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Gareth von Kallenbach (968 KP) rated The Burning Dead (2015) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
So, If you’re on the east coast you’re no doubt experiencing the unusually harsh ‘arctic waves’. If you’re on the west coast you have to deal with the unseasonably warm weather.
Whether it’s trying to stay warm and keep the fires burning or finding the shade and a cool beverage, either you or someone you know is going to bring up the following idea ‘ … B-Movie Horror Marathon’.
Today we’ve got a prime candidate for just such a marathon. ‘The Burning Dead’ staring the legendary Danny Trejo! Now, When I describe a B-movie of the horror genre, I’m not talking about legendary franchises like ‘Friday The 13th’ or ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’. No no no no no. I’m talking about a movie worthy of getting critiqued by the original crew of ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’. Something like an episode of the ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ T.V. show minus the awesome cast, a smaller budget, questionable computer-generated special effects, and no Joss Whedon at the helm. This movie isn’t without merit though. I mean c’mon. It’s got Danny Trejo in it so it definitely deserves a shot right?!
‘The Burning Dead’ stars Danny Trejo, Thomas Downey, Adam Gregor, Nicole Cummins, Moniqua Plante, Julia Lehman, Robert F. Lyons, Kyle T. Heffner, Kevin Norman, and Jenny Lin.
Our story opens with the Native American warrior Night Wolf (Trejo) and several members
of his family gathered around the campfire as he begins to share the tale the infamous ‘Donner Party’ and the madness that engulfed the early settlers was caused by an evil spirit that resided in the nearby mountain after defeating a ‘good spirit’ many years early. Fast forward to present day, Sheriff Denton is supervising the evacuation of a town in the shadow of the mountain after it begins to show signs of an impending eruption. Little do he and the townspeople know that
there will not only be a volcanic eruption, but the evil spirit residing within will unleash a horde of flesh-eating zombies that spit hot lava and ravage everything in their path!
Yeah yeah. I little too dramatic I know. I gotta give it some credit though. The actors and actresses do give a great performance under the circumstances attempting to be as serious as possible and the ‘lava zombie’ effects are quite well done considering. When the zombies ‘go to work’ there’s a definite ick factor too. Certainly not ‘Walking Dead’ gross but they get the point across. The soundtrack is almost annoying though as its the same track or variations of on a loop over and over again. I think from time to time, the writers may have consulted the ‘scary movie’ handbook because at one point, they do throw in hot chic who randomly shows up at the mountain during the evacuation, sets up a camera in front of the volcano and proceeds to strip while the camera is photographing the mountain in auto. We all know what happens to the ‘hot chic’ in a scary flick that strips down to her underwear or more yes? Predictable but mildly entertaining.
Honestly, I was expecting and hoping to see Trejo show up a lot more in the movie and kick some bad guy ass or in this case, some zombie ass. I think how I described it earlier is the best way to sum it up, ‘ It’s like a really bad episode of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer ‘ minus the cast and character line up and no Joss Whedon at the helm. I’m giving it 2 out of 5 stars. This one just barely scrapes by. Definitely NOT one for the kids. Don’t waste your money on seeing it in theaters. Take my advice, and add it to the lineup for a B-Movie Horror marathon at home.
Sorry Danny … You just barely saved this one.
Whether it’s trying to stay warm and keep the fires burning or finding the shade and a cool beverage, either you or someone you know is going to bring up the following idea ‘ … B-Movie Horror Marathon’.
Today we’ve got a prime candidate for just such a marathon. ‘The Burning Dead’ staring the legendary Danny Trejo! Now, When I describe a B-movie of the horror genre, I’m not talking about legendary franchises like ‘Friday The 13th’ or ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’. No no no no no. I’m talking about a movie worthy of getting critiqued by the original crew of ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’. Something like an episode of the ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ T.V. show minus the awesome cast, a smaller budget, questionable computer-generated special effects, and no Joss Whedon at the helm. This movie isn’t without merit though. I mean c’mon. It’s got Danny Trejo in it so it definitely deserves a shot right?!
‘The Burning Dead’ stars Danny Trejo, Thomas Downey, Adam Gregor, Nicole Cummins, Moniqua Plante, Julia Lehman, Robert F. Lyons, Kyle T. Heffner, Kevin Norman, and Jenny Lin.
Our story opens with the Native American warrior Night Wolf (Trejo) and several members
of his family gathered around the campfire as he begins to share the tale the infamous ‘Donner Party’ and the madness that engulfed the early settlers was caused by an evil spirit that resided in the nearby mountain after defeating a ‘good spirit’ many years early. Fast forward to present day, Sheriff Denton is supervising the evacuation of a town in the shadow of the mountain after it begins to show signs of an impending eruption. Little do he and the townspeople know that
there will not only be a volcanic eruption, but the evil spirit residing within will unleash a horde of flesh-eating zombies that spit hot lava and ravage everything in their path!
Yeah yeah. I little too dramatic I know. I gotta give it some credit though. The actors and actresses do give a great performance under the circumstances attempting to be as serious as possible and the ‘lava zombie’ effects are quite well done considering. When the zombies ‘go to work’ there’s a definite ick factor too. Certainly not ‘Walking Dead’ gross but they get the point across. The soundtrack is almost annoying though as its the same track or variations of on a loop over and over again. I think from time to time, the writers may have consulted the ‘scary movie’ handbook because at one point, they do throw in hot chic who randomly shows up at the mountain during the evacuation, sets up a camera in front of the volcano and proceeds to strip while the camera is photographing the mountain in auto. We all know what happens to the ‘hot chic’ in a scary flick that strips down to her underwear or more yes? Predictable but mildly entertaining.
Honestly, I was expecting and hoping to see Trejo show up a lot more in the movie and kick some bad guy ass or in this case, some zombie ass. I think how I described it earlier is the best way to sum it up, ‘ It’s like a really bad episode of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer ‘ minus the cast and character line up and no Joss Whedon at the helm. I’m giving it 2 out of 5 stars. This one just barely scrapes by. Definitely NOT one for the kids. Don’t waste your money on seeing it in theaters. Take my advice, and add it to the lineup for a B-Movie Horror marathon at home.
Sorry Danny … You just barely saved this one.
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Machete (2010) in Movies
Jul 27, 2020
B-Movie Exploitation Film
Machete- is a intresting B-Movie Exploitation action film. I like how Machete was in Spy Kids and that film was PG and now this film is R. Just like how he want easy and really did no killing in spy kids and in this one is full blooded revenge person.
Instead, during the filming of Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse, Rodriguez shot lobby cards and sequences from parts of the original script in 2006 for a fake trailer featuring Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, and Jeff Fahey.
Jessica Alba won a Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress, along with her other roles in The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers and Valentine's Day.
The plot: After nearly being killed during a violent fight with a powerful drug lord, a former Mexican Federale known as Machete (Danny Trejo) roams Texas streets as a vigilante and sometime day-laborer. Hired to perform a covert hit, he is double-crossed and forced to go on the run. Machete may be down, but not out, and he carves a path of blood, bullets and broken hearts in his quest to settle the score.
The supporting cast is intresting and never thought that this people would work together. For Example Steven Seagal, Linsday Lohan, Don Johnson and Robert De Niro all working together. Never thought that any of these people would work together. Well i could see Don Johnson and Robert De Niro working together. But the rest, nope. But it did and it actually worked really well.
Its a fun action B-Movie exploitation film.
Instead, during the filming of Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse, Rodriguez shot lobby cards and sequences from parts of the original script in 2006 for a fake trailer featuring Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, and Jeff Fahey.
Jessica Alba won a Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actress, along with her other roles in The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers and Valentine's Day.
The plot: After nearly being killed during a violent fight with a powerful drug lord, a former Mexican Federale known as Machete (Danny Trejo) roams Texas streets as a vigilante and sometime day-laborer. Hired to perform a covert hit, he is double-crossed and forced to go on the run. Machete may be down, but not out, and he carves a path of blood, bullets and broken hearts in his quest to settle the score.
The supporting cast is intresting and never thought that this people would work together. For Example Steven Seagal, Linsday Lohan, Don Johnson and Robert De Niro all working together. Never thought that any of these people would work together. Well i could see Don Johnson and Robert De Niro working together. But the rest, nope. But it did and it actually worked really well.
Its a fun action B-Movie exploitation film.
Sons of Anarchy - Season 4
9.0
Rate It
TV Season
The fourth season of the American television drama series Sons of Anarchy premiered on September 6,...
Sons of Anarchy - Season 5
TV Season
The fifth season of the American television drama series Sons of Anarchy premiered on September 11,...
The Replacement Killers (1998)
7.0
Rate It
Movie Watch
International superstar Chow Yun-Fat (John Woo's Hard-Boiled) makes his Hollywood debut with Oscar®...
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Machete Kills (2013) in Movies
Jul 27, 2020
B-Movie Exloitation Film
Like I said in my Machete review, its so weird and odd to see some of these actors working together, cause you would never think in a million years that some of these people would work together like.. Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Walton Goggins, Lady Gaga, Cuba Gooding Jr., Antoino Banderas and Vanesssa Hudgens. Like would ever thought that all of these actors would work together in a B-Movie Exploitation film called Machete Kills is just strange and somehow it works. I dont how, but it just works.
The plot: When the president (Carlos Estevez) of the United States has a mission that would be impossible for just any mortal man, the person he needs is Machete (Danny Trejo), a knife-wielding ex-Federale agent. Machete's mission is to take down Voz (Mel Gibson), a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has come up with a plot to start a nuclear war. Facing death at every turn from assassins, Machete pulls out all of his skills to get the job done.
If you havent see either of the machete movies go watch them.
The plot: When the president (Carlos Estevez) of the United States has a mission that would be impossible for just any mortal man, the person he needs is Machete (Danny Trejo), a knife-wielding ex-Federale agent. Machete's mission is to take down Voz (Mel Gibson), a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has come up with a plot to start a nuclear war. Facing death at every turn from assassins, Machete pulls out all of his skills to get the job done.
If you havent see either of the machete movies go watch them.
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) in Movies
Aug 15, 2020
Isabela Moner (2 more)
Eva Longoria
Micheal Peña
One-Two songs were annoying (1 more)
Not Enough of Swiper. He seemed like a pointless charcter.
Swiper No Swipe
Dora and the Lost City of Gold- does remind me of the tv series with the songs, Dora talking to the audience, Boots, Diego, and the Map. Its funny, cute, adventurist and action-e.
The plot: Having spent most of her life exploring the jungle, nothing could prepare Dora for her most dangerous adventure yet -- high school. Accompanied by a ragtag group of teens and Boots the monkey, Dora embarks on a quest to save her parents while trying to solve the seemingly impossible mystery behind a lost Incan civilization.
I know people were annoyed by the songs and that their were to many of them. I wasnt to annoyed of them, expect for one of them. I only counted like 4 or 5 songs, maybe their were more but as i remember that was the tv series, the songs were are apart the series and this movie was trying to replicate the series and it did do a good job at that.
I like how Danny Trejo voiced Boots and Benico Del Toro voiced Swiper.
If you liked the tv series than you will like this movie. Its for the whole family.
The plot: Having spent most of her life exploring the jungle, nothing could prepare Dora for her most dangerous adventure yet -- high school. Accompanied by a ragtag group of teens and Boots the monkey, Dora embarks on a quest to save her parents while trying to solve the seemingly impossible mystery behind a lost Incan civilization.
I know people were annoyed by the songs and that their were to many of them. I wasnt to annoyed of them, expect for one of them. I only counted like 4 or 5 songs, maybe their were more but as i remember that was the tv series, the songs were are apart the series and this movie was trying to replicate the series and it did do a good job at that.
I like how Danny Trejo voiced Boots and Benico Del Toro voiced Swiper.
If you liked the tv series than you will like this movie. Its for the whole family.
LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Planet Terror (2007) in Movies
Jan 22, 2021
If you seek a movie so absurdly over the top in almost every regard, then look no further.
Planet Terror is a glorious throwback to practical driven and blood soaked video nasties of the 70s and 80s, is super stylized to the point of self aware stupidity, and boasts a fantastic cast - a roll call of who's who in the cinema of Rodriguez/Tarantino.
Of course, Planet Terror is one half of the duos Grindhouse project, and for me, slightly takes the edge over Death Proof. Both films are great and gleefully brimming with tributes to the exploitative sub genre of its namesake, but Planet Terror is just balls to the wall fun, a blast from start to finish.
Its has badass female leads - Cherry Darling, a former go-go dancer with a gun-leg, and Dakota Block, a nurse who shoots trigger functioning syringes full of sedatives at anyone who pisses her off - Rose McGowan and Marley Shelton and both brilliant.
It has Bruce Willis mutating into God knows what. It has Tom Savini and Michael Biehn as zombie fighting sherrifs. It has Sayid from Lost collecting people's testicles in a pickle jar.
And Jesus Christ it has so. much. gore. It must have been a hell of a sticky set to work on to say the least.
To top it all off, it even opens with the now infamous Machete "trailer", with Danny Trejo and motherfucking Cheech Marin.
Planet Terror is a ride as soon as the opening credits start. An absolute must for any horror or grindhouse fan.
Planet Terror is a glorious throwback to practical driven and blood soaked video nasties of the 70s and 80s, is super stylized to the point of self aware stupidity, and boasts a fantastic cast - a roll call of who's who in the cinema of Rodriguez/Tarantino.
Of course, Planet Terror is one half of the duos Grindhouse project, and for me, slightly takes the edge over Death Proof. Both films are great and gleefully brimming with tributes to the exploitative sub genre of its namesake, but Planet Terror is just balls to the wall fun, a blast from start to finish.
Its has badass female leads - Cherry Darling, a former go-go dancer with a gun-leg, and Dakota Block, a nurse who shoots trigger functioning syringes full of sedatives at anyone who pisses her off - Rose McGowan and Marley Shelton and both brilliant.
It has Bruce Willis mutating into God knows what. It has Tom Savini and Michael Biehn as zombie fighting sherrifs. It has Sayid from Lost collecting people's testicles in a pickle jar.
And Jesus Christ it has so. much. gore. It must have been a hell of a sticky set to work on to say the least.
To top it all off, it even opens with the now infamous Machete "trailer", with Danny Trejo and motherfucking Cheech Marin.
Planet Terror is a ride as soon as the opening credits start. An absolute must for any horror or grindhouse fan.
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Machete (2010) in Movies
Jan 19, 2018
Fun Watch
Machete was a bit of a miss for me. I understood the direction that directors Ethan Maniquis and Robert Rodriguez were heading for. I just didn't quite...get it. As a salesperson, I'm taught to push the "why", not the "how". For me, the "why" of this film left a lot to be desired.
It's not that I didn't like Machete, rather it didn't hook me. Half cheesy action film, half telenovela, it definitely has some shining moments. Danny Trejo (Machete) plays a tough badass as he does in most films. His hardcore attitude makes him instantly lovable and they give him more attitude than ever in this role. Not only does he destroy a lot of tough guys, he manages to find time to slay the ladies as well. Oh yes, the ladies love Machete and Machete loves the ladies.
Props to Robert De Niro as well in his role as The Senator. Hearing his country accent makes you almost forgot this was the same guy that said, "You talkin' to me?" (Taxi Driver is on my list for this October!). You're supposed to hate him as he plays a villain, but you can't help but love him at the same time.
A handful of action sequences left me with raised eyebrows. My favorite in particular was Cheech Marin in the church with the double shotgun action. Talk about money!
Fun movie and worth at least one watch. Seeing Machete seek revenge on The Senator after being double-crossed (the plot) managed to keep me entertained but not quite jumping-for-joy excited. I give it a solid 76.
It's not that I didn't like Machete, rather it didn't hook me. Half cheesy action film, half telenovela, it definitely has some shining moments. Danny Trejo (Machete) plays a tough badass as he does in most films. His hardcore attitude makes him instantly lovable and they give him more attitude than ever in this role. Not only does he destroy a lot of tough guys, he manages to find time to slay the ladies as well. Oh yes, the ladies love Machete and Machete loves the ladies.
Props to Robert De Niro as well in his role as The Senator. Hearing his country accent makes you almost forgot this was the same guy that said, "You talkin' to me?" (Taxi Driver is on my list for this October!). You're supposed to hate him as he plays a villain, but you can't help but love him at the same time.
A handful of action sequences left me with raised eyebrows. My favorite in particular was Cheech Marin in the church with the double shotgun action. Talk about money!
Fun movie and worth at least one watch. Seeing Machete seek revenge on The Senator after being double-crossed (the plot) managed to keep me entertained but not quite jumping-for-joy excited. I give it a solid 76.
LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Halloween (2007) in Movies
Jun 3, 2021
The original Halloween is such a goddam incredible movie, that anytime the franchise has tried to stray too far from its roots, the wheels just come off. The psychic stuff in Halloween 5 just didn't work. The cult stuff in Halloween 6 just didn't work. The found footage stuff in Resurrection just didn't work. This time around, it's a remake of the original, directed by Rob Zombie. His particular brand of hateful characters and nasty dialogue can be effective in other corners of horror, but when applied to the Halloween template, you guessed it, it just doesn't work.
It has its moments - Malcolm McDowell is great as Dr Loomis, and the towering behemoth of a Michael Myers we get her is genuinely fucking terrifying. There's also a fine selection of genre icons here and there - Dee Wallace, Brad Dourif, Clint Howard, Ken Foree, Sybil Danning, Bill Moseley, Sid Haig, Danny Trejo, Danielle Harris - it's an impressive roster for sure.
All of this isn't enough to lift this remake above all of its problems however.
None of the characters are particularly likable, and it's off pacing make for a bloated experience, an issue that's further exacerbated by the more widely available Directors Cut, which further pans out its runtime with an horrifically unnecessary rape scene.
I can appreciate the decision to explore the origins of Michael, but the end results are very mixed. When the familiar stuff kicks off halfway through, it's actually kind of boring. It manages to ape the original at every turn, whilst simultaneously feeling disrespectful with it's token RZ tropes.
All in all, Halloween is a remake that I wouldn't take issue with, but the decision to put Zombie in the driver's seat results in a movie that doesn't feel like it belongs anywhere. An inferior re-tread in every aspect, that leaves a bitter after taste.
It has its moments - Malcolm McDowell is great as Dr Loomis, and the towering behemoth of a Michael Myers we get her is genuinely fucking terrifying. There's also a fine selection of genre icons here and there - Dee Wallace, Brad Dourif, Clint Howard, Ken Foree, Sybil Danning, Bill Moseley, Sid Haig, Danny Trejo, Danielle Harris - it's an impressive roster for sure.
All of this isn't enough to lift this remake above all of its problems however.
None of the characters are particularly likable, and it's off pacing make for a bloated experience, an issue that's further exacerbated by the more widely available Directors Cut, which further pans out its runtime with an horrifically unnecessary rape scene.
I can appreciate the decision to explore the origins of Michael, but the end results are very mixed. When the familiar stuff kicks off halfway through, it's actually kind of boring. It manages to ape the original at every turn, whilst simultaneously feeling disrespectful with it's token RZ tropes.
All in all, Halloween is a remake that I wouldn't take issue with, but the decision to put Zombie in the driver's seat results in a movie that doesn't feel like it belongs anywhere. An inferior re-tread in every aspect, that leaves a bitter after taste.