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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Hunters of the Lost Creatures in Tabletop Games
May 8, 2022
If you are reading this, then we can agree on a few things: board games are cool and interesting, silly themes are usually fun, and we are all kids at heart. I appreciate other gamers so much because we all share a common bond of experiencing good and bad games, good and bad rules, as well as good and bad explanations of these rules. I would spoil it up top here if I let on which of these categories our featured game falls into, right? So keep reading.
Hunters of the Lost Creatures is a silly set collection card game for three to four players. In it, players assume the roles of zoological park curators charged with collecting unique creatures for their parks. They do this by bidding on and drafting creature cards, playing take-that style cards on their opponents, and blocking their cards from being manipulated by others.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, players choose one hunter card from each of the four hunting zones: Sea, Forest, Plains, and Air, as well as three “Park Closed” cards. The creature cards are to be split by zone and shuffled, with one special card (Turnado and Cat-a-Pult) added. These shuffled decks are then placed on the table and the top card revealed from each deck. Players decide turn order and the game may begin!
Hands are mostly played simultaneously, with players choosing either a hunter or special card from their hand and placing it face-down in front of themselves. All cards are revealed simultaneously and the card effects are applied. If a player has revealed a hunter, and no other players have the same-colored background/terrain type, that player receives the matching card from those on offer and places it in their park (tableau), or ANY OTHER PLAYER’S park. If ALL players have chosen the same terrain type hunters, the card on offer is removed from the game entirely. However, if not all hunters match, but at least one matches, the matching hunters’ players receive no cards.
Should a player choose to play a special card, their effects are triggered once per game. These include Turnado (switch any two creatures in any two parks), Cat-a-Pult (discards any creature from any player’s park), Thieves (steal any one terrain-matching creature and places it in the Thieves player’s park) and Closed Park (protects the player from the effects of aforementioned special cards). Again, these special cards may only be played once per game, so special consideration is needed as part of their strategy.
The game continues in this fashion of players throwing cards, messing with each other using special cards, and protecting themselves from said special cards until only one stack of creature cards remains. The game ends and points are tallied per the scoring table in the rulebook. The winner is promoted to Head Creature Park Guy and is carried around by the other players. Okay, that’s not at all true. They just win the game.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of Hunters of the Lost Creatures, so all components shown here are subject to change at any time. That said, I received a huge deck of cards in a cute black cloth bag. The cards are all decent quality, and not super glossy, which I appreciate. The art on these cards are all whimsical and silly, which match the silly and punny titles for each. Some of these punny titles can be seen in our photos, with my favorites being the Dandylion (a well-“dressed” weed with a cane and lion face) and the Cougar (which is subtle, but portrays an adult apex big cat with a smaller and younger cat hanging on it). If you enjoy these somewhat intellectual, and sometimes visual, puns you will enjoy these cards.
What I have found in playing through this several times is that it is best when all players are taught the game backwards…ly. I mean to say that players need to know the premise, but most importantly, the scoring system before even the setup. Points are scored for having a run of 1-2-3, a straight of 0-1-2-3-10, at least one card from each terrain type, and for the printed value on the cards. It is more than simply collecting all the favorite cards or even highest value 10 cards. So there is strategy in collecting the best assortment of creatures for scoring purposes, which is great because otherwise this game is not really a game at all.
As players play their hunters to draft creatures, I have found that many players choose to chase the same cards over and over. It becomes obvious that most players will be vying for the value 10 cards, so the players who figure this out and grab the second best card is usually happier with the hand. Of course, more strategy is employed once the special cards are played, as they each mess with opponents in different ways. So even though I may not have acquired that 10 of Forest, I might grab the Turnado and switch out a value 0 or -10 card for that sparkling value 10. Wait, negative 10? Yep. Sometimes life just smacks you around and you get stuck with a -10 card to really punish your great play. Not that it ever happened to me, and not that I would be bitter about it.
The real game hinges on the usage of the special cards. When do you play them? Whom do you target? Turnabout is fair play, after all, and no alliances can be formed whilst playing Hunters of the Lost Creatures. Now, it is hinted at in the rulebook that preview copies ship with entry-level rules, which mean (to me) that more advanced rules may be coming in the final game, or at least some variants to spice up the gameplay. If true, then this game becomes much more interesting to me. Don’t get me wrong. I have enjoyed almost all of my plays, but be warned that playing with spiteful gamers may end poorly for a fun-filled game night.
All in all, I am excited to see how the campaign for Hunters of the Lost Creatures fares, as I believe many gamers and non-gamers alike will enjoy it. I would be super jazzed to grab a final copy if it does in fact ship with alternate or advanced rules, or if the creatures of the same value had unique names and art. That would really satisfy. Keep the bag or go traditional cardboard box, it matters not to me. Just beef up the card quality, add even more uniqueness and fanciful art and you’ve got a fan in me. Grab your copy during the Kickstarter campaign launching May 10, 2022!
Hunters of the Lost Creatures is a silly set collection card game for three to four players. In it, players assume the roles of zoological park curators charged with collecting unique creatures for their parks. They do this by bidding on and drafting creature cards, playing take-that style cards on their opponents, and blocking their cards from being manipulated by others.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, players choose one hunter card from each of the four hunting zones: Sea, Forest, Plains, and Air, as well as three “Park Closed” cards. The creature cards are to be split by zone and shuffled, with one special card (Turnado and Cat-a-Pult) added. These shuffled decks are then placed on the table and the top card revealed from each deck. Players decide turn order and the game may begin!
Hands are mostly played simultaneously, with players choosing either a hunter or special card from their hand and placing it face-down in front of themselves. All cards are revealed simultaneously and the card effects are applied. If a player has revealed a hunter, and no other players have the same-colored background/terrain type, that player receives the matching card from those on offer and places it in their park (tableau), or ANY OTHER PLAYER’S park. If ALL players have chosen the same terrain type hunters, the card on offer is removed from the game entirely. However, if not all hunters match, but at least one matches, the matching hunters’ players receive no cards.
Should a player choose to play a special card, their effects are triggered once per game. These include Turnado (switch any two creatures in any two parks), Cat-a-Pult (discards any creature from any player’s park), Thieves (steal any one terrain-matching creature and places it in the Thieves player’s park) and Closed Park (protects the player from the effects of aforementioned special cards). Again, these special cards may only be played once per game, so special consideration is needed as part of their strategy.
The game continues in this fashion of players throwing cards, messing with each other using special cards, and protecting themselves from said special cards until only one stack of creature cards remains. The game ends and points are tallied per the scoring table in the rulebook. The winner is promoted to Head Creature Park Guy and is carried around by the other players. Okay, that’s not at all true. They just win the game.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of Hunters of the Lost Creatures, so all components shown here are subject to change at any time. That said, I received a huge deck of cards in a cute black cloth bag. The cards are all decent quality, and not super glossy, which I appreciate. The art on these cards are all whimsical and silly, which match the silly and punny titles for each. Some of these punny titles can be seen in our photos, with my favorites being the Dandylion (a well-“dressed” weed with a cane and lion face) and the Cougar (which is subtle, but portrays an adult apex big cat with a smaller and younger cat hanging on it). If you enjoy these somewhat intellectual, and sometimes visual, puns you will enjoy these cards.
What I have found in playing through this several times is that it is best when all players are taught the game backwards…ly. I mean to say that players need to know the premise, but most importantly, the scoring system before even the setup. Points are scored for having a run of 1-2-3, a straight of 0-1-2-3-10, at least one card from each terrain type, and for the printed value on the cards. It is more than simply collecting all the favorite cards or even highest value 10 cards. So there is strategy in collecting the best assortment of creatures for scoring purposes, which is great because otherwise this game is not really a game at all.
As players play their hunters to draft creatures, I have found that many players choose to chase the same cards over and over. It becomes obvious that most players will be vying for the value 10 cards, so the players who figure this out and grab the second best card is usually happier with the hand. Of course, more strategy is employed once the special cards are played, as they each mess with opponents in different ways. So even though I may not have acquired that 10 of Forest, I might grab the Turnado and switch out a value 0 or -10 card for that sparkling value 10. Wait, negative 10? Yep. Sometimes life just smacks you around and you get stuck with a -10 card to really punish your great play. Not that it ever happened to me, and not that I would be bitter about it.
The real game hinges on the usage of the special cards. When do you play them? Whom do you target? Turnabout is fair play, after all, and no alliances can be formed whilst playing Hunters of the Lost Creatures. Now, it is hinted at in the rulebook that preview copies ship with entry-level rules, which mean (to me) that more advanced rules may be coming in the final game, or at least some variants to spice up the gameplay. If true, then this game becomes much more interesting to me. Don’t get me wrong. I have enjoyed almost all of my plays, but be warned that playing with spiteful gamers may end poorly for a fun-filled game night.
All in all, I am excited to see how the campaign for Hunters of the Lost Creatures fares, as I believe many gamers and non-gamers alike will enjoy it. I would be super jazzed to grab a final copy if it does in fact ship with alternate or advanced rules, or if the creatures of the same value had unique names and art. That would really satisfy. Keep the bag or go traditional cardboard box, it matters not to me. Just beef up the card quality, add even more uniqueness and fanciful art and you’ve got a fan in me. Grab your copy during the Kickstarter campaign launching May 10, 2022!

Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Captain Marvel (2019) in Movies
Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Sep 25, 2019)
Midnight screening... what was I thinking? Somehow I managed to stay awake in the cinema (others didn't fare so well), but I went in pretty pumped up. Not so much for the film but the overall atmosphere of a Marvel first screening. There were over 100 tickets pre-booked, and the cinema was certainly very busy. There's something about the buzz of an audience that big. I did try and hold a couple of conversations while I was there, they were not successful due to my brain's impaired state.
*sigh*
Let me just get this out now... I enjoyed this movie, but I also didn't like it. I know, what does that even mean? I'm going to waffle a bit and hopefully it'll become clear.
I don't have a lot of pre-knowledge about Captain Marvel, in fact, until the trailers started coming out I'd probably have asked if you meant Ms Marvel or Shazam. As always the similarities between characters and brand is a complete mess.
Brie Larson had some pretty big boots to fill as the MCU's first headlining female character. I feel a bit sorry for Black Widow to be honest, but this is probably a bit lighter than her offering would have been considering her background.
Watching the trailers for this I wasn't left wowed. Vers comes across as rather cocky and after seeing the film I don't think she needed to be that way. Part of me thinks that a difference actress would have played it better, but mainly I'm just happy that they didn't ruin it.
Samuel L. Jackson was a treat, but then when isn't he?! It was nice seeing this more light-hearted side of his character. It leaves us with a little gap in his history that makes me wonder what happened to him. As ever he's a great presence and shows us just a glimpse of what's to come (or rather what we've already seen) while still being funny.
Ben Mendelsohn has made a rather large splash over the last few years in big-ticket movies. Rogue One, Ready Player One, Robin Hood and now Captain Marvel. His character of Talos is comical and warm but I found it slightly strange hearing him with his normal accent. That seems even weirder when I write it down, I guess I'm just hardwired to expect most aliens to sound American! He's definitely my stand out actor in this, he handles the twists and turns of the story wonderfully and made for an incredible surprise. There was one moment with a terrible bit of script that made me cringe at the screen but everything else made up for it.
I probably need to say something about Jude Law, that something is going to be "meh". I'm not sure that I'm fuzzed by any of his roles historically, and this isn't really any different. He also suffered from a dubious bit of script near the end of the film that feels out of place, but I'll leave that one for you to contemplate on.
I know I've been a bit of a mix so far about Captain Marvel but there are a lot of things to like about this movie. In particular, Marvel have really nailed music on the head recently, Guardians Of The Galaxy (1 not 2) and Thor: Ragnarok being two of my favourites. There's that moment of joy when you hear those old tunes, a smile crept across my face for every one of them. It was a great selection and they fitted into place amongst the story so well.
Nostalgia value is high in this one. Ahh, Blockbuster, I do miss you. There are plenty of things to spot, I'm sure that someone has already created a bingo game to go along with it... or a drinking game, "cry into your drink uncontrollably when you see Stan Lee". We obviously knew he'd filmed some cameos before he moved on into his big ol' galaxy, it was lovely to see him smiling out at us. Not only was it a fun little cameo but Marvel also did something magical with those opening titles and it made me cry... don't judge me!! I didn't cry as much as I did during the credit tribute in Once Upon A Deadpool though.
I could keep waffling, I'm fully aware that I've gone on a lot longer than normal about this one. I'll try not to keep you too much longer.
Obviously they've used some artistic license with the characters from the comics, as they do. The Skrull minions are so close to the comics, I was a little dubious about them when they popped up but they're carbon copies. The main thing that I know they changed was Nick Fury's eye, this version is better than the comics. I'd be interested to know how SLJ felt about finally being able to play Fury with both his eyes.
De-aging was used again but with much heavier usage than we've seen before. It was a bold choice doing it on one of the main characters when he's got so much screen time but I'm glad they chose this over recasting him. There weren't any of the minor oddities that were visible during Ant-Man & The Wasp's use of it, it all looked quite natural. There's no denying that Coulson might be a little overdone but *squeeeeee* little Coulson is so adorable that I don't care!
I mentioned my issues with Vers in the trailers, that wasn't the only misgiving I had. There weren't as many as the "I'm never going to see this movie" crowd (you know you're going to see it, get ahold of yourselves) but there were a few.
We've been with this series for over 10 years, this film leads into the last film in the sequence... and now they're giving us a new character? That's what I have an issue with. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea that they're bringing in a female character to clear up the mess created by the (mainly) boy's club, it's art imitating life... I'm joking, partly... but I can't help feeling like this is more of a last minute add-on. Previous new additions have appeared in other films, they've been able to interact with characters. The whole way through we've been shown teamwork and camaraderie, and throwing Captain Marvel in at the last minute flies in the face of that. But if we'd had her around before this then we probably wouldn't have needed Endgame because there would have been no distractions from what needed to be done. (Before you start on me we see that for a fact, none of Thor and Starlord's nonsense.)
For all of my waffling about it feeling separate they have clearly tried to connect her to the existing MCU. There are links in there on multiple fronts which give you hints at other films, it's quite impressive that they managed to make this without it being filled with series continuity errors.
As my last parting comment I want to say that Goose was amazing. Sadly not so hot on the CGI, I did wonder at one point if he was going to jump up and dance Garfield-style at one point. Annoyingly I already knew some details about this fluffy character before seeing the film but it just left me with anticipation. I didn't think that Fury would be a cat person though.
What you should do
If you're a Marvel fan you're going to have to see it before Endgame, but quite frankly you should want to see it. You could skip it if you really want to... but do you want to risk it? No, I didn't think so.
REMEMBER: There are two credit scenes, one in the middle and one at the end.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
Of all the things I'd have to say Goose, that cute little floof would brighten my day as well as coming in handy for several reasons.
*sigh*
Let me just get this out now... I enjoyed this movie, but I also didn't like it. I know, what does that even mean? I'm going to waffle a bit and hopefully it'll become clear.
I don't have a lot of pre-knowledge about Captain Marvel, in fact, until the trailers started coming out I'd probably have asked if you meant Ms Marvel or Shazam. As always the similarities between characters and brand is a complete mess.
Brie Larson had some pretty big boots to fill as the MCU's first headlining female character. I feel a bit sorry for Black Widow to be honest, but this is probably a bit lighter than her offering would have been considering her background.
Watching the trailers for this I wasn't left wowed. Vers comes across as rather cocky and after seeing the film I don't think she needed to be that way. Part of me thinks that a difference actress would have played it better, but mainly I'm just happy that they didn't ruin it.
Samuel L. Jackson was a treat, but then when isn't he?! It was nice seeing this more light-hearted side of his character. It leaves us with a little gap in his history that makes me wonder what happened to him. As ever he's a great presence and shows us just a glimpse of what's to come (or rather what we've already seen) while still being funny.
Ben Mendelsohn has made a rather large splash over the last few years in big-ticket movies. Rogue One, Ready Player One, Robin Hood and now Captain Marvel. His character of Talos is comical and warm but I found it slightly strange hearing him with his normal accent. That seems even weirder when I write it down, I guess I'm just hardwired to expect most aliens to sound American! He's definitely my stand out actor in this, he handles the twists and turns of the story wonderfully and made for an incredible surprise. There was one moment with a terrible bit of script that made me cringe at the screen but everything else made up for it.
I probably need to say something about Jude Law, that something is going to be "meh". I'm not sure that I'm fuzzed by any of his roles historically, and this isn't really any different. He also suffered from a dubious bit of script near the end of the film that feels out of place, but I'll leave that one for you to contemplate on.
I know I've been a bit of a mix so far about Captain Marvel but there are a lot of things to like about this movie. In particular, Marvel have really nailed music on the head recently, Guardians Of The Galaxy (1 not 2) and Thor: Ragnarok being two of my favourites. There's that moment of joy when you hear those old tunes, a smile crept across my face for every one of them. It was a great selection and they fitted into place amongst the story so well.
Nostalgia value is high in this one. Ahh, Blockbuster, I do miss you. There are plenty of things to spot, I'm sure that someone has already created a bingo game to go along with it... or a drinking game, "cry into your drink uncontrollably when you see Stan Lee". We obviously knew he'd filmed some cameos before he moved on into his big ol' galaxy, it was lovely to see him smiling out at us. Not only was it a fun little cameo but Marvel also did something magical with those opening titles and it made me cry... don't judge me!! I didn't cry as much as I did during the credit tribute in Once Upon A Deadpool though.
I could keep waffling, I'm fully aware that I've gone on a lot longer than normal about this one. I'll try not to keep you too much longer.
Obviously they've used some artistic license with the characters from the comics, as they do. The Skrull minions are so close to the comics, I was a little dubious about them when they popped up but they're carbon copies. The main thing that I know they changed was Nick Fury's eye, this version is better than the comics. I'd be interested to know how SLJ felt about finally being able to play Fury with both his eyes.
De-aging was used again but with much heavier usage than we've seen before. It was a bold choice doing it on one of the main characters when he's got so much screen time but I'm glad they chose this over recasting him. There weren't any of the minor oddities that were visible during Ant-Man & The Wasp's use of it, it all looked quite natural. There's no denying that Coulson might be a little overdone but *squeeeeee* little Coulson is so adorable that I don't care!
I mentioned my issues with Vers in the trailers, that wasn't the only misgiving I had. There weren't as many as the "I'm never going to see this movie" crowd (you know you're going to see it, get ahold of yourselves) but there were a few.
We've been with this series for over 10 years, this film leads into the last film in the sequence... and now they're giving us a new character? That's what I have an issue with. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea that they're bringing in a female character to clear up the mess created by the (mainly) boy's club, it's art imitating life... I'm joking, partly... but I can't help feeling like this is more of a last minute add-on. Previous new additions have appeared in other films, they've been able to interact with characters. The whole way through we've been shown teamwork and camaraderie, and throwing Captain Marvel in at the last minute flies in the face of that. But if we'd had her around before this then we probably wouldn't have needed Endgame because there would have been no distractions from what needed to be done. (Before you start on me we see that for a fact, none of Thor and Starlord's nonsense.)
For all of my waffling about it feeling separate they have clearly tried to connect her to the existing MCU. There are links in there on multiple fronts which give you hints at other films, it's quite impressive that they managed to make this without it being filled with series continuity errors.
As my last parting comment I want to say that Goose was amazing. Sadly not so hot on the CGI, I did wonder at one point if he was going to jump up and dance Garfield-style at one point. Annoyingly I already knew some details about this fluffy character before seeing the film but it just left me with anticipation. I didn't think that Fury would be a cat person though.
What you should do
If you're a Marvel fan you're going to have to see it before Endgame, but quite frankly you should want to see it. You could skip it if you really want to... but do you want to risk it? No, I didn't think so.
REMEMBER: There are two credit scenes, one in the middle and one at the end.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
Of all the things I'd have to say Goose, that cute little floof would brighten my day as well as coming in handy for several reasons.

Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Aladdin (2019) in Movies
Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Sep 25, 2019)
Oh. My. This was always going to be a tough one for me, and I've been thinking long and hard about how on earth I was going to review this. I love the original, anyone who even remotely enjoys it would be able to sing you at least one of the songs, and therein lies one of the problems. Would I have had a different opinion about some of the elements had I not seen the original so many times? After a lot of contemplating I think the answer in most cases is no.
Note: I went to see this for a second time so I'm going to edit what I previously wrote up as I go because on second viewing it was better. Once the initial shock and annoyance had passed after seeing it the first time it was much easier to watch for the second time.
Remaking something that's peak Disney has so many issues, recasting roles, changing social views and cultural sensitivities, are probably the biggest ones.
Let's talk about the (blue) elephant in the room... although I guess that phrase isn't really accurate as we all want to talk about it. Oh Genie, my Genie. I don't think anyone would have been able to fill that lamp the way Robin Williams did, he was larger than life and brought such a sense of fun whenever he did roles like this. The man is a comedic legend. Recasting this was always going to be difficult, and honestly, I don't know if there's anyone I would have been happy with taking over the mantle.
When I found out that Will Smith was on board I wasn't completely put off. On paper he's got everything you'd need for this role. He had one of two choices, stick to the original faithfully or take it your own way. I just don't think Smith actually had a choice though, he was going to have to do a reinterpretation of the role, but how could you ever follow Williams?
The thing I'm most surprised about with Genie is just how bad the CGI is. It's not like this is something Disney are unfamiliar with. Why did some of it even need to be CGId? I obviously don't know the ins and outs of these techniques or options, but if people can make Robbie Coltrane look larger than life in Harry Potter without mucking it up then why aren't they smurfing Will Smith up and doing the same?
Casting across the rest of the film wasn't such an epic task, Mena Massoud as Aladdin and Navid Negahban as the Sultan hit exactly the right spot. I had issues with Jafar, that's nothing to do with Marwan Kenzari's acting which was very good, but it was the fact that in my head Jafar should have been older. (Dream casting: Ben Kingsley.) I'm sure I won't be popular saying this but I didn't really like Naomi Scott as Jasmine, I don't think she brought enough sass to the role, I also felt that some of the new inclusions into the film around Jasmine negatively affected my view of her.
By far and away my favourite from the live action cast was Nasim Pedrad as Dalia, Jasmine's lady in waiting. I don't know why they felt the need to bring this character in, but I'm really glad they did. She's funny and a welcome break in some scenes. She completely outshines Jasmine as almost every point in the film... actually, I retract the word "almost". While I might not be happy about part of her character's story (ask me for the spoilers) she was definitely the best added extra in the film.
Our group of sidekicks, Abu, Iago, Rajah and Carpet all come out with varying degrees of success. Abu wasn't entirely lucky with the CGI and didn't get such a fun part as before. Iago was much more bird-like than previously which meant less actual talking so I have to wonder why they hired Alan Tudyk if they weren't going to use him properly. Rajah while less quizzical than in the original was entertaining and luckily wasn't mutilated by the CGI. Carpet though, I loved Carpet. He was super cute and absolutely adorable with Abu.
I'm not going to go over every change they made to the original, but one tweak particularly bugged me. They change the way that Aladdin gets out of the cave of wonders. The verbal trickery that Aladdin uses in the original is gone and they switch it out for a much more deceitful moment. The idea isn't as clever as its predecessor and also means that later in the film when Aladdin tricks Jafar you don't get that same connection, watching Genie working out what was going on was painful viewing.
I can't really put off talking about the songs anymore.
As trailers and sneak peeks appeared online I became increasingly nervous about the songs. Prince Ali seemed to be less upbeat than before, and while the sequence looked like it had potential all of it together didn't feel as vibrant. I appreciate that they tried to keep all those little Genie added extra in but it felt like they went with a "safe" option.
I enjoy Will Smith's singing, but I'm not a fan of it in this. I don't think the change in style is suited to these songs. I've seen people saying about how he's rapping in it... but I wouldn't have identified it as rapping. If anything it felt like they went "you should get some rapping in there, but we're Disney so tone it down... a lot."
We get a new offering on the soundtrack in the shape of Speechless, Jasmine's empowering song. I like the song, it certainly has the Disney vibe, and Scott sings it beautifully... but it didn't give me those goosebumps that I expect from power songs. I probably would have given the song a pass had it not been for the way it was included in the film. The frozen scenes with Jasmine dramatically moving in and out of the cast and set... ugh... that just didn't work for me.
Massoud had originally given me so much hope for the music when I heard One Jump Ahead at the beginning. It was excellent, and throughout the film I loved his singing.
Here's where my opinion changed a bit after my second visit... the songs weren't all as bad as I'd felt after the first viewing. I still didn't enjoy Genie's offering, but Aladdin and Jasmine both felt like an excellent choice. The main thing that didn't change was the fact that I didn't feel the songs fit well into the scenes. Part of the draw of Disney is the toe-tapping singalong vibe you get from the music, and there was a lack of pizzaz in most of the sequences that left my toes untapped.
I could probably go on for a very long time about this film. (I already have.) Ultimately, I don't think it's an improvement on the original, I don't think these modern rehashes really add a lot when you have to adjust for the modern culture. I'm not saying that you shouldn't take the changing times into consideration, I just think you should do it in a way that doesn't just come across as trying to score points with the audience to prove how "with it" you are. I also don't think that coming up with 30 minutes of extra footage is ever a sensible idea. If that's what you want to do then perhaps you need to really mix things up and come up with a whole new concept for the story.
What you should do
You're either a Disney nut or you're not. Personally, I would recommend staying at home and having a binge of old Disney classics, starting with the one true Genie.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
Could I get Genie powers without the itty-bitty living space?
Note: I went to see this for a second time so I'm going to edit what I previously wrote up as I go because on second viewing it was better. Once the initial shock and annoyance had passed after seeing it the first time it was much easier to watch for the second time.
Remaking something that's peak Disney has so many issues, recasting roles, changing social views and cultural sensitivities, are probably the biggest ones.
Let's talk about the (blue) elephant in the room... although I guess that phrase isn't really accurate as we all want to talk about it. Oh Genie, my Genie. I don't think anyone would have been able to fill that lamp the way Robin Williams did, he was larger than life and brought such a sense of fun whenever he did roles like this. The man is a comedic legend. Recasting this was always going to be difficult, and honestly, I don't know if there's anyone I would have been happy with taking over the mantle.
When I found out that Will Smith was on board I wasn't completely put off. On paper he's got everything you'd need for this role. He had one of two choices, stick to the original faithfully or take it your own way. I just don't think Smith actually had a choice though, he was going to have to do a reinterpretation of the role, but how could you ever follow Williams?
The thing I'm most surprised about with Genie is just how bad the CGI is. It's not like this is something Disney are unfamiliar with. Why did some of it even need to be CGId? I obviously don't know the ins and outs of these techniques or options, but if people can make Robbie Coltrane look larger than life in Harry Potter without mucking it up then why aren't they smurfing Will Smith up and doing the same?
Casting across the rest of the film wasn't such an epic task, Mena Massoud as Aladdin and Navid Negahban as the Sultan hit exactly the right spot. I had issues with Jafar, that's nothing to do with Marwan Kenzari's acting which was very good, but it was the fact that in my head Jafar should have been older. (Dream casting: Ben Kingsley.) I'm sure I won't be popular saying this but I didn't really like Naomi Scott as Jasmine, I don't think she brought enough sass to the role, I also felt that some of the new inclusions into the film around Jasmine negatively affected my view of her.
By far and away my favourite from the live action cast was Nasim Pedrad as Dalia, Jasmine's lady in waiting. I don't know why they felt the need to bring this character in, but I'm really glad they did. She's funny and a welcome break in some scenes. She completely outshines Jasmine as almost every point in the film... actually, I retract the word "almost". While I might not be happy about part of her character's story (ask me for the spoilers) she was definitely the best added extra in the film.
Our group of sidekicks, Abu, Iago, Rajah and Carpet all come out with varying degrees of success. Abu wasn't entirely lucky with the CGI and didn't get such a fun part as before. Iago was much more bird-like than previously which meant less actual talking so I have to wonder why they hired Alan Tudyk if they weren't going to use him properly. Rajah while less quizzical than in the original was entertaining and luckily wasn't mutilated by the CGI. Carpet though, I loved Carpet. He was super cute and absolutely adorable with Abu.
I'm not going to go over every change they made to the original, but one tweak particularly bugged me. They change the way that Aladdin gets out of the cave of wonders. The verbal trickery that Aladdin uses in the original is gone and they switch it out for a much more deceitful moment. The idea isn't as clever as its predecessor and also means that later in the film when Aladdin tricks Jafar you don't get that same connection, watching Genie working out what was going on was painful viewing.
I can't really put off talking about the songs anymore.
As trailers and sneak peeks appeared online I became increasingly nervous about the songs. Prince Ali seemed to be less upbeat than before, and while the sequence looked like it had potential all of it together didn't feel as vibrant. I appreciate that they tried to keep all those little Genie added extra in but it felt like they went with a "safe" option.
I enjoy Will Smith's singing, but I'm not a fan of it in this. I don't think the change in style is suited to these songs. I've seen people saying about how he's rapping in it... but I wouldn't have identified it as rapping. If anything it felt like they went "you should get some rapping in there, but we're Disney so tone it down... a lot."
We get a new offering on the soundtrack in the shape of Speechless, Jasmine's empowering song. I like the song, it certainly has the Disney vibe, and Scott sings it beautifully... but it didn't give me those goosebumps that I expect from power songs. I probably would have given the song a pass had it not been for the way it was included in the film. The frozen scenes with Jasmine dramatically moving in and out of the cast and set... ugh... that just didn't work for me.
Massoud had originally given me so much hope for the music when I heard One Jump Ahead at the beginning. It was excellent, and throughout the film I loved his singing.
Here's where my opinion changed a bit after my second visit... the songs weren't all as bad as I'd felt after the first viewing. I still didn't enjoy Genie's offering, but Aladdin and Jasmine both felt like an excellent choice. The main thing that didn't change was the fact that I didn't feel the songs fit well into the scenes. Part of the draw of Disney is the toe-tapping singalong vibe you get from the music, and there was a lack of pizzaz in most of the sequences that left my toes untapped.
I could probably go on for a very long time about this film. (I already have.) Ultimately, I don't think it's an improvement on the original, I don't think these modern rehashes really add a lot when you have to adjust for the modern culture. I'm not saying that you shouldn't take the changing times into consideration, I just think you should do it in a way that doesn't just come across as trying to score points with the audience to prove how "with it" you are. I also don't think that coming up with 30 minutes of extra footage is ever a sensible idea. If that's what you want to do then perhaps you need to really mix things up and come up with a whole new concept for the story.
What you should do
You're either a Disney nut or you're not. Personally, I would recommend staying at home and having a binge of old Disney classics, starting with the one true Genie.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
Could I get Genie powers without the itty-bitty living space?

Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Marvel United in Tabletop Games
Sep 1, 2021
This has probably been mentioned before, but I love Marvel superheroes. My favorite has got to be Spider-Man, hands down. Feel free to send me an email if you’d like to hear my thoughts on who is the best Spider-Man – Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, or Tom Holland. I’m getting off topic here… Anyway – when I saw the massive Kickstarter campaign for Marvel United, I knew it was going to be big. Admittedly, I didn’t join in on the campaign (teacher salaries, amiright?), but I did snag a copy of the base game post-campaign. Does the game live up to my expectations? Or does it fall flat, like a DC movie? (OOOOOOH BURN)
Disclaimer: This review encompasses only the base game of Marvel United. There are a number of expansions, but they will not be addressed in this review. -L
Marvel United is a cooperative game in which players take on the roles of various Marvel superheroes tasked with stopping the main Villain from completing their Villainous Plot. Follow the setup instructions detailed in the rulebook, selecting a Villain with whom to battle, 6 random Locations, and whichever Heroes you decide to use to fight the big bad. Place Threat cards, Civilians, and Thugs on the various Locations as indicated, and place the Villain and Heroes as described in the rules. Shuffle the Master Plan deck and respective Hero decks, and each player draws a hand of 3 cards. Choose a Hero as the ‘starting’ Hero, and the game is now ready to begin!
Over a series of turns, players will be resolving Villain effects and playing Hero cards to perform actions. The game always begins with a Villain turn, and the first step is to reveal a Master Plan card, adding it to the Storyline (table). Master Plan cards have different effects to be resolved – move the Villain to a new Location, BAM! effects (usually attacking Heroes or advancing their Villainous Plot towards victory), and adding Civilians/Thugs to surrounding Locations. Once all effects on the Master Plan card are dealt with, the game moves to a Hero turn. During a Hero turn, the player will perform 4 steps: Draw a card, Play a Card, Resolve Actions, and Location Effects. To start, the player will draw a card from their Hero deck and add it to their hand. They then select a card from their hand to play, adding it to the end of the Storyline.
Looking at the symbols at the bottom of their played card, the Hero will now resolve their actions. Actions could be Movement (to an adjacent Location), Attack (Thugs/Henchmen or the Villain in their current Location), Heroic Actions (rescuing Civilians or working to clear the Threat on their current Location), or Wild (any of the previous actions). During this step, a cool twist comes into play – after all, the game is called Marvel United, right? When a Hero plays a card, they resolve the symbols on the bottom of their card AND the symbols on the bottom of the previously played Hero card! This simulates the various Heroes uniting their efforts to take down the Villain! So when selecting your card, be sure to check out the last card to see if you can create a sweet chain of actions for maximum benefit. The final step is to use Location effects, if applicable. Location effects are only available after the Threat to the Location has been cleared, and allows the player to perform special actions (draw extra cards, move to other Locations, etc.). If you end your turn on a Location that has been cleared, you may use its ability if you so choose.
In order to defeat the Villain, the Heroes must complete Missions. The 3 Missions in each game are to Rescue Civilians, Defeat Thugs, and Clear Threats. So with their actions on their turns, Heroes will be working to complete these Missions, moving them closer to victory. The turn sequence of the game is unique as well – the Villain will take a turn after every 3rd Hero turn, not opposite every single Hero. Keep that in mind as you decide which card to play when! The game essentially continues in this fashion (with a few extra effects) until either the Heroes win or they lose. Heroes win if they defeat the Villain! The Villain is defeated when at least 2 Missions are completed, and the Villain has been sufficiently damaged by Attacks. Heroes lose if the Villain completes their Villainous Plot, the deck of Master Plan cards has run out, or if any Hero starts their turn with no cards left to play. The Heroes either win together or lose together.
So I know that kind of sounds like a lot, but I promise that once you get playing, the game flows really well and is pretty intuitive. Marvel United can basically be broken down into 2 steps: Villain turn and Hero turn. All you are doing is playing cards and resolving actions to complete your goals. One of the coolest things about this gameplay is the fact that on your turn you resolve not only your played card, but also the previously played Hero card as well. It does a good job emulating the Heroes working together, and adds a strategic element to the overall gameplay. Maybe you wanted to play a certain card, but based on the last Hero card, you should play this one to benefit the group the most. Players really are all working together to defeat the Villain, instead of each playing their own Hero and going in for the fight one-on-one.
Another neat aspect of the game is the inclusion of the Missions. Heroes are not allowed to directly attack the Villain until at least 2 Missions have been completed. This ups the gameplay because it stops players from just going straight for the Villain from the start, not taking anything else into account. In ‘real life,’ Heroes are also concerned with saving Civilians and neutralizing threats, so the Mission requirement makes the gameplay feel more authentic. Well, as authentic as a superhero game can feel…. The variability of Locations and the random setup of Threats each game means that you likely won’t play the same game twice. Add in expansions too and you’ve got even more scenarios. With different Hero choices, you get to try out different combinations and find out which Heroes really work well together. The gameplay itself may be simple (draw cards, play cards, resolve cards) but the variety of Heroes, Villains, Locations, Threats, etc. keeps it engaging and entertaining.
As for components, I only have positive things to say. The Villain/Hero minis are chunky and cute, the artwork is all colorful and fun to look at, and the cardboard tokens are thick and crisp. All the symbolism in the game is clear, and the text is legible and easy to comprehend. One thing to consider is that this game can be a bit of a table hog if you let it. So just be prepared for a bit of a bigger footprint with this one. Overall, great production quality of the base game, and from what I’ve seen of the expansions, those are top notch as well.
Don’t let the cutesy artwork fool you – Marvel United isn’t an easy game by any means. It takes a decent amount of strategy to be successful, and it does really take a team effort. You stay engaged in the gameplay right up until the very end, and it’s more involved than you would think for being a lighter game. I am also a big fan of Marvel Legendary, and I have to say that this gives me those vibes, but in a more simplified and streamlined way. I’m not sure I would go as far as to call Marvel United “Marvel Legendary Jr.,” but it’s also not entirely a bad idea….. Overall though, I really liked Marvel United way more than I first anticipated. It’s light, yet strategic, and has some unique elements that keep you on your toes. I can’t wait to get my hands on some of the expansions to see how I can mix and match and create even more awesome scenarios! Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a heroic 16 / 18.
Disclaimer: This review encompasses only the base game of Marvel United. There are a number of expansions, but they will not be addressed in this review. -L
Marvel United is a cooperative game in which players take on the roles of various Marvel superheroes tasked with stopping the main Villain from completing their Villainous Plot. Follow the setup instructions detailed in the rulebook, selecting a Villain with whom to battle, 6 random Locations, and whichever Heroes you decide to use to fight the big bad. Place Threat cards, Civilians, and Thugs on the various Locations as indicated, and place the Villain and Heroes as described in the rules. Shuffle the Master Plan deck and respective Hero decks, and each player draws a hand of 3 cards. Choose a Hero as the ‘starting’ Hero, and the game is now ready to begin!
Over a series of turns, players will be resolving Villain effects and playing Hero cards to perform actions. The game always begins with a Villain turn, and the first step is to reveal a Master Plan card, adding it to the Storyline (table). Master Plan cards have different effects to be resolved – move the Villain to a new Location, BAM! effects (usually attacking Heroes or advancing their Villainous Plot towards victory), and adding Civilians/Thugs to surrounding Locations. Once all effects on the Master Plan card are dealt with, the game moves to a Hero turn. During a Hero turn, the player will perform 4 steps: Draw a card, Play a Card, Resolve Actions, and Location Effects. To start, the player will draw a card from their Hero deck and add it to their hand. They then select a card from their hand to play, adding it to the end of the Storyline.
Looking at the symbols at the bottom of their played card, the Hero will now resolve their actions. Actions could be Movement (to an adjacent Location), Attack (Thugs/Henchmen or the Villain in their current Location), Heroic Actions (rescuing Civilians or working to clear the Threat on their current Location), or Wild (any of the previous actions). During this step, a cool twist comes into play – after all, the game is called Marvel United, right? When a Hero plays a card, they resolve the symbols on the bottom of their card AND the symbols on the bottom of the previously played Hero card! This simulates the various Heroes uniting their efforts to take down the Villain! So when selecting your card, be sure to check out the last card to see if you can create a sweet chain of actions for maximum benefit. The final step is to use Location effects, if applicable. Location effects are only available after the Threat to the Location has been cleared, and allows the player to perform special actions (draw extra cards, move to other Locations, etc.). If you end your turn on a Location that has been cleared, you may use its ability if you so choose.
In order to defeat the Villain, the Heroes must complete Missions. The 3 Missions in each game are to Rescue Civilians, Defeat Thugs, and Clear Threats. So with their actions on their turns, Heroes will be working to complete these Missions, moving them closer to victory. The turn sequence of the game is unique as well – the Villain will take a turn after every 3rd Hero turn, not opposite every single Hero. Keep that in mind as you decide which card to play when! The game essentially continues in this fashion (with a few extra effects) until either the Heroes win or they lose. Heroes win if they defeat the Villain! The Villain is defeated when at least 2 Missions are completed, and the Villain has been sufficiently damaged by Attacks. Heroes lose if the Villain completes their Villainous Plot, the deck of Master Plan cards has run out, or if any Hero starts their turn with no cards left to play. The Heroes either win together or lose together.
So I know that kind of sounds like a lot, but I promise that once you get playing, the game flows really well and is pretty intuitive. Marvel United can basically be broken down into 2 steps: Villain turn and Hero turn. All you are doing is playing cards and resolving actions to complete your goals. One of the coolest things about this gameplay is the fact that on your turn you resolve not only your played card, but also the previously played Hero card as well. It does a good job emulating the Heroes working together, and adds a strategic element to the overall gameplay. Maybe you wanted to play a certain card, but based on the last Hero card, you should play this one to benefit the group the most. Players really are all working together to defeat the Villain, instead of each playing their own Hero and going in for the fight one-on-one.
Another neat aspect of the game is the inclusion of the Missions. Heroes are not allowed to directly attack the Villain until at least 2 Missions have been completed. This ups the gameplay because it stops players from just going straight for the Villain from the start, not taking anything else into account. In ‘real life,’ Heroes are also concerned with saving Civilians and neutralizing threats, so the Mission requirement makes the gameplay feel more authentic. Well, as authentic as a superhero game can feel…. The variability of Locations and the random setup of Threats each game means that you likely won’t play the same game twice. Add in expansions too and you’ve got even more scenarios. With different Hero choices, you get to try out different combinations and find out which Heroes really work well together. The gameplay itself may be simple (draw cards, play cards, resolve cards) but the variety of Heroes, Villains, Locations, Threats, etc. keeps it engaging and entertaining.
As for components, I only have positive things to say. The Villain/Hero minis are chunky and cute, the artwork is all colorful and fun to look at, and the cardboard tokens are thick and crisp. All the symbolism in the game is clear, and the text is legible and easy to comprehend. One thing to consider is that this game can be a bit of a table hog if you let it. So just be prepared for a bit of a bigger footprint with this one. Overall, great production quality of the base game, and from what I’ve seen of the expansions, those are top notch as well.
Don’t let the cutesy artwork fool you – Marvel United isn’t an easy game by any means. It takes a decent amount of strategy to be successful, and it does really take a team effort. You stay engaged in the gameplay right up until the very end, and it’s more involved than you would think for being a lighter game. I am also a big fan of Marvel Legendary, and I have to say that this gives me those vibes, but in a more simplified and streamlined way. I’m not sure I would go as far as to call Marvel United “Marvel Legendary Jr.,” but it’s also not entirely a bad idea….. Overall though, I really liked Marvel United way more than I first anticipated. It’s light, yet strategic, and has some unique elements that keep you on your toes. I can’t wait to get my hands on some of the expansions to see how I can mix and match and create even more awesome scenarios! Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a heroic 16 / 18.

Dana (24 KP) rated Empire of Storms in Books
Mar 23, 2018
This review will have a lot of spoilers for the books, so if you haven't read it, I suggest you turn away now. This is going to be a long review!
Let's start off with a character analysis section:
The Little Folk: I loved how they gave Aelin little gifts. I want more interaction with them in the next book!!
Elide Lochan: Elide doesn't see her own strength. She has been through hell, but still knows kindness and love. She has so much hope and is loyal to a fault. She loves Lorcan, but is constantly stopped by this idiocy. She has three freaking guardian angels: Aelin, Manon, and Aedion. She is a half-witch, which is cool! She was able to withstand the torment of the wyrdkey with little side effects! She is protected by the God of Death's consort which is cool because the God of Death is Lorcan's protector. She learns from and is strengthened by her crappy past. She can STILL LOVE AFTER EVERYTHING! Also, she is such a tricky schemer and a great liar!
Lorcan Salvaterre: He is a dummy and is too fixated on Maeve to see that he can have real love with Elide. He is death-protected by Hellas-and is a great hunter. He has a heart of gold underneath all that grime. He freaking makes Elide a brace for her ankle for goodness sake! Lorcan is vengeful as f, especially when Elide is threatened. I feel like he's going to be a big help to Aelin's course!
Aedion Ashryver: He's Bisexual!!! He is so in Love with Lysandra and is a flirtatious bastard. He doubts Aelin too much and questions her all the time. I get it, but it gets disheartening. He has a bad ass shot (that sea wyvern shot though!!) and is obviously a skilled warrior. He has an interestingly complicated relationship with his father. I love the the White Wolf of the North! I love his tattoo: the knot made of the courts' names!
Lysandra: Oh my goodness, she is so freaking strong! I love her powers! She is so protective of her girls, especially Evangeline. Her Snow Leopard and Sea Dragon forms are my favorite! She can and will conquer as many men as need be (mainly in killing, not sex). She loves Aedion and is so loyal to Aelin that she would literally become her.
Evangeline: She is the innocence of the group. When she goes, the group is harder and lacks the absolute faith that everything will be alright.
Fleetfoot: I love her, that is all.
Dorian Havillard: A king without a kingdom. He is a boy with powers he has no idea how to control. A boy whose friends left him. He has to learn his powers alone like he has all his life. He is trusting but questions things-he knows when he should hold back. He loves Manon and oh my sweet goodness, that cabinet scene. He is great at riddles too!
Mannon Blackbeak: OUR QUEEN!!!! She protects her own and can let go of prejudices when she needs to do the best for her people. She is so savage! She is a great leader willing to die for her thirteen. I can't wait until she kills her grandmother. SHE WILL BRING PEACE FOR HER PEOPLE!!!!! She obviously has feelings for Dorian.
Abraxos: He is the best damned wyvern ever. Even though Manon tells him to "go hide," he finds a freaking army and saves the day!
Gavriel: He's not the best dad, but he's working on it! He is too loyal to Maeve, but he cares about people. He is a lot more emotional than I would have guessed. Lol, Uncle Kitty-Cat.
Fenrys: He is such a sarcastic little ass, but a great warrior (both in the battlefield and in bed ;D). He kinda reminds me of Cassian. His situation sucks with Maeve because both he and his brother are basically prisoners and sex objects for the queen. I hope he will find a way to break the blood bond for him and his brother to help Aelin. Also, WINNOWING!!!
Queen Maeve: She is a witch with a capital B and I hate her.
Erawan: Power hungry as hell.
Elena: She is so dumb. I get it, she made a mistake, but she was still dumb. She acts before thinking and doesn't understand sacrifice or strategy. She pushed a war onto a group of children for goodness sake!
Rowan Whitethorn: He has come such a long way since Heir of Fire. He is so emotional and a freaking worry wart, loyal and trusting as hell, but he is still bad ass. He lets his woman fight when she needs to. He embraces the past mistakes of his friends and family. He is a horny little hawk. HE IS AELIN'S MATE AND HUSBAND!!! And he is the KING OF TERRASAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Strategic as hell-the thing with the Whitethorn cousins-hell yes! When he gets his hands on Maeve, shit will go down! VENGEANCE WILL BE HIS and Maeve will die horribly!! His reaction when he found out Aelin was captured was gut wrenching! Also, I loved it when he called Aelin Milady. Freaking great!
Aelin Ashryver Galanthys: She is always 500 steps ahead of everyone else. She shuts everyone down with her witty comebacks. She lets Aedion think the worst of her because she doesn't want to get their hopes up. She is not too trusting but is willing to sacrifice herself for everyone else. "But your faces are so wonderful when I get to reveal them." WOW AELIN!! When Deanna took over Aelins super power moment-I was terrified. I hate that she has to sacrifice herself. I just want her to be happy!! I loved how she pulled all of the characters from The Assassin's Blade into this! She's bloody brilliant! Using all of those Life Debts!! Her reaction to Elide is heartbreaking. Killing all of the Valg was great! When she slipped into the Celeana person, I go so freaking excited!! She was so close to settling and Maeve had to freaking ruined it all! She could have lived forever and been so happy!
Now onto some plot analysis:
So this book had a pretty awesome start since we got a flashback to the first war with Elena and Erawan. I love the little history throughout the book! The flashbacks with Elena and Nehemia were so freaking sad. I cried when they talked about Nehemia and Aelin's respective sacrifices. I feel like we get to go deeper into the history even though this is the second to last book!
Nicknames in all of Sarah J Maas' books are so cute! I love how Aelin and Rowan call each other Fireheart and Buzzard.
Family (especially chosen and made family) is so important in all of Sarah J Maas' books. Characters are willing to die to protect those they love and I think that's something important to put into books. The fact that you can always find a home in your people is very nice to see.
Women are the ones to be truly feared in this series because they have the most power. They are all so badass and never take shit from the male characters!
The multiple PoVs were very well done. As you may have realized from my other reviews, I am not a fan on multiple PoV novels much, so the fact I loved this one is great!
I think it was really cool how each character is being guided by at least one God. I have a crackpot theory about this that connects this series to the ACOTAR series. So it is stated multiple times that the Gods want to "go home" because they are trapped, right? So what if they are our Night Court Crew? Some of the descriptions of the powers fit!
I loved how SJM described the process of the magic weilding.
There was a great plot structure and pacing.
The Mycenians are so interesting! I called it that Rolfe was a Mycenian before I got to that part!
I want to know what Rowan said to Rolfe back at Skull's Bay.
All the ships got to have fun time together. Well, except for Elide and Lorcan.
I wish we could have had Choal and Nesryn in this book, but I understand why we didn't.
One thing I didn't like was how similar some of the plot points and characters were to ACOTAR and ACOMAF. Even thought they're both by SJM, I wish there wasnt' as much overlap.
Overall, I loved this book--a few thinggs could have been changed to keep it more significantly different from ACOTAR but it was still great.
Some Quotes I loved:
"Because destroying a symbol can break the spirits of men as much as bloodshed." (44)
"To call in old debts and promises. To raise an army of assassins and thieves and exiles and commoners. To finish what was started long, long ago." (72)
"One does not deal with Celeana Sardothian. One survives her." (241)
"Even when this world is a forgotten whisper if dust between the stars, I will love you." (350)
Let's start off with a character analysis section:
The Little Folk: I loved how they gave Aelin little gifts. I want more interaction with them in the next book!!
Elide Lochan: Elide doesn't see her own strength. She has been through hell, but still knows kindness and love. She has so much hope and is loyal to a fault. She loves Lorcan, but is constantly stopped by this idiocy. She has three freaking guardian angels: Aelin, Manon, and Aedion. She is a half-witch, which is cool! She was able to withstand the torment of the wyrdkey with little side effects! She is protected by the God of Death's consort which is cool because the God of Death is Lorcan's protector. She learns from and is strengthened by her crappy past. She can STILL LOVE AFTER EVERYTHING! Also, she is such a tricky schemer and a great liar!
Lorcan Salvaterre: He is a dummy and is too fixated on Maeve to see that he can have real love with Elide. He is death-protected by Hellas-and is a great hunter. He has a heart of gold underneath all that grime. He freaking makes Elide a brace for her ankle for goodness sake! Lorcan is vengeful as f, especially when Elide is threatened. I feel like he's going to be a big help to Aelin's course!
Aedion Ashryver: He's Bisexual!!! He is so in Love with Lysandra and is a flirtatious bastard. He doubts Aelin too much and questions her all the time. I get it, but it gets disheartening. He has a bad ass shot (that sea wyvern shot though!!) and is obviously a skilled warrior. He has an interestingly complicated relationship with his father. I love the the White Wolf of the North! I love his tattoo: the knot made of the courts' names!
Lysandra: Oh my goodness, she is so freaking strong! I love her powers! She is so protective of her girls, especially Evangeline. Her Snow Leopard and Sea Dragon forms are my favorite! She can and will conquer as many men as need be (mainly in killing, not sex). She loves Aedion and is so loyal to Aelin that she would literally become her.
Evangeline: She is the innocence of the group. When she goes, the group is harder and lacks the absolute faith that everything will be alright.
Fleetfoot: I love her, that is all.
Dorian Havillard: A king without a kingdom. He is a boy with powers he has no idea how to control. A boy whose friends left him. He has to learn his powers alone like he has all his life. He is trusting but questions things-he knows when he should hold back. He loves Manon and oh my sweet goodness, that cabinet scene. He is great at riddles too!
Mannon Blackbeak: OUR QUEEN!!!! She protects her own and can let go of prejudices when she needs to do the best for her people. She is so savage! She is a great leader willing to die for her thirteen. I can't wait until she kills her grandmother. SHE WILL BRING PEACE FOR HER PEOPLE!!!!! She obviously has feelings for Dorian.
Abraxos: He is the best damned wyvern ever. Even though Manon tells him to "go hide," he finds a freaking army and saves the day!
Gavriel: He's not the best dad, but he's working on it! He is too loyal to Maeve, but he cares about people. He is a lot more emotional than I would have guessed. Lol, Uncle Kitty-Cat.
Fenrys: He is such a sarcastic little ass, but a great warrior (both in the battlefield and in bed ;D). He kinda reminds me of Cassian. His situation sucks with Maeve because both he and his brother are basically prisoners and sex objects for the queen. I hope he will find a way to break the blood bond for him and his brother to help Aelin. Also, WINNOWING!!!
Queen Maeve: She is a witch with a capital B and I hate her.
Erawan: Power hungry as hell.
Elena: She is so dumb. I get it, she made a mistake, but she was still dumb. She acts before thinking and doesn't understand sacrifice or strategy. She pushed a war onto a group of children for goodness sake!
Rowan Whitethorn: He has come such a long way since Heir of Fire. He is so emotional and a freaking worry wart, loyal and trusting as hell, but he is still bad ass. He lets his woman fight when she needs to. He embraces the past mistakes of his friends and family. He is a horny little hawk. HE IS AELIN'S MATE AND HUSBAND!!! And he is the KING OF TERRASAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Strategic as hell-the thing with the Whitethorn cousins-hell yes! When he gets his hands on Maeve, shit will go down! VENGEANCE WILL BE HIS and Maeve will die horribly!! His reaction when he found out Aelin was captured was gut wrenching! Also, I loved it when he called Aelin Milady. Freaking great!
Aelin Ashryver Galanthys: She is always 500 steps ahead of everyone else. She shuts everyone down with her witty comebacks. She lets Aedion think the worst of her because she doesn't want to get their hopes up. She is not too trusting but is willing to sacrifice herself for everyone else. "But your faces are so wonderful when I get to reveal them." WOW AELIN!! When Deanna took over Aelins super power moment-I was terrified. I hate that she has to sacrifice herself. I just want her to be happy!! I loved how she pulled all of the characters from The Assassin's Blade into this! She's bloody brilliant! Using all of those Life Debts!! Her reaction to Elide is heartbreaking. Killing all of the Valg was great! When she slipped into the Celeana person, I go so freaking excited!! She was so close to settling and Maeve had to freaking ruined it all! She could have lived forever and been so happy!
Now onto some plot analysis:
So this book had a pretty awesome start since we got a flashback to the first war with Elena and Erawan. I love the little history throughout the book! The flashbacks with Elena and Nehemia were so freaking sad. I cried when they talked about Nehemia and Aelin's respective sacrifices. I feel like we get to go deeper into the history even though this is the second to last book!
Nicknames in all of Sarah J Maas' books are so cute! I love how Aelin and Rowan call each other Fireheart and Buzzard.
Family (especially chosen and made family) is so important in all of Sarah J Maas' books. Characters are willing to die to protect those they love and I think that's something important to put into books. The fact that you can always find a home in your people is very nice to see.
Women are the ones to be truly feared in this series because they have the most power. They are all so badass and never take shit from the male characters!
The multiple PoVs were very well done. As you may have realized from my other reviews, I am not a fan on multiple PoV novels much, so the fact I loved this one is great!
I think it was really cool how each character is being guided by at least one God. I have a crackpot theory about this that connects this series to the ACOTAR series. So it is stated multiple times that the Gods want to "go home" because they are trapped, right? So what if they are our Night Court Crew? Some of the descriptions of the powers fit!
I loved how SJM described the process of the magic weilding.
There was a great plot structure and pacing.
The Mycenians are so interesting! I called it that Rolfe was a Mycenian before I got to that part!
I want to know what Rowan said to Rolfe back at Skull's Bay.
All the ships got to have fun time together. Well, except for Elide and Lorcan.
I wish we could have had Choal and Nesryn in this book, but I understand why we didn't.
One thing I didn't like was how similar some of the plot points and characters were to ACOTAR and ACOMAF. Even thought they're both by SJM, I wish there wasnt' as much overlap.
Overall, I loved this book--a few thinggs could have been changed to keep it more significantly different from ACOTAR but it was still great.
Some Quotes I loved:
"Because destroying a symbol can break the spirits of men as much as bloodshed." (44)
"To call in old debts and promises. To raise an army of assassins and thieves and exiles and commoners. To finish what was started long, long ago." (72)
"One does not deal with Celeana Sardothian. One survives her." (241)
"Even when this world is a forgotten whisper if dust between the stars, I will love you." (350)

Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated The Artemis Project in Tabletop Games
Apr 6, 2021
I don’t know about you, but I spend more time than I should probably admit perusing Kickstarter and checking out new projects. Although, that is how I came across The Artemis Project. A game about exploration and colonization of one of Jupiter’s moons? Yes please! The campaign looked promising, the gameplay looked engaging, and the hype was real. Once I finally got the game, did it live up to my expectations? Keep reading to find out!
The Artemis Project is a game of dice/worker placement in which players are trying to build and sustain a prosperous colony on Jupiter’s moon Europa. Played over 6 rounds, players will take turns rolling and placing dice across the regions of the board to collect resources, construct buildings, recruit and train colonists, and partake in expeditions to explore this vast ice-land. To begin, follow the setup instructions in the rulebook for the appropriate player count. Each player receives a player board, dice, and markers in their chosen color. Populate the board for the first round, select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, as there are just too many details. For a more in-depth look at The Artemis Project, pick up a copy from your FLGS or directly from the publisher! -L
To start each round, all players will simultaneously roll all 5 of their dice. Once players are happy with their results, the round is ready to properly begin. Each round is broken into three phases: Placement, Resolution, and Upkeep. To begin the Placement phase, starting with the first player, players will take turns assigning one die at a time to the 7 regions of the board. These regions are: Basecamp, Vents, Quarry, Gantry, Doorstep, Academy, and Outfitters. (I will explain each region in more detail in the next section!) The value of the dice placed in any region is important, because it will dictate what you are allowed to do, or when you are allowed to resolve the action for that region – so choose your placements wisely.
Once every player has placed all 5 of their dice, the Resolution phase begins. During the Resolution phase, each of the regions of the board will be resolved in order, allowing players to perform their region-specific actions. Resolution starts with Basecamp. Placing dice at Basecamp allows players to partake in Expeditions in an effort to earn Expedition Badges (which translate to end-game VP), as well as extra rewards. Each Expedition has a difficulty level which must be equaled or surpassed by the total of all dice placed on that card. If the difficulty is surpassed, the Expedition is a success and rewards are doled out accordingly, but if the Expedition fails, no rewards are earned by anyone.
The next 2 regions, Vents and Quarry, allow players to collect Energy and Minerals, respectively, and are resolved in the same way. Players will collect a number of resources equal to their played die value. Pretty straight-forward! Moving on to the Gantry region, the value of dice placed on any building tiles are considered bids for buying/constructing that building. You can bid against opponents for building tiles, but each bid must increase the previous amount. When resolving the Gantry, the highest value die on a tile is the winner, and that player must pay their die-amount in Minerals to collect that tile. Buildings are added to your colony, and allow you to perform special actions once they are fully-staffed (all colonist slots on the tile are filled).
Next is the Doorstep – depending on the value of dice you placed there, you will be able to recruit 1-3 new colonists. Recruiting a colonist costs you 2 Energy per new addition, and any new colonists you recruit can be placed immediately into any of your buildings (if space is available), or into your Shelter where they will wait to be used. The Academy region allows you to exchange a colonist of your choice for one of a different type/occupation, again, depending on the value of the die used. And finally, the Outfitters region does not resolved during this phase, because it’s action is performed immediately upon dice placement. Any dice placed to the Outfitters gives Tool Kits (used to manipulate die values at the start of each round) to the player, based upon the die value.
The remaining element of the Resolution phase is the Even card. At the start of each round, an Event card is drawn, and will pertain to a certain region of the board. During the Resolution phase, when that region is reached, the Event card will be resolved – either penalizing players or benefitting them in some way. I have purposefully left out a few elements of the Resolution phase for you to discover on your own!
Once all regions have been resolved, the round moves to the Upkeep phase. During this phase, all players can choose to move 1 colonist to a building tile, or swap any 2 colonists between buildings. This is not required, but can only be performed once during this phase. Next, if any players have fully-staffed buildings (all colonist slots are filled), they may activate the listed ability. And finally, for any colonists left in your shelter and not in a building, you must pay 1 Energy for each to keep them warm! The game board is now refreshed for the next round, a new starting player is selected, and the new round is ready to begin. After the 6th and final round, VPs are tallied – earned through number of building tiles, Expedition Badges, sets of resources, and sets of colonists – and the player with the most VP is the winner!
I know that seems like a lot, but I promise that once you start the first round, everything is pretty intuitive and the game flows well. The turn sequence and phases are logical and easy to understand. The game board itself has lots of helpful icons that work as reminders throughout gameplay, and the rulebook has a nice and concise round overview on the last page as well, which is easy to refer back to at a moment’s notice. I’ll go ahead and touch on components here, since I kind of already started to do so. The components in this game are great! The game board and cards are all sturdy and have colorful and immersive artwork. The dual-layered player boards are high quality, the colonist meeples are cute and effective, the building tiles and cardboard chits are strong and can definitely hold up to many plays, and the dice are easy to roll and read. Definitely an A+ on components from me.
I have to admit that The Artemis Project surprised me. At its core, it is a worker placement game, and that in and of itself lends itself to a certain gameplay. You’re trying to complete your own agenda, being the first to snag those important placements that you need to accomplish those goals, while also blocking opponents from doing the same. The thing that makes The Artemis Project unique is that the ‘workers’ in this game are dice. And their value is what dictates the resolution of each region. Just because you place a die in a region first, does not necessarily mean that you will get to resolve first – depending on how your opponents play, they could block you entirely! The use of dice adds an extra layer of strategy to the gameplay that really elevates it beyond a simple worker placement mechanic. Another great thing about this game is that there is no one way to win – there are several strategies that you could play by in an effort to earn VPs. Maybe you are trying to complete as many Expeditions as possible, or want to construct as many buildings as possible. Either strategy can work, and all strategies can easily be adapted and altered during gameplay.
I am so happy that I came across this game on Kickstarter. The game is strategic, engaging, and just fun to play. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of worker placement games, but the approach to the mechanic taken by The Artemis Project really puts a unique twist on it that adds to the gameplay. This is one KickStarter that was definitely worth the investment. Check it out if you haven’t heard of it, or if you’re looking to elevate your worker placement games. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an enterprising 10 / 12.
The Artemis Project is a game of dice/worker placement in which players are trying to build and sustain a prosperous colony on Jupiter’s moon Europa. Played over 6 rounds, players will take turns rolling and placing dice across the regions of the board to collect resources, construct buildings, recruit and train colonists, and partake in expeditions to explore this vast ice-land. To begin, follow the setup instructions in the rulebook for the appropriate player count. Each player receives a player board, dice, and markers in their chosen color. Populate the board for the first round, select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, as there are just too many details. For a more in-depth look at The Artemis Project, pick up a copy from your FLGS or directly from the publisher! -L
To start each round, all players will simultaneously roll all 5 of their dice. Once players are happy with their results, the round is ready to properly begin. Each round is broken into three phases: Placement, Resolution, and Upkeep. To begin the Placement phase, starting with the first player, players will take turns assigning one die at a time to the 7 regions of the board. These regions are: Basecamp, Vents, Quarry, Gantry, Doorstep, Academy, and Outfitters. (I will explain each region in more detail in the next section!) The value of the dice placed in any region is important, because it will dictate what you are allowed to do, or when you are allowed to resolve the action for that region – so choose your placements wisely.
Once every player has placed all 5 of their dice, the Resolution phase begins. During the Resolution phase, each of the regions of the board will be resolved in order, allowing players to perform their region-specific actions. Resolution starts with Basecamp. Placing dice at Basecamp allows players to partake in Expeditions in an effort to earn Expedition Badges (which translate to end-game VP), as well as extra rewards. Each Expedition has a difficulty level which must be equaled or surpassed by the total of all dice placed on that card. If the difficulty is surpassed, the Expedition is a success and rewards are doled out accordingly, but if the Expedition fails, no rewards are earned by anyone.
The next 2 regions, Vents and Quarry, allow players to collect Energy and Minerals, respectively, and are resolved in the same way. Players will collect a number of resources equal to their played die value. Pretty straight-forward! Moving on to the Gantry region, the value of dice placed on any building tiles are considered bids for buying/constructing that building. You can bid against opponents for building tiles, but each bid must increase the previous amount. When resolving the Gantry, the highest value die on a tile is the winner, and that player must pay their die-amount in Minerals to collect that tile. Buildings are added to your colony, and allow you to perform special actions once they are fully-staffed (all colonist slots on the tile are filled).
Next is the Doorstep – depending on the value of dice you placed there, you will be able to recruit 1-3 new colonists. Recruiting a colonist costs you 2 Energy per new addition, and any new colonists you recruit can be placed immediately into any of your buildings (if space is available), or into your Shelter where they will wait to be used. The Academy region allows you to exchange a colonist of your choice for one of a different type/occupation, again, depending on the value of the die used. And finally, the Outfitters region does not resolved during this phase, because it’s action is performed immediately upon dice placement. Any dice placed to the Outfitters gives Tool Kits (used to manipulate die values at the start of each round) to the player, based upon the die value.
The remaining element of the Resolution phase is the Even card. At the start of each round, an Event card is drawn, and will pertain to a certain region of the board. During the Resolution phase, when that region is reached, the Event card will be resolved – either penalizing players or benefitting them in some way. I have purposefully left out a few elements of the Resolution phase for you to discover on your own!
Once all regions have been resolved, the round moves to the Upkeep phase. During this phase, all players can choose to move 1 colonist to a building tile, or swap any 2 colonists between buildings. This is not required, but can only be performed once during this phase. Next, if any players have fully-staffed buildings (all colonist slots are filled), they may activate the listed ability. And finally, for any colonists left in your shelter and not in a building, you must pay 1 Energy for each to keep them warm! The game board is now refreshed for the next round, a new starting player is selected, and the new round is ready to begin. After the 6th and final round, VPs are tallied – earned through number of building tiles, Expedition Badges, sets of resources, and sets of colonists – and the player with the most VP is the winner!
I know that seems like a lot, but I promise that once you start the first round, everything is pretty intuitive and the game flows well. The turn sequence and phases are logical and easy to understand. The game board itself has lots of helpful icons that work as reminders throughout gameplay, and the rulebook has a nice and concise round overview on the last page as well, which is easy to refer back to at a moment’s notice. I’ll go ahead and touch on components here, since I kind of already started to do so. The components in this game are great! The game board and cards are all sturdy and have colorful and immersive artwork. The dual-layered player boards are high quality, the colonist meeples are cute and effective, the building tiles and cardboard chits are strong and can definitely hold up to many plays, and the dice are easy to roll and read. Definitely an A+ on components from me.
I have to admit that The Artemis Project surprised me. At its core, it is a worker placement game, and that in and of itself lends itself to a certain gameplay. You’re trying to complete your own agenda, being the first to snag those important placements that you need to accomplish those goals, while also blocking opponents from doing the same. The thing that makes The Artemis Project unique is that the ‘workers’ in this game are dice. And their value is what dictates the resolution of each region. Just because you place a die in a region first, does not necessarily mean that you will get to resolve first – depending on how your opponents play, they could block you entirely! The use of dice adds an extra layer of strategy to the gameplay that really elevates it beyond a simple worker placement mechanic. Another great thing about this game is that there is no one way to win – there are several strategies that you could play by in an effort to earn VPs. Maybe you are trying to complete as many Expeditions as possible, or want to construct as many buildings as possible. Either strategy can work, and all strategies can easily be adapted and altered during gameplay.
I am so happy that I came across this game on Kickstarter. The game is strategic, engaging, and just fun to play. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of worker placement games, but the approach to the mechanic taken by The Artemis Project really puts a unique twist on it that adds to the gameplay. This is one KickStarter that was definitely worth the investment. Check it out if you haven’t heard of it, or if you’re looking to elevate your worker placement games. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an enterprising 10 / 12.

Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Macaron in Tabletop Games
Oct 20, 2020
The only game I have ever been able to play with my extended family on a regular basis, and provided us an excuse to get together every Sunday, is Euchre. My family loves Euchre. It took me a long time to finally learn it, and I did so on a tour bus traveling from Paris to Barcelona. I played so much Euchre on that tour. I still play Euchre somewhat regularly with my wife and in-laws. What does this all have to do with a delicious-looking game about difficult to nail baked goods? Well, I described Macaron to my wife as, “A more intense Euchre with a baking theme, where the bowers may actually kill someone.”
Macaron is a baked goods-themed trick-taking card game for one to five players. In it players are bakers in medieval France trying to become the favored royal baker to the king and his family. The player who can earn the most VP by delivering the tastiest macarons to the royal family will be victorious and will then bake the other players a box of macarons to take home (I added that last part, but Ta-Te Wu should consider adding it to the rules).
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I know for sure the final components will be slightly different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
For this preview I am tackling the solo rule-set provided and my AI opponent is named Emma (per the rules). Multiplayer games will be played somewhat similarly, but against normal-intelligenced real people. Duh.
To setup a solo game, place the Score board in the middle of the table on whichever side is decided – one side allows up to 20 points, and the other up to 30. Place the first three Group boards (A with Almond and Pistachio, B with Strawberry and Blueberry, and C with just one Green Tea macaron upon it) somewhere near the Score board to denote the flavors being played. Remove all cards from the deck picturing Earl Grey and Chocolate flavored macarons. Shuffle the remaining macaron cards and deal the solo player 13 of them. Deal Emma one random card from the deck under each flavor on the Group board as shown below. These random cards will take on the flavor of whichever stack to which it now belongs. Continue dealing Emma eight cards to her stacks, but match them to their flavors – the 4 of Pistachio under Pistachio, etc. Emma should now have 13 cards in total, but each flavor stack should be shuffled and arranged as shown below. Choose a color for the player and for Emma, place one of each meeple on the Score board to track final scores, and the other meeples on the Gift Box tracker in the middle. Analyze each of Emma’s stacks to determine which Group contains the most cards. These flavors will be given the Royal token (I used the purple star) and are considered the trump suits this round. Flip over the top card of the deck that remains, and place the Allergen token (I used the tall goldenrod piece) upon the matching flavor. The game may now begin!
The solo player is always the starting player, so they will open the first trick by playing a card from hand. As in most card games, whichever flavor (suit) is led will need to be followed by Emma, if possible. The rulebook gives the player a nice turn-flow summary for Emma based on which player leads and which type of card is played.
As in Euchre, suit must be followed. If a player is unable to follow, they may play a Royal (trump) card to win the trick or any other non-Royal card. The Royal flavors are both flavors that belong to the same Group, or Green Tea, as it is its own Group. For each trick won, the player will advance their meeple on the Gift Box track to denote number of tricks won. Some card rules adjust the scoring. For example, should a value 1 card win the trick the winning player will increase their number of Gift Boxes three spaces instead of one. Should a trick include an Allergen flavor the winning player will still lead the next trick but will not advance their Gift Box meeple, as Allergens make the royal family sick. However, should a trick contain a value 2 card in it, the 2 cancels the Allergen and the winner may advance their Gift Box meeple as normal.
The round ends when a player, or Emma, has finished their hand of 13 cards played or reaches eight or more Gift Boxes (won tricks). Setup for a new round as the game was initially setup with dealing cards to each player and determining Royal and Allergen flavors. Play continues in this fashion until the player or Emma has reached the pre-determined score of 10, 20, or 30. The winner must now get to baking (again, I added that, but it REALLLLLY needs to happen, I think)!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game (though still pretty good) and the final components will certainly be different than the ones shown here. That said, the art style is simply wonderful and incredibly enjoyable. Yes, the Score board is a little busy, but it’s functional and fun. The art on the cards is very good, colorblind-friendly with icons in addition to colors, and the art doesn’t get in the way of playing tricks at all. All the other components used in the game will probably be different upon a successful Kickstarter campaign, and though I haven’t seen the proposed components, I am sure they will match the theme and be great to handle.
So as a lover of Euchre, am I also a lover of Macaron? ABSOLUTELY! It takes everything I enjoy about Euchre and somehow simplifies AND complexifies it. Teaching Euchre to new players can be a chore when they don’t latch onto the fact that the highest cards in the game are the Jacks of the same color of trump, but one is higher than the other. It can be awkward at first. Here, there are one or two flavors that are trump suits. It makes sense to be able to visualize a bit easier, and to be able to relate to flavors. In fact, my 4-year-old son wanted to “play” it earlier this morning, so I took out the Allergen mechanic and just did straight suit-following with trumps and he understood it. So, I guess by house-ruling a little you can also play this with children who are learning games for the first time, learning their numbers, or learning trick-taking games. That’s a fun hidden side quest!
Now, I can see how people will totally dig Macaron as a multiplayer game, but I am previewing this as a solo game. Is it just as good? Yep! I like being able to play the game whenever I want, and using another mechanic I didn’t describe earlier – Betting. Having to bet upon how many Gift Boxes you will score for the round adds another layer of analyzation I particularly enjoy. If you guess correctly you score an additional two Gift Boxes. If you’re wrong Emma scores two Boxes. Couple this with Emma’s unpredictable card play and you have an interesting AI player that you may never be able to “figure out” and beat methodically. I like that randomness from Emma. She has made a few games close, but ultimately has lost every game against me.
Macaron is a cute little Euchre-style card game that can be played well solo and multiplayer, and features wonderful style. I love the theme, and I seem to be attracted to food games; I love Bohnanza, Morels, Happy Salmon (my favorite fish to eat), Sushi Go!, Coconuts, and The Three Little Pigs (ok that one was mean, but hey, I love pork)! If you also enjoy food-related games, or trick-taking games, or just fun little card games you can play solo or with other people, please consider backing Macaron via their Kickstarter campaign launching soon. Tell them Purple Phoenix Games sent you and I will share my Gift Box of Macarons with you**. You will have to let me know your food allergies prior, though.
** I don’t actually have a Gift Box of Macarons. That was a lie, and I apologize for that.
Macaron is a baked goods-themed trick-taking card game for one to five players. In it players are bakers in medieval France trying to become the favored royal baker to the king and his family. The player who can earn the most VP by delivering the tastiest macarons to the royal family will be victorious and will then bake the other players a box of macarons to take home (I added that last part, but Ta-Te Wu should consider adding it to the rules).
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I know for sure the final components will be slightly different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
For this preview I am tackling the solo rule-set provided and my AI opponent is named Emma (per the rules). Multiplayer games will be played somewhat similarly, but against normal-intelligenced real people. Duh.
To setup a solo game, place the Score board in the middle of the table on whichever side is decided – one side allows up to 20 points, and the other up to 30. Place the first three Group boards (A with Almond and Pistachio, B with Strawberry and Blueberry, and C with just one Green Tea macaron upon it) somewhere near the Score board to denote the flavors being played. Remove all cards from the deck picturing Earl Grey and Chocolate flavored macarons. Shuffle the remaining macaron cards and deal the solo player 13 of them. Deal Emma one random card from the deck under each flavor on the Group board as shown below. These random cards will take on the flavor of whichever stack to which it now belongs. Continue dealing Emma eight cards to her stacks, but match them to their flavors – the 4 of Pistachio under Pistachio, etc. Emma should now have 13 cards in total, but each flavor stack should be shuffled and arranged as shown below. Choose a color for the player and for Emma, place one of each meeple on the Score board to track final scores, and the other meeples on the Gift Box tracker in the middle. Analyze each of Emma’s stacks to determine which Group contains the most cards. These flavors will be given the Royal token (I used the purple star) and are considered the trump suits this round. Flip over the top card of the deck that remains, and place the Allergen token (I used the tall goldenrod piece) upon the matching flavor. The game may now begin!
The solo player is always the starting player, so they will open the first trick by playing a card from hand. As in most card games, whichever flavor (suit) is led will need to be followed by Emma, if possible. The rulebook gives the player a nice turn-flow summary for Emma based on which player leads and which type of card is played.
As in Euchre, suit must be followed. If a player is unable to follow, they may play a Royal (trump) card to win the trick or any other non-Royal card. The Royal flavors are both flavors that belong to the same Group, or Green Tea, as it is its own Group. For each trick won, the player will advance their meeple on the Gift Box track to denote number of tricks won. Some card rules adjust the scoring. For example, should a value 1 card win the trick the winning player will increase their number of Gift Boxes three spaces instead of one. Should a trick include an Allergen flavor the winning player will still lead the next trick but will not advance their Gift Box meeple, as Allergens make the royal family sick. However, should a trick contain a value 2 card in it, the 2 cancels the Allergen and the winner may advance their Gift Box meeple as normal.
The round ends when a player, or Emma, has finished their hand of 13 cards played or reaches eight or more Gift Boxes (won tricks). Setup for a new round as the game was initially setup with dealing cards to each player and determining Royal and Allergen flavors. Play continues in this fashion until the player or Emma has reached the pre-determined score of 10, 20, or 30. The winner must now get to baking (again, I added that, but it REALLLLLY needs to happen, I think)!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game (though still pretty good) and the final components will certainly be different than the ones shown here. That said, the art style is simply wonderful and incredibly enjoyable. Yes, the Score board is a little busy, but it’s functional and fun. The art on the cards is very good, colorblind-friendly with icons in addition to colors, and the art doesn’t get in the way of playing tricks at all. All the other components used in the game will probably be different upon a successful Kickstarter campaign, and though I haven’t seen the proposed components, I am sure they will match the theme and be great to handle.
So as a lover of Euchre, am I also a lover of Macaron? ABSOLUTELY! It takes everything I enjoy about Euchre and somehow simplifies AND complexifies it. Teaching Euchre to new players can be a chore when they don’t latch onto the fact that the highest cards in the game are the Jacks of the same color of trump, but one is higher than the other. It can be awkward at first. Here, there are one or two flavors that are trump suits. It makes sense to be able to visualize a bit easier, and to be able to relate to flavors. In fact, my 4-year-old son wanted to “play” it earlier this morning, so I took out the Allergen mechanic and just did straight suit-following with trumps and he understood it. So, I guess by house-ruling a little you can also play this with children who are learning games for the first time, learning their numbers, or learning trick-taking games. That’s a fun hidden side quest!
Now, I can see how people will totally dig Macaron as a multiplayer game, but I am previewing this as a solo game. Is it just as good? Yep! I like being able to play the game whenever I want, and using another mechanic I didn’t describe earlier – Betting. Having to bet upon how many Gift Boxes you will score for the round adds another layer of analyzation I particularly enjoy. If you guess correctly you score an additional two Gift Boxes. If you’re wrong Emma scores two Boxes. Couple this with Emma’s unpredictable card play and you have an interesting AI player that you may never be able to “figure out” and beat methodically. I like that randomness from Emma. She has made a few games close, but ultimately has lost every game against me.
Macaron is a cute little Euchre-style card game that can be played well solo and multiplayer, and features wonderful style. I love the theme, and I seem to be attracted to food games; I love Bohnanza, Morels, Happy Salmon (my favorite fish to eat), Sushi Go!, Coconuts, and The Three Little Pigs (ok that one was mean, but hey, I love pork)! If you also enjoy food-related games, or trick-taking games, or just fun little card games you can play solo or with other people, please consider backing Macaron via their Kickstarter campaign launching soon. Tell them Purple Phoenix Games sent you and I will share my Gift Box of Macarons with you**. You will have to let me know your food allergies prior, though.
** I don’t actually have a Gift Box of Macarons. That was a lie, and I apologize for that.

Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated The Mandalorian in TV
Jan 22, 2021 (Updated Jan 22, 2021)
Being a child of Star Wars, born in ’73, whose first memory of a cinema was A New Hope in ’77, of course the entire franchise is still close to my heart. I am no superfan, however. I do not need to remember every name of every character, or know the obscure names of planets to enjoy it. I remember that deeply competitive nature back in the playground – how important it was to prove Star Wars was yours by knowing more than any other kid! Fortunately I managed to let that go shortly after The Return of the Jedi. Ok, maybe 1995.
The Mandalorian is definitely for all Star Wars fans, but it is mostly for the kids that never grew up and need those details of “the canonical Star Wars” universe in their lives. And there are plenty of them. It is a geek’s wet dream! With chat rooms and fan sites going wild in debate and argument over the smallest of Easter eggs and hints to connections across the medium. As if this is a lost historical document that sheds light on the truth of many characters and events, that until now were shrouded in darkness and speculation only.
I find that phenomenon weird and a little creepy, but I do appreciate where it comes from. For me, I am merely glad it isn’t crap. It is nice to be in the Star Wars universe without holding your face in your hands for shame of lazy storytelling and moments that shit on the spirit of the original trilogy. The first thing that pleased me about The Mandolorian is how close it is in feel to the old school trilogy. In fact it surprised me, because, despite the very modern effects and full budget of Disney behind it, it feels very old fashioned, like a TV show from around 1986, maybe. And I wonder how they have achieved that every time I watch it. It has an intangible magic about it.
In fact, the feel of the show as a whole is often a little cheap, shockingly – the posters and toys and all associated media is as glossy and crisp as all money can afford, creating an image of the show that isn’t actually what the show is. In reality it is a cross between old spaghetti westerns, with The Mandalorian cast as The Man With No Name, and episodes of The A-Team or Knightrider. I kinda like it; very nostalgic, and a smart move by Jon Favreau and the other show-runners. It appeals to middle aged audiences and new alike, because it is a knowing hybrid of all things cool and nerdy!
Design-wise, the look of The Mandalorian himself is perfect fan bait and very cool. The music goes a long way to drawing you in – Ludwig Göransson, known for his work on Black Panther and Tenet, has hit on a career defining theme that blends Clint Eastwood and Star Wars in perfect harmony. I can’t imagine the show working half as well without that theme music! The spaceships and detail of every alien and weapon and costume is meticulous (if at times a little wobbly or cheap looking), and the wider feel of background and tertiary characters is pretty damn good.
But, let’s face it… The Mandalorian is the success it has been predominantly for one reason. I could give him his real name, but if you haven’t finished it yet that would count as a huge spoiler, so I will refer to him as The Child. The temptation to use the phrase Baby Yoda is hard to resist, and has been a cultural phenomenon that only comes along once or twice in a decade, but on this I agree with the fans: it is inaccurate and misleading. The Child is fine. It’ll do until you learn his true moniker.
In season one, where the build up of story, character and mystery is superb, we see very little of The Child at first. But we cannot take our eyes off him for every second he is on screen. The whole concept is so beyond cute and incredibly strong as a hook for a Star Wars story it is almost impossible not to squeal out loud at everything he does. Who is he? Why is he? What is he capable of? How will he fit in to the longterm idea for the story? So exciting, and total genius to keep everyone watching.
It isn’t all about The Child on his own though. It is about the unlikely symbiotic bond, like father and son, that develops between the tiny, vulnerable and childlike focal point, and the increasingly confident and loyal antihero, who will stop at nothing to protect his ward, as he struggles to find his own place in the universe. After a very short time, we care more about this relationship than 90% of all romances in all of TV history.
Through danger, mayhem and a touch of comedy, we grow to adore the two of them together, and can’t bear to think of them being apart. Some trick when you realise The Child is as much a mini-muppet style prosthetic as it is added CGI for expression and detail. Perhaps another callback to our 80s sensibilities, when we accepted ETs and Gremlins and all of the residents of Mos Eisley’s cantina as real without hesitation. It doesn’t have to look real, is the point, as long as it fits the story, is cool and is fun! Which The Child totally is – for entertainment value they have got the tone of the show so right.
What doesn’t hold up that strongly to critical scrutiny though is quite a lot of the scripts, the repetitive nature of the context of many episodes and missions the duo find themselves on, the mismatch quality of the guest directors abilities, and quite a lot of the dodgy acting by supporting characters. It’s as if at some production meeting at one early point they all said, look it’s Star Wars, we make the aliens and the spaceships and the weapons look good and we can’t fail… plus we have The Child and Boba Fett’s (yes, I know) armour, we can’t fail!
The basic storyline is enough to hook it on, just about, it is the detail that sometimes feels weak and lazy. But don’t worry, any minute something cool to look at and a big fight will happen, so we’re all good! I’m sure Pedro Pascal (the actor under the armour) can’t believe his luck! He is one of the biggest stars in TV all of a sudden, for basically doing a fairly monotone voice-over performance of some seriously dodgy dialogue. That is the magic of Star Wars.
So, I came to season one late, having no access at that time to Disney plus. In fact, I watched all of season one in a day the day before the launch of season two, so the switch to a new episode to look forward to suited me well. It gave me something to look forward to on a Friday between Halloween and Christmas. Trouble was that, although still having fun with the exploits of The Kid, I was starting to weary of the plotlines, and put my viewing on hold after S2E4 in favour of the far superior scripting of His Dark Materials on BBC.
I must have needed the hiatus, because when I came back to mop it up and finish season two a few days ago I realised that I had in fact missed it. It also helped that episode 5 onwards is when the season gets really good again. Rosario Dawson as Ashoka Tano (known well by fans of The Clone Wars) was a truly great addition that the show much needed by that point.
I had no trouble after that in bingeing to the end. You could feel a climax and a revelation coming, and although the character of Moff Gideon (Giancarlo Esposito) crumbled disappointly away into nothing much, the last 15 minutes of the final episode had me slack jawed in fan wonderment. I felt 9 years old again, and I loved it! I had been amazingly lucky not to stumble upon spoilers, I guess. Amazing ending, and all faults forgiven for that unforgettable moment and feel. Wonderful stuff!
To say any more, again, is to spoil. So, let’s just talk about it privately, or, you know, in about a year when season 3 is over and it is old news. Hmmm, season 3…? I wonder where they will take that now…? Actually, properly exciting, in a back in the playground kind of way.
The Mandalorian is definitely for all Star Wars fans, but it is mostly for the kids that never grew up and need those details of “the canonical Star Wars” universe in their lives. And there are plenty of them. It is a geek’s wet dream! With chat rooms and fan sites going wild in debate and argument over the smallest of Easter eggs and hints to connections across the medium. As if this is a lost historical document that sheds light on the truth of many characters and events, that until now were shrouded in darkness and speculation only.
I find that phenomenon weird and a little creepy, but I do appreciate where it comes from. For me, I am merely glad it isn’t crap. It is nice to be in the Star Wars universe without holding your face in your hands for shame of lazy storytelling and moments that shit on the spirit of the original trilogy. The first thing that pleased me about The Mandolorian is how close it is in feel to the old school trilogy. In fact it surprised me, because, despite the very modern effects and full budget of Disney behind it, it feels very old fashioned, like a TV show from around 1986, maybe. And I wonder how they have achieved that every time I watch it. It has an intangible magic about it.
In fact, the feel of the show as a whole is often a little cheap, shockingly – the posters and toys and all associated media is as glossy and crisp as all money can afford, creating an image of the show that isn’t actually what the show is. In reality it is a cross between old spaghetti westerns, with The Mandalorian cast as The Man With No Name, and episodes of The A-Team or Knightrider. I kinda like it; very nostalgic, and a smart move by Jon Favreau and the other show-runners. It appeals to middle aged audiences and new alike, because it is a knowing hybrid of all things cool and nerdy!
Design-wise, the look of The Mandalorian himself is perfect fan bait and very cool. The music goes a long way to drawing you in – Ludwig Göransson, known for his work on Black Panther and Tenet, has hit on a career defining theme that blends Clint Eastwood and Star Wars in perfect harmony. I can’t imagine the show working half as well without that theme music! The spaceships and detail of every alien and weapon and costume is meticulous (if at times a little wobbly or cheap looking), and the wider feel of background and tertiary characters is pretty damn good.
But, let’s face it… The Mandalorian is the success it has been predominantly for one reason. I could give him his real name, but if you haven’t finished it yet that would count as a huge spoiler, so I will refer to him as The Child. The temptation to use the phrase Baby Yoda is hard to resist, and has been a cultural phenomenon that only comes along once or twice in a decade, but on this I agree with the fans: it is inaccurate and misleading. The Child is fine. It’ll do until you learn his true moniker.
In season one, where the build up of story, character and mystery is superb, we see very little of The Child at first. But we cannot take our eyes off him for every second he is on screen. The whole concept is so beyond cute and incredibly strong as a hook for a Star Wars story it is almost impossible not to squeal out loud at everything he does. Who is he? Why is he? What is he capable of? How will he fit in to the longterm idea for the story? So exciting, and total genius to keep everyone watching.
It isn’t all about The Child on his own though. It is about the unlikely symbiotic bond, like father and son, that develops between the tiny, vulnerable and childlike focal point, and the increasingly confident and loyal antihero, who will stop at nothing to protect his ward, as he struggles to find his own place in the universe. After a very short time, we care more about this relationship than 90% of all romances in all of TV history.
Through danger, mayhem and a touch of comedy, we grow to adore the two of them together, and can’t bear to think of them being apart. Some trick when you realise The Child is as much a mini-muppet style prosthetic as it is added CGI for expression and detail. Perhaps another callback to our 80s sensibilities, when we accepted ETs and Gremlins and all of the residents of Mos Eisley’s cantina as real without hesitation. It doesn’t have to look real, is the point, as long as it fits the story, is cool and is fun! Which The Child totally is – for entertainment value they have got the tone of the show so right.
What doesn’t hold up that strongly to critical scrutiny though is quite a lot of the scripts, the repetitive nature of the context of many episodes and missions the duo find themselves on, the mismatch quality of the guest directors abilities, and quite a lot of the dodgy acting by supporting characters. It’s as if at some production meeting at one early point they all said, look it’s Star Wars, we make the aliens and the spaceships and the weapons look good and we can’t fail… plus we have The Child and Boba Fett’s (yes, I know) armour, we can’t fail!
The basic storyline is enough to hook it on, just about, it is the detail that sometimes feels weak and lazy. But don’t worry, any minute something cool to look at and a big fight will happen, so we’re all good! I’m sure Pedro Pascal (the actor under the armour) can’t believe his luck! He is one of the biggest stars in TV all of a sudden, for basically doing a fairly monotone voice-over performance of some seriously dodgy dialogue. That is the magic of Star Wars.
So, I came to season one late, having no access at that time to Disney plus. In fact, I watched all of season one in a day the day before the launch of season two, so the switch to a new episode to look forward to suited me well. It gave me something to look forward to on a Friday between Halloween and Christmas. Trouble was that, although still having fun with the exploits of The Kid, I was starting to weary of the plotlines, and put my viewing on hold after S2E4 in favour of the far superior scripting of His Dark Materials on BBC.
I must have needed the hiatus, because when I came back to mop it up and finish season two a few days ago I realised that I had in fact missed it. It also helped that episode 5 onwards is when the season gets really good again. Rosario Dawson as Ashoka Tano (known well by fans of The Clone Wars) was a truly great addition that the show much needed by that point.
I had no trouble after that in bingeing to the end. You could feel a climax and a revelation coming, and although the character of Moff Gideon (Giancarlo Esposito) crumbled disappointly away into nothing much, the last 15 minutes of the final episode had me slack jawed in fan wonderment. I felt 9 years old again, and I loved it! I had been amazingly lucky not to stumble upon spoilers, I guess. Amazing ending, and all faults forgiven for that unforgettable moment and feel. Wonderful stuff!
To say any more, again, is to spoil. So, let’s just talk about it privately, or, you know, in about a year when season 3 is over and it is old news. Hmmm, season 3…? I wonder where they will take that now…? Actually, properly exciting, in a back in the playground kind of way.

Annie Chanse (15 KP) rated Shadows & Dreams in Books
Dec 19, 2017
Review** spoiler alert ** *Warning: contains spoilers, bad words, and quite a long rant*
To be honest, I was very disappointed in this book. It had a great premise, which meant it had the potential to be a really good story, but the writing style of the author just completely ruined this book for me.
The basic idea behind the story is that Kate Kane, a paranormal PI, sets off on a case to find the brother of a woman she slept with once, and during this investigation, she runs into ALL MANNER OF TROUBLE. There are vampires and werewolves and ex-girlfriends around every corner, just lurking and waiting to pounce on Miss Kane. It's a very busy and involved story, and if it had been better written, I would have easily given it four stars at least, but there was just TOO much about this book -- style-wise -- that drove me insane.
For instance:
1. The plot, itself, is actually fairly well thought out and developed and is nowhere NEAR as cheesy as it sounds when you hear, "Vampires fighting werewolves," -- which, let's be honest, these days is so trite and overdone that it is scoffed at on a regular basis. However, there IS a good story in this novel. But the way Hall writes the not-cheesy story is so cheesy that it makes you THINK the story is cheesy. A lot of cheese, huh? A little confusing? Well then, let me give you an example.
Page 7-8: "Truth be told it was a little bit awkward, but my social weirdness threshold has gone way up since my girlfriend tried to murder my ex-girlfriend because her ex-girlfriend tried to murder her."
Okay... a bit ridiculous, especially seven/eight pages in, but I can roll with it. However, at the bottom of page eight:
Kane asks, "Who saw him last?"
Her assistant -- who is actually a statue brought to life and gifted to Kate by a group of rats who are apparently all seeing and all knowing God-types -- says, "I don't know. [...] Probably somebody at the hospital."
Kane asks, "Which one?"
And the assistant replies with this fantastic line: "The Whittington. He broke his leg changing a light bulb. Because he was standing on a swivel chair because he's an idiot."
Okay, I concede that maybe this line is supposed to sound ridiculous and funny, so I can even let that one slide. But then, three pages later, Hall completely turns me off to the book with this:
"Well, fuck. I was about to be hired by a woman I'd very nearly slept with to find her missing brother who was working for the woman who'd left me for a tech startup at the tech startup she left me for."
Wh-wh-what?! Are you kidding me? Could that sentence BE anymore convoluted or that plot-point any more ridiculously stereotypical?
And what is truly awful is that the story itself REALLY WASN'T THAT BAD. I mean, the writing was awful, which, overall, meant that the novel was -- in my opinion, of course -- bad, but the way the story progressed WAS interesting. It was nowhere near as bad as these 'recaps' by the main character make it sound, but the problem is that Hall throws in these inner-monologues for Kane ALL throughout the book, and they are terrible! Which, in turn, decreases the value of the entire story.
Another example falls right on the heels of the page 11 jewel.
Page 14: "I really really hoped this wasn't going to be another zombie plague. There'd been an outbreak when I'd taken Eve up to Lake Windermere for our third anniversary, and we'd spent the whole weekend under siege in the hotel, making molotovs from the minibar and clubbing re-animated tourists to death with souvenir walking sticks."
Really? Zombies now? On top of the vampires, witches, and werewolves? Can we POSSIBLY fit anymore para into this normal?
Enough with that.
Now on to point number 2. The girl on girl sex scenes in this book between sexy, snarky PI and her vampire girlfriend, the Prince (yes, Prince) of Cups, should be hot, right? No. They are forced, fake, and ridiculous. Halfway through the first one, I thought, "Jesus. This isn't lesbian sex. This is lesbian sex if it was written by a man who WISHES he could see some lesbian sex." That was the point at which I decided to look up more info on Alexis Hall, and I found out that he is, in fact, a man, which at least explains the sex scenes.
#3. Speaking of sex scenes, Hall also has this really irritating -- and distracting -- habit of throwing in random, explicitly sexual thoughts at TOTALLY inappropriate times. Right in the middle of the most stressful situations -- being locked up, about to be killed, thrown in prison/on trial -- Kate Kane begins inner-monologuing with herself about how much she'd like to fuck whatever female happens to be standing in front of her. RIDICULOUS! And annoying. Hated it.
4. One of the MOST annoying things about this book, however, was that it was in DESPERATE need of a SERIOUS case of editing. All throughout the book there were glaring errors that any first year college student should have caught while reading. I'm willing to discount SOME of these "errors" as simply being lost in translation, as the book is written with a British tone, and I am very much American. However, SOME of these errors simply CANNOT be due to anything other than careless editing.
For instance, page 113: "It's main distinguishing feature, right, was that was it was blue."
WAS that WAS it WAS blue? What does that even mean? Oh, yes, it means that no one bothered editing this beast before printing.
Page 141: "Piercing the heart will paralyse, but it won't kill, and anything will do, it doesn't have to wood."
Okay, so maybe the "paralyse" is simply British, but surely the "doesn't have to wood" bit needs a "be" in there somewhere, right?
Page 157: "Have we have achieved case closed, Miss Kane?"
Yes, yes have we have.
There are several -- SEVERAL -- more examples of these type errors, but I'm not about to point them all out. If you read the book, I'm sure you'll easily catch them on your own.
5. Another thing that drove me NUTS was the repetition. The awful thing is I'm fairly certain that Hall used these repetitious lines PURPOSELY to create some kind of effect -- humor, maybe? Whatever the desired result, it failed to do anything other than annoy me.
For instance, page 163: "'Hi. So. Look.' I tried to find a way to express the fact I had some good news and some bad news that wasn't I've got some good news and some bad news. 'I've got some good news and some bad news.'"
...blink... ...falls over...
Page 177: "All the more reason to tell them. [...] If they know that we know that she has returned, then they will not be tempted to conspire against us out of the false belief that we do not know. Of course, they may already know, but at present, we have no way to know what they know. If we tell them, we will know what they know, and all we will not know is how long they have known it."
Oh. Jumping. Jesus. On. A. Pogo. Stick. Please tell me you aren't serious.
And there was this one thing that repeated over and over again throughout the book. The first time, it was actually pretty clever. The second time, even, was okay. But by the time I'd read it nine times -- yes, NINE TIMES, no exaggeration whatsoever -- I was ready to never EVER read anything like it ever again.
This particular phrase was something Kate Kane internalized or muttered aloud to herself each time she decided to do something stupid OR she felt her life was in danger. The basic format went something like this:
"Here lies Kate Kane, died peacefully in her sleep aged 94. Beloved daughter."
The "Here lies Kate Kane" part remained constant, as did the "Beloved daughter." It was only the middle part that changed, for instance, "Here lies Kate Kate. Should have minded her own business. Beloved daughter." Or perhaps, "Here lies Kate Kane. She made a difference to dozens. Beloved daughter."
This continued NINE TIMES. It is not cute, funny, or clever after about the second time, definitely after the third. BUT NINE TIMES?! Come on!
And finally, my last complaint.
6. Several of the items, scenes, quotes, etc. in this book seemed waaaaaaaaaay too close to things from other books for my taste. Perhaps it is simply a coincidence and the author did not intentionally siphon plot points and details from other authors -- except, of course, when he obviously did in his quotations, such as his use of "Not all those who wander are lost" and "As old as my tongue, a little bit older than my teeth" which are DIRECTLY taken from other books, but I'm hoping those were intentional and not attempted-to-get-away-with-it plagiarism.
But there are several things in this novel that could have been taken from Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files", Lewis' "Narnia" chronicles, and Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" series. I'm hoping, however, that they weren't, but they were very, very similar.
All in all, I'm disappointed to say that I was not a fan of this book at all, and I will most likely not be reading anymore Kate Kane books.
To be honest, I was very disappointed in this book. It had a great premise, which meant it had the potential to be a really good story, but the writing style of the author just completely ruined this book for me.
The basic idea behind the story is that Kate Kane, a paranormal PI, sets off on a case to find the brother of a woman she slept with once, and during this investigation, she runs into ALL MANNER OF TROUBLE. There are vampires and werewolves and ex-girlfriends around every corner, just lurking and waiting to pounce on Miss Kane. It's a very busy and involved story, and if it had been better written, I would have easily given it four stars at least, but there was just TOO much about this book -- style-wise -- that drove me insane.
For instance:
1. The plot, itself, is actually fairly well thought out and developed and is nowhere NEAR as cheesy as it sounds when you hear, "Vampires fighting werewolves," -- which, let's be honest, these days is so trite and overdone that it is scoffed at on a regular basis. However, there IS a good story in this novel. But the way Hall writes the not-cheesy story is so cheesy that it makes you THINK the story is cheesy. A lot of cheese, huh? A little confusing? Well then, let me give you an example.
Page 7-8: "Truth be told it was a little bit awkward, but my social weirdness threshold has gone way up since my girlfriend tried to murder my ex-girlfriend because her ex-girlfriend tried to murder her."
Okay... a bit ridiculous, especially seven/eight pages in, but I can roll with it. However, at the bottom of page eight:
Kane asks, "Who saw him last?"
Her assistant -- who is actually a statue brought to life and gifted to Kate by a group of rats who are apparently all seeing and all knowing God-types -- says, "I don't know. [...] Probably somebody at the hospital."
Kane asks, "Which one?"
And the assistant replies with this fantastic line: "The Whittington. He broke his leg changing a light bulb. Because he was standing on a swivel chair because he's an idiot."
Okay, I concede that maybe this line is supposed to sound ridiculous and funny, so I can even let that one slide. But then, three pages later, Hall completely turns me off to the book with this:
"Well, fuck. I was about to be hired by a woman I'd very nearly slept with to find her missing brother who was working for the woman who'd left me for a tech startup at the tech startup she left me for."
Wh-wh-what?! Are you kidding me? Could that sentence BE anymore convoluted or that plot-point any more ridiculously stereotypical?
And what is truly awful is that the story itself REALLY WASN'T THAT BAD. I mean, the writing was awful, which, overall, meant that the novel was -- in my opinion, of course -- bad, but the way the story progressed WAS interesting. It was nowhere near as bad as these 'recaps' by the main character make it sound, but the problem is that Hall throws in these inner-monologues for Kane ALL throughout the book, and they are terrible! Which, in turn, decreases the value of the entire story.
Another example falls right on the heels of the page 11 jewel.
Page 14: "I really really hoped this wasn't going to be another zombie plague. There'd been an outbreak when I'd taken Eve up to Lake Windermere for our third anniversary, and we'd spent the whole weekend under siege in the hotel, making molotovs from the minibar and clubbing re-animated tourists to death with souvenir walking sticks."
Really? Zombies now? On top of the vampires, witches, and werewolves? Can we POSSIBLY fit anymore para into this normal?
Enough with that.
Now on to point number 2. The girl on girl sex scenes in this book between sexy, snarky PI and her vampire girlfriend, the Prince (yes, Prince) of Cups, should be hot, right? No. They are forced, fake, and ridiculous. Halfway through the first one, I thought, "Jesus. This isn't lesbian sex. This is lesbian sex if it was written by a man who WISHES he could see some lesbian sex." That was the point at which I decided to look up more info on Alexis Hall, and I found out that he is, in fact, a man, which at least explains the sex scenes.
#3. Speaking of sex scenes, Hall also has this really irritating -- and distracting -- habit of throwing in random, explicitly sexual thoughts at TOTALLY inappropriate times. Right in the middle of the most stressful situations -- being locked up, about to be killed, thrown in prison/on trial -- Kate Kane begins inner-monologuing with herself about how much she'd like to fuck whatever female happens to be standing in front of her. RIDICULOUS! And annoying. Hated it.
4. One of the MOST annoying things about this book, however, was that it was in DESPERATE need of a SERIOUS case of editing. All throughout the book there were glaring errors that any first year college student should have caught while reading. I'm willing to discount SOME of these "errors" as simply being lost in translation, as the book is written with a British tone, and I am very much American. However, SOME of these errors simply CANNOT be due to anything other than careless editing.
For instance, page 113: "It's main distinguishing feature, right, was that was it was blue."
WAS that WAS it WAS blue? What does that even mean? Oh, yes, it means that no one bothered editing this beast before printing.
Page 141: "Piercing the heart will paralyse, but it won't kill, and anything will do, it doesn't have to wood."
Okay, so maybe the "paralyse" is simply British, but surely the "doesn't have to wood" bit needs a "be" in there somewhere, right?
Page 157: "Have we have achieved case closed, Miss Kane?"
Yes, yes have we have.
There are several -- SEVERAL -- more examples of these type errors, but I'm not about to point them all out. If you read the book, I'm sure you'll easily catch them on your own.
5. Another thing that drove me NUTS was the repetition. The awful thing is I'm fairly certain that Hall used these repetitious lines PURPOSELY to create some kind of effect -- humor, maybe? Whatever the desired result, it failed to do anything other than annoy me.
For instance, page 163: "'Hi. So. Look.' I tried to find a way to express the fact I had some good news and some bad news that wasn't I've got some good news and some bad news. 'I've got some good news and some bad news.'"
...blink... ...falls over...
Page 177: "All the more reason to tell them. [...] If they know that we know that she has returned, then they will not be tempted to conspire against us out of the false belief that we do not know. Of course, they may already know, but at present, we have no way to know what they know. If we tell them, we will know what they know, and all we will not know is how long they have known it."
Oh. Jumping. Jesus. On. A. Pogo. Stick. Please tell me you aren't serious.
And there was this one thing that repeated over and over again throughout the book. The first time, it was actually pretty clever. The second time, even, was okay. But by the time I'd read it nine times -- yes, NINE TIMES, no exaggeration whatsoever -- I was ready to never EVER read anything like it ever again.
This particular phrase was something Kate Kane internalized or muttered aloud to herself each time she decided to do something stupid OR she felt her life was in danger. The basic format went something like this:
"Here lies Kate Kane, died peacefully in her sleep aged 94. Beloved daughter."
The "Here lies Kate Kane" part remained constant, as did the "Beloved daughter." It was only the middle part that changed, for instance, "Here lies Kate Kate. Should have minded her own business. Beloved daughter." Or perhaps, "Here lies Kate Kane. She made a difference to dozens. Beloved daughter."
This continued NINE TIMES. It is not cute, funny, or clever after about the second time, definitely after the third. BUT NINE TIMES?! Come on!
And finally, my last complaint.
6. Several of the items, scenes, quotes, etc. in this book seemed waaaaaaaaaay too close to things from other books for my taste. Perhaps it is simply a coincidence and the author did not intentionally siphon plot points and details from other authors -- except, of course, when he obviously did in his quotations, such as his use of "Not all those who wander are lost" and "As old as my tongue, a little bit older than my teeth" which are DIRECTLY taken from other books, but I'm hoping those were intentional and not attempted-to-get-away-with-it plagiarism.
But there are several things in this novel that could have been taken from Jim Butcher's "Dresden Files", Lewis' "Narnia" chronicles, and Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" series. I'm hoping, however, that they weren't, but they were very, very similar.
All in all, I'm disappointed to say that I was not a fan of this book at all, and I will most likely not be reading anymore Kate Kane books.

Heather Cranmer (2721 KP) rated The Exalted Gate in Books
Jun 7, 2018
(This review can be found on my blog <a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.com/">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>.
I absolutely love the cover of this book. It is gorgeous!! Anyway, this book has ten stories in it, so I will review and rate each one individually.
*
Boots
Judith (of an undisclosed age) is a girl that hates wearing shoes. However, she is in a play where she has to play a Polish tramp. She doesn't want to wear shoes, but the director says even tramps wear shoes. She finds some beat up looking boots in the prop room and puts them on. As soon as they are on her feet, it's like they have a mind of their own. They take Judith where they want to go. What ensues in an adventure that Judith won't soon forget.
I thought the story of Boots was a really cute and interesting read. I definitely think this will appeal to children of all ages. The only slight problem was with punctuation, but that's nothing that major. Judith is an interesting girl. I'd recommend this story.
I'd give Boots a 4.5 out of 5.
*
Five Gifts
Lonia is a thirteen year old girl whose parents are already nagging her to get married. (Yeah, it's a bit much, but it does say in the story that this was way back in the day). She'd rather spend her days in the children's glade talking to her elf friend, Pintak. One day, Pintak is kidnapped by a mean old wizard, and Lonia decides that she must go rescue him. She is given five gifts from different creatures of the forest to help her on her quest.
I was impressed with this story, and I found it quite interesting. There's also a lesson to be learned about experimenting on animals. Lonia was definitely a brave little girl and was willing to risk everything to save her friend. There are a few punctuation mistakes and a mispelt word, but other than that, this story was a good one.
I'd give Five Gifts a 5 out of 5.
*
Sintinko
Sintinko is a story set in Japan back when it was all emperors and generals. The emperor is jealous of Sintinko and wants to have him killed. It's only because of Ilyo, Sintinko's love interest, that the emperor spares his life. However, Sintinko is banished from Japan until he can find a maple tree that can sit in the hand of the emperor. Ilyo and Sintinko know that they will most likely never see each other. Unbeknownst to Sintinko and everyone else, Ilyo disguises herself as a geisha to help Sintinko on his journey. Love and loss are the themes of this story.
This was such a bittersweet love story. I felt sorry for both Sintinko and Ilyo. Sintinko thought he would never see his beloved again and swore off any type of relationship. Ilyo had her beloved right there in front of her, yet she couldn't do anything about it.
The names, being Japanese, were a bit hard to pronounce, but it's easy to get past that since the story is so strong. Speaking of names, this story even lets us know how the Bonsai tree got its name.
There's a few punctuation mistakes, but nothing that takes away from the story.
I think this story would be better suited for ages 11+. Personally, I found the story a bit slow, but not painfully slow.
I'd give Sintinko a 3.5 out of 5.
*
Tivurambhat
Tivurambhat is the story of a ghost by the same name of the title who helps people out in times of need in India. A mean man forces people to work for him by letting them borrow money, putting the interest up, and paying them such low wages they can never afford to pay him pack. One man decides to do something about it and goes to Tivurambhat for help.
I loved the message behind the story. Towards the ending, it even had me smiling. I couldn't pronounce the names since they were all Indian names, so I just shortened them so my American self could pronounce them. I loved the character of Tiv. He kind of reminded me of an American version of Casper for some reason. I really enjoyed the conversation between Pradesh and Tiv the most. This was such a happy story!
Again, there's some punctuation mistakes and a few grammar ones as well, but the story itself was excellent.
I'd give Tivurambhat a 5 out of 5.
*
St. Penalyn's Well
St Penalyn's Well tells the story of Rebecca (of an undisclosed age) who ventures into an overgrown garden with her dog. She stumbles across a well with an inscription. It is while reading this inscription that she becomes trapped in the well. Lucky for her, she meets an elf named Opickle who keeps her company and gives her the inspiration she needs to find her way out.
This was definitely an interesting story. I was hooked all the way through. It's a story about friendship amongst diversity and not giving up. I found Opickle to be just a tad bit of a snob but not enough to put me off the story.
A few punctuation mistakes throughout the story but not enough to be distracting.
St. Penalyn's Well gets a 5 out of 5 from me.
*
Quint and Trout's Mistake
Quint and Trout's Mistake is a story I didn't finish because of the name calling and making fun of someone who is overweight. It starts out innocently enough. A lake is being overrun by a white smelly substance. Two brothers, Quint and Trout, talk their friend Ned into investigating why this is happening. Ned swims down to the bottom of the lake and finds an overweight creature living in a cave who has been kicked out of his house. This is when the name calling starts, and I stopped reading.
I do not like stories aimed at children that condone name calling of any sort whether it be because of weight, disabilities, race, etc. Children do not need to read something like this and feel bad about themselves or view it as an excuse to tease others. I was very disappointed something like this was in a children's book.
Quint and Trout's Mistake gets a 0 out of 5 from me. What a vile story!
*
Densus
Densus is a boy who was born with blue fingernails and blue streaks in his hair. This is because he has a destiny to fulfill. When a crab named Arnold asks him if he'd go tell a giant that he has found a perfect wife for him, Densus agrees because it's his destiny even if there's a possibility the giant could kill him.
This is a story about destinies. It lets us know that we all have destinies if only we weren't too busy trying to find out what they are. This is a fun story which I think children would love! I loved Arnold the crab!! I think a majority of children would love him.
Again, there's a few punctuation and grammar mistakes but nothing major.
I'd give Densus a 5 out of 5.
*
Alice's Granddaughter
Alice's Granddaughter takes place years after Alice in Wonderland. Alice's granddaughter, Alicia, is recruited by a thief named Cheng to go down into a rabbit hole to get him a yellow dragon. Alicia discovers that things in Wonderland haven't changed much.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story! I'm a sucker for everything Alice in Wonderland-esque, and this was no exception! I loved how the author still managed to preserve the original Wonderland in his tale and how he even managed to keep the style of writing similar to that of Lewis Carroll. My favorite character was definitely the talking table. My only gripe is that I wish this story would've been longer!
As like with the previous story, there are some punctuation and grammar mistakes that can be overlooked.
Alice's Granddaughter gets a bit 5 out of 5.
*
The Dragon
The Dragon is a story about death. In this story, we follow a dragon in her very last moments as she dies of what I assume to be old age. We get to see her memories of when she was her prime and when she takes her last breath.
This is a sad story and probably one for the older children unless younger children can handle the topic of death. It's not written in a morbid way though. It's actually written quite beautifully especially when we get to see the memory of the dragon in her prime. I think this story can show that death is not always bad.
There are grammar and punctuation mistakes but nothing that deters from the story.
The Dragon gets a 3.75 out of 5.
*
The Wisdom of a Dog
The Wisdom of a Dog is about a man named Keith and his dog who go on an adventure and wind up in a crystal city. Keith must found out who is destroying the city and save it.
This story was a good read, and I think most children would enjoy it especially as it involves a talking dog. I enjoyed how the author even placed his own dialogue in the story. This is a good versus bad story that shows that bad people never win.
Again, there are grammar and punctuation mistakes, but it doesn't take away from the story.
The Wisdom of a Dog gets a 3.5 out of 5.
*
The Exalted Gate by Daniel Nanavati averages out to a 3.5 out of 5. I'd definitely recommend this book to old and young alike!
(I received a free physical copy of this title from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review).
I absolutely love the cover of this book. It is gorgeous!! Anyway, this book has ten stories in it, so I will review and rate each one individually.
*
Boots
Judith (of an undisclosed age) is a girl that hates wearing shoes. However, she is in a play where she has to play a Polish tramp. She doesn't want to wear shoes, but the director says even tramps wear shoes. She finds some beat up looking boots in the prop room and puts them on. As soon as they are on her feet, it's like they have a mind of their own. They take Judith where they want to go. What ensues in an adventure that Judith won't soon forget.
I thought the story of Boots was a really cute and interesting read. I definitely think this will appeal to children of all ages. The only slight problem was with punctuation, but that's nothing that major. Judith is an interesting girl. I'd recommend this story.
I'd give Boots a 4.5 out of 5.
*
Five Gifts
Lonia is a thirteen year old girl whose parents are already nagging her to get married. (Yeah, it's a bit much, but it does say in the story that this was way back in the day). She'd rather spend her days in the children's glade talking to her elf friend, Pintak. One day, Pintak is kidnapped by a mean old wizard, and Lonia decides that she must go rescue him. She is given five gifts from different creatures of the forest to help her on her quest.
I was impressed with this story, and I found it quite interesting. There's also a lesson to be learned about experimenting on animals. Lonia was definitely a brave little girl and was willing to risk everything to save her friend. There are a few punctuation mistakes and a mispelt word, but other than that, this story was a good one.
I'd give Five Gifts a 5 out of 5.
*
Sintinko
Sintinko is a story set in Japan back when it was all emperors and generals. The emperor is jealous of Sintinko and wants to have him killed. It's only because of Ilyo, Sintinko's love interest, that the emperor spares his life. However, Sintinko is banished from Japan until he can find a maple tree that can sit in the hand of the emperor. Ilyo and Sintinko know that they will most likely never see each other. Unbeknownst to Sintinko and everyone else, Ilyo disguises herself as a geisha to help Sintinko on his journey. Love and loss are the themes of this story.
This was such a bittersweet love story. I felt sorry for both Sintinko and Ilyo. Sintinko thought he would never see his beloved again and swore off any type of relationship. Ilyo had her beloved right there in front of her, yet she couldn't do anything about it.
The names, being Japanese, were a bit hard to pronounce, but it's easy to get past that since the story is so strong. Speaking of names, this story even lets us know how the Bonsai tree got its name.
There's a few punctuation mistakes, but nothing that takes away from the story.
I think this story would be better suited for ages 11+. Personally, I found the story a bit slow, but not painfully slow.
I'd give Sintinko a 3.5 out of 5.
*
Tivurambhat
Tivurambhat is the story of a ghost by the same name of the title who helps people out in times of need in India. A mean man forces people to work for him by letting them borrow money, putting the interest up, and paying them such low wages they can never afford to pay him pack. One man decides to do something about it and goes to Tivurambhat for help.
I loved the message behind the story. Towards the ending, it even had me smiling. I couldn't pronounce the names since they were all Indian names, so I just shortened them so my American self could pronounce them. I loved the character of Tiv. He kind of reminded me of an American version of Casper for some reason. I really enjoyed the conversation between Pradesh and Tiv the most. This was such a happy story!
Again, there's some punctuation mistakes and a few grammar ones as well, but the story itself was excellent.
I'd give Tivurambhat a 5 out of 5.
*
St. Penalyn's Well
St Penalyn's Well tells the story of Rebecca (of an undisclosed age) who ventures into an overgrown garden with her dog. She stumbles across a well with an inscription. It is while reading this inscription that she becomes trapped in the well. Lucky for her, she meets an elf named Opickle who keeps her company and gives her the inspiration she needs to find her way out.
This was definitely an interesting story. I was hooked all the way through. It's a story about friendship amongst diversity and not giving up. I found Opickle to be just a tad bit of a snob but not enough to put me off the story.
A few punctuation mistakes throughout the story but not enough to be distracting.
St. Penalyn's Well gets a 5 out of 5 from me.
*
Quint and Trout's Mistake
Quint and Trout's Mistake is a story I didn't finish because of the name calling and making fun of someone who is overweight. It starts out innocently enough. A lake is being overrun by a white smelly substance. Two brothers, Quint and Trout, talk their friend Ned into investigating why this is happening. Ned swims down to the bottom of the lake and finds an overweight creature living in a cave who has been kicked out of his house. This is when the name calling starts, and I stopped reading.
I do not like stories aimed at children that condone name calling of any sort whether it be because of weight, disabilities, race, etc. Children do not need to read something like this and feel bad about themselves or view it as an excuse to tease others. I was very disappointed something like this was in a children's book.
Quint and Trout's Mistake gets a 0 out of 5 from me. What a vile story!
*
Densus
Densus is a boy who was born with blue fingernails and blue streaks in his hair. This is because he has a destiny to fulfill. When a crab named Arnold asks him if he'd go tell a giant that he has found a perfect wife for him, Densus agrees because it's his destiny even if there's a possibility the giant could kill him.
This is a story about destinies. It lets us know that we all have destinies if only we weren't too busy trying to find out what they are. This is a fun story which I think children would love! I loved Arnold the crab!! I think a majority of children would love him.
Again, there's a few punctuation and grammar mistakes but nothing major.
I'd give Densus a 5 out of 5.
*
Alice's Granddaughter
Alice's Granddaughter takes place years after Alice in Wonderland. Alice's granddaughter, Alicia, is recruited by a thief named Cheng to go down into a rabbit hole to get him a yellow dragon. Alicia discovers that things in Wonderland haven't changed much.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story! I'm a sucker for everything Alice in Wonderland-esque, and this was no exception! I loved how the author still managed to preserve the original Wonderland in his tale and how he even managed to keep the style of writing similar to that of Lewis Carroll. My favorite character was definitely the talking table. My only gripe is that I wish this story would've been longer!
As like with the previous story, there are some punctuation and grammar mistakes that can be overlooked.
Alice's Granddaughter gets a bit 5 out of 5.
*
The Dragon
The Dragon is a story about death. In this story, we follow a dragon in her very last moments as she dies of what I assume to be old age. We get to see her memories of when she was her prime and when she takes her last breath.
This is a sad story and probably one for the older children unless younger children can handle the topic of death. It's not written in a morbid way though. It's actually written quite beautifully especially when we get to see the memory of the dragon in her prime. I think this story can show that death is not always bad.
There are grammar and punctuation mistakes but nothing that deters from the story.
The Dragon gets a 3.75 out of 5.
*
The Wisdom of a Dog
The Wisdom of a Dog is about a man named Keith and his dog who go on an adventure and wind up in a crystal city. Keith must found out who is destroying the city and save it.
This story was a good read, and I think most children would enjoy it especially as it involves a talking dog. I enjoyed how the author even placed his own dialogue in the story. This is a good versus bad story that shows that bad people never win.
Again, there are grammar and punctuation mistakes, but it doesn't take away from the story.
The Wisdom of a Dog gets a 3.5 out of 5.
*
The Exalted Gate by Daniel Nanavati averages out to a 3.5 out of 5. I'd definitely recommend this book to old and young alike!
(I received a free physical copy of this title from the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review).