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Christina Haynes (148 KP) rated Bruja in Books
Jun 29, 2018
Bruja
This book is about Tessa's cousin Claudia. We travel with her to Peru to find a cure for her twin brother, Raphael.
After Lucinda's son, Daniel is killed in the last book, she some how manages to bring him back to life. But as some sort of zombie, demon creature. He then infects Raphael. Making him become the same kind of creature as Daniel. In order to cure him, we need to find ancient white magic. And that leads us to Peru.
The only person who can go is Claudia, even Tessa agrees after she has a vision, showing that if she goes they will all die. Why we don't know. But Claudia going to me was perfect.
Before I talk to you about Peru. Let me tell you a little about Claudia and why I liked her, because by the end of this book you will too. I really find her great character, and to be honest. I kind of like her more than Tessa.
Claudia is Tessa's cousin via her mother's sister. She's lived in the witches compound all her life. She was there when her grandmother ruled the cover and she was there when Lucinda took over and make it what it is today. A scary, terrible place to be.
She gave her life by agreeing to an oath with Lucinda, to keep her parents safe so they could leave the coven and compound. Her brother stayed with her, because he didn't want her to be alone, in that horrible place. But her parents are no where to been seen.
She found away to get Tessa to the compound so she could help to either be their leader or find the next one. Tessa wasn't happy with her but she did what she needed to do. She helped the Werewolf pack and Tessa fight the vampires, without been asked. She's helped Tessa a lot, along with other people, and for what? To be left by her parents. To be tied to Lucinda via a oath that keeps her apart of her coven, which allows Lucinda to drain her power.
She's the fiance of a terrible ass, because Lucinda made it happen, and now her brother is in danger of dying and she has to go to Peru with an ancient werewolf, she hardly knows.
Already to me Claudia is a great character.
Now back to Peru and the actual story. Claudia sets off to Peru to find ancient white magic. But finding it is the hard part, let alone actually getting it and bringing it back. She has very little time to find and bring it back as her brother is quickly getting worst! - She also wants to break this oath with her a Lucinda, so the rest of the witches who left with her can break theirs too.
When she gets to Peru we are introduced to another werewolf called 'Mr July' only kidding that's a nickname she makes up for him whilst she is drooling like a wolf... His name is Lucas. Together they go on search of this white magic. But when she arrives at the hotel, who is there, none other than... HER FIANCE the rude, snobby, old fashioned ass called Matt. But why is he there? She never told him, Tessa wouldn't. No one would... Only someone did. - Why is he there, and what the hell is he up too!?
Claudia starts to fall for Lucas, she tries not too. But it's very hard. She know nothing can happen, he's a Werewolf and she's well a witch. But if she wants to break the bond/oath with Lucinda she could mate with a werewolf... But she can't just find anyone, she wants to find the one. But even then to her that's not really an option... Yet.
She gets into a lot of trouble with a local coven and again Matt is involved. Lucas saves her life a few time and she saves his. This love story between them both, for me was a better story than Tessa and Dastien's.
This story I really liked, not only did I love the idea, but I loved the characters. I loved how it was just about Claudia and Lucas. I loved how we didn't have other people around, we had some of course. But not other people who were apart of the main goal. We had two people working together, whether they liked eachother or not. Just working together to save her brother. Lucas had nothing to do with Raphael. He doesn't even know him, but he helps Claudia anyway.
The ending was lovely and it made way for the next book. Which is back to being about Tessa. I hope we have more of Claudia. She's definitely my favourite character!
3☕ – NOT A BAD BOOK
Love, Christina ?
After Lucinda's son, Daniel is killed in the last book, she some how manages to bring him back to life. But as some sort of zombie, demon creature. He then infects Raphael. Making him become the same kind of creature as Daniel. In order to cure him, we need to find ancient white magic. And that leads us to Peru.
The only person who can go is Claudia, even Tessa agrees after she has a vision, showing that if she goes they will all die. Why we don't know. But Claudia going to me was perfect.
Before I talk to you about Peru. Let me tell you a little about Claudia and why I liked her, because by the end of this book you will too. I really find her great character, and to be honest. I kind of like her more than Tessa.
Claudia is Tessa's cousin via her mother's sister. She's lived in the witches compound all her life. She was there when her grandmother ruled the cover and she was there when Lucinda took over and make it what it is today. A scary, terrible place to be.
She gave her life by agreeing to an oath with Lucinda, to keep her parents safe so they could leave the coven and compound. Her brother stayed with her, because he didn't want her to be alone, in that horrible place. But her parents are no where to been seen.
She found away to get Tessa to the compound so she could help to either be their leader or find the next one. Tessa wasn't happy with her but she did what she needed to do. She helped the Werewolf pack and Tessa fight the vampires, without been asked. She's helped Tessa a lot, along with other people, and for what? To be left by her parents. To be tied to Lucinda via a oath that keeps her apart of her coven, which allows Lucinda to drain her power.
She's the fiance of a terrible ass, because Lucinda made it happen, and now her brother is in danger of dying and she has to go to Peru with an ancient werewolf, she hardly knows.
Already to me Claudia is a great character.
Now back to Peru and the actual story. Claudia sets off to Peru to find ancient white magic. But finding it is the hard part, let alone actually getting it and bringing it back. She has very little time to find and bring it back as her brother is quickly getting worst! - She also wants to break this oath with her a Lucinda, so the rest of the witches who left with her can break theirs too.
When she gets to Peru we are introduced to another werewolf called 'Mr July' only kidding that's a nickname she makes up for him whilst she is drooling like a wolf... His name is Lucas. Together they go on search of this white magic. But when she arrives at the hotel, who is there, none other than... HER FIANCE the rude, snobby, old fashioned ass called Matt. But why is he there? She never told him, Tessa wouldn't. No one would... Only someone did. - Why is he there, and what the hell is he up too!?
Claudia starts to fall for Lucas, she tries not too. But it's very hard. She know nothing can happen, he's a Werewolf and she's well a witch. But if she wants to break the bond/oath with Lucinda she could mate with a werewolf... But she can't just find anyone, she wants to find the one. But even then to her that's not really an option... Yet.
She gets into a lot of trouble with a local coven and again Matt is involved. Lucas saves her life a few time and she saves his. This love story between them both, for me was a better story than Tessa and Dastien's.
This story I really liked, not only did I love the idea, but I loved the characters. I loved how it was just about Claudia and Lucas. I loved how we didn't have other people around, we had some of course. But not other people who were apart of the main goal. We had two people working together, whether they liked eachother or not. Just working together to save her brother. Lucas had nothing to do with Raphael. He doesn't even know him, but he helps Claudia anyway.
The ending was lovely and it made way for the next book. Which is back to being about Tessa. I hope we have more of Claudia. She's definitely my favourite character!
3☕ – NOT A BAD BOOK
Love, Christina ?
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated The Nun (2018) in Movies
Jul 2, 2019
I’ve always been a sucker for supernatural thrillers that are based on “actual events”, even if the way it’s portrayed in the movies nowhere resembles the truth. For some reason, it’s always intriguing to watch a film and imagine that these things could potentially happen. This has always been the draw of The Conjuring films, which are loosely based on the lives of Ed and Lorraine Warren, whose paranormal investigations were the inspiration behind not only this series but the Amityville Horror. So, when I heard that The Nun was another movie set in the same cinematic universe as The Conjuring franchise I anxiously awaited the opportunity to review it.
The Nun begins with two nuns who are attempting to destroy an evil being that has cursed an abbey in a small Romanian village for hundreds of years. After a young man who goes by the name Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet) discovers one of the nuns has hung herself, the Vatican summons Father Burke (Demián Bichir), who is known for his special skills in exorcisms and Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), a young nun-in-training to investigate the matter. With Frenchie as their guide, they travel to the abbey to uncover the mysteries of the nun’s suicide.
The Nun reintroduces us to a familiar demonic figure that was originally introduced in The Conjuring 2. Sadly, this is where the similarities to the other Conjuring films end. The Nun has its share of jump scares, but the entire film seems to be a compilation of various horror tropes including everything from crosses turning upside down to using holy water to get rid of demons. All the typical exorcism movie elements are there, but none of them really add any context to the story or answer any questions as to why the priest and nun were sent to investigate the suicide. There is no discernable path that the characters take to unravel the mystery, and it attempts to build suspense only to “Hollywood-up” the ending. They sacrificed suspense and mystery and replaced it with monster filled battles and cheesy one-liners. Instead of beautifully haunting ghosts and demons we got what I could only describe as nun-mummies which can now be taken down with shovels and shotguns. A shotgun was not part of Father Burke’s exorcism arsenal but towards the end of the movie you start to think maybe that should have been his weapon of choice all along (who needs a cross and holy water, when you have your trusty 12-gauge).
The setting is as beautiful as it is creepy, and it’s hard not to wonder how they could take such an amazing setting and dumb it down. The Nun herself is particularly creepy and the characters at first glance appear to be interesting which is why it’s so disappointing that the movie feels so much like a missed opportunity. The pacing of the movie is incredibly slow as well, with all the buildup of the investigation most of the time you are just waiting for something to happen. To make it even worse, most of the buildups lead the audience down a path of confusion and not only raise more questions that will never be answered, but also destroy any believability of the story.
Ultimately, fans of The Conjuring franchise will likely leave disappointed and with even more longing for The Conjuring 3 to be released. The movie lacks much of the suspense and outright terror that the previous movies in the series were well known for and ultimately feels like a spinoff movie that lacks any real connection to the movies preceding it. The Nun isn’t a terrible movie, and I didn’t leave feeling as though I had completely wasted an hour and a half of my time, it just really doesn’t do anything to break new ground or move the franchise along in any meaningful way. While there are parts of the movie that will have you jump, the reality is, that the scenes following these moments will keep you bewildered and likely cause you to forget what made you jump in the first place. It has some interesting concepts, but nothing that hasn’t been done better in similar movies before it. In the end it’s a movie that people will not likely hate but will not feel satisfied with either. I certainly wouldn’t recommend paying full price to see it, but it may be worth the Saturday matinee price or watching it when it comes to Blu-ray. If you want a good ghost or demon movie to get you in the Halloween spirit, this isn’t it. You’d be much better off watching the spectacularly classic Poltergeist or The Exorcist if you really want to be scared out of your wits.
What I liked: The setting and atmosphere, The Nun herself was pretty freaky
What I liked less: Disjointed story, Too many unanswered questions, Overall “meh” feeling
The Nun begins with two nuns who are attempting to destroy an evil being that has cursed an abbey in a small Romanian village for hundreds of years. After a young man who goes by the name Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet) discovers one of the nuns has hung herself, the Vatican summons Father Burke (Demián Bichir), who is known for his special skills in exorcisms and Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga), a young nun-in-training to investigate the matter. With Frenchie as their guide, they travel to the abbey to uncover the mysteries of the nun’s suicide.
The Nun reintroduces us to a familiar demonic figure that was originally introduced in The Conjuring 2. Sadly, this is where the similarities to the other Conjuring films end. The Nun has its share of jump scares, but the entire film seems to be a compilation of various horror tropes including everything from crosses turning upside down to using holy water to get rid of demons. All the typical exorcism movie elements are there, but none of them really add any context to the story or answer any questions as to why the priest and nun were sent to investigate the suicide. There is no discernable path that the characters take to unravel the mystery, and it attempts to build suspense only to “Hollywood-up” the ending. They sacrificed suspense and mystery and replaced it with monster filled battles and cheesy one-liners. Instead of beautifully haunting ghosts and demons we got what I could only describe as nun-mummies which can now be taken down with shovels and shotguns. A shotgun was not part of Father Burke’s exorcism arsenal but towards the end of the movie you start to think maybe that should have been his weapon of choice all along (who needs a cross and holy water, when you have your trusty 12-gauge).
The setting is as beautiful as it is creepy, and it’s hard not to wonder how they could take such an amazing setting and dumb it down. The Nun herself is particularly creepy and the characters at first glance appear to be interesting which is why it’s so disappointing that the movie feels so much like a missed opportunity. The pacing of the movie is incredibly slow as well, with all the buildup of the investigation most of the time you are just waiting for something to happen. To make it even worse, most of the buildups lead the audience down a path of confusion and not only raise more questions that will never be answered, but also destroy any believability of the story.
Ultimately, fans of The Conjuring franchise will likely leave disappointed and with even more longing for The Conjuring 3 to be released. The movie lacks much of the suspense and outright terror that the previous movies in the series were well known for and ultimately feels like a spinoff movie that lacks any real connection to the movies preceding it. The Nun isn’t a terrible movie, and I didn’t leave feeling as though I had completely wasted an hour and a half of my time, it just really doesn’t do anything to break new ground or move the franchise along in any meaningful way. While there are parts of the movie that will have you jump, the reality is, that the scenes following these moments will keep you bewildered and likely cause you to forget what made you jump in the first place. It has some interesting concepts, but nothing that hasn’t been done better in similar movies before it. In the end it’s a movie that people will not likely hate but will not feel satisfied with either. I certainly wouldn’t recommend paying full price to see it, but it may be worth the Saturday matinee price or watching it when it comes to Blu-ray. If you want a good ghost or demon movie to get you in the Halloween spirit, this isn’t it. You’d be much better off watching the spectacularly classic Poltergeist or The Exorcist if you really want to be scared out of your wits.
What I liked: The setting and atmosphere, The Nun herself was pretty freaky
What I liked less: Disjointed story, Too many unanswered questions, Overall “meh” feeling
Lindsay (1779 KP) rated An Amish Christmas Bakery (4 Stories) in Books
Nov 6, 2019
Cookies and Cheer by Amy Clipston:
Alyssa Byler dreaming of the next holiday window display for her work. As she draws out her idea for the window display and then she gets permission to create it. She needs to ask someone to make the cookie cutters for her. As Alyssa Byler get more ideas. Will they be all good. She asks Kyle Smoker to make the Cookie Cutters will happen when there is more demand?
Alyssa Byler seems to get pulled into the hustle and bustle and forget the most important thing about her lifestyle. As the season approves and gets busier. Everyone is trying to remind her of what import at this time when Christmas is coming.
Will she learn it and ask to be forgiven. Kyle and Alyssa's relationship grows. Will they make it through the rough patch. Celebrate the coming to Christ as it meant to be. Will Alyssa ask the one person to help give her a solution for her to be with her family and Kyle and help her friend Denise?
Loaves of Love by Beth Wiseman:
What would you do if you were left in charge of the bakery during the holiday season? Well, Katie is and she seems to be seeing someone. Though we learn that she is the only girl in a family of eight. So she got to help once her mother is put on bed rest after surgery.
Henry has finally has been able to feel up to ask Katie out on a date. Will, he finally asks her or will it be too late? Henry seems to have some issues with his feelings. He is a family friend of Katie and her family.
There seems to be a woman that comes into the bakery and asks Katie if she can get her order and have it ready by Friday. As she was about the work on the order and miss lunch when David comes in take Katie out to dinner. What will she do?
It seems things get more interesting as the story goes on. What happens between Katie and David? What will happen between Claire and Henry? Katie's brother Jonas stops by as well. What will happen when Katie takes the new oven gift from David?
The woman seems to have ordered twelve loaves of bread. What she does with them. You will be surprised. Katie seems to want her wood ovens after trying it and some mishaps. This woman seems to give Katie a loaf of bread.
The woman talks about the number of twelve. There seem to be quite a few things in the bible the number twelve. She just says the lord was to give it to her and that she calls the bread “Loaves of Love” and then leaves the bakery. You will not believe how it ends when Katie sees another loaf of bread on the counter?
Melting Hearts by Kathleen Fuller:
Have you ever thought you were friends with someone and it turns out they are not your friend? Well, It seems this is the case with Mattie. Does Mattie think she would be like her best friend? Though maybe she should decide for herself.
Mattie is asked to come to help her aunt when she calls her. Though she after a few weeks. She finds out that Peter is coming. Though her aunt and uncle doe not know she strongly dislikes him. Though she believes Peter is horrible.
Peter arrives and things get more interesting between Mattie and Peter. Does Mattie know her friend is using her? Mattie seems to believe that Peter is someone that bad and not to be trusted? But maybe he's a nice guy but can not admit it. Mattie seems to tear between her beliefs and her feelings.
Peter comes to help out with an additional job that Atlee as offered him. Peter seems to be around Mattie. You will be surprised at how this ends. Who will trust who? Mattie's aunt Caroline and her Uncle Atlee get some unexpected news. They are shocked by the news. I do not want to give away the ending to either of the couples mentioned. Is Lizzy more mean and curl and why?
Cakes and Kisses by Kelly Irvin:
How would you feel if you were picked on when doing your job? It boys that do it and find out they do it on purpose. Well, Ambrose gets treated differently. Most everyone likes him. You will be surprised to learn about him.
Martha seems to be at a loss when she finds out her mother passes away. Leaving her and her sister Elsie and her younger siblings to care for. Martha seems to have a bit hard time with the loss of her mother. But will she find love?
Ambrose and Martha seem like they like each other. What will happen when they want to spend more time together? Martha wants to help Ambrose learn to read. Will happen. Burke and Carina seem to want to help her and Ambrose out as well.
Alyssa Byler dreaming of the next holiday window display for her work. As she draws out her idea for the window display and then she gets permission to create it. She needs to ask someone to make the cookie cutters for her. As Alyssa Byler get more ideas. Will they be all good. She asks Kyle Smoker to make the Cookie Cutters will happen when there is more demand?
Alyssa Byler seems to get pulled into the hustle and bustle and forget the most important thing about her lifestyle. As the season approves and gets busier. Everyone is trying to remind her of what import at this time when Christmas is coming.
Will she learn it and ask to be forgiven. Kyle and Alyssa's relationship grows. Will they make it through the rough patch. Celebrate the coming to Christ as it meant to be. Will Alyssa ask the one person to help give her a solution for her to be with her family and Kyle and help her friend Denise?
Loaves of Love by Beth Wiseman:
What would you do if you were left in charge of the bakery during the holiday season? Well, Katie is and she seems to be seeing someone. Though we learn that she is the only girl in a family of eight. So she got to help once her mother is put on bed rest after surgery.
Henry has finally has been able to feel up to ask Katie out on a date. Will, he finally asks her or will it be too late? Henry seems to have some issues with his feelings. He is a family friend of Katie and her family.
There seems to be a woman that comes into the bakery and asks Katie if she can get her order and have it ready by Friday. As she was about the work on the order and miss lunch when David comes in take Katie out to dinner. What will she do?
It seems things get more interesting as the story goes on. What happens between Katie and David? What will happen between Claire and Henry? Katie's brother Jonas stops by as well. What will happen when Katie takes the new oven gift from David?
The woman seems to have ordered twelve loaves of bread. What she does with them. You will be surprised. Katie seems to want her wood ovens after trying it and some mishaps. This woman seems to give Katie a loaf of bread.
The woman talks about the number of twelve. There seem to be quite a few things in the bible the number twelve. She just says the lord was to give it to her and that she calls the bread “Loaves of Love” and then leaves the bakery. You will not believe how it ends when Katie sees another loaf of bread on the counter?
Melting Hearts by Kathleen Fuller:
Have you ever thought you were friends with someone and it turns out they are not your friend? Well, It seems this is the case with Mattie. Does Mattie think she would be like her best friend? Though maybe she should decide for herself.
Mattie is asked to come to help her aunt when she calls her. Though she after a few weeks. She finds out that Peter is coming. Though her aunt and uncle doe not know she strongly dislikes him. Though she believes Peter is horrible.
Peter arrives and things get more interesting between Mattie and Peter. Does Mattie know her friend is using her? Mattie seems to believe that Peter is someone that bad and not to be trusted? But maybe he's a nice guy but can not admit it. Mattie seems to tear between her beliefs and her feelings.
Peter comes to help out with an additional job that Atlee as offered him. Peter seems to be around Mattie. You will be surprised at how this ends. Who will trust who? Mattie's aunt Caroline and her Uncle Atlee get some unexpected news. They are shocked by the news. I do not want to give away the ending to either of the couples mentioned. Is Lizzy more mean and curl and why?
Cakes and Kisses by Kelly Irvin:
How would you feel if you were picked on when doing your job? It boys that do it and find out they do it on purpose. Well, Ambrose gets treated differently. Most everyone likes him. You will be surprised to learn about him.
Martha seems to be at a loss when she finds out her mother passes away. Leaving her and her sister Elsie and her younger siblings to care for. Martha seems to have a bit hard time with the loss of her mother. But will she find love?
Ambrose and Martha seem like they like each other. What will happen when they want to spend more time together? Martha wants to help Ambrose learn to read. Will happen. Burke and Carina seem to want to help her and Ambrose out as well.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Last Christmas (2019) in Movies
Nov 25, 2019
Alas, Christmas
Oh Dear! Now I wouldn't go as far as saying I had "high hopes" for this film, but as a real fan of the goo-fest that is "Love Actually" I at least thought this might fill some seasonal void in the run up to the festive season. "Best Christmas film of the decade!!" screams the marketing. Er... no.
This review will be spoiler free.
The plot: Kate (Emilia Clarke) is an immigrant from the former-Yugoslavia now living in London. She has a dead-end job working for "Santa" (Michelle Yeoh) in a Christmas shop in Covent Garden. She is perennially lubricated both with drink and other bodily fluids thanks to her hedonistic lifestyle. And she really likes George Michael.
But life just seems vacuous and to have no purpose for her anymore. Her composure is not helped by her mother (Emma Thompson) constantly fussing about her health, since Kate has only recently recovered from a serious illness.
Dropping into her life then comes Tom (Henry Golding). Smartly dressed and calmly reassuring, Tom seems to have the potential to start turning Kate's life around. But is she prepared to listen?
There are startling similarities here with Phoebe Waller-Bridge's triumphant tribute to hedonistic 30-something sex-addicted females everywhere.... "Fleabag". Kate is similarly louche, hopping from bed to bed in a heartbeat. She has a dysfunctional family and - most strikingly - she has a particularly difficult relationship with her high-achieving sister. This is not helped by a remarkable similarity between the actress playing Marta (Lydia Leonard ) and Fleabag's Clare (Sian Clifford). But whereas Fleabag is both brilliantly written, heart-rending and hilarious, this simply is not.
There were a total of two laughs in the movie for me. Period. Both were lines delivered by Emma Thompson, and if you've seen the film you probably know the ones. Now, I'm aware that Thompson co-wrote the script and she is, of course, a national acting treasure. But here the script is clunky and all of the "comic" scenes are so laboured and forced that they land like leaden weights.
And some of it makes no sense whatsoever. There is some strange Danish sauerkraut salesman (Peter Mygind) with a crush on "Santa". He suddenly appears in the shop acting like some escaped mental patient. When he first appears, acting bizarrely, you think, "oh, there must be some fascinating backstory between these two - a murky past they are trying to rekindle". But no! This is the first time they have EVER met? It's completely bonkers!
Much was made of this being Michelle Yeoh's "first comedy". Sorry, but if she proves anything here it is that she is not a comic actress.
Emilia Clarke is still looking to land in a decent mainstream role outside "Game of Thrones", after a failed Terminator sequel, a half-decent weepie ("Me Before You") and the commercial failure that was "Solo". Here she certainly looks curvaciously cute as the Christmas elf. But unfortunately cute can't save her from the car-crash of a script.
Similarly Henry Golding is well-dressed eye-candy for the ladies, almost doing a re-tread of his cool and laid-back character from the excellent "Crazy Rich Asians". Without the same need to be "zany", he fairs slightly better from the script. But again, this feels like one to shuffle into a quiet corner of his CV.
What can I say that's even remotely good about this? Three things:
1) London. It looks glorious, decked out in lights like some chocolate-box-cover cum tourist-board publicity shot. London is one of the most photogenic cities on the planet, and I could relate to Tom's mantra to "look up" and see all of the architectural quirks and foibles that exist around every corner in that wonderful city;
2) The payoff. Exactly when you get the payoff will depend on how much you know going in (if you've managed to avoid the trailer... continue to avoid it!) and how attentive you are. There's an "aha!" moment. And it's nicely played out.
3) There's a topical xenophobic Brexit angle, that's a little clumsy in the exposition but - in my view - is good for the telling.
This is a movie desperately trying to blend "Love Actually" with another Christmas classic (no... not "Die Hard"... but to say more would introduce spoilers!) But in my view it misses badly.
The director is Paul Feig, famous for "Bridesmaids" and "Spy" and infamous for the female "Ghostbusters" reboot.
There are clearly lovers of this film. At the time of writing it has made an impressive $51M on its $25M budget. But I went with another three cinema-goers from my family, all of differing ages and sentiments: and we all universally agreed on the rating for this one.
(For the graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2019/11/25/one-manns-movies-film-review-last-christmas-2019/ . Thanks).
This review will be spoiler free.
The plot: Kate (Emilia Clarke) is an immigrant from the former-Yugoslavia now living in London. She has a dead-end job working for "Santa" (Michelle Yeoh) in a Christmas shop in Covent Garden. She is perennially lubricated both with drink and other bodily fluids thanks to her hedonistic lifestyle. And she really likes George Michael.
But life just seems vacuous and to have no purpose for her anymore. Her composure is not helped by her mother (Emma Thompson) constantly fussing about her health, since Kate has only recently recovered from a serious illness.
Dropping into her life then comes Tom (Henry Golding). Smartly dressed and calmly reassuring, Tom seems to have the potential to start turning Kate's life around. But is she prepared to listen?
There are startling similarities here with Phoebe Waller-Bridge's triumphant tribute to hedonistic 30-something sex-addicted females everywhere.... "Fleabag". Kate is similarly louche, hopping from bed to bed in a heartbeat. She has a dysfunctional family and - most strikingly - she has a particularly difficult relationship with her high-achieving sister. This is not helped by a remarkable similarity between the actress playing Marta (Lydia Leonard ) and Fleabag's Clare (Sian Clifford). But whereas Fleabag is both brilliantly written, heart-rending and hilarious, this simply is not.
There were a total of two laughs in the movie for me. Period. Both were lines delivered by Emma Thompson, and if you've seen the film you probably know the ones. Now, I'm aware that Thompson co-wrote the script and she is, of course, a national acting treasure. But here the script is clunky and all of the "comic" scenes are so laboured and forced that they land like leaden weights.
And some of it makes no sense whatsoever. There is some strange Danish sauerkraut salesman (Peter Mygind) with a crush on "Santa". He suddenly appears in the shop acting like some escaped mental patient. When he first appears, acting bizarrely, you think, "oh, there must be some fascinating backstory between these two - a murky past they are trying to rekindle". But no! This is the first time they have EVER met? It's completely bonkers!
Much was made of this being Michelle Yeoh's "first comedy". Sorry, but if she proves anything here it is that she is not a comic actress.
Emilia Clarke is still looking to land in a decent mainstream role outside "Game of Thrones", after a failed Terminator sequel, a half-decent weepie ("Me Before You") and the commercial failure that was "Solo". Here she certainly looks curvaciously cute as the Christmas elf. But unfortunately cute can't save her from the car-crash of a script.
Similarly Henry Golding is well-dressed eye-candy for the ladies, almost doing a re-tread of his cool and laid-back character from the excellent "Crazy Rich Asians". Without the same need to be "zany", he fairs slightly better from the script. But again, this feels like one to shuffle into a quiet corner of his CV.
What can I say that's even remotely good about this? Three things:
1) London. It looks glorious, decked out in lights like some chocolate-box-cover cum tourist-board publicity shot. London is one of the most photogenic cities on the planet, and I could relate to Tom's mantra to "look up" and see all of the architectural quirks and foibles that exist around every corner in that wonderful city;
2) The payoff. Exactly when you get the payoff will depend on how much you know going in (if you've managed to avoid the trailer... continue to avoid it!) and how attentive you are. There's an "aha!" moment. And it's nicely played out.
3) There's a topical xenophobic Brexit angle, that's a little clumsy in the exposition but - in my view - is good for the telling.
This is a movie desperately trying to blend "Love Actually" with another Christmas classic (no... not "Die Hard"... but to say more would introduce spoilers!) But in my view it misses badly.
The director is Paul Feig, famous for "Bridesmaids" and "Spy" and infamous for the female "Ghostbusters" reboot.
There are clearly lovers of this film. At the time of writing it has made an impressive $51M on its $25M budget. But I went with another three cinema-goers from my family, all of differing ages and sentiments: and we all universally agreed on the rating for this one.
(For the graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2019/11/25/one-manns-movies-film-review-last-christmas-2019/ . Thanks).
Lee (2222 KP) rated Parasite (2019) in Movies
Jan 27, 2020 (Updated Jan 27, 2020)
About twenty or so years ago, before the age of social media and all the FOMO and spoilers that comes from having such easy access to the entire movie loving world, a delayed UK release for a movie that had already been out in the US for some months wasn't such a big deal. I can remember buying an imported region 1 DVD of The Blair Witch Project and watching it on Halloween night in the UK, in the comfort of my living room and on the day it was released in the cinema. I was pretty disappointed with what I saw, but that's not my point here. Recently, we seem to be regressing to that period in time once more - not with big releases such as Marvel movies, which we are usually lucky enough to sometimes get a day or so before the US, but with films that could be described as being a little less mainstream. The Lighthouse, Jojo Rabbit, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood and the subject of this review, Parasite, have all been subject to such treatment and, along with the delayed release of Disney+, the UK currently seems to be getting a serious shafting. Parasite though is a movie for which I've heard nothing but praise for what seems like forever now. It has received six Oscar nominations and is now receiving a US disc release before it's even released in UK cinemas! Anyway, ranting aside, I did manage to avoid any spoilers for Parasite and was able to go in fairly unclear as to what to expect, and I would urge everyone else to do the same. Consequently, I will try to review it by giving away as little as possible.
Parasite tells the story of the Kim family, living in poverty in a cluttered South Korean basement. When we join them they are all desperately trying to find a spot in their home where they can pick up on a nearby public WiFi hot spot in order to connect their phones to Whatsapp (turns out, it's in the corner of the toilet!). Times are clearly tough and when the mother manages to get a small job putting together pizza boxes at home, the whole family chips in to help. They even have the pleasure of being able to view drunk men staggering down their street and urinating right outside the basement window while they try to eat at their dining room table.
A friend of the son comes to visit him one evening and tells him that he has to go away for a while. He currently has a job teaching English to the daughter of the wealthy Park family and wonders if Ki-woo would like to temporarily take over for him. Despite Ki-woo having no experience in tutoring, Ki-woo is assured by his friend that it will be easy money and, providing he can win over the confidence of the "simple" mother of the house, he'll have no problem. Sure enough, the confident Ki-woo, backed up by a certificate created for him in Photoshop by his sister, manages to land himself a regular tutoring job. Then, with the use of charm, lies and deception, Ki-woo soon manages to secure cushy jobs within the Park household for the rest of his family - art tutor, housekeeper and chauffeur - all being introduced as either old acquaintances or referrals from colleagues rather than family members. And so, the family find themselves having to lead double lives, juggling their own poverty stricken home-life together, along with the separate lives they lead while working for the Park family as work colleagues.
And that is really the basis of the movie. It's an elaborate scheme which, despite being deceptive and dishonest, is a lot of fun to see play out, and at times you really can get behind the Kim family and root for them. Things go comically wrong, in the kind of way that reminded me of a sitcom where a situation involves our stars getting themselves deeper and deeper into something, no matter how hard they try to go along with it and come up with a solution. And then things start to go horribly, even horrifically wrong, courtesy of a number of little twists and shocks.
Don't let the fact that Parasite is a subtitled movie put you off and believe all the hype you come across, as this is a must see movie and I was gripped, on the edge of my seat and thoroughly entertained for the most part. There is a very clear message played out concerning the rich/poor divide - obvious at times, when you see the contrasting effect that a serious storm has on each family - and much subtler at other times. There are some elements though, surrounding the ending of the movie, which I didn't quite buy into and that stopped this from being a full 10 out of 10 from me. I felt there was a clear point where this could and should have ended earlier, but still an incredible movie all the same.
Parasite tells the story of the Kim family, living in poverty in a cluttered South Korean basement. When we join them they are all desperately trying to find a spot in their home where they can pick up on a nearby public WiFi hot spot in order to connect their phones to Whatsapp (turns out, it's in the corner of the toilet!). Times are clearly tough and when the mother manages to get a small job putting together pizza boxes at home, the whole family chips in to help. They even have the pleasure of being able to view drunk men staggering down their street and urinating right outside the basement window while they try to eat at their dining room table.
A friend of the son comes to visit him one evening and tells him that he has to go away for a while. He currently has a job teaching English to the daughter of the wealthy Park family and wonders if Ki-woo would like to temporarily take over for him. Despite Ki-woo having no experience in tutoring, Ki-woo is assured by his friend that it will be easy money and, providing he can win over the confidence of the "simple" mother of the house, he'll have no problem. Sure enough, the confident Ki-woo, backed up by a certificate created for him in Photoshop by his sister, manages to land himself a regular tutoring job. Then, with the use of charm, lies and deception, Ki-woo soon manages to secure cushy jobs within the Park household for the rest of his family - art tutor, housekeeper and chauffeur - all being introduced as either old acquaintances or referrals from colleagues rather than family members. And so, the family find themselves having to lead double lives, juggling their own poverty stricken home-life together, along with the separate lives they lead while working for the Park family as work colleagues.
And that is really the basis of the movie. It's an elaborate scheme which, despite being deceptive and dishonest, is a lot of fun to see play out, and at times you really can get behind the Kim family and root for them. Things go comically wrong, in the kind of way that reminded me of a sitcom where a situation involves our stars getting themselves deeper and deeper into something, no matter how hard they try to go along with it and come up with a solution. And then things start to go horribly, even horrifically wrong, courtesy of a number of little twists and shocks.
Don't let the fact that Parasite is a subtitled movie put you off and believe all the hype you come across, as this is a must see movie and I was gripped, on the edge of my seat and thoroughly entertained for the most part. There is a very clear message played out concerning the rich/poor divide - obvious at times, when you see the contrasting effect that a serious storm has on each family - and much subtler at other times. There are some elements though, surrounding the ending of the movie, which I didn't quite buy into and that stopped this from being a full 10 out of 10 from me. I felt there was a clear point where this could and should have ended earlier, but still an incredible movie all the same.
Debbiereadsbook (1560 KP) rated Val (The Hawks #2) in Books
May 12, 2021
I can't wait for what comes next, because I'm not seeing the whole picture yet!
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted my copy of this book. I also won a signed copy!
OK SO! This is book 2 in The Hawks series, and you really REALLY MUST read Tristan, book 1, before this one. This book picks up immediately after that one, and you need, you really NEED that book to get the full picture of what's happened before. You get the most of it recapped, but personally, I don't think it ALL comes across.
Lanval was rescued, along with his sister Nim and Keeley, the Queen's maid. The Queen, however, was not and Val needs to rescue Alanna before her despot of a husband hangs her for treason she did not commit. But Val is broken, inside and out, and his Hawk friends hate him for what they thought he did. Lanni is glad Val is free, she can die knowing he is safe. Then, he's there, rescuing her and whisking her away! Ballinor won't stop though, and with a new chancellor at his side, things get mighty difficult for everyone.
In case you missed it, when you read my review for Tristan, I LOVED that book. And I wanted to love this one as much as that one, but I can't, as much as it pains me, I really can't.
Why?? Cos I LOVED THIS ONE MORE!!
OH my freaking gosh, this book! Full of so much! So much pain, for both Lanni and Val. So much love between them, even if it takes them such a long time to finally, FINALLY come together fully. So much discovered, by The hawks, about what happened before, and so much guilt from everyone!
I cried, a lot in this book. Val and Lanni are perfect for each other, but they know they can never be free to be together, while the King listens to his newest Chancellor. Oh I did NOT like him. The last one was just trying to get his hands on Lanni, but this one?? He's after so much more than that. What exactly, I'm not entirely sure yet, but I'm sure all will be revealed, eventually! I love being kept in the dark!
I shouted a lot too! Lanni has a lot of ideas about honour, as does Val, but some of it is misplaced. I swore, a few choice words a sailor would be proud of, or rather, words a soldier in the barracks would be proud of! These men, this group, right? They love hard, they fight hard, and they *think* they mess up hard, but actually, THEY don't! Reece, oh he needs such a hug. He thinks he caused most of the group to be captured, but he didn't. Even the Chancellor says so, but Reece feels he did. His book is gonna be painful reading, I reckon!
Both Lanni and Val get a say, along with Mathos, who has his book next. I did see him with someone else, to be honest, but given what was discovered here, then reading what it says at the end of this one, I was made to see my error. Mathos is not Mabin, like Val and Nim, but something else. Something with a beast inside him. With scales. Dragon-type beast? Not 100% certain, I may have missed all the clues, but Mathos the man is a bit of a player. He thinks he won't fall like Tristan and Val, so when he meets his lady in the next book, there is sure to be fireworks.
Said lady also gets the epilogue. When she was revealed in this book, I wasn't expecting her, and she has quite a tale to tell, I'm sure. How she will react to Mathos should be amusing, given these men have protective streaks a canyon wide, and she has been where she has all her life.
I said in my review for Tristan that I thought this would be a much darker read than that one, and it is, it really is. The level of violence Ballinor steps up to is given in great detail, and you can feel every lash given, every punch taken and every injury to Lanni at the hands of her husband. Val too, but it's mostly Lanni who suffers here.
I can't wait for what comes next, because I'm not seeing the whole picture yet. I can't see where this is all going and I love that! Mostly, though, because I'm loving these guys, watching them fall one by one, and meeting the strong women who take their hearts.
Write quicker, Ms Roberts.
Write.
Quicker!
5 stars, but more if I could!
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
OK SO! This is book 2 in The Hawks series, and you really REALLY MUST read Tristan, book 1, before this one. This book picks up immediately after that one, and you need, you really NEED that book to get the full picture of what's happened before. You get the most of it recapped, but personally, I don't think it ALL comes across.
Lanval was rescued, along with his sister Nim and Keeley, the Queen's maid. The Queen, however, was not and Val needs to rescue Alanna before her despot of a husband hangs her for treason she did not commit. But Val is broken, inside and out, and his Hawk friends hate him for what they thought he did. Lanni is glad Val is free, she can die knowing he is safe. Then, he's there, rescuing her and whisking her away! Ballinor won't stop though, and with a new chancellor at his side, things get mighty difficult for everyone.
In case you missed it, when you read my review for Tristan, I LOVED that book. And I wanted to love this one as much as that one, but I can't, as much as it pains me, I really can't.
Why?? Cos I LOVED THIS ONE MORE!!
OH my freaking gosh, this book! Full of so much! So much pain, for both Lanni and Val. So much love between them, even if it takes them such a long time to finally, FINALLY come together fully. So much discovered, by The hawks, about what happened before, and so much guilt from everyone!
I cried, a lot in this book. Val and Lanni are perfect for each other, but they know they can never be free to be together, while the King listens to his newest Chancellor. Oh I did NOT like him. The last one was just trying to get his hands on Lanni, but this one?? He's after so much more than that. What exactly, I'm not entirely sure yet, but I'm sure all will be revealed, eventually! I love being kept in the dark!
I shouted a lot too! Lanni has a lot of ideas about honour, as does Val, but some of it is misplaced. I swore, a few choice words a sailor would be proud of, or rather, words a soldier in the barracks would be proud of! These men, this group, right? They love hard, they fight hard, and they *think* they mess up hard, but actually, THEY don't! Reece, oh he needs such a hug. He thinks he caused most of the group to be captured, but he didn't. Even the Chancellor says so, but Reece feels he did. His book is gonna be painful reading, I reckon!
Both Lanni and Val get a say, along with Mathos, who has his book next. I did see him with someone else, to be honest, but given what was discovered here, then reading what it says at the end of this one, I was made to see my error. Mathos is not Mabin, like Val and Nim, but something else. Something with a beast inside him. With scales. Dragon-type beast? Not 100% certain, I may have missed all the clues, but Mathos the man is a bit of a player. He thinks he won't fall like Tristan and Val, so when he meets his lady in the next book, there is sure to be fireworks.
Said lady also gets the epilogue. When she was revealed in this book, I wasn't expecting her, and she has quite a tale to tell, I'm sure. How she will react to Mathos should be amusing, given these men have protective streaks a canyon wide, and she has been where she has all her life.
I said in my review for Tristan that I thought this would be a much darker read than that one, and it is, it really is. The level of violence Ballinor steps up to is given in great detail, and you can feel every lash given, every punch taken and every injury to Lanni at the hands of her husband. Val too, but it's mostly Lanni who suffers here.
I can't wait for what comes next, because I'm not seeing the whole picture yet. I can't see where this is all going and I love that! Mostly, though, because I'm loving these guys, watching them fall one by one, and meeting the strong women who take their hearts.
Write quicker, Ms Roberts.
Write.
Quicker!
5 stars, but more if I could!
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
Lyndsey Gollogly (2893 KP) rated The Best Horror of the Year Volume 1 in Books
Apr 30, 2021
56 of 250
Book
The Best Horror of the Year Volume 1
Edited by Ellen Datlow
Once read a review will be written via Smashbomb and link posted in comments!
I will post in comments a short comment on each story!
An Air Force Loadmaster is menaced by strange sounds within his cargo; a man is asked to track down a childhood friend... who died years earlier; doomed pioneers forge a path westward as a young mother discovers her true nature; an alcoholic strikes a dangerous bargain with a gregarious stranger; urban explorers delve into a ruined book depository, finding more than they anticipated; residents of a rural Wisconsin town defend against a legendary monster; a woman wracked by survivor's guilt is haunted by the ghosts of a tragic crash; a detective strives to solve the mystery of a dismembered girl; an orphan returns to a wicked witch's candy house; a group of smugglers find themselves buried to the necks in sand; an unanticipated guest brings doom to a high-class party; a teacher attempts to lead his students to safety as the world comes to an end around them...
What frightens us, what unnerves us? What causes that delicious shiver of fear to travel the lengths of our spines? It seems the answer changes every year. Every year the bar is raised; the screw is tightened. Ellen Datlow knows what scares us; the twenty-one stories and poems included in this anthology were chosen from magazines, webzines, anthologies, literary journals, and single author collections to represent the best horror of the year.
Legendary editor Ellen Datlow (Poe: New Tales Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe), winner of multiple Hugo, Bram Stoker, and World Fantasy awards, joins Night Shade Books in presenting The Best Horror of the Year, Volume One.
1. Cargo by E.Michael Lewis
So chilling and so sad! This is short I dedication to the families of those children in Jonestown and the men and women who brought the bodies home.
2. If Angels Fight by Richard Bowes
This is about a man searching for his friend who was possessed by an Angel. On this journey you see and find out that this Angel left his friend and left a trail behind him to follow. His family never gave up he managed to find his friend and Angel Michael and return him to his home one last time. Only question was did he bring him home to find his sister to posses or to say goodbye to his mother?.
3. The Clay Party by Steve Duffy
A group of settlers embark on a journey for a new life in California in 1846, the journey does not go as expected. I was a bit bored at the beginning but certainly had a twist at the end.
4. Penguins of the Apocalypse by William Browning Spencer
This is brilliant! A man fighting his personal battles with alcohol! Now is the pulka and penguin freedom movement real or a fragment of his imagination while under the influence? Either way it was entertaining!
5. Esmeralda by Glen Hirshberg
This is a very strange little story involving the end of all books,pens and paper! Very odd!
6. The Hodog by Trent Hergenrader
A good old fashioned urban legend!
7. Very Low Flying Aircraft by Nicholas Royle
Not one for me didnt really grip me.
8. When the Gentlemen Go By. By Margaret Ronald
This was a bit chilling and I would love to have read more about these “Gentlemen” who come at night to make bargains!
9. The Lagerstatte by Laird Barron
Grief does strange things to our minds and body! This was quite chilling.
10. Harry and the Monkey by Euan Harvey
This really plays on every fear a parent has when their kids go missing especially in a place and time where children are vanishing!
11 Dress Circle by Miranda Siemeinowicz
12. The Rising River. By Daniel Kaysen
This was strange and after reading it I’m still not sure what’s happening 😂😂
13 Loup-Garou by R.B. Russell
I enjoyed this strange litte story set in my hometown of Birmingham. A little french film causes a little drama in this mans life.
14. Girl in pieces by Graham Edwards
This was my favourite! So far fetched into a world of monsters a detective helps a Golum save a girl cut to pieces! So much fun
15 It washed up by Joe R. Lonsdale
Wow how to pack a punch in 2 pages! Loved it!
16 The Man from the Peak by Adam Golaski
Brilliant short full of mystery blood and gore! Very well written.
17. The Narrows by Simon Bestwick
This actually chilled me I’d hate sending my child to school and have something like this happen which of course is totally possible.
I loved this book of small tales and discovering those writers I wouldn’t normally be exposed too!
Book
The Best Horror of the Year Volume 1
Edited by Ellen Datlow
Once read a review will be written via Smashbomb and link posted in comments!
I will post in comments a short comment on each story!
An Air Force Loadmaster is menaced by strange sounds within his cargo; a man is asked to track down a childhood friend... who died years earlier; doomed pioneers forge a path westward as a young mother discovers her true nature; an alcoholic strikes a dangerous bargain with a gregarious stranger; urban explorers delve into a ruined book depository, finding more than they anticipated; residents of a rural Wisconsin town defend against a legendary monster; a woman wracked by survivor's guilt is haunted by the ghosts of a tragic crash; a detective strives to solve the mystery of a dismembered girl; an orphan returns to a wicked witch's candy house; a group of smugglers find themselves buried to the necks in sand; an unanticipated guest brings doom to a high-class party; a teacher attempts to lead his students to safety as the world comes to an end around them...
What frightens us, what unnerves us? What causes that delicious shiver of fear to travel the lengths of our spines? It seems the answer changes every year. Every year the bar is raised; the screw is tightened. Ellen Datlow knows what scares us; the twenty-one stories and poems included in this anthology were chosen from magazines, webzines, anthologies, literary journals, and single author collections to represent the best horror of the year.
Legendary editor Ellen Datlow (Poe: New Tales Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe), winner of multiple Hugo, Bram Stoker, and World Fantasy awards, joins Night Shade Books in presenting The Best Horror of the Year, Volume One.
1. Cargo by E.Michael Lewis
So chilling and so sad! This is short I dedication to the families of those children in Jonestown and the men and women who brought the bodies home.
2. If Angels Fight by Richard Bowes
This is about a man searching for his friend who was possessed by an Angel. On this journey you see and find out that this Angel left his friend and left a trail behind him to follow. His family never gave up he managed to find his friend and Angel Michael and return him to his home one last time. Only question was did he bring him home to find his sister to posses or to say goodbye to his mother?.
3. The Clay Party by Steve Duffy
A group of settlers embark on a journey for a new life in California in 1846, the journey does not go as expected. I was a bit bored at the beginning but certainly had a twist at the end.
4. Penguins of the Apocalypse by William Browning Spencer
This is brilliant! A man fighting his personal battles with alcohol! Now is the pulka and penguin freedom movement real or a fragment of his imagination while under the influence? Either way it was entertaining!
5. Esmeralda by Glen Hirshberg
This is a very strange little story involving the end of all books,pens and paper! Very odd!
6. The Hodog by Trent Hergenrader
A good old fashioned urban legend!
7. Very Low Flying Aircraft by Nicholas Royle
Not one for me didnt really grip me.
8. When the Gentlemen Go By. By Margaret Ronald
This was a bit chilling and I would love to have read more about these “Gentlemen” who come at night to make bargains!
9. The Lagerstatte by Laird Barron
Grief does strange things to our minds and body! This was quite chilling.
10. Harry and the Monkey by Euan Harvey
This really plays on every fear a parent has when their kids go missing especially in a place and time where children are vanishing!
11 Dress Circle by Miranda Siemeinowicz
12. The Rising River. By Daniel Kaysen
This was strange and after reading it I’m still not sure what’s happening 😂😂
13 Loup-Garou by R.B. Russell
I enjoyed this strange litte story set in my hometown of Birmingham. A little french film causes a little drama in this mans life.
14. Girl in pieces by Graham Edwards
This was my favourite! So far fetched into a world of monsters a detective helps a Golum save a girl cut to pieces! So much fun
15 It washed up by Joe R. Lonsdale
Wow how to pack a punch in 2 pages! Loved it!
16 The Man from the Peak by Adam Golaski
Brilliant short full of mystery blood and gore! Very well written.
17. The Narrows by Simon Bestwick
This actually chilled me I’d hate sending my child to school and have something like this happen which of course is totally possible.
I loved this book of small tales and discovering those writers I wouldn’t normally be exposed too!
Hadley (567 KP) rated Cigarette Teeth in Books
Dec 4, 2020
Great writing (1 more)
Amazing descriptions
In this day-and-age, everyone is willing to do anything to get what they want. People leave their morals and values behind at the drop of a hat. Partly, because of this, mental illness is at an all-time high and happiness is at an all-time low.
What if I told you there was a phone number you could call that would give you whatever you wanted...for a simple favor in return? Enter : Cigarette Teeth. The horror novel concerns two different places that exist in our world: the Pleasure Palace, where the Magician resides in an overcast of red light where he helps make peoples' 'dreams' come true, and our reality - - - the world as we've grown to know it.
Our main character, Mike Hadley, can't remember his past or how he ended up working for the Magician, but he's more than happy to do what he's told in Cigarette Teeth. Some things seem familiar to him, like his working partner, Tommy; but if you asked him what he did last night for the Magician, he wouldn't be able to tell you or remember it himself. Harper, a man Hadley meets early on in the story, who is the stereo-typical hardened detective, tells Hadley that he knows that the Pleasure Palace has been the cause of hundreds of disappearances - - - including Harper's own brother and sister- - - and demands that Hadley help him get into the Palace to find them.
Hadley is kidnapped by Harper while people working for the Pleasure Palace begin to come after them, trying to kill them. Unlike Hadley, Harper has done a lot of detective work on the Pleasure Palace and knows much more than he does. For Hadley, a lot of things begin to make sense and no sense at the same time, like people who work for the Pleasure Palace can't die, instead they regenerate in a very gruesome way- - - something he had never seen happen before. Now, being away from the Palace, whenever Hadley falls asleep, memories start to come back to him in the form of dreams; most of them take place in metaphorical places that slowly unwrap his tragic past to the reader.
I often found myself fascinated by the characters Hewish came up with that live in the Pleasure Palace. One being the Zipper Sisters: "Kela and and Lua Von Zipper. Conjoined twins; connected at the hip and zipped into the one gigantic pinched- leather corset. Two heads, two arms, and four legs, all sealed in an ornate, Victorian-style leather dress hemmed with black lace.
Their makeup was corpse-white, their lipstick blood red. Their eyes were shadowed with a weeping pastel green, like something from a carnival sideshow. Their 18th-century dress continued with ruffles and lacy stockings, all the colour of snow. The two pairs of shoes they wore- - - shiny little school shoes, the ones with the clasps over the top- - - completed the look. It gave these sinister twins a suggested air of innocence- - - the filthiest of lies. "
When the pair meet with the Architect of the Pleasure Palace (Horitoshi Li), the story really begins to take off. The information given to them by Li about the Magician is the real start to their journey to stop the Palace and find Harper's missing siblings, as long as they include Li in the plan.
As expected, a friend of Harper's, named Sophie, gets caught up in their journey- - - saving their lives more than once, thanks to her nursing background. Sophie felt like a filler character at first, but in the end, I think she was needed to make the story well-rounded, like her insight of psychology: "...But...it's just interesting. Did you know the second most common dream people have is about their teeth? After the 'being chased' phenomenon that usually coincides with a hallway and a door. Most notable psychologists don't really offer insight on dreams- - - the most popular consensus is that they're nothing more than cerebral static, just garbled images and words that occasionally form to make something that seems to have weight..."
Though I want to say so much more about the novel, it would give away a lot of the surprises that are hidden inside. Hewish's writing is gold; the way he describes scenes is beautifully done, but he did waste some of this talent on places where the characters weren't even there for more than a scene (and nothing really came of it). Also, Harper states one time early in the book that he has killed Hadley before... this is never explained or spoken of again. I think that was a very important part to this story, especially with how things turn out between Harper and Hadley.
There were only a few inconsistencies that are completely able to be looked over and don't ruin the novel. This is master storytelling, and I am looking very forward to more work by Hewish! I would recommend this book to fans of the show "Twin Peaks," and the video game (because I love horror video games) "Evil Within." Highly recommend!
What if I told you there was a phone number you could call that would give you whatever you wanted...for a simple favor in return? Enter : Cigarette Teeth. The horror novel concerns two different places that exist in our world: the Pleasure Palace, where the Magician resides in an overcast of red light where he helps make peoples' 'dreams' come true, and our reality - - - the world as we've grown to know it.
Our main character, Mike Hadley, can't remember his past or how he ended up working for the Magician, but he's more than happy to do what he's told in Cigarette Teeth. Some things seem familiar to him, like his working partner, Tommy; but if you asked him what he did last night for the Magician, he wouldn't be able to tell you or remember it himself. Harper, a man Hadley meets early on in the story, who is the stereo-typical hardened detective, tells Hadley that he knows that the Pleasure Palace has been the cause of hundreds of disappearances - - - including Harper's own brother and sister- - - and demands that Hadley help him get into the Palace to find them.
Hadley is kidnapped by Harper while people working for the Pleasure Palace begin to come after them, trying to kill them. Unlike Hadley, Harper has done a lot of detective work on the Pleasure Palace and knows much more than he does. For Hadley, a lot of things begin to make sense and no sense at the same time, like people who work for the Pleasure Palace can't die, instead they regenerate in a very gruesome way- - - something he had never seen happen before. Now, being away from the Palace, whenever Hadley falls asleep, memories start to come back to him in the form of dreams; most of them take place in metaphorical places that slowly unwrap his tragic past to the reader.
I often found myself fascinated by the characters Hewish came up with that live in the Pleasure Palace. One being the Zipper Sisters: "Kela and and Lua Von Zipper. Conjoined twins; connected at the hip and zipped into the one gigantic pinched- leather corset. Two heads, two arms, and four legs, all sealed in an ornate, Victorian-style leather dress hemmed with black lace.
Their makeup was corpse-white, their lipstick blood red. Their eyes were shadowed with a weeping pastel green, like something from a carnival sideshow. Their 18th-century dress continued with ruffles and lacy stockings, all the colour of snow. The two pairs of shoes they wore- - - shiny little school shoes, the ones with the clasps over the top- - - completed the look. It gave these sinister twins a suggested air of innocence- - - the filthiest of lies. "
When the pair meet with the Architect of the Pleasure Palace (Horitoshi Li), the story really begins to take off. The information given to them by Li about the Magician is the real start to their journey to stop the Palace and find Harper's missing siblings, as long as they include Li in the plan.
As expected, a friend of Harper's, named Sophie, gets caught up in their journey- - - saving their lives more than once, thanks to her nursing background. Sophie felt like a filler character at first, but in the end, I think she was needed to make the story well-rounded, like her insight of psychology: "...But...it's just interesting. Did you know the second most common dream people have is about their teeth? After the 'being chased' phenomenon that usually coincides with a hallway and a door. Most notable psychologists don't really offer insight on dreams- - - the most popular consensus is that they're nothing more than cerebral static, just garbled images and words that occasionally form to make something that seems to have weight..."
Though I want to say so much more about the novel, it would give away a lot of the surprises that are hidden inside. Hewish's writing is gold; the way he describes scenes is beautifully done, but he did waste some of this talent on places where the characters weren't even there for more than a scene (and nothing really came of it). Also, Harper states one time early in the book that he has killed Hadley before... this is never explained or spoken of again. I think that was a very important part to this story, especially with how things turn out between Harper and Hadley.
There were only a few inconsistencies that are completely able to be looked over and don't ruin the novel. This is master storytelling, and I am looking very forward to more work by Hewish! I would recommend this book to fans of the show "Twin Peaks," and the video game (because I love horror video games) "Evil Within." Highly recommend!
Lee (2222 KP) rated Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe (2020) in Movies
Sep 2, 2020
Like being back with old friends....
Tenet? I’m sorry, no, THIS was actually the biggest movie release of last week. Well, it is when you’re currently having to isolate at home and cannot go to the cinema for a few weeks. Despite that, I was actually way more excited for this to hit Disney+ this morning than a man my age probably should have been, and I have been for sometime, since it was first announced. I even managed to convince my daughter to get up early and watch with me, recreating those wonderful days when we both used to get up bright and early on a Saturday morning and sit and watch back to back episodes.
For the uninitiated, Phineas and Ferb are two step-brothers who spend their summer holiday coming up with highly elaborate ways to occupy every day, usually resulting in some wacky adventures and an extremely frustrated sister, Candace. Candace is forever trying to bust the boys and get their mum to catch them in the act, only to fail every time as some last second incident conveniently erases any evidence. Oh, and they also have a pet platypus called Perry, who without their knowledge works as an agent for a secret animal organisation, trying each episode to thwart the latest evil scheme hatched by Dr Doofenshmirtz. It’s very funny, features some incredibly catchy songs, and is just an extremely well written show for both kids and adults to enjoy. Running for four seasons, and racking up over 200 episodes before ending in 2015, the show also spawned a number of crossover specials involving Marvel and Star Wars.
Candace against the universe is the second feature length Phineas and Ferb movie and opens with Candace, lamenting the sad fact that no matter what she does, she never manages to successfully bust her brothers. All of this is delivered in the form of a song, and acts as a nostalgic reminder of some of the crazy inventions and adventures the boys have been involved in over the course of the series. The song ends with another perfect chance for Candace to bust the boys, who are currently enjoying themselves with their friends in the back garden. But of course, she fails. After heading out to the front of the house, and meeting up with friend Vanessa, she spots an alien spaceship. Believing her brothers to be behind it somehow, she and Vanessa are sucked up inside, before taking off and shooting up into the sky.
The boys see Candace flying away in the ship, and after photographing the alien license plate, are able to quickly identify where she’s headed (as you do…). They round up the gang and quickly rustle up a portal in their back garden (as you do…), in order to jump to the planet where Candace is being taken. The portal takes them via Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc, where they pick up Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus (unknowingly), before heading off in a spaceship of their own. When they do catch up with Candace, they discover that she is being hailed as ‘the chosen one’ by the alien race that captured her. But does the queen of the planet have a more sinister reason for bringing Candace all this way?
It’s fair to say that, unless you’re already a fan of the show, you’re unlikely to have any interest whatsoever in watching Candace Against the Universe. For fans of the show though, this is a wonderful trip down memory lane, unless you’ve already spent all of lockdown recently catching up on all of the episodes on Disney+, and it feels so good to be back in the company of such wonderful characters. There’s a lot of comfort to be had from the running gags and themes of the episode format of the show, and the only thing I found with this movie, and the crossover shows, is that they end up feeling like a dragged out episode at times, tending to sag a little around the middle.
It’s a very minor complaint though. The songs are as good as ever, including a song from Doofenshmirtz about ‘adulting’, and the humour is still smart and on point, although Buford does tend to get some of the funnier lines in my opinion. And when Buford gets ridiculed for bringing a canoe with him on their trip to the alien planet, and Doofenshmirtz gets laughed at for inventing something as stupid as a “Chicken Replace-inator” – basically a gun which swaps whatever you fire at with the nearest chicken – you just know they’re working on delivering us some great gags later on throughout the movie. And obviously, Perry the Platypus gets to save the day as usual, and without anyone even realising it. It’s like being back in the company of old friends. Fingers crossed that this isn’t the last we see of Phineas, Ferb and the gang.
For the uninitiated, Phineas and Ferb are two step-brothers who spend their summer holiday coming up with highly elaborate ways to occupy every day, usually resulting in some wacky adventures and an extremely frustrated sister, Candace. Candace is forever trying to bust the boys and get their mum to catch them in the act, only to fail every time as some last second incident conveniently erases any evidence. Oh, and they also have a pet platypus called Perry, who without their knowledge works as an agent for a secret animal organisation, trying each episode to thwart the latest evil scheme hatched by Dr Doofenshmirtz. It’s very funny, features some incredibly catchy songs, and is just an extremely well written show for both kids and adults to enjoy. Running for four seasons, and racking up over 200 episodes before ending in 2015, the show also spawned a number of crossover specials involving Marvel and Star Wars.
Candace against the universe is the second feature length Phineas and Ferb movie and opens with Candace, lamenting the sad fact that no matter what she does, she never manages to successfully bust her brothers. All of this is delivered in the form of a song, and acts as a nostalgic reminder of some of the crazy inventions and adventures the boys have been involved in over the course of the series. The song ends with another perfect chance for Candace to bust the boys, who are currently enjoying themselves with their friends in the back garden. But of course, she fails. After heading out to the front of the house, and meeting up with friend Vanessa, she spots an alien spaceship. Believing her brothers to be behind it somehow, she and Vanessa are sucked up inside, before taking off and shooting up into the sky.
The boys see Candace flying away in the ship, and after photographing the alien license plate, are able to quickly identify where she’s headed (as you do…). They round up the gang and quickly rustle up a portal in their back garden (as you do…), in order to jump to the planet where Candace is being taken. The portal takes them via Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc, where they pick up Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus (unknowingly), before heading off in a spaceship of their own. When they do catch up with Candace, they discover that she is being hailed as ‘the chosen one’ by the alien race that captured her. But does the queen of the planet have a more sinister reason for bringing Candace all this way?
It’s fair to say that, unless you’re already a fan of the show, you’re unlikely to have any interest whatsoever in watching Candace Against the Universe. For fans of the show though, this is a wonderful trip down memory lane, unless you’ve already spent all of lockdown recently catching up on all of the episodes on Disney+, and it feels so good to be back in the company of such wonderful characters. There’s a lot of comfort to be had from the running gags and themes of the episode format of the show, and the only thing I found with this movie, and the crossover shows, is that they end up feeling like a dragged out episode at times, tending to sag a little around the middle.
It’s a very minor complaint though. The songs are as good as ever, including a song from Doofenshmirtz about ‘adulting’, and the humour is still smart and on point, although Buford does tend to get some of the funnier lines in my opinion. And when Buford gets ridiculed for bringing a canoe with him on their trip to the alien planet, and Doofenshmirtz gets laughed at for inventing something as stupid as a “Chicken Replace-inator” – basically a gun which swaps whatever you fire at with the nearest chicken – you just know they’re working on delivering us some great gags later on throughout the movie. And obviously, Perry the Platypus gets to save the day as usual, and without anyone even realising it. It’s like being back in the company of old friends. Fingers crossed that this isn’t the last we see of Phineas, Ferb and the gang.
Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018) in Movies
Jun 10, 2019
Absolutely Bonkers
2013’s Pacific Rim was one of the most underrated films of the year. Lumbered in the same category as the Transformers series for its seemingly simple premise about robots fighting giant monsters, it had a lukewarm performance at the box office.
For those movie buffs reading this, you’ll of course know the film was directed by the Oscar-winning Guillermo Del Toro and with that came his signature quirks and visual sense of style. Oh yes, Pacific Rim was much more than a mish-mash of action.
A sequel looked very unlikely given the mediocre reception it received and then Del Toro passed on the idea altogether, instead focusing on the film that earned him a Best Director award at this year’s Oscars, The Shape of Water. I’m not going to pretend that was the wrong decision because it clearly wasn’t.
Nevertheless, Universal and Legendary pictures, with help from Del Toro handpicked little-known director Steven S. DeKnight to helm this second instalment in the new series, Pacific Rim: Uprising. It’s taken five years and $150million to get here. Was it worth it?
Jake Pentecost (John Boyega) is a once-promising Jaeger pilot whose legendary father gave his life to secure humanity’s victory against the monstrous Kaiju. Jake has since abandoned his training only to become caught up in a criminal underworld. But when an even more unstoppable threat is unleashed to tear through cities and bring the world to its knees, Jake is given one last chance by his estranged sister, Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), to live up to his father’s legacy.
Coming hot off the heels of his performance in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, John Boyega channels his franchise father, Idris Elba, reasonably well and his estranged relationship with the former jaeger pilot is discussed, albeit briefly. Boyega is still discovering himself as a leading star and it’s films like Pacific Rim and Star Wars that he continues to impress in.
Here, he plays a cocky, arrogant young man who has lost his way until he’s given a second chance by returnee Mako (Kikuchi). It’s nice to see her and both Charlie Day’s Newton Geiszler and Burn Gorman’s Hermann Gottlieb return to this new series.
The inclusion of the film’s previous stars doesn’t feel unnecessarily shoe-horned in and this is a welcome change to many other films that try the same trick. Gorman and Day in particular provide some decent comic relief throughout. The weakest link over the course of the film is Scott Eastwood’s Ranger Lambert. His forced backstory with Boyega’s Pentecost isn’t particularly engaging.
The finale is punch-the-air fun and beautifully filmed in and around Tokyo
Setting the action a decade after the events of the first film is a good way to freshen things up and Uprising feels all the better for it. The world is continuing to recover from the previous war and this change in atmosphere lends a new dynamic to the film. It certainly looks and sounds a lot like its predecessor, but Uprising is a very different beast, both in storytelling and the way it presents that story.
Where Pacific Rimwas a paint-by-numbers adventure transformed by Del Toro’s stunning visual acuity, Uprising is a well-plotted movie that lacks its previous director’s soft touch. Director Steven S. DeKnight rightly carves his own path with the visuals but sometimes this is at the cost of the charm that made the original such an unexpected delight. The plot is actually much better than that of its predecessor with numerous twists and turns that create a fun atmosphere for the audience, but with four writers working on it, you’d expect nothing less.
There are some Del-Toro-isms still present however and these remind us that this is very much more than a Michael Bay Transformers film. The special effects are excellent and with De Knight’s decision to film as much as possible during the day (a stark contrast to Del Toro) there really is nowhere to hide. The jaegers and Kaiju are all as detailed as you would expect from a movie costing $150million.
At 111 minutes, Pacific Rim: Uprising zips along briskly and rarely leaves you wanting. The finale is punch-the-air fun and beautifully filmed in and around Tokyo. It may be a cynical marketing ploy to set portions of the film in Japan and China in order to appease international audiences, but it does lend itself to some lovely scenery.
Overall, Pacific Rim: Uprising is a film that manages to build upon its predecessor’s strong foundations, yet still manages to feel very much part of its universe. Sequels, especially to films that don’t perform well are risky business as movie studios try to save as much cash as possible, but thankfully Uprising is a fully-realised and confidently filmed second instalment. It’s loud, brash and completely unashamed of what it tries to be, but sometimes that’s all you want from a visit to the cinema. Call it Classy Transformers and you won’t be far from spot on.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2018/03/24/pacific-rim-uprising-absolutely-bonkers/
For those movie buffs reading this, you’ll of course know the film was directed by the Oscar-winning Guillermo Del Toro and with that came his signature quirks and visual sense of style. Oh yes, Pacific Rim was much more than a mish-mash of action.
A sequel looked very unlikely given the mediocre reception it received and then Del Toro passed on the idea altogether, instead focusing on the film that earned him a Best Director award at this year’s Oscars, The Shape of Water. I’m not going to pretend that was the wrong decision because it clearly wasn’t.
Nevertheless, Universal and Legendary pictures, with help from Del Toro handpicked little-known director Steven S. DeKnight to helm this second instalment in the new series, Pacific Rim: Uprising. It’s taken five years and $150million to get here. Was it worth it?
Jake Pentecost (John Boyega) is a once-promising Jaeger pilot whose legendary father gave his life to secure humanity’s victory against the monstrous Kaiju. Jake has since abandoned his training only to become caught up in a criminal underworld. But when an even more unstoppable threat is unleashed to tear through cities and bring the world to its knees, Jake is given one last chance by his estranged sister, Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), to live up to his father’s legacy.
Coming hot off the heels of his performance in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, John Boyega channels his franchise father, Idris Elba, reasonably well and his estranged relationship with the former jaeger pilot is discussed, albeit briefly. Boyega is still discovering himself as a leading star and it’s films like Pacific Rim and Star Wars that he continues to impress in.
Here, he plays a cocky, arrogant young man who has lost his way until he’s given a second chance by returnee Mako (Kikuchi). It’s nice to see her and both Charlie Day’s Newton Geiszler and Burn Gorman’s Hermann Gottlieb return to this new series.
The inclusion of the film’s previous stars doesn’t feel unnecessarily shoe-horned in and this is a welcome change to many other films that try the same trick. Gorman and Day in particular provide some decent comic relief throughout. The weakest link over the course of the film is Scott Eastwood’s Ranger Lambert. His forced backstory with Boyega’s Pentecost isn’t particularly engaging.
The finale is punch-the-air fun and beautifully filmed in and around Tokyo
Setting the action a decade after the events of the first film is a good way to freshen things up and Uprising feels all the better for it. The world is continuing to recover from the previous war and this change in atmosphere lends a new dynamic to the film. It certainly looks and sounds a lot like its predecessor, but Uprising is a very different beast, both in storytelling and the way it presents that story.
Where Pacific Rimwas a paint-by-numbers adventure transformed by Del Toro’s stunning visual acuity, Uprising is a well-plotted movie that lacks its previous director’s soft touch. Director Steven S. DeKnight rightly carves his own path with the visuals but sometimes this is at the cost of the charm that made the original such an unexpected delight. The plot is actually much better than that of its predecessor with numerous twists and turns that create a fun atmosphere for the audience, but with four writers working on it, you’d expect nothing less.
There are some Del-Toro-isms still present however and these remind us that this is very much more than a Michael Bay Transformers film. The special effects are excellent and with De Knight’s decision to film as much as possible during the day (a stark contrast to Del Toro) there really is nowhere to hide. The jaegers and Kaiju are all as detailed as you would expect from a movie costing $150million.
At 111 minutes, Pacific Rim: Uprising zips along briskly and rarely leaves you wanting. The finale is punch-the-air fun and beautifully filmed in and around Tokyo. It may be a cynical marketing ploy to set portions of the film in Japan and China in order to appease international audiences, but it does lend itself to some lovely scenery.
Overall, Pacific Rim: Uprising is a film that manages to build upon its predecessor’s strong foundations, yet still manages to feel very much part of its universe. Sequels, especially to films that don’t perform well are risky business as movie studios try to save as much cash as possible, but thankfully Uprising is a fully-realised and confidently filmed second instalment. It’s loud, brash and completely unashamed of what it tries to be, but sometimes that’s all you want from a visit to the cinema. Call it Classy Transformers and you won’t be far from spot on.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2018/03/24/pacific-rim-uprising-absolutely-bonkers/