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Terms of Endearment (1983)
Terms of Endearment (1983)
1983 | Comedy, Drama, Romance

"Terms of Endearment is always a touchstone movie for me. That’s one of the best acted comedy-dramas that has ever been made. I can never get enough of Terms of Endearment. I find myself watching it over and over again. It does everything that I want a movie to do. I fall in love with the characters. I care about their journeys. It never does anything easy to make me like the characters. It doesn’t sell out the characters for likeability. They all do things that are awful to each other. The relationships are very complicated. Yet, you root for all of them when you watch the movie. A large portion of the movie is also about cancer. It’s treated realistically and it is also hilarious in some of those moments. It’s not a maudlin movie. There are moments in that movie that I think about all the time that haunt me. The moment when Shirley MacLaine is yelling at the nurse to give her daughter more medicine… As you get older, you find yourself in those situations. It may be my favorite film of all time."

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The Farewell (2019)
The Farewell (2019)
2019 | Comedy, Drama
Faintly oddball comedy-drama successfully pulls off that trick of looking like being about one thing but actually covering lots of ground. Chinese matriarch is found to have terminal cancer; in accordance with local tradition the family keep her in the dark about this but organise a fake wedding as an excuse to get together one last time. New York-based scion of the family Awkwafina, grand-daughter of the dying woman, is very doubtful of the ethicality of this.

You expect a film about grief, and to some extent this is one, although it's really a chronicle of grief foretold, as the characters anticipate a loss to come. It's also about cultural differences, family life, and the way in which people routinely tell lies to each other every single day simply in order to keep life livable. The film skates along over the top of all this and treats it all with a light and delicate touch. Not an absolute tear-jerker, I thought, but there are some very touching moments (then again, I may be emotionally atrophied, who knows). Not a huge amount actually happens but the film has clearly been made with intelligence and skill.