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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Cooking Customers in Tabletop Games
Feb 4, 2020
Raise your hand if you have ever worked in the food industry. Okay, I see a few hands. Now raise your hand if you have ever been so torqued by a customer that you wanted to cook them in a pie. Oh, thanks for your hand Mrs. Lovett. Good to know. Well this game is an experience of getting your money and getting out. Fastest one to do so will win, and if you have to stew a few eyeballs in the process, more power to you.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
Cooking Customers is a card and dice game where the first player to amass $20 in “tips” will be crowned the winner. Players earn tips by serving enough meals to customers at each table. Players can receive meals by rolling them on dice, or by card manipulation. Let me explain.
To setup, place the meals (black discs) in the middle of the table for all to reach. Similarly, place all the dice nearby. These dice have three sides: FIRED, MEAL, and a blank side. Shuffle the mighty deck of cards and deal five to each player, placing the rest of the deck in the middle of the table. Finally, shuffle the Table cards and place somewhere near the other components. Players are now ready to begin!
On a player’s turn, they will first draw the topmost Table card to be placed in front of themselves. This card will show how many meals need to be served to it to be satisfied and earn tips. The Table cards will mostly just sit there in front of players collecting meal discs for the game’s duration. Once a Table card is drawn (and only one Table per player, please) the active player may then play cards from hand. A player may play one or two cards, but only one card may be played to the active player’s tableau, and only one card may be played on an opponent. Should a player not wish to play a card to anyone’s tableau, they must discard a card to the middle of the table. Then the active player will draw back to the hand size of five cards.
Cards played to other players are usually bad, Munchkin-esque cards that halt progression or just cause mayhem for their designs. I will not go into detail on these, as half the fun of this game is the Take-That of these cards. Cards played to a player’s own tableau can be a myriad choices: Cooks, Helpers, Kitchen Supplies, etc. The most important are the Cook cards. A player will need to have a Cook “hired” in front of them in order to participate in the next phase of the game: rolling dice. Players can have Helper cards (sous chefs) and Kitchen Supplies active without a Cook, but the player may not roll dice or serve meals without a Cook. Cooks and Helpers will dictate how many dice are rolled in the next phase of a turn, and rolling more dice is always better.
Once all cards have been played on a player’s turn, they may now roll the dice (though for a game with such a dark theme I say we use the “Roll Them Bones” colloquialism). When the dice are rolled, players are hoping for MEAL to show up on all dice. This is how a meal can be collected and served to the Table cards. However, if at any time all dice read FIRED then the player’s Cook is fired and they may not continue rolling dice. The Cook is discarded and play is forfeited to the next player. #cheflife amirite?
Once a Table card has all the meals it needs to be satisfied, the player may score it by flipping it over to reveal the amount in tips they have earned. Play continues in this fashion until one player has earned $20 in tips. They can then taunt the other players with their superiority.
Components. Cooking Customers is a BUNCH of cards, some painted wooden discs, and some embossed dice. The cards are good quality, the discs are good as well, and the dice are great. All the components are pretty darn good. The art, though gross at times, is really well-done (see what I did there) and kept us laughing throughout our plays.
I do have one qualm about this game: the rulebook. Though only six pages long and with lots of illustrations throughout, I found that reading it made me more confused than it should have. I did take the rulebook’s advice to go to the publisher’s website, goodenoughgames.com, and watch the rules explanation and playthrough. That helped immensely to clear up what the rulebook did to my brain.
All in all, we had a great time playing this one. We all like Munchkin, and though it is NOT Munchkin, Cooking Customers delivers a take-that dice and card game that really is worth checking out. If you are looking for something with a new theme that plays quickly and has some meat on its bones (and there), then we certainly recommend Cooking Customers. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a hearty (food puns are too easy) 13 / 18. You can purchase a copy at goodenoughgames.com currently. While you’re there please watch the video.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
Cooking Customers is a card and dice game where the first player to amass $20 in “tips” will be crowned the winner. Players earn tips by serving enough meals to customers at each table. Players can receive meals by rolling them on dice, or by card manipulation. Let me explain.
To setup, place the meals (black discs) in the middle of the table for all to reach. Similarly, place all the dice nearby. These dice have three sides: FIRED, MEAL, and a blank side. Shuffle the mighty deck of cards and deal five to each player, placing the rest of the deck in the middle of the table. Finally, shuffle the Table cards and place somewhere near the other components. Players are now ready to begin!
On a player’s turn, they will first draw the topmost Table card to be placed in front of themselves. This card will show how many meals need to be served to it to be satisfied and earn tips. The Table cards will mostly just sit there in front of players collecting meal discs for the game’s duration. Once a Table card is drawn (and only one Table per player, please) the active player may then play cards from hand. A player may play one or two cards, but only one card may be played to the active player’s tableau, and only one card may be played on an opponent. Should a player not wish to play a card to anyone’s tableau, they must discard a card to the middle of the table. Then the active player will draw back to the hand size of five cards.
Cards played to other players are usually bad, Munchkin-esque cards that halt progression or just cause mayhem for their designs. I will not go into detail on these, as half the fun of this game is the Take-That of these cards. Cards played to a player’s own tableau can be a myriad choices: Cooks, Helpers, Kitchen Supplies, etc. The most important are the Cook cards. A player will need to have a Cook “hired” in front of them in order to participate in the next phase of the game: rolling dice. Players can have Helper cards (sous chefs) and Kitchen Supplies active without a Cook, but the player may not roll dice or serve meals without a Cook. Cooks and Helpers will dictate how many dice are rolled in the next phase of a turn, and rolling more dice is always better.
Once all cards have been played on a player’s turn, they may now roll the dice (though for a game with such a dark theme I say we use the “Roll Them Bones” colloquialism). When the dice are rolled, players are hoping for MEAL to show up on all dice. This is how a meal can be collected and served to the Table cards. However, if at any time all dice read FIRED then the player’s Cook is fired and they may not continue rolling dice. The Cook is discarded and play is forfeited to the next player. #cheflife amirite?
Once a Table card has all the meals it needs to be satisfied, the player may score it by flipping it over to reveal the amount in tips they have earned. Play continues in this fashion until one player has earned $20 in tips. They can then taunt the other players with their superiority.
Components. Cooking Customers is a BUNCH of cards, some painted wooden discs, and some embossed dice. The cards are good quality, the discs are good as well, and the dice are great. All the components are pretty darn good. The art, though gross at times, is really well-done (see what I did there) and kept us laughing throughout our plays.
I do have one qualm about this game: the rulebook. Though only six pages long and with lots of illustrations throughout, I found that reading it made me more confused than it should have. I did take the rulebook’s advice to go to the publisher’s website, goodenoughgames.com, and watch the rules explanation and playthrough. That helped immensely to clear up what the rulebook did to my brain.
All in all, we had a great time playing this one. We all like Munchkin, and though it is NOT Munchkin, Cooking Customers delivers a take-that dice and card game that really is worth checking out. If you are looking for something with a new theme that plays quickly and has some meat on its bones (and there), then we certainly recommend Cooking Customers. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a hearty (food puns are too easy) 13 / 18. You can purchase a copy at goodenoughgames.com currently. While you’re there please watch the video.
Jordan Binkerd (567 KP) rated Gideon's Angel in Books
Aug 15, 2019
Note: this review is transposted from my personal review blog, and so was originally written several years ago. I figured if I reposted it here, someone might actually read it….
I received my copy of Gideon’s Angel through the Goodreads FirstReads program. This in no way influences my review, except to ensure that I was able to get ahold of this book and thus review it. I have to say, I really enjoyed this one. I want to describe it as “steampunk,” but my understanding is that steampunk is usually set in the 1800s (or at least that level of tech and society) whereas this work is firmly set in 1653. If there’s already a term for pseudo-historical fiction with a fantasy touch set in that timeframe, I apologize for not knowing what it is and using it accordingly.
Things are not going well for Richard Treadwell. The English Civil War is over, the King’s Cavaliers lost to the forces of Parliament and Oliver Cromwell, and Charles I has been executed. Treadwell has managed to escape the destruction of his cause, and has spent the past eight years in exile in France, performing a delicate balancing act between loyalty to his exiled king* and his employer, Cardinal Mazarin. When Mazarin informs him that someone is using the forces of Hell to tip the balance in their favor and asks him to spy on the exile court to find out if it is one of the king’s supporters, Treadwell decides that it’s time to get out of Paris. He accepts a mission for one of the king’s more militant supporters that will take him back to his beloved England–to lead a Royalist uprising, one last try to oust Cromwell and his Puritan cronies. Treadwell has other business to tend to as well, including a wife who by now probably considers herself a widow. Unfortunately for Treadwell’s simple worldview, it soon becomes clear that Cromwell’s power is the only thing preventing the more radical Puritan elements from running roughshod over the whole country. Worse still, a demon from the pits of Hell has appeared to a radical Puritan sect masquerading as an angel of light and ordering the death of Cromwell so that the Kingdom of God may be fulfilled. Now instead of assassinating Cromwell Treadwell will be forced to save him–if he can find a way to fight the forces of Hell, gain some allies in his quest, and avoid d’Artagnan, a young Musketeer dispatched by the Cardinal to bear him back to Paris….
I really enjoyed this book. It’s not exactly “high literature,” but I think I’ve very well established that I care far more about a work’s entertainment value than whatever it is critics look for. The world Beal creates here feels very real, slipping in background historical information without making you feel like you’ve been lectured. Some readers will probably wish for more background on the English Civil War, and that’s fine. If they care that much, there are numerous good books on the subject. If they don’t, there’s a Wikipedia article that should give you a good rundown on what happened. Beal manages to evoke seventeenth-century London in all its grimy glory, much as it would have actually been aside from the fact that all the magic we dismiss as superstition is actually going on behind the scenes. Moreover, this magic very much resembles what you would find depicted in the folklore of the era without obvious modern embellishment. I’m not really all that well versed in the history of the Freemasons, so I can’t accurately speak to how they were portrayed here except to say that I very much doubt their claim to date back to the builders of the pyramids. Then again, I doubt they have the tools to summon demons too, so maybe I shouldn’t be too critical. Secondary characters generally proved to be interestingly complex, especially Billy Chard, but I am seeing criticism of how the female characters in the book act. They aren’t weak characters by any means, but they are constrained by their roles in society. Treadwell’s wife has pragmatically joined her fate to that of the officer who took over Treadwell’s land when he was banished and is pregnant with his child. Is she weak for this? Or is she a strong female doing what she has to in order to protect what is left of her family? Treadwell’s Parisian mistress follows him to England rather than stay in Paris and face the scandal of their liasion alone. Weak, for needing Treadwell by her side? Or strong, for following him into whatever dangers he may be facing? Finally, Isabelle decides to follow her father and the rest of Treadwell’s band into battle against the forces of Darkness, deciding that it would be better to fall by his side than live on without him. Possibly a sign of weakness, but look at her situation realistically. She and her father were driven from Spain for their Jewish heritage, her mother dying along the way. Jews do not fare well in the Christian world of the seventeenth century, not even in England. The lot of a young woman alone in the world is already hard enough in this time without adding the burden of religious and ethnic persecution. She would have no respectable means of supporting herself, and could conceivably find herself forced into prostitution–on her own if she was lucky, as no more than a slave if she was not. Is preferring death in battle to such a fate a sign of weakness or of strength? She certainly has no trouble speaking her mind, and in fact berates Treadwell severely for endangering her father when they first meet. I suppose I can understand where some people would find these characters and their portrayal to be weak and sexist, but I respectfully disagree. I submit that instead they are strong characters reacting realistically to a world where women are not treated equally–in fact, I would have more of a problem with them if they demonstrated anachronistic modern sensibilities.** The ending was a little deus ex machina, but on the whole I didn’t mind. I would say that I want to read a sequel, but I don’t think the author could come up with anything to top this in terms of personal impact on the characters–Treadwell’s internal conflict between hating Cromwell and having to save him is very well done, and I fear Beal would prove unable to find something equally interesting as a follow up. We never really got to find out what happened to Treadwell back during the Thirty Years War that introduced him to the world of angels and demons, so I could see maybe writing that up….I’d buy it, anyway.
CONTENT: R-rated language, occasionally harsh but I would argue not gratuitous. Moderately explicit sexual content, as you would expect from a work in this vein.*** A fair amount of violence, from both man and demon. Not usually too gory in its description. There is also a good deal of occult content, as the villains are summoning a demon they believe to be an angel. This demon’s lesser minions dog Treadwell and his friends, and there are multiple encounters with them. One is implied to be a golem, others appear as strange amalgamations of beast(s) and man. For me, this is adequately balanced by the recognition that, as powerful as the forces of Darkness are, God is far more powerful than they. Bottom line: if you’re mature enough to handle the other content, I don’t believe the occult elements should prove to be an issue.
*Charles I was executed, while his son Charles II went into exile. Just in case you were concerned with the historical accuracy of the book. So far as I can tell, this is pretty accurate. You know, aside from the demons and fictional characters roaming London…..
**Please understand, I’m neither defending nor endorsing the inequality of the seventeenth century. Neither is Clifford Beal, for that matter. I’m simply pointing out that it was how it was, and this was the world the characters would have come from. I’m all for equality, but to whitewash history and pretend it was different from it was….that way lies dangerous waters.
***This evokes more than anything a supernatural-tinged Alexandre Dumas novel for me….and you know how bawdry his musketeers could be when they wanted to be.
Original post: https://jordanbinkerd.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/review-gideons-angel-by-clifford-beal/
I received my copy of Gideon’s Angel through the Goodreads FirstReads program. This in no way influences my review, except to ensure that I was able to get ahold of this book and thus review it. I have to say, I really enjoyed this one. I want to describe it as “steampunk,” but my understanding is that steampunk is usually set in the 1800s (or at least that level of tech and society) whereas this work is firmly set in 1653. If there’s already a term for pseudo-historical fiction with a fantasy touch set in that timeframe, I apologize for not knowing what it is and using it accordingly.
Things are not going well for Richard Treadwell. The English Civil War is over, the King’s Cavaliers lost to the forces of Parliament and Oliver Cromwell, and Charles I has been executed. Treadwell has managed to escape the destruction of his cause, and has spent the past eight years in exile in France, performing a delicate balancing act between loyalty to his exiled king* and his employer, Cardinal Mazarin. When Mazarin informs him that someone is using the forces of Hell to tip the balance in their favor and asks him to spy on the exile court to find out if it is one of the king’s supporters, Treadwell decides that it’s time to get out of Paris. He accepts a mission for one of the king’s more militant supporters that will take him back to his beloved England–to lead a Royalist uprising, one last try to oust Cromwell and his Puritan cronies. Treadwell has other business to tend to as well, including a wife who by now probably considers herself a widow. Unfortunately for Treadwell’s simple worldview, it soon becomes clear that Cromwell’s power is the only thing preventing the more radical Puritan elements from running roughshod over the whole country. Worse still, a demon from the pits of Hell has appeared to a radical Puritan sect masquerading as an angel of light and ordering the death of Cromwell so that the Kingdom of God may be fulfilled. Now instead of assassinating Cromwell Treadwell will be forced to save him–if he can find a way to fight the forces of Hell, gain some allies in his quest, and avoid d’Artagnan, a young Musketeer dispatched by the Cardinal to bear him back to Paris….
I really enjoyed this book. It’s not exactly “high literature,” but I think I’ve very well established that I care far more about a work’s entertainment value than whatever it is critics look for. The world Beal creates here feels very real, slipping in background historical information without making you feel like you’ve been lectured. Some readers will probably wish for more background on the English Civil War, and that’s fine. If they care that much, there are numerous good books on the subject. If they don’t, there’s a Wikipedia article that should give you a good rundown on what happened. Beal manages to evoke seventeenth-century London in all its grimy glory, much as it would have actually been aside from the fact that all the magic we dismiss as superstition is actually going on behind the scenes. Moreover, this magic very much resembles what you would find depicted in the folklore of the era without obvious modern embellishment. I’m not really all that well versed in the history of the Freemasons, so I can’t accurately speak to how they were portrayed here except to say that I very much doubt their claim to date back to the builders of the pyramids. Then again, I doubt they have the tools to summon demons too, so maybe I shouldn’t be too critical. Secondary characters generally proved to be interestingly complex, especially Billy Chard, but I am seeing criticism of how the female characters in the book act. They aren’t weak characters by any means, but they are constrained by their roles in society. Treadwell’s wife has pragmatically joined her fate to that of the officer who took over Treadwell’s land when he was banished and is pregnant with his child. Is she weak for this? Or is she a strong female doing what she has to in order to protect what is left of her family? Treadwell’s Parisian mistress follows him to England rather than stay in Paris and face the scandal of their liasion alone. Weak, for needing Treadwell by her side? Or strong, for following him into whatever dangers he may be facing? Finally, Isabelle decides to follow her father and the rest of Treadwell’s band into battle against the forces of Darkness, deciding that it would be better to fall by his side than live on without him. Possibly a sign of weakness, but look at her situation realistically. She and her father were driven from Spain for their Jewish heritage, her mother dying along the way. Jews do not fare well in the Christian world of the seventeenth century, not even in England. The lot of a young woman alone in the world is already hard enough in this time without adding the burden of religious and ethnic persecution. She would have no respectable means of supporting herself, and could conceivably find herself forced into prostitution–on her own if she was lucky, as no more than a slave if she was not. Is preferring death in battle to such a fate a sign of weakness or of strength? She certainly has no trouble speaking her mind, and in fact berates Treadwell severely for endangering her father when they first meet. I suppose I can understand where some people would find these characters and their portrayal to be weak and sexist, but I respectfully disagree. I submit that instead they are strong characters reacting realistically to a world where women are not treated equally–in fact, I would have more of a problem with them if they demonstrated anachronistic modern sensibilities.** The ending was a little deus ex machina, but on the whole I didn’t mind. I would say that I want to read a sequel, but I don’t think the author could come up with anything to top this in terms of personal impact on the characters–Treadwell’s internal conflict between hating Cromwell and having to save him is very well done, and I fear Beal would prove unable to find something equally interesting as a follow up. We never really got to find out what happened to Treadwell back during the Thirty Years War that introduced him to the world of angels and demons, so I could see maybe writing that up….I’d buy it, anyway.
CONTENT: R-rated language, occasionally harsh but I would argue not gratuitous. Moderately explicit sexual content, as you would expect from a work in this vein.*** A fair amount of violence, from both man and demon. Not usually too gory in its description. There is also a good deal of occult content, as the villains are summoning a demon they believe to be an angel. This demon’s lesser minions dog Treadwell and his friends, and there are multiple encounters with them. One is implied to be a golem, others appear as strange amalgamations of beast(s) and man. For me, this is adequately balanced by the recognition that, as powerful as the forces of Darkness are, God is far more powerful than they. Bottom line: if you’re mature enough to handle the other content, I don’t believe the occult elements should prove to be an issue.
*Charles I was executed, while his son Charles II went into exile. Just in case you were concerned with the historical accuracy of the book. So far as I can tell, this is pretty accurate. You know, aside from the demons and fictional characters roaming London…..
**Please understand, I’m neither defending nor endorsing the inequality of the seventeenth century. Neither is Clifford Beal, for that matter. I’m simply pointing out that it was how it was, and this was the world the characters would have come from. I’m all for equality, but to whitewash history and pretend it was different from it was….that way lies dangerous waters.
***This evokes more than anything a supernatural-tinged Alexandre Dumas novel for me….and you know how bawdry his musketeers could be when they wanted to be.
Original post: https://jordanbinkerd.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/review-gideons-angel-by-clifford-beal/
Carma (21 KP) rated Worth the Wait (Guthrie Brothers #2) in Books
Jun 17, 2019
Worth the wait is a follow up book to Don’t Tempt Me, which was first released in July 2016. I happened upon Don’t Tempt Me after completing a book by another author. I loved it and was hungry for a continuation of the Guthrie Brothers story. After waiting for months and months its finally available to read to be transported to Clearbrook once again. Lori Foster, honestly, is one of my favorite authors. She has the ability to put you right in the middle of each and every book she writes. You feel the emotions each character feels, you can hear the sounds, almost smell the smells, and picture each character by her incredible descriptions of people and their surroundings. Worth the Wait is about main characters Hogan Guthrie and Violet Shaw. We met both characters in Don’t Tempt Me and got a muted sense of their attraction to one another. While I loved the characters of Hogan and Colt in Don’t Tempt Me, I don’t know if that transferred over to Worth the Wait where Hogan is concerned. Colt is a dream kid, funny, helpful, loves his family. But I found myself wishing I knew more about Hogan, overall his back-story seemed rushed along.
As with most Lori Foster novels we find ourselves getting involved in secondary characters and stories both separate from or including main characters. Some we hope to see get a book of their own (Barber, Colt) and some well maybe we don’t. Worth the Wait has a possible don’t with a secondary romance between Nathan Hawley and Brooklin Sweet. I enjoyed Nathan’s brief introduction in Don’t Tempt Me but I felt like his story was just randomly inserted in the book as a way to fill the pages. After finishing the book I feel like I know a little more about Nathan but mostly that his story was just a way to fill the pages between Hogan and Violet’s dance around each other. I know Nathan wasn’t a main character for this book and I know he was a friend of Hogan and Jason. I also know his story with Brooklin ties in to the story of Hogan and Violet, I just don’t feel like his time was in this book.
Seemingly I felt like the story between Hogan and Violet dragged on a little long with some interactions taking a long time on mundane things and speeding through things that may have set up a bigger connection between them. I think more time could have been spent on Violet’s family life, her connection with her uncle etc and grow that a little more for her back-story. Both main characters fell a little flat with detail on the who/what/why of their pasts. Don’t get me wrong, they definitely felt right for each other, I just didn’t get swept away by their romance as I normally do with a Lori Foster novel.
Overall I enjoyed Worth the Wait, even the parts that bug me like being able to see someone roll their eyes behind big ridiculous sunglasses, but it probably won’t be one book I go back to read and read over again (i.e. Rowdy, Trace, Zane to name a few). Sadly this book just didn’t grab my uninterrupted full interest, this time. But I know Lori Foster will grab my attention over and over again with each new book she publishes. I received Worth the Wait as an ARC in exchange for an honest review (watch out because blunt is my middle name). Hope this review helps now hurry and buy your own copy of Worth the Wait to prove me wrong, everyone loves to be right!!
As with most Lori Foster novels we find ourselves getting involved in secondary characters and stories both separate from or including main characters. Some we hope to see get a book of their own (Barber, Colt) and some well maybe we don’t. Worth the Wait has a possible don’t with a secondary romance between Nathan Hawley and Brooklin Sweet. I enjoyed Nathan’s brief introduction in Don’t Tempt Me but I felt like his story was just randomly inserted in the book as a way to fill the pages. After finishing the book I feel like I know a little more about Nathan but mostly that his story was just a way to fill the pages between Hogan and Violet’s dance around each other. I know Nathan wasn’t a main character for this book and I know he was a friend of Hogan and Jason. I also know his story with Brooklin ties in to the story of Hogan and Violet, I just don’t feel like his time was in this book.
Seemingly I felt like the story between Hogan and Violet dragged on a little long with some interactions taking a long time on mundane things and speeding through things that may have set up a bigger connection between them. I think more time could have been spent on Violet’s family life, her connection with her uncle etc and grow that a little more for her back-story. Both main characters fell a little flat with detail on the who/what/why of their pasts. Don’t get me wrong, they definitely felt right for each other, I just didn’t get swept away by their romance as I normally do with a Lori Foster novel.
Overall I enjoyed Worth the Wait, even the parts that bug me like being able to see someone roll their eyes behind big ridiculous sunglasses, but it probably won’t be one book I go back to read and read over again (i.e. Rowdy, Trace, Zane to name a few). Sadly this book just didn’t grab my uninterrupted full interest, this time. But I know Lori Foster will grab my attention over and over again with each new book she publishes. I received Worth the Wait as an ARC in exchange for an honest review (watch out because blunt is my middle name). Hope this review helps now hurry and buy your own copy of Worth the Wait to prove me wrong, everyone loves to be right!!
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) in Movies
Jul 19, 2017
Some of the lighting is well implemented (1 more)
Colin Farrell
Bad CGI (2 more)
The movies 3 leads are extremely annoying
Johnny 'oooh' Depp
Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them - Or JK Rowling and the Never Ending Quest for More Money
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off, full disclosure, I have never been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise. I’ve read a few of the books and seen a few of the movies and it just isn’t my thing. Honestly, I’m not even a fan of fantasy in general, I think Lord Of The Rings is nonsense and Game Of Thrones is vastly overrated and the last Harry Potter movie I saw was the fourth one. However, I was willing to go into this movie with a clean slate and hopefully have it win me over and unfortunately it didn’t. Also this review will contain spoilers if you care about that sort of thing.
This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.
So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.
So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.
Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.
Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.
Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.
So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.
So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.
Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.
Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.
Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Dinosaur Island in Tabletop Games
Jun 12, 2019
One of the best parts of the board gaming experience is finding a fun group of people with whom to play! Sometimes, though, coordinating a game night is easier said than done. We all must occasionally forego the group experience and face the world as the Lonely Only. But fear not! The world of solo-play is a vast and exciting realm! What follows is a chronicle of my journey into the solo-playing world – notes on gameplay, mechanics, rules, difficulty, and overall experience with solo variations of commonly multiplayer games! I hope this will provide some insight as you continue to grow your collection, or explore your already owned games!
In Dinosaur Island, you have successfully created a theme park of the Jurassic variety (see what I did there?), and are now tasked with managing and supervising the day-to-day operations. Think “Zoo Tycoon” on steroids. You have to collect new DNA, upgrade your facilities, build new attractions, hire specialists, oversee your workers, and create new dinosaurs to populate your park! Make sure you manage your resources wisely for maximum benefit, and keep a close eye on the security of your park to ensure the safety of your guests! The goal is to create and maintain the most successful dinosaur park!
DISCLAIMER: An expansion exists for Dinosaur Island, and I do own it, but I have yet to incorporate it into my games. Once I get some experience with the expansion, I will either amend this review or address it in a separate post! -L
Let me first begin this review by saying that there is A LOT going on in this game. Seriously, a lot. And it can be pretty overwhelming at first. But one thing I cannot praise enough about Dinosaur Island is its rulebook. It’s kind of hefty, but it is so detailed and clear (with numerous examples) that I understood how to play the game on my first read-through. And sometimes with games that have so many moving elements, total understanding from the get-go can be rare, for me especially. The excellent rulebook makes a seemingly daunting game not so scary. I always keep the rulebook on hand when I play (just to be safe!), but once I got the hang of all of the steps, I don’t really need to refer back to it anymore!
As a solo game, Dinosaur Island plays very similarly as it does in group play with a few minor differences. For one, no regular Objective cards are used – instead you use a set of specified Solo Objective cards. Next, to simulate player interaction during the Research and Market Phases, the solo player draws a card from an AI deck and eliminates the options/discards the resources listed on the card – this mimics group play in the sense that turn order changes every round and you do not always get your first pick during these phases. The remaining 2 Phases (Worker and Park) occur simultaneously and involve no player interaction, so those are played as normal. One final difference between group and solo play is that the solo player can choose to play without Plot Twist cards. A solo game is played over the course of 7 total rounds, and the overall goal of the game remains the same – amass the most Victory Points.
The trickiest part of playing Dinosaur Island solo, for me, has to do with the Solo Objectives. You have 7 Solo Objectives to be completed throughout the game, and they reward Victory Points based on the round in which they were completed – finishing objectives in earlier rounds yields a higher number of points. If you are unable to complete any objective in a given round, you must discard one (of your choice) at the end of that round. The hard thing is that depending on which objectives are currently in play, it can be difficult to complete one each round to earn those points. Some things take time (and a couple of rounds) to be able to complete – like “Reach a threat level of 15.” If you have multiple long-term objectives in play, they can really limit the number of points you can earn from them. A nice mix of objectives (both short-term and long-term) can help balance out the game a little more, but it’s ultimately a luck of the draw.
One positive thing I can say about the objectives, though, is that they really force you to come up with a multi-faceted strategy. Depending on which objectives are in play, you have to decide on a logical strategy and order in which to complete them for maximum points. You can’t just focus on one objective – you also need to be setting yourself up to complete future objectives. I never feel like I’m just going through the motions because I always need to be thinking ahead to my future rounds.
The thing I really like about Dinosaur Island as a solo game is that it is still extremely engaging. I’m not a huge fan of “Beat your own personal best” solo games, but this one keeps me so involved that I don’t mind the fact that there’s no real ‘winner.’ Since a group game doesn’t involve that much player interaction anyway, Dinosaur Island doesn’t really even necessarily feel like a solo game. Every play requires a different strategy, and that makes it feel like a new game every time. If you enjoy Dinosaur Island in a group setting, give it a try as a solo game. There’s really not much of a gameplay difference, and I think you’ll enjoy it just as much!
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/05/21/solo-chronicles-dinosaur-island/
In Dinosaur Island, you have successfully created a theme park of the Jurassic variety (see what I did there?), and are now tasked with managing and supervising the day-to-day operations. Think “Zoo Tycoon” on steroids. You have to collect new DNA, upgrade your facilities, build new attractions, hire specialists, oversee your workers, and create new dinosaurs to populate your park! Make sure you manage your resources wisely for maximum benefit, and keep a close eye on the security of your park to ensure the safety of your guests! The goal is to create and maintain the most successful dinosaur park!
DISCLAIMER: An expansion exists for Dinosaur Island, and I do own it, but I have yet to incorporate it into my games. Once I get some experience with the expansion, I will either amend this review or address it in a separate post! -L
Let me first begin this review by saying that there is A LOT going on in this game. Seriously, a lot. And it can be pretty overwhelming at first. But one thing I cannot praise enough about Dinosaur Island is its rulebook. It’s kind of hefty, but it is so detailed and clear (with numerous examples) that I understood how to play the game on my first read-through. And sometimes with games that have so many moving elements, total understanding from the get-go can be rare, for me especially. The excellent rulebook makes a seemingly daunting game not so scary. I always keep the rulebook on hand when I play (just to be safe!), but once I got the hang of all of the steps, I don’t really need to refer back to it anymore!
As a solo game, Dinosaur Island plays very similarly as it does in group play with a few minor differences. For one, no regular Objective cards are used – instead you use a set of specified Solo Objective cards. Next, to simulate player interaction during the Research and Market Phases, the solo player draws a card from an AI deck and eliminates the options/discards the resources listed on the card – this mimics group play in the sense that turn order changes every round and you do not always get your first pick during these phases. The remaining 2 Phases (Worker and Park) occur simultaneously and involve no player interaction, so those are played as normal. One final difference between group and solo play is that the solo player can choose to play without Plot Twist cards. A solo game is played over the course of 7 total rounds, and the overall goal of the game remains the same – amass the most Victory Points.
The trickiest part of playing Dinosaur Island solo, for me, has to do with the Solo Objectives. You have 7 Solo Objectives to be completed throughout the game, and they reward Victory Points based on the round in which they were completed – finishing objectives in earlier rounds yields a higher number of points. If you are unable to complete any objective in a given round, you must discard one (of your choice) at the end of that round. The hard thing is that depending on which objectives are currently in play, it can be difficult to complete one each round to earn those points. Some things take time (and a couple of rounds) to be able to complete – like “Reach a threat level of 15.” If you have multiple long-term objectives in play, they can really limit the number of points you can earn from them. A nice mix of objectives (both short-term and long-term) can help balance out the game a little more, but it’s ultimately a luck of the draw.
One positive thing I can say about the objectives, though, is that they really force you to come up with a multi-faceted strategy. Depending on which objectives are in play, you have to decide on a logical strategy and order in which to complete them for maximum points. You can’t just focus on one objective – you also need to be setting yourself up to complete future objectives. I never feel like I’m just going through the motions because I always need to be thinking ahead to my future rounds.
The thing I really like about Dinosaur Island as a solo game is that it is still extremely engaging. I’m not a huge fan of “Beat your own personal best” solo games, but this one keeps me so involved that I don’t mind the fact that there’s no real ‘winner.’ Since a group game doesn’t involve that much player interaction anyway, Dinosaur Island doesn’t really even necessarily feel like a solo game. Every play requires a different strategy, and that makes it feel like a new game every time. If you enjoy Dinosaur Island in a group setting, give it a try as a solo game. There’s really not much of a gameplay difference, and I think you’ll enjoy it just as much!
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/05/21/solo-chronicles-dinosaur-island/
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Cthulhu's Vault in Tabletop Games
Nov 9, 2021
As a kid, one thing my siblings and I used to do was play a storytelling game in which we created a (usually) hilarious story, one word at a time. You know the kind. One person starts the sentence with a single word, the next person in line adds a word, and so on, resulting in some ridiculous storyline that ultimately makes little overall sense. So when I heard about Cthulhu’s Vault, a game with a storytelling aspect, I was keen to try it! Even though the subject matter is obviously a little darker, does the overall game live up to my childhood memories of creating stories?
Cthulhu’s Vault is a card game in which players are working together to craft an occult story, which will ultimately lead to a final battle with one of the Ancient Ones. To setup the game, each player receives an Ancient One card (kept face-down), 7 Story cards, and 2 Power tokens (one Investigator and one Cultist). Power tokens are kept face-down and are secret from other players. The remaining Power tokens are placed into two pools – either face-up or face-down as described in the rules – and a starting Story card is drawn and placed in the middle of the play area. The Power Guide card is placed off to the side, visible to players, and shows the amount of Cultist Power necessary to awaken your Ancient One during play. Select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!
The game is broken down into two phases: the Mystery Stage and the Epic Battle Stage. The Mystery Stage begins the game, and consists of the storytelling element. On your turn, you will select a Story card from your hand and play it to the table. Here’s the catch – all players are trying to create a cohesive storyline, so you are encouraged to narrate and chain together a single story with the addition of each new Story card. After you play your Story card and tell your brief addition to the tale, you will collect a number of Power tokens as described on your played Story card, receiving Bonus tokens if applicable. The Mystery Stage continues in this fashion until a player has acquired the requisite number of Cultist Power tokens necessary to awaken their Ancient One. At the start of that turn, the player will reveal their Ancient One, and the Mystery Stage ends immediately.
Moving on to the Epic Battle Stage, there is a small bit of setup. All remaining Story cards are discarded, and Investigator cards are displayed. The player who awoke their Ancient One collects a number of Power tokens equal to the health of their creature, gathers/shuffles the Ancient One Combat Deck, and draws a hand of 3 Combat cards. All remaining players will select an Investigator to play, in order, depending on the total number of Investigator Power tokens gained during the Mystery Stage. Players will discard down to/collect a number of Power tokens to match the health of their Investigator, shuffle the Investigator Combat Deck, and draw a number of cards as dictated by their Investigator card. A Battle Order deck is created and shuffled, and will dictate the order of actions during each Epic Battle turn. The Epic Battle Stage is now ready to begin.
During the Epic Battle, a card from the Battle Order deck is revealed – either an Investigator or the Ancient One. The corresponding player will then act, playing a card from their hand, performing the action (usually Wounding the opponent), and then drawing back up to their hand limit. Play continues in this way until either the Ancient One is defeated (all Health depleted), or all the Investigators are devoured by the Ancient One. If the Ancient One is defeated, the Investigators have won! And if the Ancient One has eliminated all the Investigators, then that player wins. Either way, whomever wins is encouraged to come up with a brief epilogue to bring the overall story to an end.
So all in all, how does Cthulhu’s Vault fare? Honestly, not too great. Let’s start with the rulebook. It has some areas of serious ambiguity and confusion, which made this game kind of tough and frustrating for me to learn at first. Now that I think I’ve got it figured out, it’s ok, but that first read-through was rough. Now getting down to the actual gameplay. I can appreciate what the game is trying to do – have players create a story and then engage in their narrated battle – but the two phases of the game seem very disjointed to me. It kind of feels like you are playing 2 separate games in one. You get to have some creative fun making up a spooky story, which is then swiftly forgotten as combat ensues. There is little to no connection between the two phases, and that lack of connection makes the storytelling phase seem obsolete.
Another thing to consider when checking this game out is the group of people with whom you will play. To really get a fun, immersive story going, all players need to be willing to embrace the storytelling aspect, and get into the narrative. Requiring that type of creativity on the spot can make some players uncomfortable, and they just might not enjoy that element of the game. Let’s touch on components for a minute. I think that for the most part, the production quality is fine! The Story, Investigator, and Ancient One cards are all oversized, sturdy, and feature some neat spooky art and flavor text. The Combat cards are normal sized, and for the most part clear in their text/actions. The Power tokens are small wooden discs, and are fun to play with. The version I have is in a tin, not a cardboard box, and the tin is nice and sturdy too. Overall, good quality game.
In theory, I think Cthulhu’s Vault is a neat game. The actual execution of the gameplay doesn’t quite hit the mark for me though. The lack of connection between the two phases of the game really detracts from the overall immersion. If there were a stronger connection, perhaps I would like it more, but as it stands, it just feels like 2 separate games in one box. If you’re into storytelling games, I would consider Cthulhu’s Vault because it does provide a neat opportunity for players to craft a unified story. But the shift to the combat phase feels sudden and unrelated. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a fiendish 5 / 12.
Cthulhu’s Vault is a card game in which players are working together to craft an occult story, which will ultimately lead to a final battle with one of the Ancient Ones. To setup the game, each player receives an Ancient One card (kept face-down), 7 Story cards, and 2 Power tokens (one Investigator and one Cultist). Power tokens are kept face-down and are secret from other players. The remaining Power tokens are placed into two pools – either face-up or face-down as described in the rules – and a starting Story card is drawn and placed in the middle of the play area. The Power Guide card is placed off to the side, visible to players, and shows the amount of Cultist Power necessary to awaken your Ancient One during play. Select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!
The game is broken down into two phases: the Mystery Stage and the Epic Battle Stage. The Mystery Stage begins the game, and consists of the storytelling element. On your turn, you will select a Story card from your hand and play it to the table. Here’s the catch – all players are trying to create a cohesive storyline, so you are encouraged to narrate and chain together a single story with the addition of each new Story card. After you play your Story card and tell your brief addition to the tale, you will collect a number of Power tokens as described on your played Story card, receiving Bonus tokens if applicable. The Mystery Stage continues in this fashion until a player has acquired the requisite number of Cultist Power tokens necessary to awaken their Ancient One. At the start of that turn, the player will reveal their Ancient One, and the Mystery Stage ends immediately.
Moving on to the Epic Battle Stage, there is a small bit of setup. All remaining Story cards are discarded, and Investigator cards are displayed. The player who awoke their Ancient One collects a number of Power tokens equal to the health of their creature, gathers/shuffles the Ancient One Combat Deck, and draws a hand of 3 Combat cards. All remaining players will select an Investigator to play, in order, depending on the total number of Investigator Power tokens gained during the Mystery Stage. Players will discard down to/collect a number of Power tokens to match the health of their Investigator, shuffle the Investigator Combat Deck, and draw a number of cards as dictated by their Investigator card. A Battle Order deck is created and shuffled, and will dictate the order of actions during each Epic Battle turn. The Epic Battle Stage is now ready to begin.
During the Epic Battle, a card from the Battle Order deck is revealed – either an Investigator or the Ancient One. The corresponding player will then act, playing a card from their hand, performing the action (usually Wounding the opponent), and then drawing back up to their hand limit. Play continues in this way until either the Ancient One is defeated (all Health depleted), or all the Investigators are devoured by the Ancient One. If the Ancient One is defeated, the Investigators have won! And if the Ancient One has eliminated all the Investigators, then that player wins. Either way, whomever wins is encouraged to come up with a brief epilogue to bring the overall story to an end.
So all in all, how does Cthulhu’s Vault fare? Honestly, not too great. Let’s start with the rulebook. It has some areas of serious ambiguity and confusion, which made this game kind of tough and frustrating for me to learn at first. Now that I think I’ve got it figured out, it’s ok, but that first read-through was rough. Now getting down to the actual gameplay. I can appreciate what the game is trying to do – have players create a story and then engage in their narrated battle – but the two phases of the game seem very disjointed to me. It kind of feels like you are playing 2 separate games in one. You get to have some creative fun making up a spooky story, which is then swiftly forgotten as combat ensues. There is little to no connection between the two phases, and that lack of connection makes the storytelling phase seem obsolete.
Another thing to consider when checking this game out is the group of people with whom you will play. To really get a fun, immersive story going, all players need to be willing to embrace the storytelling aspect, and get into the narrative. Requiring that type of creativity on the spot can make some players uncomfortable, and they just might not enjoy that element of the game. Let’s touch on components for a minute. I think that for the most part, the production quality is fine! The Story, Investigator, and Ancient One cards are all oversized, sturdy, and feature some neat spooky art and flavor text. The Combat cards are normal sized, and for the most part clear in their text/actions. The Power tokens are small wooden discs, and are fun to play with. The version I have is in a tin, not a cardboard box, and the tin is nice and sturdy too. Overall, good quality game.
In theory, I think Cthulhu’s Vault is a neat game. The actual execution of the gameplay doesn’t quite hit the mark for me though. The lack of connection between the two phases of the game really detracts from the overall immersion. If there were a stronger connection, perhaps I would like it more, but as it stands, it just feels like 2 separate games in one box. If you’re into storytelling games, I would consider Cthulhu’s Vault because it does provide a neat opportunity for players to craft a unified story. But the shift to the combat phase feels sudden and unrelated. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a fiendish 5 / 12.
