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Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
2018 | Adventure, Family, Fantasy, Mystery
Well where do I start? I love the fact that there is no substantial synopsis for this film, a lot have just gone with "the ongoing adventures of Newt Scamander" or similarly vague offerings.

It's difficult to separate them from their Harry Potter ancestry. They are of course the same universe. If you can sever the links then the films aren't too bad, but they're not amazing either. The other issue is that with the links you're obviously given lots of issues with continuity and timelines.

After only given a brief sighting of Grindelwald in the first film we're sold a creepy and scary version in this one very early on. His suspension during the transfer to the coach gives him the sinister grace of a dementor. This leads to the first of two problems for me. Abernathy in this whole introductory section is odd and you can tell something is up, so when we're eventually presented with that was happening it wasn't a surprise.

Here's problem two. Once Grindelwald is secured in the coach the rest of the sequence takes place outside, in the dark, in a storm. Very atmospheric with striking shots... most of which you can't see because of the lightning and rain. Everything is so fast that it's just a blur. It seems to be a popular occurrence recently and I will never understand why you would spend so much money on them when you can't see what's happening. One of the bits that you can see properly is the ghostly face of Grindelwald appearing in the coach window... which is a shame because it felt like it was awfully done and could have used some covering up.

As a quick note while I remember, I would like to acknowledge the impressive advances in wizarding technology. Early roombas and Fitbits. Great job!

Looking back over the notes most of them were about characters. Barely any about storyline. Just one thing that seemed completely out of place/inaccurate, and that was Minerva McGonagall. I'm not well enough versed in Harry Potter history but looking at the chatter I don't think her timeline matches with that of the film... but I'll leave that to the super nerds. If it is inaccurate it would have been very easy to avoid so it seems ridiculous to have had in at all.

The fluffy, feathered and scaly friends also need an honourable mention. *gets out soap box and steps up* Nifflers rule. I will fight anyone who thinks otherwise. Although, bad film! Getting my hopes up and then dashing them. You give them leeway with the animation considering they're fantastic beasts, but the only creatures that don't really have a decent presence on screen are the matagots that protect the Ministry of Magic. Even as hairless catlike creatures you'd expect something a little more impressive than what feels like CGI with a layer of detail missing.

I'm also intrigued by the phoenix. Is it Fawkes? How did Albus get his? Of course I could have missed things that answer all of the questions I have about it.

After reviewing all my notes I can (un)happily say that almost all of the women come off quite badly in this film. Bunty, Newt's assistant (I hope that was her name, she was fairly forgetable other than this point), came over as a little creepy with her comments that clearly show her affections for him. Queenie has a bit of a transformation in this one. She's still got her optimistic outlook but she's devolving a bit. Tina is taken by jealousy, which seems a little off for her. The newest addition of Nagini came out relatively unscathed and I'm hoping for an intriguing ongoing story for her.

The male characters came off slightly better. Jacob and Flamel were some welcome relief from this bleak installment of the franchise. Hats off to Callum Turner and Joshua Shea though. They both managed to pick up the Newt mannerisms really well. I can appreciate it even though it's one of the things I dislike about Fantastic Beasts, the constant head tilting.

Jude Law as Albus Dumbledore still doesn't sit quite right, but he made a reasonable job of it. He doesn't quite hold the same presence in the scenes as you'd expect him to for the man he becomes though. Everyone also got into a tizzy about his sexuality. Who cares? Whether he is or isn't gay makes no difference to the movie whatsoever. Just enjoy a film a don't worry about it until it's relevant.

It really is difficult to sum the story line up for this one. There's a reason that everyone has generalised the synopsis. It's just a lot of nothing in particular. It's part two of five. There didn't really seem to be a lot apart from filler. What I can tell you is that the first time I saw this (I went to the midnight screening at Vue originally) I fell asleep through a significant chunk in the middle and yet I still came out with the same understanding and enjoyment as I did after the second time.

What you should do

You're going to have to see it at some point if you're into the HP universe. Just a statement of fact there!

Movie thing you wish you could take home

That magic spell for collapsing all my belongings into a couple of trunks, I'm assuming it would come in handy for cleaning as well.
  
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Acanthea Grimscythe (300 KP) rated The House by the Cemetery in Books

Jan 31, 2019 (Updated Feb 2, 2019)  
The House by the Cemetery
The House by the Cemetery
John Everson | 2018 | Horror
6
7.3 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
I have a love-hate relationship with The House by the Cemetery by John Everson, and it’s really tearing me apart. I absolutely enjoyed the story itself, but there’s a few issues, one of which is a huge red flag, that I simply can’t allow to go unspoken–and if other reviews are any clue, I’m not the only one that’s immensely bothered by it.

The story involves a witch that died in 1963, a haunted house, a haunted house attraction, and a lot of characters (too many to keep track of without a notebook, actually). Hired to repair the haunted house so that guests can safely walk through it, Mike Kostner spends much of his time drinking beer and talking with the girls, Katie and Emery. At the same time, Jeanie’s been hired on as a makeup artist for the upcoming attraction and drags her boyfriend, Bong, into it. Then there’s Jillie and Ted, paranormal investigators. And then there are three other groups of people to form more members of the cast, which I found to be extremely overwhelming.

At this point in my review, I usually talk about characters and their development, what I like about them, what I don’t, etc. In this case, I can’t really do that. The only character I managed to forge any sort of emotional connection with was Jeanie, and it’s mainly sympathetic. As for the rest of the roles played, I’m largely disappointed. Why? Because there’s a severe lack of sensitivity in this novel–which has been mentioned in several other reviews. There are four characters whose sole defining characteristic is either their race or their weight. There’s no depth given beyond that to them as an individual. The remarks dealing with weight are largely shaming and those dealing with race are stereotypical. And here’s where I’m going to take a moment to discuss the character Bong, which I feel is the most blatant insult to another race’s customs that I’ve seen in a long time.

Bong’s full name is Bong-soon Mon. Phonetically, that sounds a lot like “bong soon man.” It’s not overly obvious if you’re not familiar with Korean names, and Bong-soon is an actual name used in the drama Strong Woman Do Bong Soon. However, in this case, Everson shortens Bong-soon, which is actually the character’s name (whether it’s his first or last, I’m not sure), to Bong. Thus he makes it more of a laughing matter (really, it’s not funny), whether it’s intentional or unintentional. Usually I’m not sensitive to these types of material, but in this book the way it comes across is really bothersome and, like several other readers, I agree with the idea that this book desperately needs an edit for sensitivity. Please bear in mind that I read an arc of this book and so I’m not sure if any of these issues were addressed in the final publication.

EDIT: After speaking with the author, he explained to me that the reason he shortened the name as he did comes from personal experience with someone that had the same name, and what they went by. Everson also assured me it was not his intent to fat shame those characters. I really appreciate that he reached out to me, and feel it's important that my misconception be corrected, but not hidden.

Plotwise, I adored this book. I can’t go too much into detail without sharing spoilers, but I can say this: the Everson does have a talent for creating beautifully grisly, albeit somewhat repetitive, scenes. The bloodbath that takes place near the end of the book is a glorious gore-fest that I felt the rest of the story worked up to quite well, even if it crawled earlier on while Mike was working on the house. As for the setting, it’s well written. I liked the idea of a house next to a cemetery, and its easy to infer its age without being told: it’s too close to a turnpike to have been put there before the turnpike was built. I was, however, confused by the juxtaposition of a heavily wooded house and cemetery in close proximity to a city or town, as in my experience turnpikes usually don’t have exits between major locales. At least, not very many present-day ones do, as most of them have been converted to, or created as, a controlled-access highway, where intersecting roads tend to cross over or under so that they do not impede traffic. That said, it strikes me as weird that a single house and cemetery would have an exit from a turnpike.

So I decided to google cemeteries and turnpikes, and what did I find? Bachelor’s Grove Cemetery is an actual haunted locale found in the suburbs of Chicago. And yes, it actually is that close to a turnpike! If you like to watch Ghost Adventures, the cemetery was featured in a 2012 episode. Also, the cemetery is extremely old. Even better? Many of the ghost stories referenced in the book are actual tales surrounding the cemetery. It’s actually pretty fascinating and I wouldn’t even have known about it were it not for Everson’s book.

Overall, I did enjoy reading this book. I loved the homage to horror movies of all types, including lesser known genres. I absolutely adored the way in which some of the characters were manipulated, too. Hence why I stated early in this review that I have a love-hate relationship with it. Because of the lack of sensitivity though, and the way I was made to feel as a reader because of it (I’m overweight, after all), I can’t give it more than three skulls.

I’d like to thank the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a free copy of this book for review.
  
Show all 7 comments.
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Acanthea Grimscythe (300 KP) Feb 1, 2019

Agreed, @Heather Cranmer! I’ve seen that too, and I really love the phrase “freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences.”

One of the things about this book’s reviews that really bother me on Goodreads is that while several reviewers mentioned the issue, many more didn’t even touch on it.

Seriously. I’m just like, “Really guys? Am I the only fat, non-white individual here that feels singled out?” My first thought when I saw the weight comments, then the use of race as the identifier, was, “Wow, this author would hate me. I’m fat and Hispanic.” I have read some pretty triggering books, and of course I’ve read many that are considered no longer okay to teach in school because of their racial content, but I have never, ever felt so singled out as a reader.

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Heather Cranmer (2721 KP) Feb 1, 2019

Wow, yeah. It’s amazing what some people are comfortable with. The author sounds racist and just like a bigot. I will definitely be giving his other works a miss. I don’t want to read a bunch of hateful mean comments. The world is too full of meanness in real life as it is =(

NF
Notes from Ghost Town
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
(This review will be found on my blog (<a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.com/">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>) around the end of June).



I had been wanting to read this book since forever. I was thrilled when I found out that my local library had Notes From Ghost Town. I really liked this book.

Olivia is a 16 year old girl who has just realized that she's fallen in love with her best friend, Stern. On the day they share their first kiss, Olivia goes colorblind without knowing why. Soon after, Stern gets murdered. People are saying it was Olivia's mother as she was found with his body and because she's Schizophrenic. When Stern's ghost shows up telling Olivia to solve his murder because he doesn't believe it was her mother, Olivia must decide if she should help or if she's going crazy like her mother. Whatever she decides, she only has 9 days...

I like the title a lot. To me, it sounds kinda spooky which I like and which the book is not. I don't really understand why that title was picked since there isn't really any notes from Ghost Town unless they are musical.

The cover is alright. The girl is supposed to be the main character, Olivia. I guess she's hugging herself because Stern is gone, and she just thinks she's losing it completely. I would've had her against a back drop of Ghost Town and possibly with a ghostly Stern, but then again, I don't design covers.

I loved the world building, and the way in which Stern exists in the living world is your typical unfinished business thing. However, the world was written beautifully, and I felt as if I was a person existing in that world. Everything about this book felt real. The only thing that made the world building a little off was the fact that it's mentioned in the book that Stern's body was found all bloated and such because he'd been in the water for awhile. Yet, later in the book, it's said that he wasn't in the water for very long. Which one is it? I believe it's the latter, but the fact that both were written annoyed me a bit. Oh, and one other thing. Olivia mentions how much of an idiot Austin is, yet she hooks up with him and starts falling for him after he seems to be nice to her one time. In the real world, I seriously doubt this would happen. Jock boys that are mean to "weird" girls don't suddenly go sweet on them all of a sudden. I don't know. To me, it just didn't make sense.

The pacing starts out a bit slow, and I was worried that I had spent all my energy wanting this book for nothing. However, after a few chapters, the pacing picks up and stays that way throughout the book. In fact, I read most of this book in a day with the exception of about 60 pages. My husband wanted me to come to bed or else I would've finished it that night. Chapters flow into chapters and sentences into sentences. The pacing was brilliant after a slow start.

I enjoyed the plot even though it's been done before. Girl finally realizes she's in love with her best friend. Best friend dies right as something is getting started. Ghost haunts person due to unfinished business. However, the way the plot was written was fantastic. I felt it was a bit predictable, but I still enjoyed reading the book nonetheless. I didn't feel that there were any plot twists, but as I said, it's still an enjoyable read.

I loved the characters! I felt bad for Olivia becoming color blind since she was an up and coming artist. I loved how much she loved Stern yet she knew she had to keep on living (don't worry, that's not a spoiler). The only thing that annoyed me was how trusting she was during her investigation of who killed Stern. Also, I felt like she was just a tad bit naive because I felt it had become painfully obvious who is was. Perhaps she just wanted to see the good in everyone. I also enjoyed reading about Stern. I just wish I could've got a bit of back story on him so I would've been able to really feel for him. He dies within the first few chapters, so I never really got a chance to connect with him. While I loved reading about him, I just didn't feel for him. I absolutely loved Raina! I loved how much she wanted to help Olivia even though Olivia kept pushing her away. As for Austin, I didn't really know what to think of him. Olivia says he's mean (although she used other words for him), but throughout the book, he seemed really sweet.

The dialogue flowed freely and smoothly. Character interactions never once felt forced, and I felt that everyone spoke and acted appropriately for their age group. There is a lot of swearing in this book though, but I don't feel like it was put in just for the sake of having it in the book. The swearing felt natural, and fit right in with what the characters were going through. And let's be honest, most people would be hard pressed to find a teenager that didn't swear.

Overall, Notes From Ghost Town was a interesting and intriguing read. I loved the way Ellison incorporates a romantic ghost story in with a murder mystery. This makes for a fantastic read!

I'd recommend this book to those aged 16+ who are after an intriguing story that has a lot of different elements to read about.
  
Jem and the Holograms (2015)
Jem and the Holograms (2015)
2015 | Action, Musical, Sci-Fi
3
3.2 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Being a teenager is a confusing time, we want to be accepted, popular, and, at times, invisible. In a world where you feel overlooked and ignored, it is gratifying to have a voice, an identity, some special aspect that is going to make you stand out and be accepted. Jem and the Holograms attempts to make this a theme. Creating your identity and having the ability to shape and form it into a way that it becomes your own shield against the ills of the world. It is a very promising concept and idea when attempting to update the series for today’s audience. Unfortunately there isn’t much substance to the film. The substance that is apparent is quite shallow and undeveloped.

Instead of sticking with the original premise and backstory of the popular cartoon series of the 1980s, it tries to modernize itself in a way that holds onto little of its origin other than the name of some of the characters. There is no heart with this film, there is no feeling driving the movie that makes you want to cheer for the characters to become successful. This is mainly due to the film not giving audiences a chance to like the characters or even learn who they really are. The film makes everything look so easy within the music industry. The basic understanding is that if you post a video online, you might be discovered and are immediately offered a recording contract. This storyline will resonate with many of the “Generation Me” and “Kardashian Culture” crowd that is filled dreams of becoming famous for doing little to nothing.

The story is beyond far-fetched in that it every problem, riddle, issue, and negative moment is resolved in the next scene. There is no struggle for any of the characters other than the possibility that their aunt and foster mother may lose their house, but even this is solved within two minutes.

The one shining light in the film is Juliette Lewis as Erica Raymond, CEO of Starlight Records who gives Jem and her sisters the opportunity to take over the spotlight. She is not only the comic relief, but serves the role as a conniving, manipulative recording manager. This is pretty much the only similarity that exists between this film and the original series. Erica prompts older audiences to think of the Misfits (the nemesis to the Holograms) who were continuously trying to sabotage their careers. The rest of the cast, leaves one not feeling connected to them or their storylines. There is no development for any of the people throughout the film. It almost seems as though when making the film, the production team sat around thinking, “It’s Jem, the music will carry the story.” Unfortunately, the music that is included goes no further than being the typical pop music similar to that which is on every station today. There is nothing that stands out about the music, as catchy as it is, that makes you feel as though you should become invested in who these girls are or even that they have something that makes them stand out. With the time that has passed since the cartoon appeared on television, there should have been more investment in who these girls are and why we should care about them. Audiences don’t have that opportunity, as they become famous, seemingly overnight. It almost makes one want to root against them.

There is a real opportunity missed with this film to combine the original show, catering to older audiences who watched the show as children, and update it for a newer generation. The film would have been much better served with inclusion of many of the elements that made the series have such appeal. The approach is very juvenile and rushed. The original show was more than music, it was about the relationships formed by many of the characters and the various adventures that they would pursue. There were stories with depth and continuity which reinforced the aspects of working hard and achievement of goals. The whole movie looks like a diary entry of what an American tween would see as their life in entertainment. The one positive note about the film is the way that it incorporates social media in the development of the story. It demonstrates the connection that is and can be made through music and pop culture.

Sadly, in contrast to the original series, the film demeans and belittles women. Its approach is short-sighted and does not deal with any aspect of reality that one would expect. Jem is nothing more than a manufactured pop music story. There is little that audiences could relate to. In a sense, it is anti-music, and anti-intellectual. The film itself, is filler and a corruption of the origin story and the time that has passed since it first debuted. Audiences of Jem the TV series may be appalled at what they witness, if they do decide to actually watch the film. For younger audiences, this film reinforces the belief that all kids should get participation trophies because they tried. There is the sense that if you just show up, the opportunity will be handed to you. There is no real work on the screen and it seems as though there was no real work or effort put into creating this film. Younger audiences will tout the music and friendship displayed. Older audiences who were fans of the television show will be soundly disappointed in what they witness on the screen. It is a bastardization of what Jem should be in a modern age. There is no soul to this film. Every note that it hits is flat.

http://sknr.net/2015/10/23/jem-and-the-holograms/
  
To Kill a Mockingbird
To Kill a Mockingbird
Harper Lee | 1989 | Children, Fiction & Poetry
8
8.6 (96 Ratings)
Book Rating
Well, February is definitely the month for discovering classics I’ve missed! For some reason, I’d always classed To Kill a Mockingbird in amongst the Agatha Christie genre of murder mysteries – not that I’ve read those either – and didn’t know enough about it for it to have piqued my interest. Now I’ve read it though, I can see what all the fuss is about, and it’s not surprising that, despite being published in 1960, it was still the <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2012/aug/09/best-selling-books-all-time-fifty-shades-grey-compare">65th best-selling book of all time</a> in 2012. Beware of spoilers!

The story is set in Maycomb, Alabama in the 1930s, and is written from the perspective of Jean Louise ‘Scout’ Finch, who is between six and eight years old as the story progresses. The start of the book does an effective job of introducing us to all the characters. Scout lives with her widowed father, Atticus, a lawyer, her brother Jem (who is 4 years older than her) and Calpurnia, a black woman who acts as a type of mother figure. A friend, Dill, also joins them in the summer. The three children are intrigued by Arthur ‘Boo’ Radley, who lives in the house on the corner but is never seen outside. I really enjoyed this part of the story; it set the scene brilliantly, as well as helping me reminisce about my own childhood. Even if there is no ‘haunted’ house, children will always make one – at least, my brother and I did! With the limitless amounts of imagination children have, there will always be adventures to be had and ‘monsters’ to escape from. There was one particular house, when we were around the same age as Jem and Scout, where they had a doorbell you pulled, like a cord. My brother Josh said it was a doorbell that made you scream every time you pulled it, so we obviously had great fun in pulling it, screaming, and running away. If by some fluke the person living there is reading this, I’m really sorry, but it still makes me laugh! There was also every Christmas, when we went carol singing. We had decided that the houses beyond the wood were richer than the others, and every year would link arms, lighting matches to try and find our way in the dark and telling ghost stories the whole time.

Once everything has been established, the book moves on to a case Atticus is defending. A black man, Tom, has been accused of raping Mayella Ewell, part of a trashy white family with very poor education and even less money. This is where the casual prejudice of the time is evident – Jem and Scout have to put up with people calling their family a “nigger-lover” (sorry if that language offends, it is a direct quote and I mean no harm); Atticus faces repercussions for his whole-hearted attempt to save Tom; and many of the Maycomb women look down on the black community. However, there’s still a touch of hope – the way Atticus defends Tom’s case makes everybody think, a great feat in the setting where black and white people are in completely different classes. In this part of the story, I really looked up to Atticus, in his seemingly-infinite wisdom.

In the final part of the story, Jem and Scout finally get to meet Boo Radley, and it is here that the title of the book becomes apparent. In the middle of the book, after Jem and Scout get air-rifles, it is said:

<blockquote>When he gave us our air-rifles Atticus wouldn’t teach us to shoot. Uncle Jack instructed us in the rudiments thereof; he said Atticus wasn’t interested in guns. Atticus said to Jem one day, “I’d rather you shoot at tin cans in the back yard, but I know you’ll go after birds. Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ‘em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”

That was the only time I ever heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it.

“Your father’s right,” she said. “Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”</blockquote>

Obviously, not knowing what was coming, I thought the story must eventually be about the children shooting a mockingbird. The last page of the book, though, I realised that it was a lot more subtle and symbolic than that. The mockingjay is Boo Radley, the man who gives when he can and causes no harm.

I really wish I’d read this story as a child, to see what sort of perspective I’d have had back then. Reading as an adult means that, while Scout was a brilliant perspective, I was almost reading as an outsider. I could see her maturing, slowly fitting the pieces together to start acting like an adult, but at the same time it was an undeniably adult reading. I really really enjoyed the book, but I have a feeling it’s one of those multi-faceted ones where you read something different every time. I can’t help thinking that reading it as a child would have been a lot more powerful.

This review is also on my <a href="http://awowords.wordpress.com">blog</a>; - if you liked it, please check it out!
  
Taco Ninja Adventure
Taco Ninja Adventure
2017 | Card Game, Dice Game, Fighting
Hello, my name is Travis Lopez. I review board games. I am half Mexican and half European mutt. I like tacos. I like ninjas. I like adventures. That all said, I knew I had to try a game entitled Taco Ninja Adventure right away, just because I like all those things mentioned. Did this one bring the salsa, or did it leave me with a soggy bottom mess?

Taco Ninja Adventure is a card battling game for two to six players where each player will control at least one Taco Ninja. It’s a taco head with a bipedal humanoid body. And they know ninjutsu. These ninjas duke it out on the battlefield to display the greatest technical skills and the Taco Ninja team that can deliver the final bite to the opponents will be the winner.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup each team (in my case I played two player so we each controlled two Taco Ninjas) will choose their Taco Ninjas in alternating fashion and begin the game in the Battlefield (near each other on the table). The Item and Attack card decks are to be shuffled and the first three Attack card revealed to create a market row. Each player draws two Item cards to be kept secret from the opposing team and a life tracker with the cube on 30 HP. The death battle may now begin!
On a turn the player will decide whether they would like to stay on the Battlefield to fight or retreat to the Dojo to retool. If they remain on the Battlefield the active Taco Ninja will choose an opponent also on the Battlefield to target. Three Yahtzee-style dice rolls later the attacking Taco Ninja will either deliver damage to the opponent, heal themselves, or draw an Item card to be used on a later turn. Each of these results are compared against a reference card that shows successful attacks for 3 of a Kind, 4 of a Kind, Full House, and 5 of a Kind for maximum damage. Rolling two pairs yields an Item card and either 4 or 5 in a row yields healing to the active Taco Ninja.

Should the Taco Ninja wish to retreat to the Dojo they may instead draw either an Item card, one of the face-up Attack cards, or an Attack card blindly from the top of the deck. Item cards can be played on the owner’s turn or out of turn in some cases. Attack cards usually will add damage to successful attacks if its specific dice roll requirement is met.

Once a Taco Ninja is knocked out from sustaining too much damage they are sent to the Afterlife. While a Taco Ninja exists in the Afterlife they will still take turns rolling. They can roll certain results to heal their teammate still on Earth or even reincarnate if the correct result is rolled.


When one team has sent both of their Taco Ninjas to the Afterlife they are finished and the winning team may devour their remains. If these are actually cannibalistic anthropomorphic tacos.
Components. This game is mostly cards with a few cubes, five dice, and a cloth drawstring bag. The cards are all fine, the cubes of normal quality and brown and orange in color, and the dice are the small dice (maybe 12mm?). The art style throughout is obviously cartoony tacos, so it invokes a feeling of silliness that I appreciate. I do not really know what the bag is for other than to protect the cubes and dice in the box? In the rules it mentions a first-player marker, which I found none of in the box, so I used the bag as that marker. It’s a nice bag. No problems with the components from me.

I do have a slight grumble with the name of the game, however. This is a head-to-head card and dice-based deathmatch. Unfortunately the Taco Ninjas do not actually go out adventuring, just battling and dying. So I think a more apropos title could have been Taco Ninja Crunchfest or On Eating Taco Ninjas. That’s ridiculous and I am sorry for making you read this paragraph.

All in all the game is actually quite a good time. It is very light and simple to learn, but strategizing attacks and when to retreat to grab more Item and Attack cards is great. Yes, at the end of the day all turns are decided by dice rolls, so no amount of strategy should logically work fully, but it is still fun to just roll dice and demolish some tacos in the process. Please do not expect anything more than a nice little filler game here. A game night probably will not revolve around Taco Ninja Adventure, but perhaps several games using different characters or a round-robin tournament could be enjoyable.

That said, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a delicious 8 / 12. It is highly portable, very light, appetizingly fun, and has a unique theme. If you are looking for a good solid filler game that is a bit different in style and theme than most, I would have you take a look at Taco Ninja Adventure. It might just be the cardboard antipasto you have been seeking.
  
Artemis Fowl (2020)
Artemis Fowl (2020)
2020 | Action, Adventure, Family, Fantasy
Some setpieces (0 more)
Character development (1 more)
Forgettable story
Another Live-Action Disney Adaption Bomb
Contains spoilers, click to show
What is it about fantasy novels that makes them so difficult to translate effectively to the silver screen? It’s not impossible – J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series and Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings adaptations are proof that it can be done. More often than not, however, the result is as limp and truncated as Kenneth Branagh’s Artemis Fowl – a few standout moments set adrift in a sea of underdeveloped characters, incomplete backstory elements, and abbreviated world building. Although the problem lies primarily in the difficulties associated with condensing an epic tale into a short-ish movie, the lack of elegance with which that is accomplished makes Artemis Fowl a failure for anyone hoping for the next great fantasy film.

The treatment accorded to Artemis Fowl (the movie condenses elements from the first two volumes of an eight-novel cycle into a single film) recalls a Disney misfire from more than three decades ago. Although The Black Cauldron was animated, it suffered from many of the same problems evident in Artemis Fowl: an oversimplification of the backstory, a rushed narrative with poorly realized characters, and a overall lack of faithfulness to the source material. The Black Cauldron worked better because it at least had a clean ending. Artemis Fowl suffers by trying to both provide a credible stopping point (in case there are no additional films) and offering a lead-in to additional adventures (in case there are additional films).

In the books, 12-year old Artemis (played by Ferdia Shaw, the grandson of Robert Shaw) is presented as an anti-hero (although, over the course of the saga, his villainous attributes fade to be replaced by heroic ones). Here, he’s more of a misunderstood boy-genius whose role as the protagonist is never in question. All of his edges have been smoothed out. The story focuses on Artemis’ efforts to locate and rescue his father, Artemis Fowl Sr. (Colin Farrell), an infamous art thief who has been kidnapped by the twisted evil fairy Opal Koboi. Her ransom for releasing him is that Artemis must locate and obtain a powerful McGuffin. He is joined in his efforts by Lower Elements Police (LEP) fairy police officer Holly Short (Lara McDonnell), giant dwarf Mulch Diggums (Josh Gad), and strongman Domovoi Butler (Nonso Anozie).

Artemis Fowl diverges considerably from the two books that form its basis, Artemis Fowl and Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident. Although author Eoin Colfer reportedly “approved” the changes, they push the film into an alternate universe from the one occupied by the novels. Even with the pruning of subplots and condensation of the narrative, 100 minutes is too short to tell the story effectively. None of the characters are well-developed, including Artemis. The boy’s relationship with Holly Short evolves with whiplash-inducing rapidity – one moment, they’re enemies (actually, she’s his prisoner), the next they’re friends. The film’s frenetic pace might work for ADD viewers and preteens but there’s no time for world-building or anything more than the most basic exposition. As a result, Artemis Fowl feels rushed to the point of being exhausting and strangely confusing despite the relatively straightforward storyline.

Kenneth Branagh was undoubtedly selected to direct the film based on his success with two earlier Disney properties: the live-action Cinderella and Marvel’s Thor. Perhaps because Branagh had no input into the screenplay (which was completed before he came on board), the movie lacks the complex psychological qualities he normally brings to his films. Visually, Artemis Fowl is impressive. However, although the fairy world of Haven is beautifully rendered, it appears all-too-briefly. The film’s most impressive sequence, a throwdown with a seemingly invincible troll, is a standout by any definition, but it represents only about five minutes of screen time and there’s nothing else that comes close – not even the muted climax.

As is often the case, Branagh’s presence at the top results in some impressive names in the cast. The young leads are newcomers – this is Ferdia Shaw’s first movie (and it shows – his performance is occasionally wooden) and Lara McDonnell’s third (she’s better, evidencing an indomitable pluckiness) – but the rest of the cast is populated with veterans. Josh Gad, another Disney regular, has the most openly comedic role of the film as Mulch Diggums. Colin Farrell is called on for limited duty as Artemis’ mostly-absent father. Nonso Anozie, who has a history with Branagh, plays Artemis’ protector and advisor. Finally, Judi Dench adds a dose of class as Holly’s no-nonsense boss.

It has taken Artemis Fowl nearly 20 years to traverse the route from page to screen and one senses that neither fans nor newcomers will be especially pleased with the end result. Recognizing that the film faced rough seas, Disney postponed the movie’s originally planned August 2019 release to May 2020 then, when the coronavirus made that impossible, the studio elected to shift the film to its Disney+ platform. Although partially a face-saving gesture (Artemis Fowl would likely have had a similar box office reception to Disney’s underwhelming 2018 release, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms), it at least allows the film to find a large audience in a low-pressure situation.

The bottom line seems to be that, while Disney has shown an aptitude for making many different kinds of movies, fantasy epics aren’t among them. This is one genre the Magic Kingdom should perhaps avoid, leaving such properties to studios that have shown better success (such as Warner Brothers). Artemis Fowl could have been the beginning of a movie franchise but, based on the first installment, it’s more likely a one-and-done outing. Disney can't quite get away from the John Carters can they?


THIS FILM IS AN EXCEPTIONAL BOMB
  
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Mothergamer (1558 KP) rated the PC version of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim in Video Games

Apr 3, 2019  
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
2011 | Role-Playing
I know. How is it that I had never played Skyrim until now? Many of my friends asked this. The only answer I have is that I had a ton of other games I was playing at the time so I just never got around to it. With the remaster, I figured this would be a great time to play it so I got the special edition for PS4 and I was excited to start my adventure.

 Having ten different races to choose from is very cool and I decided on Wood Elf for my first play through, but for my next one I do want to play as a Khajiit (cat race) because they sound quite interesting. I was a little disappointed while creating my Wood Elf that the faces looked rather harsh and every expression looked like she was angry and ready to smash your face. It wasn't a big deal, but I wondered about the idea behind that design. Having played Elder Scrolls Online, the character design for the Elves has improved a lot, so maybe it had something to do with their design engine.
I did manage to create my character the way I liked eventually and once I was satisfied, I decided it was time for Pirotess to start her adventure (yes, I'm a Record of Lodoss War fan so I'm always Pirotess) and start exploring the world of Tamriel.



My Wood Elf Pirotess, ready for adventure!

 There is so much to see and do in Skyrim. The game itself is huge and then you add the DLCs and there's even more to do. I got the initial introduction tutorial out of the way and the set up for the main story and then I ran around picking up quests. Between the radiant quests, side quests, and guild quests you never run out of adventures. I liked the Thieves Guild quests a lot because the story line for it was interesting. The Dark Brotherhood quests were also fun to do because of the great story content. My favorite armor was the Nightingale armor which was a reward for completing the Thieves Guild story line. I also liked my Dark Brotherhood mount which I jokingly called demon horse. His name was Shadowmere however and he was cool. He would go everywhere with me and he would even fight enemies with me which I thought was fantastic.



The Nightingale armor is the best!

If you want to take a break from adventuring, you can do things like crafting or build your own house with the Hearthfire DLC. You can also get married and adopt children with Hearthfire. This was one of the things that I found showed off the beauty of the gameplay in Skyrim. You can do as much or as little of the main story quests as you want. You can just run around crafting things, do side quests, or go hunting dragons. It's entirely up to you and gives you a vast amount of freedom for exploration and discovery. For me, it made the game a lot of fun and I just enjoyed running around discovering new places.

I also loved battling all the dragons and finding all the dragon shouts for my Dragonborn character. The battles are epic and the controls handle very smoothly. I love it when a game has great game controls and good camera angles. It definitely makes fighting a huge dragon easier. I enjoyed playing with all the different dragon shouts seeing what each one did. My favorites were frost breath and dragon aspect. Because of that exploration freedom level grinding was not a chore at all. I was just having fun and enjoying the game.



Taking down a dragon.

The environments are beautiful. I would find myself stopping often just to look around the different areas I was in because they are so well done. Whether it was a forest, snowy peak, or Dwarven ruin it always looked amazing and no two places looked alike. The musical soundtrack is amazing too setting the right atmosphere for each moment in the game.
 You get followers too, but you can only have one at a time with you. Unfortunately if they die, they're dead for good unless you have the mods. I learned that the hard way with a couple of mine as they suffered from death by dragon. Most of the time, I just wandered alone because sometimes the followers would do stupid things like step on a switch and set off a trap. Once in a while I would take a follower with me just to change things up, usually a mage because they were useful for fighting dragons.



A beautiful view in Skyrim.

I enjoyed the main story in Skyrim as well. The lore was intriguing and some of the reveals about certain characters made for a great story. I also liked that a couple of the dragons were allies of a sort. I thought the dragon Paarthurnax was very cool and learning a few dragon shouts from him was fun. I was also thrilled that Pirotess got to fly on a dragon also. It was quite a sight! I finished the main story and it was a great finish to a fantastic story.



Pirotess chatting with Paarthurnax.

While the main story is finished, there's still a ton of things for me to do. I'm currently playing the Dawnguard and Dragonborn DLC as well as more side quests. I'm also enjoying crafting and building my houses with the Hearthfire DLC. For me, Skyrim is a blast to play and I love that there's always something going on and I continue to explore and have fun. There's always interesting things to see and I can't wait to play as a Khajiit for my next play through. Skyrim is a great game and I'm glad I finally got a chance to play it.
  
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Jordan Binkerd (567 KP) rated American Vampire, Vol. 6 in Books

Jul 21, 2019 (Updated Jul 21, 2019)  
Good variety of stories and art (0 more)
Not all the art works (for me) (1 more)
Adult content.... but if you made it this far in the series, that's not a surprise
Filler Anthology, but still fun...
Note: this review is transposted from my personal review blog, and so was originally written several years ago.

So, it has come to this. The sixth and latest collection of American Vampire comics. Now it’s not just my library’s slow acquisition policies holding me back, but the fact that there haven’t been any more published yet! Apparently the creators put the book on hiatus for a while, but they’ve at least started publishing again. I just have to wait for it to hit the collections….This particular collection is a couple of one-shots they put out in the meantime to keep our appetites whetted–one from the main American Vampire team, one with them letting a whole bunch of other comics creators play in their sandbox. Obviously, this review could spoil events from the previous collections.

First off, we have THE LONG ROAD TO HELL. Snyder and Albuquerque set out the story for this one together, with Albuquerque taking over to script and draw the story. Billy Bob and Jo are the Bonnie and Clyde of petty thieves, picking pockets by night to add to their stash. They’re hoping to have enough soon to cover the cost of renting a chapel, but one fateful encounter with a vampire coven recruitment team and everything changes…not for the better, I’m afraid. Jasper Miller is a young orphan, favorite target of a group of bullies. It seems that young Jasper is a very insightful young man, and some of what he knows makes these bullies very nervous, and he decides that the open road would be safer for him than the old orphanage. Vampire hunter Travis Kidd we’ve already met back in Vol. IV, and it’s good to see that he survived the ambush he willingly dove into at the end of that book. Seems to have picked up a katana somewhere in the interim too, which is always cool. Fate has these four on a collision course, and blood will be spilled by the time they reach the end of the road….

Moving on to the American Vampire Anthology, we open with the frame story by Snyder and Albuquerque. THE MAN COMES AROUND is set in 1967 as Skinner Sweet hides out in the middle of nowhere, hoping to avoid the major events he can sense just over the horizon. Seems there’s always someone trying to kill him, though…. Jason Aaron and Declan Shalvey then enlighten us as to what really happened on Roanoke Island in THE LOST COLONY. Here’s a hint, vampires were involved. We then move on to BLEEDING KANSAS, where Albuquerque puts down his pencil and takes a shot at writing the story, leaving the art to Ivo Milazzo. Set against that tumultuous time and place, Albuquerque and Milazzo set down for us a tale of what I can only assume are Henry Jones’ grandparents. Next up, Jeff Lemire and Ray Fawkes serve up a tale of terror in the frozen north with CANADIAN VAMPIRE as ex-Mountie-turned-bounty-hunter Jack Warhammer is hired to find out what happened to a German fur trading expedition missing in the wild. Becky Cloonan handles both the writing and art for GREED, starring Skinner Sweet and featuring his first encounter with those crazy folks who hail from a place called “Hollywood….” Francesco Francavilla then pulls the same trick for THE PRODUCERS, detailing the birth of a star as he makes a shady deal in exchange for fame and fortune. Gail Simone and Tula Lotay treat us to Hattie Hargrove’s origin story in ESSENCE OF LIFE, showing us just what happened to her that made her willing to screw over her best friend in the world. Gabriel Ba and Fabio Moon share both the writing and artist credits for LAST NIGHT, as a lounge singer describes to a reporter the events leading up to the previous evening’s massacre at the club. Finally, Greg Rucka and JP Leon tell the tale of a dying drunk and the lowlifes who try and shanghai him in PORTLAND, 1940.

On the whole, I really enjoyed this as per the usual for this series. The writing was stellar, and the anthology format really served well for the world being depicted. As with any comics anthology, there’s a wide variety of artistic styles represented, and some of those styles I’m not really a fan of, but that’s largely a matter of taste. I could sit here and tell you that I really wasn’t a fan of Ivo Milazzo’s art on BLEEDING KANSAS (which is true), but the next guy might have loved it. I could laud Tula Lotay’s work on ESSENCE OF LIFE (also true), but the next guy may not have been a fan. That’s kind of how it works–peoples’ tastes are pretty subjective. I did enjoy getting into Hattie’s head a bit more than we were able to back when she was introduced, and Skinner Sweet’s adventures are always fun–I’ve mentioned before my weakness for antiheroes. As a historian, Roanoke’s lost colony is always a fascinating topic, and a number of the plot twists contained here were very satisfying if not always surprising. I really can’t wait for the next volume to come out so I can see the payoff to some of the plot threads being set up both here and in the teaser from the end of volume V….

CONTENT: R-rated language. Brutal, bloody vampire violence–these aren’t sparkly, angst-ridden pretty boys, these are monsters through and through. Some explicit and implicit sexual content, including what more or less constitutes a rape. No real occult content, as there isn’t a spiritual element to this version of vampirism.

Original review link: https://jordanbinkerd.wordpress.com/2014/08/15/review-american-vampire-volume-vi-by-scott-snyder-rafael-albuquerque/
  
The Druid Master
The Druid Master
2021 | Card Game
When it comes to fantasy worlds, I often think of powerful parties going on epic adventures – fighting monsters, delving through dungeons, and saving the world! But what about when the adventure is over and the party comes home? What do they do in their day-to-day lives? Well, The Druid Master helps give us a glimpse into the regular life of a Druid. Being the local healer might not always be glamorous, but hey, it’s a living!

Disclaimer: We were provided a PnP of The Druid Master for the purposes of this preview. The artwork and design of the cards is not yet finalized, so what you see pictured below is not necessarily what the production copies will look like. It is also important to note that although the game is about natural medicines/remedies, it does not replace professional medical advice and treatments. -L

In The Druid Master, players will take on the roles of (you guessed it) Druids who have mastered the ancient arts of healing, through use of plants, herbs, and other natural elements. Ailing patients will come to you (and your rivals) for help, so you must work quickly to concoct the most effective remedy to heal them back to normal! To setup for a game, each player receives a Player Screen, 1 Effect card, and 7 Plant cards. The remaining Effect and Plant cards are shuffled to form draw decks, and the Event deck is placed nearby as well. Place the deck of Patient cards facedown within reach of all players, and set the Cure tokens to the side. The game is now ready to begin!

Over the course of 8 rounds, players will be using Plant and Effect cards to best help the ailing Patient for each given round. Once the 8th and final Patient card has been resolved, points will be counted to determine the ultimate Druid Master! To start a round, an Event card will be revealed. These Events will alter the round in some way, putting your strategic thinking to the test. For example, an Event card might limit the number of cards you can play this round. After the Event is resolved, the Patient card will be revealed for all players to see. The Patient will have a list of symptoms/ailments, with a percentage corresponding to the severity of the issue. Each player will then secretly select 1-3 Plant cards from their hand to be used to heal the Patient. The different Plant cards offer remedies for the various symptoms/ailments, and also list a corresponding percentage as to how much it will help. Effect cards can also be used during this phase of the game to obtain bonuses/negatively affect opponents. Use them wisely!


Once everyone is ready, all Plant cards will be revealed, and players will determine who has best cured the Patient. Compare the percentages on your Plant cards against those of the Patient – if you have failed to completely cure a symptom, take a Cure token that represents the missing percentages from your played cure. When all Plant cards have been checked, the player that was able to Cure the Patient completely (was able to match all Patient percentages with their played Plant cards) is the winner of the round. They will take the Patient card for end-game scoring. If nobody completely Cured the Patient, the player who accumulated the least number of Cure tokens (thus curing the most Patient percentages of the group) wins the round and collects the Patient card. All Plant and Effect cards used this round are discarded, and each player will draw 2 new Plant cards for the next round. Play continues in this fashion until the 8th Patient has been Cured. Players will count up their points earned from Cured Patients, and the player with the highest score is named the winning Druid Master!
I should say right off the bat that I’m not really a person who is into natural medicine. But my personal preferences do not stop me from playing and enjoying The Druid Master. If you think about it, natural medicine is very thematically appropriate for fantasy worlds, so it makes sense in this setting. Ok, so what about the gameplay? It is very straight-forward, which lends itself to fast teaching, learning, and playing. Ultimately, you are trying to match your Plant cards as best you can to the Patient card in play. And since you can only play a maximum of 3 cards each round, you really have to consider your options. If you aren’t able to completely Cure the Patient, can you play your Plant cards in such a way that you will collect the fewest Cure tokens? It’s all about how you strategize. Another thing that I really like about the gameplay is that all Plant cards are selected secretly and revealed simultaneously. So nobody is at an advantage by being able to see that an opponent was not 100% successful. It adds a little element of risk and hidden information to the game that makes it more engaging.


As I mentioned earlier, this is a PnP version of the game, so these components are not what will be received in a production copy. Also, the card layouts and artwork are not completely finalized either. But going on what I have, I do like the simplicity of the components. The symbolism is clear, the percentages are easy to read, and the text/pictures are informational as well. Once this game is printed on real cards and with cardboard tokens, I know it will be a decent quality production.
So overall, how does The Druid Master fare? I’d say fairly well. The rules and gameplay are straight-forward, it is fast and easy to teach and play, and it keeps all players engaged throughout the entire game. This is certainly not the most complicated or heavy game in existence, but it does offer hints of strategy that will keep the gameplay fresh and players invested. If you are looking for a nice little filler-type game set in a fantasy realm, I would recommend checking out The Druid Master. It is coming to Kickstarter soon, so be on the lookout!