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Interesting premise (3 more)
Tatsuya
Mystery surrounding the Shiba siblings
Most of the side-characters
Information dumps (3 more)
General editing mistakes
Miyuki
Lack of male characters (that aren’t antagonists)
The Setup
The Irregular at Magic High School
Book by Tsutomu Sato
Review by Rip Major

The Irregular at Magic High School is about siblings Tatsuya and Miyuki and their experiences at First High. The school is split into two main groups, the Blooms, who are gifted with the ability to use and control magic, and Weeds, who can use magic, but aren’t as strong with it as the Blooms are. Miyuki, who is a prodigy with magic and has the brains to back it up, is placed with the Blooms. Tatsuya, on the other hand, is not as gifted with magic, so he is placed with the Weeds.


The plot is pretty anime-standard. Boy and girl go to a new school and participate in shenanigans. The majority of the book follows the day to day misadventures of Tatsuya and Miyuki as they deal with the fact that, while they are extremely close, they are essentially in different hierarchical classes. This culminates in Miyuki joining the Student Council and Tatsuya joining the Disciplinary Committee, even though both are reluctant about the whole thing.


Tatsuya is a very interesting character because he is constantly annoyed by his classmates and their shenanigans, most of which he gets drawn into. He seems like the type of character that would prefer to be in the background and be left to his own devices, but his status as main character simply won’t let him. It is actually quite amusing to read his inner monologue while things happen to and around him. He is actually quite smart, being able to work on CADs (the in-universe way to cast magic) with exceptional skill and speed. He is also a skilled martial artist, apparently knowing ninjutsu, or something similar. Additionally, he also has a very mechanical way of thinking, which includes shutting down parts of himself that would ordinarily be considered normal. For instance, there is a scene where he realizes his older classmate is arousing him, and he shuts it down. Basically, in a book where the POV changes often and usually without meaning, Tatsuya is a very interesting character to be in the head of.


Unfortunately, Miyuki isn’t nearly as interesting as her brother. She is beautiful, smart, and gifted; all of which makes her a little too perfect for me to really connect with. Her major flaw is that she has an unusual and uncomfortable obsession with her brother. Also, she just feels a lot flatter than most of the side characters. And I officially have nothing else to say about her.


In all honesty, most of what I found interesting about this book was certain aspects of Sato’s world-building, specifically the pseudo-science/magic marriage and how it is explained. I also like how mysterious the history of the siblings is. Very little about their relationships with their parents is revealed, or why they are living alone in their apartment. In fact, other than the basic setup of the plot and characteristics of the two, not much else is explored in this book. I am curious to see if the next book will reveal more.
  
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    Decked Builder is the premium deck building app for Magic the Gathering -- providing a sleek user...

Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
2021 | Animation, Family
Strong Animation and Voice Work overcome "Standard" Plot
One of the first films to be released (both in theaters and on-line) during the pandemic, RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON came and went quickly - certainly ignored in the movie theaters, and with very little fanfare on-line.

And that’s too bad for RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON is a fun, fantastical and visually rich tapestry that weaves together strong characters, a good lesson and enough action and comedy to keep young and old alike engaged throughout.

RAYA tells the story of the land of Kumandra, a realm that was inspired by Southeast Asian countries (such as Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia) a land that is split into 5 parts that each face the same threat, but instead of banding together to fight this threat, they are splintered and selfish and look out only for their own - with little to no regard of the consequences to others.

Sound familiar? While the film was imagined and realized before the pandemic, the themes of this film reverberate strongly in this post-pandemic world that we live in.

Into this world drops Raya who, when betrayed by one she sees as a friend, sets out on a quest to find the last dragon and unify the 5 lands. It’s a typical “quest film” but one that is told with such heart and charm - with strong voice characters and beautiful animation - that I was won over by it.

Kelly Marie Tran (Rose Tico in the latest STAR WARS trilogy) brings Raya’s voice to life and it is a one that is embodied with hope, naivete and strength and really makes you root for her character. The voice work by the likes of Gemma Chan (CRAZY, RICH ASIANS), Benedict Wong (DR. STRANGE), DANIEL DAE KIM (TV’s LOST) and Sandra OH (TV’s GREY’S ANATOMY) are all as equally strong and nuanced and draws you into each of their characters and the story.

And then there is Awkwafina (SHANG-CHI) as the voice of The Last Dragon - she is on another level. It is not hyperbole to say that this voicework/character is on a par with David Spade’s work as Kuzco in THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE and much like Spade, she ad-libbed much of her dialogue. It’s not quite at the level of Robin Williams in ALADDIN, but it’s in that ballpark - it is that good. This character makes or breaks this film and AWKWAFINA nails it - and makes the film.

This film is a “non-Musical” and I think that works well here. While this choice may turn off some families from viewing, this choice makes it a stronger film and is the right selection.

And then, there is the animation, which is even more impressive considering it was created from the animators in their homes during the pandemic. RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON is a visual feast, weaving imagery and beautifully animated scenes throughout - I applaud those that made this incredibly beautiful film under such adverse conditions, it is a triumph.

All-in-all RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON is well worth checking out, despite the plot being rather “standard”, the themes, characters, voice work and animation are all top notch - what one has come to expect from Disney Animation.

Letter Grade: A- (did I mention that the plot is rather “standard”)

8 Stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
The King of ZING
The King of ZING
2021 | Card Game
Board game design these days has taken quite an innovative turn – with the creation of new mechanics, combination of game styles, and unique themes being introduced. It seems that everywhere you look, there is something new! That doesn’t mean we have to give up on the classic mechanics and gameplay styles, though, and thats where The King of Zing comes into play.

The King of Zing is a card game of take-that and hand management in which players are trying to be the first to reach 100 points. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, throw some Specialty cards into the mix that allow opponents to manipulate your turn strategy, and even occasionally place their own tokens on your board, and you’ve got quite a strategic conundrum!

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T

To setup for a game of The King of Zing, first place the board in the center of the table. Shuffle the deck of cards, dealing 5 to each player, and give players the 25 tokens in their chosen color. (Note: This prototype did not include tokens, so I improvised and borrowed some from another game. The final tokens will not look like the ones pictured below!). Place the remaining cards on the Deck space of the board, creating a draw deck, and flip over the top card to the Discard space. Choose a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!


Throughout the game, you will be drawing or playing cards. At the start of your turn, you will either draw the top card of the Draw deck, or take the top card of the Discard pile into your hand. If the card you drew matches your chosen color, you may immediately play it to your Grave (personal discard pile) and place one of your tokens onto your player board on the corresponding number, thus ending your turn. Otherwise, once you draw a card, you can do the following: select a card from your hand to go in the communal Discard pile, play a Specialty card, place a card from your hand face-up or face-down onto any player’s open Hold space, or play the face-down card from your own Hold space. **Important note** If there is ever a face-up card in your Hold at the start of your turn, you must play it and your turn ends. (This could be a strategic way to encumber opponents!). Play continues in this fashion until a player has collected 4 tokens in a row on their player board. Points are then scored (based on the number of tokens you played), and then the game resets – a series of games is played until one player reaches 100 points and is declared the ultimate winner!
The first thing I want to touch on is the rulebook for The King of Zing. As far as rulebooks go, it is not my favorite. There are some areas of ambiguity that left me confused, and it definitely took several read-throughs and a couple of false-starts at playing to figure out exactly how the gameplay flows. Being a prototype copy of the game, I imagine that editing/rewriting of the rulebook is something that will happen before final production.

Next, the overall gameplay. The different elements are reminiscent of other classic games – getting 4 tokens in a row a la Connect 4, the use of Specialty cards (Reverse, Skip, etc.) a la UNO. In their respective games, these mechanics work well, but how do they work together in The King of Zing? For the most part, I would say they work relatively well together. The mechanics compliment each other and feel logical in play. Probably the most unique aspect of Zing for me is the Hold space for each player. The ability to play cards to Hold spaces, either your own or of an opponent, gives you the opportunity to either plan a strategy/turn in advance, or potentially hinder an opponent. Playing a card face-up to a Hold guarantees that it will be played on the next turn, so not only are you planning ahead, but also broadcasting your move to your opponents. Conversely, a card played face-down could be resolved in any future turn, and can be a battle of risk/reward when played by opponents. A card played to my Hold face-down could just be a useless card for me, causing me to waste a turn to resolve it. BUT, what if an opponent gives you a card you actually need face-down – you don’t know that it is useful, but are you willing to risk a wasted turn to find out? The Hold space adds a new twist to the game that elevates the gameplay.


Components. Zing consists of a board and a big stack of cards. The board is nice and sturdy, the play areas clearly marked. The cards are colorful and thick, and the art is mostly minimal. The Specialty cards have a short description of their use printed on the card, but a more in-depth explanation can be found in the rulebook. As I stated above, this copy did not have any player tokens, so I cannot comment on how those will look in final production. All in all, a decent production quality.
All in all, The King of Zing feels like a take on an old classic. The gameplay incorporates several tried-and-true mechanics, and the flow of the game is pretty straightforward. The rulebook even suggests some gameplay variations, so The King of Zing can be played with gamers as young as 4 years old. Ultimately, the rulebook needs an overhaul, but the skeleton of the game seems to hold up. If you’re looking for something that brings back some nostalgia for older games, try The King of Zing.
  
Batman Begins (2005)
Batman Begins (2005)
2005 | Action, Mystery, Sci-Fi
Before Ben Affleck, but after Adam West, Michael Keaton, Kevin Conroy, Val Kilmer, and George Clooney, Christian Bale was Batman for at least two of the best Batman films out there. With a screenplay by director Christopher Nolan and his brother Jonathan and a story by David S. Goyer, Batman Begins is an origin story. Gotham City is dying since criminals like Carmine Falcone (Tom Wilkinson) are able to get away with murder since, “he keeps the bad people rich and the good people scared,” as Rachel Dawes (Katie Holmes) puts it. Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) trains with Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson), the right hand of Ra’s Al Ghul (Ken Watanabe), and The League of Shadows.

But The League of Shadows has a skewed view of justice since they believe that more serious crimes should be punishable by death (usually by their hand) while Bruce believes in compassion and the right to a fair trial before passing judgment. Leaving The League of Shadows in shambles, Bruce makes his way back to Gotham after a seven year absence. In Bruce’s own words, “As a man, I’m flesh and blood. I can be ignored. I can be destroyed. But as a symbol I can be incorruptible. I can be everlasting.” This is the story of Batman’s uprising; how a young Bruce Wayne conquered his fear of bats and the death of his parents to become the ominous and fearsome dark knight.

Even when you look back at what Christopher Nolan accomplished in his Dark Knight Trilogy, Batman Begins still holds its own and should be considered one of the best Batman films to date. Before Batman v Superman took the dark and gritty aspects of serious superhero films too far, Batman Begins was the first Batman film since Tim Burton’s Batman to favor a more serious tone in comparison to the campiness that overloads the likes of Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. Christopher Nolan always had the intention of keeping Batman grounded in realism and that concept reflected in its incredibly well-written storyline. Batman Begins is a lot like the Year One comic book storyline with Bruce Wayne returning to Gotham City after training in martial arts and being gone for several years, the inclusion of Carmine Falcone, a blossoming relationship between Batman and Jim Gordon, and The Joker tease on the rooftop even ends the story in similar fashion.

The realistic quality Christopher Nolan was aiming for also translates into the dialogue as nothing seems forced or out of place and everything seems to take place in consistent and reasonable fashion. Aside from Christian Bale, the rest of the cast is far more impressive than it had any right to be with the likes of Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy, and Rutger Hauer. Caine adds a level of tenderness to the Alfred character we haven’t really seen before while Cillian Murphy is brilliantly sinister as Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow. Thanks to frequent Christopher Nolan collaborator, director of photography Wally Pfister, Batman Begins is beautifully shot. Colors are always bright and vibrant outside of the Batcave as the dark visuals of the film seem to slowly swallow their colorful surroundings piece by piece.

The inclusion of Liam Neeson in the film is an interesting one for statistical purposes. Prior to Taken, Neeson was known for taking on roles where his character died; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, Gangs of New York, Kingdom of Heaven, and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe are all prime examples. Neeson’s character Ducard is also the main ingredient in the surprise Nolan often includes in the finale of his films. Neeson has this calm demeanor about him as Ducard that portrays just how in control he is of the training he’s passing onto Bruce. The cast to Batman films are usually packed with stars that are relevant to the time it’s released, but Batman Begins can boast that its supporting cast is just as strong as the leads in the film.

The reasoning behind Christian Bale’s Batman voice is legitimate and you certainly understand why it’s utilized, but the awkward transition between normal voice and rough and raspy vigilante takes some getting used to since you immediately think of the ridiculousness in The Lego Batman Movie or the handful of Deadpool 2 jokes whenever he’s Batman now. Katie Holmes is dull dishwater as an actress. She is the least memorable of the entire cast and is basically that person at a party that everyone knows that’s there but they don’t say anything to anybody before leaving when no one is looking. Maggie Gyllenhaal is able to add some depth with the Rachel Dawes character in The Dark Knight, but it’s as if you can still hear the sound of the Dawson’s Creek theme song echoing in your head whenever Gyllenhaal is on-screen; Katie Holmes is like a huge fart that is still smelt after she’s gone in the sequel she’s not even a part of. There was an overwhelming amount of complaints in the online community regarding how ugly Batman’s new Batmobile, The Tumblr, is in the film. While the vehicle is ugly, at least that ugliness is maintained throughout Nolan’s entire trilogy. Batman likes ugly things in this universe, but at least they’re functional and serve their purpose.

Even with how most individuals feel about The Dark Knight, Batman Begins is still an incredible superhero film that is more than capable as a standalone feature as well as the jumpstart to a new set of Batman films. Christopher Nolan practically reinvented the Batman franchise to a certain extent starting with this film. Depending on how you feel about Ben Affleck’s Batman, Christian Bale was the last satisfying Batman.

Batman Begins feels more like a crime film first and a superhero film second where Batman is an unstoppable force of nature. Stripping the film of its origin retelling, one would think this is what Todd McFarlane is going for with his new Spawn film only to an R-rated extent; a superhero that flourishes in the darkness and has a reputation as this spiritual incarnation of vengeance. Christopher Nolan made something special with his Batman films and it feels like Batman Begins is often overlooked due to the reputation of The Dark Knight. While that perspective isn’t necessarily wrong, fans should at least appreciate Batman Begins in a similar light if not a slightly brighter one.

Batman Begins is currently available to stream for $2.99 on Amazon Prime, YouTube, Vudu, and Google Play and for $3.99 on iTunes. The film is available for a variety of formats on Amazon including 4K/Blu-ray ($24.49), DVD ($9.43), and Multi-Format Blu-ray ($11.49). The Blu-ray is currently $5.22 (5% off its normal $5.50 price) in brand new condition and $3.42 pre-owned on eBay with free shipping on both. You can also get the film as part of a three-disc DVD trilogy pack with The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises or as The Dark Knight Trilogy box set on DVD or Blu-ray. Both options are available on both Amazon and eBay (DVD set is running $11.97 on eBay and $19.72 on Amazon while The Dark Knight Trilogy is available in a variety of formats (regular, ultimate, and special editions) on both sites between $12 and $18.99 unless you want the $69.99 ultimate set.
  
Last Christmas (2019)
Last Christmas (2019)
2019 | Comedy, Romance
I guess I’m not exactly the target audience for a Christmas rom-com, but I don’t usually mind them. Providing the leads have believable chemistry, there’s a good story behind it all, a few laughs and something that gives you that Christmas feel good feeling, I’m happy to watch them. Sadly though, for the most part, Last Christmas struggles to tick most of those boxes.

Emilia Clarke stars as Kate (short for Katerina, her original Yugoslav name), a 26 year old who’s struggling at life right now. Her nights are filled with one-night stands and sleeping over at friends houses, dragging her suitcase behind her the next morning as she either heads to work in a Covent Garden Christmas shop or off to an audition for a West end show. She’s also currently ignoring calls from her mum (Emma Thomson), disappointing her boss (Michelle Yeoh) and coming across as selfish and not really very likeable. It’s safe to say, she’s lost her way - “Why is my life so shit?!” she exclaims after yet another disaster happens.

And then one day, Kate notices a man gazing up at a bird outside the Christmas shop and goes outside to see what he’s doing. His name is Tom (Henry Golding) and he’s handsome and charming (but a bit wooden) and despite them turning out to have zero chemistry together, they strike up a relationship - because, y’know, this is a rom-com after all. Tom takes Kate on spontaneous walks down alleyways and into nearby pocket parks, making her look up regularly so that she can appreciate the world around her. He rides a bike everywhere, doesn’t have a mobile phone and disappears for days on end. Yet his presence and friendship appear to have a positive effect on Kate, who begins to start turning her life around.

The first half of the movie is just terrible. Badly written dialogue and characters in an attempt to try and recapture some kind of Love Actually spirit, but just failing. It even tries to cram in some Brexit references and a little bit of racism to highlight the plight of immigrants. Written by Emma Thomson and directed by Paul Feig, Last Christmas is said to be inspired by the music of George Michael although, aside from its namesake, not very much of it actually ends up featuring much in the movie.

If you’ve seen the trailer, then you may well have figured out the twist that comes towards the end of the movie. If not, then you’ll probably work it out pretty early on anyway. However, I’d be lying if I said that Last Christmas didn’t manage to hit me emotionally when the time came. It also managed to invoke some warm Christmas feels and spirit too, so not quite the complete disaster it started out as.
  
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
2019 | Action, Fantasy, Sci-Fi
Robert Rodriguez is not a good director. He isn’t an especially good writer or producer either. This is the guy responsible for four Spy Kids films, that start below average and downgrade exponentially into excruciatingly awful. What he is pretty good at is ideas, and seeing the potential of something visually arresting and exciting. That is what led to the success of Sin City, arguably his best effort to date, because he saw how the comic book creations of Frank Miller could become live action and he made it happen.

Alita: Battle Angel is a similar deal. This time Yukito Kishiro’s early 90s manga creation is the inspiration. With James Cameron as producer, and the considerable talents of Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly and Mahershala Ali onboard, it would have been pretty hard for even Rodriguez to mess this up entirely. Although at times he does seem to try, mostly by doing too much and making certain sections too busy and too confusingly cross-genre, like he is frantically trying to colour within the lines whilst using every felt-tip in the pack. A habit that means every now and again something great happens, but you may have missed it in all the background noise.

Compare this film, that just falls short of qualifying for my Bad Movie Triple Bill list, to Spielberg’s superior yet similarly busy Ready Player One. Both involve high concept future realities that are very tech and AI driven. Both make extensive use of CGI and vivid colour palettes. Both are frenetic and demand an audience pays attention in order to fully appreciate the storyline. The difference is that one zig-zags back and forth in tone and momentum, and one is razor sharp in moving us from one idea to the next on a perfect learning curve towards a satisfying climax and conclusion. Guess which one is which? This is why Spielberg is Spielberg and Rodriguez is… a hack.

That said, Alita as a character and concept is charming, and you do therefore find yourself at least wanting to discover her story. The action scenes are also quite electric, and the visuals are often breath-taking. But the whole is less than the sum of the parts here, and we are left with something that can only really exist in the same box as dozens of admirable sci-fi B-movies aimed at teenagers, such as The Maze Runner, Mortal Engines and The City of Ember. It also continues to prove the point alongside Ghost in the Shell and Speed Racer that Anime / Manga into live action is a very tricky business.

There is definitely an audience out there for this movie, and I dare say at some point I will be tempted to give it another watch. What is definitely worth watching however, is how James Cameron uses this as a stepping stone to perfecting virtual humans on the big screen. I am sure everyone involved learned a lot in that respect, so all is far from lost.
  
Aristotle's Elements and Space
Aristotle's Elements and Space
2021 | Card Game, Mythology
The Cosmos! So many of us dream of flying up into space to enjoy the views and hopes of a better life on another planet. Some would like to study space more closely to unravel its mysteries. Still others would think it’s just kinda cool to be weightless and IN SPACE! I’m a mixture of all these, so when I heard a call for reviewers for a game whose title includes a major philosopher, elements of all matter, AND SPACE I just had to know more and play it. Would Aristotle take pride in this card game’s premise or has it shot for the moon and is now drifting among the space junk?

Aristotle’s Elements and Space is a party style card game for three to five players. Players will be attempting to play elements to triumph over their opponents by using tried and true rock-paper-scissors style play.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup stock the token bag (not pictured) with tokens according to the rulebook suggestions for number of players. Each player will blindly choose three tokens from the bag to place in front of themselves within reach of all players. Shuffle the element cards and deal each player seven. Determine the first Aristotle player and place the Aristotle card facing that player. Shuffle and deal out three Element of Surprise cards face-down within reach of all players. The game may now begin!
Each game lasts seven rounds. At the start of each round players will secretly choose a card from hand to play to the table face down. Once all players are ready all players must simultaneously say out loud, “Aristotle,” while flipping over their cards. When all cards are revealed the Aristotle player will compare cards with the player on their left. Whichever element card played triumphs over the other will win that battle and continue onward clockwise to battle the other players. This continues until one player has triumphed all the cards and taken the trick. The Aristotle card is then given to the next player in clockwise seating to begin a new round. This is how a basic game is played.

More advanced games will include Power Up Tokens and the Element of Surprise Cards. In order to use a Power Up Token a player would first need to have successfully stolen another player’s token during a round of play. To successfully steal a token the player will physically take a token from another player without being touched by that player. Should the defending player touch or slap the offensive player’s hand during the theft, the heist is unsuccessful. Once stolen a token may be used on a subsequent round.

The Power Up Tokens increase the number of elements that may be triumphed using a particular element. For instance, Fire typically triumphs over Earth and Wind, but with the Power Up Token also applied the Fire triumphs over Earth, Wind, AND Water. A most welcome twist! Also, during a round in which a player is acting as Aristotle they may, once cards are revealed, call, “Element of Surprise!,” and choose a face-down card to read aloud to the group. These cards add a goofy rule that must be thenceforth followed, gives prompts for the players to discuss, or has players searching the room/house/wherever for items to bring back to the table first.


Play continues in this fashion until the last round, where triumph rules are reversed. When all cards have been played the winner is the player who won the most tricks.
Components. Again, this is a prototype version of the game. That said, what we received was a bunch of cards and the Power Up Tokens. The tokens are fine – laser cut plywood discs painted on both sides to match the elements they modify. The cards are glossy and feature unique art. The art is, well, just okay for me. It’s not terribly exciting, but it is very colorful and not bad, necessarily. I feel like the art could be improved some, but art is always a personal preference.

The gameplay itself is certainly a hodge-podge of mechanics from other games that, for the most part, are well-used for a very light trick-taking card game. I enjoy playing it using the Power Up Tokens, but for me and my group, we passed on the Element of Surprise cards. They add a different twist to the game that isn’t necessarily Quelf-ish, but also doesn’t add much to the game. They merely add a distraction from the game. I can see many people totally diggin’ those cards, and I probably would use them if converting a game-noob, but for more serious gamers, just leave them out.

If you are looking for a very light and different trick-taking card game, check out Aristotle’s Elements and Space. I am not entirely sure if any components will be updated before going to retail, but even if not, they are pretty decent. The gameplay is quick and easy to teach; I think I will try it with my 4-year-old as well. This is a decent gateway filler that could fit very well in many collections. Give it a look!
  
Dolittle (2020)
Dolittle (2020)
2020 | Adventure
A movie the whole family can enjoy together (0 more)
Downey's Jnr's take on a Welsh accent (0 more)
A complete mess, but kids will probably love it.
With the words of Mark Kermode's review ringing in my ears ("It's shockingly poor... and that's the same in any language") I was bracing myself when I went to see this latest incarnation of Hugh Lofting's famous animal-chatting character. And I have to agree that it is a shocking mess of a film, given $175 million was poured into this thing. But, and I say this cautiously without first-hand empirical evidence, I *think* this is a movie that kids in the 6 to 10 age range might fall in love with.

Doctor Doolittle (Robert Downey Jnr) - famed animal doctor, with the unique ability to communicate with any animal - is now holed up in his animal sanctuary, a recluse. His beloved wife - adventurer Lily - was lost at sea (in a cartoon sequence that could have just used the same clip from "Frozen"). He's lost the will to practice; and almost lost the will to live.

Impinging on his morose life come two humans: Tommy Stubbings (Harry Collett), a reluctant hunter with a wounded squirrel, and Lady Rose (Carmel Laniado), daughter of the Queen of England. (We'll quietly ignore the coincidence that, after what looks like several years of mourning, these two independently pitch up at Chez Doolittle within ten minutes of each other!).

For the Queen (the omnipresent Jessie Buckley) is dying, and noone (other than us viewers, let in on the deal) suspect foul play might be at work in the form of Lord Thomas Badgley (the ever-reliable Jim Broadbent) and the Queen's old leech-loving doctor Blair Müdfly (a moustache-twiddling Michael Sheen).

Doolittle must engage in a perilous journey to find the only cure that will save both the Queen and his animal sanctuary - the fruit of the tree on a missing island that his long lost love was searching for.

Let's start with the most obvious point first up. Robert Downey Jnr's Welsh accent is quite the most terrible, most preposterous, most unintelligible, most offensive (to the Welsh) attempt at an accent in a mainstream film in movie history. And that's really saying something when you have Laurence Olivier's Jewish father from "The Jazz Singer" and Russell Crowe's English cum Irish cum Scottish cum Yugoslavian "Robin Hood" in the list. Why? Just why? Was it to distance this version from Rex Harrison's? (Since most younger movie goers will be going "Rex who?" at this point, this seems unlikely). It's a wholly curious decision.

It turns RDj's presence in the movie from being an asset to a liability.

The movie has had a tortuous history. Filmed in 2018 at enormous expense, the film completely bombed at test screenings so they brought in more script writers to make it funnier and did extensive additional filming.

I actually disagree with the general view that the film is unfunny. For there are a few points in the movie where I laughed out loud. A fly's miraculous, if temporary, escape was one such moment. The duck laying an egg in fright, another.

However, these seem to stand out starkly in isolation as 'the funny bits they inserted'. Much of the rest of the movie's comedy falls painfully flat.

In terms of the acting, there are the obvious visual talents on show of Michael Sheen (doing a great English accent for a Welshman.... #irony), Jim Broadbent, Jessie Buckley, Joanna Page (blink and you'll miss her) and Antonio Banderas, as the swashbuckling pirate king cum father-in-law.

But the end titles are an amazing array of "Ah!" moments as the vocal performances are revealed: Emma Thompson as the parrot; Rami Malek as the gorilla; John Cena as the polar bear; Kumail Nanjiani at the ostrich; Octavia Spencer at the duck; Tom Holland as the dog; Selena Gomez as the giraffe; Marion Cotillade as the fox, Frances de la Tour as a flatulent dragon and Ralph Fiennes as an evil tiger with mummy issues. It's a gift for future contestants on "Pointless"!

There are a lot of poe-faced critics throwing brick-bats at this movie, and to a degree it's deserved. They lavished $175 million on it, and it looked like it was going to be a thumping loss. (However, against all the odds, at the time of writing it has grossed north of $184 million. And it only opened yesterday in China. So although not stellar in the world of blockbuster movies it's not going to be a studio-killer like "Heaven's Gate").

And I suspect there's a good reason for that latent salvation. I think kids are loving this movie, driving repeat viewings and unexpected word of mouth. It is certainly a family friendly experience. There are no truly terrifying scenes that will haunt young children. A dragon-induced death, not seen on screen, is - notwithstanding the intro Frozen-esque cartoon sequence - the only obvious one in the movie and is (as above) played for laughs. There are fantastical sets and landscapes. Performing whales. A happy-ending (albeit not the one I was cynically expecting). And an extended dragon-farting scene, and what kids are not going to love that!!

Directed by Stephen Gaghan ("Syriana", but better known as a writer than a director) it's a jumbled messy bear of a movie but is in no way an unpleasant watch. I would take a grandkid along to watch this again. It even has some nuggets of gold hidden within its matted coat.

As this is primarily one for the kids, I'm giving the movie two ratings: 4/10 for adults and 8/10 for kids... the Smashbomb rating is the mean of these.

(For the full graphical review, please check out the review on One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/02/22/doolittle-2019/ . Thanks).
  
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Sarah (7798 KP) Feb 23, 2020

I'd been trying to figure out from the trailer what accent RDJ was attempting terribly... conundrum now solved!

What Once Was Mine
What Once Was Mine
Liz Braswell | 2021 | Young Adult (YA)
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝑹𝒂𝒑𝒖𝒏𝒛𝒆𝒍’𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓?

As you will all know by now, I am in love with the Twisted Tales series and have to read each installment as they are released. What Once was Mine is the 12th Twisted Tale book and the 7th written by Liz Braswell so to say I was excited would be an understatement.

As always, TT books come with a tag line to lure you in and this one is “What if Rapunzel’s mother drank a potion from the wrong flower?” Yes, instead of the golden Sundrop flower, the ailing pregnant queen is mistakenly given a potion using the Moondrop flower, resulting in a silver-haired princess whose power kills rather than heals!

Of course, that casts the whole locking the princess in a tower concept into an entirely new light! However, many of the other elements remain the same as Disney’s ‘Tangled’ movie: Gothel is Rapunzel’s captor and “mother”, Flynn steals a crown and is on the run from the Stabbington brothers and Rapunzel is desperate to see the floating lights.

What Liz Braswell manages to do (very well, in my opinion) is to maintain all these similarities, keeping her readers rooted to the original story but also to bend the original fairytale into something a bit more mature, a bit darker and, in some cases, a bit more real.


“𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚𝙙, 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙙𝙨, 𝙍𝙖𝙥𝙪𝙣𝙯𝙚𝙡”

What Once was Mine is written from Rapunzel’s perspective. Now, this may be an obvious choice, but it also gives Braswell the opportunity to show her protagonist in a slightly more mature light than we are used to. Yes, Rapunzel is scatty, enthusiastic and teeth-grittingly cheerful about everything but she also believes she is dangerous and that she belongs in the tower for the safety of others.

Rapunzel has always been told that her hair killed her parents and that Gothel has been charged with her care and protection. However, what I really enjoyed about Braswell’s Rapunzel is that, although she begins with the same blind faith in Gothel as she has in the movie, she soon develops an inner turmoil of emotions with regards to her captor, questioning where she spends her days and recognising the little digs often made at the daughter’s expense.

As her journey continues, Rapunzel observes other mother-daughter relationships and her doubt and distrust of Gothel begins to build as a result. Lords, ladies and bandits alike are hunting for Rapunzel in order to claim her as their prize but this couldn’t be orchestrated by her mother, the only family she has ever known, could it?

“𝘽𝙚𝙜𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙗𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛, 𝙍𝙖𝙥𝙪𝙣𝙯𝙚𝙡. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙖 𝙛𝙖𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙞𝙛𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙨.”

I have conflicting feelings when it comes to the darker elements of What Once Was Mine. The inclusion of the very real Countess Bathory took me by surprise and was quite gruesome in places: not a problem for a grown-up Disney nerd but I’m not sure whether I will be passing this one along to the Mini Bookworm any time soon.

There is also the narrator of the story: a brother making up an alternative Rapunzel story for his sister while she is undergoing chemo. I understand this is an emotive topic for the author and I almost got it as a tool for the story-telling, enabling the use of quite modern, colloquial terms such as “murderhair” and enabling the creative inclusion of characters such as Maximus.

I really wanted this technique to be profound and make the story mean more, such as fairytales having an important place in the modern world for example. Unfortunately, it fell a little flat for me: it was an interesting tweak but it didn’t make me feel as much as I wanted it to.

It is not all doom and gloom though, Rapunzel’s perspective of the world provides comic moments: her (limited) knowledge of the world comes from the 37 books that she owns, leading to a moose that is definitely a squirrel and a cat which acts suspiciously like a fox. We are also not deprived of the regulars of The Snuggly Duckling, indeed all of your favourites from the film turn up for this novel.

Braswell’s characterisation when it came to Flynn was spot on in my opinion. The observation by Rapunzel that there is the “real” Flynn and then there is the charming, roguish mask he uses was perfect! Gina was also a great addition, desperately trying to be an adventurer/criminal and not being taken seriously just because she is a girl. The relationship between her and Flynn was adorable and, of course, Gina’s mother is just legendary.

“𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨; 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣 𝙪𝙣𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙤𝙛 𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙘𝙮”

The writing style isn’t for everyone and, I must admit, this is the twisted tale which I have probably put down and walked away from the most. However, if you can stick it through the slow sections the story is really worth it and provides a much-admired evolution of the Disney Princess.

Don’t get me wrong - in the animated movie Rapunzel is great and all but by the end she is a princess with a haircut and a smouldering husband. Braswell’s Rapunzel has magic that she needs to study, understand and control, she is a future Queen in the making and simply has more of a purpose than her animated counterpart.

“𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙥𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙗𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣”


What Once Was Mine brings a whole new depth to the characters of Disney’s Tangled. It gives us a new (frankly, disgusting) villain alongside all our favourite characters and definitely presents a creative twist on the traditional story. Don’t worry, Rapunzel still gets her Happily Ever After, but she fought a little harder for it this time around!