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LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Jurassic Park III (2001) in Movies
May 24, 2019
This is where the sequels really start coming off the rails
The third Jurassic Park movie is pretty poor. For multiple reasons.
The main reason has to be the script - it has to be - because the acting talent is not bad by any means.
Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Tea Leoni - all great actors in my opinion.
But it's hard to connect with any of them throughout the run time (I swear I hear her shouting "ERIC" in my sleep sometimes)
A lot (not all) of the practical dinosaurs have been replaced with shoddy CGI, and to top it all off, the movie just ends. Very suddenly! And I can't figure out why... It's a good deal shorter in run time than the first two. Maybe Joe Johnston just got bored.
On a final note, is a velociraptor talking a low point for the franchise? Or hilariously great? You decide (ALAN)
The main reason has to be the script - it has to be - because the acting talent is not bad by any means.
Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Tea Leoni - all great actors in my opinion.
But it's hard to connect with any of them throughout the run time (I swear I hear her shouting "ERIC" in my sleep sometimes)
A lot (not all) of the practical dinosaurs have been replaced with shoddy CGI, and to top it all off, the movie just ends. Very suddenly! And I can't figure out why... It's a good deal shorter in run time than the first two. Maybe Joe Johnston just got bored.
On a final note, is a velociraptor talking a low point for the franchise? Or hilariously great? You decide (ALAN)
Awix (3310 KP) rated Battle: Los Angeles (2011) in Movies
Feb 22, 2018
Ho-hum attempt to disguise a load of war movie clichés by hiding them in an alien invasion SF movie, or possibly vice versa. Belligerent alien gits come storming up the beaches of California and it's up to Aaron Eckhart and his guys to hold the line.
Very much just a collection of other bits you've seen done better elsewhere, inasmuch they can be done better at all considering they're really not very impressive per se. Watching as a non-American, one is inevitably slightly put off by the uncritical wooh-yeah-hurray attitude towards members of the US armed forces, who are almost universally presented as flawless paragons of virtue, not to mention the post-9/11 subtext that sometimes it is morally justified to do Bad Stuff (torturing prisoners to death, that sort of thing) in the defence of America. Also quite boring.
Very much just a collection of other bits you've seen done better elsewhere, inasmuch they can be done better at all considering they're really not very impressive per se. Watching as a non-American, one is inevitably slightly put off by the uncritical wooh-yeah-hurray attitude towards members of the US armed forces, who are almost universally presented as flawless paragons of virtue, not to mention the post-9/11 subtext that sometimes it is morally justified to do Bad Stuff (torturing prisoners to death, that sort of thing) in the defence of America. Also quite boring.
Awix (3310 KP) rated Immortals (2011) in Movies
Feb 11, 2018 (Updated Feb 11, 2018)
Give it a Myth
Garishly CGI'd, savagely violent fantasy movie apparently aimed at people who thought 300 showed too much subtlety and restraint. Bad guy Hyperion (Mickey Rourke in a selection of funny hats) is out to destroy the world by releasing the Titans from their prison; the gods of Olympus can't intervene directly (one wonders why not) and get Henry Cavill to stop him instead.
By turns predictable and inept, and with some of the weirdest production designs ever seen in a mainstream movie, the sheer unevenness of Immortals gives it a certain novelty value to begin with, but the succession of scenes featuring eyes being gouged out, tongues removed, women roasted alive, men castrated with sledgehammers, and so on, quickly become wearing more than anything else. A bit like watching a cross between cut-scenes from Mortal Kombat and an off-year staging of the Eurovision Song Contest.
By turns predictable and inept, and with some of the weirdest production designs ever seen in a mainstream movie, the sheer unevenness of Immortals gives it a certain novelty value to begin with, but the succession of scenes featuring eyes being gouged out, tongues removed, women roasted alive, men castrated with sledgehammers, and so on, quickly become wearing more than anything else. A bit like watching a cross between cut-scenes from Mortal Kombat and an off-year staging of the Eurovision Song Contest.
LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated Airplane 2 - The Sequel (1982) in Movies
Sep 21, 2020
Some of the William Shatner stuff is funny, apart from that mostly sucks. This is just the same exact movie as the first one almost beat for beat, but worse. Recycles umpteen jokes from the first film, recycles jokes from itself, then recycles jokes that it already recycled from the first film again... time. and. time. again. Take a shot every time this reuses a joke (which mostly consist of bad 'lol sex funny' gags which wouldn't plague American comedic cinema for at least 20 years after this), rips off the first movie, brings in a previous cast member who clearly doesn't want to be there, or says/does something unfunny - you'll be blackout drunk within 15 minutes, tops. Doubly impressive how this manages to be so limp and forgettable considering it's a supposed sequel to one of the most hilarious and memorable movies of all time. Raw cringe.
Awix (3310 KP) rated The Brood (1979) in Movies
Oct 24, 2020
Key Cronenberg movie starts off relatively restrained but ends up with a festival of bonkers ickiness. A man in the middle of a custody battle finds people connected to his ex-wife are being murdered by deformed child-like dwarves with weird, non-human anatomies. Can unorthodox psychiatrist Oliver Reed shed light on the situation?
Undeniably a horror movie, but one rich in subtext and metaphor, as well as containing several ew-that's-unbelievably-gross moments. (Students of the director may also wonder just how bad his divorce must have been.) Less Oliver Reed than you might hope for, but a remarkable performance from Samantha Eggar, and a great many memorable and disturbing sequences. Works on all sorts of levels, though some people may struggle to see past the more graphic aspects of the film. Still, this is horror done with brains and style.
Undeniably a horror movie, but one rich in subtext and metaphor, as well as containing several ew-that's-unbelievably-gross moments. (Students of the director may also wonder just how bad his divorce must have been.) Less Oliver Reed than you might hope for, but a remarkable performance from Samantha Eggar, and a great many memorable and disturbing sequences. Works on all sorts of levels, though some people may struggle to see past the more graphic aspects of the film. Still, this is horror done with brains and style.
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated The Call Of The Wild (2020) in Movies
Jun 3, 2020
We Named The Dog Indiana
The Call of The Wild- The movie has intresting CGI, which mean all of animals and the adventure is CGI and you can tell. Some of CGI is good, the other CGI is bad. But it is Harrison Ford with a dog so thats cool. Just wish the dog was named Indiana. Would of made this movie better, but Buck is cool.
The plot: Buck is a big-hearted dog whose blissful domestic life gets turned upside down when he is suddenly uprooted from his California home and transplanted to the exotic wilds of the Alaskan Yukon in the 1890s. As the newest rookie on a mail-delivery dog sled team, Buck experiences the adventure of a lifetime as he ultimately finds his true place in the world.
A unique adventure about a dog adventure and journey. Its fun, entertaining and overall a good adventure.
The plot: Buck is a big-hearted dog whose blissful domestic life gets turned upside down when he is suddenly uprooted from his California home and transplanted to the exotic wilds of the Alaskan Yukon in the 1890s. As the newest rookie on a mail-delivery dog sled team, Buck experiences the adventure of a lifetime as he ultimately finds his true place in the world.
A unique adventure about a dog adventure and journey. Its fun, entertaining and overall a good adventure.
David McK (3557 KP) rated Kingdom of Heaven (2005) in Movies
Feb 5, 2022
Watch the Directors Cut instead.
I remember that, back in the early 2000s, there was a sudden surge in the 'Historical epic' sub genre of movies, largely as a result of 2000s 'Gladiator'
This was one such movie.
Set in a little known period of history, between the Second and Third Crusades, this follows the exploits of the blacksmith Balian (Orlando Bloom), who follows his estranged father Baron Godfrey (Liam Neeson) to Jerusalem to attempt to atone for his sins.
Of course, being a movie, he then goes on to be involved in many great events, from shipwreck to meeting Saladin and (eventually) leading the defence if Jerusalem.
Not bad, but maybe a bit long and slow, with The Directors Cut doing a better job of tying the themes together, including a whole subplot largely dropped from the theatrical release regarding the romance he becomes involved in.
This was one such movie.
Set in a little known period of history, between the Second and Third Crusades, this follows the exploits of the blacksmith Balian (Orlando Bloom), who follows his estranged father Baron Godfrey (Liam Neeson) to Jerusalem to attempt to atone for his sins.
Of course, being a movie, he then goes on to be involved in many great events, from shipwreck to meeting Saladin and (eventually) leading the defence if Jerusalem.
Not bad, but maybe a bit long and slow, with The Directors Cut doing a better job of tying the themes together, including a whole subplot largely dropped from the theatrical release regarding the romance he becomes involved in.
KyleQ (267 KP) rated Halloween Kills (2021) in Movies
Jan 16, 2022 (Updated Apr 2, 2023)
Unfortunately awful.
Following the successful 2018 reboot, Halloween Kills picks up with Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) being rushed to the hospital as Michal Myers is found alive within the wreckage of her burnt-down house.
Halloween Kills has very little plot, characters are quickly introduced just to suffer random brutal deaths.
Jamie Lee Curtis is barely in this movie, being confined to a hospital bed.
The choreography for the various kills is bad, in one scene Michael kicks a door to deflect a gun, making a woman shoot herself. Our frightening slasher is fighting like Jason Statham now.
There are zero surprises. Anthony Michael Hall plays Tommy Doyle, the boy from the original movie. But the character has been ruined. He's an angry hick, inciting a riot to kill the wrong man.
Halloween Kills is a brainless sequel, save yourself and skip it.
Halloween Kills has very little plot, characters are quickly introduced just to suffer random brutal deaths.
Jamie Lee Curtis is barely in this movie, being confined to a hospital bed.
The choreography for the various kills is bad, in one scene Michael kicks a door to deflect a gun, making a woman shoot herself. Our frightening slasher is fighting like Jason Statham now.
There are zero surprises. Anthony Michael Hall plays Tommy Doyle, the boy from the original movie. But the character has been ruined. He's an angry hick, inciting a riot to kill the wrong man.
Halloween Kills is a brainless sequel, save yourself and skip it.
Dingbat horror movie from him what made Get Out. A nice middle-class family goes on holiday to their beach house, but soon disturbing memories are a-stirring and their evil doppelgangers are blocking up the driveway.
One is often tempted to wonder what inspired a particular film. In this case I would hazard a guess it was somebody giving Jordan Peele $20 million and him vaguely remembering a nightmare he had the previous week, which (lacking any other ideas) he turned into a script. Being terrorised in your home by a brutish double is a great idea, but difficult to get a full-length movie out of, which may be why the film largely abandons logic and plausibility in its second half in favour of the fractured reality of a bad dream.
That said, I enjoyed the sheer madness of the escalating storyline even though I didn't honestly find it that scary. Some great performances and some good jokes along the way, but it feels more like an experiment in pushing narrative boundaries than a serious attempt at a horror movie. Nutty but fun.
One is often tempted to wonder what inspired a particular film. In this case I would hazard a guess it was somebody giving Jordan Peele $20 million and him vaguely remembering a nightmare he had the previous week, which (lacking any other ideas) he turned into a script. Being terrorised in your home by a brutish double is a great idea, but difficult to get a full-length movie out of, which may be why the film largely abandons logic and plausibility in its second half in favour of the fractured reality of a bad dream.
That said, I enjoyed the sheer madness of the escalating storyline even though I didn't honestly find it that scary. Some great performances and some good jokes along the way, but it feels more like an experiment in pushing narrative boundaries than a serious attempt at a horror movie. Nutty but fun.
Awix (3310 KP) rated Battleship (2012) in Movies
Mar 7, 2018 (Updated Mar 7, 2018)
Zombie reflexes in the Hollywood blockbuster machine sputtered into a grisly half-life and pondered the question 'if movies about the Transformers toys make so much money, what other toy/game based rubbish can we railroad audiences into going to see?' And the answer that came back was 'let's do a movie based on Battleship, featuring the pop-star Rihanna'.
Utterly dimwitted action blockbuster and Michael Bay pastiche; the weird thing is that Michael Bay pastiches are marginally better than actual Michael Bay films, mainly because if your starting point is a Michael Bay film the only way is up. This is still insultingly stupid. The actors deserve some kind of credit for getting through the film with straight faces, given it includes a laboriously contrived sequence where the characters are basically playing real-life Battleships against the aliens. Somehow made even worse by the way it fawns over members of the military (subtext being that it's unpatriotic not to like this movie). The special effects are not too bad but considering this is a movie with a $210 million budget that's like saying they remembered to put film in the camera.
Utterly dimwitted action blockbuster and Michael Bay pastiche; the weird thing is that Michael Bay pastiches are marginally better than actual Michael Bay films, mainly because if your starting point is a Michael Bay film the only way is up. This is still insultingly stupid. The actors deserve some kind of credit for getting through the film with straight faces, given it includes a laboriously contrived sequence where the characters are basically playing real-life Battleships against the aliens. Somehow made even worse by the way it fawns over members of the military (subtext being that it's unpatriotic not to like this movie). The special effects are not too bad but considering this is a movie with a $210 million budget that's like saying they remembered to put film in the camera.