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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated The Artemis Project in Tabletop Games
Apr 6, 2021
I don’t know about you, but I spend more time than I should probably admit perusing Kickstarter and checking out new projects. Although, that is how I came across The Artemis Project. A game about exploration and colonization of one of Jupiter’s moons? Yes please! The campaign looked promising, the gameplay looked engaging, and the hype was real. Once I finally got the game, did it live up to my expectations? Keep reading to find out!
The Artemis Project is a game of dice/worker placement in which players are trying to build and sustain a prosperous colony on Jupiter’s moon Europa. Played over 6 rounds, players will take turns rolling and placing dice across the regions of the board to collect resources, construct buildings, recruit and train colonists, and partake in expeditions to explore this vast ice-land. To begin, follow the setup instructions in the rulebook for the appropriate player count. Each player receives a player board, dice, and markers in their chosen color. Populate the board for the first round, select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, as there are just too many details. For a more in-depth look at The Artemis Project, pick up a copy from your FLGS or directly from the publisher! -L
To start each round, all players will simultaneously roll all 5 of their dice. Once players are happy with their results, the round is ready to properly begin. Each round is broken into three phases: Placement, Resolution, and Upkeep. To begin the Placement phase, starting with the first player, players will take turns assigning one die at a time to the 7 regions of the board. These regions are: Basecamp, Vents, Quarry, Gantry, Doorstep, Academy, and Outfitters. (I will explain each region in more detail in the next section!) The value of the dice placed in any region is important, because it will dictate what you are allowed to do, or when you are allowed to resolve the action for that region – so choose your placements wisely.
Once every player has placed all 5 of their dice, the Resolution phase begins. During the Resolution phase, each of the regions of the board will be resolved in order, allowing players to perform their region-specific actions. Resolution starts with Basecamp. Placing dice at Basecamp allows players to partake in Expeditions in an effort to earn Expedition Badges (which translate to end-game VP), as well as extra rewards. Each Expedition has a difficulty level which must be equaled or surpassed by the total of all dice placed on that card. If the difficulty is surpassed, the Expedition is a success and rewards are doled out accordingly, but if the Expedition fails, no rewards are earned by anyone.
The next 2 regions, Vents and Quarry, allow players to collect Energy and Minerals, respectively, and are resolved in the same way. Players will collect a number of resources equal to their played die value. Pretty straight-forward! Moving on to the Gantry region, the value of dice placed on any building tiles are considered bids for buying/constructing that building. You can bid against opponents for building tiles, but each bid must increase the previous amount. When resolving the Gantry, the highest value die on a tile is the winner, and that player must pay their die-amount in Minerals to collect that tile. Buildings are added to your colony, and allow you to perform special actions once they are fully-staffed (all colonist slots on the tile are filled).
Next is the Doorstep – depending on the value of dice you placed there, you will be able to recruit 1-3 new colonists. Recruiting a colonist costs you 2 Energy per new addition, and any new colonists you recruit can be placed immediately into any of your buildings (if space is available), or into your Shelter where they will wait to be used. The Academy region allows you to exchange a colonist of your choice for one of a different type/occupation, again, depending on the value of the die used. And finally, the Outfitters region does not resolved during this phase, because it’s action is performed immediately upon dice placement. Any dice placed to the Outfitters gives Tool Kits (used to manipulate die values at the start of each round) to the player, based upon the die value.
The remaining element of the Resolution phase is the Even card. At the start of each round, an Event card is drawn, and will pertain to a certain region of the board. During the Resolution phase, when that region is reached, the Event card will be resolved – either penalizing players or benefitting them in some way. I have purposefully left out a few elements of the Resolution phase for you to discover on your own!
Once all regions have been resolved, the round moves to the Upkeep phase. During this phase, all players can choose to move 1 colonist to a building tile, or swap any 2 colonists between buildings. This is not required, but can only be performed once during this phase. Next, if any players have fully-staffed buildings (all colonist slots are filled), they may activate the listed ability. And finally, for any colonists left in your shelter and not in a building, you must pay 1 Energy for each to keep them warm! The game board is now refreshed for the next round, a new starting player is selected, and the new round is ready to begin. After the 6th and final round, VPs are tallied – earned through number of building tiles, Expedition Badges, sets of resources, and sets of colonists – and the player with the most VP is the winner!
I know that seems like a lot, but I promise that once you start the first round, everything is pretty intuitive and the game flows well. The turn sequence and phases are logical and easy to understand. The game board itself has lots of helpful icons that work as reminders throughout gameplay, and the rulebook has a nice and concise round overview on the last page as well, which is easy to refer back to at a moment’s notice. I’ll go ahead and touch on components here, since I kind of already started to do so. The components in this game are great! The game board and cards are all sturdy and have colorful and immersive artwork. The dual-layered player boards are high quality, the colonist meeples are cute and effective, the building tiles and cardboard chits are strong and can definitely hold up to many plays, and the dice are easy to roll and read. Definitely an A+ on components from me.
I have to admit that The Artemis Project surprised me. At its core, it is a worker placement game, and that in and of itself lends itself to a certain gameplay. You’re trying to complete your own agenda, being the first to snag those important placements that you need to accomplish those goals, while also blocking opponents from doing the same. The thing that makes The Artemis Project unique is that the ‘workers’ in this game are dice. And their value is what dictates the resolution of each region. Just because you place a die in a region first, does not necessarily mean that you will get to resolve first – depending on how your opponents play, they could block you entirely! The use of dice adds an extra layer of strategy to the gameplay that really elevates it beyond a simple worker placement mechanic. Another great thing about this game is that there is no one way to win – there are several strategies that you could play by in an effort to earn VPs. Maybe you are trying to complete as many Expeditions as possible, or want to construct as many buildings as possible. Either strategy can work, and all strategies can easily be adapted and altered during gameplay.
I am so happy that I came across this game on Kickstarter. The game is strategic, engaging, and just fun to play. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of worker placement games, but the approach to the mechanic taken by The Artemis Project really puts a unique twist on it that adds to the gameplay. This is one KickStarter that was definitely worth the investment. Check it out if you haven’t heard of it, or if you’re looking to elevate your worker placement games. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an enterprising 10 / 12.
The Artemis Project is a game of dice/worker placement in which players are trying to build and sustain a prosperous colony on Jupiter’s moon Europa. Played over 6 rounds, players will take turns rolling and placing dice across the regions of the board to collect resources, construct buildings, recruit and train colonists, and partake in expeditions to explore this vast ice-land. To begin, follow the setup instructions in the rulebook for the appropriate player count. Each player receives a player board, dice, and markers in their chosen color. Populate the board for the first round, select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!
Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, as there are just too many details. For a more in-depth look at The Artemis Project, pick up a copy from your FLGS or directly from the publisher! -L
To start each round, all players will simultaneously roll all 5 of their dice. Once players are happy with their results, the round is ready to properly begin. Each round is broken into three phases: Placement, Resolution, and Upkeep. To begin the Placement phase, starting with the first player, players will take turns assigning one die at a time to the 7 regions of the board. These regions are: Basecamp, Vents, Quarry, Gantry, Doorstep, Academy, and Outfitters. (I will explain each region in more detail in the next section!) The value of the dice placed in any region is important, because it will dictate what you are allowed to do, or when you are allowed to resolve the action for that region – so choose your placements wisely.
Once every player has placed all 5 of their dice, the Resolution phase begins. During the Resolution phase, each of the regions of the board will be resolved in order, allowing players to perform their region-specific actions. Resolution starts with Basecamp. Placing dice at Basecamp allows players to partake in Expeditions in an effort to earn Expedition Badges (which translate to end-game VP), as well as extra rewards. Each Expedition has a difficulty level which must be equaled or surpassed by the total of all dice placed on that card. If the difficulty is surpassed, the Expedition is a success and rewards are doled out accordingly, but if the Expedition fails, no rewards are earned by anyone.
The next 2 regions, Vents and Quarry, allow players to collect Energy and Minerals, respectively, and are resolved in the same way. Players will collect a number of resources equal to their played die value. Pretty straight-forward! Moving on to the Gantry region, the value of dice placed on any building tiles are considered bids for buying/constructing that building. You can bid against opponents for building tiles, but each bid must increase the previous amount. When resolving the Gantry, the highest value die on a tile is the winner, and that player must pay their die-amount in Minerals to collect that tile. Buildings are added to your colony, and allow you to perform special actions once they are fully-staffed (all colonist slots on the tile are filled).
Next is the Doorstep – depending on the value of dice you placed there, you will be able to recruit 1-3 new colonists. Recruiting a colonist costs you 2 Energy per new addition, and any new colonists you recruit can be placed immediately into any of your buildings (if space is available), or into your Shelter where they will wait to be used. The Academy region allows you to exchange a colonist of your choice for one of a different type/occupation, again, depending on the value of the die used. And finally, the Outfitters region does not resolved during this phase, because it’s action is performed immediately upon dice placement. Any dice placed to the Outfitters gives Tool Kits (used to manipulate die values at the start of each round) to the player, based upon the die value.
The remaining element of the Resolution phase is the Even card. At the start of each round, an Event card is drawn, and will pertain to a certain region of the board. During the Resolution phase, when that region is reached, the Event card will be resolved – either penalizing players or benefitting them in some way. I have purposefully left out a few elements of the Resolution phase for you to discover on your own!
Once all regions have been resolved, the round moves to the Upkeep phase. During this phase, all players can choose to move 1 colonist to a building tile, or swap any 2 colonists between buildings. This is not required, but can only be performed once during this phase. Next, if any players have fully-staffed buildings (all colonist slots are filled), they may activate the listed ability. And finally, for any colonists left in your shelter and not in a building, you must pay 1 Energy for each to keep them warm! The game board is now refreshed for the next round, a new starting player is selected, and the new round is ready to begin. After the 6th and final round, VPs are tallied – earned through number of building tiles, Expedition Badges, sets of resources, and sets of colonists – and the player with the most VP is the winner!
I know that seems like a lot, but I promise that once you start the first round, everything is pretty intuitive and the game flows well. The turn sequence and phases are logical and easy to understand. The game board itself has lots of helpful icons that work as reminders throughout gameplay, and the rulebook has a nice and concise round overview on the last page as well, which is easy to refer back to at a moment’s notice. I’ll go ahead and touch on components here, since I kind of already started to do so. The components in this game are great! The game board and cards are all sturdy and have colorful and immersive artwork. The dual-layered player boards are high quality, the colonist meeples are cute and effective, the building tiles and cardboard chits are strong and can definitely hold up to many plays, and the dice are easy to roll and read. Definitely an A+ on components from me.
I have to admit that The Artemis Project surprised me. At its core, it is a worker placement game, and that in and of itself lends itself to a certain gameplay. You’re trying to complete your own agenda, being the first to snag those important placements that you need to accomplish those goals, while also blocking opponents from doing the same. The thing that makes The Artemis Project unique is that the ‘workers’ in this game are dice. And their value is what dictates the resolution of each region. Just because you place a die in a region first, does not necessarily mean that you will get to resolve first – depending on how your opponents play, they could block you entirely! The use of dice adds an extra layer of strategy to the gameplay that really elevates it beyond a simple worker placement mechanic. Another great thing about this game is that there is no one way to win – there are several strategies that you could play by in an effort to earn VPs. Maybe you are trying to complete as many Expeditions as possible, or want to construct as many buildings as possible. Either strategy can work, and all strategies can easily be adapted and altered during gameplay.
I am so happy that I came across this game on Kickstarter. The game is strategic, engaging, and just fun to play. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of worker placement games, but the approach to the mechanic taken by The Artemis Project really puts a unique twist on it that adds to the gameplay. This is one KickStarter that was definitely worth the investment. Check it out if you haven’t heard of it, or if you’re looking to elevate your worker placement games. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an enterprising 10 / 12.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Space Kraken in Tabletop Games
Jul 22, 2021
The overall story is not unfamiliar. Scientists create a genetically-modified creature to help solve a global problem, creature is somehow mutated through radioactive exposure, creature poses a threat to mankind, mankind must eliminate the creature. Now take that monster to space and BAM – we’ve got the origins on Space Kraken. Humanity has been forced to space in search of a new inhabitable planet. But alien races await you in the vast unknown, and the Space Kraken is always lurking…
Disclaimer: We were provided with a demo version of Space Kraken. The gameplay is that of the full version, just with a shorter storyline and fewer variations. What you see pictured below may not be identical to what will be received in the finalized version. Also, the game can be played solo or with multiple players – this preview will be covering the solo-only mode of play. I do not intend to cover the entire rulebook, but rather provide an overview of the mechanics and gameplay. -L
Space Kraken is a sci-fi dungeon crawler encompassed in a spiral-bound book. The only additional components you need are 2d6, 1d20, and a pencil with a decent eraser. To start a new game, you will first get set up for the campaign. There are 6 Flights (game modes) to choose from and you select one with which to play. Different Flights affect the start of game conditions, which will affect the overall gameplay. For example, one Flight might offer bonuses to your ability scores, while another could give you stronger weapons right from the start. Once you’ve selected your Flight, you will then set up your Story Lines. These will help dictate the story of your overall campaign, and will be influenced by your strategies and decisions along the way. From crucial plot points to opportunities for ‘side quests,’ the Story Lines work to drive the narrative. The next step is to create your crew. You choose 3 heroes to start with, and will ‘build’ them by giving them attributes, equipment, and skills. The specific parameters are detailed in the rules. After the crew is created, the game is officially ready to begin!
A game of Space Kraken is played over a series of turns, broken down into 5 phases. The first phase of a turn is to Activate Story Lines. These are tracked across a series of 4 tables of coordinates. Find the coordinate on the appropriate table for your Story Line, and proceed as necessary. Some coordinates link to Events that require you to make decisions, roll dice, execute commands, while other coordinates will just link to a new coordinate to be used next turn. Once you have Activated and resolved all your Story Lines for the turn, the game moves to the Ship Construction phase. At the start of the game, you will most likely skip this phase, but as the game progresses and you earn funds, you will be able to upgrade and modify your spaceship during this part of the turn.
The third phase of a turn is to Perform Your Own Action. You can choose to either: Initiate Space Flight, Land at an Already-Discovered Location, or Activate a Story Line Again. Initiating space flight gives you the opportunity to explore different regions of space, discover/explore new locations, and sometimes even engage in space combat. You could choose to land at an already-discovered location, which allows you to visit many of the ‘dungeons’. Or you can activate a story line again, which lets you advance one of your story lines forward. After you perform your own action, phase 4 begins – Quick Visit a Shop, Ammo Dealer, or Quest Master. This one is pretty self-explanatory. You can trade or purchase goods from locations you have visited, or you could visit the Quest Master for ‘side quests.’ And then finally the last turn phase is Quest Timer. Any quests you have that were not advanced in this turn get a mark for Lost Time – after 5 marks they are erased! So prioritize wisely when it comes to your quest completion. A new turn now begins, following the same phase structure as detailed above. The game continues until either you have defeated the Space Kraken, or your entire crew and/or ship has perished.
At first glance, Space Kraken is kind of daunting and intimidating. There’s a bit of a learning curve as you figure out this gameplay system before you can really dive in to play. That being said, once you understand how the different aspects work – Space Flight, Combat, Story Lines, Dungeon Exploration, etc. – it will all click together. This isn’t a game you just pick up and decide to play on a whim, it’s one that takes focus and dedication to complete a play-through. Just something to keep in mind! As with most campaign-style games, the question of replayability is always in the forefront, and I think that Space Kraken really handles it very well. The Story Lines alone offer a range of variability that ensures no two games will be the same. How you build your crew and ship could influence decisions made with regards to Story Lines, which in turn leads you down a unique path with a plethora of opportunities. The mechanic for generating new locations to explore (the dungeon crawling element) also provides a variety of places to explore, alien races to interact with, and physical elements like atmosphere. The chances for generating the exact same location more than once are pretty slim, I would say. All of these elements just add to the replayability of Space Kraken and keep it fresh and unique for each play-through.
Guiding the overall gameplay are your dice. Some Story Lines offer 2 solutions, and you will roll the dice to see with which one you end up. To generate a new location, you roll the dice a number of times, looking at the corresponding tables in order to build the map for your current foray into space. Obviously, combat, either in ships or on the ground, will use dice to help dictate the flow of battle and the outcomes of said fights. That is how you can get so much replayability from this game – dice rolling. The range of Story Lines and locations coupled with dice rolls really create a one-of-a-kind gameplay experience, no matter how many times you play through. You’ll never play the same game twice….well, unless your dice results are the exact same for every roll as they were the previous game.
Let’s touch on components for a minute. As stated above, this is only a demo version of the game. That being said, the game is encompassed in a spiral-bound book, and that is what the complete game will be like too. The only things you need to play besides the book are a couple of d6, a d20, and a pencil! I think it’s neat that so much gameplay can be packed into a single book. Between sessions if you’re not able to leave the book on your table, simply mark your page, fold everything back into the book, and you’re good to go! What do I mean by fold everything back into the book? Several of the pages in this game have fold-outs of additional materials to be pulled out when necessary. I really like that if you don’t currently need a page, it doesn’t need to be showing. It helps keep the game a little more focused, visually, in my opinion. My only complaint is that a couple of times, a fold-out section may overlap another fold-out section, meaning that you have to end up flipping pages anyway. A small price to pay for an all-in-one game book! My other qualm is that as you play, you will write in the book. After you complete a play-through, you can go back and play again – just erase everything and start over. My concern is that with repeated erasing on the pages, the quality will wear down and could be unusable after a certain number of plays. Maybe that’s not a problem for other gamers, but that is something that jumped into my head when playing this.
Overall thoughts? Space Kraken is pretty cool. There is a bit of a learning curve as you delve into the new system, but once you’ve got the general mechanics/gameplay down, the rest is pretty straight-forward. The fact that the entire game is encompassed in one book is a neat element too. It allows you to ‘save’ your progress and come back to it without the hassle of setting up a million components. Having only played the solo version of the game, I’m curious to see how the multiplayer side works, so that may just be my next play-through! If you’re in the market for a campaign-style game, without requiring tons of table space and eons of time to play through, consider checking out Space Kraken. It successfully funded on Kickstarter and the late pledges are now open!
Disclaimer: We were provided with a demo version of Space Kraken. The gameplay is that of the full version, just with a shorter storyline and fewer variations. What you see pictured below may not be identical to what will be received in the finalized version. Also, the game can be played solo or with multiple players – this preview will be covering the solo-only mode of play. I do not intend to cover the entire rulebook, but rather provide an overview of the mechanics and gameplay. -L
Space Kraken is a sci-fi dungeon crawler encompassed in a spiral-bound book. The only additional components you need are 2d6, 1d20, and a pencil with a decent eraser. To start a new game, you will first get set up for the campaign. There are 6 Flights (game modes) to choose from and you select one with which to play. Different Flights affect the start of game conditions, which will affect the overall gameplay. For example, one Flight might offer bonuses to your ability scores, while another could give you stronger weapons right from the start. Once you’ve selected your Flight, you will then set up your Story Lines. These will help dictate the story of your overall campaign, and will be influenced by your strategies and decisions along the way. From crucial plot points to opportunities for ‘side quests,’ the Story Lines work to drive the narrative. The next step is to create your crew. You choose 3 heroes to start with, and will ‘build’ them by giving them attributes, equipment, and skills. The specific parameters are detailed in the rules. After the crew is created, the game is officially ready to begin!
A game of Space Kraken is played over a series of turns, broken down into 5 phases. The first phase of a turn is to Activate Story Lines. These are tracked across a series of 4 tables of coordinates. Find the coordinate on the appropriate table for your Story Line, and proceed as necessary. Some coordinates link to Events that require you to make decisions, roll dice, execute commands, while other coordinates will just link to a new coordinate to be used next turn. Once you have Activated and resolved all your Story Lines for the turn, the game moves to the Ship Construction phase. At the start of the game, you will most likely skip this phase, but as the game progresses and you earn funds, you will be able to upgrade and modify your spaceship during this part of the turn.
The third phase of a turn is to Perform Your Own Action. You can choose to either: Initiate Space Flight, Land at an Already-Discovered Location, or Activate a Story Line Again. Initiating space flight gives you the opportunity to explore different regions of space, discover/explore new locations, and sometimes even engage in space combat. You could choose to land at an already-discovered location, which allows you to visit many of the ‘dungeons’. Or you can activate a story line again, which lets you advance one of your story lines forward. After you perform your own action, phase 4 begins – Quick Visit a Shop, Ammo Dealer, or Quest Master. This one is pretty self-explanatory. You can trade or purchase goods from locations you have visited, or you could visit the Quest Master for ‘side quests.’ And then finally the last turn phase is Quest Timer. Any quests you have that were not advanced in this turn get a mark for Lost Time – after 5 marks they are erased! So prioritize wisely when it comes to your quest completion. A new turn now begins, following the same phase structure as detailed above. The game continues until either you have defeated the Space Kraken, or your entire crew and/or ship has perished.
At first glance, Space Kraken is kind of daunting and intimidating. There’s a bit of a learning curve as you figure out this gameplay system before you can really dive in to play. That being said, once you understand how the different aspects work – Space Flight, Combat, Story Lines, Dungeon Exploration, etc. – it will all click together. This isn’t a game you just pick up and decide to play on a whim, it’s one that takes focus and dedication to complete a play-through. Just something to keep in mind! As with most campaign-style games, the question of replayability is always in the forefront, and I think that Space Kraken really handles it very well. The Story Lines alone offer a range of variability that ensures no two games will be the same. How you build your crew and ship could influence decisions made with regards to Story Lines, which in turn leads you down a unique path with a plethora of opportunities. The mechanic for generating new locations to explore (the dungeon crawling element) also provides a variety of places to explore, alien races to interact with, and physical elements like atmosphere. The chances for generating the exact same location more than once are pretty slim, I would say. All of these elements just add to the replayability of Space Kraken and keep it fresh and unique for each play-through.
Guiding the overall gameplay are your dice. Some Story Lines offer 2 solutions, and you will roll the dice to see with which one you end up. To generate a new location, you roll the dice a number of times, looking at the corresponding tables in order to build the map for your current foray into space. Obviously, combat, either in ships or on the ground, will use dice to help dictate the flow of battle and the outcomes of said fights. That is how you can get so much replayability from this game – dice rolling. The range of Story Lines and locations coupled with dice rolls really create a one-of-a-kind gameplay experience, no matter how many times you play through. You’ll never play the same game twice….well, unless your dice results are the exact same for every roll as they were the previous game.
Let’s touch on components for a minute. As stated above, this is only a demo version of the game. That being said, the game is encompassed in a spiral-bound book, and that is what the complete game will be like too. The only things you need to play besides the book are a couple of d6, a d20, and a pencil! I think it’s neat that so much gameplay can be packed into a single book. Between sessions if you’re not able to leave the book on your table, simply mark your page, fold everything back into the book, and you’re good to go! What do I mean by fold everything back into the book? Several of the pages in this game have fold-outs of additional materials to be pulled out when necessary. I really like that if you don’t currently need a page, it doesn’t need to be showing. It helps keep the game a little more focused, visually, in my opinion. My only complaint is that a couple of times, a fold-out section may overlap another fold-out section, meaning that you have to end up flipping pages anyway. A small price to pay for an all-in-one game book! My other qualm is that as you play, you will write in the book. After you complete a play-through, you can go back and play again – just erase everything and start over. My concern is that with repeated erasing on the pages, the quality will wear down and could be unusable after a certain number of plays. Maybe that’s not a problem for other gamers, but that is something that jumped into my head when playing this.
Overall thoughts? Space Kraken is pretty cool. There is a bit of a learning curve as you delve into the new system, but once you’ve got the general mechanics/gameplay down, the rest is pretty straight-forward. The fact that the entire game is encompassed in one book is a neat element too. It allows you to ‘save’ your progress and come back to it without the hassle of setting up a million components. Having only played the solo version of the game, I’m curious to see how the multiplayer side works, so that may just be my next play-through! If you’re in the market for a campaign-style game, without requiring tons of table space and eons of time to play through, consider checking out Space Kraken. It successfully funded on Kickstarter and the late pledges are now open!
A Bibliophagist (113 KP) rated Space Opera in Books
Jan 25, 2020 (Updated Jan 25, 2020)
Fun writing (2 more)
Creative
Witty
Overwritten (3 more)
Lacking plot
Disjointed and distracted
Boring
Technicolor Encyclopedia entry
Space Opera seems to be a book, that based on other reviews, you either love or hate. The love reviewers can't seem to tell me why they love it, most attempting to replicate the style of the author and relying on a menagerie of adjectives to express themselves. "A glitter punk, Eurovision romp!" "Technicolor whirlwind!" but not actually saying WHY they liked it, or just saying "well you didn't get the humor". The ones who disliked it are pretty clear, and as I struggled with this book I found I agreed with their complaints. However, I have to thank the sheer number of DNFs from the disliked group for causing me to, ironically, finish it. I hate DNFing books, to begin with, but when I saw just how many bad reviews didn't make it through, it felt as bad as the good reviews not actually reviewing anything. So I powered through, and honestly, it was worth finishing. The author really got back on track and it was a great ending.
Valente has in fact given us a Eurovision, glitter punk, electric baby with Douglas Adams, her writing fantastical and humorous, her characters vapid but in a washed-out musician kind of way. She really thought about this book, creating droves of aliens and probably destroying a number of thesauri to bring them to life. We follow Decibel Jones of the "oh you haven't heard of it, well we used to be a thing" Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. A washed-up, no longer active glitter punk band who is an amalgam of every band you probably are thinking of when trying to grasp what that description means.
The book opens with a wonderfully witty description of how there is in fact other life out there in the universe, life is easy to come by, they've just been off doing a galactic war and while they were gone we kind of popped up. Life is stupid. This part is the best part of the book. The humor is on point, the prose magnificant. She is spot on and very pointed in her argument for why war happens. It's people vs meat, and how does one determine something isn't meat, but in fact sentient? Well, no one really figured that out, hence the galactic war, but NOW post-war they think they've figured it out. Intergalactic Music competition. Makes sense, only something sentient could create music right?
Well, this year is a special year because Earth is invited, we've been deemed "may be sentient", but questionable enough that they'd rather not let us just hang out and become annoying someday. So we have to present a band and performance for consideration. We just have to not place last. If we don't place last, we're part of the club and we'll be a-ok. If we place last, we'll be destroyed, because they already think we're annoying and that will mean we're meat. People vs meat remember?
So, one day everyone on the planet earth, everyone, awake or sleeping is visited by the blue birdlike projection of our assigned guides, the Esca, and alien species that are new to the whole being accepted as a sentient thing, and will guide us through the competition. Which it is now telling us about, Suprise! They've chosen a list of musicians they think will do well, however it's outdated and only one band is really able to do it, the has-beens, who are they, Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. Time was rough on our glam-punk friends as it tends to be on musicians, they lost the third member about a decade ago, the two remaining no longer talk. Decibel is a trainwreck, and Oort St Ultraviolet is now just a dad who very much wants to be a regular dude. But now they're being whisked off into space to sing for the world's salvation.
Sounds pretty fun right? This plus Douglas Adams type prose and humor? A real knock out. Unfortunately, that story I just described takes up... maybe a quarter of the book, MAYBE. You can pull the main story out and put it into a book that might be too small to be a novella. Because of this, the backstory, development, and exploration of these characters are slim to nothing. There is some mind you, but very little. It isn't until the 180pg mark or so that Valente actually decides to focus on the plot, giving very little time to do the entire Grand Prix, the actual competition takes up a page. A 288-page book about a singing competition and only 1-2 pages is actually the singing competition. Tack on another 10 maybe for the weird cocktail death party right before, that didn't have enough attempted death to make any real point of it, plus maybe another 5-10 scattered throughout the book on the back story and leading up to the story, and we've got MAYBE 25 pages of the actual plot. My math is wrong, I know, but it sure FEELS like this.
So, in a 288-page book, with 25 pages being the actual story, what are the other 263 pages? It was the author being somewhat... I don't mean to sound mean, but full of herself? She tried WAY too hard on this style she was going for. It felt like an "oh, you liked that opening chapter, didn't you? You totally read it out loud to your boyfriend, well here let me give it to you again, and again, and ... again". This book suffers from a severe case of needing to be edited. Of someone saying "that's enough now dear, but what about the story". Every few pages of the backstory of the plot we got were met with full chapters, sometimes multiple of Valente describing yet another alien species she's created, in yet another chain of witty simile and metaphor. To the point where sometimes I no longer knew what was happening, they were all interchangeable, which alien are we talking about now? It went on and on and on, and I never knew how such humorous writing could be just so soul suckingly boring. When she ran out of aliens it was describing previous grand prix's and how the aliens sang. In the exact same, formulaic, witty simile, witty simile, witty simile. Don't get me wrong, there were some absolute gems in here. Some that made me laugh out loud. But it's all about the ratio. I would trade in a heartbeat the ratio in this book. 263 pages of plot, and 25 pages of aliens described in witty simile. It took everything in my power after the third alien chapter to not skim. But she fit so much into a sentence that I was scared somewhere hiding would be a plot point (spoiler alert, there wasn't, skim away).
Then around the 180 page mark, a flip was switched, it was almost as if she went "crap, a story!" the adjective use was slimmed down dramatically and we actually got more than one chapter in a row with a plot point. But at this point, it was too late, the end of the book was hurdling at us and very little had happened and the book pretty much fizzled out with an "oh yeah, the Grand Prix happened". Mind you, the finale was very heartwarming and I liked it a lot. I just wish I hadn't had to read a full chapter about hairbrush interspecies sex to get there, and instead had more of it. But ironically, the hairbrush sex had more plot advancement that the majority of the book.
The ending did, however, for one moment, make me forget that I had just read an encyclopedia of descriptors and was happy for a few minutes. So good on her for that. That proves to me that she can write more than glittery descriptions, which then made me sad I didn't have more of that writing. With just a spattering of the gold of her opening chapters. I am glad I finished the book, the story, what little there was, was worth the read. However, I have no desire to read any other of Valente's writing now, and if there was a sequel, I just don't think I have it in me to read another 263 pages of description. Cool idea, good ability, just terribly executed. She could easily have released a separate book, expanding on a handful of species she established in the book, like an alien compendium, and I would have read it, and laughed, and been okay because I went into it expecting it. But I went into this wanting a story, not a neon throwup encyclopedia of just how "oh so creative" Valente is. That came off harsh, I know, but they blew past the fine line of interesting and well into the self-serving, look what I can do, territory. What suffered for it wasn't just a large number of DNFs, and my sanity for a few days, but an actually interesting, fun, Eurovision, glitter punk, heartwarming story about loss, life, how stupid it is, how beautiful it is, and why we should fight for it. It's in there, hiding beneath the layers and layers of word vomit. I want that story. Please release a second edition that is just that, the opening, and say... 3-5 of your favorite aliens Valente, I promise I'll give it another try if you do.
Valente has in fact given us a Eurovision, glitter punk, electric baby with Douglas Adams, her writing fantastical and humorous, her characters vapid but in a washed-out musician kind of way. She really thought about this book, creating droves of aliens and probably destroying a number of thesauri to bring them to life. We follow Decibel Jones of the "oh you haven't heard of it, well we used to be a thing" Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. A washed-up, no longer active glitter punk band who is an amalgam of every band you probably are thinking of when trying to grasp what that description means.
The book opens with a wonderfully witty description of how there is in fact other life out there in the universe, life is easy to come by, they've just been off doing a galactic war and while they were gone we kind of popped up. Life is stupid. This part is the best part of the book. The humor is on point, the prose magnificant. She is spot on and very pointed in her argument for why war happens. It's people vs meat, and how does one determine something isn't meat, but in fact sentient? Well, no one really figured that out, hence the galactic war, but NOW post-war they think they've figured it out. Intergalactic Music competition. Makes sense, only something sentient could create music right?
Well, this year is a special year because Earth is invited, we've been deemed "may be sentient", but questionable enough that they'd rather not let us just hang out and become annoying someday. So we have to present a band and performance for consideration. We just have to not place last. If we don't place last, we're part of the club and we'll be a-ok. If we place last, we'll be destroyed, because they already think we're annoying and that will mean we're meat. People vs meat remember?
So, one day everyone on the planet earth, everyone, awake or sleeping is visited by the blue birdlike projection of our assigned guides, the Esca, and alien species that are new to the whole being accepted as a sentient thing, and will guide us through the competition. Which it is now telling us about, Suprise! They've chosen a list of musicians they think will do well, however it's outdated and only one band is really able to do it, the has-beens, who are they, Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. Time was rough on our glam-punk friends as it tends to be on musicians, they lost the third member about a decade ago, the two remaining no longer talk. Decibel is a trainwreck, and Oort St Ultraviolet is now just a dad who very much wants to be a regular dude. But now they're being whisked off into space to sing for the world's salvation.
Sounds pretty fun right? This plus Douglas Adams type prose and humor? A real knock out. Unfortunately, that story I just described takes up... maybe a quarter of the book, MAYBE. You can pull the main story out and put it into a book that might be too small to be a novella. Because of this, the backstory, development, and exploration of these characters are slim to nothing. There is some mind you, but very little. It isn't until the 180pg mark or so that Valente actually decides to focus on the plot, giving very little time to do the entire Grand Prix, the actual competition takes up a page. A 288-page book about a singing competition and only 1-2 pages is actually the singing competition. Tack on another 10 maybe for the weird cocktail death party right before, that didn't have enough attempted death to make any real point of it, plus maybe another 5-10 scattered throughout the book on the back story and leading up to the story, and we've got MAYBE 25 pages of the actual plot. My math is wrong, I know, but it sure FEELS like this.
So, in a 288-page book, with 25 pages being the actual story, what are the other 263 pages? It was the author being somewhat... I don't mean to sound mean, but full of herself? She tried WAY too hard on this style she was going for. It felt like an "oh, you liked that opening chapter, didn't you? You totally read it out loud to your boyfriend, well here let me give it to you again, and again, and ... again". This book suffers from a severe case of needing to be edited. Of someone saying "that's enough now dear, but what about the story". Every few pages of the backstory of the plot we got were met with full chapters, sometimes multiple of Valente describing yet another alien species she's created, in yet another chain of witty simile and metaphor. To the point where sometimes I no longer knew what was happening, they were all interchangeable, which alien are we talking about now? It went on and on and on, and I never knew how such humorous writing could be just so soul suckingly boring. When she ran out of aliens it was describing previous grand prix's and how the aliens sang. In the exact same, formulaic, witty simile, witty simile, witty simile. Don't get me wrong, there were some absolute gems in here. Some that made me laugh out loud. But it's all about the ratio. I would trade in a heartbeat the ratio in this book. 263 pages of plot, and 25 pages of aliens described in witty simile. It took everything in my power after the third alien chapter to not skim. But she fit so much into a sentence that I was scared somewhere hiding would be a plot point (spoiler alert, there wasn't, skim away).
Then around the 180 page mark, a flip was switched, it was almost as if she went "crap, a story!" the adjective use was slimmed down dramatically and we actually got more than one chapter in a row with a plot point. But at this point, it was too late, the end of the book was hurdling at us and very little had happened and the book pretty much fizzled out with an "oh yeah, the Grand Prix happened". Mind you, the finale was very heartwarming and I liked it a lot. I just wish I hadn't had to read a full chapter about hairbrush interspecies sex to get there, and instead had more of it. But ironically, the hairbrush sex had more plot advancement that the majority of the book.
The ending did, however, for one moment, make me forget that I had just read an encyclopedia of descriptors and was happy for a few minutes. So good on her for that. That proves to me that she can write more than glittery descriptions, which then made me sad I didn't have more of that writing. With just a spattering of the gold of her opening chapters. I am glad I finished the book, the story, what little there was, was worth the read. However, I have no desire to read any other of Valente's writing now, and if there was a sequel, I just don't think I have it in me to read another 263 pages of description. Cool idea, good ability, just terribly executed. She could easily have released a separate book, expanding on a handful of species she established in the book, like an alien compendium, and I would have read it, and laughed, and been okay because I went into it expecting it. But I went into this wanting a story, not a neon throwup encyclopedia of just how "oh so creative" Valente is. That came off harsh, I know, but they blew past the fine line of interesting and well into the self-serving, look what I can do, territory. What suffered for it wasn't just a large number of DNFs, and my sanity for a few days, but an actually interesting, fun, Eurovision, glitter punk, heartwarming story about loss, life, how stupid it is, how beautiful it is, and why we should fight for it. It's in there, hiding beneath the layers and layers of word vomit. I want that story. Please release a second edition that is just that, the opening, and say... 3-5 of your favorite aliens Valente, I promise I'll give it another try if you do.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Victim: The Cursed Forest in Tabletop Games
Sep 24, 2021
I mean, who WOULDN’T be frightened out of their undies when one of their traveling mates just suddenly becomes… something else… and chases them through a very odd forest? But yet, here is where we now play. In a vast forest with danger around every curve, and a horrific presence taunting the party with the imminent possession of their very bodies. A far cry from prancing about a candied forest in an attempt to reach the summit: Candy Castle. Board games have definitely evolved, and boy am I glad for that!
Victim: The Cursed Forest (which I shall from here call simply “Victim”) is a horror survival game where players assume the roles of survivors of a plane crash. Each survivor, which in the game are actually called Victims, must race against time and nightmare fiends in order to reach the safety bunker until saviors come rescue them. However, early in the game one of their own is possessed by the lurking horror and then turns on the party to pick them off one by one. It’s up to the victims to race to the bunker and input the correct code to open its hatch to relative safety!
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, basically shuffle each deck separately, and place the Bunker map tile in the bottom six of the stack, then split that into two stacks. Place out all the chits however makes sense for your table (organized for me, thank you), and each player chooses one of the characters to play and collects all their goodies. The Start Tile is laid down, the player minis are placed upon it and the chase is on!
Each turn the players will have several choices of actions to complete, with two actions available to be taken on their turn. Primarily, players will be Running around the map to different tiles and exploring their special characteristics. Some tiles allow players to search them for Item cards, some allow players to Decode as an action, and some also require players to pass certain tests of abilities. These tests correspond to each player’s abilities of Agility, Intelligence, Vitality, and Luck. The ability scores are different for each character and can be improved or worsened throughout the game. Character boards also will show each character’s special skills that can be used on a turn.
Once all players have completed their two actions in turn order, the last player will flip an Event card that may be active for the entirety of the next round. Sometimes these Events affect only characters on certain tile types, or even adjust ability scores and Items held. However, at the end of the second or third round of play (depending on the number of players), the ominous Curse Phase is completed.
The Curse Phase is a special one-time insert that has all players make a test against one of the four abilities. The lowest score for the test then becomes the host for the Evil that will ravage the party and wreak hell on the other players. The player no longer controls their chosen character, but immediately becomes the Evil that was drawn and now plays the game against the other players. The Evil takes their turn at the end of the round, just before the Event card is drawn.
Once the Evil enters play in earnest, the game quickly shifts from a nice exploration and map building game to a race against time to earn bunker password tokens from the Decoding tiles and avoid all attacks from the now raging Evil chasing the players. I will not describe the entirety of battle and Evil special abilities, but battle is a very simple Attack roll vs. Defense roll for one wound. When a player sustains two wounds, they are considered to have a Critical Injury and may only Crawl to another player in hopes of receiving healing or to arrive on a tile with healing properties upon it. However, a character that has been Critically Injured is ripe for the Evil’s Death Skill. The Death Skill is how the Evil is able to remove characters (and thusly players) from the game and decrease the odds of the Victims’ victory.
Play continues in this fashion of players taking their turns, then the Evil takes their turn, then the Event card is drawn as the last part of each round, until either the players collect the correct tokens to solve the hatch passcode and earn safety, or the Evil takes out the required number of characters for their victory. All this can be accomplished in a mere 45-90 minutes. Absolutely.
Components. Never having heard of Hexa House prior to arranging for this review, I had no idea what to expect in terms of components. However, this game comes in a very large box, the insert is kind of perfect (which is saying a lot, especially since it is a vacuum form), and everything inside the box is really great! I’m not really a miniatures kinda guy, but I can appreciate them. Standees are just as good to me, but I think these minis are above-average from my experience. The cards, the art style, the custom dice, everything just hits really well.
So you probably noticed my weird ratings graphic up top. Well, I will admit that my graphic design skills are, well, amateur at best. So I just created a 5 point 5 because I really feel this one is just amazing. Now, some people may have some small issues with the rule book, but please read it with a grain of salt: I believe they originate in Thai or Laotian languages and are translated to English. I didn’t have problems reading it at all, but had a couple questions. I tried playing several different ways when I had these questions, and usually just one option was really viable anyway.
That said, everything else about this game is truly wonderful. I sincerely enjoy that sudden shift near the beginning of the game where one player becomes the big baddie and comes for the rest of the players. Depending on placement and buddy systems that formed in the first part of the game, the Evil player will have either a feast setup before themselves, or have to do a bit of work to track down the characters to orchestrate their attack. I know I didn’t go into a whole lot of detail on what the Evil player can do on their turns, but it boils down to basically Hunt (run), Attack, and trap.
This base game ships with six Victims and six Evils. I have yet to see all the Evils in my plays, as the mechanic for determining which Evil surfaces is dependent on a draw of a card from a shuffled deck. That said, even when an Evil enters the game that I have played before, the players were different, and the map was different, and the placement of characters was different, so it did not feel “samey” to me at all.
I will admit that the most frustrating aspect of the game is the bunker hatch passcode. Okay, so once the Bunker tile is placed, a new component enters play: the Bunker board. A hole in the middle of the board is to house a Gate Token. This Gate Token is simply a target number that the players need to achieve using the different Number and Symbol Tokens won from successful Decode actions. The Number Tokens are simply 1-6, and the Symbol Tokens are plus/minus/multiply/divide. Therefore, in order to meet the Gate Token showing 35 players would need to gather 6 x 5 + 3 + 2. That is seven different successes at the Decoder tiles, and best case scenario has players pulling those exactly and no others. When you are playing a game that is a race against time (or death, in this instance), these little setbacks can cost the entire game – that is, if players simply cannot pass the test needed for a success at the Decoder tile. Frustrating, yes, but also a very cool addition to this style of game.
Victim has completely surprised me, and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to add this to my collection. My strong recommendation is that if you see one of these in the wild – GRAB IT. There are hours and hours of gameplay in this box, and I haven’t even touched the expansion for it yet (expect another review of that in the near future as well). Purple Phoenix Games officially gives this one a 5.5 / 6 (we NEVER do half points), but I feel like with even more plays, and with the expansion to be added soon, this may give my Top 10 list a shakeup still this year. If you are a fan of games like Betrayal at House on the Hill and Posthuman, then you need to check this one out for sure. Oh, did I mention that there is a LOT of dice rolling here too? Guess I just left that until the end for my dice-chucking lovers.
Victim: The Cursed Forest (which I shall from here call simply “Victim”) is a horror survival game where players assume the roles of survivors of a plane crash. Each survivor, which in the game are actually called Victims, must race against time and nightmare fiends in order to reach the safety bunker until saviors come rescue them. However, early in the game one of their own is possessed by the lurking horror and then turns on the party to pick them off one by one. It’s up to the victims to race to the bunker and input the correct code to open its hatch to relative safety!
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, basically shuffle each deck separately, and place the Bunker map tile in the bottom six of the stack, then split that into two stacks. Place out all the chits however makes sense for your table (organized for me, thank you), and each player chooses one of the characters to play and collects all their goodies. The Start Tile is laid down, the player minis are placed upon it and the chase is on!
Each turn the players will have several choices of actions to complete, with two actions available to be taken on their turn. Primarily, players will be Running around the map to different tiles and exploring their special characteristics. Some tiles allow players to search them for Item cards, some allow players to Decode as an action, and some also require players to pass certain tests of abilities. These tests correspond to each player’s abilities of Agility, Intelligence, Vitality, and Luck. The ability scores are different for each character and can be improved or worsened throughout the game. Character boards also will show each character’s special skills that can be used on a turn.
Once all players have completed their two actions in turn order, the last player will flip an Event card that may be active for the entirety of the next round. Sometimes these Events affect only characters on certain tile types, or even adjust ability scores and Items held. However, at the end of the second or third round of play (depending on the number of players), the ominous Curse Phase is completed.
The Curse Phase is a special one-time insert that has all players make a test against one of the four abilities. The lowest score for the test then becomes the host for the Evil that will ravage the party and wreak hell on the other players. The player no longer controls their chosen character, but immediately becomes the Evil that was drawn and now plays the game against the other players. The Evil takes their turn at the end of the round, just before the Event card is drawn.
Once the Evil enters play in earnest, the game quickly shifts from a nice exploration and map building game to a race against time to earn bunker password tokens from the Decoding tiles and avoid all attacks from the now raging Evil chasing the players. I will not describe the entirety of battle and Evil special abilities, but battle is a very simple Attack roll vs. Defense roll for one wound. When a player sustains two wounds, they are considered to have a Critical Injury and may only Crawl to another player in hopes of receiving healing or to arrive on a tile with healing properties upon it. However, a character that has been Critically Injured is ripe for the Evil’s Death Skill. The Death Skill is how the Evil is able to remove characters (and thusly players) from the game and decrease the odds of the Victims’ victory.
Play continues in this fashion of players taking their turns, then the Evil takes their turn, then the Event card is drawn as the last part of each round, until either the players collect the correct tokens to solve the hatch passcode and earn safety, or the Evil takes out the required number of characters for their victory. All this can be accomplished in a mere 45-90 minutes. Absolutely.
Components. Never having heard of Hexa House prior to arranging for this review, I had no idea what to expect in terms of components. However, this game comes in a very large box, the insert is kind of perfect (which is saying a lot, especially since it is a vacuum form), and everything inside the box is really great! I’m not really a miniatures kinda guy, but I can appreciate them. Standees are just as good to me, but I think these minis are above-average from my experience. The cards, the art style, the custom dice, everything just hits really well.
So you probably noticed my weird ratings graphic up top. Well, I will admit that my graphic design skills are, well, amateur at best. So I just created a 5 point 5 because I really feel this one is just amazing. Now, some people may have some small issues with the rule book, but please read it with a grain of salt: I believe they originate in Thai or Laotian languages and are translated to English. I didn’t have problems reading it at all, but had a couple questions. I tried playing several different ways when I had these questions, and usually just one option was really viable anyway.
That said, everything else about this game is truly wonderful. I sincerely enjoy that sudden shift near the beginning of the game where one player becomes the big baddie and comes for the rest of the players. Depending on placement and buddy systems that formed in the first part of the game, the Evil player will have either a feast setup before themselves, or have to do a bit of work to track down the characters to orchestrate their attack. I know I didn’t go into a whole lot of detail on what the Evil player can do on their turns, but it boils down to basically Hunt (run), Attack, and trap.
This base game ships with six Victims and six Evils. I have yet to see all the Evils in my plays, as the mechanic for determining which Evil surfaces is dependent on a draw of a card from a shuffled deck. That said, even when an Evil enters the game that I have played before, the players were different, and the map was different, and the placement of characters was different, so it did not feel “samey” to me at all.
I will admit that the most frustrating aspect of the game is the bunker hatch passcode. Okay, so once the Bunker tile is placed, a new component enters play: the Bunker board. A hole in the middle of the board is to house a Gate Token. This Gate Token is simply a target number that the players need to achieve using the different Number and Symbol Tokens won from successful Decode actions. The Number Tokens are simply 1-6, and the Symbol Tokens are plus/minus/multiply/divide. Therefore, in order to meet the Gate Token showing 35 players would need to gather 6 x 5 + 3 + 2. That is seven different successes at the Decoder tiles, and best case scenario has players pulling those exactly and no others. When you are playing a game that is a race against time (or death, in this instance), these little setbacks can cost the entire game – that is, if players simply cannot pass the test needed for a success at the Decoder tile. Frustrating, yes, but also a very cool addition to this style of game.
Victim has completely surprised me, and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to add this to my collection. My strong recommendation is that if you see one of these in the wild – GRAB IT. There are hours and hours of gameplay in this box, and I haven’t even touched the expansion for it yet (expect another review of that in the near future as well). Purple Phoenix Games officially gives this one a 5.5 / 6 (we NEVER do half points), but I feel like with even more plays, and with the expansion to be added soon, this may give my Top 10 list a shakeup still this year. If you are a fan of games like Betrayal at House on the Hill and Posthuman, then you need to check this one out for sure. Oh, did I mention that there is a LOT of dice rolling here too? Guess I just left that until the end for my dice-chucking lovers.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated the PlayStation 4 version of Red Dead Redemption 2 in Video Games
Oct 30, 2018 (Updated Nov 20, 2018)
Slow West
I have decided to do something totally different for my Red Dead 2 review; instead of just reviewing it as a whole once I am finished with it, I am going to start my review just now and then continually add to it the further through it I progress. There are a few reasons for this, firstly because this game is huge and is probably too vast to sum up in just a few paragraphs once I have completed the story. Secondly, because we would all be waiting weeks for me to review it; I am not going to be done with this thing anytime soon. Third is because it's something new, a break from my traditional structure of writing reviews. Finally, because I feel that my opinion on this game is going to change based on the different things that I experience during my playthrough, along with my score of the game. There will also most likely be spoilers as we move on through the game, so maybe just read up to where you have also played to. Once I have completed the game, I may write a summary of my thoughts at the bottom of this review, or I might just scrap this and write a whole new review from scratch, we shall see.
So far, I think I have played between 3 - 4 hours of the game and already I have been through a range of emotions. The game opened in a very cinematic fashion and I was on-board right away. The shots used and atmosphere that was present was very reminiscent of The Hateful 8. Then you get to a small group of shacks and are forced to play through the first few story missions consecutively, which act as tutorials for a lot of the games systems. This part is pretty laborious, but thankfully just as I was starting to get bored, you progress to Chapter 2 and the game opens up.
I must admit, I didn't enjoy the first few hours I spent wandering through the game's world. Arthur moves so damn slowly and every task takes an age to complete, in fact every part of the game seems slow. Horse riding to a location takes forever, the few moments of gunplay are sparse and the aiming controls are anything but smooth. Other than that, the time is spent chopping wood or doing other chores. The word CHORE, is actually adequate to describe the gameplay up to this point.
To break up this slow pace, I decided to go exploring and do some outlaw activities. The problem is that this game's witness/bounty system is ridiculous. You can't so much as lift a finger in the Valentine town centre without the lawmen hunting you and your bounty climbing higher and higher. I'm talking anything from accidently bumping someone with your horse to walking beside another citizen for too long - it is ridiculously harsh and Rockstar seem to favour 'realism,' over fun with this mechanic. So, because I am getting so much grief from the lawmen in Valentine and racking up a bounty way higher than I can afford at this early stage, I decide to go off the beaten path and look for loners to rob. The problem here is, even if you meticulously look around the area to make sure that the coast is clear and then rob your victim, someone out of the blue will appear, halfway across the map and run toward the nearest town to report you. So, naturally you hunt down that witness and kill them, then another witness sees this occur and start running to report you and the cycle continues until someone inevitably reports or shoots you. It's as if Rockstar don't want you to have fun and play the outlaw in their game about playing as an outlaw.
Reading back on what I've read so far, I feel like I have bashed this game pretty hard. As an aspiring game developer myself, I have an idea of what goes into a project like this and what Rockstar have achieved in that sense is truly astonishing and inspiring. The lighting work along with the cinematic camera and near photo-realistic graphics make this game a visual beauty. The world also feels genuinely alive, the voice acting is brilliant and the small touches and intricate level of detail present is insane. Presentation wise, this game is flawless.
Okay, at this point I am about 5 or 6 hours into the game. I am still on chapter 2 and have only done a couple more story missions, but I have done a good bit of exploring too. So far, I have experienced 2 bugs. One was when a story mission required me to get on a horse to take and sell at the Valentine stable and the horse was invisible during the cutscene and non-existent when it switched to gameplay. A quick restart solved this, but still the bug was present during a main story mission.
The other happened during a random stranger encounter. I was riding through an open area full of lumberjacks cutting down trees and one of the trees fell on a guy's leg. I got off my horse and ran over to help, but while doing so, I saw a bunch of bounty hunter symbols appear on the mini map. I ignored them and pressed the button prompt to help lift the tree, but while doing so, the bounty hunters appeared and fired their guns in the air. The rest of the men fled and I was left standing beside the guy that was trapped under the tree, unable to move or do anything. As I stood and spammed every button trying to make Arthur move, the bounty hunters just surrounded me and pointed their guns towards me, but none of them shot. We were left in this awkward standoff for a few minutes before I eventually gave up and had to restart. This second bug is probably the more egregious of the two I've had so far, as I now have no way of knowing if I am going to be able to get that random encounter again.
This is annoying as the random encounters are by far the best part of this game so far. I don't want to spoil too many of them here, but they range from exciting to terrifying to just plain sad and all of them are brilliant.
As I settle into Arthur as a character, I realise more and more how much I prefer and miss playing as John. John was cool where Arthur is goofy. John was smooth where Arthur is wooden. Don't get me wrong, Arthur is well written and acted, but I really think he would play better as a side character rather than a protagonist. Plus the way I play him totally contradicts his whole attitude. I'm playing him as a ruthless killer who shoots entire groups of people on sight and he is still a lovable, goofy rogue in cutscenes.
I have played a few more hours over the last few nights, I must be around 10 hours in now, (although there doesn't seem to be any way of checking that for sure.) I am still on Chapter 2 in terms of the story, but I have been doing a lot of exploring and have found/bought a decent amount of better gear and weapons for Arthur. It also turns out that there is some fast travel in this game, if you upgrade Dutch's tent via the camp ledger and then upgrade your own, (costs about $500 all in,) you can fast travel from the camp to any major location that you have previously visited. Unfortunately while I was fast travelling last night to a location, I experience the first occurrence of pop-in that I have seen so far in the game. I understand that this game is extremely vast and there is a great deal to load in, but when every other aspect of the game is so polished in terms of presentation, it stuck out like a sore thumb.
In terms of exploration, I have probably spent less than half of my 10 hours in the game so far doing story missions and instead spent the majority of my time just riding/walking around and taking in the sights, or speaking to strangers, or violently robbing and killing them at gunpoint whenever the notion takes me. Strawberry is a cool little town, it is quite similar to Valentine in terms of the size and the available shops etc. St Denis is another story. Located at the south-east corner of the map, it is a huge, bustling city with an overwhelming amount to take in. Without spoiling too much, it will also open up a few more opportunities for Arthur once you get there.
I have played a lot more of the game since I last updated this, I'd guess I am closer to 20 hours playtime than 10 at this point. I have finally progressed to Chapter 3, the gang has moved camp to near another small town called Rhodes, which has lots to see and do considering it's small size. That is one thing that Rockstar have undoubtedly nailed in this game, making these towns truly feel alive and like they continue to exist even when you are not riding through them. I'd go as far as to say that this open world feels more alive than any other one that I have spent time in.
The story missions up until this point are touch and go. Some are really fun and exciting and some are monotonous and boring and feel more like busywork than progress. I much prefer the side missions up to this point. The debt collecting missions and the bounty missions are satisfying and feel worthwhile. The robbery side missions that you do with certain gang members are also a nice, more engaging change from the slower pace of the story.
In terms of the game's characters, I am just as much of as a fan of John Marston as I was in the last game and I must admit that spending more time with Arthur has made him grow on me slightly. As for the rest of the gang though, it's a mixed bag. I like Sean, Charles, Javier and Lenny, but the rest are just annoying and a chore to be around. One major disappointment regarding the characters for me, is that I thought that this game was going to make me sympathise with Dutch and see things from his perspective, the way that MGS 3 did for Big Boss, but no. Apparently he was always an unlikable dick.
So far, I think I have played between 3 - 4 hours of the game and already I have been through a range of emotions. The game opened in a very cinematic fashion and I was on-board right away. The shots used and atmosphere that was present was very reminiscent of The Hateful 8. Then you get to a small group of shacks and are forced to play through the first few story missions consecutively, which act as tutorials for a lot of the games systems. This part is pretty laborious, but thankfully just as I was starting to get bored, you progress to Chapter 2 and the game opens up.
I must admit, I didn't enjoy the first few hours I spent wandering through the game's world. Arthur moves so damn slowly and every task takes an age to complete, in fact every part of the game seems slow. Horse riding to a location takes forever, the few moments of gunplay are sparse and the aiming controls are anything but smooth. Other than that, the time is spent chopping wood or doing other chores. The word CHORE, is actually adequate to describe the gameplay up to this point.
To break up this slow pace, I decided to go exploring and do some outlaw activities. The problem is that this game's witness/bounty system is ridiculous. You can't so much as lift a finger in the Valentine town centre without the lawmen hunting you and your bounty climbing higher and higher. I'm talking anything from accidently bumping someone with your horse to walking beside another citizen for too long - it is ridiculously harsh and Rockstar seem to favour 'realism,' over fun with this mechanic. So, because I am getting so much grief from the lawmen in Valentine and racking up a bounty way higher than I can afford at this early stage, I decide to go off the beaten path and look for loners to rob. The problem here is, even if you meticulously look around the area to make sure that the coast is clear and then rob your victim, someone out of the blue will appear, halfway across the map and run toward the nearest town to report you. So, naturally you hunt down that witness and kill them, then another witness sees this occur and start running to report you and the cycle continues until someone inevitably reports or shoots you. It's as if Rockstar don't want you to have fun and play the outlaw in their game about playing as an outlaw.
Reading back on what I've read so far, I feel like I have bashed this game pretty hard. As an aspiring game developer myself, I have an idea of what goes into a project like this and what Rockstar have achieved in that sense is truly astonishing and inspiring. The lighting work along with the cinematic camera and near photo-realistic graphics make this game a visual beauty. The world also feels genuinely alive, the voice acting is brilliant and the small touches and intricate level of detail present is insane. Presentation wise, this game is flawless.
Okay, at this point I am about 5 or 6 hours into the game. I am still on chapter 2 and have only done a couple more story missions, but I have done a good bit of exploring too. So far, I have experienced 2 bugs. One was when a story mission required me to get on a horse to take and sell at the Valentine stable and the horse was invisible during the cutscene and non-existent when it switched to gameplay. A quick restart solved this, but still the bug was present during a main story mission.
The other happened during a random stranger encounter. I was riding through an open area full of lumberjacks cutting down trees and one of the trees fell on a guy's leg. I got off my horse and ran over to help, but while doing so, I saw a bunch of bounty hunter symbols appear on the mini map. I ignored them and pressed the button prompt to help lift the tree, but while doing so, the bounty hunters appeared and fired their guns in the air. The rest of the men fled and I was left standing beside the guy that was trapped under the tree, unable to move or do anything. As I stood and spammed every button trying to make Arthur move, the bounty hunters just surrounded me and pointed their guns towards me, but none of them shot. We were left in this awkward standoff for a few minutes before I eventually gave up and had to restart. This second bug is probably the more egregious of the two I've had so far, as I now have no way of knowing if I am going to be able to get that random encounter again.
This is annoying as the random encounters are by far the best part of this game so far. I don't want to spoil too many of them here, but they range from exciting to terrifying to just plain sad and all of them are brilliant.
As I settle into Arthur as a character, I realise more and more how much I prefer and miss playing as John. John was cool where Arthur is goofy. John was smooth where Arthur is wooden. Don't get me wrong, Arthur is well written and acted, but I really think he would play better as a side character rather than a protagonist. Plus the way I play him totally contradicts his whole attitude. I'm playing him as a ruthless killer who shoots entire groups of people on sight and he is still a lovable, goofy rogue in cutscenes.
I have played a few more hours over the last few nights, I must be around 10 hours in now, (although there doesn't seem to be any way of checking that for sure.) I am still on Chapter 2 in terms of the story, but I have been doing a lot of exploring and have found/bought a decent amount of better gear and weapons for Arthur. It also turns out that there is some fast travel in this game, if you upgrade Dutch's tent via the camp ledger and then upgrade your own, (costs about $500 all in,) you can fast travel from the camp to any major location that you have previously visited. Unfortunately while I was fast travelling last night to a location, I experience the first occurrence of pop-in that I have seen so far in the game. I understand that this game is extremely vast and there is a great deal to load in, but when every other aspect of the game is so polished in terms of presentation, it stuck out like a sore thumb.
In terms of exploration, I have probably spent less than half of my 10 hours in the game so far doing story missions and instead spent the majority of my time just riding/walking around and taking in the sights, or speaking to strangers, or violently robbing and killing them at gunpoint whenever the notion takes me. Strawberry is a cool little town, it is quite similar to Valentine in terms of the size and the available shops etc. St Denis is another story. Located at the south-east corner of the map, it is a huge, bustling city with an overwhelming amount to take in. Without spoiling too much, it will also open up a few more opportunities for Arthur once you get there.
I have played a lot more of the game since I last updated this, I'd guess I am closer to 20 hours playtime than 10 at this point. I have finally progressed to Chapter 3, the gang has moved camp to near another small town called Rhodes, which has lots to see and do considering it's small size. That is one thing that Rockstar have undoubtedly nailed in this game, making these towns truly feel alive and like they continue to exist even when you are not riding through them. I'd go as far as to say that this open world feels more alive than any other one that I have spent time in.
The story missions up until this point are touch and go. Some are really fun and exciting and some are monotonous and boring and feel more like busywork than progress. I much prefer the side missions up to this point. The debt collecting missions and the bounty missions are satisfying and feel worthwhile. The robbery side missions that you do with certain gang members are also a nice, more engaging change from the slower pace of the story.
In terms of the game's characters, I am just as much of as a fan of John Marston as I was in the last game and I must admit that spending more time with Arthur has made him grow on me slightly. As for the rest of the gang though, it's a mixed bag. I like Sean, Charles, Javier and Lenny, but the rest are just annoying and a chore to be around. One major disappointment regarding the characters for me, is that I thought that this game was going to make me sympathise with Dutch and see things from his perspective, the way that MGS 3 did for Big Boss, but no. Apparently he was always an unlikable dick.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated the PlayStation 4 version of Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order in Video Games
Mar 1, 2020 (Updated Mar 1, 2020)
Wasted Potential
So I just finished Jedi: Fallen Order and it's left me feeling confused. Not because of some complex twist or story revelation, but because on paper I should have loved every minute of this game. You take the parkour movement and sense of adventure from a game like Uncharted and you give it to a Jedi, who we follow during some of the darkest days in the Star Wars lore and what do you get?
Apparently you get something that doesn't feel like Star Wars.
I have a fair number of problems with this game, so I'm going to go ahead and list them and explain why they bothered me so much during my experience playing through Fallen Order.
First of all, when this game dropped and did pretty well commercially and critically, EA were commended in the games media for having the guts to release a single-player, story based Star Wars game with no online play. When the reviews dropped just before the game's release, this news got me really hyped as I have never been much for online gaming and much prefer story based games over anything else. Now whilst EA did give us a single-player, offline Star Wars story, they did so in such a sloppy, janky, half-finished fashion.
I lost count of the amount of times that I had to restart my game because of loading errors or game breaking bugs. Almost every time I would enter a new area the characters would initially appear in a T-pose position and remain that way for a good few seconds until I approached them. Onscreen prompts would often fail to appear making the game's already confusing exploration methods even more unclear. I have not seen this much pop-in in a videogame since the first version of No Man's Sky. Almost every area was covered in murky textures upon initially entering them, with some entire structures and areas failing to render. During a few boss fights, the AI character would fail to attack me and just stand still and no matter how many blows I would land on them, their health bar would not budge until I fully reloaded the level. This sort of thing was present during every one of my play sessions and at a few points the game became almost unplayable due to it's glaring technical glitches. Also, I got this game as a Christmas gift, so it has been out for a decent amount of time. A game of this calibre, that has been out for months at this point, from a major studio like Respawn and a publisher like EA, not to mention being from a major franchise like Star Wars, - the fact that it is in the current broken state that it's in is frankly unacceptable.
The next issue I had was the story and characters in the game. The game's protagonist Cal, is an unsympathetic, whiny bitch of a character that got on my nerves every time he opened his mouth. The rest of the crew were also pretty bland, unendearing and lacking in much personality. I grew up loving the Star Wars universe, yet I found myself trying in vain to skip almost every cutscene and really not giving a crap what happens to any one of the characters. The villains were unengaging and the other side characters like Cal's master and the old dude that left holograms for Cal to find got increasingly annoying every time they appeared. The only character I found engaging throughout the whole game was Sister Merrin.
I always thought Jedi Knights were supposed to be extremely capable, powerful warriors, yet at no point in this game do you ever feel powerful in any significant way. The whole time, you feel on par with the non descript enemies that you are fighting. While I agree that the last major AAA single-player Star Wars game, The Force Unleashed was too easy, at least you felt powerful while playing as that character. The combat never feels as satisfying as it should due to the lack of dismemberment. The decision not to allow the player to chop off limbs makes it feels more like you are hitting enemy shaped piñatas with a big stick, rather than welding a laser sword of pure, raw energy. I also felt that there was a lack of variation in the combos and moves-set and found myself watching the same animations over and again no matter what combination of buttons I was mashing. Every fight in this game is hard and not in a fun,challenging way, but instead in a grinding, irritating way. The ridiculously long loading times also made dying even more frustrating. If you are going to design a game where the player is going to die frequently, you HAVE TO have a snappy respawn system in place à la Super Meat Boy or Hotline Miami. (Especially when your fucking studio is called RESPAWN, but I digress.) They were clearly going for a more defensive, methodical approach to the combat system, which is fine, but they should have given you a choice between that and a more aggressive, offensive skill tree, meaning that more play styles could be catered to. Another majorly annoying thing was the way that the game justified unlocking new skills for Cal, with him having out-of-the-blue flashbacks at seemingly random points in the story where he would suddenly remember that he could wall-run or double-jump. I hate when games do this, it feels extremely lazy and unjustified within the context of the story that is being presented. Another thing that bothered me gameplay-wise was the checkpoint system. The whole refilling your health = respawning the enemies thing felt really arcady and often broke immersion.
Something else that I hate in games is when the game tries to pretend that it is an open world game rather than a linear experience, which this game does. I don't understand why you would want to masquerade as an open world game when that mechanic has been so oversaturated for this entire generation. After you play through the game's intro and get access to the ship, you are given the impression that you can choose what order to visit each planet and progress though the game. However this is not the case. When I was first given the choice to pick a planet, I chose Dathomir as I am a big Darth Maul fan and thought it would be cool to explore his home turf. I got there and was making my way through the clear-as-mud holomap when I got to a section where I could not progress. There was a jump that I just could not make no matter how many times I tried. After eventually getting fed up I had to look up a walkthrough to find out how to progress whereupon I learned that you actually need to go to the other planet first and gain an ability to make this jump. Now even if I did design my game so poorly that I let the player go to the wrong planet on their first travel, I would have at least had the decency to put in a prompt at the un-passable jump to let the player know that they don't have the skills to progress here yet and to go to the other planet and return here later. It could have been a voiceover from a crew member or even an immersion-breaking piece of text, but something would have been nice to prevent me having to look up a walkthrough to learn this fact. Witnessing this ineptitude in game design from such a major studio was shocking. So yeah, from that point on, - lesson learned, - I just followed the checkpoints to decide what my next planet would be to travel to, but then why even give players the illusion of choice in this? Why not just usher the player automatically to the next planet they need to visit after they return to the ship?
My final and biggest issue with this game is despite it being a Star Wars game, it never really felt like Star Wars. I noticed this during the first third of the game in the some of the character designs. Some of the side characters looked more akin to something from Ratchet & Clank than from the Star Wars universe. Then as I was playing through Kashyyyk and fighting spiders and giant slugs, I'm thinking to myself, I don't ever remember Luke Skywalker doing this and that dude lived and trained in a swamp for like a year. Then the shark was well and truly jumped. Upon revisiting Dathomir and finally being able to make some progress, a character literally raises bodies from the ground for you to fight. That's right, they put zombies in a Star Wars game. I thought since Disney had taken control of Star Wars, that they were way stricter than Lucas ever was about what does and doesn't get into the Star Wars universe, so whoever greenlit this zombie shit over at Disney should really get the boot. I can't quite believe that I'm saying this, but if you want a more authentic and higher quality Star Wars videogame experience, go play Battlefront 2. Sure it may have had an extremely messy launch and been marred with controversy ever since, but at least it feels like Star Wars.
There were a sparse few things that I did enjoy. As I mentioned above, Merrin was a fairly engaging and well acted character. The Lightsaber customisation was also pretty neat. I also enjoyed the music and (SPOILERS,) the brief appearance that Darth Vader makes. However the music is only great because it's the Star Wars score and whilst Vader's appearance as an unstoppable force was cool here, I personally feel like it was done better in Rogue One.
So yeah, I kind of feel like I played a different game to everyone else. I really wanted to fall in love with this game and I kept waiting for it to win me over, but unfortunately it never did. I think that there is potential here for something better, mostly owed to the interesting time period the game is set in on the Star Wars timeline, so I really hope that they take the few good elements that were present in Fallen Order and improve upon everything else for the sequel.
Apparently you get something that doesn't feel like Star Wars.
I have a fair number of problems with this game, so I'm going to go ahead and list them and explain why they bothered me so much during my experience playing through Fallen Order.
First of all, when this game dropped and did pretty well commercially and critically, EA were commended in the games media for having the guts to release a single-player, story based Star Wars game with no online play. When the reviews dropped just before the game's release, this news got me really hyped as I have never been much for online gaming and much prefer story based games over anything else. Now whilst EA did give us a single-player, offline Star Wars story, they did so in such a sloppy, janky, half-finished fashion.
I lost count of the amount of times that I had to restart my game because of loading errors or game breaking bugs. Almost every time I would enter a new area the characters would initially appear in a T-pose position and remain that way for a good few seconds until I approached them. Onscreen prompts would often fail to appear making the game's already confusing exploration methods even more unclear. I have not seen this much pop-in in a videogame since the first version of No Man's Sky. Almost every area was covered in murky textures upon initially entering them, with some entire structures and areas failing to render. During a few boss fights, the AI character would fail to attack me and just stand still and no matter how many blows I would land on them, their health bar would not budge until I fully reloaded the level. This sort of thing was present during every one of my play sessions and at a few points the game became almost unplayable due to it's glaring technical glitches. Also, I got this game as a Christmas gift, so it has been out for a decent amount of time. A game of this calibre, that has been out for months at this point, from a major studio like Respawn and a publisher like EA, not to mention being from a major franchise like Star Wars, - the fact that it is in the current broken state that it's in is frankly unacceptable.
The next issue I had was the story and characters in the game. The game's protagonist Cal, is an unsympathetic, whiny bitch of a character that got on my nerves every time he opened his mouth. The rest of the crew were also pretty bland, unendearing and lacking in much personality. I grew up loving the Star Wars universe, yet I found myself trying in vain to skip almost every cutscene and really not giving a crap what happens to any one of the characters. The villains were unengaging and the other side characters like Cal's master and the old dude that left holograms for Cal to find got increasingly annoying every time they appeared. The only character I found engaging throughout the whole game was Sister Merrin.
I always thought Jedi Knights were supposed to be extremely capable, powerful warriors, yet at no point in this game do you ever feel powerful in any significant way. The whole time, you feel on par with the non descript enemies that you are fighting. While I agree that the last major AAA single-player Star Wars game, The Force Unleashed was too easy, at least you felt powerful while playing as that character. The combat never feels as satisfying as it should due to the lack of dismemberment. The decision not to allow the player to chop off limbs makes it feels more like you are hitting enemy shaped piñatas with a big stick, rather than welding a laser sword of pure, raw energy. I also felt that there was a lack of variation in the combos and moves-set and found myself watching the same animations over and again no matter what combination of buttons I was mashing. Every fight in this game is hard and not in a fun,challenging way, but instead in a grinding, irritating way. The ridiculously long loading times also made dying even more frustrating. If you are going to design a game where the player is going to die frequently, you HAVE TO have a snappy respawn system in place à la Super Meat Boy or Hotline Miami. (Especially when your fucking studio is called RESPAWN, but I digress.) They were clearly going for a more defensive, methodical approach to the combat system, which is fine, but they should have given you a choice between that and a more aggressive, offensive skill tree, meaning that more play styles could be catered to. Another majorly annoying thing was the way that the game justified unlocking new skills for Cal, with him having out-of-the-blue flashbacks at seemingly random points in the story where he would suddenly remember that he could wall-run or double-jump. I hate when games do this, it feels extremely lazy and unjustified within the context of the story that is being presented. Another thing that bothered me gameplay-wise was the checkpoint system. The whole refilling your health = respawning the enemies thing felt really arcady and often broke immersion.
Something else that I hate in games is when the game tries to pretend that it is an open world game rather than a linear experience, which this game does. I don't understand why you would want to masquerade as an open world game when that mechanic has been so oversaturated for this entire generation. After you play through the game's intro and get access to the ship, you are given the impression that you can choose what order to visit each planet and progress though the game. However this is not the case. When I was first given the choice to pick a planet, I chose Dathomir as I am a big Darth Maul fan and thought it would be cool to explore his home turf. I got there and was making my way through the clear-as-mud holomap when I got to a section where I could not progress. There was a jump that I just could not make no matter how many times I tried. After eventually getting fed up I had to look up a walkthrough to find out how to progress whereupon I learned that you actually need to go to the other planet first and gain an ability to make this jump. Now even if I did design my game so poorly that I let the player go to the wrong planet on their first travel, I would have at least had the decency to put in a prompt at the un-passable jump to let the player know that they don't have the skills to progress here yet and to go to the other planet and return here later. It could have been a voiceover from a crew member or even an immersion-breaking piece of text, but something would have been nice to prevent me having to look up a walkthrough to learn this fact. Witnessing this ineptitude in game design from such a major studio was shocking. So yeah, from that point on, - lesson learned, - I just followed the checkpoints to decide what my next planet would be to travel to, but then why even give players the illusion of choice in this? Why not just usher the player automatically to the next planet they need to visit after they return to the ship?
My final and biggest issue with this game is despite it being a Star Wars game, it never really felt like Star Wars. I noticed this during the first third of the game in the some of the character designs. Some of the side characters looked more akin to something from Ratchet & Clank than from the Star Wars universe. Then as I was playing through Kashyyyk and fighting spiders and giant slugs, I'm thinking to myself, I don't ever remember Luke Skywalker doing this and that dude lived and trained in a swamp for like a year. Then the shark was well and truly jumped. Upon revisiting Dathomir and finally being able to make some progress, a character literally raises bodies from the ground for you to fight. That's right, they put zombies in a Star Wars game. I thought since Disney had taken control of Star Wars, that they were way stricter than Lucas ever was about what does and doesn't get into the Star Wars universe, so whoever greenlit this zombie shit over at Disney should really get the boot. I can't quite believe that I'm saying this, but if you want a more authentic and higher quality Star Wars videogame experience, go play Battlefront 2. Sure it may have had an extremely messy launch and been marred with controversy ever since, but at least it feels like Star Wars.
There were a sparse few things that I did enjoy. As I mentioned above, Merrin was a fairly engaging and well acted character. The Lightsaber customisation was also pretty neat. I also enjoyed the music and (SPOILERS,) the brief appearance that Darth Vader makes. However the music is only great because it's the Star Wars score and whilst Vader's appearance as an unstoppable force was cool here, I personally feel like it was done better in Rogue One.
So yeah, I kind of feel like I played a different game to everyone else. I really wanted to fall in love with this game and I kept waiting for it to win me over, but unfortunately it never did. I think that there is potential here for something better, mostly owed to the interesting time period the game is set in on the Star Wars timeline, so I really hope that they take the few good elements that were present in Fallen Order and improve upon everything else for the sequel.