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Jewels (684 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies

Jul 29, 2019  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Sasha Lane (1 more)
Daniel Dae Kim
Just about all of it (0 more)
A fan of the original Hellboy movies, this came as an utter disappointment. They tried to get the cool-shock value with a ridiculous amount of unneeded gore, and by dropping the f-bomb about every other line. Both of these could have been cut by 3/4 and made a better movie. It did have some good one-liners and a few good comedic instances, but not enough to save this disaster.

Sahsa Lane was probably the best part of the movie, followed by Daniel Dae Kim, tho his character was not the best. David Harbour has the potential to be a great Hellboy, but it felt like he either didn't embrace and enjoy the character, or was made to hold back while playing Hellboy.

If they decide to proceed with a second film, I hope they cut back on the unnecessary gore and language, and that Harbour has a chance to really embrace the character and have fun with it. That being said, if you are in the mood for a crappy movie, or you are planning a crappy movie party, this one should be at the top of your list just because it is Hellboy.
  
Insurgent (2015)
Insurgent (2015)
2015 | Action, Drama, Sci-Fi
Not as decent as 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘻𝘦 𝘙𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳, not as horrendous as 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘎𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴, on nearly exactly the same level as the first 𝘋𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵. I'm still shocked these still manage to be kind of entertaining even in spite of telling one of the dumbest stories to ever be translated to screen. At least half the cast just seems bored, but Jai Courtney and Daniel Dae Kim shine in supporting roles - which isn't all too hard to do here actually considering these two lead characters are inexplicably even *more* lifeless than they were in the first one. Great, we get to see more of this mid-2010s "trauma romance" crap - but at least they have the common decency to make the action sorta fun (the shameful choice to exchange Burger's visual panache [and... actual color] for this ugly ash-gray palette notwithstanding). And I'll always give credit to this one for being a lot ballsier than most of these YA copies-of-each-other - it's pretty violent and a fair amount of people get shot in the head, we even see more blood than just a nosebleed for once! Makes no human sense but that's also what makes it kind of enjoyable tbh. The Woodley character is the weakest link: emulating every overdramatic shithead teenager who thinks they're a revolutionary for making a Tweet about how much they hate 5th period geometry doesn't really help the cringe factor any (the 'dramatic haircut' smash cut into the flock of crows flying through the forest to triumphant music is one of the worst things ever). If this were made today Tris would be trying to cancel Kate Winslet's character for using the term "spirit animal" 11 years ago.
  
Stowaway (2021)
Stowaway (2021)
2021 | Drama, Sci-Fi, Thriller
5
5.0 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Physics of the spacecraft (0 more)
Script goes nowhere in particular (0 more)
Good physics but otherwise bland and forgettable
In "Stowaway", three astronauts - Commander Marina Bartlett (Toni Collette), doctor and scientist Zoe Levensen (Anna Kendrick) and scientist David Kim (Daniel Dae Kim) - have left earth on a mission to Mars. Bartlett is a bit surprised when she removes an overhead panel and technician Michael Adams (Shamier Anderson) falls out on her, injuring her arm.

This is problematic. The ship was designed for two (with the specs pushed for three - - ed: really???!). With oxygen levels depleting, the crew are left with some difficult decisions to make.

Positives:
- For once, I have no issues with the physics of this sci-fi movie! As a PhD physicist by training, you will generally hear me huffing and puffing in sci-fi movies about loud noises in space; implausible decompressions; and the like. But here, I really liked the design of the spaceship and its implementation of artificial gravity. No massive and wasteful 'wheel' construction as in "2001: A Space Odyssey" here. Just units on the ends of a sufficiently long tether to get the right G.
- Equally - again physics related - the 'climb' and 'descent' scenes are nicely executed.
- Toni Collette adds gravitas to the (otherwise OK) cast. Shamier Anderson is also good in his emotional scenes. And the ensemble works well enough together.

Negatives:
- The screenplay is so vanilla and linear in its storytelling that you could ask me what happened in this movie in six months time and I think I would struggle to answer. When the 'stowaway' was discovered, my mind went crazy with options: was he there by accident? (which I don't think can strictly be defined as a "stowaway"); had he smuggled himself on-board deliberately?; did he have nefarious intentions towards the crew or the mission?; when push came to shove, would the 'short-straw' candidate fight back? Literally NONE of this was explored. True that we have a "will they survive" story, as the oxygen depletes, but this has been done much better in films like "Apollo 13" (with CO2 instead of O2).
- Sorry. I've never been a fan of Anna Kendrick. She's fine in fluffier fare like "Pitch Perfect" and "A Simple Favor". But as the brave and all action heroine here, I didn't buy it.
- Why have Toni Collette in a movie if you are going to give her so little to do?

Summary Thoughts on "Stowaway":
I've seen a number of extremely positive reviews of this one, which I've found a bit mystifying. I really like Sci-fi films, and particularly space-based sci-fi flicks. But this was all very "meh" for me. The premise was full of potential, but failed to deliver on much of it.

(For the full graphical review, please check out the review on One Mann's Movies here https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2021/04/30/stowaway-bland-and-forgettable-sci-fi-fare/. Thanks.).
  
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
2021 | Animation, Family
In a magical land known as Kumandra; Humans and Dragons co-exist in harmony. When a threat in the form of creatures known as Druun arrive and threaten to destroy everything; the Dragons combine their power to defeat them but in doing so all but one of the Dragons remains.

In the new Disney animated film “Raya and the Last Dragon”; audiences are introduced to the narrative of the story by Raya (Kelly Marie Tran), who tells that the world has become fractured and she is to blame. A sacred relic that the Dragons used to Defeat the Druun has given her kingdom prosperity but the surrounding kingdoms all named after various parts of a Dragon are envious of their position.

When Raya’s father Chief Benja (Daniel Dae Kim); attempts to unite the other kingdoms, a tragic betrayal results in the relic becoming fractured with each kingdom taking a fragment. As if this situation was not bad enough; the fracturing of the relic ushers in the return of the Druun and they quickly resume turning everything not protected by a barrier of water to stone.

The story then jumps years into the future where Raya and her faithful companion Tuk Tuk (Alan TudyK) are searching the rivers of the kingdoms in an effort to find the location where the last Dragon Sisu (Awkwafina) is rumored to have been sleeping for 500 years.

Raya is eventually able to locate Sisu who is a very playful and animated creature and the two set off to save the day by obtaining the missing fragments through any means necessary. Naturally, their journey will be filled with dangers, adventure, and humor, as the various kingdoms have their own unique visual style and characters; some of whom join with Raya on her quest to provide much-needed support, perspective, and at times; humor.

The movie is visually amazing as the artists clearly were inspired to create a world that combines elements of many Asian cultures yet has its own unique traits. I marveled at the details of the water and ripples and how the railings on a boat showed uneven discoloration and wear in just a casual scene where the characters talked. It is this attention to detail that really adds to the magic of the film as well as the immersion into fantasy.

The supporting cast was great and there are some characters I do not wish to spoil who practically steals every scene in which they are in. My wife and I were captivated from the very start as Disney has created a film that embodies much of their classic themes and yet expands upon them to create a film the entire family will enjoy.

The movie will be released in cinemas and via a paid option for Disney+ subscribers. We attended a press screening at a cinema; our first in almost a year and found the setup to be very safe and it was amazing to see such visual splendor on a big screen.

Disney has once again created a new classic and has given audiences the magic that they are known for at a time when it is most needed.

4 stars out of 5.
  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Oh...hell, no!
HELLBOY?!? HELL NO!

I would imagine that about 90% of my readership just got what they needed out of my review with that first line and have moved on. For the rest of you, I will now explain why this reboot of HELLBOY is now the "leader in the clubhouse" for worst picture of 2019.

I was pleasantly surprised by the 2004 Guillermo del Toro helmed and written HELLBOY and was even more surprised by how good the del Toro written and helmed HELLBOY II: THE GOLD ARMY (2008) was. I think that this was because there was a driving force - and vision - from a true auteur and was a perfect combination of material and artistic staff - including Ron Perlman in the title role.

This version of HELLBOY has none of that. No vision, no driving force and a "B" performance by David Harbour in the title role. It feels like what it is - a cash grab. I blame the studio who produced this film - Summit Entertainment - for "going on the cheap" on this one.

First off, they tapped a "B Movie" Director, Neil Marshall to Direct this thing. He is known for such artistic successes as DOOMSDAY and THE DESCENT - horror flicks that were heavy on gore, short on characters and plot - and that is what he brought to this film. Why worry about characters, plot or any kind of engaging features (including Special FX) when you can show, yet again, a body getting torn apart and blood spurting all over the screen.

The studio also skimped on the performers. Instead of Perlman, Selma Blair, John Hurt and Doug Jones you get David Harbour, Daniel Dae Kim, Mila Jovovich and a sleep-walking, just give me my paycheck, Ian McShane. It's like watching the "road company" of a Broadway show. While the actors are game (with the notable exception of McShane), they are "B picture" actors, much like the Director.

And...much like the special FX. I knew, going in, that the early word on this film was not good, but that never stops me. I like to make up my own mind, so I thought I'd "pony up" for the IMAX experience to, at least, see the CGI and FX on as large a screen with as good a sound system as possible. I shouldn't have bothered, for the CGI and FX were mediocre (at best) and all the big screen and sound did was emphasize how low quality the CGI was.

And...finally...the pacing of this film is problematic, at best. This is certainly a film that was written and edited within an inch of it's life for the "short attention span" audience of today. The prevailing theory was "why linger on a plot or a character or a moment when we can quick cut to another body getting pulled in two and watch a plume of blood spurt out in a giant arc)."

There are 2 scenes in the end credits to set up the next film(s) in this series. Films that I seriously doubt will be made. If they are, I hope they pump some more money into the budget and get a creative team with some artistic vision.

A swing and a miss.

Letter Grade: C (and I'm being generous)

4 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
Show all 3 comments.
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BankofMarquis (1832 KP) Apr 15, 2019

They did everything "on the cheap" - too bad, they are squandering a good property

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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) Apr 16, 2019

Fantastic review, I'm going to see this tonight out of morbid curiosity.
My hope is that it's either surprisingly decent or it is absolute dogshit, I think if it's anywhere inbetween I'll come away disappointed.

Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
2021 | Animation, Family
Strong Animation and Voice Work overcome "Standard" Plot
One of the first films to be released (both in theaters and on-line) during the pandemic, RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON came and went quickly - certainly ignored in the movie theaters, and with very little fanfare on-line.

And that’s too bad for RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON is a fun, fantastical and visually rich tapestry that weaves together strong characters, a good lesson and enough action and comedy to keep young and old alike engaged throughout.

RAYA tells the story of the land of Kumandra, a realm that was inspired by Southeast Asian countries (such as Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia) a land that is split into 5 parts that each face the same threat, but instead of banding together to fight this threat, they are splintered and selfish and look out only for their own - with little to no regard of the consequences to others.

Sound familiar? While the film was imagined and realized before the pandemic, the themes of this film reverberate strongly in this post-pandemic world that we live in.

Into this world drops Raya who, when betrayed by one she sees as a friend, sets out on a quest to find the last dragon and unify the 5 lands. It’s a typical “quest film” but one that is told with such heart and charm - with strong voice characters and beautiful animation - that I was won over by it.

Kelly Marie Tran (Rose Tico in the latest STAR WARS trilogy) brings Raya’s voice to life and it is a one that is embodied with hope, naivete and strength and really makes you root for her character. The voice work by the likes of Gemma Chan (CRAZY, RICH ASIANS), Benedict Wong (DR. STRANGE), DANIEL DAE KIM (TV’s LOST) and Sandra OH (TV’s GREY’S ANATOMY) are all as equally strong and nuanced and draws you into each of their characters and the story.

And then there is Awkwafina (SHANG-CHI) as the voice of The Last Dragon - she is on another level. It is not hyperbole to say that this voicework/character is on a par with David Spade’s work as Kuzco in THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE and much like Spade, she ad-libbed much of her dialogue. It’s not quite at the level of Robin Williams in ALADDIN, but it’s in that ballpark - it is that good. This character makes or breaks this film and AWKWAFINA nails it - and makes the film.

This film is a “non-Musical” and I think that works well here. While this choice may turn off some families from viewing, this choice makes it a stronger film and is the right selection.

And then, there is the animation, which is even more impressive considering it was created from the animators in their homes during the pandemic. RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON is a visual feast, weaving imagery and beautifully animated scenes throughout - I applaud those that made this incredibly beautiful film under such adverse conditions, it is a triumph.

All-in-all RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON is well worth checking out, despite the plot being rather “standard”, the themes, characters, voice work and animation are all top notch - what one has come to expect from Disney Animation.

Letter Grade: A- (did I mention that the plot is rather “standard”)

8 Stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
This sort of soft reboot of Hellboy is a truly mixed bag. It's just about watchable, and there are some things I liked, and a whole heap of things I didn't like.

Let's start with the negatives - the absolute biggest problems with Hellboy is the editing and pacing.
The quick cuts and bizzarre transitions that happen often are incredibly jarring, and stops the narrative running smoothly for much of the duration.
It almost feels as if the film has been designed for someone who gets bored easily, and will shoehorn in a new scene before giving you the chance to take in the previous one.
It also plays havoc with a lot of the already mediocre (and sometimes cringe-worthy) script - a good example of this comes right at the beginning, as Hellboy is introduced us, searching for an MIA fellow agent.... Its here that Ian McShane's character explains to Hellboy over the phone, what this agent was doing when he went missing, only for Hellboy to himself repeat it to another character seconds later - it's weird and feels lazy.
Another issue is something I seem to complain about a lot recently - CGI. A lot of the CGI throughout is not great, and it's again, a complete mixed bag. Some of the practical effects look fine. The big demons glimpsed in the trailer look fine. And then everywhere else it just shits the bed, most glaringly when it comes to Ben Daimio, a character from the comics who should be an exciting inclusion, but is dragged down buy just how awful it looks.
Another thing I also disliked was the insistence of having 'cool' rock songs playing every two minutes, especially in fight scenes that would otherwise have been entertaining. At times, it felt like I was watching Suicide Squad all over again, which is never a good thing.
A lot of the acting throughout Hellboy is also stale and unenthused. Milla Jovovich is particularly uninspiring as The Blood Queen (a villain from the comics that never enthralled me in the first place), Daniel Dae Kim (Ben Daimio) and Sasha Lane (Alice Monaghan) just seem embarrassed to be involved at all.

This does bring me on to the things a liked about Hellboy though - David Harbour won me over pretty quickly as the titular half demon, he provides the movies sparse humour, and the make up work is great - he does his absolute best to hold it all together.
Ian McShane is good also, but come on, it's Ian McShane man.
Even if they aren't represented perfectly, I still liked seeing a lot of characters from the comic book, and my love for Lobster Johnson is strong.
The monster designs are pretty great for the most part, Baba Yaga looks skin crawling, and as I said, the big demons seen in the trailers are pretty horrifying.
The violence and gore is unfortunately, mostly CGI, but is pretty effective for the most part, even if it does feel like the movie is sometimes packing in an R rating to disguise the averageness of everything else.
As mentioned above, some of the action pieces are pretty fun, but I must say, the climax of the movie is pretty underwhelming.


I didn't find Hellboy as horrible as some people made it out to be - it's certainly not as good as the original two films (although I find the first one to be quite average as it is!) but it still has some credibility, even if it's a small amount.
Unfortunately, for every step Hellboy takes forward, it's takes two back, resulting in a messy and muddled film that struggles to find an identity, and it's reeks of studio meddling.

Still though, Big Mo Harris shooting an Uzi is always a pleasure 👍
  
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Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies

Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Sep 25, 2019)  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Open, black and white apart from Nimue's red dress.
Production notes: Try and make it noir-esque, but we need it done quickly so don't be too bothered by any of the class that goes with it.

As openings go it summed up the backstory quite nicely and Ian McShane's voiceover was good, but despite all of that it wasn't saved from it being quite badly shot.

I didn't want to start this review by moaning, but it's nearly impossible as there's a lot to moan about. I think I'm going to get it all out of the way now and then move on.

That CGI... at one point I wrote down that it was Harry Potter bad, I'm talking Voldemort on the back of the head bad. I'm trying to think of an obvious effect where it was actually good but I'm drawing a blank. Gruagach, our pig-demon-thing, looked like he was wearing a Halloween mask, but had it been real life I suspect it would look better.

Generally the creature effects are terrible, I was briefly hopeful for the giants but then the fight started and things got progressively worse. The blood was a particularly bad offering. I was particularly annoyed with this scene because the bits where Hellboy is thrown around were actually quite good and with a little work it could have been amazing.

Major Ben Daimio, played by Daniel Dae Kim, also got some punishing CGI for his transformation, unfortunately the negativity doesn't stop there. I just couldn't understand what that accent was about... I just... what the... ugh.

He's not the only character that's treated badly. Alice has so much potential in her but it isn't until the end that she discovers what she's really capable of. I can't help but think that they could have used her more to boost the movie.

David Harbour as Hellboy doesn't have me convinced. he's got the laid back attitude and some of the banter that the part needs, but there was a spark missing for me. Perhaps he was slightly more horizontal than laid back.

Quite possibly the best scene in the movie is right at the end when we see the group back together briefly. This scene was so well done that I was a little irritated they didn't manage to replicate that earlier in the film.

Hellboy is probably too long, there are definitely pieces to cut out. As much as I love her, Big Mo has to go, I'd also cut out Baba Yaga. The effects were overly creepy and the scenes added hardly anything apart from what felt like an obvious set up for a sequel.

The story overall isn't that bad, I like the origin of Hellboy, although baby Hellboy felt a lot like they'd taken the Ally McBeal baby and painted it red. I also liked the fact that they didn't let him instantly take the easy route to victory, that really worked in his favour.

I've realised at this point that I haven't really mentioned Nimue. She's one of the main villains, I probably should have talked about her by now but apart from the assembly scene she's not overly memorable, much like most of the other bad guys.

As a last passing note I want to mention the music. I noticed it a lot and it was frequently very good, it certainly helped the transition scenes. I probably would have turned the volume down a bit, but it was a great selection so I don't think it's too much of a problem.

I should probably stop waffling at this point. Despite what has amounted to a lot of moaning and griping Hellboy wasn't a waste of my time. I know lots of you are going to disagree with me on that point. To be entertaining given all of those faults I nitpicked was a great achievement. It delivers on daft action and sometimes that's all I need to have an amusing time at the cinema. We probably just need to keep our fingers crossed for better effects if they come out with a sequel.

What you should do

I would go and see it at the cinema if I were you. If you can get past the fact it isn't Ron Perlman and there's a severe lack of kittens then you're bound to have some fun.

Movie thing you wish you could take home

Some spirit powers would be quite fun, minus the vomiting part.
  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Entertaining Hell Yes, Great Hell No
Hellboy is a 2019 supernatural superhero movie based on the Dark Horse Comics character created by Mike Mignola. It is the third film in the franchise and is also a reboot of the series. It is directed by Neil Marshall with screenplay by Andrew Cosby and distributed by Lionsgate. The film stars David Harbour, Millar Jovovich, Ian McShane and Daniel Dae Kim.


In the Dark Ages, Nimue, the Blood Queen, nearly destroyed humanity with a deadly plague. Immortal, she was only defeated by King Arthur with the help of Merlin and the magical blade Excalibur. She was beheaded, dismembered, and her remains scattered over Europe. In present day Tijuana, Hellboy (David Harbour), searches for a missing B.P.R.D. agent, Ruiz. Hellboy discovers Ruiz has been turned into a vampire and while trying to reason with him, Hellboy is forced into a confrontation which ultimately leads to the death of the agent. Meanwhile a mysterious person speaks with Baba Yaga, a witch-like creature, seeking revenge on Hellboy, and is told to locate the remains of Nimue and resurrect her.


This has been a really hard movie for me to review. I genuinely enjoyed it while watching it in theaters. That being said, this movie is a train wreck and I can't recommend for people to spend money to see it unless you wait for it to be at the dollar movies or Redbox. There were just so many things that I guess I was blind to while watching it, that i just shrugged off or didn't pay much attention to. Like all my reviews this will be as spoiler free as possible but i have to acknowledge major flaws that other critics and reviewers brought up. And there were a lot, I mean right now the critics are tearing this movie a new one. First, I thought David Harbour did as good a job as anyone could do replacing Ron Pearlman as Hellboy in this film. But replacing such a beloved and likeable character with a funny and charismatic personality which Pearlman made his own, he had his work cut out for him. I don't think he's ever acted with all the makeup and prosthetics and it showed because I don't think he was as expressive as he could have been. Plus this movie was also made with a different director and not Guillermo Del Toro, so it was already going to have a way different feel to it. To me though, those weren't the things that contributed the most to the failure of this movie, it's more of the other things I'm still getting to. This was a reboot of the series and they decided to go with a different group of supporting characters, and to also make the plot or story more closely related or similar to the comics (the source material). Now usually sticking with what the comics have for the story is always better than changing it in my opinion but it seems for this film that they chose to incorporate several different storylines and characters and felt like it was too much crammed into too little. Also this movie was all over the place, story wise and literally. It seemed the characters kept having to travel unnecessarily. It felt like the supporting characters were just thrown into the story and it didn't bother to introduce them to the audience correctly. Everyone just got a flashback and or had themselves or their origin "expositioned" into the movie. I liked a lot of the character designs and thought a lot of the CGI was well done, in places, however it seems like they had different animators or studios work on different scenes or characters and some of it was horrible. The dialogue was really bad too. There were a lot of jokes and one liners that just fell flat and nobody laughed, plus like i said way too much exposition. There was a character who wears a headdress that was so big it looked ridiculous, which I wonder if it was done on purpose. And there was a character whose clothes tear when they transform and they automatically have pants when they transform back, which makes no sense. The plot too was not very sound and full of plot holes and things that didn't make sense, were just added in, or were part of scenes that got cut along the way. It hurts me to give this movie a score so low but I give this movie a 5/10.


Now I'm not saying don't watch it. I just can't recommend you drop as much cash as you usually do to see it in theaters. I personally still really enjoyed it and was genuinely entertained. It was awesome to see the blood and gore in a darker Hellboy movie and the action was great even if the CGI always wasn't. The music even if it didn't fit the tone or every scene was great. If your expecting the Hellboy from the Guillermo Del Toro films you might just hate this movie. But if you're just looking for "Big Red" to beat up on some baddies then I think you might get a kick out of this movie. Hey, some critics are saying that it's so bad it's good.
  
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies

Apr 17, 2019 (Updated Apr 17, 2019)  
Hellboy (2019)
Hellboy (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
The script (4 more)
The CGI
The editing
The performances
Everything else
Actual Hell
If the Hellboy 2019 movie has one thing going for it, it's that it's impressive. It is impressive in the sense that it actually made me question the futility of time and why I was wasting my short time on this earth watching this atrocious piece of trash. There were several times when I was watching the film that I actually couldn't bring myself to believe how bad what I was witnessing onscreen really was. This might be the worst film I have ever seen.

It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.

Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.

The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.

Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.

I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.

The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.

Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.