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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated The Golden Compass (2007) in Movies

Sep 20, 2020  
The Golden Compass (2007)
The Golden Compass (2007)
2007 | Action, Drama, Sci-Fi
3
5.7 (15 Ratings)
Movie Rating Watch
Just nukes the ever-loving fuck out of the book. To turn a pretty bloody and challenging series into this hyperincompetent snooze of shit storytelling, genre rehashing, and violently diluted themes (or what's left of them, if anything) should have been criminalized on arrival. Find me anyone who can tell me what the plot of this is or why anything in it happens, this is π˜›π˜©π˜¦ π˜‹π˜’ 𝘝π˜ͺ𝘯𝘀π˜ͺ 𝘊𝘰π˜₯𝘦 of crummy children's fantasy flicks (which were the 2000s answer to the dull, samey YA craze of the 2010s). Oh and those Academy Award winning effects? They're fucking ghoulish. The production is nice but how anyone could think this mess of badly-aged animation and awful greenscreen work looks good is far beyond me. The armored polar bears were pretty dope though, and this wakes up a bit in the weird 15 minutes where a group of crazy institution fanatics start experimenting on children out in like the middle of the arctic for no real reason lmao. But otherwise absolutely not, no thank you.