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Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) in Movies
Aug 7, 2019
When I first heard about this movie, I was expecting the worst. I’ve been exposed to my fair share of B-type horror movies (I was raised on “Critters,” “Ghoulies,” “Killer Clowns from Outerspace,” and everything else one can imagine as a kid). I laughed at the SyFy channel’s monster movie line-up and was sick unto death of zombie movies. That said, I wasn’t entirely excited for this movie’s premier. My boyfriend, however, was chomping at the bit. He adores B-type
movies and this was no exception. And, to my honest surprise, it wasn’t as awful as I had wholly envisioned in my head.
The movie starts with a young Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) defending his slave friend, Will Johnson (Anthony Mackie), from abuse at the hands of a slave trader. A scuffle ensues and Abraham’s father is ultimately met face-to-face with “Adam” (Rufus Sewell), a well-known and well-feared trader in the lands. The two exchange heated words with Adam threatening to extract his revenge by some unknown means. What seems later that evening, Abraham’s mother is attacked by Adam as young Abraham watches from the shadows. Adam, as one can guess, is a vampire and leaves Abraham’s mother in such a state she cannot recover. Upon her death, Abraham vows revenge, devoting the next ten years of his life to killing Adam.
As the reader can surmise, Abraham is ill-equipped to face Adam and when the day finally arrives, he finds himself wholly unprepared for the task. Cue the entrance of Henry Sturgess, Vampire Hunter. Saving Abraham from an early demise, Henry (Dominic Cooper) takes the young man under his wing and teaches him the way of vampire hunting. He teaches young Abe that the vampires control the whole of the south, using the slave trade as their means for fresh and easily accessible blood. Having never tolerated slavery of any kind, Abraham is infuriated by this and his desire to eradicate the vampire colony grows.
From there he is bequeathed his infamous axe, its edge lined in silver, and we watch as young Abe grows and matures as a skilled warrior before our eyes. When the time comes, Abraham is sent away on a mission to kill select vampires in a quiet town, vampires who pose as noted professionals and townspersons during the day. As a rule, Henry cautions Abraham not to make any friends or form any kind of attachments. Of course, it’s at this point he meets Mary Todd and that whole theory goes out the window. In addition to his vampire hunting, he also begins his career in politics and as a renowned orator. Given one’s knowledge of history, we can see where this all leads.
I won’t divulge the whole of the story here – I’m sure you can imagine where it goes and what comes of it. That said, aside from the over-the-top fighting scenes and certain drawn out moments (the horse stampede and train fight immediately come to mind), it wasn’t as awful as I had originally envisioned. The movie is entertaining and still
retains a fair amount of the B-movie cheesiness one hopes for in watching it. Obviously, the storyline is wracked with historical inaccuracies and unlikely moments (really, Abe Lincoln survives a horse being thrown at him?), but it’s a B-movie and I wasn’t expecting perfection.
If you’re looking for something that offers sheer entertainment and nothing further, this is a movie for you then. You won’t be blown away by the acting skills, the special effects are decent enough (don’t pay extra for 3-D though – it was awful), and while the movie feels slow and drags at parts, over-all it’s rather entertaining for what it is.
movies and this was no exception. And, to my honest surprise, it wasn’t as awful as I had wholly envisioned in my head.
The movie starts with a young Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) defending his slave friend, Will Johnson (Anthony Mackie), from abuse at the hands of a slave trader. A scuffle ensues and Abraham’s father is ultimately met face-to-face with “Adam” (Rufus Sewell), a well-known and well-feared trader in the lands. The two exchange heated words with Adam threatening to extract his revenge by some unknown means. What seems later that evening, Abraham’s mother is attacked by Adam as young Abraham watches from the shadows. Adam, as one can guess, is a vampire and leaves Abraham’s mother in such a state she cannot recover. Upon her death, Abraham vows revenge, devoting the next ten years of his life to killing Adam.
As the reader can surmise, Abraham is ill-equipped to face Adam and when the day finally arrives, he finds himself wholly unprepared for the task. Cue the entrance of Henry Sturgess, Vampire Hunter. Saving Abraham from an early demise, Henry (Dominic Cooper) takes the young man under his wing and teaches him the way of vampire hunting. He teaches young Abe that the vampires control the whole of the south, using the slave trade as their means for fresh and easily accessible blood. Having never tolerated slavery of any kind, Abraham is infuriated by this and his desire to eradicate the vampire colony grows.
From there he is bequeathed his infamous axe, its edge lined in silver, and we watch as young Abe grows and matures as a skilled warrior before our eyes. When the time comes, Abraham is sent away on a mission to kill select vampires in a quiet town, vampires who pose as noted professionals and townspersons during the day. As a rule, Henry cautions Abraham not to make any friends or form any kind of attachments. Of course, it’s at this point he meets Mary Todd and that whole theory goes out the window. In addition to his vampire hunting, he also begins his career in politics and as a renowned orator. Given one’s knowledge of history, we can see where this all leads.
I won’t divulge the whole of the story here – I’m sure you can imagine where it goes and what comes of it. That said, aside from the over-the-top fighting scenes and certain drawn out moments (the horse stampede and train fight immediately come to mind), it wasn’t as awful as I had originally envisioned. The movie is entertaining and still
retains a fair amount of the B-movie cheesiness one hopes for in watching it. Obviously, the storyline is wracked with historical inaccuracies and unlikely moments (really, Abe Lincoln survives a horse being thrown at him?), but it’s a B-movie and I wasn’t expecting perfection.
If you’re looking for something that offers sheer entertainment and nothing further, this is a movie for you then. You won’t be blown away by the acting skills, the special effects are decent enough (don’t pay extra for 3-D though – it was awful), and while the movie feels slow and drags at parts, over-all it’s rather entertaining for what it is.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Pixels (2015) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
The new Sony film ‘Pixels’, was written by Tim Herlihy, Adam Sandler and Timothy Dowling. It stars Adam Sandler (Sam Brenner), Peter Dinklage (Eddie ‘The Fire Blaster’), Kevin James (President Will Cooper), Jane Krakowski (the First Lady), and Josh Gad (Ludlow Lamonsoff).
The movie opens with scenes straight out of the 1980’s and shows Sam, Eddie, Will and Ludlow all gathering at the arcade video world championships. The championships are being recorded to send in a time capsule to outer space, hoping to find alien life forms. The competition comes down to Sam and Eddie (who has nick named himself ‘The Fire Blaster’) and Eddie defeats Sam. Sam is crushed.
Fast forward about 30 years and Sam is working as an installation technician, and somehow Will has become the POTUS. Ludlow and Eddie are no where to be seen.
An attack occurs, Ludlow mysteriously appears in Sams van, and Ludlow reveals that the attack was perpetrated not only by aliens, but by 80’s style pixelated arcade aliens, who apparently intercepted our space bound time capsule, interpreted it as a declaration of war (????) and sent back pixelated arcade aliens to destroy us (?!?).
The two childhood friends go to the president with the information, who at first, under the pressure of his advisors, brushes them off.
After another attack occurs, President Will over rides his advisers and enlists Sam and Ludlows help, and also reaches out to The Fire Blaster (currently in prison, and demanding a list of concessions in exchange for his help and expertise.)
The movie didn’t have any dragging points for me, and I did laugh out loud at some portions. My son who is nearly 7 REALLY enjoyed it, and if it had had slightly less obvious (and what felt like marginally unnecessary) curse words I would have liked it better for his age range. There were children even younger than my son in the theatre though, and I found myself cringing at some of the language, and noticed my son looking at me to see if I noticed him noticing that there were ‘bad words’. Since it IS rated PG-13, there’s not a whole lot to be said about it, but it could have been just as good a movie, and therefore enjoyable by a bigger age range, without the cursing.
When I asked him later whether he liked the movie he said he ‘liked it a lot, but it had some bad words’.
Pixels was pretty action packed, and although I found it to be an odd premise for a movie, I did enjoy it. I don’t feel that they made as good a use of the 3D format as they could have. The soundtrack was good. I liked the characters, even though i couldn’t quite make the jump as to ‘why or how’ Will became president, and I had the hardest time dealing with Eddies accent. It just ‘felt off’, most likely because I’ve been watching him most recently on Game of Thrones.
I think kids will enjoy it for the action and parents will like it well enough for the nostalgia factor.
Overall I would give this movie 2.5 out of 5 stars.
The movie opens with scenes straight out of the 1980’s and shows Sam, Eddie, Will and Ludlow all gathering at the arcade video world championships. The championships are being recorded to send in a time capsule to outer space, hoping to find alien life forms. The competition comes down to Sam and Eddie (who has nick named himself ‘The Fire Blaster’) and Eddie defeats Sam. Sam is crushed.
Fast forward about 30 years and Sam is working as an installation technician, and somehow Will has become the POTUS. Ludlow and Eddie are no where to be seen.
An attack occurs, Ludlow mysteriously appears in Sams van, and Ludlow reveals that the attack was perpetrated not only by aliens, but by 80’s style pixelated arcade aliens, who apparently intercepted our space bound time capsule, interpreted it as a declaration of war (????) and sent back pixelated arcade aliens to destroy us (?!?).
The two childhood friends go to the president with the information, who at first, under the pressure of his advisors, brushes them off.
After another attack occurs, President Will over rides his advisers and enlists Sam and Ludlows help, and also reaches out to The Fire Blaster (currently in prison, and demanding a list of concessions in exchange for his help and expertise.)
The movie didn’t have any dragging points for me, and I did laugh out loud at some portions. My son who is nearly 7 REALLY enjoyed it, and if it had had slightly less obvious (and what felt like marginally unnecessary) curse words I would have liked it better for his age range. There were children even younger than my son in the theatre though, and I found myself cringing at some of the language, and noticed my son looking at me to see if I noticed him noticing that there were ‘bad words’. Since it IS rated PG-13, there’s not a whole lot to be said about it, but it could have been just as good a movie, and therefore enjoyable by a bigger age range, without the cursing.
When I asked him later whether he liked the movie he said he ‘liked it a lot, but it had some bad words’.
Pixels was pretty action packed, and although I found it to be an odd premise for a movie, I did enjoy it. I don’t feel that they made as good a use of the 3D format as they could have. The soundtrack was good. I liked the characters, even though i couldn’t quite make the jump as to ‘why or how’ Will became president, and I had the hardest time dealing with Eddies accent. It just ‘felt off’, most likely because I’ve been watching him most recently on Game of Thrones.
I think kids will enjoy it for the action and parents will like it well enough for the nostalgia factor.
Overall I would give this movie 2.5 out of 5 stars.