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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Bermuda Pirates in Tabletop Games
Sep 8, 2021
The Bermuda Triangle. The area within the Atlantic Ocean that is rumored to be home of an aquatic black hole through which people and ships have gone inexplicably missing for years. What an excellent theme for a board game! I must admit, I learned of this game via one of Marco Arnaudo’s con videos and just had to have it. Was I bamboozled or is this a great game? Well, the ratings graphic above spoils that, but why is it so?
Bermuda Pirates pits players against each other in a mad dash to collect a set of colored gems from the middle island and bring them back to the home port first. Pirates (the players) will be encountering whirlpool vortexes along the way and can even place buoys to remind themselves to steer clear. The first player to bring back a whole set of gems successfully will be the winner!
To setup, first place the bracket piece (can only be seen partially in the final photo) in the middle of the table. Next orient the first layer of four square tiles (unseen in photos) on the bracket and then place the game board atop the tiles. Place flags upon the bracket nubs and matching gems at their bases. Each player chooses a color, takes the boat and buoys of that color and places them near the land with the matching dock color. The game may now begin!
On a player’s turn they must begin their journey from their home dock toward the center island to collect gems. They move their boat using one finger at the stern of the boat and pushing it across the board. Players will know when the boat has hit a hidden whirlpool when the magnets within the boat and within the board meet and create sudden resistance. The player may then place a buoy on that spot to remind themselves, and opponents, where a potential whirlpool spot is located. Should the player make a whirlpool-free trek to the central island, they must dock and collect a gem. From here the player must decide to either return back to their home dock to bank the gem or continue to collect gems before returning home.
Once a player has decided to return home with gem(s) aboard, they must take care not to hit whirlpools along the way because once the boat and whirlpool meet the boat will stop and the gems will fly across the board or even off the board. Those gems that land in the sea stay on the board to be collected by ANY player, and those gems that leave the board are lost forever. Herein lies the fun of Bermuda Pirates. Seeing gems flying will give players of any age and ability a giant piratey smile. The game ends once all players have had an equal amount of turns, and those pirates who have collected a set of one gem of each color will be the winners!
Components. I would certainly be remiss if I did not congratulate the designer and manufacturer of Bermuda Pirates for an absolutely gorgeous game with ingenious components. You see, the magnets that trip up the boats are hidden within that first layer of tiles that are placed on the bracket underneath the main game board. But even if you were to inspect these tiles, you would not necessarily know exactly where the magnets are placed. So every game will be different because of the order and orientation of the tiles setup. Bravo! Truly wonderful outside-the-box designing here. Yes, all the cardboard and plastic pieces are also great quality, but the ingenuity is what makes this one special.
I cannot say enough good things about Bermuda Pirates. My 4-year-old has a BLAST playing this one (even though the box says 7+. Shh, don’t tell anyone)! Seeing his face light up every time the gems go a-flying is just pure joy for a parent. Even when my wife and I played just the two of us, we were smiling the entire time we played. It’s that kind of game.
Bermuda Pirates will probably never reach my Top 10 Games of All Time list, but I certainly will hold onto it and cherish it in my collection. I think this game can work with any group of gamers of any skill or experience level. It is simply a joy to play as you push along your little boat hoping upon hope not to run into the whirlpool and have your four gems strewn about the ocean. Or placing the buoys just ever so slightly in the wrong location so that your opponents accidentally run into the whirlpool by trying a tangential approach. My family loves this game, and that is why Purple Phoenix Games gives this a very family-friendly piratey 10 / 12. If you are looking for something light and dextrous, with a great theme and excellent production quality, please check out Bermuda Pirates. It will definitely be a hit with anyone you introduce to it.
Bermuda Pirates pits players against each other in a mad dash to collect a set of colored gems from the middle island and bring them back to the home port first. Pirates (the players) will be encountering whirlpool vortexes along the way and can even place buoys to remind themselves to steer clear. The first player to bring back a whole set of gems successfully will be the winner!
To setup, first place the bracket piece (can only be seen partially in the final photo) in the middle of the table. Next orient the first layer of four square tiles (unseen in photos) on the bracket and then place the game board atop the tiles. Place flags upon the bracket nubs and matching gems at their bases. Each player chooses a color, takes the boat and buoys of that color and places them near the land with the matching dock color. The game may now begin!
On a player’s turn they must begin their journey from their home dock toward the center island to collect gems. They move their boat using one finger at the stern of the boat and pushing it across the board. Players will know when the boat has hit a hidden whirlpool when the magnets within the boat and within the board meet and create sudden resistance. The player may then place a buoy on that spot to remind themselves, and opponents, where a potential whirlpool spot is located. Should the player make a whirlpool-free trek to the central island, they must dock and collect a gem. From here the player must decide to either return back to their home dock to bank the gem or continue to collect gems before returning home.
Once a player has decided to return home with gem(s) aboard, they must take care not to hit whirlpools along the way because once the boat and whirlpool meet the boat will stop and the gems will fly across the board or even off the board. Those gems that land in the sea stay on the board to be collected by ANY player, and those gems that leave the board are lost forever. Herein lies the fun of Bermuda Pirates. Seeing gems flying will give players of any age and ability a giant piratey smile. The game ends once all players have had an equal amount of turns, and those pirates who have collected a set of one gem of each color will be the winners!
Components. I would certainly be remiss if I did not congratulate the designer and manufacturer of Bermuda Pirates for an absolutely gorgeous game with ingenious components. You see, the magnets that trip up the boats are hidden within that first layer of tiles that are placed on the bracket underneath the main game board. But even if you were to inspect these tiles, you would not necessarily know exactly where the magnets are placed. So every game will be different because of the order and orientation of the tiles setup. Bravo! Truly wonderful outside-the-box designing here. Yes, all the cardboard and plastic pieces are also great quality, but the ingenuity is what makes this one special.
I cannot say enough good things about Bermuda Pirates. My 4-year-old has a BLAST playing this one (even though the box says 7+. Shh, don’t tell anyone)! Seeing his face light up every time the gems go a-flying is just pure joy for a parent. Even when my wife and I played just the two of us, we were smiling the entire time we played. It’s that kind of game.
Bermuda Pirates will probably never reach my Top 10 Games of All Time list, but I certainly will hold onto it and cherish it in my collection. I think this game can work with any group of gamers of any skill or experience level. It is simply a joy to play as you push along your little boat hoping upon hope not to run into the whirlpool and have your four gems strewn about the ocean. Or placing the buoys just ever so slightly in the wrong location so that your opponents accidentally run into the whirlpool by trying a tangential approach. My family loves this game, and that is why Purple Phoenix Games gives this a very family-friendly piratey 10 / 12. If you are looking for something light and dextrous, with a great theme and excellent production quality, please check out Bermuda Pirates. It will definitely be a hit with anyone you introduce to it.
5 Minute Movie Guy (379 KP) rated Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) in Movies
Jun 29, 2019
There's a lot of good, fun, over-the-top, explosive action! (2 more)
Age of Extinction features an incredible showcase of special effects.
Great acting from Tucci and Grammar, and a solid new star for the franchise with Mark Wahlberg.
With a 2 hour and 45 minute run-time, the movie goes on far too long and loses steam before the finale. (1 more)
The plot is completely overloaded with enough content to easily cover two films.
Transformers: Age of Extinction is a fun summer movie that sticks to Michael Bay's usual mode of operation, but it's jam-packed and overly ambitious, stretching the run time far longer than it ever should.
After the events of Transformers: Dark of the Moon, referred to in the film as The Battle of Chicago, the surviving Autobots are being hunted to extinction. The United States government is bent on exterminating all Transformers, good and bad, believing them to be an unwelcome global threat. All the while, the hypocritical government has simultaneously partnered with a wealthy inventor who is trying to create his own superior, man-made variations of Transformers. Furthermore, they’re working with the help of the Transformer bounty hunter Lockdown to search out and annihilate Optimus Prime, the famed leader of the Autobots. Prime has been forced into hiding and has sent out a distress call encouraging his comrades to follow suit. When amateur inventor Cade Yeager inadvertently stumbles upon a disguised Optimus Prime, he helps to repair the damaged Transformer who must reunite with his remaining allies to fight for their right to live.
Before I dive into this review, I think I should inform you that I have not seen any of the previous Transformers movies. I should also note that I’m something of a Transformers hater. Despite pressure from family and friends who have praised the movie series, I have deliberately avoided every single one of the films. I never liked the cartoon as a kid, and while Transformers’ amalgamation of cars and robots may be a dream combination for most guys, I have very little interest in either. However, as a critic, I cannot let my own biases get in the way of giving fair judgment. After having watched Transformers: Age of Extinction, I can thankfully report that the film actually wasn’t half bad. While it’s not going to make a Transformers fan out of me, it was an entertaining, albeit overly-long, movie-going experience.
Age of Extinction is an action-packed ride, filled with the kind of over-the-top entertainment you would expect from a Michael Bay film. While Bay has developed something of a bad rap, there’s no denying his knack for fun and ridiculous action sequences. He’s a man who spares no expense when it comes to explosions and special effects, and this is where Bay is at his best. Love him or hate him, it’s hard to argue with his results as he’s surely one of the most successful directors of all time. However, clocking in at two hours and forty-five minutes, the high-speed action of Age of Extinction is exhausting and becomes tiresome long before the finale. Even when Bay slows things down, he keeps the camera overly busy with particle effects and constant movement. While all of that looks great in IMAX 3D, it feels like an endless visual barrage that is frankly a lot to take in. How many lens flares must a man endure in one movie? I understand the desire to make every shot exciting and visually striking, but I think Bay is trying to tackle too much on camera.
Similarly, Age of Extinction is trying to squeeze too much into its plot, which could almost be broken up into two entirely separate movies. We have the hunt for Optimus Prime and the Transformers by Lockdown and the CIA; Cade Yeager’s discovery of Prime and their ensuing alliance; the love story between Cade’s daughter and her boyfriend; the emergence of the Dinobots; as well as the man-made construction of new Transformers. The result is a fast-paced action movie that is convoluted and far too long. That’s not to say that what is there is bad, though. Awful love story aside, all of the other components of the story are solid and even pretty interesting. Kelsey Grammer puts in a good performance as the head of the CIA who is responsible for the extermination of the Transformers. Similarly, Stanley Tucci is great as Joshua Joyce, the brilliant inventor who is recreating human-controlled Transformers for military use. Yet I can’t help but think that Joyce’s plot would have been perhaps been better to save for a sequel. Sure, it offers a nice parallel between the two inventors and it also creates an opportunity for them to introduce some all-new Transformers, but aren’t the Dinobots enough? There’s so much going on in the film that the eagerly-anticipated Dinobots aren’t given much screen time at all. There is just an unreasonable amount of narratives going on in this movie, to the point where it’s hard to follow, and even harder to stay interested in. Instead of sitting on the edge of your seat during the climactic showdown, you’re probably going to be looking at your watch and wondering how much longer this movie can possibly go on.
While I’m no expert on Transformers, I think the film does an admirable job in bringing the robotic characters to life. Their appearance and animation are both impressive, and they’re typically a pretty fun bunch. I have to admit, though, that I was a bit jarred by the angry and violent demeanor of Optimus Prime. I thought he was supposed to be the good guy everyone looked up to? In Age of Extinction, he clearly has some anger management issues. While he might be the most skilled warrior out there, he sure doesn’t seem like much of a role model. Peter Cullen, the original voice of Optimus Prime, has one again returned to voice the character. John Goodman gives a stand-out voice performance as Hound, in a role he seemed to have a lot of fun with, and Ken Watanabe voices the Samurai-like Transformer known as Drift. All in all, there are a lot of Transformers in the movie, but there is hardly ample time to get to know most of them. I imagine many of them have been introduced in previous films, but for a newcomer like myself, I had a hard time distinguishing between quite a few of them. Then there are the Dinobots, which look awesome, but we’re not given a chance to know much of anything about them. It’s a shame that they’re reduced to feeling like unnecessary bookends to an already overly-crammed movie.
On the human side of things, Mark Wahlberg is enjoyable as the struggling inventor who scavengers through whatever he can to try to create a breakthrough invention. He brings a charming and heroic presence to his role, making him a character we can identify with and root for as he tries to assist the highly-targeted Transformers. T.J. Miller’s Lucas makes for a mildly humorous companion to Cade, although much of the film’s attempts at comedy feel forced and aren’t very funny. Then there’s Nicola Peltz as the skimpily-dressed, rebellious but brainy and innocent, party girl daughter Tessa. She fits right into Bay’s stereotypical sexist female lead who serves as little more than a damsel in distress and eye candy. Still, I don’t know who is worse; Tessa, or her rally car racing boyfriend Shane, played by Jack Reynor. I felt just as frustrated by them as Wahlberg does playing Tessa’s disgruntled and disapproving father. These two lovebirds are an annoying and unwanted addition that only further drag out the plot. While it was at first vaguely amusing to watch Cade freak out as the over-protective father, that shtick ended up getting old real quick. While Wahlberg makes a good new face for the franchise, I hope to God that he comes alone for the next one.
Transformers: Age of Extinction is a fun summer movie. Director Michael Bay sticks to his usual mode of operation with ridiculous action sequences, top of the line special effects, and a whole lot of explosions. If you’re looking for a movie with more flash than substance, Age of Extinction should be right up your alley. It’s jam-packed and overly ambitious, stretching the run time far longer than it ever should, but if offers plenty of dumb, fun entertainment. Transformers fans should be pleased, although the series still has yet to make a fan out of me.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.22.14.)
Before I dive into this review, I think I should inform you that I have not seen any of the previous Transformers movies. I should also note that I’m something of a Transformers hater. Despite pressure from family and friends who have praised the movie series, I have deliberately avoided every single one of the films. I never liked the cartoon as a kid, and while Transformers’ amalgamation of cars and robots may be a dream combination for most guys, I have very little interest in either. However, as a critic, I cannot let my own biases get in the way of giving fair judgment. After having watched Transformers: Age of Extinction, I can thankfully report that the film actually wasn’t half bad. While it’s not going to make a Transformers fan out of me, it was an entertaining, albeit overly-long, movie-going experience.
Age of Extinction is an action-packed ride, filled with the kind of over-the-top entertainment you would expect from a Michael Bay film. While Bay has developed something of a bad rap, there’s no denying his knack for fun and ridiculous action sequences. He’s a man who spares no expense when it comes to explosions and special effects, and this is where Bay is at his best. Love him or hate him, it’s hard to argue with his results as he’s surely one of the most successful directors of all time. However, clocking in at two hours and forty-five minutes, the high-speed action of Age of Extinction is exhausting and becomes tiresome long before the finale. Even when Bay slows things down, he keeps the camera overly busy with particle effects and constant movement. While all of that looks great in IMAX 3D, it feels like an endless visual barrage that is frankly a lot to take in. How many lens flares must a man endure in one movie? I understand the desire to make every shot exciting and visually striking, but I think Bay is trying to tackle too much on camera.
Similarly, Age of Extinction is trying to squeeze too much into its plot, which could almost be broken up into two entirely separate movies. We have the hunt for Optimus Prime and the Transformers by Lockdown and the CIA; Cade Yeager’s discovery of Prime and their ensuing alliance; the love story between Cade’s daughter and her boyfriend; the emergence of the Dinobots; as well as the man-made construction of new Transformers. The result is a fast-paced action movie that is convoluted and far too long. That’s not to say that what is there is bad, though. Awful love story aside, all of the other components of the story are solid and even pretty interesting. Kelsey Grammer puts in a good performance as the head of the CIA who is responsible for the extermination of the Transformers. Similarly, Stanley Tucci is great as Joshua Joyce, the brilliant inventor who is recreating human-controlled Transformers for military use. Yet I can’t help but think that Joyce’s plot would have been perhaps been better to save for a sequel. Sure, it offers a nice parallel between the two inventors and it also creates an opportunity for them to introduce some all-new Transformers, but aren’t the Dinobots enough? There’s so much going on in the film that the eagerly-anticipated Dinobots aren’t given much screen time at all. There is just an unreasonable amount of narratives going on in this movie, to the point where it’s hard to follow, and even harder to stay interested in. Instead of sitting on the edge of your seat during the climactic showdown, you’re probably going to be looking at your watch and wondering how much longer this movie can possibly go on.
While I’m no expert on Transformers, I think the film does an admirable job in bringing the robotic characters to life. Their appearance and animation are both impressive, and they’re typically a pretty fun bunch. I have to admit, though, that I was a bit jarred by the angry and violent demeanor of Optimus Prime. I thought he was supposed to be the good guy everyone looked up to? In Age of Extinction, he clearly has some anger management issues. While he might be the most skilled warrior out there, he sure doesn’t seem like much of a role model. Peter Cullen, the original voice of Optimus Prime, has one again returned to voice the character. John Goodman gives a stand-out voice performance as Hound, in a role he seemed to have a lot of fun with, and Ken Watanabe voices the Samurai-like Transformer known as Drift. All in all, there are a lot of Transformers in the movie, but there is hardly ample time to get to know most of them. I imagine many of them have been introduced in previous films, but for a newcomer like myself, I had a hard time distinguishing between quite a few of them. Then there are the Dinobots, which look awesome, but we’re not given a chance to know much of anything about them. It’s a shame that they’re reduced to feeling like unnecessary bookends to an already overly-crammed movie.
On the human side of things, Mark Wahlberg is enjoyable as the struggling inventor who scavengers through whatever he can to try to create a breakthrough invention. He brings a charming and heroic presence to his role, making him a character we can identify with and root for as he tries to assist the highly-targeted Transformers. T.J. Miller’s Lucas makes for a mildly humorous companion to Cade, although much of the film’s attempts at comedy feel forced and aren’t very funny. Then there’s Nicola Peltz as the skimpily-dressed, rebellious but brainy and innocent, party girl daughter Tessa. She fits right into Bay’s stereotypical sexist female lead who serves as little more than a damsel in distress and eye candy. Still, I don’t know who is worse; Tessa, or her rally car racing boyfriend Shane, played by Jack Reynor. I felt just as frustrated by them as Wahlberg does playing Tessa’s disgruntled and disapproving father. These two lovebirds are an annoying and unwanted addition that only further drag out the plot. While it was at first vaguely amusing to watch Cade freak out as the over-protective father, that shtick ended up getting old real quick. While Wahlberg makes a good new face for the franchise, I hope to God that he comes alone for the next one.
Transformers: Age of Extinction is a fun summer movie. Director Michael Bay sticks to his usual mode of operation with ridiculous action sequences, top of the line special effects, and a whole lot of explosions. If you’re looking for a movie with more flash than substance, Age of Extinction should be right up your alley. It’s jam-packed and overly ambitious, stretching the run time far longer than it ever should, but if offers plenty of dumb, fun entertainment. Transformers fans should be pleased, although the series still has yet to make a fan out of me.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.22.14.)
Weather Now for iPad
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Mandy and G.D. Burkhead (26 KP) rated Kushiel's Dart (Phèdre's Trilogy, #1) in Books
May 20, 2018
Shelf Life – Kushiel’s Legacy, the Naamah Trilogy, and How Jacqueline Carey Ruined My Ability to Be Impartial About Them
Contains spoilers, click to show
I can honestly say that the nine books that comprise these three trilogies are among the best fantasy available today as well as nine of my all-time favorite books I’ve ever read.
The Spoiler-Free Overview
If you want the shorter, less spoilery answer for what I think of these books: holy crap, yes, they’re as good as everyone says they are. Jacqueline Carey has a way of making me just…feel stuff like no other author can. Plenty of books have caught and held my interest enough that I didn’t want to put them down, but few have made the act of putting them down anyway so torturous. More than once, I hit a point in these stories where I had to drop whatever else I was gonna do that day (that I could realistically drop) just because I had to keep reading to make sure the characters were going to be okay.
This is character-driven fiction at its finest, with people in the pages who come alive and subtly win your heart. More than once, I’ve found reading about their ordeals to be worrying, a little bit painful, and a little bit infuriating (all in a good way, though), and I had to stop and remind myself that these weren’t real people that I was so concerned over and angry for. So if you ever wanted to be really, really invested in the story you’re reading and the people in it, Terre d’Ange is the place to go. All of the eroticism that everyone talks about is just a really nice bonus.
If you want an even shorter answer: do you watch Game of Thrones? Have you read George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire books? Have you at least heard of the fan hype around these stories? The Kushiel and Naamah books are like that, except sexier and with deeper court intrigue. And a lot less incest.
If you want the long answer…
A Dizzying Amount of Adventure Mileage
One thing that has to be said for Kushiel’s Legacy and the Naamah trilogy is that you definitely get your money’s worth of story out of each book. There’s a pattern that I’ve noticed with each of them, which is that you’ll follow the heroine/hero through a massive tribulation, see them endure their hardships and take their small victories where they can, then finally watch matters come to a crux, a climax, and a satisfying resolution…only to realize that you’re only a third of the way through the full page count.
Where most books are content to have one major conflict, Carey packs hers with about three each. The best part is that they’re not laid out in rigid sequence like a series of video game side quests – fight this problem, win, check it off the list, leave it behind and find a new one to fill the word count. No, each new adventure in the same book arises completely organically from the story overall. It makes you realize just how huge a scope these characters’ destinies really are, and just how incredibly wearying it can be and how much seemingly inhuman endurance it takes to be one of the gods’ chosen.
For instance, the first book to kick everything off, Kushiel’s Dart, begins slowly and simply enough. Phedre is an unwanted child who is basically sold into indentured servitude, then trained to be a spy and courtesan while we’re introduced to Terre d’Ange through her eyes over the next couple hundred pages, learning more about the politics and the players in time to watch the drama around them steadily unfold and escalate.
And then her wise mentor gets killed (as wise mentors tend to do), she and her bodyguard companion are betrayed, and the both of them get sold into full-on slavery to the vikings of Skaldia. Plenty of conflict and hardship and planning later, they make their escape and flee into harsh, snowy mountain terrain, falling in love for good measure while they fend off the deadly cold and the pursuit from their enemies. Finally, they make it back to their homeland and clear their names.
This is where most books would be content to stop and maybe leave further contentions for a sequel. Kushiel’s Dart would have been well within its rights to do so as well, and I wouldn’t have complained if it did. But no, it reminds readers, we’re not done yet. There’s a war coming, remember? We talked about this. Catch your breath for a moment, but then we gotta go rally our armies.
So Phedre and Joscelin set off to the wild and secluded island nation of Alba on the other side of an enchanted strait, a body of water where a vengeful, divine power known as the Master of the Straits lives and for some reason prevents almost all contact between the two nations. Arriving safely enough, they find that Alba is also war-torn at the moment, and the armies they had hoped to rally are busy defending their land from another foe. More plotting and intrigue ensues, alliances and promises are made, and with our heroes’ help, the two sides clash in a decisive battle that gains the side we’re rooting for victory as well as gives them their rightful sovereignty back. Now Phedre has the army she needs. After a sudden and unexpected stop at the Master of the Straits’ island, where they learn the secret of his power and guarantee indefinite safe passage between the nations in return for Phedre losing her closest friend, our heroes finally make it back to their homeland again with their army in tow.
Finally! After all of that struggle, we get a happy ending after all. But wait, not yet you don’t, the chunk of pages left at the end remind you. All you did was get your forces together. Good for you. Now you still gotta go actually fight the war with the Skaldi invaders to determine the fate of your entire nation.
So they do. And only after an awesome last-stand battle (the excitement and careful strategy of which will take you completely by surprise if you first entered this book expecting little more than kinky sex scenes) is the story allowed to wrap up in earnest, our heroes finally earning their long-deserved rest. The dangerous and cunning warlord is defeated, the invading army has been pushed back, the new Queen has ascended the throne, Terre d’Ange has been saved, and Phedre and Joscelin are free to finally be together – with the only little niggle being that the real mastermind behind all of their problems is still loose and taunting them. But we can get to that in the next book. Or five.
The Spoiler-Free Overview
If you want the shorter, less spoilery answer for what I think of these books: holy crap, yes, they’re as good as everyone says they are. Jacqueline Carey has a way of making me just…feel stuff like no other author can. Plenty of books have caught and held my interest enough that I didn’t want to put them down, but few have made the act of putting them down anyway so torturous. More than once, I hit a point in these stories where I had to drop whatever else I was gonna do that day (that I could realistically drop) just because I had to keep reading to make sure the characters were going to be okay.
This is character-driven fiction at its finest, with people in the pages who come alive and subtly win your heart. More than once, I’ve found reading about their ordeals to be worrying, a little bit painful, and a little bit infuriating (all in a good way, though), and I had to stop and remind myself that these weren’t real people that I was so concerned over and angry for. So if you ever wanted to be really, really invested in the story you’re reading and the people in it, Terre d’Ange is the place to go. All of the eroticism that everyone talks about is just a really nice bonus.
If you want an even shorter answer: do you watch Game of Thrones? Have you read George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire books? Have you at least heard of the fan hype around these stories? The Kushiel and Naamah books are like that, except sexier and with deeper court intrigue. And a lot less incest.
If you want the long answer…
A Dizzying Amount of Adventure Mileage
One thing that has to be said for Kushiel’s Legacy and the Naamah trilogy is that you definitely get your money’s worth of story out of each book. There’s a pattern that I’ve noticed with each of them, which is that you’ll follow the heroine/hero through a massive tribulation, see them endure their hardships and take their small victories where they can, then finally watch matters come to a crux, a climax, and a satisfying resolution…only to realize that you’re only a third of the way through the full page count.
Where most books are content to have one major conflict, Carey packs hers with about three each. The best part is that they’re not laid out in rigid sequence like a series of video game side quests – fight this problem, win, check it off the list, leave it behind and find a new one to fill the word count. No, each new adventure in the same book arises completely organically from the story overall. It makes you realize just how huge a scope these characters’ destinies really are, and just how incredibly wearying it can be and how much seemingly inhuman endurance it takes to be one of the gods’ chosen.
For instance, the first book to kick everything off, Kushiel’s Dart, begins slowly and simply enough. Phedre is an unwanted child who is basically sold into indentured servitude, then trained to be a spy and courtesan while we’re introduced to Terre d’Ange through her eyes over the next couple hundred pages, learning more about the politics and the players in time to watch the drama around them steadily unfold and escalate.
And then her wise mentor gets killed (as wise mentors tend to do), she and her bodyguard companion are betrayed, and the both of them get sold into full-on slavery to the vikings of Skaldia. Plenty of conflict and hardship and planning later, they make their escape and flee into harsh, snowy mountain terrain, falling in love for good measure while they fend off the deadly cold and the pursuit from their enemies. Finally, they make it back to their homeland and clear their names.
This is where most books would be content to stop and maybe leave further contentions for a sequel. Kushiel’s Dart would have been well within its rights to do so as well, and I wouldn’t have complained if it did. But no, it reminds readers, we’re not done yet. There’s a war coming, remember? We talked about this. Catch your breath for a moment, but then we gotta go rally our armies.
So Phedre and Joscelin set off to the wild and secluded island nation of Alba on the other side of an enchanted strait, a body of water where a vengeful, divine power known as the Master of the Straits lives and for some reason prevents almost all contact between the two nations. Arriving safely enough, they find that Alba is also war-torn at the moment, and the armies they had hoped to rally are busy defending their land from another foe. More plotting and intrigue ensues, alliances and promises are made, and with our heroes’ help, the two sides clash in a decisive battle that gains the side we’re rooting for victory as well as gives them their rightful sovereignty back. Now Phedre has the army she needs. After a sudden and unexpected stop at the Master of the Straits’ island, where they learn the secret of his power and guarantee indefinite safe passage between the nations in return for Phedre losing her closest friend, our heroes finally make it back to their homeland again with their army in tow.
Finally! After all of that struggle, we get a happy ending after all. But wait, not yet you don’t, the chunk of pages left at the end remind you. All you did was get your forces together. Good for you. Now you still gotta go actually fight the war with the Skaldi invaders to determine the fate of your entire nation.
So they do. And only after an awesome last-stand battle (the excitement and careful strategy of which will take you completely by surprise if you first entered this book expecting little more than kinky sex scenes) is the story allowed to wrap up in earnest, our heroes finally earning their long-deserved rest. The dangerous and cunning warlord is defeated, the invading army has been pushed back, the new Queen has ascended the throne, Terre d’Ange has been saved, and Phedre and Joscelin are free to finally be together – with the only little niggle being that the real mastermind behind all of their problems is still loose and taunting them. But we can get to that in the next book. Or five.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Dungeon Scrawlers: Heroes of Undermountain in Tabletop Games
Apr 8, 2022
I’ve mentioned before that Travis and I are currently playing a D&D campaign with another friend. I’m the DM and those two dudes are my ever-entertaining party. The adventure we’re running at the moment is Dungeon of the Mad Mage, which takes place in Undermountain. So imagine my surprise whilst browsing my FLGS recently and came across this game: a D&D real-time maze racing game set in the very same dungeon as our current campaign! I knew then and there that I had to give it a shot. It’s not as involved and intensive as the actual campaign, but this game can be just as exciting. Keep reading to see why!
Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Scrawlers – Heroes of Undermountain (simply referred to as Dungeon Scrawlers from here on out) is a real-time line drawing maze race for 2-4 players. The goal? To crawl your way through the dungeon floors, defeating Monsters/collecting Treasures/casting Spells/and more to collect the most VP by the end of the game. To setup for a game, each player receives a marker and a random Character. Select the Dungeon you wish to play this game, and give the corresponding sheet to each player. Check the bottom of the Dungeon sheet to see if any special components are needed (more on this in a bit), grab a timer, and the game is ready to go! Pictured below is the setup for a 3-player game.
Once the timer begins, the race is on! Players all begin at the “Start” entrance of their sheet, and draw their path through the dungeon floor. When making your path, there are a few rules to follow. Your path must be one continuous, unbroken line – no dotted lines or ambiguous markings! Keep your path within the lines – don’t be drawing through walls, at risk of losing VP. And finally, whenever you enter a new room, you must interact with all elements within.
Inside the rooms of the dungeon, you will find Monsters, Treasures, Spells, Artifact Fragments, or Exotic Plants. Each is dealt with in a specific way, and award you VP when scoring the dungeon floor. To defeat a Monster, you must draw over and fully color it in. To case a Spell, you trace the indicated path. To collect a Treasure, you must completely outline the treasure icon on your sheet. Artifact Fragments are collected by connecting the stones in numerical order, and Exotic Plants are collected by simply drawing a line through them. If you leave a room and you have not interacted with every element within, you will earn negative VP for any elements you missed! Each player is given a Character at the game start, and these Characters provide special rules/abilities for use throughout the game. For example, the Barbarian allows you to only color a Monster head to complete it, instead of having to color the entire thing. And that could be a huge time-saver in the long run! So knowing your Character ability, and how to effectively utilize it, is a huge bonus in the game.
Some dungeon floors have special components that come into play. These are Orbs, Portals, Keys, and Prisoners. Orbs provide bonus VP, and their value decreases as they are collected. So collecting an Orb first earns you more VP than if you wait to collect the last one. Portals allow players to teleport between the portal entrance/exit, thus moving you to a new part of the dungeon floor. And Keys are collected throughout the dungeon, and allow players to open ‘locked’ doors of the corresponding color. Without the appropriate key, you can not pass through a locked door. And finally you may need to rescue some Prisoners who are trapped throughout the level.
The scrawl ends when a player has defeated the Boss Monster, but certain levels have different ending triggers, like collecting an Orb triggers the end. Once the level ends, all players must stop drawing. Players pass their sheet to the player on their left, and that player scores their run – kinda like how we used to do in school sometimes. Players record their scores, and the player with the highest score wins! I do have to say that the rulebook suggests a ‘complete’ game of Dungeon Scrawlers be a total of 3 dungeon floors – the player with the highest total score from all 3 floors is the winner. But you are always welcome to play with as many or as few dungeon floors as you wish.
I actually enjoyed this game more than I thought I would. I think the real-time race element is what gets me. You want to go as quickly as possible so you can amass the most points, but you also have to move carefully so as to not miss any elements, draw through walls, and ultimately earn negative VP. Also, each dungeon floor has so many different paths and options, it can be stressful choosing which way to go when you know you’re racing against other players. That being said, you’re kind of also playing a game of risk by trying to collect as many elements as possible. Maybe your opponent is gunning straight for the end-game trigger, and if you’re not fast enough you won’t collect enough VP this floor. Or maybe everyone is trying to be a completionist, collecting as many elements as possible, nobody wanting to be the person to trigger the end quite yet. There’s some good strategy to be had, and the real-time element enhances it.
To touch on components, this game is a set of dry-erase dungeon sheets and markers, and some cardboard tokens. The quality of the dry-erase sheets and markers is pretty decent, and honestly better than I was expecting. In total, there are 10 different dungeon sheets, and each is unique and interesting. The cardboard tokens are thick and chunky, and will definitely hold up to many plays. Overall, great production quality!
So do I like Dungeon Scrawlers? Yes! It’s a fun, fast-paced game that is easy to teach, learn, and play. It’s pretty light-hearted but still gives you some strategic options with the real-time pressure. It’s not necessarily one that I’ll pull out at every game night, but it’s one that I can definitely use as a quick little filler, introductory game, or a game to use with younger gamers! This game is a neat concept that is executed well, and it makes for a fun time for all players. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a scrawling 4 / 6. This game sounds easy, but add that real-time race and it gets a whole lot harder!
Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Scrawlers – Heroes of Undermountain (simply referred to as Dungeon Scrawlers from here on out) is a real-time line drawing maze race for 2-4 players. The goal? To crawl your way through the dungeon floors, defeating Monsters/collecting Treasures/casting Spells/and more to collect the most VP by the end of the game. To setup for a game, each player receives a marker and a random Character. Select the Dungeon you wish to play this game, and give the corresponding sheet to each player. Check the bottom of the Dungeon sheet to see if any special components are needed (more on this in a bit), grab a timer, and the game is ready to go! Pictured below is the setup for a 3-player game.
Once the timer begins, the race is on! Players all begin at the “Start” entrance of their sheet, and draw their path through the dungeon floor. When making your path, there are a few rules to follow. Your path must be one continuous, unbroken line – no dotted lines or ambiguous markings! Keep your path within the lines – don’t be drawing through walls, at risk of losing VP. And finally, whenever you enter a new room, you must interact with all elements within.
Inside the rooms of the dungeon, you will find Monsters, Treasures, Spells, Artifact Fragments, or Exotic Plants. Each is dealt with in a specific way, and award you VP when scoring the dungeon floor. To defeat a Monster, you must draw over and fully color it in. To case a Spell, you trace the indicated path. To collect a Treasure, you must completely outline the treasure icon on your sheet. Artifact Fragments are collected by connecting the stones in numerical order, and Exotic Plants are collected by simply drawing a line through them. If you leave a room and you have not interacted with every element within, you will earn negative VP for any elements you missed! Each player is given a Character at the game start, and these Characters provide special rules/abilities for use throughout the game. For example, the Barbarian allows you to only color a Monster head to complete it, instead of having to color the entire thing. And that could be a huge time-saver in the long run! So knowing your Character ability, and how to effectively utilize it, is a huge bonus in the game.
Some dungeon floors have special components that come into play. These are Orbs, Portals, Keys, and Prisoners. Orbs provide bonus VP, and their value decreases as they are collected. So collecting an Orb first earns you more VP than if you wait to collect the last one. Portals allow players to teleport between the portal entrance/exit, thus moving you to a new part of the dungeon floor. And Keys are collected throughout the dungeon, and allow players to open ‘locked’ doors of the corresponding color. Without the appropriate key, you can not pass through a locked door. And finally you may need to rescue some Prisoners who are trapped throughout the level.
The scrawl ends when a player has defeated the Boss Monster, but certain levels have different ending triggers, like collecting an Orb triggers the end. Once the level ends, all players must stop drawing. Players pass their sheet to the player on their left, and that player scores their run – kinda like how we used to do in school sometimes. Players record their scores, and the player with the highest score wins! I do have to say that the rulebook suggests a ‘complete’ game of Dungeon Scrawlers be a total of 3 dungeon floors – the player with the highest total score from all 3 floors is the winner. But you are always welcome to play with as many or as few dungeon floors as you wish.
I actually enjoyed this game more than I thought I would. I think the real-time race element is what gets me. You want to go as quickly as possible so you can amass the most points, but you also have to move carefully so as to not miss any elements, draw through walls, and ultimately earn negative VP. Also, each dungeon floor has so many different paths and options, it can be stressful choosing which way to go when you know you’re racing against other players. That being said, you’re kind of also playing a game of risk by trying to collect as many elements as possible. Maybe your opponent is gunning straight for the end-game trigger, and if you’re not fast enough you won’t collect enough VP this floor. Or maybe everyone is trying to be a completionist, collecting as many elements as possible, nobody wanting to be the person to trigger the end quite yet. There’s some good strategy to be had, and the real-time element enhances it.
To touch on components, this game is a set of dry-erase dungeon sheets and markers, and some cardboard tokens. The quality of the dry-erase sheets and markers is pretty decent, and honestly better than I was expecting. In total, there are 10 different dungeon sheets, and each is unique and interesting. The cardboard tokens are thick and chunky, and will definitely hold up to many plays. Overall, great production quality!
So do I like Dungeon Scrawlers? Yes! It’s a fun, fast-paced game that is easy to teach, learn, and play. It’s pretty light-hearted but still gives you some strategic options with the real-time pressure. It’s not necessarily one that I’ll pull out at every game night, but it’s one that I can definitely use as a quick little filler, introductory game, or a game to use with younger gamers! This game is a neat concept that is executed well, and it makes for a fun time for all players. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a scrawling 4 / 6. This game sounds easy, but add that real-time race and it gets a whole lot harder!
Amberley Yvonne Mackenzie (9 KP) rated the PlayStation 4 version of Fallout 76 in Video Games
Nov 27, 2018
Co-operative focus (3 more)
Exceptionally large game map
forced interaction with other realtime players
immersion in side quests and exploration
difficult in one player mode past level 12 (2 more)
occasionally repetitive
filled with glitches and bugs
Dystopian loneliness
"War... war never changes."
This instalment of the Fallout series sees us catapulted to West Virginia, an area never previously visited in the post nuclear armageddon indicative of the franchise. You begin as a lowly vault dweller and learn that Vault 76 is a control vault designed to open 25 years after the bombs have dropped and obliterated civilisation as we know it. the character creation is straight forward and the same in design as Fallout 4, infact, the whole game is the exact same as Fallout 4 with a few tweaks here and there so stepping out into Appalacia is easy with the same control system and feel to the game. The vault doesn't hold any surprises, fixed in place as a linear tutorial so the real game begins wandering out the big ol' vault door. Once free the sheer scale is apparent as you take in the horizon, a lush green forest stretches around and for a minute you feel almost like you've wandered into an Elder Scrolls game and not a Fallout instalment then you stumble upon your first Ghoul and you remember how unforgiving Fallout is as you're pummeled into oblivion since the 10mm pistol effectively equates to a peashooter at such low levels. So you dust yourself off and explore, levelling up as you go with a quirky new perk system based loosely on trading cards, now I've encountered other players grumbling about the perk system and I'll repeat the same here as I did there; they are interchangeable at any point, not only in the level up screen. So in other words don't be dissuaded. S.P.E.C.I.A.L attributes now have a cap of 15 however you stop earning points at level 50 so choose wisely. Online tools are avaliable to help choose your build that best suits your style of play. Another changed and quirky feature is the C.A.M.P, a play on Fallout 4's settlement building feature in which you can build your own personal campsite anywhere that's not too close to a settlement with plans for hundreds of pieces but a very low budget for items. I found out early on that your camp will literally only really be used for the essentials, workbenches, Cooking equipment, stash box and a bed with a few turrets to keep you safe whilst you sleep. Another unique feature is the stash box, with only 400lbs storage don't think about going anywhere with all those wonderglues! you find yourself in a constant loop of scrapping and bulking junk just to repair weapons and armour and EVERYTHING has weight, even ammo. Think Hardcore mode New Vegas on steroids, you need to eat, drink, you contract diseases and mutations. it's an eerily accurate depiction of post apocalyptia and a good lesson in self care, if you're starving or dehydrated you lose action points and the ability to run. Power armour in the game is essential but not avaliable till level 20, I wouldn't advise going to the South or east of the map until you have some as these areas have the highest level enemy's.
Speaking of enemies, Bethesda Game Studios has once again outdone themselves with the creation of complex new creatures and enemies. Due to the lack of NPC's, Raiders have been replaced by the Scorched, disease ridden humans liked in someway to the Scorchbeast, essentially a cut and paste dragon from Skyrim. there's also the previous selection of Ghouls, deathclaws, mole rats, feral mutts and Super Mutants with the lore of West Virginia found in the recreation of the Wendigo and Mothman. there's a few other new creatures but I'll leave that to you to discover.
The locations are stunning, it doesn't matter that it's on an older game engine, what bethesda have created is simply beautiful. In the Ash Heap to the south, a towering collosus of a mining machine in perfect detail stands 100ft above you and to the north of the map, a downed space station, everything recreated in stunning detail. Some of the sights are truly amazing.
Whilst Fallout 76 has had a lot of mixed reviews I can't say it's been a dissapointmet like some others, yes it heavily relies upon your interaction with other players so if you play solo it can seem a bit lonely and repetitive especially when doing the same events everyday but I went into the game knowing it was going to be different and that gave me another way to look at it objectively. Yes it needs more content but I can safely say, this game has so much potential and is another winner for Bethesda.
This instalment of the Fallout series sees us catapulted to West Virginia, an area never previously visited in the post nuclear armageddon indicative of the franchise. You begin as a lowly vault dweller and learn that Vault 76 is a control vault designed to open 25 years after the bombs have dropped and obliterated civilisation as we know it. the character creation is straight forward and the same in design as Fallout 4, infact, the whole game is the exact same as Fallout 4 with a few tweaks here and there so stepping out into Appalacia is easy with the same control system and feel to the game. The vault doesn't hold any surprises, fixed in place as a linear tutorial so the real game begins wandering out the big ol' vault door. Once free the sheer scale is apparent as you take in the horizon, a lush green forest stretches around and for a minute you feel almost like you've wandered into an Elder Scrolls game and not a Fallout instalment then you stumble upon your first Ghoul and you remember how unforgiving Fallout is as you're pummeled into oblivion since the 10mm pistol effectively equates to a peashooter at such low levels. So you dust yourself off and explore, levelling up as you go with a quirky new perk system based loosely on trading cards, now I've encountered other players grumbling about the perk system and I'll repeat the same here as I did there; they are interchangeable at any point, not only in the level up screen. So in other words don't be dissuaded. S.P.E.C.I.A.L attributes now have a cap of 15 however you stop earning points at level 50 so choose wisely. Online tools are avaliable to help choose your build that best suits your style of play. Another changed and quirky feature is the C.A.M.P, a play on Fallout 4's settlement building feature in which you can build your own personal campsite anywhere that's not too close to a settlement with plans for hundreds of pieces but a very low budget for items. I found out early on that your camp will literally only really be used for the essentials, workbenches, Cooking equipment, stash box and a bed with a few turrets to keep you safe whilst you sleep. Another unique feature is the stash box, with only 400lbs storage don't think about going anywhere with all those wonderglues! you find yourself in a constant loop of scrapping and bulking junk just to repair weapons and armour and EVERYTHING has weight, even ammo. Think Hardcore mode New Vegas on steroids, you need to eat, drink, you contract diseases and mutations. it's an eerily accurate depiction of post apocalyptia and a good lesson in self care, if you're starving or dehydrated you lose action points and the ability to run. Power armour in the game is essential but not avaliable till level 20, I wouldn't advise going to the South or east of the map until you have some as these areas have the highest level enemy's.
Speaking of enemies, Bethesda Game Studios has once again outdone themselves with the creation of complex new creatures and enemies. Due to the lack of NPC's, Raiders have been replaced by the Scorched, disease ridden humans liked in someway to the Scorchbeast, essentially a cut and paste dragon from Skyrim. there's also the previous selection of Ghouls, deathclaws, mole rats, feral mutts and Super Mutants with the lore of West Virginia found in the recreation of the Wendigo and Mothman. there's a few other new creatures but I'll leave that to you to discover.
The locations are stunning, it doesn't matter that it's on an older game engine, what bethesda have created is simply beautiful. In the Ash Heap to the south, a towering collosus of a mining machine in perfect detail stands 100ft above you and to the north of the map, a downed space station, everything recreated in stunning detail. Some of the sights are truly amazing.
Whilst Fallout 76 has had a lot of mixed reviews I can't say it's been a dissapointmet like some others, yes it heavily relies upon your interaction with other players so if you play solo it can seem a bit lonely and repetitive especially when doing the same events everyday but I went into the game knowing it was going to be different and that gave me another way to look at it objectively. Yes it needs more content but I can safely say, this game has so much potential and is another winner for Bethesda.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Big Little Lies - Season 1 in TV
Feb 8, 2019 (Updated Feb 8, 2019)
Rich White People Problems: The Show
As more news of Season 2 of this show seeps out, I decided to eventually get around to catching the first season of this highly praised and seemingly universally lauded show. I went in expecting greatness from this thing after reading all of the glowing critic's reviews. I am also a huge fan of many of the cast members involved in this project, so knowing nothing about the plot or subject matter the show is based on, I went in blind; excited to see what this series had in store.
The series opens with some ominous editing and vague hints that a major crime has been committed, which we eventually realise to be a murder. Then we are taken backwards tin time and are introduced to Reese Witherspoon's character Madeline, whom initially comes off as entitled and annoying, but you assume that this is going to have a purpose in her character's arc and she will grow on you. You are wrong to assume that as she is extremely irritating throughout the entire duration of the series, constantly interrupting other characters lines and sticking her oar in during group situations, just for the sake of clinging on to the spotlight and keeping herself at the centre of attention.
Thankfully, Nicole Kidman's character Celeste is less annoying and instead just a bit strange. We see pretty early on that she is a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of her much younger husband played by Alexander Skarsgard. At first this is pretty harrowing and sad to see, but for some reason, - and I don't want to kink shame anyone, - but it seems like she kind of likes it. The third main character we are introduced to is Jane, played by Shailene Woodley who immediately seems like damaged goods.
The "conflict," is then set up. After the first day at school we see a highly unrealistic scene play out as the most insensitive teacher in the world with zero foresight gathers all of the children in her class along with their parents outside the school gates. A girl has marks on her neck from being choked by one of the other kids. The teacher then asks the girl to point out the kid that did this to her (in front of the entire class and their parents!) and she points to Jane's son Ziggy. The boy denies any wrongdoing, but the girl who has been hurt's mother, (played by Laura Dern, whom I normally really like,) is a horrible, bitter bitch who responds to the situation by berating the accused boy in front of everyone, degrading his mother in the process for defending her child and not "making," him apologise.
*Insert Peter Griffin "Oh my God, who the hell cares?" meme here.*
Yeah, this is the kind of schoolyard bullshit that this show expects us to treat as a life or death issue. The whole thing is full of non-issues and petty whines centred around 'he said/she said,' nonsense. Then we are supposed to relate to these immature, venomous parents who don't do anything to help the situation whatsoever. Meanwhile the show treats domestic abuse, - something that is a very real and threatening issue, - as just a weird kink in this oddball couple's relationship.
It is clear that all of these parents clearly care far more about self-image than they do about their own children, which makes all of them extremely gross and off putting as characters. They constantly make up excuses as if to try and justify themselves and claim that the bitchy, conniving choices that they make towards each other is for the sake of their kids, when it is clearly just to one up each other in pathetic, petty social warfare and childish beefs.
Website theodysseyonline.com has an article called, '13 Reasons Why Big Little Lies Is So Powerful.' I truly fail to see what is apparently so powerful and ground-breaking about this series. I'm not even sure what it is trying to say; that domestic abuse and rape are bad things done by evil people? Wow, what a brave and unique stance to take! I also resent the idea that everyone that says anything remotely negative about this show is a women-hating misogynist. I consider myself a left-leaning liberal and a feminist, I am a strong supporter of equal rights amongst all genders and races and I do regular work for a women's mental health charity, but I can still spot an overrated, hollow waste of 7 hours when I see one.
Overall, even though this season only last 7 episodes, it is not worth your time. After watching the first 2 episodes I thought about giving up on it, but then I thought about all of the glowing reviews and thought, 'no, surely this must get better.' Let me save you seven hours of your time; it doesn't. This is a melodramatic glorified soap opera that doesn't handle any of the issues that it tries to tackle well and it is filled, - to the point it is bursting at the seams, - with small scope issues and minor annoyances treated as life threatening scenarios, all the while brushing off the genuinely scary and potentially life threatening scenario of domestic abuse.
The series opens with some ominous editing and vague hints that a major crime has been committed, which we eventually realise to be a murder. Then we are taken backwards tin time and are introduced to Reese Witherspoon's character Madeline, whom initially comes off as entitled and annoying, but you assume that this is going to have a purpose in her character's arc and she will grow on you. You are wrong to assume that as she is extremely irritating throughout the entire duration of the series, constantly interrupting other characters lines and sticking her oar in during group situations, just for the sake of clinging on to the spotlight and keeping herself at the centre of attention.
Thankfully, Nicole Kidman's character Celeste is less annoying and instead just a bit strange. We see pretty early on that she is a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of her much younger husband played by Alexander Skarsgard. At first this is pretty harrowing and sad to see, but for some reason, - and I don't want to kink shame anyone, - but it seems like she kind of likes it. The third main character we are introduced to is Jane, played by Shailene Woodley who immediately seems like damaged goods.
The "conflict," is then set up. After the first day at school we see a highly unrealistic scene play out as the most insensitive teacher in the world with zero foresight gathers all of the children in her class along with their parents outside the school gates. A girl has marks on her neck from being choked by one of the other kids. The teacher then asks the girl to point out the kid that did this to her (in front of the entire class and their parents!) and she points to Jane's son Ziggy. The boy denies any wrongdoing, but the girl who has been hurt's mother, (played by Laura Dern, whom I normally really like,) is a horrible, bitter bitch who responds to the situation by berating the accused boy in front of everyone, degrading his mother in the process for defending her child and not "making," him apologise.
*Insert Peter Griffin "Oh my God, who the hell cares?" meme here.*
Yeah, this is the kind of schoolyard bullshit that this show expects us to treat as a life or death issue. The whole thing is full of non-issues and petty whines centred around 'he said/she said,' nonsense. Then we are supposed to relate to these immature, venomous parents who don't do anything to help the situation whatsoever. Meanwhile the show treats domestic abuse, - something that is a very real and threatening issue, - as just a weird kink in this oddball couple's relationship.
It is clear that all of these parents clearly care far more about self-image than they do about their own children, which makes all of them extremely gross and off putting as characters. They constantly make up excuses as if to try and justify themselves and claim that the bitchy, conniving choices that they make towards each other is for the sake of their kids, when it is clearly just to one up each other in pathetic, petty social warfare and childish beefs.
Website theodysseyonline.com has an article called, '13 Reasons Why Big Little Lies Is So Powerful.' I truly fail to see what is apparently so powerful and ground-breaking about this series. I'm not even sure what it is trying to say; that domestic abuse and rape are bad things done by evil people? Wow, what a brave and unique stance to take! I also resent the idea that everyone that says anything remotely negative about this show is a women-hating misogynist. I consider myself a left-leaning liberal and a feminist, I am a strong supporter of equal rights amongst all genders and races and I do regular work for a women's mental health charity, but I can still spot an overrated, hollow waste of 7 hours when I see one.
Overall, even though this season only last 7 episodes, it is not worth your time. After watching the first 2 episodes I thought about giving up on it, but then I thought about all of the glowing reviews and thought, 'no, surely this must get better.' Let me save you seven hours of your time; it doesn't. This is a melodramatic glorified soap opera that doesn't handle any of the issues that it tries to tackle well and it is filled, - to the point it is bursting at the seams, - with small scope issues and minor annoyances treated as life threatening scenarios, all the while brushing off the genuinely scary and potentially life threatening scenario of domestic abuse.
KalJ95 (25 KP) rated the PlayStation 4 version of STAR WARS Battlefront II in Video Games
Jun 10, 2020
Star Wars Immersion At Its Finest. (2 more)
Multiplayer Is Feels Fluid, Bouncy And Satisfying.
Frequent Updates Have Saved The Game.
Sometimes Buggy. (1 more)
Campaign Is Short, Bare and Repetitive.
Can EA Redeem Themselves? (2020 Update Review)
I will begin this by telling you a story. Back in 2016, I bought EA and DICE's STAR WARS Battlefront for £25, feeling like a got a pretty good bargain. Little did I know at the time that this was an EA project, I had very high hopes after spending hundreds of hours of my childhood playing the original, Battlefront and Battlefront II, on my original XBOX. To me, along with KOTOR and Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader, were the pinnacle of how good a STAR WARS game could be. I played four hours of this remake, and realised how much of a mistake I had made. I subsequently put the game on eBay, with the description, “Please take this abomination from me before I throw it at the wall!”. It sold for £9. Worth it.
Once I discovered EA and DICE were doing a sequel, I knew this was to be avoided at all costs. Upon launch, Battlefront II was slammed by critics and fans for various reasons, including a loot based system that gave a player a clear advantage over another, and a story which was so short and bare boned it barely even passed four hours. A complete disaster all round. Yet, a new hope arose. Frequent updates have come since then, and all updates have been free for players as a sorry for all the mistakes both companies have made with the property. So, with all this information in the past, I received Battlefront II as a free game with PlayStation Plus for June. A what a treat it is.
STAR WARS Battlefront II is a well improved shooter over its 2015 release, and an all round excellent game, and this is down to its updates being made free to all its players. Battlefront II must be broken up into parts in order to properly get a fair review, so let’s start with the campaign.
Narrative:
The story follows Iden Versio, an Empire Commander who’s morals are tested and sides are divided once she discovers the truth behind her allegiances as the story goes on. The campaign is the weakest part of the package, roughly taking around four to five hours to complete, and the missions feel the same; go to objective, kill enemies, find other objectives etc. The formula gets mixed a few times to introduce iconic heroes and villains through this timeline of STAR WARS history. Average would be the perfect word to describe this aspect, it doesn’t try anything new or experiment, and thats a shame because they introduce some new ideas that could of shaken up the story a little. They did add an expansion called Resurrection, following on some years after the campaign. Again, its too short for any real substance or replay value. Arcade mode is fun enough too, pitting you against different tasks for the Light and Dark side. Each one puts you with different Heroes, Villains or Soldiers, as you fight against a numbered amount of enemies. It all is enough to satisfy for a couple of hours, but if you're buying Battlefront for single-player purposes, don't bother.
Multiplayer:
The Multiplayer is fantastic, immersion filled experience fans of STAR WARS will love. I’ve recently lost a lot of love for the franchise, but this game has made me remember why I loved it as a child. The combination of John William’s score, the fluid gunplay that bounces with every successful hit, mixed with the amazing environments of each world and excellent sound effects. This makes it absolutely flawless. It features various different game modes to choose from, my personal favourite being Co-op missions, all your standard multiplayer shooter modes. Unlike before, where you had to buy the STAR WARS characters you want to play as, you now have to earn points during battle to play as them. The system works as you feel you’ve earned the way to play as, for example, Luke or Han. Sometimes it feels a little buggy in places, especially in modes with forty players, but it never ruins the overall game.
The issues, which they’re are many, occur in multiplayer frequently. The Galactic Assault is messy, and frustrating most of the time due to wonky controls. It feels like the controller doesn’t work for the ships, but works perfectly for the on-ground assaults. I did try this mode a number of times, and the same things happened again and again.
The package is finely finished with some great customisation options for your troopers and also the main characters of the franchise. The sheer number of characters in the roster is staggering. Some choices, like BB-8, feel a little shoehorned, but weirdly they all feel different, with their own unique perks. As a whole, it feels like for once EA has decided to put the consumer first with their product, rather than thinking of the money. They’ve taken the time to issue an apology for the awful services they’ve been providing, by putting a product they know the fans will love. I never thought I would say it, but props to DICE and EA. You’ve redeemed yourselves, for now.
Once I discovered EA and DICE were doing a sequel, I knew this was to be avoided at all costs. Upon launch, Battlefront II was slammed by critics and fans for various reasons, including a loot based system that gave a player a clear advantage over another, and a story which was so short and bare boned it barely even passed four hours. A complete disaster all round. Yet, a new hope arose. Frequent updates have come since then, and all updates have been free for players as a sorry for all the mistakes both companies have made with the property. So, with all this information in the past, I received Battlefront II as a free game with PlayStation Plus for June. A what a treat it is.
STAR WARS Battlefront II is a well improved shooter over its 2015 release, and an all round excellent game, and this is down to its updates being made free to all its players. Battlefront II must be broken up into parts in order to properly get a fair review, so let’s start with the campaign.
Narrative:
The story follows Iden Versio, an Empire Commander who’s morals are tested and sides are divided once she discovers the truth behind her allegiances as the story goes on. The campaign is the weakest part of the package, roughly taking around four to five hours to complete, and the missions feel the same; go to objective, kill enemies, find other objectives etc. The formula gets mixed a few times to introduce iconic heroes and villains through this timeline of STAR WARS history. Average would be the perfect word to describe this aspect, it doesn’t try anything new or experiment, and thats a shame because they introduce some new ideas that could of shaken up the story a little. They did add an expansion called Resurrection, following on some years after the campaign. Again, its too short for any real substance or replay value. Arcade mode is fun enough too, pitting you against different tasks for the Light and Dark side. Each one puts you with different Heroes, Villains or Soldiers, as you fight against a numbered amount of enemies. It all is enough to satisfy for a couple of hours, but if you're buying Battlefront for single-player purposes, don't bother.
Multiplayer:
The Multiplayer is fantastic, immersion filled experience fans of STAR WARS will love. I’ve recently lost a lot of love for the franchise, but this game has made me remember why I loved it as a child. The combination of John William’s score, the fluid gunplay that bounces with every successful hit, mixed with the amazing environments of each world and excellent sound effects. This makes it absolutely flawless. It features various different game modes to choose from, my personal favourite being Co-op missions, all your standard multiplayer shooter modes. Unlike before, where you had to buy the STAR WARS characters you want to play as, you now have to earn points during battle to play as them. The system works as you feel you’ve earned the way to play as, for example, Luke or Han. Sometimes it feels a little buggy in places, especially in modes with forty players, but it never ruins the overall game.
The issues, which they’re are many, occur in multiplayer frequently. The Galactic Assault is messy, and frustrating most of the time due to wonky controls. It feels like the controller doesn’t work for the ships, but works perfectly for the on-ground assaults. I did try this mode a number of times, and the same things happened again and again.
The package is finely finished with some great customisation options for your troopers and also the main characters of the franchise. The sheer number of characters in the roster is staggering. Some choices, like BB-8, feel a little shoehorned, but weirdly they all feel different, with their own unique perks. As a whole, it feels like for once EA has decided to put the consumer first with their product, rather than thinking of the money. They’ve taken the time to issue an apology for the awful services they’ve been providing, by putting a product they know the fans will love. I never thought I would say it, but props to DICE and EA. You’ve redeemed yourselves, for now.