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Swingers (1996)
Swingers (1996)
1996 | Comedy, Drama
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Verdict: Reality Check Comedy

Story: Swingers starts when two friends Trent (Vaughn) and Mike (Favreau) head from LA to Las Vegas for a night to try and help Mike shake off his breakup with his girlfriend. Trent does have a way with women, which he is trying to teach Mike for their return to LA. Joined with Rob (Livingston) the three struggling actors talk shop about how they haven’t gotten their big break yet.
We continue to follow the friends around the town as they try to help Mike rebound from his breakup, pushing him to take risks, despite the group of aspiring actors just going through the same routine, not partying till late and Mike wanting to get back together with his ex.

Thoughts on Swingers

Characters – Mike is one of the aspiring actors, he has had the most gigs of the rest of the friends, he is struggling with a break up which has been holding him back for 6 months and now, the friends are trying to help him break out of his shell, as he always ends up getting nervous about everything whenever he is put on the spot. Trent is the confident ladies man, he is always trying to teach Mike about how to pick up women, showing his confidence through any chatting up situation. Rob is the friend that followed Mike, he looks up to him and wants to follow in his footsteps despite the constant job rejections. Sue is another one of the group, he has a different attitude which could see them getting into trouble. Between the three of them of the friends they all want to help Mike in their own way.
Performances – Jon Favreau as the down on his luck actor is great to watch in this role, he makes us understand why he feels life isn’t going his way. Vince Vaughn brings all the energy to his role, showing that he was always going to be great to watch in the fast-talking roles. Ron Livingston bring gravity to his role, showing a man with his feet on the ground, while Patrick Van Horn brings a mix of the three while not knowing his own motivation.
Story – The story here follows four struggling actors as they look for women every night which sees them trying to help one of them get over their blues of a breakup, each has their own style which they try to imprint on the others. This story mixes up the styles of helping a friend with a breakup and highlights how difficult it is to make it as an actor in Hollywood. We might spend a lot of time just watching the guys party, which is mean to highlight their struggles and watching them all give advice to Mike shows that friends will always be there for you, but you will need to make the biggest step in changing your future.
Comedy – The comedy in the film comes from the mishaps that happen to the guys on their adventures through the night showing how not every plan is as well exercised as the next.
Settings – The film is mostly set in LA, it shows the bars that people would go to hoping for a late night party, the ones that only the locals would truly know about.

Scene of the Movie – The awkward phone, mainly because it is and can be so real for people.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – It doesn’t show any of their acting lives.
Final Thoughts – This is a comedy that shows the struggles being an actor really are, while also trying to highlight the party lifestyle people in LA like.

Overall: Strong Look at Hollywood Lifestyle.
  
S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale (2009)
S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale (2009)
2009 | Drama, Mystery, Sci-Fi
3
3.8 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Verdict: Pointless Sequel

Story: S. Darko starts seven years after the events of Donnie Darko, Samantha (Chase) his little sister has grown up to become a lost soul in the world, drifting with Corey (Evigan), still struggling with the grief of what happened to her brother’s unsolved death. The two women find themselves in a small country town while their car is getting fix.
As the two spend the time in the town, they learn about the secrets, including the estranged war veteran known as Iraq Jack (Lafferty) who is considered a danger in the local area, though he starts getting visits from Samantha talking about the end, will the rest of the town’s secrets get revealed.

Thoughts on S. Darko

Characters – Samantha is the younger sister of Donnie Darko, she has seen her family destroyed by what happened to him, seeing her left alone in the world, drifting with her friend, she has always been spaced out, but now she starts to experience the same visions that Donnie once did, sleepwalking and visiting people with warnings of an impending doom coming to this town. This is a strange twist for the character that starts of shier and more innocent, but soon is trying to find the truth about her own visions. Corey is the confident of the two friends, she likes to party and flirt, which has seen her getting tired of Samantha’s awkwardness. Iraq Jack is a war veteran that has been branded a creep in the town, the police are just waiting to blame him for any crime to get rid of him, but he has a story to tell, one that Samantha can connect too. Randy is the local bad boy that befriends the two girls, he has lost his brother and this has turned him to drink for comfort, while he battles his own demons once the girls arrive in the town.
Performances – Daveigh Chase is the only actors to return to the franchise, she doesn’t give us a bad performance, she does look like the innocent lost soul she is meant to be playing. Briana Evigan as the confident flirty best friend is strong through the film, while the rest of the cast really do what they can with the material, this isn’t one that the actors should be criticised for.
Story – The story here follows the sister of Donnie Darko as she discovers that she has her own journey with the time travelling universe saving rabbit figure that is desperately trying to put the warning out there to this small town. Well that is about as much as I could figure out, much like Donnie Darko, we do get a town filled with secrets that the time travelling is meant to expose or save, but we just try to get an overly diluted version of the genius of the original story. The idea that somebody in this town has their own bunny mask confuses more than anything and by the end you will be left wondering what the point in the story here was, the sequel ideas never seem to understand the uniqueness of the original, losing the direction it is trying to show.
Mystery/Sci-Fi – The mystery in this film comes what is going on, though it doesn’t even feel solved by the conclusion of the film, while the sci-fi side of the film follows the idea of time travel.
Settings – The film is set in a small town which does have a few secrets that people want to keep secret, but are about to be exposed.
Special Effects – The effects are fine they have the keep the goo water trail that we had in the first film.

Scene of the Movie – Umm, pass.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – So many plot holes.
Final Thoughts – This is a sequel that just seems to become pointless, he doesn’t dig any deeper and only confuses the timeline with plot holes everywhere.

Overall: Hopeless Sequel.
  
Barton Fink (1991)
Barton Fink (1991)
1991 | Comedy, Drama
Verdict: Coen’s at Their Best

Story: Barton Fink starts as New York playwright Barton Fink (Turturro) whose latest play has seen him get the most praise. Barton gets encouraged to head to California to write movies, which would cover him for years to come on the stages of New York. Barton put up in a small hotel, gets given his first assignment, a wrestling picture, something he knows nothing about.
Barton bonds with his insurance salesman neighbour Charlie Meadows (Goodman) who always seems to have inspiration for this story, while meeting authors he idolises, waiting for his big break in the industry, meeting different producers who shows him the hellish process Hollywood can be.

Thoughts on Barton Fink

Characters – Barton Fink is the latest praised playwright in New York, he knows he can be a success on the stage only he gets encouraged to head to the Hollywood boom to make serious money with his writing skills. Barton learns quickly that he isn’t prepared for the demands of writing script especially when he doesn’t know the material they want him to write about, he struggles to settle in the area and the cheap hotel they put him up in, he only makes one friend and sees how the people in the industry always say what you want to say. Charlie Meadows is the hotel neighbour and insurance salesman that befriends Barton, the two often spend the nights talking about life’s events, while Charlie pushes Barton to become more confident. Audrey Taylor is the wife of one of the most famous authors Barton meets, he wants to use her as his muse after seeing how badly she is abused by her partner. Jack Lipnick is the producer that hires Barton, he demands the work and unlike most writers that he hires, he keeps up on Barton’s work.
Performances – John Turturro in the leading role is excellent, we can see him unravelling at the seams as he starts to lose his mind in the writing process. John Goodman is wonderful too as the friendly neighbour with a secret behind his kind-nature. When it comes to the rest of the cast we get some wonderful performance that send us into the era perfectly.
Story – The story here sees a playwright trying his hand at writing movies in the booming industry, only to learn the level of control he really has on what he write and how much time he has to get the work done. This is a story about the movie making process, while we focus more on the writing side of the filmmaking, it is focused on how being locked away in a new city can drive somebody slightly crazy. It is the story arcs that happen around the writing which become most interesting as we see just how things are never quite as they seem, this is Coen Brothers are their best, spinning what could be a routine story that sees things turned on their head.
Comedy – The comedy is the black comedy type, where we see just how twisted the comedy ends up being, with John Goodman getting most of the laughs in the film.
Settings – The LA setting shows what it would have been like in the early stages of the Hollywood boom, the era feels nature through the film.

Scene of the Movie – Flaming hallways.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – The cops are too accusation heavy.
Final Thoughts – This is a dark comedy that works very well, it hits the heights every time it needs to thanks to the leading performances from Turturro and Goodman that are outstanding through the film.

Overall: Brilliant Comedy.
  
TC
The Corridor (The Corridor Duology, #1)
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
<b><i>I received this book for free from Publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.</i></b>
It seems, that <b>books relating to parallel universes are like mermaid books and contemporary books</b>: I either get along with them, or I don't get along with them.

It's no brainer that <b>a book involving parallel universes as <i><a title="A Thousand Pieces of You by Claudia Gray" href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/audiobook-review-a-thousand-pieces-of-you-by-claudia-gray/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">A Thousand Pieces of You</a></i> and <i>The Corridor</i> have would be extremely scientific in its explanation</b>. An information dump is (or maybe just a dumbing down of information) bound to happen if the authors want me to make sense of their parallel universes.

But somehow, <b>I enjoyed a story concocted by A.N. Willis far more than a story concocted by Claudia Gray</b> (parallel universes related – I DO like Claudia Gray's other works), even if my first thoughts reading the first chapter was, "Oh, no. Parallel universes. Please don't disappoint me, A.N. Willis."

I find that I'm actually not disappointed – I really enjoyed the first book in the <i>Corridor</i> series, and <b>I was pretty engrossed with Willis' writing. I wanted to know more than what the author actually wrote</b> – Estele's power, Dr. Taber's betrayal years ago. <b>I even found myself interested in the science of the universes that the scientists were seeing and the different "Earths" Estele visits using her power.</b> And I am not generally a science person, regardless of the fact I think Chemistry is easy and passed it with a fabulous A-.

(Maybe I'm a chemistry kid rather than a physical science or biology kid. I guess I can't run away from math after all. What if I'm an accountant one day?!?!?! I won't complain, of course, since it's baby math...)

<b>There were moments that I found myself confused on which Earth the characters were talking about – each world has different names for each of the other Earth</b>. The original Earth simply went with First Earth, Second Earth, and possibly so and so forth if they found any more. Estele went with calling First Earth and Second Earth whatever the scientists called them, and came up with names that were significant to that Earth when she first visits. Another version of Earth was further advanced and found more twelve Earths in total, and went with the zodiac in naming each of them. I found that <b>while the more advanced Earth was far more complicated, Estele's version seemed to make things a lot more clearer in matching up the Earths.</b>

Possibly <b>the biggest difference between <i>A Thousand Pieces of You</i> and <i>The Corridor</i> was how Marguerite actually uses a device while Estele somehow has a power to travel across worlds.</b> I personally found that really cool and interesting, and as mentioned earlier, I wanted to know more about that power as much as Estele did.

By the time I actually got to the end of the book, I was pretty disappointed... in a good way. I suppose Willis did disappoint me after all. <b>I honestly have no clue where the author is going with the series</b>, but I'm hoping the sequel will be just as good as the first one is.

<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/arc-review-the-corridor-by-an-willis/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
  
GI
Ghosts in the Mirror
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Ghosts in the Mirror pretty much lands on my list of most unique ghost (okay, related to ghosts) reads of all time.

The particular uniqueness of the story? The main character, Jeremy, goes into a coma every time a ghost possesses him due to unfinished business. The only way to "see" the ghost is to use a mirror. To see how a ghost feels depends on the color of Jeremy's vomit. I know, it's really gross, but it's pretty cool.

Except... Jeremy keeps going in and out of sleep. Interesting? Um... no. Not after awhile. Apparently when you're asleep way too much, you don't really accomplish much. Add that to Jeremy as a character, and how this ghost possession thingamajig works. The ghost possession is all very confusing – I don't get this "spirit hand" or "phantom hand." Does Jeremy have a third hand? Is it still his right hand but the ghost possessing him can only "access" his right hand and that's why he calls it a phantom/spirit hand? Is it basically as though he and the ghost are like one spirit? I have some ideas on what it may all mean, but I'm not 100% sure. It all feels very much as though Mangola knows what she's talking about and explains it as much as she can, but has a bit of a hard time getting her point across and clarifying how it all works.
<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NBKk2YUdg_o/U-PQlt7nnrI/AAAAAAAADtc/Z8jqVhV4-uk/s1600/Very+Unclear.gif"; border="0">
Jeremy as a character. He has quite a few moments in the book where I'm wondering if he's 6 years old or 16 years old. I don't really mind it as much since when you're in a coma a lot and suddenly realize you're growing up, you're going to want to retain your kid years as much as possible before having to officially grow up. And time goes by really fast – OMG, I'm almost 17. NOOO.

But he eats soooooo much junk food – candy and lollipops and donuts, oh my! – I pretty much started wondering what would get to him first: the Strigoi, or a heart attack? If it were the latter, I would have been extremely furious because then I would assume the book's point is to tell us not to eat so much junk food or we would all get a heart attack one day (or we'll be in a Wall-E world). I do hate one too many sugar, thank you very much (moi can't handle too much vanilla frosting).

Which pretty much makes me bring up a point about him getting car sick so easily. Cannoli and Lattes? They have dairy products. Cannoli have cream and cheese, lattes have cream – it's the perfect one way trip to Vomit Wonderland (at least one of the ways). Getting a car ride after eating what looks like a gallon of milk and dairy products? Of course the guy's going to throw up all over the place. And if anyone's going to make a point about Jeremy's condition in defense, I get car sick just as easily and I'm technically normal.

Of course, after Jeremy's millions of trips to Vomit Wonderland throughout the book, I'm pretty grossed out. The book doesn't sound as cool as it did in the beginning, but I believe Mangola has not just the bones of a really good book, but the tissues. Or muscles. *sigh* I may have prolonged my trip to the Medical world, but I probably won't get the anatomy of myself – or anyone really – right anytime soon. Certainly no future doctors are going to be impressed by my pitiful attempts.
----------------------
Review copy provided by the author for review
original review posted at <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/08/review-ghosts-in-the-mirror-by-joyce-mangola.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
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Endangered Species Superheroes
Endangered Species Superheroes
Dakota Duncan | 2019 | Children
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
What I liked best about this is that I was surprised to find that it was not Lindsay who had superpowers. The artwork is also bright amd simple enough that I do not think it would distract from the st (0 more)
I didn't really like how the entire thing was so informative that the dialogue felt forced at times. There were multiple times when the flow of the story was disrupted by the addition of extra facts. (0 more)
Honest Review for Free Copy of Book
Endangered Species Superheroes by Dakota Duncan is a graphic novel that was not quite what I was expecting. Going off of the title I was expecting the story to be about a group of people that used abilities of endangered animals to be superheroes. That is not quite what this book actually is about. The actual concept of the book is much more interesting than the classic superhero book.

Lindsay lives with her grandfather who owns The Smiling Sloth Wildlife Sanctuary. Lindsey loves helping out at the sanctuary and has a very close relationship with many of the animals that live there. At the sanctuary she assists in taking care of some of the animals by drawing their blood for tests, feeding them, and checking their vitals. Many of these animals at the sanctuary bave been hurt in some way by human carelessness. Lindsay and the animals at the sanctuary have a secret that doesn't come out until Lindsay is attacked by a thug hired by Mace Zogan.

Mace at one point was working with Lindsay's grandfather at the sanctuary. He was arrested at some point for poisoning a bunch of sloths on purpose. Mace breaks out of jail and decides to get his revenge on Lindsay's grandfather by going after Lindsay herself. Mace kidnaps Lindsay and takes her back to his Lab on an island. Mace admits that her was trying to chemically alter animals at his lab to make them more useful to humans. With some help from a few unlikely sources Lindsay gets rescued and Mace is arrested once again.

This book teaches readers about animals and the problems that humans are causing because of all the pollution and trash that we leave laying. At one point it talks about a beach clean-up and the importance of trying to get more people involved. While the book dose have the classic chemicals
creating superheros and bad guys pretending to be police officers it even offers helpful information during a kidnapping. Lindsay calls her grandfather and keeps her phone safely hidden in her backpack when Mace grabs her so that she is able to tell details about what is going on to her grandfather by talking to Mace.

What I liked best about this is that I was surprised to find that it was not Lindsay who had superpowers. The artwork is also bright amd simple enough that I do not think it would distract from the story yet would still be interesting to young readers. The information packed in this book was both a posititve and a negative for me. I didn't really like how the entire thing was so informative that the dialogue felt forced at times. There were multiple times when the flow of the story was disrupted by the addition of extra facts.

The target readers for this book are school aged children, mainly those in early middle school. Elementary students might enjoy this book as well but I feel like it might actually be a bit too long to hold the attention of younger elementary students. I rate this book 2 out of 4 because it felt a little too boring for a children's book with how informative the story was. At the same time some children tend to be very interested in anything that has to so with animals so it might be more interesting than I give it credit for.


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Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
SOME of the effects. (0 more)
MOST of everything else. (0 more)
No Actors Required
Contains spoilers, click to show
I have a theory about movies that are 100% CGI; when someone isn’t a great actor and they are required only to supply a voice and they still aren’t very good, it really stands out.
Now, imagine you’re watching a film. I don’t know, maybe a bit creature epic, larger than life with whole cities being destroyed. The creature’s look amazing and the carnage they are wreaking is fabulous; buildings, helicopters, cars, all flying around the screen with a swish of a mighty reptilian tale. Now imagine that the actors, real people, not CGI, are, at best, bland and in some instances just outright terrible.
Annoying isn’t it?
It would lead one to believe that the film makers didn’t really put any stock in the human interactions, rather just gave a huge wad of cash to an SFX company and said, “Fill your boots, the more the merrier, make everything f---ing enormous!”
Godzilla (2014) was the second time Hollywood has attempted to make a film featuring Japan’s kaiju supremo and it was the first successful attempt from Hollywood, given that the 1998 Roland Emmerich attempt was basically Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) but with added daddy issues (Roland Emmerich’s trademark).
Gareth Edwards 2014 first entry in the MonsterVerse was a huge success, financially and artistically. We saw a Godzilla that was of a scale we’d always wanted, towering over buildings, a reptilian God and we’re just the ants trying to not get squished.
Godzilla: King of Monsters attempts to up the ante by throwing a dozen or so monsters at the story. “Godzilla fought two MUTO’s did he, well… hold my beer!” Yeah, we’ll hold your beer while you get Millie Bobby Brown to stand there teary eyed for most of the film (a waste), Vera Farmiga to go from bereaved workaholic, to eco-terrorist to pointless self-sacrifice (unfathomable), and for Kyle Chandler to… well, Christ knows what Kyle Chandler was doing, apart from spitting terrible dialogue badly and then standing/sitting/walking looking angry but unconvincingly. Bradley Whitford provided some nice comic relief, he does droll sarcasm immensely well, Charles Dance is underused (and then forgotten about) and Zhang Ziyi tries to out-Kyle-Chandler Kyle Chandler in the bland, borderline useless stakes.
Worse than any failing on the human emotion side of the story are the huge liberties they take with global travel, like, one of side of the world to the other in a very short space of time. I mean Godzilla can do it because of some tunnels under the sea that he uses, possible the ones used in the science-denying sci-fi car crash abomination The Core (2003), but for the humans to just pop to Venezuela or the Antarctic is unforgivable.
This kind of leaps of reality always leads me to lose interest in the events in a film and start thinking around the script. In a film where everything everyone says is of dire emergency or import and then we see them in another part of the world some time later, what have they been talking about for all that time. Have they been napping? If so, it’s hasn’t eased any of the pointless angry posturing. Have they been chatting about boring everyday stuff? There is no hint of a relationship between any of these people who are spending potentially their last moments on earth together with alarming regularity. The world is possible about to get destroyed and you are in direct harm’s way! Shut up and nut up.
  
40x40

Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated No Time To Die by Billie Eilish in Music

Mar 3, 2020 (Updated Aug 6, 2020)  
No Time To Die by Billie Eilish
No Time To Die by Billie Eilish
2020
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Album Rating
Congratulations to The Wasteland’s favourite new artist for sweeping 5 awards at yesterday’s Grammy’s. I hate to say I told you so, but I kinda did, a long way out. It just makes sense to me, that if you have a musical ear, this is the best pop music that has been made for 20 years.

Best new artist, best song (Bad Guy), record of the year, best pop vocal album of the year, and the cherry, best album of the year, for the extraordinary When We All Fall Asleep Where Do We Go. Oh, and her brother won one for best producer… so, not a terrible night out!

Not only is she now the youngest person ever to win a Grammy, beating Taylor Swift to that, mostly meaningless, accolade, but more significantly she is the the first artist to sweep the big 4 awards since Christopher Cross in 1981. That is 39 years ago!

From the few acceptance clips I have seen, you can see how genuinely stunned and thrilled she is to win, which is refreshing after a generation of too cool for school egos that were more persona than person, often holding their emotions in check for the sake of image.

I think there is a long, long way to go before talking about Billie Eilish as a great artist – she has to keep it up! But, for sure the music industry wants to make a point that this is the real deal, and have paved the path for an unlimited potential. What these awards do, is create the stamp on her being a superstar. What she and Finneas do with that now is up to them. I have a feeling they are not going to blow it; it just doesn’t feel like this story ends badly.

Billie’s Bond Theme
In the interest of this blog not turning into the Billie Eilish appreciation society, I am adding on my thoughts about the new release of her theme tune for the new 007 movie, No Time To Die. We all have a favourite Bond song from the years past, so how does this one size up?

Working in conjunction with Oscar winning composer, Hans Zimmer can’t be all bad when you just turned 18, and it certainly helps with this sombre, slow building song, utilising full orchestra and a bundle of small motifs that make it seem 100% Bond. Make no mistake, it is a Billie Eilish song, her moody vibe is all over it, but I love how faithful to the brand she has been, avoiding the temptation to do something too weird with the gig.

The first time I heard it was enough for me to be able to say “cast-iron hit!” And I haven’t changed my mind 20 listens later. It is just mind-blowing how the ball of success keeps rolling for her and Finneas. Having the honour of singing the in memoriam song at the Academy awards, with an emotional rendition of the Beatles’ Yesterday would be enough attention for one week for any ordinary superstar, but no, here’s the best Bond theme for 20 years for you too! Astonishing.

It even has folk that were a bit cautious at first saying, actually that is a great tune. Just yesterday I was listening to a radio interview where Billie talked about how she gets fan mail from all demographics, including 80 year old grandfathers! I find that not only reassuring, but apt. This is an artist of universal appeal wrapped up in the media hype of a teenage pop-idol, but doing a great job of denying that narrow image and idea.

What can I say? Just carry on, Billie. It’s going quite well!
  
Parker (2013)
Parker (2013)
2013 | Mystery
So I, being the girl that I am, wasn’t exactly keyed up to go and see a “shoot-em up” style action flick — you know, the kind that Jason Statham excels at? My boyfriend, however, is like most red-blooded men and found this movie right up his alley. Perhaps it was due to the fact I “owed” him from cashing in my chick-flick points and making him watch “the Painted Veil” with me the other day; perhaps it was because my choice of Redbox rentals had been rather lackluster in comparison. Either way, he was looking forward the the prospect of this movie review far more than I.

“Parker” starts off in Ohio where Jason Statham’s character (Parker) is working a job with four other men. The job seems to go off without a hitch until the end when Parker discovers an innocent man died in the process, thus starting “beef” between he and one of his partners. The apparent boss of the crooks then asks Parker to join them in another job, requiring him to give up his share of the loot to contribute to the upcoming job. Parker politely declines and, of course, this doesn’t sit too well with the crooks. As predicted, they then turn on him and Parker is left for dead on the side of the road.

As we know, Jason Statham’s characters are indestructible. I mean, this was covered in both “Crank” movies so the audience should be well-versed in how this goes down, right? Of course, Parker survives and thus starts on a path of revenge. Mob bosses are involved, hits are put out, etc. Regardless, his journey takes him to Palm Springs where the four crooks who betrayed him are preparing for their next big job.

Now, you’re probably wondering where Jennifer Lopez is in all of this (yes, JLo has a part in this movie – I know, I feel your pain too). Given that her last decent flick was “the Cell” and “Selena,” I wasn’t expecting too much from her character. As Parker is making his way down to Palm Springs, the movie then focuses on JLo’s character, a depressed and rather broken divorcee living with her mother and desperate for a commission from her job as a real-estate agent. Cue in Parker, dressed as a wealthy Texan, and looking to buy a home in Palm Springs. Of course we see JLo checking him out and basically throwing herself at him because, well, that’s what all us desperate women do, right? We throw ourselves at rich men when times are hard without taking much else into consideration (like, say the cop – who comes across as a decent guy – who wants nothing else but to date her. But hey, he’s not Jason Statham, right? Pfft!). Regardless, JLo finds a way to weasel herself into helping Parker’s character and thwarting the four thieves who betrayed Parker. Luckily for all of us, JLo advances are shut down and we don’t have to fall witness to another “Gigli”.

Is the movie some amazing cinematic masterpiece? Absolutely not. Are Parker’s flashbacks cheesy and annoying? Of course. But we are talking about an action flick and one that doesn’t disappoint in lots of blood, gun fights, knifing action, and Jason Statham being an overall badass.

Will your girlfriend love this movie? Probably not. Will you, you red-blooded hunk of testosterone, love this movie? Probably. It is, after all, geared towards your sex. And, just in case the blood and fights don’t do it for you, there are more than enough exposed breasts throughout the film keep your interest piqued.

So if you’re looking for a good revenge-style action flick, this one is decent enough. It won’t win any awards, but it won’t leave your poor girlfriend screaming for the hills either. JLo’s performance, however, that’s just inexcusible….