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Debbiereadsbook (1202 KP) rated Charisma Check (Dungeons and Dating #6) in Books
May 27, 2023
saved the best til last, I reckon!
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted my copy of this book.
This is the final book in the Dungeons and Dating series, and I strongly recommend you read all 5 books previous to this one. Not strictly necessary, but it will give you a better view of Jasper, and how he is with everyone else, and of this amazing group of people. And you know, cos I SAID SO!
Jasper doesn't do commitment, he thinks he's too broken. So crushing after the straight owner of his fav cafe is a safe bet, cos ain't nothing gonna happen. Then, though, Matt turns up at a shibari lesson and is paired with Jasper. Which sets off all sorts of chain reactions from the both of them.
Oh Jasper, Jasper Jasper! I've been waiting, so very impatiently for Jasper to tell his tale, cos all through the other books, he SAYS he's happy with his lot, not having to commit to anyone, just hooking up as and when, but deep down, DEEP down, Jasper needed someone to love him. It comes out in all the other books, and here? Oh my days!
Jasper has crushed on Matt for a couple of years and while Matt looked forward to seeing Jasper every day, he was straight and in a relationship. Then that ends, the lesson occurs and Matt begins to question everything about his previous relationships and why they didn't work. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't that he needed to be more dominant, like all the girlfriends asked for, but the opposite?
Loved the progression of Matt and Jasper, how well they fit together and moved things along. Jasper was always gonna say yes to Matt, but Matt wasn't sure what he was asking for, til Jasper said or did JUST what Matt needed. And I loved that, while there was some questioning of his sexual preferences by Matt, once he decided that he'd had it all wrong, he was ALL in with Jasper.
But then, Jasper does what he does and I was reading in bed, and I must have said out loud, "oh Jasper, you IDIOT!" cos my partner was, who is Jasper and what has he done?? And I rarely react verbally when reading, so it shows how powerfully what he did affected me, let alone Matt!
And then, against Jasper and Matt's story, we have the Tabletop tavern and what's happening there. Granted, Jasper leaves it late, but once he gets his head out his ass and goes to war, they pull that off wonderfully!
So, now, I'm sad. I'm sad cos all these wonderful people are partnered up and I am so going to miss them! There are lots of people here, with the battle to save the buildings from developers, people I don't recall meeting before. People with interesting hints about and I wonder if we'll get a follow up? I'd love one!
So, 6 books, 5 of those are 5 star reads, and one slipping to 4, but a series I strongly recommend.
5 full and shiny, but kinda sad, stars
*same worded review will appear elsewhere
This is the final book in the Dungeons and Dating series, and I strongly recommend you read all 5 books previous to this one. Not strictly necessary, but it will give you a better view of Jasper, and how he is with everyone else, and of this amazing group of people. And you know, cos I SAID SO!
Jasper doesn't do commitment, he thinks he's too broken. So crushing after the straight owner of his fav cafe is a safe bet, cos ain't nothing gonna happen. Then, though, Matt turns up at a shibari lesson and is paired with Jasper. Which sets off all sorts of chain reactions from the both of them.
Oh Jasper, Jasper Jasper! I've been waiting, so very impatiently for Jasper to tell his tale, cos all through the other books, he SAYS he's happy with his lot, not having to commit to anyone, just hooking up as and when, but deep down, DEEP down, Jasper needed someone to love him. It comes out in all the other books, and here? Oh my days!
Jasper has crushed on Matt for a couple of years and while Matt looked forward to seeing Jasper every day, he was straight and in a relationship. Then that ends, the lesson occurs and Matt begins to question everything about his previous relationships and why they didn't work. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't that he needed to be more dominant, like all the girlfriends asked for, but the opposite?
Loved the progression of Matt and Jasper, how well they fit together and moved things along. Jasper was always gonna say yes to Matt, but Matt wasn't sure what he was asking for, til Jasper said or did JUST what Matt needed. And I loved that, while there was some questioning of his sexual preferences by Matt, once he decided that he'd had it all wrong, he was ALL in with Jasper.
But then, Jasper does what he does and I was reading in bed, and I must have said out loud, "oh Jasper, you IDIOT!" cos my partner was, who is Jasper and what has he done?? And I rarely react verbally when reading, so it shows how powerfully what he did affected me, let alone Matt!
And then, against Jasper and Matt's story, we have the Tabletop tavern and what's happening there. Granted, Jasper leaves it late, but once he gets his head out his ass and goes to war, they pull that off wonderfully!
So, now, I'm sad. I'm sad cos all these wonderful people are partnered up and I am so going to miss them! There are lots of people here, with the battle to save the buildings from developers, people I don't recall meeting before. People with interesting hints about and I wonder if we'll get a follow up? I'd love one!
So, 6 books, 5 of those are 5 star reads, and one slipping to 4, but a series I strongly recommend.
5 full and shiny, but kinda sad, stars
*same worded review will appear elsewhere
Planet of Heroes - Brawl MOBA
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Looking for an exciting real time war game for smartphones? Welcome to Planet of Heroes: stunning...
Paul Kellett (118 KP) rated Fallen Land: A Post Apocalyptic Board Game in Tabletop Games
May 9, 2019
Great theme, very immersive (2 more)
Solo playable
Plenty of replayability
A bit fiddly to keep track of things (1 more)
A lot of little rules to remember
An Immersive Post Apocalyptic survival game
I don't know where I was when this launched on Kickstarter, but it totally passed me by until I started seeing a few posts on Facebook groups a couple of weeks ago. My interest was piqued and after watching a few videos and reading the reviews here, I took the plunge and ordered it from Fallen Dominion Studios. I got the base came and the expansion which adds more cards, rules for an epic 6 player game as well as 2 solo variants. Delivery to the UK was super quick, about 10 days and the shipping price was good.
On first opening the box, you are greeted with a few punchboards, the game board and a ton of cards, there is a lot contained in such a small box.
After punching and organising everything, I read the rules, painted the little plastic faction tokens and made some character inventory sleeves to help keep the play area neat.
The rules are really well written and easy to follow & understand with plenty of examples and pictures. there is a helpful index on the inside back page so you can quickly find anything you need mid-game.
The first solo variant is basically just a "reach the victory point win in as few turns as possible" - a great way to quickly learn the basics of the game and very enjoyable. It will be good if you just want to play a fairly quick (60-90 minute) survival/exploration game.
The second solo rule set is where the game really kicks into high gear. You choose a number of opponent factions depending on how much of a challenge you want and during the Town Business Phase, roll a D10 for each faction, comparing the result to a chart in the book to see what each faction does. these results can boost each faction up one or both of the victory point tracks (getting to the top of either one is a win) or more importantly, initiating PvP combat against your faction.
While this is still not the same as playing against real opponents, it offers a great challenge that will test your luck and skill to beat.
So what sets this game out as a solo gem? It's one of the most immersive games I've played. It's part open-world survival boardgame, part rpg and part story book.
You are the leader of a faction of survivors following a devastating war that destroyed the US leaving pockets of survivors trying to eke out a living among the radioactive ruins. As you make your way around the map, trying to secure vital resources or checking out points of interest, you will be drawing encounter cards and trying to complete them.
You control a team of 5 characters plus a vehicle if you are lucky and start the game with 10 items (from assault rifles to baseball bats, med kits to body armour and everything in between) which you can equip to each character any way you see fit. Some characters will get a bonus if they have certain items and some items can grant boosts to your entire party.
Here is where the RPG feel comes in. Each character and Item has a row of skill attribute boxes along the bottom edge of the card with skills such as Combat, Survival, Medical, Mechanics and Diplomacy. Your character card has a maximum carrying capacity and each item a weight so your character can only carry a certain number of items.
Skill checks are simple, you add up the total values in each attribute column of your character plus his/her equipment. Every 10 is an automatic success. Then you roll a D10 and must roll equal to or lower than the unit value. So, if your combat total is 14, then you get 1 success for the 10 and then must roll 4 or less to get a second success. This makes equipping items very important as not only do you want your skills to be as high as possible, it's often preferable to store an item for later if it would result in a lower unit thus making the die roll harder.
On to the encounters. There are a lot of them. Seriously, loads and each one on them has a mini story delving into another aspect of life after 'the war'. These add so much to the feeling of being immersed in a full world and are varied and well written. Each encounter will list a series of skill checks and the number of successes you need to pass. This is Ameritrash at it's finest Read a story, roll a bunch of dice and the deal with the outcome. A successful result will see you off with a new stash of items, victory points or maybe even new characters you can rotate into your team to replace injured members or just improve your chances with better skills.
There is so much in this game, the sheer number of cards is immense. the replayability is sky high as you will never see everything this game can offer. There are character combinations that complement each other if used together (what are the chances of drawing a husband and his wife together out of a deck of over 100 cards?), locations and storylines that trigger bonus effects if you have the right gear and 10 different factions each with their own skills and bonuses.
This game is certainly not for everyone - if you don't like luck-based games then you might not enjoy the amount of dice rolling and card drawing in Fallen Land.
The art is also divisive. It's very stylized and cartoony but it works with the feel of the game. It's not a pretty experience, everything is broken and destroyed, it's a harsh, Mad Max world of brutal survival and the art on the cards kind of fits this feel and to be honest, most of it ends up covered up and you concentrate more on reading the stories and trying to survive.
All in all a great so experience and a fantastic, brutal multiplayer game.
On first opening the box, you are greeted with a few punchboards, the game board and a ton of cards, there is a lot contained in such a small box.
After punching and organising everything, I read the rules, painted the little plastic faction tokens and made some character inventory sleeves to help keep the play area neat.
The rules are really well written and easy to follow & understand with plenty of examples and pictures. there is a helpful index on the inside back page so you can quickly find anything you need mid-game.
The first solo variant is basically just a "reach the victory point win in as few turns as possible" - a great way to quickly learn the basics of the game and very enjoyable. It will be good if you just want to play a fairly quick (60-90 minute) survival/exploration game.
The second solo rule set is where the game really kicks into high gear. You choose a number of opponent factions depending on how much of a challenge you want and during the Town Business Phase, roll a D10 for each faction, comparing the result to a chart in the book to see what each faction does. these results can boost each faction up one or both of the victory point tracks (getting to the top of either one is a win) or more importantly, initiating PvP combat against your faction.
While this is still not the same as playing against real opponents, it offers a great challenge that will test your luck and skill to beat.
So what sets this game out as a solo gem? It's one of the most immersive games I've played. It's part open-world survival boardgame, part rpg and part story book.
You are the leader of a faction of survivors following a devastating war that destroyed the US leaving pockets of survivors trying to eke out a living among the radioactive ruins. As you make your way around the map, trying to secure vital resources or checking out points of interest, you will be drawing encounter cards and trying to complete them.
You control a team of 5 characters plus a vehicle if you are lucky and start the game with 10 items (from assault rifles to baseball bats, med kits to body armour and everything in between) which you can equip to each character any way you see fit. Some characters will get a bonus if they have certain items and some items can grant boosts to your entire party.
Here is where the RPG feel comes in. Each character and Item has a row of skill attribute boxes along the bottom edge of the card with skills such as Combat, Survival, Medical, Mechanics and Diplomacy. Your character card has a maximum carrying capacity and each item a weight so your character can only carry a certain number of items.
Skill checks are simple, you add up the total values in each attribute column of your character plus his/her equipment. Every 10 is an automatic success. Then you roll a D10 and must roll equal to or lower than the unit value. So, if your combat total is 14, then you get 1 success for the 10 and then must roll 4 or less to get a second success. This makes equipping items very important as not only do you want your skills to be as high as possible, it's often preferable to store an item for later if it would result in a lower unit thus making the die roll harder.
On to the encounters. There are a lot of them. Seriously, loads and each one on them has a mini story delving into another aspect of life after 'the war'. These add so much to the feeling of being immersed in a full world and are varied and well written. Each encounter will list a series of skill checks and the number of successes you need to pass. This is Ameritrash at it's finest Read a story, roll a bunch of dice and the deal with the outcome. A successful result will see you off with a new stash of items, victory points or maybe even new characters you can rotate into your team to replace injured members or just improve your chances with better skills.
There is so much in this game, the sheer number of cards is immense. the replayability is sky high as you will never see everything this game can offer. There are character combinations that complement each other if used together (what are the chances of drawing a husband and his wife together out of a deck of over 100 cards?), locations and storylines that trigger bonus effects if you have the right gear and 10 different factions each with their own skills and bonuses.
This game is certainly not for everyone - if you don't like luck-based games then you might not enjoy the amount of dice rolling and card drawing in Fallen Land.
The art is also divisive. It's very stylized and cartoony but it works with the feel of the game. It's not a pretty experience, everything is broken and destroyed, it's a harsh, Mad Max world of brutal survival and the art on the cards kind of fits this feel and to be honest, most of it ends up covered up and you concentrate more on reading the stories and trying to survive.
All in all a great so experience and a fantastic, brutal multiplayer game.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Teen Titans Go! To the Movies (2018) in Movies
Jul 8, 2019
This summer has brought us many of the best and highest rated superhero movies of all time. After seeing big blockbusters such as Avengers: Infinity War and Deadpool 2 and even Disney Pixar’s animated superhero hit Incredibles 2, folks may have a bit of superhero overload. With so many genre-defining films one right after the other it would be easy to miss the newest contender, Teen Titans Go! To the Movies, but it’s absolutely a movie you should make a point to see.
Robin (Scott Menville), the leader of the Teen Titans dreams of nothing more than having a movie made about him. It seems like there is a movie about every other major superhero (even if it wasn’t a particularly good one as Green Lantern reluctantly admits too), so why not him? When he and his team Beast Boy (Greg Cipes), Cyborg (Khary Payton), Raven (Tara Strong) and Starfire (Hynden Walch) inquire why a movie has yet to be made about them, they are laughed at. After all, who would ever make a movie dedicated to the lowly sidekicks?
The Titans realize that there is one thing that all superheroes have that they are missing…an archnemesis, someone they could prove their heroic talents defeating and ultimately earn them a place among the stars. The Titans, due the other major superheroes being unavailable, come across Slade (Will Arnett) attempting to steal a precious crystal. Jumping quickly into action, the team realizes that this may be the archnemesis they are searching for.
Teen Titans is a movie that certainly does not take itself seriously, even their first battle is against a giant balloon man who steals safes by stuffing them inside helium filled balloons. There are also the occasional fart jokes and the expected waffles references, which are all the things that young kids have grown to love about the series. Even though those jokes and references were very funny, they are really only surface level jokes, ones to make the kids in the audience laugh. To get to the real genius of this movie you have to look a little deeper. Teen Titans is full of 80’s and pop culture references, so many that it’d be easy to overlook them the first time you see it. The movie includes subtle nods to everything from Back to the Future to superhero origin stories and every one of them is pure genius. The references were clearly made for the adults to catch, yet you’ll still see the younger audience members laughing (although they may not know why). One of my absolute favorite parts in the movie involves Aquaman, and 3 days later I’m still laughing about it. The joy this movie brings will stay with you for a very long time.
Teen Titans! Go to the Movies has my vote for best superhero movie of the year. It’s a bright shining star in the otherwise dismal DC Universe. It’s a movie that is made for young and old alike, but for entirely different reasons. It is both nostalgic and new, something that is incredibly difficult for most movies to accomplish these days. It will have you laughing throughout, but deep down teaches an incredibly important lesson about friendship, and what it means to be a true hero. For fans of the television series this is an absolute must see movie, in fact you should already have your tickets and know exactly when you are going. For those who have never seen a single episode but love superhero movies, don’t just sit there, fly/swim/portal your way over to the theater. If you have a fondness for the 80s, you’ll be in for a serious treat, in many, many ways. As cliché as this may seem, it’s the must-see movie of the summer and in my opinion the entire year. Oh, and make sure you stay for the credits…the genius lasts until the very end.
What I liked: Incredibly clever 80s and pop culture references, vivid and amazing animation, the superhero origin stories (you’ll understand when you watch it)
What I liked less: I couldn’t immediately go see it again
Robin (Scott Menville), the leader of the Teen Titans dreams of nothing more than having a movie made about him. It seems like there is a movie about every other major superhero (even if it wasn’t a particularly good one as Green Lantern reluctantly admits too), so why not him? When he and his team Beast Boy (Greg Cipes), Cyborg (Khary Payton), Raven (Tara Strong) and Starfire (Hynden Walch) inquire why a movie has yet to be made about them, they are laughed at. After all, who would ever make a movie dedicated to the lowly sidekicks?
The Titans realize that there is one thing that all superheroes have that they are missing…an archnemesis, someone they could prove their heroic talents defeating and ultimately earn them a place among the stars. The Titans, due the other major superheroes being unavailable, come across Slade (Will Arnett) attempting to steal a precious crystal. Jumping quickly into action, the team realizes that this may be the archnemesis they are searching for.
Teen Titans is a movie that certainly does not take itself seriously, even their first battle is against a giant balloon man who steals safes by stuffing them inside helium filled balloons. There are also the occasional fart jokes and the expected waffles references, which are all the things that young kids have grown to love about the series. Even though those jokes and references were very funny, they are really only surface level jokes, ones to make the kids in the audience laugh. To get to the real genius of this movie you have to look a little deeper. Teen Titans is full of 80’s and pop culture references, so many that it’d be easy to overlook them the first time you see it. The movie includes subtle nods to everything from Back to the Future to superhero origin stories and every one of them is pure genius. The references were clearly made for the adults to catch, yet you’ll still see the younger audience members laughing (although they may not know why). One of my absolute favorite parts in the movie involves Aquaman, and 3 days later I’m still laughing about it. The joy this movie brings will stay with you for a very long time.
Teen Titans! Go to the Movies has my vote for best superhero movie of the year. It’s a bright shining star in the otherwise dismal DC Universe. It’s a movie that is made for young and old alike, but for entirely different reasons. It is both nostalgic and new, something that is incredibly difficult for most movies to accomplish these days. It will have you laughing throughout, but deep down teaches an incredibly important lesson about friendship, and what it means to be a true hero. For fans of the television series this is an absolute must see movie, in fact you should already have your tickets and know exactly when you are going. For those who have never seen a single episode but love superhero movies, don’t just sit there, fly/swim/portal your way over to the theater. If you have a fondness for the 80s, you’ll be in for a serious treat, in many, many ways. As cliché as this may seem, it’s the must-see movie of the summer and in my opinion the entire year. Oh, and make sure you stay for the credits…the genius lasts until the very end.
What I liked: Incredibly clever 80s and pop culture references, vivid and amazing animation, the superhero origin stories (you’ll understand when you watch it)
What I liked less: I couldn’t immediately go see it again
BobbiesDustyPages (1259 KP) rated American Gods in Books
Aug 30, 2017
I could live in this book
Contains spoilers, click to show
Short and to the point:
From start to finish I just did not want to put down American Gods, I just always really enjoy Gaiman's writing style he manages to create a world within a world that just feels so effortless and downright real. Their are so many amazing characters and most of them I just wanted more of, also with the amount of character we have we really get something that we never do and that is people of color represented and it is WONDERFUL .This is one of those few books that as soon as I was finished I wanted to turn it over and start reading again.
Characters:
Shadow Moon - I could wax poetics about Shadow, he was quiet and kind of dry and usually that would have me think a character is kind of boring but just not with Shadow he drew me and made me fall in love. It was a so a happy surprise to have a main protagonist who is a person of color which is something that is need so much nowadays.
Laura – I really loved how Laura was handled, most characters who died the way she did would have been either thrown aside or made to be hated but that is not the case here, I love how she helps Shadow and her love for him really comes through but also that we do see her as her own person.
Mr. Wednesday - What can I say about Wednesday besides from the moment you meet him I don't trust him but like Shadow I can't help what wanting to follow him where he's taking me.
The Gods - even though there are a lot and I mean a lot of characters throughout the book I found myself never feeling overwhelmed by them Gaiman really found a way to give them all a voice but in no way overshadow the plot or any of the other characters.
Plot:
We meet Shadow a few days before his release from prison he is taken into the wardens office to me given the devastating new that his wife Laura had been killed, when he is released from prison he meets a strange man know as Mr. Wednesday who offers Shadow a job to accompany him across America so he can recruit others to fight in an upcoming war, The Old Gods vs. The New Gods.
The story takes you to so many places and you meet so many just unique characters I love the differences between the gods how the old are left to do what they have to service feeding off of any belief they can get and how the new gods aren't at all what I thought I was going to be getting because let's face it there are not as many religious gods any more instead we worship TV and technology the way the Greeks worshiped the gods of Olympus.
Personal thoughts:
I could not get enough of American Gods even though the book was pretty hefty and it took me sometime to finish I still wanted more, Gaiman just creates such a wonderful and unique worlds that I could stay lost in them forever.
From start to finish I just did not want to put down American Gods, I just always really enjoy Gaiman's writing style he manages to create a world within a world that just feels so effortless and downright real. Their are so many amazing characters and most of them I just wanted more of, also with the amount of character we have we really get something that we never do and that is people of color represented and it is WONDERFUL .This is one of those few books that as soon as I was finished I wanted to turn it over and start reading again.
Characters:
Shadow Moon - I could wax poetics about Shadow, he was quiet and kind of dry and usually that would have me think a character is kind of boring but just not with Shadow he drew me and made me fall in love. It was a so a happy surprise to have a main protagonist who is a person of color which is something that is need so much nowadays.
Laura – I really loved how Laura was handled, most characters who died the way she did would have been either thrown aside or made to be hated but that is not the case here, I love how she helps Shadow and her love for him really comes through but also that we do see her as her own person.
Mr. Wednesday - What can I say about Wednesday besides from the moment you meet him I don't trust him but like Shadow I can't help what wanting to follow him where he's taking me.
The Gods - even though there are a lot and I mean a lot of characters throughout the book I found myself never feeling overwhelmed by them Gaiman really found a way to give them all a voice but in no way overshadow the plot or any of the other characters.
Plot:
We meet Shadow a few days before his release from prison he is taken into the wardens office to me given the devastating new that his wife Laura had been killed, when he is released from prison he meets a strange man know as Mr. Wednesday who offers Shadow a job to accompany him across America so he can recruit others to fight in an upcoming war, The Old Gods vs. The New Gods.
The story takes you to so many places and you meet so many just unique characters I love the differences between the gods how the old are left to do what they have to service feeding off of any belief they can get and how the new gods aren't at all what I thought I was going to be getting because let's face it there are not as many religious gods any more instead we worship TV and technology the way the Greeks worshiped the gods of Olympus.
Personal thoughts:
I could not get enough of American Gods even though the book was pretty hefty and it took me sometime to finish I still wanted more, Gaiman just creates such a wonderful and unique worlds that I could stay lost in them forever.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Paddington 2 (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Bear faced brilliance.
I never went to see “Paddington 2” at the cinema when it came out. Well, it’s a kids film isn’t it? And my grandkids I thought… well, their probably a bit too young for the long haul on this one. But – after catching up with it recently on a transatlantic flight – I’m sorry I missed it. For it is brilliant in its own way.
Having not seen the first “Paddington”, also directed by Paul King, there is a useful little flashback to the Peruvian origins of the little chap before we pitch into the plot proper. Paddington (voiced by Ben Wishaw, “Spectre“) has nicely settled down to life with The Brown’s in their London home and is a well-loved member of the community (well, well loved that is by everyone except the cranky Mr Curry (Peter Capaldi, “Dr Who“, “World War Z“). But he longs to buy his Aunt Lucy (Imelda Staunton, “Finding Your Feet“) a special birthday present – a pop-up book of London scenes that he’s seen in a local antique shop. But for that he needs a lot of cash, and so proceeds to earn it through a variety of different jobs.
However, fading actor Phoenix Buchanan (Hugh Grant, “Florence Foster Jenkins“, “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.“) also shows an unhealty interest in the book and, after it disappears from the shop with Paddington’s paw prints all over the scene, the poor bear finds himself on the wrong side of the law.
This is a continually inventive movie, which rockets along with truly impressive verve and panache from scene to scene. As a particular example of this, an animated walk through the pop-up book is marvellously done: a tribute to the 2D retro nature (even in those days!) of the TV animation of the 70’s that will go over the heads of younger viewers. There are plenty of slapstick scenes – notably of Paddington trying window cleaning, and his job in a barber’s shop – which will not only delight younger children but also made this 57 year old laugh out loud too! The prison sequence also delights, with a laundry blunder by the bear leading into a comical showdown with the prison’s chief poisoner, sorry, head chef played by Brendan Gleeson (“Alone in Berlin“, “Live By Night“).
Vision AND sound! Paddington with incarcerated friends, including Brendan Gleeson (centre).
The cast all seem to revel in their parts, with Hugh Bonneville (“Viceroy’s House“, “The Monuments Men“) energetic as Mr Brown and Oscar runner-up (surely!) Sally Hawkins (“The Shape of Water“) very chirpy as Mrs Brown. All of the residents of Windsor Gardens are a who’s who of UK film and TV, and each cameo has a lovely little tale behind it: Julie Walters (“Brooklyn“) as Mrs Bird, the Brown’s help; Sanjeev Bhaskar as Dr Jafri, forever nearly locking himself out; Miss Kitts (Jessica Hynes) and the crusty Colonel Lancaster (Ben Miller) in a ‘will they/won’t they’ potential romance. Elsewhere, Jim Broadbent (“Bridget Jones Baby“, “Eddie the Eagle“) is great as the antique store owner; Tom Conti adds both gravitas and humour as Judge Biggleswade and Richard Ayoade (“The Double“) is very funny as a forensic expert.
The Brown family: from left; Mr Brown (Hugh Bonneville); Jonathan (Samuel Joslin); Mrs Brown (Sally Hawkins); Mrs Bird (Julie Walters); and Judy Brown (Madeleine Harris).
Head and shoulders above all of them though is Hugh Grant who is just outstandingly good as the puffed-up and self-important ham-actor. His Best Supporting Actor nomination for a BAFTA was surprising, but having seen the film so very much deserved. Hang around in the end credits for his last words of the film which are cornily hilarious! One can only hope that Phoenix Buchanen returns for Paddington 3.
A career best… Hugh Grant as the devilishly slippery Phoenix Buchanan.
I would have thought that some of the scenes towards the end of the film, particularly one where Paddington seems doomed to a watery end, might be a little frightening for younger viewers. Thank heavens Sally Hawkins has gills! 🙂
Overall, this is a movie I would gladly watch again, with or without kids. In a movie landscape that is pretty devoid of good comedy, here is a movie that really did make me laugh out loud.
Having not seen the first “Paddington”, also directed by Paul King, there is a useful little flashback to the Peruvian origins of the little chap before we pitch into the plot proper. Paddington (voiced by Ben Wishaw, “Spectre“) has nicely settled down to life with The Brown’s in their London home and is a well-loved member of the community (well, well loved that is by everyone except the cranky Mr Curry (Peter Capaldi, “Dr Who“, “World War Z“). But he longs to buy his Aunt Lucy (Imelda Staunton, “Finding Your Feet“) a special birthday present – a pop-up book of London scenes that he’s seen in a local antique shop. But for that he needs a lot of cash, and so proceeds to earn it through a variety of different jobs.
However, fading actor Phoenix Buchanan (Hugh Grant, “Florence Foster Jenkins“, “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.“) also shows an unhealty interest in the book and, after it disappears from the shop with Paddington’s paw prints all over the scene, the poor bear finds himself on the wrong side of the law.
This is a continually inventive movie, which rockets along with truly impressive verve and panache from scene to scene. As a particular example of this, an animated walk through the pop-up book is marvellously done: a tribute to the 2D retro nature (even in those days!) of the TV animation of the 70’s that will go over the heads of younger viewers. There are plenty of slapstick scenes – notably of Paddington trying window cleaning, and his job in a barber’s shop – which will not only delight younger children but also made this 57 year old laugh out loud too! The prison sequence also delights, with a laundry blunder by the bear leading into a comical showdown with the prison’s chief poisoner, sorry, head chef played by Brendan Gleeson (“Alone in Berlin“, “Live By Night“).
Vision AND sound! Paddington with incarcerated friends, including Brendan Gleeson (centre).
The cast all seem to revel in their parts, with Hugh Bonneville (“Viceroy’s House“, “The Monuments Men“) energetic as Mr Brown and Oscar runner-up (surely!) Sally Hawkins (“The Shape of Water“) very chirpy as Mrs Brown. All of the residents of Windsor Gardens are a who’s who of UK film and TV, and each cameo has a lovely little tale behind it: Julie Walters (“Brooklyn“) as Mrs Bird, the Brown’s help; Sanjeev Bhaskar as Dr Jafri, forever nearly locking himself out; Miss Kitts (Jessica Hynes) and the crusty Colonel Lancaster (Ben Miller) in a ‘will they/won’t they’ potential romance. Elsewhere, Jim Broadbent (“Bridget Jones Baby“, “Eddie the Eagle“) is great as the antique store owner; Tom Conti adds both gravitas and humour as Judge Biggleswade and Richard Ayoade (“The Double“) is very funny as a forensic expert.
The Brown family: from left; Mr Brown (Hugh Bonneville); Jonathan (Samuel Joslin); Mrs Brown (Sally Hawkins); Mrs Bird (Julie Walters); and Judy Brown (Madeleine Harris).
Head and shoulders above all of them though is Hugh Grant who is just outstandingly good as the puffed-up and self-important ham-actor. His Best Supporting Actor nomination for a BAFTA was surprising, but having seen the film so very much deserved. Hang around in the end credits for his last words of the film which are cornily hilarious! One can only hope that Phoenix Buchanen returns for Paddington 3.
A career best… Hugh Grant as the devilishly slippery Phoenix Buchanan.
I would have thought that some of the scenes towards the end of the film, particularly one where Paddington seems doomed to a watery end, might be a little frightening for younger viewers. Thank heavens Sally Hawkins has gills! 🙂
Overall, this is a movie I would gladly watch again, with or without kids. In a movie landscape that is pretty devoid of good comedy, here is a movie that really did make me laugh out loud.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Loveless (2017) in Movies
Jul 8, 2019
Speaking as someone who grew up in the United States, prides themselves on having a vast and diverse movie library, and only leaves the confines of the greater Seattle-area on very rare occasions .. I’m the first to admit that there are times when I don’t fully appreciate the films produced in other countries. It’s amazing how different they can be based on even differences in other cultures. Take films made in Russia for example. Perhaps it’s the cold and bleakness of the country but Russian filmmakers are amongst the best when it comes to tragedies. I imagine it’s a ‘carry over’ in part from the great literary masterpieces to come out of that country. Not to give it all away right from the beginning but if you’re like me, you need to prepare yourself for a good tragedy and that’s exactly what the film is that is up for your consideration.
‘Loveless’ is a 2017 Russian tragedy from noted director Andrey Zvyaginstev and co-written by Zvyaginstev and Oleg Negin. As with Zvyaginstev’s 2014 tragedy ‘Leviathan’, ‘Loveless’ has quickly risen to critical acclaim and already won several accolades including the Jury Prize at 2017 Cannes Film Festival and was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the 90th Academy Awards.
‘Loveless’ stars Maryana Spivak, Aleksey Rozin, and Matvey Novikov. It’s the end of the day for 12 year-old Alexey (Novikov). He says farewell to the few friends he has at school and takes the long way home through the woods following a river on the outskirts of Moscow. It’s a cold, dreary afternoon yet it’s preferable to what awaits him at home. His parents Zhenya (Spivak) and Boris (Rozin) are separated and engaged in bitter divorce proceedings but to both, the marriage was over long ago. The only difference is now are that they are living separately and they’re also trying to shrug parental responsibilities off on one another. They seem to have no issue vocalizing their mutual belief that having Alexey was a mistake. Their only real concerns seem to be getting their son out of their lives so they can move on with their new spouses and each begin a whole new family obliterating any connection they ever had or made. All this in a country that that is engaged in a war against its own people and against the Ukraine. The destruction of a family with parents at war with one another leaving the child as the innocent victim.
Zhenya returns to her apartment after spending time with her new lover to find Alexey gone and messages from his school stating he had not been there in two days. She calls Boris in an attempt to locate Alexey and after another argument over the phone finally decides to call in the police. After starting to show the smallest amount of concern for Alexey and disgust over the low priority that the police are assigning their son’s case, Zhenya and Boris call in a special volunteer unit specializing in searching for missing persons. While the parents actively participate in searching for their son, they continue to fight and engage in hostilities towards one another showing such selfishness and a blatant disregard for their son’s well being that you begin to wonder how far they can take it.
Although the film isn’t my ‘normal cup of tea’, i’m going to give it 4 out of 5 stars Zvyaginstev has crafted another tragic masterpiece putting ‘Loveless’ almost on par with ‘Leviathan’. The film highlights the lack of empathy displayed by families in modern society. Although the film has a ‘predictability’ given Zvyaginstev’s past work it is beautifully shot and well written. Watching the downward spiral of the family in this film is almost like reading a piece sheet music. It’s ominous. It’s not just name calling and insults … it’s as though it’s being disassembled piece by piece which although dark and bleak is still quite intriguing. I’d personally recommend you catch it in an independent movie theater or a small art house theater. It’s a 2 hour movie so I’d recommend catching it at a small theater.
‘Loveless’ is a 2017 Russian tragedy from noted director Andrey Zvyaginstev and co-written by Zvyaginstev and Oleg Negin. As with Zvyaginstev’s 2014 tragedy ‘Leviathan’, ‘Loveless’ has quickly risen to critical acclaim and already won several accolades including the Jury Prize at 2017 Cannes Film Festival and was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the 90th Academy Awards.
‘Loveless’ stars Maryana Spivak, Aleksey Rozin, and Matvey Novikov. It’s the end of the day for 12 year-old Alexey (Novikov). He says farewell to the few friends he has at school and takes the long way home through the woods following a river on the outskirts of Moscow. It’s a cold, dreary afternoon yet it’s preferable to what awaits him at home. His parents Zhenya (Spivak) and Boris (Rozin) are separated and engaged in bitter divorce proceedings but to both, the marriage was over long ago. The only difference is now are that they are living separately and they’re also trying to shrug parental responsibilities off on one another. They seem to have no issue vocalizing their mutual belief that having Alexey was a mistake. Their only real concerns seem to be getting their son out of their lives so they can move on with their new spouses and each begin a whole new family obliterating any connection they ever had or made. All this in a country that that is engaged in a war against its own people and against the Ukraine. The destruction of a family with parents at war with one another leaving the child as the innocent victim.
Zhenya returns to her apartment after spending time with her new lover to find Alexey gone and messages from his school stating he had not been there in two days. She calls Boris in an attempt to locate Alexey and after another argument over the phone finally decides to call in the police. After starting to show the smallest amount of concern for Alexey and disgust over the low priority that the police are assigning their son’s case, Zhenya and Boris call in a special volunteer unit specializing in searching for missing persons. While the parents actively participate in searching for their son, they continue to fight and engage in hostilities towards one another showing such selfishness and a blatant disregard for their son’s well being that you begin to wonder how far they can take it.
Although the film isn’t my ‘normal cup of tea’, i’m going to give it 4 out of 5 stars Zvyaginstev has crafted another tragic masterpiece putting ‘Loveless’ almost on par with ‘Leviathan’. The film highlights the lack of empathy displayed by families in modern society. Although the film has a ‘predictability’ given Zvyaginstev’s past work it is beautifully shot and well written. Watching the downward spiral of the family in this film is almost like reading a piece sheet music. It’s ominous. It’s not just name calling and insults … it’s as though it’s being disassembled piece by piece which although dark and bleak is still quite intriguing. I’d personally recommend you catch it in an independent movie theater or a small art house theater. It’s a 2 hour movie so I’d recommend catching it at a small theater.
Sophia (Bookwyrming Thoughts) (530 KP) rated Daughter of Smoke and Bone in Books
Jan 23, 2020
How I really feel these days: read/listen to a book, pull out the overall point of the book, give brief information on why I liked/disliked the book, the end. Or, go through that and the words come as I start typing the review, and it may or may not be in an organized manner. That's for your judgment, I suppose.
It's precisely how I feel with <i>Daughter of Smoke and Bone</i>. It's interesting with all the seraphs and chimaera (I keep wanting to call that chimera) being at war with each other, but I pretty much picked out one very important theme in this entire book.
Reincarnation (or resurrection in this case) and self-discovery.
Karou is a very mysterious person (at least, she likes to keep it that way). From early on, she doesn't have a family (aside from a surrogate one), doesn't talk about herself, and avoids questions from anyone who actually want to know who she is aside from the fact she is fantastic at drawing mystical creatures. She also deals with wishes, her hair is blue (really cool, by the way), and speaks over twenty languages. But she still doesn't understand who she really is, and that remains the constant until Karou goes on an errand where she comes across Akiva, a seraph with fire in his eyes.
I'm not really sure how I feel about Akiva. Although Laini gives information about his past, especially with Madrigal's memories, I'm pretty indifferent towards him. He's a seraph, fell in love with Madrigal, and wants peace among the seraph and chimaera, but otherwise, I feel like he's just appropriately placed in the story.
<i>Daughter of Smoke and Bone</i> is also one of those books in which I believe Laini does a fantastic job with flashbacks. I'm generally not a huge fan of flashbacks, because while I know they play an important role most of the time (authors don't do things in their novel without reason), they sometimes add more bulk or it doesn't really fit well in the story.
In <i>Daughter of Smoke and Bone's</i> case, it would have been a really bad idea not to have so many flashbacks later on in the story. From what I've read up to Madrigal's memories, Karou is a enigmatic person. Madrigal's memories add on to Karou as a whole, and I feel it makes Karou more developed than she would have been had Laini not written in the most important aspects of Madrigal's life.
<i>Daughter of Smoke and Bone</i> has it's very gruesome parts (don't tell me listening to a description of someone being beheaded is <em>not</em> gruesome), but I enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to listening to the second book (bonus points because it's the same narrator for the entire trilogy).
Have I mentioned I absolutely <em>adore</em> Zuzanna? *kiss/punch*
<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/audiobook-review-daughter-of-smoke-and-bone-by-laini-taylor/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
It's precisely how I feel with <i>Daughter of Smoke and Bone</i>. It's interesting with all the seraphs and chimaera (I keep wanting to call that chimera) being at war with each other, but I pretty much picked out one very important theme in this entire book.
Reincarnation (or resurrection in this case) and self-discovery.
Karou is a very mysterious person (at least, she likes to keep it that way). From early on, she doesn't have a family (aside from a surrogate one), doesn't talk about herself, and avoids questions from anyone who actually want to know who she is aside from the fact she is fantastic at drawing mystical creatures. She also deals with wishes, her hair is blue (really cool, by the way), and speaks over twenty languages. But she still doesn't understand who she really is, and that remains the constant until Karou goes on an errand where she comes across Akiva, a seraph with fire in his eyes.
I'm not really sure how I feel about Akiva. Although Laini gives information about his past, especially with Madrigal's memories, I'm pretty indifferent towards him. He's a seraph, fell in love with Madrigal, and wants peace among the seraph and chimaera, but otherwise, I feel like he's just appropriately placed in the story.
<i>Daughter of Smoke and Bone</i> is also one of those books in which I believe Laini does a fantastic job with flashbacks. I'm generally not a huge fan of flashbacks, because while I know they play an important role most of the time (authors don't do things in their novel without reason), they sometimes add more bulk or it doesn't really fit well in the story.
In <i>Daughter of Smoke and Bone's</i> case, it would have been a really bad idea not to have so many flashbacks later on in the story. From what I've read up to Madrigal's memories, Karou is a enigmatic person. Madrigal's memories add on to Karou as a whole, and I feel it makes Karou more developed than she would have been had Laini not written in the most important aspects of Madrigal's life.
<i>Daughter of Smoke and Bone</i> has it's very gruesome parts (don't tell me listening to a description of someone being beheaded is <em>not</em> gruesome), but I enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to listening to the second book (bonus points because it's the same narrator for the entire trilogy).
Have I mentioned I absolutely <em>adore</em> Zuzanna? *kiss/punch*
<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/audiobook-review-daughter-of-smoke-and-bone-by-laini-taylor/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
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A Bibliophagist (113 KP) rated Space Opera in Books
Jan 25, 2020 (Updated Jan 25, 2020)
Fun writing (2 more)
Creative
Witty
Overwritten (3 more)
Lacking plot
Disjointed and distracted
Boring
Technicolor Encyclopedia entry
Space Opera seems to be a book, that based on other reviews, you either love or hate. The love reviewers can't seem to tell me why they love it, most attempting to replicate the style of the author and relying on a menagerie of adjectives to express themselves. "A glitter punk, Eurovision romp!" "Technicolor whirlwind!" but not actually saying WHY they liked it, or just saying "well you didn't get the humor". The ones who disliked it are pretty clear, and as I struggled with this book I found I agreed with their complaints. However, I have to thank the sheer number of DNFs from the disliked group for causing me to, ironically, finish it. I hate DNFing books, to begin with, but when I saw just how many bad reviews didn't make it through, it felt as bad as the good reviews not actually reviewing anything. So I powered through, and honestly, it was worth finishing. The author really got back on track and it was a great ending.
Valente has in fact given us a Eurovision, glitter punk, electric baby with Douglas Adams, her writing fantastical and humorous, her characters vapid but in a washed-out musician kind of way. She really thought about this book, creating droves of aliens and probably destroying a number of thesauri to bring them to life. We follow Decibel Jones of the "oh you haven't heard of it, well we used to be a thing" Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. A washed-up, no longer active glitter punk band who is an amalgam of every band you probably are thinking of when trying to grasp what that description means.
The book opens with a wonderfully witty description of how there is in fact other life out there in the universe, life is easy to come by, they've just been off doing a galactic war and while they were gone we kind of popped up. Life is stupid. This part is the best part of the book. The humor is on point, the prose magnificant. She is spot on and very pointed in her argument for why war happens. It's people vs meat, and how does one determine something isn't meat, but in fact sentient? Well, no one really figured that out, hence the galactic war, but NOW post-war they think they've figured it out. Intergalactic Music competition. Makes sense, only something sentient could create music right?
Well, this year is a special year because Earth is invited, we've been deemed "may be sentient", but questionable enough that they'd rather not let us just hang out and become annoying someday. So we have to present a band and performance for consideration. We just have to not place last. If we don't place last, we're part of the club and we'll be a-ok. If we place last, we'll be destroyed, because they already think we're annoying and that will mean we're meat. People vs meat remember?
So, one day everyone on the planet earth, everyone, awake or sleeping is visited by the blue birdlike projection of our assigned guides, the Esca, and alien species that are new to the whole being accepted as a sentient thing, and will guide us through the competition. Which it is now telling us about, Suprise! They've chosen a list of musicians they think will do well, however it's outdated and only one band is really able to do it, the has-beens, who are they, Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. Time was rough on our glam-punk friends as it tends to be on musicians, they lost the third member about a decade ago, the two remaining no longer talk. Decibel is a trainwreck, and Oort St Ultraviolet is now just a dad who very much wants to be a regular dude. But now they're being whisked off into space to sing for the world's salvation.
Sounds pretty fun right? This plus Douglas Adams type prose and humor? A real knock out. Unfortunately, that story I just described takes up... maybe a quarter of the book, MAYBE. You can pull the main story out and put it into a book that might be too small to be a novella. Because of this, the backstory, development, and exploration of these characters are slim to nothing. There is some mind you, but very little. It isn't until the 180pg mark or so that Valente actually decides to focus on the plot, giving very little time to do the entire Grand Prix, the actual competition takes up a page. A 288-page book about a singing competition and only 1-2 pages is actually the singing competition. Tack on another 10 maybe for the weird cocktail death party right before, that didn't have enough attempted death to make any real point of it, plus maybe another 5-10 scattered throughout the book on the back story and leading up to the story, and we've got MAYBE 25 pages of the actual plot. My math is wrong, I know, but it sure FEELS like this.
So, in a 288-page book, with 25 pages being the actual story, what are the other 263 pages? It was the author being somewhat... I don't mean to sound mean, but full of herself? She tried WAY too hard on this style she was going for. It felt like an "oh, you liked that opening chapter, didn't you? You totally read it out loud to your boyfriend, well here let me give it to you again, and again, and ... again". This book suffers from a severe case of needing to be edited. Of someone saying "that's enough now dear, but what about the story". Every few pages of the backstory of the plot we got were met with full chapters, sometimes multiple of Valente describing yet another alien species she's created, in yet another chain of witty simile and metaphor. To the point where sometimes I no longer knew what was happening, they were all interchangeable, which alien are we talking about now? It went on and on and on, and I never knew how such humorous writing could be just so soul suckingly boring. When she ran out of aliens it was describing previous grand prix's and how the aliens sang. In the exact same, formulaic, witty simile, witty simile, witty simile. Don't get me wrong, there were some absolute gems in here. Some that made me laugh out loud. But it's all about the ratio. I would trade in a heartbeat the ratio in this book. 263 pages of plot, and 25 pages of aliens described in witty simile. It took everything in my power after the third alien chapter to not skim. But she fit so much into a sentence that I was scared somewhere hiding would be a plot point (spoiler alert, there wasn't, skim away).
Then around the 180 page mark, a flip was switched, it was almost as if she went "crap, a story!" the adjective use was slimmed down dramatically and we actually got more than one chapter in a row with a plot point. But at this point, it was too late, the end of the book was hurdling at us and very little had happened and the book pretty much fizzled out with an "oh yeah, the Grand Prix happened". Mind you, the finale was very heartwarming and I liked it a lot. I just wish I hadn't had to read a full chapter about hairbrush interspecies sex to get there, and instead had more of it. But ironically, the hairbrush sex had more plot advancement that the majority of the book.
The ending did, however, for one moment, make me forget that I had just read an encyclopedia of descriptors and was happy for a few minutes. So good on her for that. That proves to me that she can write more than glittery descriptions, which then made me sad I didn't have more of that writing. With just a spattering of the gold of her opening chapters. I am glad I finished the book, the story, what little there was, was worth the read. However, I have no desire to read any other of Valente's writing now, and if there was a sequel, I just don't think I have it in me to read another 263 pages of description. Cool idea, good ability, just terribly executed. She could easily have released a separate book, expanding on a handful of species she established in the book, like an alien compendium, and I would have read it, and laughed, and been okay because I went into it expecting it. But I went into this wanting a story, not a neon throwup encyclopedia of just how "oh so creative" Valente is. That came off harsh, I know, but they blew past the fine line of interesting and well into the self-serving, look what I can do, territory. What suffered for it wasn't just a large number of DNFs, and my sanity for a few days, but an actually interesting, fun, Eurovision, glitter punk, heartwarming story about loss, life, how stupid it is, how beautiful it is, and why we should fight for it. It's in there, hiding beneath the layers and layers of word vomit. I want that story. Please release a second edition that is just that, the opening, and say... 3-5 of your favorite aliens Valente, I promise I'll give it another try if you do.
Valente has in fact given us a Eurovision, glitter punk, electric baby with Douglas Adams, her writing fantastical and humorous, her characters vapid but in a washed-out musician kind of way. She really thought about this book, creating droves of aliens and probably destroying a number of thesauri to bring them to life. We follow Decibel Jones of the "oh you haven't heard of it, well we used to be a thing" Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. A washed-up, no longer active glitter punk band who is an amalgam of every band you probably are thinking of when trying to grasp what that description means.
The book opens with a wonderfully witty description of how there is in fact other life out there in the universe, life is easy to come by, they've just been off doing a galactic war and while they were gone we kind of popped up. Life is stupid. This part is the best part of the book. The humor is on point, the prose magnificant. She is spot on and very pointed in her argument for why war happens. It's people vs meat, and how does one determine something isn't meat, but in fact sentient? Well, no one really figured that out, hence the galactic war, but NOW post-war they think they've figured it out. Intergalactic Music competition. Makes sense, only something sentient could create music right?
Well, this year is a special year because Earth is invited, we've been deemed "may be sentient", but questionable enough that they'd rather not let us just hang out and become annoying someday. So we have to present a band and performance for consideration. We just have to not place last. If we don't place last, we're part of the club and we'll be a-ok. If we place last, we'll be destroyed, because they already think we're annoying and that will mean we're meat. People vs meat remember?
So, one day everyone on the planet earth, everyone, awake or sleeping is visited by the blue birdlike projection of our assigned guides, the Esca, and alien species that are new to the whole being accepted as a sentient thing, and will guide us through the competition. Which it is now telling us about, Suprise! They've chosen a list of musicians they think will do well, however it's outdated and only one band is really able to do it, the has-beens, who are they, Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. Time was rough on our glam-punk friends as it tends to be on musicians, they lost the third member about a decade ago, the two remaining no longer talk. Decibel is a trainwreck, and Oort St Ultraviolet is now just a dad who very much wants to be a regular dude. But now they're being whisked off into space to sing for the world's salvation.
Sounds pretty fun right? This plus Douglas Adams type prose and humor? A real knock out. Unfortunately, that story I just described takes up... maybe a quarter of the book, MAYBE. You can pull the main story out and put it into a book that might be too small to be a novella. Because of this, the backstory, development, and exploration of these characters are slim to nothing. There is some mind you, but very little. It isn't until the 180pg mark or so that Valente actually decides to focus on the plot, giving very little time to do the entire Grand Prix, the actual competition takes up a page. A 288-page book about a singing competition and only 1-2 pages is actually the singing competition. Tack on another 10 maybe for the weird cocktail death party right before, that didn't have enough attempted death to make any real point of it, plus maybe another 5-10 scattered throughout the book on the back story and leading up to the story, and we've got MAYBE 25 pages of the actual plot. My math is wrong, I know, but it sure FEELS like this.
So, in a 288-page book, with 25 pages being the actual story, what are the other 263 pages? It was the author being somewhat... I don't mean to sound mean, but full of herself? She tried WAY too hard on this style she was going for. It felt like an "oh, you liked that opening chapter, didn't you? You totally read it out loud to your boyfriend, well here let me give it to you again, and again, and ... again". This book suffers from a severe case of needing to be edited. Of someone saying "that's enough now dear, but what about the story". Every few pages of the backstory of the plot we got were met with full chapters, sometimes multiple of Valente describing yet another alien species she's created, in yet another chain of witty simile and metaphor. To the point where sometimes I no longer knew what was happening, they were all interchangeable, which alien are we talking about now? It went on and on and on, and I never knew how such humorous writing could be just so soul suckingly boring. When she ran out of aliens it was describing previous grand prix's and how the aliens sang. In the exact same, formulaic, witty simile, witty simile, witty simile. Don't get me wrong, there were some absolute gems in here. Some that made me laugh out loud. But it's all about the ratio. I would trade in a heartbeat the ratio in this book. 263 pages of plot, and 25 pages of aliens described in witty simile. It took everything in my power after the third alien chapter to not skim. But she fit so much into a sentence that I was scared somewhere hiding would be a plot point (spoiler alert, there wasn't, skim away).
Then around the 180 page mark, a flip was switched, it was almost as if she went "crap, a story!" the adjective use was slimmed down dramatically and we actually got more than one chapter in a row with a plot point. But at this point, it was too late, the end of the book was hurdling at us and very little had happened and the book pretty much fizzled out with an "oh yeah, the Grand Prix happened". Mind you, the finale was very heartwarming and I liked it a lot. I just wish I hadn't had to read a full chapter about hairbrush interspecies sex to get there, and instead had more of it. But ironically, the hairbrush sex had more plot advancement that the majority of the book.
The ending did, however, for one moment, make me forget that I had just read an encyclopedia of descriptors and was happy for a few minutes. So good on her for that. That proves to me that she can write more than glittery descriptions, which then made me sad I didn't have more of that writing. With just a spattering of the gold of her opening chapters. I am glad I finished the book, the story, what little there was, was worth the read. However, I have no desire to read any other of Valente's writing now, and if there was a sequel, I just don't think I have it in me to read another 263 pages of description. Cool idea, good ability, just terribly executed. She could easily have released a separate book, expanding on a handful of species she established in the book, like an alien compendium, and I would have read it, and laughed, and been okay because I went into it expecting it. But I went into this wanting a story, not a neon throwup encyclopedia of just how "oh so creative" Valente is. That came off harsh, I know, but they blew past the fine line of interesting and well into the self-serving, look what I can do, territory. What suffered for it wasn't just a large number of DNFs, and my sanity for a few days, but an actually interesting, fun, Eurovision, glitter punk, heartwarming story about loss, life, how stupid it is, how beautiful it is, and why we should fight for it. It's in there, hiding beneath the layers and layers of word vomit. I want that story. Please release a second edition that is just that, the opening, and say... 3-5 of your favorite aliens Valente, I promise I'll give it another try if you do.
