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Fred (860 KP) rated Mother! (2017) in Movies
Jul 10, 2019
What the hell did I just watch?
Contains spoilers, click to show
Okay, so normally as soon as I watch a film, I review it. That keeps my initial thoughts fresh. But with "Mother", I just couldn't. Because I don't know what the hell I just watched. It was only at the very end, when I realized Javier Bardem was God, that I knew I had to think back & figure out what this mess was about. And so, I slept on it. And here's the way I see it.
Bardem is God, Jennifer Lawrence is Mother Earth, Ed Harris is Adam, Michelle Pfeiffer is Eve. Their sons are of course, Cain & Able & everyone else is the human race. So, now it clicks and I understand what the movie is about. It's a great premise. However, it's a terrible movie.
Let's start with the acting. It is terrible. Normally greats like Lawrence, Harris & Bardem would light up the screen, but here they come across as over-the-top novice actors. I blame the dialogue & the direction, of course. At no point during the film did I feel that any of the actors were even acting. This brings me to the next point.
No one in the film acts like they should act. Now, I get that they are playing people who are the interpretation of biblical beings. But come on. These people barge in to your home and you're like "Can you please...." and "Go downstairs..." when it should be "Get the f*ck out of my house!!!" Perhaps if I knew the meaning before I watched the movie, I would have picked up on the way they were acting in these situations, but even now knowing, I find it so goddamn annoying. That may be the one word that best describes this movie. Annoying. When you want to scream at the screen to tell people how to act in a situation, it's just annoying. There's nothing worse than a movie where someone is treated like shit & they don't do anything about it. That's the entire movie.
Sure, you can sit back & think that people are over-populating the Earth. And that God is super-interested in being worshipped and some people are trying to help the Earth, while others treat it like garbage. Blah blah blah. The movie is still not a good movie. The idea is great & should have made for a great movie, but it's execution is terrible. I would actually think about watching it again, knowing what I know now, but thinking about how bad the movie is, I doubt that would happen. This would probably have been better as a book. I'm giving it 4 points for the idea, but 0 extra points for the movie.
Bardem is God, Jennifer Lawrence is Mother Earth, Ed Harris is Adam, Michelle Pfeiffer is Eve. Their sons are of course, Cain & Able & everyone else is the human race. So, now it clicks and I understand what the movie is about. It's a great premise. However, it's a terrible movie.
Let's start with the acting. It is terrible. Normally greats like Lawrence, Harris & Bardem would light up the screen, but here they come across as over-the-top novice actors. I blame the dialogue & the direction, of course. At no point during the film did I feel that any of the actors were even acting. This brings me to the next point.
No one in the film acts like they should act. Now, I get that they are playing people who are the interpretation of biblical beings. But come on. These people barge in to your home and you're like "Can you please...." and "Go downstairs..." when it should be "Get the f*ck out of my house!!!" Perhaps if I knew the meaning before I watched the movie, I would have picked up on the way they were acting in these situations, but even now knowing, I find it so goddamn annoying. That may be the one word that best describes this movie. Annoying. When you want to scream at the screen to tell people how to act in a situation, it's just annoying. There's nothing worse than a movie where someone is treated like shit & they don't do anything about it. That's the entire movie.
Sure, you can sit back & think that people are over-populating the Earth. And that God is super-interested in being worshipped and some people are trying to help the Earth, while others treat it like garbage. Blah blah blah. The movie is still not a good movie. The idea is great & should have made for a great movie, but it's execution is terrible. I would actually think about watching it again, knowing what I know now, but thinking about how bad the movie is, I doubt that would happen. This would probably have been better as a book. I'm giving it 4 points for the idea, but 0 extra points for the movie.
Sarah (7800 KP) rated Mama (2013) in Movies
Apr 15, 2018
I thought I'd heard a lot of good things about this film, but watching it recently, I must have been horribly mistaken.
This is a poor excuse for a horror film. The plot is ridiculously weak and silly and it's this way right from the very opening scene. I do think Jessica Chastain is a good actress, but not in this. She isn't given a massive amount to work with and does badly with what she does have. The CGI is very poor for the most part and is often laughably bad, and the scares are just predictable. What really killed this film for me though is Mama herself. She isn't in the slightest bit scary or creepy, and instead looks that odd and weird that she's actually quite funny. She just looks terrible, and it kinda kills a horror film when the main terror is laughable.
This is a poor excuse for a horror film. The plot is ridiculously weak and silly and it's this way right from the very opening scene. I do think Jessica Chastain is a good actress, but not in this. She isn't given a massive amount to work with and does badly with what she does have. The CGI is very poor for the most part and is often laughably bad, and the scares are just predictable. What really killed this film for me though is Mama herself. She isn't in the slightest bit scary or creepy, and instead looks that odd and weird that she's actually quite funny. She just looks terrible, and it kinda kills a horror film when the main terror is laughable.
Madbatdan82 (341 KP) rated Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018) in Movies
Mar 2, 2019
Slaughterhouse Doesn't Rule!
This really pains me to write this as I LOVE Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Ever since Spaced and Big Train I've loved everything they've done...until now. This black comedy has no laughs! The attempted 'comedy' in this is 'theyre posh' and have funny voices. It really does fall flat at every turn. The characters don't really develop and the creature designs are terrible. It would get a 3/10 but I gave it an extra mark for some good gore but all in all this is a shame and such a massive waste of Pegg, Frost and the (normally) excellent Michael Sheen who again is used for laughs by having a posh voice! Such a shame...I need to go watch Shaun of the Dead to get the bad taste out of my mouth.
Madbatdan82 (341 KP) rated The Umbrella Academy in TV
Mar 4, 2019
Superheroes, time travel, doughnuts and talking chimps
Contains spoilers, click to show
Another day another superhero tv show - right?? Well this one is really something special. Was hooked from episode 1. The best way I can describe it is a not as dark watchmen tv series. Bunch of kids with powers adopted by man who turns them into a superhero team. Years later they reunite when their 'father' dies. Then happens time travel, drugs, assassins, talking chimps, bird watching, robots, JFK conspiracies, the apocalypse and doughnuts! Like watchmen this has an amazing soundtrack which adds to the quality of the show. This would get 10 out of 10 but I just find Ellen Page terrible and every scene with her just made me cringe so (SPOILER) when she turns out to be the villain (sort of) I was quite pleased!! Watch this show!!!
Billie Wichkan (118 KP) rated The Curse: A Post-Apocalyptic Thriller in Books
Mar 15, 2019
Who Can Defy The Curse?It's been thirty years since the End War destroyed civilization as we know it.
Now a terrible curse hangs over the survivors, one that's pushing them towards a slow and painful extinction.
Unless...
A group of women, known as 'The Complex', have banded together to rebuild and survive in the heart of New York.
Despite the odds, these women aren't going down without a fight. Organized and resourceful, they've set out to rebuild the human race no matter what the cost.
But can it be done?
Can anyone defy the curse?
This was quite a surprise story. This was a story of post apocalyptic New York. We have some great characters and the description of life afterwards was very believable.
This is a great plot and different take on this subject. Lots of twists and surprises here and looking forward to reading more,
Now a terrible curse hangs over the survivors, one that's pushing them towards a slow and painful extinction.
Unless...
A group of women, known as 'The Complex', have banded together to rebuild and survive in the heart of New York.
Despite the odds, these women aren't going down without a fight. Organized and resourceful, they've set out to rebuild the human race no matter what the cost.
But can it be done?
Can anyone defy the curse?
This was quite a surprise story. This was a story of post apocalyptic New York. We have some great characters and the description of life afterwards was very believable.
This is a great plot and different take on this subject. Lots of twists and surprises here and looking forward to reading more,
SquidGirl (13 KP) rated Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016) in Movies
Mar 18, 2019
Worst Film Ever
Contains spoilers, click to show
Okay so first, we'll talk about the characters and their ages.
Some of them were too young, like Bronwyn for example, she was younger than what she should've been, same with "Emma" but the opposite way around.
Then we'll talk about Olive and Emma, they changed their characters around from the books "Emma" is actually the girl who controls fire and is the main romantic interested and "Olive" is supposed to be the floaty girl who is meant to be a young kid.
They totally boffed the ending and the only good thing was the Skeleton part by Enoch, but Enoch isn't that powerful and works with recently dead things that has flesh, not Skeletons that have been dead for many many years.
Just a bad movie and the acting was terrible and stiff considering its Asa Butterfield
Some of them were too young, like Bronwyn for example, she was younger than what she should've been, same with "Emma" but the opposite way around.
Then we'll talk about Olive and Emma, they changed their characters around from the books "Emma" is actually the girl who controls fire and is the main romantic interested and "Olive" is supposed to be the floaty girl who is meant to be a young kid.
They totally boffed the ending and the only good thing was the Skeleton part by Enoch, but Enoch isn't that powerful and works with recently dead things that has flesh, not Skeletons that have been dead for many many years.
Just a bad movie and the acting was terrible and stiff considering its Asa Butterfield
Sarah (7800 KP) rated The Dirt (2019) in Movies
Mar 30, 2019
A little fluffy
I can't claim to know much about Motley Crue, however this film version of their best selling book just seems a little too fluffy and light. It seems to gloss over or make fun of some of their exploits and doesn't seem to want to be as hard hitting as it could be. Yes it does show some more serious moments, but it altogether just feels like it's trying to be a bit silly and entertaining.
Some of this works, like the talking directly to the camera, but most of it just feels a little lame and cheesy. The cast are alright but nothing special, and I think Iwan Rheon is a much better actor than the small part he had.
Overall this wasn't terrible but it wasn't good either, it just seemed like a poor imitation and copy of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some of this works, like the talking directly to the camera, but most of it just feels a little lame and cheesy. The cast are alright but nothing special, and I think Iwan Rheon is a much better actor than the small part he had.
Overall this wasn't terrible but it wasn't good either, it just seemed like a poor imitation and copy of Bohemian Rhapsody.
ArecRain (8 KP) rated Roped Heat in Books
Jan 18, 2018
What in the world is this? I seriously felt like I have just read a really bad fanfiction. Everything about this book is just so terrible.
Plot? What plot? Oh, you mean the little mention of a plot that makes it okay to chase her and make her his sex slave. Please dont make me gag. What little writing didnt involve them screwing each others brains out even though they are enemies, was dedicated to formulating a historical world filled with monsters and motorcycles? At least, that is what I guess Tareks mode of transportation was. The fact that I couldnt get past how lame the story as a whole was didnt motivate me to understand what things like that were. If Harper wanted to create a historical world, she should have done her homework instead of spewing this word vomit.
Plot? What plot? Oh, you mean the little mention of a plot that makes it okay to chase her and make her his sex slave. Please dont make me gag. What little writing didnt involve them screwing each others brains out even though they are enemies, was dedicated to formulating a historical world filled with monsters and motorcycles? At least, that is what I guess Tareks mode of transportation was. The fact that I couldnt get past how lame the story as a whole was didnt motivate me to understand what things like that were. If Harper wanted to create a historical world, she should have done her homework instead of spewing this word vomit.
Awix (3310 KP) rated Casino Royale (2006) in Movies
Feb 21, 2018 (Updated Feb 21, 2018)
Urbane Legend XXI
Bold hard reboot of the Bond series that took it closer to the novels than it had been in generations. Newly-licensed 007 uncovers terrorist financier, beats him at cards, takes a terrible belting in the gentleman's department (emotionally and physically).
Very refreshing (at least at the time) for blowing the barnacles off Bond and going back to source, more or less; Daniel Craig seems to be the first replacement Bond not to on some level be constantly thinking about Sean Connery. Unusually tough and naturalistic, but with the expected (high quality) fights and chases grafted onto Fleming's story. Even at the time one wondered just where this new take on Bond could possibly go next (not terribly far, as it turned out: at least not while staying interesting), but on its own terms this is a thrilling reinvention and a great, credible thriller.
Very refreshing (at least at the time) for blowing the barnacles off Bond and going back to source, more or less; Daniel Craig seems to be the first replacement Bond not to on some level be constantly thinking about Sean Connery. Unusually tough and naturalistic, but with the expected (high quality) fights and chases grafted onto Fleming's story. Even at the time one wondered just where this new take on Bond could possibly go next (not terribly far, as it turned out: at least not while staying interesting), but on its own terms this is a thrilling reinvention and a great, credible thriller.
Bookapotamus (289 KP) rated Aldiko Book Reader in Apps
Jun 4, 2018
Not a Fan
I review a lot of books and a lot of them use this reader. It's terrible! You can't zoom in very much and when it is its just the page, the text doesn't bump, and you can't change the aspect from vertical to horizontal. So the text doesn't get much bigger, and I get a lot of headaches trying to read on this with no options to change font size! It's not seamless across platforms - so I open it on my iPad, it doesn't find where I left off on my iPhone.. so annoying. This one is super glitchy too. It always freezes if i try to log in with FB, and it requires me to log in like 5 times before it actually goes through. Not a fan.
Andy K (10823 KP) Jul 10, 2019
Fred (860 KP) Jul 11, 2019