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Beauty and the Greek Billionaire
Beauty and the Greek Billionaire
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Marianna is crossing things off her bucket list and one of those things is to lose her virginity finally. While in Greece with her brother she thinks now is the perfect time to explore the possibility. She makes up a fake name and goes in search of a one night stand. Never would she imagine her ideal man would be a purse snatcher (of sorts).

Nico has his eye on the beautiful sister of the man trying to lure him into investing in his company. She was leaving the café with her brother when a purse thief grabbed at her bag. Nico leaned in to help and got a nose full of her fist, in the scuffle she realized she had struck the wrong man and invited him for drinks. Introducing herself in a different name than he’d known her by he wondered what her game was. Did her brother send her in to spy on him?

Marianna has no idea Nico knows exactly who she is but she sleeps with him all the same. When he kicks her out of his house at the end of a beautiful day she is more confused than ever. She goes back to Australia broken but not beaten until about 2 months later when she fails a test.

Nico doesn’t let anyone in, not into his life, heart or house and yet somehow Marianna got into all 3 quickly. He feels bad for sending her away and when she returns he thinks it is a sign to try and make it work for the sake of parenting anyway. He is a jerk, cold, stubborn and rude but he takes care of what he feels he should without question.

Marianna and Nico struggle through getting to know one another while trying to make their brief relationship look lengthy. Nico does not bend to the give and take relationships take however and fights every step forward Marianna tries to take. In the end she leaves him because he doesn’t trust her. Nico has to make the ultimate choice of what means more to him, Marianna and his future or the past and their mistakes.

I enjoyed the traveling porcelain cat and what it symbolized. I received a copy without expectation for review, any and all opinions expressed are my own. While this didn't grab me fully, I still enjoyed the bones of the story. 3 3/4 stars for this read.
  
The Happytime Murders (2017)
The Happytime Murders (2017)
2017 | Comedy
Why did some muppet green light this?
Man, this is grim.

The Happytime Murders is set in LA where puppets and humans live together but without much harmony, in a somewhat clumsy parody of racism. In this setting Phil Philips (voiced by Muppets regular Bill Barretta) is a disgraced ex-cop puppet – the first of his kind -drummed out of the force for an indiscretion and now making ends meet as a PI.

But someone is progressively bumping off members of “Happy Time” – an old muppet-style show on the Puppet Television Network featuring Phil’s old flame Jenny (Elizabeth Banks). When a murder hits home close to Pete, he teams with his old police partner Connie (Melissa McCartney) to catch the murderer.

One problem with this film is that the concept – rude puppets – is not new: “Avenue Q” have done this way better on stage and “Team America: World Police” on film. So from the outset the content doesn’t really shock. But the worst problem is that for adults, the screenplay by Todd Berger is just NOT FUNNY ENOUGH. It’s a bad sign when you can count the moments you moved from a smile to a light chuckle on one hand: just three times in fact (with the silly string scene, with the wringing-out scene (“look away”) and with a parody of a famous interrogation scene).

So, based on the ‘laffs-per-minute’ count, this is 90 minutes of my life I’d like back please. Actually, if you cut out the regular swearing and came up with a suitable story about silly string, then – cartoon puppet violence and all – the kids might enjoy it much more!

The only other mildly entertaining aspect for me – which grudgingly earns it an extra half Fad – were the closing titles that showed how some of it was filmed.

McCarthy delivers much of the same shtick we’ve seen from her in all of her recent movie outings, which doesn’t really wash well with me anymore. Banks is good as the love interest Jenny, but has little to do.

It’s directed by Brian Henson, son of the late and great Jim Henson. I’m all for “experiments”, and I notice that this was released under the “Henson Alternative” brand, which is perhaps appropriate, but some experiments work and some just don’t. I personally think this is one that doesn’t extend the Henson brand and needs to be quietly forgotten with a line drawn under it.

Definitely NOT recommended. If someone asks you to go to the cinema with them to see this, tell them to get stuffed!
  
Gun, With Occasional Music
Gun, With Occasional Music
Jonathan Lethem | 2004 | Mystery, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Thriller
4
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Banter (1 more)
Good premise
Easily distracted while reading (2 more)
Poor execution of idea
Not good with explanations
I went into this book with low expectations. I mean there's a kangaroo with a gun. How serious can you take it? But suprisingly, I wouldn't say it qualified as absurdist noir/sci-fi.
The noir part is ok, pretty straightforward; however the point is to try and solve it along with the detective, or in this case private inquisitor, but the character made leaps and bounds with his puzzling and I was ".... how did you figure that?" Or I was more intrigued by the babyheads (which got a passing explanation that was blah and not enough) or the fact that the government encouraged the use of addictive drugs like forgetol or avoidtol (yeah super creative names but it got the point across) or why it was considered rude to ask questions or what is up with the Karma card? Most of which you get 0 answers.
The sci-fi aspect is surface level with the evolution of animals and the accelerated intelligence of babies/child. Freezing prisoners instead if regular jail. It was meh with sparatic points of interesting.
The dystopian world was well thought out but he did spend way too much waxing poetic on sunsets and sunrises. Don't get me wrong I love sunsets and sunrises but when I tried to see if there would be important information dropped at these points I got nothing.
The banter between characters was pretty good. Not the best bit it was good fir a small chuckle or appreciation.
The main character is not an likeable one however I found myself rooting for him. And I was repulsed by him and not just because of how he treats women. He even admits it is wrong. He's a very angry main character.
There is a take on body dysphoria, although as this book came out in the 90s I don't know if that was intentional or not.
Not having body dysphoria, but understanding how you can be uncomfortable in your own skin. I wonder if it's a semi accurate description?????
I almost rated it a five but I am still confused and am going "WTF did I just read?" So I thought a lot and was also way too easily distracted by other things (like tiktok or tv or my own thoughts). I should have been able to read this book in a day slow pacing or not and kept getting bored with it. I'll probably unhaul it at a used bookstore where someone can appreciate it more than I.
  
The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 Years Old
The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 Years Old
Hendrik Groen, Hester Velmans | 2016 | Fiction & Poetry
10
8.7 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
Hilariously Honest
This ARC was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

Think Adrian Plass but with octogenarians and this is the result. The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 ¼ Years Old is a years long journal beginning on 1st January 2013. Hendrik hates old people, an unfortunate predicament as he live in a home for the elderly. He set himself the task of writing a daily account about the “life of the inmates of a care home in North Amsterdam,” with the purpose of it being read after his death by readers, or “inmates” who wish to know what to expect in their old age.

Whether the contents of this diary are true or exaggerated does not matter, as what it produces is a laugh-out-loud story, a pleasure to read. From cake in the fish tank, to complaints about leaky nether regions, Hendrik provides a brutally honest account of the highs and lows of being an OAP.

The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 ¼ Years Old encompasses a selection of unique and presumably real characters. Readers are bound to discover someone who reminds them of an elderly relative, or even themselves! There is the diabetic, rude, gin loving Evert – Henrdik’s best friend of many years – who is never without a witty comeback for the bossy, self-important director of the home. On the other hand, levelheaded Eefje, who Hendrik is rather fond of, shows a completely different view of elderly mentality. Despite the stereotypes associated with care home patients, Hendrik and friends still have as much fun as possible; after all, they may be Old but not Dead.

Speaking of dead, Hendrik makes a number of jokes and references to euthanasia, which may seem like poor taste to some readers. However, when all the friends around you are literally living the final years of their lives, why not joke about it instead of worry? Naturally there are sad diary entries about the inevitable deaths of his contemporaries throughout the year, but Hendrik does not let it get him down for long. Hendrik and his close friends make the most of the time they have left, and if that involves speeding along the roads of Amsterdam on their souped-up mobility scooters, then that is exactly what they will do.

The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 ¼ Years Old is a gem of a book and comes highly recommended to readers of all ages. Hendrik ‘s effortlessly funny, sarcastic remarks stress what the average citizen is too polite to voice. Once you begin it is hard to put down. Unfortunately a year is not long enough and you will end up wanting more. Whatever the future holds for us, let’s hope we become someone like Hendrik Groen.
  
40x40

Hazel (1853 KP) rated You Were Here in Books

Dec 7, 2018  
YW
You Were Here
6
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
<i>This ARC was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review </i>

On the five-year anniversary of Jaycee Strangelove’s brother’s death, she goes to visit one of his favourite haunts – an abandoned Victorian mansion that used to be an insane asylum. However, this year she is joined by four other people who, although they do not show it, feel as broken as Jaycee does.

<i>You Were Here</i> by Cori McCarthy is primarily about Jaycee’s dangerous attempts to feel closer to her daredevil brother. Using his old diary as a guide, she is determined to find evidence that her brother had been at the various decrepit places that he wrote about breaking in to. Her behaviour seriously worries others, which is why Jaycee ends up with four unlikely characters tagging along: Natalie, her ex-best friend; Zach, Natalie’s immature boyfriend; Bishop, a guy suffering after a break up; and the selectively mute Mikivikious, her brother’s childhood friend.
Each character is struggling with their own problems, yet they take the time to make Jaycee realize that her brother is gone and she needs to move on. However there is a lot of fighting and sabotage of relationships along the way.

Each character progressively tells the story by alternating chapters. Whilst this is fairly common in fiction – both young adult and adult – McCarthy’s method stands out amongst the others. Bishop likes to express his feelings through art and therefore does not have any written chapters to his name. Instead a few photographs of his artwork are included. Similarly, Mikivikious, a character who barely talks, shows his point of view through a short graphic novel sequence (drawn by the illustrator Sonia Liao). It is really interesting to read(?) parts of the story this way, and it also makes the reader connect to Mik’s struggle to express himself verbally.

It is difficult to like any of the characters to begin with – mostly because their flaws are revealed but their history is yet to be disclosed. Jaycee, the main character, is particularly hard to like. She is depressed and lonely with a serious self-destructive streak. This causes her to be rude, hurtful and sarcastic to everyone around her. It is actually surprising that anyone cares about her at all.

Due to not connecting with any of the characters, I was not all that impressed with this book. I understand the point of portraying certain people, especially Jaycee, in such a negative way, however it made me not really care about the outcome. Future readers need to be aware that the storyline can be very dark and morbid at times. There are also sexual references and foul language.
  
The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #1)
The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #1)
Carrie Ryan | 2009 | Fiction & Poetry
6
7.8 (8 Ratings)
Book Rating
___ <b>3 Star Rating</b> ___

I just had to read this one as I fell in love with the front cover, it looked great so I expected a great story.

I had a love/hate relationship with this book, there were bits that were so good I wanted to shout from the rooftops but there were also parts that were so bad I wanted to run to a dark corner and cry.

<u>The bits I loved</u>

1. The suspense - Oh my life and soul I thought my heart was going to give out! That tension was fantastic! The way the author wrote the action scenes were great, the extra long description filled build ups which make you sweat and then straight into the action. The action was always really good with a nice bit of gore and clever tactics...very well done!

2. The dog - You have to have a dog in there somewhere, I love dogs! If the dog survives then that's extra points from me, I just want the animals to be ok...f*ck anyone else!

3. The Unconsecrated - Very well described, I liked the idea of 'The Fast One' and yeah I know they're Zombies...but I like Zombies.

<u>The bits I hated</u>

1. Mary! Mary! Aaaaand...Mary! - Oh what a pain in the ass! I did not like the MC one little bit. She was incredibly selfish, self centred and just plain rude. She was willing to step on anybody to get her own way. Everything was...love, love, love, OMG Mary I love you!
Mary: *Like I give a shit! I just wanna go to the Beach!*
People whom she supposedly loved were dropping like flies around her but oh well that's one less person in the way of her ocean filled dreams.
I'm sorry but I just hoped for this...

<img src="http://i.imgur.com/TJ9LVsr.jpg"; width="300" height="210"/>

2. Lack of character development - Actually, there was none. I still know nothing about the other characters, it's like they were just there to show how 'amazing' Mary really was. I so wanted at least one of the other characters to take centre stage for a while, just so I could see things from a different perspective...but no.

3. Lack of story building - So...why? When? Who? What? Did they live? Die? How did the dog get across the rope the second time?
Why the gates? The fences? Why are there Unconsecrated? What is the Sisterhood all about? What are they hiding? How did this all happen? WTF is Mary's problem?
Ok...so I know there's a second book and I've heard that it doesn't even carry the story on, if that is true I think I'm gonna scream. So many questions!
  
The Dark Net
The Dark Net
Jamie Bartlett | 2016 | Biography
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Eye-opening!
For those who don’t know, the dark net is hidden seedier internet just below the regular surface internet. In this work of non-fiction, Bartlett explores the dark net’s various elusive and somewhat criminal goings-on; often going out of his way in the name of research.


The book kicks off with a dramatic introduction, talking about the Assassination Market. The assassination market is basically an online list of names and dates. Participants bet on what date an individual on the list will die. If a bet is correctly “guessed”, the winner walks away with all the winnings. Unfortunately, this was the shortest chapter and had the least amount of research made evident.


The drama continues in the following chapter which is about trolling, however this chapter read like a history book, and didn’t live up to the precedent set in the introduction. Shortly afterward though, Bartlett goes on to talk about one-man political parties, who set up several accounts on several sites to get their propaganda trending.


Later on Bartlett journeys into the strange real world community of Calafou. Here he meets cypherpunks and explains the crypto-currency Bitcoin to the reader. This unfortunately was another rather drab chapter.


The shortest chapter following the introduction was entitled “Three clicks”, which was named so when the author tried to find out how long it would take him to find child porn using free software known as “The Onion Router” and the “Hidden Wiki”. (Of course the author reported it to the police.)

There’s also a chapter on pro-anorexia and pro-self-harm sites.


And when I said the author often went out of his way in the name of research, I wasn’t kidding! The author went on the online “Silk Road” to purchase a very small amount of marijuana! And later still Bartlett is in the actual bedroom of a webcam star as she performs a rude show with 3 other women!

 
Reading a book on the dark net is the closest I’m ever going to get to actually using the dark net, so I wanted a lot from this book. I learned that the dark net would be pretty easy to navigate if I really wanted to use it. That said there was nothing in the book that would entice me to do anything that might involve covering my tracks.


So although there were a couple of chapters that were unnecessarily long, the other chapters definitely made up for it! Aside from the lack of detail on the Assassination Market, the remainder of the book appears well researched, with a lot of face to face and online meetings between the author and the people in the know.