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Future Imperfect
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IT’S A CHANGED WORLD, and the River Rhone has flooded the town of Arles in France. Helen and Isha...
73 Dove Street
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When Edie Budd arrives at a shabby West London boarding house in October 1958, carrying nothing...
Historical fiction
Thirsty Animals
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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE WATER RUNS OUT? THE WORLD IS RUNNING OUT OF WATER. With supply in the...
The Beholders
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June, 1878. The body of a boy is pulled from the depths of the River Thames, suspected to be the...
Neil Goddard (3 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies
Feb 27, 2020
It all looked soooo promising
Contains spoilers, click to show
Let me say this upfront; David Harbour looks f---ing boss as Hellboy. The makeup is far superior to that of Ron Perlman, not that there was anything wrong with Ron Perlman’s, but with this new incarnation it’s all in the eyes. Deep red, sunken, pained. Sadly, that is all I can say about this movie that is one hundred percent genuinely positive. There are positives however, but they come with a big ‘however’.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.
THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.
THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.
Whatchareadin (174 KP) rated Between The Lies in Books
Apr 10, 2019
Chloe Daniels was in a terrible car accident, but when she wakes up, she has no idea who she is or who the people around her are. Not only has Chloe lost her memory, but she has also lost her son in this terrible accident. With flashes of what could have happened that night, Chloe is determined to find out the truth. But her family keeps filling her head with falsehoods that are hindering her from finding out what is really going on. Still weak from her accident and still unsure which memories are real and which have been implanted, Chloe set out to find out what happened that night and who she was then and who she is today.
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's for the opportunity to read and review this book.
First of all, I don't know what I would do, if I woke up one day and had no idea who I was or who the people around me were. Then to find out that my family had been keeping secrets from me and trying to rewrite my history, that would make me go berserk. But Chloe is able to keep her composure long enough to discover what is really going on.
The book started off a little slow for me, but about half way through the story picked up and I couldn't put it down after that. Lots of ups and downs and twists and turns. When you find out the truth, it's really hard to believe. At first I was sure I knew what was going on, but towards the end, I found out I was very wrong. Chloe remembers nothing, but in her dreams she sees flashes of what could have happened. Are these dreams real, or are the manifestations? From what her family and the police tell her, they can't be real, but it feels true to her core. Chloe will go against everyone that is trying to "protect" her in order to protect herself.
This is the first book I have read by Michelle Adams, but it will not be my last. Her other book is If You Knew My Sister.
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's for the opportunity to read and review this book.
First of all, I don't know what I would do, if I woke up one day and had no idea who I was or who the people around me were. Then to find out that my family had been keeping secrets from me and trying to rewrite my history, that would make me go berserk. But Chloe is able to keep her composure long enough to discover what is really going on.
The book started off a little slow for me, but about half way through the story picked up and I couldn't put it down after that. Lots of ups and downs and twists and turns. When you find out the truth, it's really hard to believe. At first I was sure I knew what was going on, but towards the end, I found out I was very wrong. Chloe remembers nothing, but in her dreams she sees flashes of what could have happened. Are these dreams real, or are the manifestations? From what her family and the police tell her, they can't be real, but it feels true to her core. Chloe will go against everyone that is trying to "protect" her in order to protect herself.
This is the first book I have read by Michelle Adams, but it will not be my last. Her other book is If You Knew My Sister.
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated The Rocketeer (1991) in Movies
Feb 12, 2018
Hated it
Me trying to find something I liked about The Rocketeer: "Well that part was cool. Yeah, but it was quickly ruined by x,y, and z. Besides, the terrible part that happened right after made it all for nothing. Ok, but what about...Nope, that was pretty crappy too."
If Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice has taught us anything it's that sometimes superhero movies get it wrong. Not only does The Rocketeer get it wrong, it steps on its own feet before it can even get off the blocks properly. Oftentimes we have the case of decent actors getting placed with a dud of a script, but that's far from the situation here. Sure the actors didn't have much of a chance with the awful writing, but I have the strangest feeling that even if the writing had been superb these actors still would have found a way to muck it up. It's that bad. I'm talking grind your teeth bad.
To its credit, the film doesn't dupe you as it gets off to a terrible start almost immediately. Twenty minutes in and I was already thinking of the number of different things that I could have been doing rather than watching The Rocketeeer. Was it all bad? No, but mostly. The redeemable parts were quickly ruined by their own contradictions. Perfect example, everytime main character Cliff Secord (Billy Campbell) donned the Rocketeer suit, the action was pretty sweet to watch. Considering the fact that he wasn't in the suit for even a full half hour, things soured pretty quickly.
Corny moments abound in the film. I was hoping for a base that was more serious and less campy and all I can say is: Mission Not Accomplished. Between the absolute joke of a villain, the lame plot twist, and a number of other things, I don't know what bothered me the most.
The Rocketeer is the story of an aviator who is on the run from the mob after discovering a jet pack in the 1930's. Yeah, now that I think about it, the plot should have told me everything I needed to know about expectations. Skip it. I give it a 10.
If Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice has taught us anything it's that sometimes superhero movies get it wrong. Not only does The Rocketeer get it wrong, it steps on its own feet before it can even get off the blocks properly. Oftentimes we have the case of decent actors getting placed with a dud of a script, but that's far from the situation here. Sure the actors didn't have much of a chance with the awful writing, but I have the strangest feeling that even if the writing had been superb these actors still would have found a way to muck it up. It's that bad. I'm talking grind your teeth bad.
To its credit, the film doesn't dupe you as it gets off to a terrible start almost immediately. Twenty minutes in and I was already thinking of the number of different things that I could have been doing rather than watching The Rocketeeer. Was it all bad? No, but mostly. The redeemable parts were quickly ruined by their own contradictions. Perfect example, everytime main character Cliff Secord (Billy Campbell) donned the Rocketeer suit, the action was pretty sweet to watch. Considering the fact that he wasn't in the suit for even a full half hour, things soured pretty quickly.
Corny moments abound in the film. I was hoping for a base that was more serious and less campy and all I can say is: Mission Not Accomplished. Between the absolute joke of a villain, the lame plot twist, and a number of other things, I don't know what bothered me the most.
The Rocketeer is the story of an aviator who is on the run from the mob after discovering a jet pack in the 1930's. Yeah, now that I think about it, the plot should have told me everything I needed to know about expectations. Skip it. I give it a 10.
ClareR (5748 KP) rated The End of the Ocean in Books
Nov 6, 2019
The End of the Ocean by Maja Lunde is Climate Fiction (Cli-Fi) at its best and most stark. At its best, because everything that happens feels as though they are the reasonable consequences of what we are predicted now; most stark, because this is truly a terrible version of the future.
In the present day(2019), 69 year old environmental activist Signe discovers that her home town, and in particular her ex-boyfriend, is responsible for cutting up and shipping off ice from their glacier to sell to the rich, so that they can have glacial ice in their expensive cocktails. She decides to sabotage the shipment, and steals some of it - or what she can carry in her boat. She sails her ship through a terrible storm with the intention of taking it to the person responsible.
In 2041, David and his daughter Lou, arrive at a refugee camp after escaping from war and fire in their French home. There is little water and food, but David is hopeful that his wife and infant son (who they’ve been separated from) will be there or arrive soon.
The two stories are linked when David and Lou find Signe’s boat in the garden of one of the abandoned houses.
This is such a powerful book. It takes current scientific research and arrives at the extreme end of its prediction: drought, famine and war. I had to read it in short chunks, because I found the story so moving and intensely depressing, to be honest. It doesn’t feel exaggerated: I didn’t read it thinking “Well that would NEVER happen”. It’s all too plausible, in fact. I really liked how the two stories ran parallel to one another and joined up in the latter half of the book, with the boat as some sort of symbol of hope.
It’s not all depressing though. There is an element of hope, and we see the enduring strength of the human spirit. I have The History of Bees on my bookshelf, which I will read now - and I’ll definitely look out for the third in this quartet of books.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster UK for my copy of this book.
In the present day(2019), 69 year old environmental activist Signe discovers that her home town, and in particular her ex-boyfriend, is responsible for cutting up and shipping off ice from their glacier to sell to the rich, so that they can have glacial ice in their expensive cocktails. She decides to sabotage the shipment, and steals some of it - or what she can carry in her boat. She sails her ship through a terrible storm with the intention of taking it to the person responsible.
In 2041, David and his daughter Lou, arrive at a refugee camp after escaping from war and fire in their French home. There is little water and food, but David is hopeful that his wife and infant son (who they’ve been separated from) will be there or arrive soon.
The two stories are linked when David and Lou find Signe’s boat in the garden of one of the abandoned houses.
This is such a powerful book. It takes current scientific research and arrives at the extreme end of its prediction: drought, famine and war. I had to read it in short chunks, because I found the story so moving and intensely depressing, to be honest. It doesn’t feel exaggerated: I didn’t read it thinking “Well that would NEVER happen”. It’s all too plausible, in fact. I really liked how the two stories ran parallel to one another and joined up in the latter half of the book, with the boat as some sort of symbol of hope.
It’s not all depressing though. There is an element of hope, and we see the enduring strength of the human spirit. I have The History of Bees on my bookshelf, which I will read now - and I’ll definitely look out for the third in this quartet of books.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster UK for my copy of this book.
Suswatibasu (1702 KP) rated Florence Foster Jenkins (2016) in Movies
Aug 15, 2017
Lighthearted at times, quite sad actually, but all a ball of fluff in the end
The story of Florence Foster Jenkins is ambivalent. On the one hand, it shows how money can buy anything, and the upper class privileges that allow anyone to get away with anything. At the same time, you feel sorry for FFJ because she's extremely ill, alone, and she sings terribly, because why the hell not? From being a piano prodigy to contracting syphilis on her wedding night by her ex-husband that destroyed her ability to play let alone hear the pitch of her own voice - so in the end you feel sympathy for her. After that, you witness the brilliant performance of Meryl Streep, who is actually a good singer in reality, having to sing in the most terrible tones possible. Hugh Grant, as per usual, is a sap because that's the only role he knows how to play. Overall, a bit of lighthearted fluff.
Sarah (7799 KP) rated The Blue Nowhere in Books
Feb 2, 2019
An interesting take on hacking, with disappointing twists
I don’t think I’ve ever read such a detailed book about hacking before, so for me at least this part of the book was very interesting, even if I’m not entirely sure how possible it all is. Main character Wyatt is a decent main character for the most part, although him and the entire book in general did rather remind me of the Jack Reacher books - and not in a good way.
The plot was good and there were a lot of twists, but my issue was they were all fairly predictable or just downright disappointing. Around halfway through there is a ‘twist’ that was so shocking & unpredictable I loved it. Only to find out a few pages later that it wasn’t as it appeared, which is such a huge shame and I never really recovered throughout the rest of the book. It’s not a terrible book, it’s entertaining mostly but I think i was just expecting a lot more.
The plot was good and there were a lot of twists, but my issue was they were all fairly predictable or just downright disappointing. Around halfway through there is a ‘twist’ that was so shocking & unpredictable I loved it. Only to find out a few pages later that it wasn’t as it appeared, which is such a huge shame and I never really recovered throughout the rest of the book. It’s not a terrible book, it’s entertaining mostly but I think i was just expecting a lot more.