)
Forged Redemption (Tribal Spirits #5)
Katherine McIntyre | 2019 | Paranormal, Romance
10
9.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
a stunning conclusion!
I was gifted my copy of this book, direct from the author, that I write a review was not required. But when the previous four books in the series have ALL been 5 stars, it’s only right and proper that you round off the WHOLE series, with a 5th FIVE star review!
I strongly and highly recommend; find it absolutely NECESSARY that you read the other books first, and in order. The ongoing story arc that runs through them all comes to a head here and you NEED to know what has happened before. What this group of people have suffered before at the hands of a madman.
Drew is trying to redeem himself, even though the things he did weren’t under his own steam. Joining forces with the Red River and the Silver Springs packs to rid the world of his nemesis, Drew knows he faces the final battle. But at least he has his Ally-Cat at his side, and if he dies today, she knows he loves her. Ally suffered when Drew left to join the Landsliders, in more ways than one and now, no one will want her, damaged as she is. Drew though? He might, if they survive this last fight.
When Drew turned up with Lucas, right near the beginning, you knew, you just KNEW he had a tale to tell and that it wasn’t going to be pleasant. And it certainly isn’t! Far darker than I was expecting, with so many twists and turns, I had to concentrate to keep up! Trust me when I say, this is a good thing: when a book makes ME slow down my reading, because I must keep up, it’s a very good thing. Ally’s tale is equally hard reading, just in a different way.
We knew Drew turned Landslider, that much is clear from the previous books, but WHY he did, isn’t so clear. When you hear what his father did, and then Hendricks made Drew do, you wonder how the man is still standing, the weight of his guilt is massive. Ally doesn’t sugar coat his feelings, she doesn’t try to make him feel any better. She carries her own (misplaced) guilt and that’s enough for her. What Ally DOES do, though, is make Drew HOPE. She makes him hope there is an end to their nightmare. She makes him hope there will be a happy ending, for the others at least. And deep down, deep within that part of him that never really let Ally go two years ago, she makes him HOPE there will a place for him in her heart, even after all he did.
It’s difficult reading, watching Ally and Drew come together again, especially when Drew comes across a particularly nasty reminder of something he did, and Ally suffered because of it. But it also BEAUTIFUL reading, when they finally, FINALLY give in to the true feelings, and just be together, the way they are supposed to be, as mates.
The end, for Hendricks, when it comes is long and heavy on the fighting, but I really think it is needed here. You need to know how Drew and Ally are feeling as they close in on Hendricks, and I would have loved to have heard from him, as his end draws nigh, I really would. Some clue to his feelings is given, but I’m just greedy!
All the previous pairings show up, Sierra and Dex (Forged Alliances) Finn and Navi (Forged Decisions) Raven and Jer (Forged Contracts) and Lana and Lucas (Forged Futures) and I am so pleased they did!
Just why I didn’t pick up that Dex was Drew’s brother before this book, I have no idea!
It’s always sad when a series comes to an end, but this one goes out with a huge bang!
Thank you, Ms McIntyre, for bringing these people into my world. I shall miss them!
5 stars
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**