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The Lost Expedition
The Lost Expedition
2017 | Adventure, Card Game, Exploration
El Dorado – the lost city of gold. Many have searched for this fabled civilization, but none have prevailed… yet. Gather up your team of experts and pack your bags for the jungle – you’re headed on an adventure! Can you find the path to this lost city and get there alive? Or will the encounters of the wilderness prove to be too much to handle? Only one way to find out….

Disclaimer: The Lost Expedition can be played cooperatively, solo, or head-to-head. This review only covers the cooperative version of the game! -L

The Lost Expedition is a cooperative (in this case) game of strategy and hand management in which players are trying to traverse the jungle to reach El Dorado by carefully managing their Resources and utilizing their collective Expertise. To setup the game, choose 3 explorers to form your team, and collect 3 Ammunition and 4 Food from the supply tokens. Shuffle the adventure cards, dealing 4 to every player, placing the remainder in a face-down draw deck. Depending on the difficulty selected, place the corresponding number of Expedition cards in a row on the table (we played Normal mode, using 9 Expedition cards). Place 4 Health tokens on each explorer card, place the phase token with the Morning side up, select a starting expedition leader, and the game is ready to begin.

Each round consists of 2 phases: Morning and Evening. During the Morning phase, players will take turns playing adventure cards from their hand, one at a time, until each player has played 2 cards. This line of cards forms the path that the explorers are traveling in the morning. After all cards have been played, they will be rearranged in numerical order, from lowest to highest. Once the cards are organized, they will be resolved one at a time, from lowest to highest, until all cards have been addressed. Examples of card actions are: discarding the next card in play, swapping two cards on the path, adding a new card to the end of the path, or moving the team pawn one card closer to El Dorado. Adventure cards have different colored boxes that indicate action choices that the players must make. Some actions are mandatory and must be completed. Some cards offer 2 or more choices, one of which must be selected and performed to clear the card. And some cards have optional choices, that do not have to be completed for the card to be resolved. Certain actions will require the team to gain/spend Resources tokens or Expertise from your explorers (in the form of Health tokens). At the end of the Morning phase, the team loses 1 Food token, and play continues to the Evening phase.


During the Evening phase, the gameplay is like that of the Morning with a couple of changes. Players again will alternate playing cards, but will play until all remaining cards in their hand have been played. Cards in the Evening phase are resolved in the order that they are played, and are not organized numerically like in the Morning phase. Again, after all cards are played, they will be resolved one by one as normal, paying Resources/Expertise as required. Once the Evening phase is finished, the team loses 1 Food token, players draw a new hand of cards, select another expedition leader, and a new round begins with the Morning phase. Play continues in this fashion until either the players have reached El Dorado, all 3 of the team’s explorers have died (have no remaining Health tokens), or if the adventure card draw deck runs out 2 times during play.
Pretty straight-forward, right? Play cards, resolve cards, repeat. That is one thing I really like about The Lost Expedition – it is simple, yet so strategic. Ultimately this is a game of Resource/Expertise management. You need at least 1 explorer to make it to El Dorado alive. There is no reward without risk in this game. Couple that with the multiple action options on each card, and you’ve really got to have a strategy. Maybe you’re low on Ammunition, but in order to gain back some much-needed Health, you’ve got to spend Ammo. Or are you willing to deal damage to an explorer if it means the team can advance a card? There are so many things to consider, and so many ways in which you can strategize, and that keeps all players engaged.

That being said, players are not allowed to reveal the details of any cards in hand. So how can you best communicate with your team about what types of cards to play if you can’t tell them point-blank? That added aspect of working in a team creates some unique strategies in and of itself. Ultimately, the final decision comes down to the expedition leader for the round – but what if they choose the action you didn’t want? How can everyone help balance everyone else out? You really have to work together to be successful. The flip-side of that teamwork is that the game can be frustrating in some aspects. You never truly know what your teammates are going to play at any given time, and the card they choose could totally unravel your plan. Not being able to discuss the specifics of cards in your hand makes sense (because then why wouldn’t the team just have one collective hand of cards?), but it adds an element of randomness and luck to the game that seems counterintuitive to me. Playing the wrong card at the wrong time might just turn your team against you, and that undermines the spirit of the game.


Let’s touch briefly on components. The cards are nice, oversized, and sturdy. The artwork is colorful and thematically appropriate. All of the Resources tokens are thick cardboard, and the meeples are nice and chunky. All in all, good production quality overall.
So how do I really feel about The Lost Expedition? I think it’s ok. It is strategic and entertaining, with the added elements of teamwork and cooperation – you either win together or lose together. As a group, you’ve got to have an adaptable strategy and manage your resources as best you can. Is it a game that I love? No. But it’s one that will probably stay in my collection for a bit, before it moves on to someone who might see some hidden quality that I may have missed. If you want a nice and relatively simple team game to play, maybe check out The Lost Expedition. And if risk/reward or resource management isn’t your jam, then maybe keep looking beyond this one. Purple Phoenix Games give The Lost Expedition an eventful 6 / 12.
  
Ghoulash
Ghoulash
2001 | Exploration, Fantasy, Horror, Maze, Print & Play
Beef, elbow macaroni, tomato sauce, onions, garlic, many other spices. Combine. This is goulash.

Wait, this is Ghoulash? Ok so ditch the food and add Ghoul meat, dashes of Ghoo, some falling debris, and holes. Also add an opponent to play against and you have a recipe for a really great game. Intrigued by my recipe? Read on. This is Ghoulash.

When you name a game (and game company) using a pun for a delicious meal you just KNOW everyone is going to be making these jokes. I am not below this. However, Ghoulash pits two players against each other in a race to defeat eight Ghouls first – or die trying. This is a pencil and paper game contained on one double-sided sheet of paper (with the rules printed on the other side). With such little in components, this game CAN’T be very good, right?

DISCLAIMER: We were provided with a link to print off the game, so technically it’s a PNP for us. We printed off several copies to play our review games. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T

To setup a game of Ghoulash: The Game of Pen and Paper Peril (which I will be calling simply Ghoulash for the remainder of this review) grab two copies of the game sheet and two writing utensils. Though the game’s title suggests using a pen, I recommend a pencil. From here, you will need to decide which map grid you want to use for your play map and which will be your DM map. For those who have not played table top RPG’s before, a DM is a Dungeon Master – the person who ultimately runs the game and is typically in charge of placing and playing the monsters, traps, and NPCs of a game. In this case, each player will be each other’s DM. You will see the number of items that must be placed on the map on the main page. You must place (anywhere you want on the map) eight Ghouls, five Holes, five Debris, and three First-Aid Kits. Seriously. Anywhere you want. These are the items and encounters your opponent will be interacting with as you play. You are now ready to begin!

On your turn you will be moving through the map attempting to encounter and kill Ghouls – blobby monsters that want to eat you. You do this by moving onto a square that your opponent has placed a Ghoul and fighting it. Fighting Ghouls is easy: your DM opponent will circle any number on the Ghoul you are fighting. You need to guess this number in order to exploit its weak spot and vanquish it. For every incorrect guess YOU will take a wound from it bashing you. Mark your wounds on the Wound Meters area below the Ghouls. If you happen to take 12 wounds before finding a First-Aid Kit, then you die and you lose the game. Finding a First-Aid Kit, however, will relieve you of all your wounds you have suffered. In this scenario, you will begin tracking your wounds anew on the next Wound Meter on the tracker.

Like I mentioned earlier, other traps will be awaiting you in your personal hell dungeon. When you fall into a Hole you will forfeit the rest of your turn and you will skip your next turn entirely. Should you move onto a square containing Debris, you will be hit for one wound from falling bits of the rickety dungeon. Or perhaps it’s guano. You never know.

The player to defeat all eight ghouls or remain living the longest will be the winner (unless you play hardcore rules and have to defeat all Ghouls to win)!

Usually at this point in my reviews I evaluate the game components. In this case I am going to evaluate how the game art and graphic design work with and for the game. As the entire game is played on one side of one sheet of paper and everything you really need is located on that page, this is really genius to me. Everything is right there, and it’s very clear what to place on the map, how many of each thing to place, and where you can track the Ghouls, wounds, and your Ghoul trophies. It’s really great! The only negative here is we wished the letters and numbers on the x and y axes were darker. It was a little difficult for some people to read the coordinates. This would be an easy fix for me, but it may not be within the designer’s vision for the layout. Many times we were describing our movement with Battleship coordinates: I am moving south to B-1 then east to P-1 then north to P-2, etc. I didn’t have much difficulty with this, but I did hear that others did.

I believe that the intent of the future of Ghoulash is to offer pre-printed charts for sale and possibly have different themed charts to play. The eagle-eyed among you may have noticed that we were playing The City map. I have not seen any other maps, so I cannot comment on them, but even if I only had The City to play forever, I think that I would be happy enough.

That said, I believe this is a really really great game. I enjoyed being able to place out my encounter elements, and being able to freely roam around the map until I ran into something – even if it was a hole in the middle of an intersection that I had to fall through several times (sneaky, sneaky, my brilliant little brother!). The guessing game of fighting Ghouls can be quick and fun, or it can give you five wounds in one encounter. Overall, I think that anyone can enjoy it, but I will give a caveat. Both players MUST be able to read the map and coordinates to follow along with where each player is moving or else you may have some bickering. Oh, just my family? Maybe.

Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a sticky-yet-pleasing 10 / 12. You really should give it a shot. It could work with couples, friends, co-workers, strangers, pets, anyone!
  
Wonder Woman (2017)
Wonder Woman (2017)
2017 | Action, Fantasy, War
“What first attracted you Dr Mann to the movie with the scantily-clad Amazonians?”
Amazonians deliver! And how. The much anticipated new Wonder Woman movie is with us, and for once the film lives up to the wall-to-wall marketing hype.
With a heavy dose of mythology, Diana is growing up as the cossetted daughter of Hippolyta (Connie Nielsen, “Gladiator”), the Queen of the Amazons, on the hidden paradise island of Themyscira. Trained up as a warrior by Hippolyta’s sister, General Antiope (Robin Wright of “House of Cards”), Diana is clearly something special. Her ego is reinforced by the knowledge that she was made of clay with life breathed into her by the God Zeus. It’s enough to turn a girl’s head!

It’s 1917 and the man-free paradise is shaken up when an American spy by the name of Steve Trevor (Chris Pine, “Star Trek: Beyond“) crash-lands in the waters off Themyscira. (And yes… you didn’t mishear me… this film genuinely features a hero with both the names “Steve” and ‘Trevor”). Prince Eric – no, sorry, wrong film – is saved and awakened on the beach by Diana as the others arrive. “Thank God!”, say the Amazonians. “At last, someone to process the 200 year backlog of washing and ironing”!

But Steve (an “above average specimen”, LOL) is not long for paradise as he needs to return to the war with the results of his spy-work: a chemistry book stolen from the gorgeously deformed Dr Maru (Elena Anaya), gas-developer for the evil General Ludendorff (Danny Huston). Seeing Ludendorff to be her God-like nemesis Ares, Diana returns with Steve to the WW1 battlefields with the intent of killing the God of War and so ending the ‘war to end all wars’.

Much ‘fish out of water’ fun is had with Diana meeting civilised London society, although perhaps this section of the film doesn’t quite live up to its full potential: having ice cream for the first time, without any sign of surprise, all she can come up with is an amusing but rather lame “You must be very proud”.
But where the film really accelerates into awesomeness is when Diana reaches ‘The Front’. She emerges from the trenches like some shimmering vision of hotness, to set male and lesbian hearts a flutter. Its the most memorable trench-exit since the finale of “Black Adder 4”, and the subsequent scenes of Diana single-handedly facing the German guns is for me one of the most compelling and enjoyable scenes in any recent DC or Marvel movie.
Holding all this together is the ex-Israeli army-trainer Gal Gadot in the title role. And man oh man, what a Gal! Statuesque, athletic but also sweet, charming and emotionally fragile she completely owns this role from beginning to end. Gadot made a memorable entry in the otherwise poor “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” (#marthagate #neverforget #neverforgive) but nothing prepares you for just how great she is in this outing. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying that this film, although having a UK 12 certificate, is a film of immense danger to heterosexual teenagers of any age (#humor):
All boys will be cast into a lifetime of misery, never able to find a woman that can possibly live up to the impossibly perfect vision of Diana Prince, tearing up the German army with fists and whip!;
All girls WILL BECOME LESBIANS AFTER WATCHING THIS FILM!
Parents: you have been warned! 🙂
Chris Pine – the thinking women’s Chris Pratt – once again proves himself as a talented actor who manages to successfully morph to inhabit the role he plays. Much as he did in the excellent “Hell or High Water“, not once did I equate him to be James Tiberius Kirk after the first 5 minutes.

Effective in supporting roles are David Thewlis (“Harry Potter”) as a ‘helpful’ army bod and an almost unrecognisable Lucy Davis (“The Office”) as Etta, Steve’s comedic secretary. Steve’s rather unlikely sidekicks of Sameer (Said Taghmaoui, “American Hustle“), Charlie (Ewen Bremner, “Trainspotting”) and ‘The Chief’ (Eugene Brave Rock “The Revenant“) all rather fade into the woodwork by comparison.

I saw the film in 3D (“careful now… you could take an eye out with those things”) and very good it was too. Aside from some rather unnecessary Amazonian arrows, its never feels overdone, and elements of it were extremely effective.
Another star of the show is the superb Wonder Woman theme by Hans Zimmer, here rolled out by the film’s composer Rupert Gregson-Williams (“Hacksaw Ridge“). Unfortunately, the rest of the soundtrack is not particularly memorable.
The film shifts into more traditional yawn-worthy ‘superhero finale’ mode in the last twenty minutes, which is a bit of a shame. It’s also really curious that for such a sexually charged film there is an almost complete absence of ‘lurrve’ on show. The one love scene coquettishly fades to a view of the outside window. Was this to protect the film’s family friendly rating (probably) or that the director didn’t want to show her heroine in a remotely submissive position (possibly)? More frustratingly, the morning after there is no mention of it at all! (“Move along, nothing to see here”). I at least wanted some sort of recognition that a human/God liaison had taken place: Steve grimacing a bit when he sits down; or Diana on the blower to Themyscira saying “Yes, you were right Mum. 5 minutes in, and it just snapped clean off!”
I know my friend David Moody (of markanddave vblog fame, and a big DC/Marvel fan) was generally disappointed with the film. Conversely, Amy Andrews from the ever-excellent Oh That Film Blog loved it. I’m with Amy on this one, and greatly enjoyed it as a well-constructed action rollercoaster. The nearly two and a half hours sped by. By the way (and I took one for the team here) there is no “monkey” at the end of the film’s credit to hang on for.
Patty Jenkins (“Monster”) directs and knows the audience she is aiming to please. One can only imagine the empowering impact this film will have on young girls, crossing their wrists to ‘THAT’ music and, in their imagination, casting terrorists into the hell that they should be consigned to. In this week of yet more Isis atrocity in London, Wonder Woman is a role-model we could all stand and salute: “I believe in love” too.
  
Black Widow (2021)
Black Widow (2021)
2021 | Action
Florence Pugh (2 more)
The free-fall sequence at the end.
Taskmaster before the mask comes off.
It's way too long. (3 more)
The Taskmaster changes are weak.
It's as if the characters are fighting over who gets to be the comedic relief.
Familiar storyline.
Espionage Exhaustion
Black Widow is a film explaining what Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) was up to in-between Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War. The film was originally set to be released in May of 2020, but was pushed back and had three different release dates thanks to COVID-19. Unfortunately, most completed films that sit on the shelf and are in limbo for over a year rarely live up to the anticipation. Black Widow is worthwhile for a few key action sequences and notable characters that steal the spotlight, but is otherwise a mostly forgettable superhero film.

Marketed as a superhero film, Black Widow is also a spy thriller. Johansson has stated that films such as Logan, Harrison Ford’s The Fugitive, and Terminator 2: Judgment Day were influences. After Civil War, Thaddeus Ross (William Hurt) is on the hunt for Natasha Romanoff. Women like Natasha who have had similar training in a torturous training facility known as The Red Room are victims to brainwashing by a man named Dreykov (Ray Winstone), but a serum ends up in Natasha’s hands that can break Dreykov’s brainwashing. Natasha begins searching for The Red Room and Dreykov, which also has her crossing paths with other spies that posed as her family members; her “sister” Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh), her “father” Alexai Shostakov (David Harbour), and her “mother” Melina Vostokoff (Rachel Weisz).

The biggest selling point for Black Widow is that it’s a mostly female cast in front of and behind the camera. The film is directed by Cate Shortland and Black Widow is her first big budget feature. It’s also co-written by female screenwriter Jac Schaeffer (uncredited co-screenwriter of Captain Marvel) and Ned Benson (director of The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby).

Taskmaster is cool in the film until you realize the character has been altered from his comic book origins. This isn’t uncommon in the MCU or even other live-action superhero adaptations, but what the character has become in the film will be received with mixed results. In the comics, Taskmaster’s real identity is Anthony Masters and he’s a mercenary not unlike Deadpool (the two have fought together and against each other). Copying fighting styles and weapon techniques is similar to the film, but it’s all thanks to his incredible memory and photographic reflexes.

The character is altered to fit the story in the Black Widow film. It’s not necessarily a bad thing as it gives a bigger purpose for the character since it suddenly becomes a major part of Natasha’s storyline, but how the character evolves over the course of the film seems to almost relieve Natasha of her past sins rather than continue to serve as a catalyst. Taskmaster is generally involved in some of the best hand-to-hand combat sequences, but seems to be left hanging by the end of the film. We could see the character again, but whether or not the desire is there to see Taskmaster return is debatable.

The free-fall sequence that has been teased in the trailers is Black Widow’s most unique source of action. There’s exploding elements and falling debris, Natasha trying to save someone’s life, and Taskmaster thrown in attempting to mess up whatever she has planned; plus a bunch of goons bringing up the rear that will obviously be taken out in peak fashion. The sequence is like a duel to the death taking place on the edge of a volcano that’s about to erupt. It’s on the verge of being overkill, but is just awesome enough to trigger all of the adrenaline in your body.

Kevin Feige apparently wanted an equal amount of screen time for both Natasha and Yelena. With the after-credits sequence, Natasha being very dead after the events of Infinity War, and the reports that Yelena may be the new Black Widow, she’s essentially the star of the film and for good reason. The character begins as an individual with a chip on her shoulder from someone from her past, but Florence Pugh is able to add humor and empathy with her performance. Yelena has the best one-liners in the film (“That would be a cool way to die,”) and is essentially the best source of comedic relief (i.e. her hysterectomy rant), as well. She is the one character in the film you’d want to see more of after Black Widow ends.

The storyline of Black Widow doesn’t feel like anything you haven’t experienced cinematically before, especially within the confines of the MCU. An evil man is responsible for pulling the strings of a bunch of women that would kick his ass otherwise. Unfortunately, Ray Winstone doesn’t feel all that intimidating as Dreykov since he doesn’t do much besides talk in Black Widow. The point is made in the film that is all there’s really needed of the character, but Dreykov’s biggest weapon is his mouth. However, his verbal skills don’t seem advantageous enough to make him such a threat let alone keep him alive for over 20 years.

It also feels like every MCU film has its on-screen characters competing over who can get the most laughs; this is something that only got worse after Thor: Ragnarok proved to be a success. Marvel films are already so formulaic with most villains being introduced and killed within the confines of a single film. Natasha’s spy family all feel like minor extensions of herself. Rachel Weisz, despite not aging a day in nearly 30 years, is forgettable as Melina. David Harbour is essentially his character from Stranger things cosplaying as Mr. Incredible with a Russian accent. Even Florence Pugh’s Yelena Belova character is basically a blonde younger version of Natasha even though they’re not related by blood.

Black Widow clocks in at over two hours and it feels like a film that could have been edited down. Witnessing the events of a dysfunctional spy family who then spend good chunks of the film reminiscing about those moments the audience has already seen is redundant storytelling that feels like nothing more than filler.

Black Widow is worth seeing for Florence Pugh, the free-fall action sequence, and anything involving Taskmaster before it’s revealed who is under the mask. Everything else about Black Widow feels like it was done better by the films it was supposedly influenced by and mostly feels like a diluted imitation of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. It’s fantastic that women are getting more opportunities in big summer blockbusters like this one, but it’s also disheartening since their filmmaking skills are shackled to formulaic superfluity that obviously stands in the way of creating extraordinary cinema.
  
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Bong Mines Entertainment (15 KP) rated Ella Mai by Ella Mai in Music

Jun 7, 2019 (Updated Jun 7, 2019)  
Ella Mai by Ella Mai
Ella Mai by Ella Mai
2018 | Rhythm And Blues, Soul
8
7.5 (2 Ratings)
Album Rating
Ella Mai is a talented R&B/Soul singer from London, England. Not too long ago, she released her deliciously impressive self-titled debut studio album, which uses her name as an acronym to communicate its message.

Ella Mai – “Good Bad”

‘Good Bad’ tells the story of a moody woman who’s not perfect. One day, she has a pleasant personality, and another, an attitude. If she was single, her behavior might go unnoticed, but the thing is she isn’t single.

She’s in an up-and-down relationship with a guy she desires. And oftentimes, he thinks she’s mad at him whenever she gets in one of her bad moods. Also, she knows her good side is the reason why he doesn’t get up and leave. But in a weird way, he likes her bad side.

‘Good Bad’ contains a relatable storyline, soul vocals, and a groovy neo-soul instrumentation produced by Nana Rogues.

Ella Mai – “Dangerous”

‘Dangerous’ tells the tale of a woman who’s in a loving relationship with a guy she’s deeply in love with. She cooks breakfast for him because he shows he deserves her love. But the danger comes in play when she risks it all by putting her all in their relationship, which has no guarantee.

‘Dangerous’ contains a romantic narrative, r&b/soul vocals, and a spunky Bryan-Michael Cox-produced instrumentation oozing with a poppin’ neo-dance flavor.

Ella Mai – “Sauce”

‘Sauce’ tells the tale of an attractive female with a confident, stylish nature. She’s in a new relationship with a guy who’s already head-over-heels in love with her. But the thing is they haven’t been together that long. Either he’s trippin’ or addicted to her sauce.

‘Sauce’ contains a relevant storyline, r&b/soul vocals, and bouncy instrumentation produced by Quintin Gulledge and DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Whatchamacallit” feat. Chris Brown

‘Whatchamacallit’ tells a tale of a guy and a girl who’s in a secret relationship with each other. The woman has a boyfriend and the man has a girlfriend but that doesn’t stop them from committing a romantic crime. They know their sensual action is wrong, but it feels so right that they override their conscience.

‘Whatchamacallit’ contains an exciting storyline, wonderful soul vocals, and charismatic instrumentation produced by J Holt and DJ Mustard.

“Cheap Shot”


‘Cheap Shot’ tells the tale of a woman who has a dude who loves her, but she didn’t know beforehand how he felt until now. The term ‘cheap shop’ indicates that he takes advantage of her when she’s at her weakest point in life. A time when she just needs to chill instead of going through the emotions of love all over again.

‘Cheap Shots’ contains a relatable storyline, r&b soul vocals, and lush instrumentation produced by Harmony Samuels.

Ella Mai – “Shot Clock”

‘Shot Clock’ tells the tale of a woman who’s been dating a guy for five years. She thinks he’s playing games about commitment, therefore, she gives him 24-seconds to make a decision. But if the shot clock winds down to zero, he might find his babe in the arms of another man.

‘Shot Clock’ contains a relatable storyline, r&b/soul vocals, and charismatic instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Boo’d Up”

The video finds Ella and her man riding Go Karts inside an amusement area with several friends. The newly-formed couple is happy and boo’d up in public.

‘Boo’d Up’ is a contemporary love song that finds Ella reminiscing about a past lover. Although their relationship is over, she finds it hard getting over that special person who makes her heartbeat bounce abnormally.

‘Boo’d Up’ contains a relatable narrative, gorgeous soul vocals, and ear-welcoming instrumentation oozing with classic neo-soul elements. The track was produced by Larrance Dopson and DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Everything” feat. John Legend

‘Everything’ tells a sweet tale of a woman who appreciates the guy she’s with. Both of them are giving their all to keep their relationship healthy. According to the woman, they have everything they want.

‘Everything’ contains a relatable storyline, soul-pop vocals, and lovely instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard, Dayyon Alexander, and Jeff Alexander.

“Own It”

‘Own It’ tells an erotic tale of a woman who’s ready to get down and dirty with her significant other. She has on a T-shirt and panties and he’s on his knees servicing her body. Fluids are dripping and they are talkin’ naughty to each other while making love all night long.

‘Own It’ contains a sexy narrative, soul vocals, and slow-grinding instrumentation produced by Kosine and Miykal Snoddy.

“Run My Mouth”

‘Run My Mouth’ tells a tale of a woman who’s in love with a guy she’s in a relationship with. She’s addicted to making love to him, and every time they make love she runs her mouth in a good way because the sex is good.

‘Run My Mouth’ contains a sexy storyline, charismatic vocals, and melodic-trap instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.

“Gut Feeling” feat. H.E.R.

‘Gut Feeling’ tells the tale of a young woman; her intuition tells her that the guy she’s in love with is guilty of something. She searches his phone looking for clues of his infidelity but finds nothing. Later that day, she asks him to come clean if he’s doing something wrong such as cheating, etc.

‘Gut Feeling’ contains a relatable storyline, charming soul vocals, and lovely instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Trip”

‘Trip’ tells the tale of a woman who’s addicted to making good love with her significant other. But when she doesn’t get it, she overreacts or gets bent out of shape.

‘Trip’ contains a relatable storyline, soothing soul vocals, and piano-laden instrumentation produced by Keys and DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Close”

‘Close’ tells the tale of a woman who appreciates the man she’s in love with. All day every day she thinks about him. Apparently, she’s not an easy person to be with, but somehow, his easygoingness balances her nature when they are close in each other’s arms.

‘Close’ contains a sensual storyline, charming melodies, and charismatic instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Easy”

‘Easy’ tells the tale of a woman who’s in a new relationship with a guy she desires. Apparently, he’s a little uneasy about commitment. She reassures him that he should let his guard down and not worry. Therefore, she makes it easy for him to fall in love with her.

‘Easy’ contains an evergreen narrative, soul vocals, and ear-welcoming instrumentation produced by Lido and DJ Mustard.

Ella Mai – “Naked” (Bonus Track)

‘Naked’ tells the tale of a woman who’s looking for a guy who will love her unconditionally. Someone who will look past her flaws. Someone who will say she’s beautiful even when she doesn’t look the part.

‘Naked’ contains a relatable storyline, wonderful soul vocals, and sexy instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
“Ella Mai”
Ella Mai

In conclusion, Ella Mai’s self-titled debut studio album is a wonderful work of art. We totally enjoyed listening to each song from beginning to end.

Also, her voice sets a gorgeous tone while projecting an appealing and relatable narrative mostly focused on the up-side of romantic relationships, which contributes to the album’s feel-good vibe.

Mai’s first full-length offering is deliciously impressive and solidifies the London songstress at the helm of the contemporary R&B market.

https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/ella-mai-debut-album/
  
Bloodborne
Bloodborne
Role-Playing
Incredible atmosphere (5 more)
Great variety of enemies
Beautiful art and imagery
Interesting Lore (optional)
Plenty of different ways to play
Great combat mechanics
Can be difficult (1 more)
Not as easy and some people make it look
Challenging and Satisfying
Contains spoilers, click to show
Bloodborne is part of the famous series of games such as Demon Souls and Dark Souls, which if you know those previous games, you'll know that they are infamous for their difficulty, even spawning an entire meme phrase that simply says "git gud".

Bloodborne however, stands aside from the souls series because it's combat mechanics are faster and each enemy requires the player to evolve their skills and tactics in order to progress. The first major difference in Bloodborne that might throw previous souls players off, is the fact that there is no shield. Instead the Hunter wields a right handed melee weapon and in the left hand they wild a ranged weapon in place of a shield. This ranged weapon at first is primarily used not for damage, but for parry's/counter attacks.

The lack of shield helps the player evolve their combat from hiding behind a shield like in the souls games, to being more aggressive in a fight but also tactical because during your first run through of the game, you'll simply be dealing with each enemy through trial and error until you learn their attacks and learn how to defeat them. This is something that has been in every souls game and that is why these games are so rewarding.

The reason Bloodborne is my favourite is because of this speed that makes you evolve in combat. I ran into this game thinking it was like other RPG games where I could pretty much take on any beginning level enemy and even if they packed a punch I'd take out the enemy with a thin line of health left, only to use a few health potions and repeat. But Bloodborne? Good God you can't rush this game!

Every enemy has their own attack system that varies. Some Yarnhamites are more vicious that other, and some are more defensive and cautious. There are also enemies that are deceptive. If you were to come across a large, fat troll in a fantasy world, you'd expect them to be rather slow, especially when swinging a weapon. You'd only expect the force and weight of the weapon to give speed to a swing. But the large troll creatures in Bloodborne are deceptively fast and even if you keep some distance between you, they can leap really quickly and instantly pummel you with a cinder block.

But I'm not going to reveal too much about enemies because it's easier and more fun to test out the game for yourself.

Boss fights are the main factor for the infamous difficulty of the souls series and Bloodborne is no stranger to this element either. There are Two bosses in the beginning of the game. One is optional but I would highly recommend facing it. The other boss is your first taste (if you didn't kill the optional boss first) of the challenges you'll face. Both bosses help prepare for later boss fights because of their different combat styles.

The first (optional) boss is the Cleric Beast on the bridge in the beginning level, and it is intimidating as fuck for a beginner of the souls series. If you haven't watched or played a souls game before and you go into Bloodborne (or any of them) with no knowledge of the scale of bosses, then they are intimidating in comparison to your measly character size. However once you learn this boss, and face later bosses, you'll realize that this boss is one of the easiest to face.

The next boss and the main boss of the beginning level, who is not optional as defeating him let's you progress through the story, is Father Gascoigne, another Hunter in the world of Bloodborne and the first of many you'll come across but facing this hunter is by far one of the most painstakingly challenging beginning fights to a game I've ever had to face. In my first run through I died to him so so soooo many times and sometimes it was simply cos he was on low health and I got cocky and fucked up. However defeating this boss, and any boss in this game, really feels like an achievement.

I've realised iv made this review hella long but that's because Bloodborne cannot be easily reviewed in just a few words but I'll do my best to do a quick overall conclusion as to why this is my favourite game:

The level design isn't flawless but it is incredible and the atmosphere created through sound design and soundtrack make this game incredibly in depth and really creepy which I love because even after a few play through I still get creeped out and even jump at some of the jumpscares that I forget about!

The weapons of this game are all well designed aesthetically and though I know certain ones I never use, they are all useable depending on player preference and style of play. There's so much to choose from and learn and every item in this game has a description that teaches the player more about the Lore of the world but that is of course optional and isn't required necessarily to understand the games main quest plot.

This game also requires exploration because the path the player needs to take isn't set out for them which makes the game less linear meaning that you can play this game differently every time you play it. It also might mean that you'll need to look up the paths you need to take online or in a guide in order to just get through the game and complete it. Otherwise it could take you hours, maybe days to figure out where you need to go.

The combat mechanics of Bloodborne are some of the best I've ever seen and played with and that's why it stands out to me above the other souls games.

The boss fights are intense and each new boss helps the player to adapt and evolve their combat skills and tactics in order to overcome the enemy.

The world is very heavily Lovecraftian and therefore the Lore is incredible but also optional. Also, there are easier ways to fight this games enemies including bosses, so if you're struggling, then Google it and there will be hundreds of players in the same boat as you, and in my opinion there's no wrong way to play games like this. If it remains fun and let's me complete the storyline, such as summoning AI for boss battles in offline mode. Then play however you want to because it's you playing the game, not some internet troll who says you're shit and/or cheating the game. If it's possible to do in game, it's part of the game...deal with it!

There are faults such as minor framerate glitches, and glitches with the ragdoll bodies of defeated enemies falling through the environment. There are also some elements that are part of the game such as windows for visceral attacks and hitboxes which sometimes feel like bullshit, but this also helps you evolve so....pros and cons.

My final comment is this;

The best way to learn about this game and enjoy it, is to play it for yourself. It's hard to put into words (even this amount of words in this review) just how incredible this game looks and feels. So if you have a Playstation 4 then grab yourself a copy of Bloodborne and enjoy!

Fear the Old blood!
  
Trogdor!!: The Board Game
Trogdor!!: The Board Game
2019 | Adventure, Miniatures, Puzzle
I cannot possible explain to you how many hours of my college career were spent LMBO at the homestarrunner.com website. Teen Girl Squad. Strong Bad E-mails. The incredible Halloween episodes. If you know what I’m talking about, I hope you enjoyed some sense of beautiful nostalgia just now. So when I saw that someone was making a board game based on a secondary (or a thirdedary) character from one of my favorite websites from my not-so-youth I knew it would be mine someday. That day has come and I am here to report my thoughts on Trogdor!! The Board Game.

Trogdor!! The Board Game, which I’m just gonna start calling Trogdor!!, is a cooperative area burninating puzzle adventure game for only the coolest of the cool. The twist on this game, if you are unfamiliar with Trogdor or Homsar, is that the players are all essentially cultists who assist Trogdor to burninate the countryside, all the cottages, and chomp the peasants or send them to the Void.

DISCLAIMER: Though this was Kickstarted, I did not splurge on the deluxe version, so I have the meepled version and it does just fine. Furthermore, I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T

To setup the game (and I found this part tedious) lay out the countryside tiles according to one of the suggested layouts in the back of the rule book or simply wherever you want in a 5×5 grid. This is your game board now. Also place out the thatched-roof cottages, peasants, knights, and archers. Trogdor starts the game in the middle tile, prepped for his burnination run. Each player also receives a Keeper of Trogdor persona card that provides special abilities, an item card that can be used during play, and an action card that determines how many action points a player may use as well as possibly special abilities to use for the turn. Troghammer starts the game on the Trog-meter, ready to come onto the board to wreak hammery havoc on our hero.

A turn consists of two phases. The first phase has the current player drawing an action card which intimates the number of action points (AP) the player can use for actions: Move Trogdor one space orthogonally, Chomp a peasant to increase health, Burninate a tile/cottage/peasant, Burrow into a tunnel and pop out the other side, or Hide in the mountains. Movement is easy: move Trogdor one space per AP you’d like to spend. Chomping requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as a peasant, but then you can chow down on them to increase our deity’s health bar. Burninating also requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as the tile/cottage/peasant you want to burninate. The Lake tile has special burninating rules, as do thatched-roof cottages. I will also allow you to learn about burninating peasants on your own, as it is pretty amazing. Burrowing requires Trogdor to be on a tunnel tile and spend an AP to teleport to the other tunnel (a la Small World). Trogdor may also simply Hide on a mountain tile to be protected from the attackers that act during the next phase. If players to not like either the action card they were dealt or the card they drew, they may simply discard a card to take their turn with 5 AP and no special abilities.

The next phase is where the board elements do their thang. The active player will draw and play a movement card. From instructions on this card the board may spawn more peasants, will move the peasants, will move the knights and also archers. Peasants do not fight Trogdor, but they can possibly repair burninated tiles. Knights WILL hurt Trogdor whenever they pass through or end their turn on the same tile as Trogdor. Knights will also automatically repair any burninated thatched-roof cottages they pass through. Troghammer is a special knight who only comes into play once Trogdor is hurt the first time. Archers will attack an entire column or row depending on which direction they were traveling when they ended their movement. If Trogdor still has peasants on the Trog-meter (representing health), then the next player takes their turn. If Trogdor has no more health and he is hit again, he enters a fiery RAGE! I will let you discover what happens during this event also.

The players win when all the tiles, cottages, and peasants have been burninated or eliminated from the board. They lose when Trogdor is defeated and they have not completed their victory conditions.

Components. It’s always so hard to really know exactly what you will be receiving when you Kickstart a game. Especially from a company not known for board games, and which has never produced a board game. So, I was anticipating something entirely different as I was opening my box. This is what I received: excellent tiles with UV spot on each side (super fancy!). I usually don’t care about UV spot anywhere on my game, but that seems to be en vogue now, so I’ll just try to enjoy it when I can. The other cardboard bits are great too. The cards are of great quality, but I went ahead and sleeved the action and movement cards since I knew they would be handled quite a bit. The Trogeeples (jeez) all are of great quality, and I really appreciate the additional Trogdor meeples included. I had a big chuckle about that. The artwork is comical (like in a comic) and I also appreciated all the Strong Bad enhancements as well. The only negative I have about the components of the game is the ridiculous thin box of air that was included as a buffer near the insert. I threw it out, put my sleeved action and movement cards in a plastic deck box in its place and now I’m much happier.

Overall, I had such a blast playing this game. Is it mostly due to nostalgia and reverie? Perhaps. But, Bryan was playing this with us and he didn’t know anything about Trogdor or Homestar Runner. He also really enjoyed the game, so I think the level of familiarity doesn’t matter. Obviously I did not explain EVERY rule to the game, but hopefully by my quick description my readers get a good idea of how the game plays. I can honestly say that I love love love this game and will treasure it always. If/when I see this at my FLGS I may just buy up all the copies to give as gifts. It’s really good. That’s why Purple Phoenix Games give this one an MSG’d 15 / 18. Oh, and you’re welcome for my holding back of all the quotes I COULD HAVE put in this review. I could have really earned my nerd card renewal.
  
Tail Story
Tail Story
2020 | Animals, Card Game, Print & Play
The saying goes, “If you can dream it, you can achieve it.” I know there were points in my life when I wanted to be a rock star, a zookeeper, or even a professional mascot. But who says that dreams only apply to people? Our beloved pets can dream too! Haven’t you ever seen a sleeping pup, legs twitching from an imaginary chase? Or caught your cat prowling around, as if on a secret mission? What do animals dream about? Well, Tail Story allows you to create dreams and achieve the impossible with your chosen pet!

Disclaimer: We were provided with a preview copy of Tail Story for the purposes of this review. Some of the components pictured are not final, and will be addressed in production. Also, I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook, but rather provide an overview of the rules and game flow. -L

Tail Story is a competitive card game in which players are racing to become the most memorable pet in history! How? By partaking in various events and gathering a total of 4 Achievements. Here’s how it works. To setup, each player takes a player mat, and randomly draws a Queue Card. Players then get to choose a Character card – a pet from either the Canine, Feline, or Rodent & Friends type. Shuffle the Event cards, deal 15 to each player, everyone draws 5 cards to their hand, and the game is ready to begin! The player who drew Queue Card 1 is the first player, and play continues in numerical order.

Each turn consists of 5 steps: Draw, Play, Bonus, Deck Check, and End of Turn. The first step is always to Draw 1 card from your deck. In the Play Step, you choose one action to perform. Each player has 2 Action Points (AP) per turn, and those are spent here in the Play Step. All Event cards require either 1 or 2 AP to play, and the other standard actions in the Play Step require either 0 or 1 AP to perform (Check out the Reference Cards pictured below to see the possible actions). After performing 1 action, you move to the Bonus Step, where a player may choose to activate a Bonus ability. The Deck Check step is next. All players count how many cards remain in their Draw piles. If all decks still have at least 1 card, you jump back to the Play Step and perform another action. If any deck is out of cards, that player reshuffles their discard pile, and places a card from their hand face-down on their player mat to signify that they have collected an Achievement. Even if another player collects an Achievement on your turn, play then returns to you, and you jump back to the Play Step again. The last step is the End of Turn – a player decides to be done and ends their turn, discarding their hand down to 5 cards. The game ends when a player has collected their 4th Achievement.


Here’s a neat twist though – whenever you play a card, any opponent can choose to play a Stop card to prevent you from performing that action! And then, if you have a Stop card too, you could play it to cancel out their Stop card. This twist adds a strategic and competitive element to the game that elevates it to the next level. There’s a fun little element of role-play too that encourages you to get into your animal character – I’ll leave that for you to discover on your own!
I know that seems like quite a lot, but once you get into the swing of things, Tail Story plays pretty quickly. One thing I particularly like about this game is that it requires a decent amount of strategy. Everyone is racing to get through their Draw decks and collect Achievements, while at the same time hindering the progress of their opponents. Are you willing to risk a valuable Stop card to cancel the action of an opponent and hope that they don’t play a Stop card back to you? Should you play a card that could activate your Bonus ability now or wait for your next action to pull a fast one over on your opponents? Your strategy has to be adjustable on the fly depending on what cards your opponents are playing. There is no single right strategy to win, and the riskiness makes the game more exciting and engaging.

Another thing I really like about Tail Story is that there are really only 4 different Event cards that can be played. Yes, the artwork may vary, but ultimately the actions are the same. They rely on key text and color coding to communicate their uses, and after a few rounds, recognizing those effects is easy. One thing I wish is that the reference cards had these effect explanation instead of only being listed in the rulebook. Just for a quick glance if you need a reminder instead of having to look back in the rules for the full text. The reference cards do have the Turn Steps and possible Actions on them, which are helpful – don’t get me wrong!


I would recommend Tail Story at the higher player counts for maximum enjoyment. With only 2 players, it feels like it drags on a bit because it is only a back-and-forth game. With 3-4 players, you have more opponents with which to interact, and playing cards against others doesn’t feel as targeted and keeps the game play more light-hearted than cut-throat.

Let’s talk about components. As I mentioned earlier, this is only a preview copy of the game, so some elements are still not finalized. The player mats are only paper right now, but I anticipate that they will be sturdier in final production. That being said, the information on the player mats is awesome. They provide enough information to understand where everything goes, while not being so wordy that they are confusing. I am excited to see what kind of color scheme they come up with for the player mats, to match the artwork of the cards. On to the cards – they are amazing. For starters, the cards are nice, sturdy, and thick. Definitely a game that will not easily succumb to bent corners or torn cards. The actual artwork of the cards is perfect. Each card is detailed, colorful, and appropriate for their respective card names. Probably the coolest part of the cards is that they all have a holographic finish on them. This really makes the artwork pop and makes you admire every card instead of just reading the text. That being said, the holographic finish makes the cards stick together a little more – not a huge detriment, but something to be aware of and careful with when drawing or playing cards! The game box is a cute little box with a magnet closure that is perfect for easy transportation.
Overall, I would say that I love Tail Story. It’s fun, fast-paced, strategic, and exciting. Being able to choose from 3 Character types (Canine, Feline, Rodent & Friends) gives you the opportunity to play a different game, with a different strategy, every time. With more plays, the special text of cards is engrained in your head, which means that it can play even faster and with no interruptions to check rules. It’s definitely a memorable game, and one that I can see myself pulling out often on game nights. I am excited to see this campaign launch, and for the sake of all animal dreams out there, you should check it out!
  
Peak Oil Profiteer
Peak Oil Profiteer
2021 | Economic, Environmental, Humor, Political, Transportation
One of the most important energy resources in the world is oil. We have a finite amount, it is used in our everyday lives, and it is always in demand. So imagine if a country found a new supply of oil – everyone would be fighting for a piece! Enter Peak Oil Profiteer, a game that puts you in charge of an oil corporation vying for money and oil in this new-found oil vein. Sound like something you might be interested in? Keep reading and see what it’s all about!

Disclaimer: For this preview, we played the Tabletopia version of the game. The pictures you will see below are screenshots from my plays online. Also, I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook, but rather provide a general overview of the rules and gameplay. For a more in-depth look, check it out when it hits Kickstarter! -L

Peak Oil Profiteer is an economic game of area majority/movement, network building, and simultaneous action selection in which players take on the roles of oil corporations competing to make the most money in an oil-rich country before corruption overtakes the land. There is a power struggle between 3 Factions, so play your cards right (literally) to come out ahead. To setup for a game, set the board in the middle of the table, populate the 3 Faction Tracks with their corresponding cubes, place the Corruption cube on 93%, create the Contingency deck (as described in the rules), shuffle the Blackmail deck, and give each player their 5 Action cards, starting Money, and 3 Pawns in their color. Flip all 9 Leader tokens face-down, shuffle them, and randomly give one to each player, placing the remaining Leader tokens face-up near the board.

The game is played over a series of rounds. At the start of every round, one card from the Contingency deck will be revealed/resolved. Contingency cards will either be Events (that will most likely alter the rules for the current round), or Consultants (to be ‘hired’ by an individual player for special abilities). Once the Contingency card has been dealt with, the round moves to the next phase: Action Selection. All players have the same 5 Action cards, numbered 1-5, available to them every round. Players will select one of their 5 Action cards and place it face-down in front of them. Then, in numerical order, all Action cards will be resolved. When your Action number has been called, you will reveal your Action card, perform the corresponding action, and take the card back into your hand. Once all players have performed their Action for the round, check the Corruption track – if it has reached 100% then the game ends, and if not then the game moves to a new round.

The 5 Actions available to all player are: 1. Networking, 2. Sell Weapons, 3. Buy Drilling Rights, 4. Sell Oil, and 5. Contingency. Networking allows you to collect Blackmail in order to win control of Faction Leaders. You may only Sell Weapons to a Faction if you control at least one of its Leaders. You will earn a set amount of Money, and a new Troop cube will be added to the game board. To Buy Drilling Rights from a Faction, you again need to control at least one of its Leaders. Pay for the rights, and then add one of your Pawns to that region of the board. Once you’ve got Drilling Rights, you can Sell Oil. Remove your Pawn from the corresponding region, and collect the appropriate amount of Money. And lastly, Contingency allows you to either ‘hire’ a Consultant, or perform an extra action as a result of an Event.


The amount of Money that you pay/earn for each of the actions is dictated by the Faction Tracks. For example, the price of Weapons decreases as Factions get more Troops on the board, which means you won’t earn as much selling to a Faction with lots of Troops in play. You have to time your Actions wisely in order to maximize your profit! If, at the end of a round, the Corruption track has reached 100%, the game ends. Players count up their Money, and the player with the highest earnings is declared the winner.
Although the theme isn’t something that would normally appeal to me, I have to say that Peak Oil
Profiteer is a solid game. The gameplay is straightforward, the player interaction is competitive but not combative, and the strategy keeps you engaged all game. The ultimate goal is to earn the most Money, and the Faction Track creates sort of a “commodity speculation” type mechanic to the gameplay. The costs vary depending on the Faction Track, and it can be manipulated by all players. That in and of itself creates some fun player interaction because the Faction Track affects all players. Doing something to block an opponent now may come back to bite you next round. Another neat element about Peak Oil Profiteer is that players select their Actions simultaneously, and they are then resolved in numerical order. Depending on where your turn falls in the round, you might be able to do just what you had planned, unless an opponent went before you and changed the game layout. There is an amount of uncertainty that forces players to adjust their strategy on the fly and adapt to the current situation.


I will say that resolving Actions in numerical order does kind of add an element of Action Programming, if you will. Once you have selected your Action this round, you are locked in. No matter what happens before your turn, you must perform your selected Action if at all possible. It creates some neat strategic opportunities, but at the same time, can feel like you’ve been blocked out. Just something to consider! Normally, I would touch on components, but as this was a Tabletopia version of the game, I can’t really do so. I will say that the art style and card/board layouts online are thematic and immersive. If the physical version of the game looks anything like this digital version, it’ll be a good looking game! One component that I especially appreciated was that each player gets a Player Reference/Round Reference card. It gives you the information you need without being too wordy, and it stops you from having to refer back to the rule book every turn. So big thanks from me for that!

Having never played the original Peak Oil game, I have to say that Peak Oil Profiteer made a good impression on me. It’s fast to teach and learn, engaging, and strategic enough to keep you thinking. The fluctuation of the Faction Track, and the order of Action resolution add elements of uncertainty and ‘luck’ (if you will) that keep the game from having a clear run-away winner. Everyone is in it until the very end, and the race for the most Money is a nail-biter for sure. If you’re looking for something interactive but not too confrontational, while also putting your strategic chops to the test, consider backing Peak Oil Profiteer on Kickstarter!
  
Tiny Epic Mechs
Tiny Epic Mechs
2019 | Abstract Strategy
I am someone who loves strategy. It is fun for me to create elaborate plans and see them through to either success or failure. Ok, it’s fun to see them succeed, not so much fail. BUT either way – I like to have a plan. So when Tiny Epic Mechs launched on Kickstarter, I was a little wary. Action programming? Can’t that effectively negate any strategy you have set up? I was on the fence. But I backed it anyway. So was my investment a good one, or did my programmed action of picking up this game backfire and leave me KO’d?

Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but give a general overview of turns and gameplay. For a more in-depth look at the rules, pick up a copy of the game from the publisher or your FLGS! -L

Tiny Epic Mechs is a game of action programming in which players take on the roles of Mech pilots competing in an arena-style battle royale event. Through the purchase of new weapons, powering up into Mech suits, combat with opponents (either face-to-face, or through the deployment of mines and turrets), and controlling different zones of the arena, players are trying to earn the most Victory Points by the end of 6 rounds of play. To begin, follow the setup instructions for the arena, based on the player count. Each player receives a player card (to track resources, and also acts as a reference card), a Pilot card, components in their chosen player color, and 1 Basic Weapon card to equip on their Pilot. Set the Round Tracker to round 1, create a market row of Advanced Weapons, place the Mighty Mech suit on it’s corresponding zone card, and the game is ready to begin!

Each round consists of 3 phases: Program, Execution, and Scoring. During the Program phase, players will secretly choose 4 Program Cards from their hand to represent their 4 moves/actions for this round. The chosen Program Cards will be laid out in order above the player card, and will immediately be covered by a face-down unused Program Card. (There are 8 Program Cards total, only 4 of which are used each round). It is important to note that the orientation of the Program Cards matters – Program Cards must be played parallel to the zone cards of the arena. Since they dictate the directions in which you move, you must place them exactly as you want to move. During the second phase, Execution, players will take turns revealing their Program Cards, one at a time and in order, and resolving the actions. To Execute a Program Card, you will first move your Pilot in the direction of the card’s arrow, and then resolve the action listed on the card. Movement is a must and cannot be skipped.

After Movement, you may perform the action on your card – Collect Resources, Purchase a Weapon, Deploy a Mine or a Turret, or Power Up. The first three of these are pretty self-explanatory. The Power Up action allows your Pilot to either heal themselves or upgrade into a Mech suit. Now to discuss crux of the game – combat. During the Execution phase, if you enter into the same zone as another player, you must immediately begin Combat. You will use your equipped weapons to battle your opponent, in hopes of knocking them out or forcing them to retreat. Weapons will deal base damage, or Power Attack damage, based on the circumstances of the combat. To attack with a weapon, you will deal the base damage immediately to your opponent. After your attack, the weapon you used is Exhausted and cannot be used again this combat. Your opponent then has the chance to attack back – either regularly or via Power Attack (I’ll leave that for you to discover on your own). Combat continues, alternating between players, until either a player is KO’d, or is forced to retreat because all of their weapons have been Exhausted. Initiating combat, dealing damage, and defeating your opponent all earn you VP, so combat is a vital part of the game!


After all players have revealed and performed their final Program Card, the round ends. At the end of the 2nd, 4th, and 6th round, players will perform a Scoring phase, earning points for any zones occupied by their own mines, turrets, or Pilot. At the end of the 6th and final round, scoring takes place as stated above, but players will also earn VP for all weapons they have purchased throughout the game. The player with the highest VP is the winner!
I have to admit that I am not a person who generally enjoys the mechanic of action programming. I like to really think through my strategy, and execute it exactly as I want. Action programming makes strategizing more difficult because your success or failure depends on the actions selected in advance by your opponents. You can’t really adapt mid-round, you kind of just have to deal with what’s happening. That being said, Tiny Epic Mechs, in my opinion, has a good balance of combat and actions/resource management. Your entire strategy can’t be based on combat – you need to upgrade weapons, climb into your Mech suit, etc. – and the ability to vary combat with individual upgrades makes the gameplay feel more strategic. Yes, your opponents might still mess up some of your best-laid plans, but you have to be prepared for any situation.

The overall gameplay can feel calculated or chaotic simply based on the player count. In a 2-player game, obviously there are only 2 people, and you have more opportunities to really focus on your individual Pilot before necessarily traipsing into combat. In a game with 3 or 4 players, interactions between players are inevitable and can really make the action programming mechanic stand out/feel more random/etc. Especially with a small play arena, Pilots will be crossing paths at probably every turn, and you may be forced into more combats that you anticipated. With only 2 players, there are interactions between players, but it feels a little more calm overall, and you can really work with a strategy instead of having to adapt to sudden changes in the arena.


Let’s touch on components for a minute. As always, this Tiny Epic delivers on quality components. The cards are colorful and sturdy, the text easy to read. The wooden components for tracking health/resources are good, but maybe just a little too small, even for my regularly-sized hands. The ITEMeeples, Mech suits, and weapons are always fun to play with, and sturdy enough to hold up to lots of plays. All in all, great work from Gamelyn Games once again.
For being a game of action programming, I have to admit that I enjoyed Tiny Epic Mechs more than I thought I would. At least at a 2-player count. Anything more feels too chaotic and random to me. The elements of programming and combat are engaging and elevate the gameplay, but it’s just not my favorite mechanic. Will I keep this game? Definitely. For what it is, I think it does a good job. Will I get more action programming games in the future? Probably not. I’d say Tiny Epic Mechs fills that spot for me, and that is all good in my book. Check this one out if you’re looking for something fun and relatively simple that utilizes this mechanic. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a mechanical 7 / 12.