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Ready or Not (2019)
Ready or Not (2019)
2019 | Comedy, Horror, Mystery
Samara Weaving (0 more)
Ready or Not opens with a gleefully intense and shocking scene. It serves to give us a taste of the kind of twisted games that usually play out within the confines of huge gothic mansion owned by the eccentric Le Domas family, who made their fortune in the board game business. If you've seen the trailer, then you'll know that Ready or Not is basically just Hide and Seek, but with deathly consequences. However, this short, sharp introduction leaves you in no doubt as to just how far the Le Domas family will go in order to win the game.

Cut to a more happier time as Grace (Samara Weaving, niece of Hugo Weaving) is preparing to marry into the Le Domas dynasty. Her husband to be is Alex (Mark O'Brien), estranged son who has now returned to the family home where the ceremony will be taking place. As a foster child, Grace yearns to become part of a more permanent family and is concerned that she won't be accepted by the Le Domas clan, not helped by the cold scowl she gets from a seriously creepy looking Aunt Helene.

We rejoin Grace and Alex later that evening, now married. But Grace discovers that rather than retire to bed with her new husband, they must join the family downstairs and partake in a wedding night tradition which will see her officially becoming a Le Domas - she has to play a game. Wanting nothing more than to fit in with her new in-laws, Grace goes along with it all as patriarch Tony (Henry Czerny) explains how the tradition will play out. The game they must play is selected at random from a box that has been passed down through the generations after it was originally given to the family by mysterious benefactor, Mr. Le Bail. The wife of eldest son Daniel got Chess, the husband of daughter Emilie got Old Maid, so it really is anyone's guess what the mystery game will be! All of the siblings and their spouse's are in attendance for the game and watch on as Grace draws... Hide and Seek, the one game which results in death!

Not realising the seriousness of her choice, Tony explains to Grace that in order to win the game she must remain hidden until dawn, and she laughs it off. An old vinyl hide and seek record begins playing, giving Grace the time to go find a suitable hiding place, and she winds up climbing into a dumb waiter to hide. But, she soon gets bored and decides to go wandering around the huge house. It's not long though until she discovers that the family members have equipped themselves with shotguns, axes and crossbows... and they're not afraid to use them! Turns out, the family believe that if they don’t kill Grace by dawn, a terrible fate will befall them all.

What follows is an intense game of cat and mouse, with a good dose of gore and dark humour thrown in. One minute we're holding our breath as Grace tries to quietly avoid a member of the family, the next we're cutting to the other family members, who are mostly completely incompetent - bickering between themselves or watching a YouTube crash course on how to use a crossbow! Ready or Not manages to juggle the different tones effortlessly, and brilliantly, as Grace goes from terrified scream queen in a pristine white wedding dress, to blood-soaked badass wearing a pair of old converse and brandishing a shotgun. She's the latest in a long line of great female survivors, played to perfection by Samara Weaving. If you liked 2011 movie 'You're Next', then Ready or Not reminded me of that in many ways.

The gothic setting and the suitably wonderful score by Brian Tyler (usually found providing music for MCU movies) all adds to what is a wonderfully short (95 minute), but perfectly paced, completely bonkers thrill ride.
  
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Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated The Lady In The Van (2015) in Movies

Jun 11, 2019 (Updated Jun 11, 2019)  
The Lady In The Van (2015)
The Lady In The Van (2015)
2015 | Drama
4
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Like a particularly lethargic sloth
Cinema has a long lasting love of people having their homes invaded by unwanted intruders, and not just because that’s how most directors view anyone who tries to tell them their opinion on filmmaking. It’s because there’s a lot of different directions one can take with the drama and excitement of home invasion. The horror of Wait Until Dark, the brutality of Straw Dogs, the silliness of Home Alone, the potential is quite large. And now throwing in its own interpretation of this theme is The Lady in the Van, based on the somewhat true story of Alan Bennett’s relationship with a transient woman who parked her van on his driveway. So, how does he and the audience respond?

With a dull, mild curiosity.

Despite being from the viewpoint of two Alan Bennetts, described as one being the writer and the other living the life, the main character is Miss Sheppard, the lady in the van. The film insists that we should be interested in her mysterious life, her past as a pianist and a nun, and why she chooses to live in the van, but throughout most of the film I was only thinking “Oh, let’s just go back and hear Alan Bennett be cynical some more.” The words are witty and sharp, but it’s mostly said about things we don’t care about. Miss Sheppard is a flat, mostly dull character, and the audience is unwillingly handcuffed to her.

The highlight of the film is its acting, with the cast being a veritable who’s who of Britain’s finest talent, and James Corden. What dimension Miss Sheppard has is provided almost entirely by the volatile yet vulnerable performance by Maggie Smith, and Alex Jennings is as real an Alan Bennett as the actual Alan Bennett. Even in the small roles, everyone from Roger Allam to Gwen Taylor manage to force themselves to shine. The only bad performance is from, of all people, Jim Broadbent, who pops up to antagonise Miss Sheppard but appears less like a real human being and more like a cartoon supervillain. For a second, I thought the character’s name was Baron von Drakkhen.

But great players cannot save a bad game, and the story of the film is flat, predictable and boring. If you don’t immediately care about Miss Sheppard, then the film becomes more tedious and lifeless by the second. I guessed long before the end the mystery behind Miss Sheppard, but even if I hadn’t I would still have been bored due to the lack of any interest. The film believes that the existence of a mystery to be motivation enough to solve it, which just isn’t the case; I don’t know what John McCririck had for breakfast, but I’m not going to stare at his stools to find out.

Not helping matters is a very by the numbers direction by Nicholas Hytner. While not incompetent, there’s very little in the way of style or flair without being casual. The only parts that show any sort of imagination are the fourth wall breaks, but the best only happen towards the end. It’s a shame that the potential of having two Alan Bennetts and seeing the film from the perspective of the writer only starts to be explored as the film is drawing to a close. Otherwise, a robot could’ve directed this film.

Alan Bennett is a highly praised writer, and rightfully so, but The Lady in the Van just isn’t his best. The above-average but by no means stellar script is tied to a plot as lifeless and sluggish as a particularly lethargic sloth. If you’re really hurting to see Bennett at his best, it’d be a lot cheaper and a lot more entertaining to rent The Madness of King George or The History Boys or even one of The Secret Policeman’s Ball’s, plus you can order some pizza from your sofa. Otherwise, The Lady in the Van, unlike the real Miss Sheppard, can very safely be ignored.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2015/11/19/like-a-particularly-lethargic-sloth-the-lady-in-the-van-review/