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Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)
Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)
2015 | Comedy, Horror
We film-goers really can’t get enough of zombies. The brain-munching, cannibalistic horrors used to be the stuff of nightmares. But as our tastes became more extreme, the flesh-eaters managed to slip into the mainstream with genre-bending films at the forefront of zombie resurgence.

Christopher B. Landon brings zombies back to the silver screen with horror comedy, Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. Are we looking at a US version of Shaun of the Dead? Or something a little more dead behind the eyes?

Scouts Guide follows the tale of three teenage boys, having to battle not only their raging hormones, but a raging horde of zombies in a small town during the course of one evening. Starring rising star Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller and Joey Morgan as the aforementioned teens and the ever-likeable David Koechner as their scout leader, the trio must survive and defeat the creatures.

To create a successful zombie film, you need to know your monsters and this is where things start to unravel here. There are so many inconsistences that it’s difficult knowing where to begin. Instead of choosing a zombie-typing, like fast walkers from World War Z or traditional moaners like those from Shaun of the Dead, Scouts Guide uses both and the result simply doesn’t work.

Then there’s the plot. It’s so riddled with holes, cheap jumps and clichés that it’s almost impossible to fully immerse yourself in the experience. The makeup on the zombies is also terrifically poor, lacking in any sort of terror or real detail.

Thankfully, the acting from the lead three scouts is good with Sheridan in particular proving why he’s fast becoming one to watch, especially after being cast in next year’s X-Men: Apocalypse. The remainder of the characters are cardboard cut-outs with no backstory and no real gravitas when it comes to how the story will play out.

Nevertheless, there are some funny and genuinely clever moments dotted throughout Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. A living-room chase choreographed to Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 is a hilarious, albeit too short highlight in a film that needed more intriguing and unique sequences.

There’s also a nice, if unusually placed, homage to John Carpenter’s Halloween that whilst being particularly tasteful, is at odds with the film’s genre.

Overall, Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is as beige as a blood-filled horror comedy can come. Despite a couple of clever scenes, some good acting and a reasonably fluid directing style, it’s a damp squib of a movie that never really gets into its groove.


https://moviemetropolis.net/2015/11/15/dead-behind-the-eyes-scouts-guide-to-the-zombie-apocalypse-review/
  
The Last House on the Left (2009)
The Last House on the Left (2009)
2009 | Drama, Horror, Mystery
5
6.7 (10 Ratings)
Movie Rating
In 1972, horror icon Wes Craven made a name for himself by writing and directing a film called “The Last House on the Left.” The film was very controversial and helped launch a new genre of terror and suspense films that pushed the limits of the times. The film was notorious for its content which included rape, torture, humiliation, and violence and contains to this day some of the most disturbing images ever captured on film. In this age of remakes, prequels, and sequels, Wes Craven has stepped aside to produce a new version of his classic and this remake is sure to be as controversial and disturbing as the original was.

The film centers around 17 year old Mari Collingwood (Sara Paxton), who is taking time off from her competitive swimming and school to spend the summer with her parents Emma and John (Monica Potter and Tony Goldwyn), at their remote cabin in the woods. The family is coming to grips with the loss of their son, and Mari is anxious to spend some time with her friend Paige (Martha MacIssac), whom she has not seen in a while.

Despite concerns from her mother, Mari is given the keys to the car by her father and travels into town to see Paige. The two girls meet a boy named Justin (Spencer Treat Clark), and proceed to go back to his room to party. The three of them are having a great time until Justin’s father Krug (Garrett Dillahunt), as well as his uncle and father’s girlfriend return unexpectedly. Krug and the group are wanted convicts after a bloody escape that has left two officers dead and Krug and his family the subject of an intense manhunt. The presence of Paige and Mari is an unwanted complication and the two girls are kidnapped and taken deep into the woods. After a failed escape attempt, the unstable group set upon the girls in a series of violent physical and psychological torture and acts before brutally finishing with them and leaving them for dead.

When an unexpected storm arrives, the fugitives take refuge at the only house in the area which happens to be Mari’s home. The Collingwood’s take the stranded group in and render medical assistance thanks to John’s background as a doctor. Unaware of the evil they have let into their home, the Collingwood’s life is turned upside down when their nearly dead daughter appears on their doorstep and forces the family to do whatever it takes to survive.

What follows is a dark, violent, and intense finale that goes to extreme measures to underscore the brutality and desperation the family has been driven to in order to survive. This may lead to some using the popular phrase “torture porn” to describe the film, but that would imply a film that existed in no other context but to titillate an audience with pain and suffering. The film is thin on plot and character development, making it simply a film about revenge and the depths people will go to in order to survive and protect their loved ones. The film is a bit slow at parts but few people will forget some of the more intense moments of the film include the finale. As with “The Hills Have Eyes”, Craven created settings where ideal families were driven to extreme measures when confronted with life outside of the safe suburbs in which they dwelled. The film will shock and dismay some, but few will forget the disturbing images anytime soon.
  
Saw (2004)
Saw (2004)
2004 | Horror
One of the most impressive cinematic debuts in memory has arrived in theaters and showcases a very impressive writer/director team that seem poised for great things based on a very impressive debut.

The film is “Saw” and it is a triumph of suspense, horror, and drama that harkens back to the classic work of David Fincher, and dare I say Hitchcock, as it is a bold and daring film, that is a fresh and creative as it is innovative.

The film is written by and features Leigh Whannell, as Adam, a young man who awakens in a dark room in a bathtub filled with water. Although disoriented, Adam soon discovers he is not alone, as he shares the room with another man, Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes), who like him, is chained at the ankle and trapped in the room.

As bad as this is, there is a dead body in the middle of the room that underscores the peril of the situation. Adam and Lawrence eventually discover audio tapes and a player that indicate that they are being held as they do not appreciate the life that they have and as such, are going to lose it unless they can prove how much they want to live.

Lawrence is told via the taped instructions that if he does not kill Adam by 6:00, then his wife and daughter will be killed and clues are given to indicate where to look in the decrepit room. The fact that Adam and Lawrence are chained and have very limited mobility forces the two of them to work with one another, despite the mistrust Adam has towards Lawrence as he was the one they tape said had to be killed.

Lawrence begins to tell Adam that he thinks he knows who is behind their situation, as there has been a series of murders in the area and he was suspect. Through a series of flashbacks Lawrence informs Adam about the Jigsaw killer, who places victims in perilous situations but provides them with a way out, provided they are willing to take extreme measures to show how much they want to live. The bizarre and gruesome situations lead to the introduction of Detective David Tapp (Danny Glover), who is investigating the grizzly trail left by the killer. In many ways, “Saw” become two movies in one as we learn about the history of the crimes, and the investigation leading up to the present situation between Lawrence and Adam. The film also cleverly guises certain events keeping the audience guessing as to if they happened in the past or are occurring in the present adding to the mystery and suspense.

As the story unfolds we learn more about Adam that underscores the tension and allows new avenues for the story to unfold. I will not spoil the twists and turns of the story but suffice it to say, there are plenty of red herrings and plot twists that will keep the audience guessing and some very creative and shocking twists and turns that culminates in an ending that will become one of the most talked about in film history and is destined to carve a niche in horror history.

Director James Wan, who also created the story, has crafted a visually gripping and disturbing film with a very effective pace that shows ability and talent well beyond his years. The film is so masterfully shot and organized that it is hard to believe that this is his first film, as Dramas can often be the downfall of many directors as they are unable to draw tension out of the material.

The screenplay by Whanell is gripping and effective. The characters are defined well within the context of their situations as it is vital to the story that information about the characters is slowly released to the audience in order to create and maintain the tension.

“Saw” is a true wonder as instead of being a simple horror film, it is a deeply complex and disturbing film that showcases two talented individuals in a very impressive debut. The images and story of the film stay with you long after the film ends and like it or love it “Saw” is a well crafted film that is not only disturbing, but refreshingly original. My only issue with the film is that it did drag just a bit while leading up to the finale, but that being said, “Saw” is easily the best horror film in many years.
  
Ready or Not (2019)
Ready or Not (2019)
2019 | Comedy, Horror, Mystery
Verdict: Blood Soaked Wedding

Story: Ready or Not starts on what should be Grace’s (Weaving) greatest day, her wedding day to Alex (O’Brien) which will put her into the famous gaming family Le Domas. With the wedding at Alex’s family home, she is welcomed by the likes of his brother Daniel (Brody), his father Tony (Czerny) and his mother Becky (MacDowell).
The family has an unusual tradition of playing a randomly selected game, which can be a simple game like chess, but tonight Grace selects Hide and Seek, a game which means the whole family will hunt her down before dawn, being a race for her to survive.

Thoughts on Ready or Not

Characters – Grace is a woman that was raised through the foster system, now she has met the love of her life in Alex and is hoping to be part of a family for the first time in her life. Like most people she is nervous on her wedding day, eager to impress her new family too, but nothing will prepare her for the night, where she must learn to fight to survive when her new family is hunting to capture her. Alex is the man that is going to marry Grace, he has become distant from his family, but knows the traditions that must be followed, he doesn’t give everything away to Grace, knowing it will scary her away, though he doesn’t want to get involved in everything once the game starts. Daniel is Alex’s brother, he hates being part of the family, he wants nothing to do with the game, but reluctantly agrees to play along with little to no enthusiasm, being one of the few people that will help Grace. Tony is the father of the household, he has made the family bigger that ever and wants to continue the traditions that were bought upon the family, he will do anything to make sure the tradition is upheld. We do meet other members of the family including Becky the wife of Tony, mother of the boys, her daughter Emilie alone with the spouses Fitch who will get the most laughs in the film and Charity.
Performances – Samara Weaving kills it in the leading role, first she puts up a fight, secondly, she gives us natural looking reactions to everything that is going on. Adam Brody gives us a strong performance that makes us want to be like his character in this situation. Mark O’Brien is strong, but doesn’t reach the levels of the fellow stars of the film. Henry Czerny is fun through this film, he starts welcoming, turns psychotic and soon becomes a loose cannon as things get out of control, Henry makes us want to see more from his character through this film.
Story – The story here follows a woman that is getting married, only to learn that her wedding night is going to have a twist, she must play a game with the family, with this being a extreme, hide and seek, in a battle for life. This is a story that takes the most important day in anybody’s life and turns it into a nightmare, which will see Grace needing to fight to survive against a family that will do anything to hunt her down to continue having their fame and fortune. It does show how the rich will do anything to get away with something big in their lives, even murder, while it does show us just how games can be turned into something bigger than just a board game.
Horror/Mystery – The horror in the film does come from the gore that we do see, both towards Grace and to other innocent victims in the game, one scene involving a hand is extremely difficult to watch. The mystery in the film does look at how the family is acting, like what will happen if they don’t win.
Settings – The film is set in one location, the giant mansion of the Le Domas, this shows how many different potential hiding spots we could see and how much she is playing on away ground.
Special Effects – The effects in the film are brutal to see, it is mostly all the injuries being inflicted through the film, as mentioned before the hand sequence is one that will make most wince.

Scene of the Movie – How to use a crossbow.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – We do get a lot of time jumps here, considering this is taking place over about seven hours.
Final Thoughts – This is an entertaining humour filled horror that will keep you on the edge of your seat seeing if Grace will make it out alive and just what will happen next.

Overall: Fun survival horror.
  
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Lou Grande (148 KP) rated Hogg in Books

May 28, 2018  
Hogg
Hogg
Samuel R. Delany | 2015 | Fiction & Poetry
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Please, please, please proceed with caution
HOGG was written in 1968, a few short months before the Stonewall Riots. Brimming with anger and pent up sexuality, HOGG is (by the author's admission) a pornographic novel for nobody. It's the kind of novel that's hard to describe as "good," even though it's masterfully constructed and hard-hitting. It's also disgusting on a deep, visceral level--multiple levels, actually.

The (mostly) nameless, voiceless narrator of HOGG is an underage boy of possibly mixed race who begins his narrative by immediately shifting focus from himself to Hogg, a character so vile that it's hard to write a PG description of him. His profession is that of a rape artist. He rapes specific women in exchange for cash and enjoys his work, though admittedly he prefers the company of men.

When the narrator and Hogg meet, it leads to a weekend of unspeakable violence and puke-worthy sex. Racism literally abounds; some characters are referred to just by an epithet, and some of their names are only revealed in police reports. HOGG, the novel, plays on our sense of pity--we want to feel bad for the narrator. It's easy to see him as a victim of society. But as the pages go on, it gets harder and harder as he becomes more than an active participant in the goings-on.

The word "love" is never mentioned in the 200+ page novel, but the reader can feel an approximation of it in the relationship between Hogg and the narrator--maybe. This makes the ending just that much more powerful, when the narrator speaks his only line of dialogue.

This is a very powerful book, whether you can find something redeemable in it or not. It's very much a product of its time, and furthermore, it SAYS something, which I think these so-called "extreme" horror authors could learn a thing about. HOGG is not just filth for the sake of filth, or violence for the sake of violence. When put in context, it's heart-breaking and vile at the same time. I don't know if another book has ever made me feel this way.
  
The Brood (1979)
The Brood (1979)
1979 | Horror, Sci-Fi
An R rated version of Inside Out?
Frank Carveth is just a father with some problems. His wife is currently enrolled in an intense, secluded, mysterious form of psychotherapy being conducted by an unusual doctor. His eccentric mother-in-law, has just been murdered through unusual circumstances and his young daughter is showing signs of physical abuse at the hands of his institutionalized wife that he must now investigate.

After the murder, his father-in-law also arrives, the situation worsens as he attempts to visit his daughter while in therapy without success. Still grief stricken, he wants to confront the doctor or at least understand what is happening.

Here is where the story becomes very unusual. The brutality being dispatched to various individuals is being administered by disfigured "dwarves" or misshapen children which makes no sense to Frank or the police which asks more questions.

After learning additional details, Frank returns to his wife's benefactor for a final confrontation with her and the doctor to ensure the release of his kidnapped daughter.

Cronenberg's early body horror films still stand as some of the most provocative of the gene and this film is certainly no exception. The deformed assailants provide immediate unique intrigue in the film representing something you have never seen previously and it only gets worse.

The total brutality they complete upon their victims is worsened by the fact some of it is even performed in front of children who would obviously be scarred for years to come.

The final reveal of "The Brood" is so intense, bizarre and graphic it will still turn off, repulse or offend almost anyone who watches it. Only true fans of the macabre, strange and totally extreme will find this palpable.

The great Oliver Reed is especially intense in his performance as the unconventional doctor performing his ritualistic treatments which include offbeat role plays where he has conversations with his patents pretending to be other people.

I can only imagine the reaction this film had upon its release in 1979.

  
Evil dead rise (2023)
Evil dead rise (2023)
2023 | Horror
7
7.8 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Usually when a film series is embarking on a fifth outing the challenges
of keeping things fresh and original yet being new and creative can be a
massive obstacle.

Horror series ranging from “Halloween” to “Friday the 13th”, “SAW”, and
“A Nightmare on Elm Street” all faced issues with moving the series along
yet trying to stay true to the original film that inspired them and in
every case; failing to fully capture what made the original film a hit.

“Evil Dead Rise” is not only the latest entry into the series but a bold
take on the cinematic series as it abandons the remote cabin setting of
the first two films and the reboot in favor of an urban setting.

The film does open in a remote lakeside locale before jumping a day
earlier to California where estranged sisters Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland)
and Beth (Lilly Sullivan) reunite. Beth has been working as a guitar
technician and bristles that her sister refers to her as a groupie.

Ellie is raising three children after their father left and informs her
sister that the building they are living in is scheduled to be demolished
so they will have to move soon which is a shock to Beth as she has learned
that she is pregnant and is trying to figure out her life all the while
seeing what she thought would be a source of stability for her upended.

The arrival of an earthquake allows access to a hidden area in the parking
garage of their building and since the locale was a former bank; the kids
soon find a hidden book and records which the only son Danny (Morgan
Davies) hopes he can sell despite his sister Bridget (Gabrielle Echols)
admonishing him constantly to leave it alone and return it to where it was
found.

The book turns out to be a Necronomicon or “Book of the Dead” and as fans
of the series know; nothing good ever comes from one and thanks to playing
old records left by a Priest describing his thoughts on the book; a
summoning incantation is read and this causes Ellie to become possessed
and unleash grotesque carnage and terror on her family.

What follows is a gory and at times intense game of cat and mouse
punctuated by moments of levity as the demonic infestation knows no end.

The film has the over-the top- gore that is expected of the series and the
makeup and effects are very effective. Writer?Director Lee Cronin has done
a great job capturing the tone of the series while moving it forward as he
cleverly incorporates lines and nods to the series without making them
seem forced.

Some may find the excess of blood too much but the series has always been
known for taking things to the extreme as the blend of horror and comedic
parody is what made the original film such a success.

In the end “Evil Dead Rise” does enough to keep fans of the series happy
and hopefully we will be seeing a new entry in the series in the future.

3.5 stars out of 5
  
Dance of the Dead (2008)
Dance of the Dead (2008)
2008 | Action, Horror
3
5.3 (3 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Jimmy Dunn (Jared Kusnitz) never seems to take anything seriously. He likes to spend more time in detention than he does in class. So it’s no surprise that Lindsey (Greyson Chadwick), the girl Jimmy was going to take to prom, decides to not go with him after realizing that Jimmy has no ambition. To make matters worse, something weird is going on in the graveyard next to the nuclear power plant in town. The dead are walking and they’re headed to the prom. The town is now in the hands of the losers who couldn’t get dates to the prom. There goes the neighborhood and here comes the pain; that is something that is certainly meant in more ways than one.

This is the type of horror film you have the urge to turn off as soon as it starts. Written by Joe Ballarini (My Little Pony: The Movie) and directed by Gregg Bishop (the “Dante the Great” segment of V/H/S Viral), Dance of the Dead is a part of the eight films that made up Ghost House Underground; horror films from all over the world chosen by Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert supposedly representing a “fresh” perspective of the horror genre. The problem is that most people would seek out one of these films and then never bother with the rest because why would you torture yourself any further?

The first 20 or so minutes of the film revolve around high school melodrama and the prom. This is supposedly where you get accustomed to the film’s humor, but it’s mostly nothing more than high school kids being obnoxious and unbearable. The graveyard scene is where things get even worse. Zombies start rising from beyond the grave and decomposing hands start bursting through headstones since that makes more sense than soil. Emerging from the ground simply wasn’t enough either; these zombies explode from their graves with smoke and a loud crash. Moments later during the same sequence, there are zombies jumping several feet into the air out of the ground, landing on their feet, and running after these kids. If it sounds cool in the slightest, then this description isn’t doing this dumpster fire justice.

The zombies are all over the place in Dance of the Dead. They start off as the zombies that run similar to the zombies in Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake. Later on in the film, they stumble around and are slow like George Romero’s zombies. Even later after that, the zombies are running again while some attempt to speak, say, “Brains!” and then get in a car and drive off. Someone had pointed out that the zombies in the film who are fresh out of the ground run while older ones move slower, which only makes this turd milkshake slightly less nutty. Dance of the Dead also can’t decide what zombie films to pay homage to either. Return of the Living Dead has a massive influence, but the film clearly pays tribute to Night of the Living Dead when the kids reach a house and decide to board up all the windows and take shelter. It seems like the one consistent aspect this film has is to be inconsistent.

Did you know zombies can be held at bay solely by the power of rocking out? Three stoners in a band (a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer) inadvertently discover that their music stops zombies in their tracks. A bit later in the film during the prom, the gymnasium is full of zombies. There’s music playing and it shows three zombies on stage playing musical instruments; a guitar, a bass, and a drum set. Fast forward a little more and the three stoners are back again playing their stoner rock and the zombies are back to being frozen during their performance. There’s no consistency when it comes to what they play or how it affects zombies.

“In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain.” Do you remember this quote from Shaun of the Dead? Try to keep it in mind, especially the, “removing the head,” part. A guy gets his head torn off by a zombie and you’d think he’d be dead, but this actually turns his decapitated head into a zombie. He comes back later on; his headless corpse carrying his decapitated head around. It’s one thing to try and reinvent a genre, but when you have so many reinventions along with homage out to wazoo you’re basically throwing cow pies at a brick wall and seeing what sticks.

Zombies shouldn’t make out with each other. Vampires shouldn’t sparkle and Warm Bodies isn’t canon. Two students turn into zombies and still end up in a giant make out session after they’ve turned. The kiss turns awkward as they start chewing on each other mid-kiss. They start taking bites out of each other while they’re still sucking face. This is the scariest aspect of the film considering that maybe most of us don’t want our eyeballs chewed out of our skulls during something so intimate.

When the special effects aren’t being a complete eyesore from being so cheap and ugly, the gore in Dance of the Dead is decent. Blood splattering everywhere is pretty common throughout the film. The acting isn’t completely terrible either. It absolutely isn’t good by any means. Dance of the Dead is basically Degrassi with zombies and everything lame you’re expecting to tag along with that reference. Lucas Till (X-Men: First Class, MacGyver) has a brief cameo as one of the rockers in the film and he's probably the only cast member you'll recognize.

The jumbled mass of homage and redefining of zombie lore in Dance of the Dead throws a monkey wrench in calling the film stereotypical and cliché, but it certainly feels that way. It seems like a rejected, alternate, first draft of a film you’ve already seen rather than a film that attempts to stand on its own two legs. It may be fun for fans of campy horror films, but its originality is borderline offensive since Dance of the Dead seems to just combine everything you know about zombies or purposely does the opposite at an attempt at being a different chomp of undead horror. Unfortunately though, Dance of the Dead is too overwhelmingly absurd for its own good as its gore feels like the drunken antics of a washed up clown rather than a competent horror film.

Dance of the Dead is available to stream on Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Google Play for $1.99, Vudu for $2.99, and iTunes for $5.99. The DVD is $7.72 on Amazon while the Blu-ray (which is Region 2 only) is $25.52 from a third party seller. The DVD is $7.49 in new condition and with free shipping on eBay or $4 with $2.99 shipping pre-owned. If you enjoy terrible things, the eight disc set of all the Ghost House Underground titles are available as a boxed set on Amazon for $179.74 and on eBay for $39.99 in brand new condition and with free shipping.
  
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Kaz (232 KP) rated Pet Sematary (2019) in Movies

Jul 31, 2019 (Updated Jul 31, 2019)  
Pet Sematary (2019)
Pet Sematary (2019)
2019 | Horror
It's relatively close to the original text. for the most part. (0 more)
The Ending (0 more)
A film which I can't figure out.
Contains spoilers, click to show
I read the novel 'Pet Semetary' last year and, although there are some questionable elements to the story, I thought that generally, it was a good, creepy read.

Having just watched the 2019 remake, (I must point out that I haven't watched the original film) I'm not sure what to make of it.

For me, the novel 'Pet Semetary' is really dark and creepy. What this film version does, is add to that atmosphere and made it even more sinister, which I really liked.

Another good thing about this adaptation, was that it stayed pretty close to the original text, for the most part. Usually I don't like changes when a book is being made into a film, but actually, thinking about it, some of the changes in 'Pet Semetary' were wise, due to practicalities,

 For example, in the novel, Gage is the one that dies and not Ellie. I would imagine the producers of this film, might have thought that it would either be too extreme to show a 2-3 year old running around with a knife and also it would be difficult to direct a child in this type of scene. So I understand why this was changed.

 I thought that the acting was ok, but nothing special. I think John Lithgow was underused as Judd and actually, I thought his character was much less likable, than Judd in the book. I would give a special mention to the child actor who plays Ellie, as I thought she played her role well.

Now, let's talk about the ending. Whilst I thought the ending of the book was rather questionable, I could understand the thinking behind it. This book's general theme is grief and so Louis' decision to resurrect his wife, illustrates that his grief was so powerful, that he would do almost anything to bring his loved on,e back from the dead.

The ending to the film version though, was very disappointing. For me, Stephen King, not only writes books which satisfy a reader's enjoyment for being scared, but also has other themes and messages running through them too. So, by changing the ending to this film, it kind of took away that sad, powerful message of grief and replaced it with a conventional, 'horror film' ending. This was really disappointing for me, because by putting in that ending, it kind of demeaned everything that the book was trying to do.

This film was ok and had some positive points, but I don't think it does the original book, sufficient justice.
  
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Jimmy Ray Davis (0 KP) created a post

Mar 4, 2018  
My official review of...

HELLRAISER: JUDGMENT (2018)

HJ is not a good movie. It is a flimsy slapped together hodgepodge of crazy almost inane visuals and the notion that Pinhead, the Cenobites and the auditor lounge about in a crumbling house luring folks off the street to analyze and then swallow their souls. What the hell happened to Clive Barker's wild, extreme vision of hell and the broad layering of Pinhead and his cohorts? The movie begins almost laughable as a lumbering creep is lured to the house by, get this, a NOTE slipped under his door. What are we in third grade again? Like a moron, he heeds the written summons and winds up at the house. When he disappears in the door, we hear what sounds like him getting jumped and his ass kicked. I almost laughed out loud for real, is this what Pinhead is reduced to? Paul T. Taylor plays the second replacement Pinhead and while he is better than Stephen Smith Collins he pales compared to the original, Doug Bradley. Pinhead has very little screen time and has just as little to do with the film. Throw in a trio of detectives that could have been lifted from the Saw formula of Arrogant guy, smart chick, timid guy and a storyline that seems so brief and abrupt it makes one wonder why it was even made.

HJ is not a bad movie. Sure it strangles Barker's creation and bastardizes everything we love from the early franchise but man oh man is this a visual feast of bizarro over the top crazy Clive Barker goodness. You have the jury made up of three nearly naked women with skinned faces, the cleaners three more naked women who apply their cleaning skills in a very offputting way, The disgusting assessor who pores childrens tears over paper confessionals and devours them only to puke their contents into a pipe system, The Surgeon, a latex masked monstrosity and a hulking baby-masked butcher who seals the deal. While some of the proceedings repulsed, I could not look away and the balsy output was a welcomed if reckless change. Two noteworthy cameos include the 80's scream queen, Heather Langenkamp in a painfully short scene as a sleazy landlord and Horror director John Guluger as the giggling, gnarly assessor. I also loved the twist at the end which turns the series on its ear and begs for another sequel.

All in all there is little to like if you go into this thinking you are getting a film that does justice to Clive Barker but if you go in as I did without expectations that it would be a homage to Pinhead and some kind of really good commentary on the universe of the characters. Go in low and strap yourself in. So bad it's good? Maybe but either way you will watch in morbid fascination, guaranteed!

2.5 of 5 stars