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Leprechaun Returns (2019)
Leprechaun Returns (2019)
2019 | Comedy, Fantasy, Horror
Characters – Lila is the daughter or Tory (from the original) she is moving back to the same house in the vents of the original to be part of a college sorority, she is clearly the outsider of the group desperate to make new friends after a lifetime of looking after her mother. She learns to start believing what her mother did and proves to be resourceful throughout the film. Katie is the slutty of the friends, Rose is the one trying to make a change and Meredith is the drunk one, while they are meant to be portrayed as smart, they are painfully generic and dumb throughout. The Leprechaun has returned looking for his gold and this time he isn’t going to be a friendly, trying to get his power back. He uses rhymes to try and scare the characters and new powers to make object move to kill.

Performances – Taylor Spreitler does every she can in the leading role, trying to step into the shoes of Jennifer Aniston isn’t going to be easy for anyone, Pepi Sonuga, Sai Bennett and Emily Reid are the basic supporting performances, playing confusing characters. Linden Porco does well as the leprechaun being evil enough.

Story – The story picks up 25 years after the original film where we follow a new group of students that head to the house from the original only to find themselves being haunted by the leprechaun who just wants his gold back. The idea that we are taught to forget any of the sequels is a good thing and arguable the only good thing about the story, the rest just makes the characters seem confusing, with the story wanting to say these girls are smart with what they are doing, but as soon as the horror starts they just become screaming messes. It does keep the tone of a slasher story though it just never captures the tone of the first film enough.

Comedy/Horror – The comedy comes from the painfully rhymes that the leprechaun gives, they are very pun heavy which will often make your eyes roll. The horror does come from the kills which are bloody and one is in fact an original one too.

Settings – The film is set in the same house as the original film, it needs to be rebuilt so people could live there, it shows the evil hasn’t left this place after 25-years.

Special Effects – The effects in the film are easily one of the better parts because we get the unique looking kills that don’t shy away from the camera.


Scene of the Movie – Solar panel

That Moment That Annoyed Me – The characters being confusing.

Final Thoughts – This is a disappoint horror sequel reboot, it is filled with too many puns and tries to be self-aware of everything going on.

Overall: Leprechaun is better off dead.
  
The Covenant (2006)
The Covenant (2006)
2006 | Horror, Mystery
I could watch this on infinite loop until I'm dead
I've watched this movie twice in as many days because it is the kind of bad that is wonderful. I don't know how I missed this one as a teenager, as everything involving witchcraft was interesting to me then. Think of The Covenant as a spiritual successor to The Craft, but with boys. And there are boys. This movie is one fuzzy sex scene away from being a David DeCoteau film. Notable features are an all male shower scene filled with foggy butts, Sebastian Stan (who's nineteen or twenty years old here) stumbling over a line regarding another kid's penis (after being called a homosexual slur) and, last but not least, the line, "I'm going to make you my weyotch." It's a gem.

The plot is blah, the music is alright, and it has the mid-noughts "blue and orange" filter--but that's not why you're watching this movie. You're watching it because the actors are hot, there's not-so subtle gay subtext (though if Sebastian Stan's character kisses another guy, is it really subtext?), and latent homoeroticism. The whole stinkin' thing could be an allegory for homosexuality, but really, I don't think anyone was thinking that far ahead.

Also, there's a character named Pogue Perry. Pogue. As in, rhymes with "vogue." My boyfriend couldn't stop laughing, and he was only half watching it to humor me.
  
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