Search
Search results
A Bibliophagist (113 KP) rated Throne of Glass in Books
Feb 5, 2020 (Updated Feb 5, 2020)
Good start (2 more)
Good finish
Intial character introductions
Formulaic (1 more)
Celeana never does anything she says she can do
Something special ruined by the YA formula
This is another tough one to review, primarily because it started so good for me, then just ended as a whimper.
First of all, this was one of my "force myself out of my norm" picks. I forced myself to pick two popular books, that didn't interest me, and give them a chance. This was the biggest "no interest" pick. The cover alone is just so bad I was embarrassed to be buying it at the bookstore by the art school I work at. What if one of my Illustration students see, will I be deemed unworthy to teach them if I buy a book so ugly and anatomically incorrect? Like seriously, why is her torso so long. Is she just insanely tall? Is she hunched or does she have no neck? It's just... awful.
Also, it's a genre I don't gel well with, fantasy just isn't my jam, I get so mad that SciFi is always lumped in with Fantasy. So, the perfect choice I suppose.
When I first started, I texted my partner and told him "holy crap, I actually am enjoying this". I was shocked, surprised. So far the YA darling of a book wasn't stereotypically YA. The main character was deep and interesting and had a thick backstory. Yea they've already introduced two perfectly perfect love interested for her, but whatever, this is actually interesting.
The book follows the acclaimed assassin, Calaena, young, utterly gorgeous and snarky, deadly. In theory a textbook YA heroine. But she is far from a Mary Sue (in the beginning) her backstory is interesting and rich. She's hardened by a year in prison death labor camp. A camp she is offered freedom from if she accepts the Prince's offer; his father wants a "champion" (aka a dubious person to assassinate and otherwise do his dirty work) and she is the Prince's pick. Should she accept, she'll go against other noble's picks and participate in a competition proving their worth. The winner gets freedom and serves as the champion for X amount of years. Losers go back to whatever prison or hole they crawled out of. So while Celeana doesn't much want to be a lackey to some Princeling or King, she doesn't want to go back to the death labor camp either.
So if you can't tell already, enter love interest #1, the sassy, broody Prince Dorian. Perfect in all ways, except for birthright. Could someone like Celeana ever love him? Dun Dun DUnnnnn. Also enter love interest 2, captain of the guard Chaol, the prince's childhood friend, quiet, introverted, job-focused. Doesn't trust her at all, but could she break him down? What will happen if two best friends fall for the same saucy assassin? DUN DUN DUNNNN
So obviously, she accepts, and is taken to the great glass palace to await the competition, where we have a veritable Beauty and the Beast situation, she's provided lavish accommodation, beautiful dresses, and sadly starts to become a Mary Sue. But not quite yet, first, we get some actually really interesting story, hints at the world we're in, going through a once magical forest, with something in the night leaving flowers at the foot of Celeana's bed, hinting at perhaps her lineage being more magical than we think. We also get introduced to the competition, a lineup of stereotypical gruff dudes, with the bad guy being so obvious he might as well as a spotlight on him (unfortunately this book doesn't really have a twist). Also, enter love interest 3? I utilize the question mark because this one isn't really persued, but feels like it's meant to be something. A handsome, young, way too nice unsavory that she aligns herself with. No one knows who she is, and she goes under a pseudonym while in the palace, hoping to make people underestimate her. The first parts of the competition are interesting, the book is actually conscious of how out of shape she'd be, and takes pains to be detailed (sometimes overly detailed, like the page about her period, I'm in no means ashamed of my period, but the page literally did nothing but further the stereotype that we are completely immobile and need a day off while on it. I wish the author impowered Celeana by having her be in pain, but still be a badass).
As the competition progresses, however, competitors begin dying in gruesome ways, that aren't related to the competition. Concern rises, and whispers of the old magic are everywhere. Celeana now needs to survive this competition, survive whatever is killing her competitors, and solve the mystery happening in the castle. Oh and of course, figure out how to go to that ball and which boy she wants.
Unfortunately, after the first competition-related thing, this book started going downhill for me. Gone was this interest main character, and replaced was a stereotypical Mary Sue that forgets she's an assassin a lot. She rarely does anything Assasin like actually, beyond some internal dialogue in which she thinks about assasin things. It goes from describing the competition to suddenly being like "there were two more trials, Celeana rocked them" skipping ahead a glossing over the competition entirely, choosing instead to focus on the growing tension between her and the two boys, and dangling the very obvious bad guy in front of us as if we're going to be ever so surprised when we find out it's exactly who we thought it was. I want those trials, I want to know what happened and see her thoughts, something to remind me she's an assassin and not a giggling school girl more than ready for court life. Having stereotypical scenes of playing Billiards and Dorian holding her to show her how to do it. Don't even get me started on the Billiards, a fantasy book, using freak in billiards, make up a game for goodness sake, but to utilize a surprisingly modern game in a high fantasy setting made me laugh out loud for the wrong reasons. She gets a puppy, that hates everyone but her, befriends a badass princess (the most interesting thing in this book) and fights off some baddies. Too bad most of the focus was on the rushed, completely chemistry-free relationship between her and Dorian, they see each other like 4 times and are willing to give everything up for each other, it's painful. Honestly, even when I let my mind lapse into YA mode and allow myself to enjoy a fun YA romance, this is not how to do it. Also, Team Chaol all the way.
So the competition takes a considerable step back, and so does my interest. I would argue that the concept in this story is solid and interesting, but executed poorly, which is odd because the beginning proves to be the author can write well, it just feels like she second-guessed herself and decided to stop doing an actually interesting story and instead focus on being stereotypically YA. But there are little gems in here, an interesting world is hinted at, likable and interesting characters are glimpsed in the beginning before she lost interest in developing them. An undercurrent of well thought out mystery and magic. But all of these things took a backseat to fulfil the YA formula instead. I'm going to read the next book just to see if this world becomes more of the focus, but if it doesn't I'll have to stop, this series is just way too long to deal with the same formula over and over.
She almost got me, she was so close, I just wish this book had been consistent and focused on the plot. I wish she had let Celeana be the strong character she implied in the beginning rather than a stereotypical YA girl. I get she was fulfilling the life she never had, but in a situation where she needed to really be HER to get her freedom, it just doesn't feel like the appropriate time for wish fulfillment I wish, if there had to be romance, it had more oomf, made me feel things, made me care. Unfortunately, it didn't have these things, so this book was a bit of a flop for me. So I'm hoping, she'll prove me wrong in the second one, and let the story I see she's made and spent loving time on shine, rather than hide it underneath the guaranteed to sell formula plaguing young adult books.
First of all, this was one of my "force myself out of my norm" picks. I forced myself to pick two popular books, that didn't interest me, and give them a chance. This was the biggest "no interest" pick. The cover alone is just so bad I was embarrassed to be buying it at the bookstore by the art school I work at. What if one of my Illustration students see, will I be deemed unworthy to teach them if I buy a book so ugly and anatomically incorrect? Like seriously, why is her torso so long. Is she just insanely tall? Is she hunched or does she have no neck? It's just... awful.
Also, it's a genre I don't gel well with, fantasy just isn't my jam, I get so mad that SciFi is always lumped in with Fantasy. So, the perfect choice I suppose.
When I first started, I texted my partner and told him "holy crap, I actually am enjoying this". I was shocked, surprised. So far the YA darling of a book wasn't stereotypically YA. The main character was deep and interesting and had a thick backstory. Yea they've already introduced two perfectly perfect love interested for her, but whatever, this is actually interesting.
The book follows the acclaimed assassin, Calaena, young, utterly gorgeous and snarky, deadly. In theory a textbook YA heroine. But she is far from a Mary Sue (in the beginning) her backstory is interesting and rich. She's hardened by a year in prison death labor camp. A camp she is offered freedom from if she accepts the Prince's offer; his father wants a "champion" (aka a dubious person to assassinate and otherwise do his dirty work) and she is the Prince's pick. Should she accept, she'll go against other noble's picks and participate in a competition proving their worth. The winner gets freedom and serves as the champion for X amount of years. Losers go back to whatever prison or hole they crawled out of. So while Celeana doesn't much want to be a lackey to some Princeling or King, she doesn't want to go back to the death labor camp either.
So if you can't tell already, enter love interest #1, the sassy, broody Prince Dorian. Perfect in all ways, except for birthright. Could someone like Celeana ever love him? Dun Dun DUnnnnn. Also enter love interest 2, captain of the guard Chaol, the prince's childhood friend, quiet, introverted, job-focused. Doesn't trust her at all, but could she break him down? What will happen if two best friends fall for the same saucy assassin? DUN DUN DUNNNN
So obviously, she accepts, and is taken to the great glass palace to await the competition, where we have a veritable Beauty and the Beast situation, she's provided lavish accommodation, beautiful dresses, and sadly starts to become a Mary Sue. But not quite yet, first, we get some actually really interesting story, hints at the world we're in, going through a once magical forest, with something in the night leaving flowers at the foot of Celeana's bed, hinting at perhaps her lineage being more magical than we think. We also get introduced to the competition, a lineup of stereotypical gruff dudes, with the bad guy being so obvious he might as well as a spotlight on him (unfortunately this book doesn't really have a twist). Also, enter love interest 3? I utilize the question mark because this one isn't really persued, but feels like it's meant to be something. A handsome, young, way too nice unsavory that she aligns herself with. No one knows who she is, and she goes under a pseudonym while in the palace, hoping to make people underestimate her. The first parts of the competition are interesting, the book is actually conscious of how out of shape she'd be, and takes pains to be detailed (sometimes overly detailed, like the page about her period, I'm in no means ashamed of my period, but the page literally did nothing but further the stereotype that we are completely immobile and need a day off while on it. I wish the author impowered Celeana by having her be in pain, but still be a badass).
As the competition progresses, however, competitors begin dying in gruesome ways, that aren't related to the competition. Concern rises, and whispers of the old magic are everywhere. Celeana now needs to survive this competition, survive whatever is killing her competitors, and solve the mystery happening in the castle. Oh and of course, figure out how to go to that ball and which boy she wants.
Unfortunately, after the first competition-related thing, this book started going downhill for me. Gone was this interest main character, and replaced was a stereotypical Mary Sue that forgets she's an assassin a lot. She rarely does anything Assasin like actually, beyond some internal dialogue in which she thinks about assasin things. It goes from describing the competition to suddenly being like "there were two more trials, Celeana rocked them" skipping ahead a glossing over the competition entirely, choosing instead to focus on the growing tension between her and the two boys, and dangling the very obvious bad guy in front of us as if we're going to be ever so surprised when we find out it's exactly who we thought it was. I want those trials, I want to know what happened and see her thoughts, something to remind me she's an assassin and not a giggling school girl more than ready for court life. Having stereotypical scenes of playing Billiards and Dorian holding her to show her how to do it. Don't even get me started on the Billiards, a fantasy book, using freak in billiards, make up a game for goodness sake, but to utilize a surprisingly modern game in a high fantasy setting made me laugh out loud for the wrong reasons. She gets a puppy, that hates everyone but her, befriends a badass princess (the most interesting thing in this book) and fights off some baddies. Too bad most of the focus was on the rushed, completely chemistry-free relationship between her and Dorian, they see each other like 4 times and are willing to give everything up for each other, it's painful. Honestly, even when I let my mind lapse into YA mode and allow myself to enjoy a fun YA romance, this is not how to do it. Also, Team Chaol all the way.
So the competition takes a considerable step back, and so does my interest. I would argue that the concept in this story is solid and interesting, but executed poorly, which is odd because the beginning proves to be the author can write well, it just feels like she second-guessed herself and decided to stop doing an actually interesting story and instead focus on being stereotypically YA. But there are little gems in here, an interesting world is hinted at, likable and interesting characters are glimpsed in the beginning before she lost interest in developing them. An undercurrent of well thought out mystery and magic. But all of these things took a backseat to fulfil the YA formula instead. I'm going to read the next book just to see if this world becomes more of the focus, but if it doesn't I'll have to stop, this series is just way too long to deal with the same formula over and over.
She almost got me, she was so close, I just wish this book had been consistent and focused on the plot. I wish she had let Celeana be the strong character she implied in the beginning rather than a stereotypical YA girl. I get she was fulfilling the life she never had, but in a situation where she needed to really be HER to get her freedom, it just doesn't feel like the appropriate time for wish fulfillment I wish, if there had to be romance, it had more oomf, made me feel things, made me care. Unfortunately, it didn't have these things, so this book was a bit of a flop for me. So I'm hoping, she'll prove me wrong in the second one, and let the story I see she's made and spent loving time on shine, rather than hide it underneath the guaranteed to sell formula plaguing young adult books.
Hadley (567 KP) rated The Haunting of Hill House in Books
Apr 19, 2019
Strong writing (1 more)
Good characters
Run-on sentences (1 more)
No explanations for paranormal activity
Contains spoilers, click to show
If you're looking for a scary story, 'The Haunting of Hill House' just doesn't add up.
The story is still worth reading because Jackson's story telling is something that is missing in literature today. The reader is introduced to characters that are different enough to be interesting; their development is just right that it leaves the reader satisfied. The story moves along well enough that the pace keeps us from getting bored. And each turn of the page keeps the reader guessing what is going to happen next- a must for any ghost story.
In 'The Haunting of Hill House,' Jackson mostly focuses on the character Eleanor - a woman who recently lost the sickly mother she had taken care of for years, to receiving an invitation for a paranormal experiment at the infamous Hill House. Eleanor also seems to be the main character affected by the house, not only having her name written on a wall, but also having her named called out by spirits during an automatic writing session with them.
Our first introduction to the Hill House happens as Eleanor arrives: "No Human eye can isolate the unhappy coincidence of line and place which suggests evil in the face of a house, and yet somehow a maniac juxtaposition, a badly turned angle, some chance meeting of roof and sky, turned Hill House into a place of despair, more frightening because the face of Hill House seemed awake, with a watchfulness from the blank windows and a touch of glee in the eyebrow of a cornice. Almost any house, caught unexpectedly or at an odd angle, can turn a deeply humorous look on a watching person; even a mischievous little chimney, or a dormer like a dimple, can catch up a beholder with a sense of fellowship; but a house arrogant and hating, never off guard, can only be evil. This house, which seemed somehow to have formed itself, flying together into its own powerful pattern under the hands of its builders, fitting itself into its own construction of lines and angles, reared its great head back against the sky without concession to humanity. It was a house without kindness, never meant to be lived in , not a fit place for people or for love or for hope. Exorcism cannot alter the countenance of a house; Hill House would stay as it was until it was destroyed."
We never see Hill House through any other character's eyes, and the viewpoints mostly come from Eleanor (a missed opportunity,I think). Everyone who arrives at the house feels uneasy about it: doors and curtains close on their own, unexplained banging noises down the hallways(only at night), the chattering and laughter of children, and with an oddly placed cold spot. Yet,to the reader's dismay, nothing is fully explained by the end of the story - no apparitions show up, no one seems harmed by anything unseen (although, the character, Luke, suddenly shows up with a bruised face that is never discussed), and the reader ends up wondering if this really is a product of mass psychosis. It almost seems like Jackson ended the story abruptly just to finish it(the book is only a little under 200 pages). She set up wonderful scenarios, but without explanations, we're left with a very empty feeling.
Nearing the end of the book, the doctor, John Montague, who has ran the entire experiment, has his wife,Mrs. Montague,arrive a few days later, who seems to know more about contacting spirits than he does: "The library? I think it might do; books are frequently very good carriers, you know. Materializations are often best produced in rooms where there are books. I cannot think of any time when materialization was in any way hampered by the presence of books." And with the arrival of Dr. Montague's wife, we get one of the major experiences in the entire book. Although her character is quite annoying- even seen through the eyes of other characters- she brings some of the most ghost story elements, one of which is her automatic writing sessions: "Planchette felt very strongly about a nun, John. Perhaps something of the sort- a dark, vague figure, even- has been seen in the neighborhood? Villagers terrified when staggering home late at night?" None of the characters, besides Mrs. Montague's companion, Arthur, believe her automatic writing sessions are real, even after Eleanor's name is brought up during one. As I stated before, without any explanations, the reader is even led to believe that nothing was meant to come of these sessions whatsoever.
The ghost story elements may not have been strong in the story, but the characters make up for them. They constantly question what they are experiencing and/or seeing, they question their surroundings, and they question each other -Jackson does an amazing job weaving paranoia into the story line.
One of the more shocking and unbelievable scenes is when Eleanor is suddenly not fearful of the house anymore: "And here I am, she thought. Here I am inside. It was not cold at all, but deliciously, fondly warm. It was light enough for her to see the iron stairway curving around and around up to the tower, and the little door at the top. Under her feet the stone floor moved caressingly, rubbing itself against the soles of her feet, and all around the soft air touched her, stirring her hair, drifting against her fingers, coming in a light breath across her mouth, and she danced in circles. No stone lions for me, she thought, no oleanders; I have broken the spell of Hill House and somehow come inside. I am home, she thought, and stopped in wonder at the thought. I am home, I am home, she thought; now to climb." It was as if Eleanor was a completely different person in just a few pages.
I do have a couple of problems with 'The Haunting of Hill House,' mostly centering around the use of run-on sentences and extra long paragraphs. The run-on sentences are a waste of time because Jackson seems to merely elaborate on something that could be easily explained or experienced with fewer words. The paragraphs, however, need to be broken up for scene transitioning purposes -when she transitions from one scene to the next, she can confuse the reader with them: one paragraph will have all the characters in the dining area, but in that same paragraph, just a few sentences down, Jackson has the characters suddenly in the parlor,drinking Brandy. Maybe the intention was to make the reader feel paranoid and uneasy like the characters in the book, but it was certainly not needed with the way of Jackson's style of writing.
With all that said, it's easy to see why this book is a popular classic. The writing is strong, using enough descriptions to put the reader in Hill House with all of its paranormal beings. And no matter who you are, you are able to find at least one of the lead characters as a favorite. I feel the book is a must-read for anyone interested in the paranormal, because Jackson brings out the occult interest that was going on around 1959 - when she published 'The Haunting of Hill House;' everything from cold spots to the use of a planchette for automatic writing.
I recommend this book, but if you're looking for scares, you must look elsewhere.
The story is still worth reading because Jackson's story telling is something that is missing in literature today. The reader is introduced to characters that are different enough to be interesting; their development is just right that it leaves the reader satisfied. The story moves along well enough that the pace keeps us from getting bored. And each turn of the page keeps the reader guessing what is going to happen next- a must for any ghost story.
In 'The Haunting of Hill House,' Jackson mostly focuses on the character Eleanor - a woman who recently lost the sickly mother she had taken care of for years, to receiving an invitation for a paranormal experiment at the infamous Hill House. Eleanor also seems to be the main character affected by the house, not only having her name written on a wall, but also having her named called out by spirits during an automatic writing session with them.
Our first introduction to the Hill House happens as Eleanor arrives: "No Human eye can isolate the unhappy coincidence of line and place which suggests evil in the face of a house, and yet somehow a maniac juxtaposition, a badly turned angle, some chance meeting of roof and sky, turned Hill House into a place of despair, more frightening because the face of Hill House seemed awake, with a watchfulness from the blank windows and a touch of glee in the eyebrow of a cornice. Almost any house, caught unexpectedly or at an odd angle, can turn a deeply humorous look on a watching person; even a mischievous little chimney, or a dormer like a dimple, can catch up a beholder with a sense of fellowship; but a house arrogant and hating, never off guard, can only be evil. This house, which seemed somehow to have formed itself, flying together into its own powerful pattern under the hands of its builders, fitting itself into its own construction of lines and angles, reared its great head back against the sky without concession to humanity. It was a house without kindness, never meant to be lived in , not a fit place for people or for love or for hope. Exorcism cannot alter the countenance of a house; Hill House would stay as it was until it was destroyed."
We never see Hill House through any other character's eyes, and the viewpoints mostly come from Eleanor (a missed opportunity,I think). Everyone who arrives at the house feels uneasy about it: doors and curtains close on their own, unexplained banging noises down the hallways(only at night), the chattering and laughter of children, and with an oddly placed cold spot. Yet,to the reader's dismay, nothing is fully explained by the end of the story - no apparitions show up, no one seems harmed by anything unseen (although, the character, Luke, suddenly shows up with a bruised face that is never discussed), and the reader ends up wondering if this really is a product of mass psychosis. It almost seems like Jackson ended the story abruptly just to finish it(the book is only a little under 200 pages). She set up wonderful scenarios, but without explanations, we're left with a very empty feeling.
Nearing the end of the book, the doctor, John Montague, who has ran the entire experiment, has his wife,Mrs. Montague,arrive a few days later, who seems to know more about contacting spirits than he does: "The library? I think it might do; books are frequently very good carriers, you know. Materializations are often best produced in rooms where there are books. I cannot think of any time when materialization was in any way hampered by the presence of books." And with the arrival of Dr. Montague's wife, we get one of the major experiences in the entire book. Although her character is quite annoying- even seen through the eyes of other characters- she brings some of the most ghost story elements, one of which is her automatic writing sessions: "Planchette felt very strongly about a nun, John. Perhaps something of the sort- a dark, vague figure, even- has been seen in the neighborhood? Villagers terrified when staggering home late at night?" None of the characters, besides Mrs. Montague's companion, Arthur, believe her automatic writing sessions are real, even after Eleanor's name is brought up during one. As I stated before, without any explanations, the reader is even led to believe that nothing was meant to come of these sessions whatsoever.
The ghost story elements may not have been strong in the story, but the characters make up for them. They constantly question what they are experiencing and/or seeing, they question their surroundings, and they question each other -Jackson does an amazing job weaving paranoia into the story line.
One of the more shocking and unbelievable scenes is when Eleanor is suddenly not fearful of the house anymore: "And here I am, she thought. Here I am inside. It was not cold at all, but deliciously, fondly warm. It was light enough for her to see the iron stairway curving around and around up to the tower, and the little door at the top. Under her feet the stone floor moved caressingly, rubbing itself against the soles of her feet, and all around the soft air touched her, stirring her hair, drifting against her fingers, coming in a light breath across her mouth, and she danced in circles. No stone lions for me, she thought, no oleanders; I have broken the spell of Hill House and somehow come inside. I am home, she thought, and stopped in wonder at the thought. I am home, I am home, she thought; now to climb." It was as if Eleanor was a completely different person in just a few pages.
I do have a couple of problems with 'The Haunting of Hill House,' mostly centering around the use of run-on sentences and extra long paragraphs. The run-on sentences are a waste of time because Jackson seems to merely elaborate on something that could be easily explained or experienced with fewer words. The paragraphs, however, need to be broken up for scene transitioning purposes -when she transitions from one scene to the next, she can confuse the reader with them: one paragraph will have all the characters in the dining area, but in that same paragraph, just a few sentences down, Jackson has the characters suddenly in the parlor,drinking Brandy. Maybe the intention was to make the reader feel paranoid and uneasy like the characters in the book, but it was certainly not needed with the way of Jackson's style of writing.
With all that said, it's easy to see why this book is a popular classic. The writing is strong, using enough descriptions to put the reader in Hill House with all of its paranormal beings. And no matter who you are, you are able to find at least one of the lead characters as a favorite. I feel the book is a must-read for anyone interested in the paranormal, because Jackson brings out the occult interest that was going on around 1959 - when she published 'The Haunting of Hill House;' everything from cold spots to the use of a planchette for automatic writing.
I recommend this book, but if you're looking for scares, you must look elsewhere.
KittyMiku (138 KP) rated Sold to the Werewolf Prince in Books
May 23, 2019
Contains spoilers, click to show
This book is very short and has a good thought behind it. Since the world Hannah is now trying to integrate into is all about being kind and polite at all costs, its easy to see why she would have troubles with some of it. If offending someone meant execution, any human would have a problem living there without issue. I think that is the biggest idea I found to be enjoyable in the book. I love the idea of aliens and space travel, but the view point on having to keep your tongue tied to always be able to be kind to someone is what pique my interest. However, its not just your voice and words, its in your actions too. That whole world made sure everyone at all times are kept in a pleasured and blissful state.
At first, I was intrigued on the aliens and the life on their planet, but I found my interest leading me more towards how Hannah explained how Humans act to one another and how its hard to come by people who are naturally kind and respectful. Though the idea of being executed for saying anything in any way that could offend someone is kind of hard to get behind, I also feel like its something we should all strive for anyways. I can see the disadvantages of always being kind and polite as well though. In the book, Hannah had made it clear she was never sure what would offend someone and get her possibly killed and so she kept a lot of questions and thoughts to herself. I can completely understand that. To a degree though, I think keeping unkind things or questions that could be offense to yourself to be a great idea. However, when it comes to asking things about someone's religion or culture, I would think that wouldn't create a lot of offense. After all, we are all curious about something we don't understand or don't know. It did bring up a lot of things that we allow our children to say and do that isn't kind and allows others to feel unworthy or disrespected. For example name calling. In the story Hannah had tried to explain there are ways to say something to make in endearing. She used the term "bookworm". She went on to explain that in school people called her a bookworm to be mean and hurtful, it was an insult, but at home her mother used the term endearingly because Hannah always had her nose in a book. And if we are honest with ourselves, we know this is often a true case. Kids at school can be mean and hurtful if you don't fit in, but sometimes the insults they deal can also be ones of endearment from those we love. An example of this is the label gamer. In schools being a gamer meant you didn't have a ton of friends and often were picked on because you preferred to be at home playing your games than going to parties. However, if your wife is playfully teasing you by calling you a gamer, or uses it as an endearing term, it is not hurtful at all. Isn't it funny how something so silly as a single word used to describe you can have duel purposes; Hurtful and endearing?
I think Hannah's explanation of that was pretty dead on, but that wasn't all she brought up that reminded me of how awful humans can be. She has brought up how possessive humans can be to materials, enough to kill or have a hand in killing someone else for it. This is something we actually see everyday, if we allow ourselves too. People kill other people for money and material objects. People kill animals, and we aren't talking about for food purposes, because they want to or because it will allow them to make money for certain pieces of the animal. They aren't just hurtful, they are lethal to others and their environment. I found myself cringing at how real her words were. I know these things are going on in the world, we all do, but to have it spoken out loud so bluntly makes you wish it would just stop. In the book, Hannah had stated the American Government had stated that aliens had visited and they covered it up. And Prince Tamkin had stated because of human hostile nature, they didn't see why they should bother with the humans. He said most aliens didn't see the humans worth the hassle. That brings me to question if it is possible that this is also true.
Think about it. Let's say this particular book is correct in the fact aliens exist and they gave up trying to communicate with us because of our hostile natures. Always putting ourselves first and anyone, anything else last. It would make sense in a way, don't you think? I know this is a Sci-fi romance book, but at the same time, it does make a lot of sense. Hannah had said we were egotistical and self centered, thinking we had the best technology in the universe and that we can take anything we want and its true. As a race, humans are horrible creatures. That's not to say there aren't good ones out there. Even Hannah had explained that there were groups of people who fought for the Earth and others. Just as there are people in the real world who do that same. So if Wright can have a lot of truth in the book, who is not to say she was able to come up with a reason on why aliens stay away from Earth? Even though the space travel seems still to far for us to know if that was that is a real thing or not, it is still something worth thinking about.
I do have one major compliant about the book. The intercourse scenes. There were a total of three heavily detailed scenes that I don't completely understand. Do not get my wrong, the first scene was to make it so you understood that pleasing the woman in the bedroom was extremely important and it completely proved this case. However, I do not feels that so much needed to be in the book. The story could have used more details on the alien planet and the major city they resided in. I would have loved to know more about it. I would have loved to actually have seen the different communities and wild life. I was disappointed there wasn't more but instead I got steamy intercourse scenes that would make adult movie stars blush.
I would rate this book 3 stars out of 5 stars. It had brought up a lot of topics to discuss and ponder on and definitely left me wanting more, but the intercourse scenes were over the top and just too much for me. I would have been find with just the first one and maybe shorter scenes for the others. To me it just took away from the story in a way I didn't like.
At first, I was intrigued on the aliens and the life on their planet, but I found my interest leading me more towards how Hannah explained how Humans act to one another and how its hard to come by people who are naturally kind and respectful. Though the idea of being executed for saying anything in any way that could offend someone is kind of hard to get behind, I also feel like its something we should all strive for anyways. I can see the disadvantages of always being kind and polite as well though. In the book, Hannah had made it clear she was never sure what would offend someone and get her possibly killed and so she kept a lot of questions and thoughts to herself. I can completely understand that. To a degree though, I think keeping unkind things or questions that could be offense to yourself to be a great idea. However, when it comes to asking things about someone's religion or culture, I would think that wouldn't create a lot of offense. After all, we are all curious about something we don't understand or don't know. It did bring up a lot of things that we allow our children to say and do that isn't kind and allows others to feel unworthy or disrespected. For example name calling. In the story Hannah had tried to explain there are ways to say something to make in endearing. She used the term "bookworm". She went on to explain that in school people called her a bookworm to be mean and hurtful, it was an insult, but at home her mother used the term endearingly because Hannah always had her nose in a book. And if we are honest with ourselves, we know this is often a true case. Kids at school can be mean and hurtful if you don't fit in, but sometimes the insults they deal can also be ones of endearment from those we love. An example of this is the label gamer. In schools being a gamer meant you didn't have a ton of friends and often were picked on because you preferred to be at home playing your games than going to parties. However, if your wife is playfully teasing you by calling you a gamer, or uses it as an endearing term, it is not hurtful at all. Isn't it funny how something so silly as a single word used to describe you can have duel purposes; Hurtful and endearing?
I think Hannah's explanation of that was pretty dead on, but that wasn't all she brought up that reminded me of how awful humans can be. She has brought up how possessive humans can be to materials, enough to kill or have a hand in killing someone else for it. This is something we actually see everyday, if we allow ourselves too. People kill other people for money and material objects. People kill animals, and we aren't talking about for food purposes, because they want to or because it will allow them to make money for certain pieces of the animal. They aren't just hurtful, they are lethal to others and their environment. I found myself cringing at how real her words were. I know these things are going on in the world, we all do, but to have it spoken out loud so bluntly makes you wish it would just stop. In the book, Hannah had stated the American Government had stated that aliens had visited and they covered it up. And Prince Tamkin had stated because of human hostile nature, they didn't see why they should bother with the humans. He said most aliens didn't see the humans worth the hassle. That brings me to question if it is possible that this is also true.
Think about it. Let's say this particular book is correct in the fact aliens exist and they gave up trying to communicate with us because of our hostile natures. Always putting ourselves first and anyone, anything else last. It would make sense in a way, don't you think? I know this is a Sci-fi romance book, but at the same time, it does make a lot of sense. Hannah had said we were egotistical and self centered, thinking we had the best technology in the universe and that we can take anything we want and its true. As a race, humans are horrible creatures. That's not to say there aren't good ones out there. Even Hannah had explained that there were groups of people who fought for the Earth and others. Just as there are people in the real world who do that same. So if Wright can have a lot of truth in the book, who is not to say she was able to come up with a reason on why aliens stay away from Earth? Even though the space travel seems still to far for us to know if that was that is a real thing or not, it is still something worth thinking about.
I do have one major compliant about the book. The intercourse scenes. There were a total of three heavily detailed scenes that I don't completely understand. Do not get my wrong, the first scene was to make it so you understood that pleasing the woman in the bedroom was extremely important and it completely proved this case. However, I do not feels that so much needed to be in the book. The story could have used more details on the alien planet and the major city they resided in. I would have loved to know more about it. I would have loved to actually have seen the different communities and wild life. I was disappointed there wasn't more but instead I got steamy intercourse scenes that would make adult movie stars blush.
I would rate this book 3 stars out of 5 stars. It had brought up a lot of topics to discuss and ponder on and definitely left me wanting more, but the intercourse scenes were over the top and just too much for me. I would have been find with just the first one and maybe shorter scenes for the others. To me it just took away from the story in a way I didn't like.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Villages of Valeria in Tabletop Games
Jun 12, 2019
Oh, Valeria. How I do love thee! I have reviewed Valeria: Card Kingdoms (VCK) in the past and if you read that review you learned that it is my favorite game of all time (as of the date of this composition). I actually Kickstarted Villages of Valeria (VoV) before even playing VCK so this game was my introduction into the Valeriaverse. I feel obligated to publicly thank VoV for bringing me into one of my favorite gaming universes. But, how good IS this one?
In VoV you are a Duke/Duchess being charged by the King to found a new Capital City to replace the previous one that has been ravaged by the wars played out in VCK. The King has assigned you a castle to use as your HQ and expects the most enterprising Duke/Duchess to win the day by building the most flourishing village. Will you be able to create the resources necessary to build the most attractive buildings that adventurers will want to frequent? Or will you spend your time taxing your constituents to death?
DISCLAIMER: This review focuses on vanilla Villages of Valeria. We have all the released expansions and may do a review of them in the future. If we do, we will edit this review or link to the new review here. -T
VoV uses a handful of really great game mechanics that will be familiar to some gamers, but not intimidating enough to scare off new gamers, that really work well together to create an excellent gaming experience. I will address most of them here, but please do not use this review as a replacement for the rulebook, as I will not be addressing every single rule.
VoV is played over several rounds where every player will be taking a turn as the active player until someone has built the requisite number of buildings prescribed in the rulebook to trigger the end of the game. Each player starts with a castle card that provides a wild resource of your choice when you need to pay resources to build buildings on future turns. You are also given gold and a starting hand of cards in accordance with setup rules. Setup the decks of cards and create the offer rows for each and you are ready to play!
When you are the active player you will take an action from a list of five available actions: Harvest, Develop, Build, Recruit, and Tax. If you choose to Harvest on your turn you will draw three cards from either the face-up green building cards on the offer or blindly from the deck of green building cards. To Develop you will play a building card from your hand to the back of your castle, tucked underneath and upside down, to be used as the resources printed at the bottom of the card (wood, magic, stone, food). These resources are now available to be used for the build action (think of the brown and gray cards in 7 Wonders, if you’re familiar). When you take the Build action, you will be playing a building card from your hand to be built in the tableau in front of you. Since number of buildings is the end game trigger condition, you will be trying to build buildings as much as possible. All building cards have a cost printed on the left side of the card, and those costs will need to be paid for by using the gold you possess. You can use one gold on your own castle card as it provides a wild resource to you, and you can use one gold per card you have Developed previously for their resource benefit. You may even spend your gold to use an opponent’s resources (not their castle! – also akin to 7 Wonders neighbor resource purchasing). The catch here is that you lose that gold piece to your opponent, but they will not be able to use that resource until the beginning of their turn as active player. Most buildings will have benefits printed on them that either take effect immediately or when triggered by another action. When you Recruit an Adventurer, you are using your village’s buildings to attract them to your cause. Each Adventurer’s cost to recruit is printed on the side of the card, and these costs are paid by having the matching symbols on building cards in your village. Once recruited, these Adventurers can also enact conditional abilities similar to building cards, but usually will be advantages to final VP scores. By taking the Tax action you will take one gold from the bank and draw a building card from the offer or the deck.
Now this all seems pretty easy and I have only really mentioned one form of tension by blocking opponents’ use of their own resources if you spend a gold to use it on your turn. Since you reclaim all gold on your castle and resource cards in your village at the beginning of your turn this should cause no problems, right? Well, VoV also uses the follow mechanic that has been employed by other games previously. When you are the active player you choose which action you want to take on your turn, complete that action, and then the same action is offered to your opponents for them to take at a disadvantage. Example: I choose Tax as my action, so I take my gold and my card and my turn is over. Then, going around the table, each player can decide to follow my action but are only able to take a building card as a follow action. No gold. Each action has a Lead and Follow benefit, so you are always paying attention during the game, even on others’ turns because you might still benefit from the chosen actions.
Play continues like this with active player Lead actions and possible others’ Follow actions until someone triggers the end game condition. Then everyone completes the turn and VPs from all cards in your tableau are added (including gold pieces you collected). Most VPs wins the game of Villages of Valeria!
Components. Okay, I have to admit that I have the Kickstarter Deluxe version of this game so I am only speaking from experience with that version. The cards are of really good quality. The gold tokens and active player castle token are great, but the action tracker we found a bit cumbersome to use so we just, like, didn’t. The building tracker and castleeples are great as well. The art is by The Mico, and I just love his art style, so that’s a big positive for me. Overall, the components are really really nice.
So why do I love this game? Well, it’s really a mashup of mechanics that work well for me. I love the Lead/Follow mechanic. I love 7 Wonders, so borrowing some of those mechanics and nuances is a great fit for me. I absolutely LOVE The Mico’s artwork on every Valeria game. No two games of VoV will be alike because the amount of cards that come inside the box (and growing with every expansion) gives such a diverse gaming experience that I love playing. If you like any of the Valeria games and you have yet to try Villages of Valeria you MUST find a copy. You will be drawn in by the familiar feel of Valeria and mechanics from classic games that will surely delight. We at Purple Phoenix Games give this gem a bustling 20 / 24. Long live Valeria!
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/villages-of-valeria-review/
In VoV you are a Duke/Duchess being charged by the King to found a new Capital City to replace the previous one that has been ravaged by the wars played out in VCK. The King has assigned you a castle to use as your HQ and expects the most enterprising Duke/Duchess to win the day by building the most flourishing village. Will you be able to create the resources necessary to build the most attractive buildings that adventurers will want to frequent? Or will you spend your time taxing your constituents to death?
DISCLAIMER: This review focuses on vanilla Villages of Valeria. We have all the released expansions and may do a review of them in the future. If we do, we will edit this review or link to the new review here. -T
VoV uses a handful of really great game mechanics that will be familiar to some gamers, but not intimidating enough to scare off new gamers, that really work well together to create an excellent gaming experience. I will address most of them here, but please do not use this review as a replacement for the rulebook, as I will not be addressing every single rule.
VoV is played over several rounds where every player will be taking a turn as the active player until someone has built the requisite number of buildings prescribed in the rulebook to trigger the end of the game. Each player starts with a castle card that provides a wild resource of your choice when you need to pay resources to build buildings on future turns. You are also given gold and a starting hand of cards in accordance with setup rules. Setup the decks of cards and create the offer rows for each and you are ready to play!
When you are the active player you will take an action from a list of five available actions: Harvest, Develop, Build, Recruit, and Tax. If you choose to Harvest on your turn you will draw three cards from either the face-up green building cards on the offer or blindly from the deck of green building cards. To Develop you will play a building card from your hand to the back of your castle, tucked underneath and upside down, to be used as the resources printed at the bottom of the card (wood, magic, stone, food). These resources are now available to be used for the build action (think of the brown and gray cards in 7 Wonders, if you’re familiar). When you take the Build action, you will be playing a building card from your hand to be built in the tableau in front of you. Since number of buildings is the end game trigger condition, you will be trying to build buildings as much as possible. All building cards have a cost printed on the left side of the card, and those costs will need to be paid for by using the gold you possess. You can use one gold on your own castle card as it provides a wild resource to you, and you can use one gold per card you have Developed previously for their resource benefit. You may even spend your gold to use an opponent’s resources (not their castle! – also akin to 7 Wonders neighbor resource purchasing). The catch here is that you lose that gold piece to your opponent, but they will not be able to use that resource until the beginning of their turn as active player. Most buildings will have benefits printed on them that either take effect immediately or when triggered by another action. When you Recruit an Adventurer, you are using your village’s buildings to attract them to your cause. Each Adventurer’s cost to recruit is printed on the side of the card, and these costs are paid by having the matching symbols on building cards in your village. Once recruited, these Adventurers can also enact conditional abilities similar to building cards, but usually will be advantages to final VP scores. By taking the Tax action you will take one gold from the bank and draw a building card from the offer or the deck.
Now this all seems pretty easy and I have only really mentioned one form of tension by blocking opponents’ use of their own resources if you spend a gold to use it on your turn. Since you reclaim all gold on your castle and resource cards in your village at the beginning of your turn this should cause no problems, right? Well, VoV also uses the follow mechanic that has been employed by other games previously. When you are the active player you choose which action you want to take on your turn, complete that action, and then the same action is offered to your opponents for them to take at a disadvantage. Example: I choose Tax as my action, so I take my gold and my card and my turn is over. Then, going around the table, each player can decide to follow my action but are only able to take a building card as a follow action. No gold. Each action has a Lead and Follow benefit, so you are always paying attention during the game, even on others’ turns because you might still benefit from the chosen actions.
Play continues like this with active player Lead actions and possible others’ Follow actions until someone triggers the end game condition. Then everyone completes the turn and VPs from all cards in your tableau are added (including gold pieces you collected). Most VPs wins the game of Villages of Valeria!
Components. Okay, I have to admit that I have the Kickstarter Deluxe version of this game so I am only speaking from experience with that version. The cards are of really good quality. The gold tokens and active player castle token are great, but the action tracker we found a bit cumbersome to use so we just, like, didn’t. The building tracker and castleeples are great as well. The art is by The Mico, and I just love his art style, so that’s a big positive for me. Overall, the components are really really nice.
So why do I love this game? Well, it’s really a mashup of mechanics that work well for me. I love the Lead/Follow mechanic. I love 7 Wonders, so borrowing some of those mechanics and nuances is a great fit for me. I absolutely LOVE The Mico’s artwork on every Valeria game. No two games of VoV will be alike because the amount of cards that come inside the box (and growing with every expansion) gives such a diverse gaming experience that I love playing. If you like any of the Valeria games and you have yet to try Villages of Valeria you MUST find a copy. You will be drawn in by the familiar feel of Valeria and mechanics from classic games that will surely delight. We at Purple Phoenix Games give this gem a bustling 20 / 24. Long live Valeria!
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/04/05/villages-of-valeria-review/
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Gizmos in Tabletop Games
Apr 20, 2021
I have absolutely never been very good at science. At least not in school. So when I started reading the rule for Gizmos and found out it was set at a science fair I thought I was doomed. Well, turns out you don’t really need to know anything about science to enjoy this one or be decent at playing. So if you are like me and don’t remember anything besides the Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, then read on about a great game called Gizmos.
Gizmos is a card drafting, energy collecting, engine building game about, well, building engines. Players will be attempting to draft machine parts from an offer pyramid and build them onto their master jalopy machine using energy marbles in order to chain actions together and maximize their turns. The victorious player is they that claims the most VP from cards and bonus VP tokens at the end of the game.
To setup, assemble the energy dispenser (the marble gumball machine looking component) and place it on the table. Fill it with all the marbles and marvel at the first six that come out into a chute display. Separate and shuffle the card decks by their backs and set out four cards of level I, three cards of level II and two cards of level III. Determine starting player and give them the starting tableau board. Each player will receive a tableau board, an energy ring, and a starting gizmo to be placed under the File section of their board. The game may now begin!
On a player’s turn they will be completing one action from the four actions printed on their player board: File, Pick, Build, and Research. The File action is used when a player chooses a card from the gizmo pyramid (from any level) and places it in their Archive – an imaginary area to the right (or even above I’ve found) their player board. At the beginning of the game players will be able to hold just one gizmo in their Archive, but as they draft and build Upgrades, this number can increase. When choosing the Pick action, the player will simply choose one of the energy marbles from the dispenser chute and place them in their energy ring. Initially rings are only able to hold five marbles, but this also can be increased on future builds. To Build a gizmo into a player’s machine, the player will spend a specific color and number of energy marbles printed on the chosen gizmo card to place the card into their player tableau. These gizmos could possibly be Upgrades, energy Converters, or upgrades to the File, Pick, and Build actions. Pay the energy marble to the dispenser supply. Players will choose to Research when they do not like the gizmos on display in the gizmo pyramid. Researching allows players to draw the top cards from any face-down level deck and choose one to either File or Build.
The game is super simple to this point, but this is where the true strategy and tactics come into play. Though there will always be nine gizmos on display during a player’s turn, the value of these gizmos are in how they are used in the player tableau. Yes each gizmo allows for some benefit, but successful players will be able to utilize these benefits to create chain reactions. When an action is spent to do a thing, gizmos in play in the tableau will sometimes link to the action, or to the placement of a certain type of card, or a certain energy type (color) of gizmo built. It is mastering these chain reactions that creates next-level strategizing and separates the players from the champions. Play continues on in this fashion until a player has built their fourth level III gizmo or their 16th gizmo in total. Count up VP from built gizmos and bonus tokens earned from built gizmos throughout the game to see who wins the science fair (is that what happens at science fairs? People win those, right?)!
Components. So the gizmo cards are fine, and the cardboard components are fine as well. The marbles are interesting and bubbled plastic (or resin, I told you I’m not great at science) and come in great colors. The true star component here is that energy marble dispenser. It is absolutely brilliant. The game comes with assembly instructions, thankfully, but once it’s built, it’s built forever. It packs neatly back into the box, and the insert is very very well done. The artwork on this is surprisingly secondary to me. In fact, I don’t really remember even looking at much of the artwork on the gizmo cards as I was playing because I concentrate so much more on the effects of the gizmos and trying to figure out my next move to really sit and gawk at the art. The iconography takes a little time to get used to, but once you have seen it in action for a few rounds, you catch on quickly. All in all, a fine set of components, but with the insert and dispenser, now a great set of components.
I adore this game! I love engine builders, and the chain reactions you can create with your gizmos are excellent and can be very powerful. You can try to generate tons of bonus VP from your gizmos, or concentrate on versatile energy marbles using a bunch of Converters, or simply go guns blazing on everything you can afford to try to blitz to 16 gizmos built. Whatever your play style, Gizmos can certainly allow you to play your way while giving you choices upon choices to make each turn.
With all these positives, I had to find a negative, right? Well, ok, yes, but it’s super minor to me here. I don’t really feel like the theme is very immersive. Not once have I felt like I am building a machine in order to win a science fair, but I do feel like I need to maximize my turn every time in order to grab more energy, or to build better Upgrades and Converters so I can grab any gizmo I want and build it right away. So, theme is there, but not at all strong.
Though the theme is just okay, the game play certainly is stellar. This one has everything I like in an engine building game, and has unique and interesting components. Would I like it more if the theme was different. I doubt it. The game play is just so good that the theme and artwork takes a back seat for me, and that’s super weird for me to type. Should you be looking for a great engine building game that looks awesome on the table, has cool components, and allows you to play differently every game, then go find yourself a copy of Gizmos. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an energetic 21 / 24. Now if only my 4-year-old could keep the energy marbles in the chute or the ring and not on the floor…
Gizmos is a card drafting, energy collecting, engine building game about, well, building engines. Players will be attempting to draft machine parts from an offer pyramid and build them onto their master jalopy machine using energy marbles in order to chain actions together and maximize their turns. The victorious player is they that claims the most VP from cards and bonus VP tokens at the end of the game.
To setup, assemble the energy dispenser (the marble gumball machine looking component) and place it on the table. Fill it with all the marbles and marvel at the first six that come out into a chute display. Separate and shuffle the card decks by their backs and set out four cards of level I, three cards of level II and two cards of level III. Determine starting player and give them the starting tableau board. Each player will receive a tableau board, an energy ring, and a starting gizmo to be placed under the File section of their board. The game may now begin!
On a player’s turn they will be completing one action from the four actions printed on their player board: File, Pick, Build, and Research. The File action is used when a player chooses a card from the gizmo pyramid (from any level) and places it in their Archive – an imaginary area to the right (or even above I’ve found) their player board. At the beginning of the game players will be able to hold just one gizmo in their Archive, but as they draft and build Upgrades, this number can increase. When choosing the Pick action, the player will simply choose one of the energy marbles from the dispenser chute and place them in their energy ring. Initially rings are only able to hold five marbles, but this also can be increased on future builds. To Build a gizmo into a player’s machine, the player will spend a specific color and number of energy marbles printed on the chosen gizmo card to place the card into their player tableau. These gizmos could possibly be Upgrades, energy Converters, or upgrades to the File, Pick, and Build actions. Pay the energy marble to the dispenser supply. Players will choose to Research when they do not like the gizmos on display in the gizmo pyramid. Researching allows players to draw the top cards from any face-down level deck and choose one to either File or Build.
The game is super simple to this point, but this is where the true strategy and tactics come into play. Though there will always be nine gizmos on display during a player’s turn, the value of these gizmos are in how they are used in the player tableau. Yes each gizmo allows for some benefit, but successful players will be able to utilize these benefits to create chain reactions. When an action is spent to do a thing, gizmos in play in the tableau will sometimes link to the action, or to the placement of a certain type of card, or a certain energy type (color) of gizmo built. It is mastering these chain reactions that creates next-level strategizing and separates the players from the champions. Play continues on in this fashion until a player has built their fourth level III gizmo or their 16th gizmo in total. Count up VP from built gizmos and bonus tokens earned from built gizmos throughout the game to see who wins the science fair (is that what happens at science fairs? People win those, right?)!
Components. So the gizmo cards are fine, and the cardboard components are fine as well. The marbles are interesting and bubbled plastic (or resin, I told you I’m not great at science) and come in great colors. The true star component here is that energy marble dispenser. It is absolutely brilliant. The game comes with assembly instructions, thankfully, but once it’s built, it’s built forever. It packs neatly back into the box, and the insert is very very well done. The artwork on this is surprisingly secondary to me. In fact, I don’t really remember even looking at much of the artwork on the gizmo cards as I was playing because I concentrate so much more on the effects of the gizmos and trying to figure out my next move to really sit and gawk at the art. The iconography takes a little time to get used to, but once you have seen it in action for a few rounds, you catch on quickly. All in all, a fine set of components, but with the insert and dispenser, now a great set of components.
I adore this game! I love engine builders, and the chain reactions you can create with your gizmos are excellent and can be very powerful. You can try to generate tons of bonus VP from your gizmos, or concentrate on versatile energy marbles using a bunch of Converters, or simply go guns blazing on everything you can afford to try to blitz to 16 gizmos built. Whatever your play style, Gizmos can certainly allow you to play your way while giving you choices upon choices to make each turn.
With all these positives, I had to find a negative, right? Well, ok, yes, but it’s super minor to me here. I don’t really feel like the theme is very immersive. Not once have I felt like I am building a machine in order to win a science fair, but I do feel like I need to maximize my turn every time in order to grab more energy, or to build better Upgrades and Converters so I can grab any gizmo I want and build it right away. So, theme is there, but not at all strong.
Though the theme is just okay, the game play certainly is stellar. This one has everything I like in an engine building game, and has unique and interesting components. Would I like it more if the theme was different. I doubt it. The game play is just so good that the theme and artwork takes a back seat for me, and that’s super weird for me to type. Should you be looking for a great engine building game that looks awesome on the table, has cool components, and allows you to play differently every game, then go find yourself a copy of Gizmos. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an energetic 21 / 24. Now if only my 4-year-old could keep the energy marbles in the chute or the ring and not on the floor…
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Funkoverse Strategy Game: Harry Potter 100 in Tabletop Games
Aug 30, 2021
Because I haven’t given my readers enough insight into my nerdiness, here are a few more things I’m into: Harry Potter, the MCU, and Doctor Who. I also have several Funko Pops! characters somewhere here in this house: the Tenth Doctor, the Twelfth Doctor, Captain America, Ms. Marvel, Ant-Man, and Dr. Strange to name a few. So when I heard that a game was coming out where I could possibly use my Funkos for something other than sitting on my armoire, I got excited. Oh, also it’s Harry Potter themed? COUNT ME IN!
Funkoverse Strategy Game: Harry Potter (which I will now refer to as HP Funko) is a tactics-based strategy game where effectively using Action Points is the determining factor in victory. Each player will take charge of a 2- or 3-character team engaged in one of four included scenarios to gain VP (the awesome teal shards). This is done in different fashions, and for this review we used the “Territories” scenario.
DISCLAIMER: The Tenth Doctor and Dr. Strange are not included in the game, I supplied them. In the box are discs to represent a generic Auror (Ten) and Death Eater (Strange). If you choose to use a supplementary Funko Pop! please know that they may be much larger in size and difficult to maneuver on the board. Also, I will not be detailing every rule in the rulebook as there are just too many. For full rules, download the rulebook today or pick up a copy at your FLGS! -T
To setup follow the instructions in the rulebook and the chosen scenario. For Territories, it will look similar to the setup below, but the characters may not be facing a camera, as mine are. Once the players are satisfied with setup, the first player token is flipped coin-toss style to see which team will lead the first round. The game is now underway!
Turns are somewhat simple: each character can do two actions, which include: Move, Challenge, Interact, Assist, Rally, and Use Ability/Items. Movement is two squares, with diagonals allowed, but not through any part of an obstruction. In fact, obstructions and line-of-sight are big parts of the game, as several pages of the rulebook are devoted to them. To Challenge another character is the combat of the game. The attacker will typically throw two dice to initiate an attack and the defender will use as many dice as is printed on their character card. However, this is a Harry Potter game, so Challenges will also allow characters to use magic spells to augment their attacks or inflict other debilitations or statuses on their targets. Simple majority of successful results rolled wins the Challenge. Characters may be knocked down as a result of a Challenge, and if already knocked down and successfully attacked again, may also be knocked out of the game for a certain number of rounds (usually one).
To Interact with a token on the board a character will need to position themselves either directly on the token or one space adjacent. These tokens could be merely points on the board that earn points, as in the current scenario.
If adjacent to a downed ally, a player could use an Assist action to stand up the ally. However, a character may stand themselves up on their turn by using both actions to Rally. This is the character’s entire turn worth of actions, but may be necessary to avoid being knocked out and placed on the Cooldown Track.
Lastly, characters may need to spend actions to use an ability or an item in their possession. Each ability and item will have its own instructions written on their respective cards. These will be instantly recognizable to fans of the HP universe and will use Ability Tokens or require the user to place the Item Card on the Cooldown Track to be used on a future turn.
After alternating characters on each team has exhausted every character, the round ends. Players will refresh their characters and move all tokens or cards down a space on the Cooldown Track. Should end of turn activities score teams VPs, they will claim the shards for their collection. Once the scenario’s objective has been met a player will be crowned victor and forced to cast Riddikulus on their opponent(s).
Components. This game does not ship with a ton of components, but the bits and pieces contained in the box are wonderful. The cardboard map and pieces are nice, the cards are good quality, and all the tokens are great as well. I really enjoy the VP shards and of course the smaller Pops! that are the main characters. They are a bit smaller than all the Pops! I have, but I’m not really a huge Pops! collector, so that may be the norm nowadays. The art throughout is really well-done and evocative of the theme. Overall the components are brilliant.
I am no fan of Mage Wars style games, as I typically find those types of tactical games tiresome. I usually end up just moving around and casting a spell every once in a while, but then it’s just a tedious game of cat and mouse that I just don’t feel like ever playing. However, with the scenarios provided with HP Funko I feel like I have a mission other than knocking out my opponents. Yes, I could still do that during a scenario, but that’s not the main focus. I like that quite a bit. In fact, there are generic tokens in the game that would even allow players to create their own scenarios. I might be interested in creating my own to play with a younger crowd even.
Moving those big heads around is fun and makes me giggle a bit, especially when they knock into each other and fall down because of the elephantitis of the noggin. I also like being able to send in my Tenth Doctor to use his Sonic Screwdriver to take out he-who-must-not-be-named whilst Dr. Strange looks on in amusement. Being able to use your own Pops! is a great twist and I am definitely a fan.
I guess I DO like tactical move-around-the-board-and-do-stuff games after all! I just needed a little direction and a good theme to pull me into the genre. I also have the expandalone for the HP version of this that includes Malfoy and Ron, and can’t wait to add those in as well. And let me tell you how much I need the next expandalone that includes Dumbledore, Hagrid, Snape, and Umbridge. I need, like, I NEED to deal some damage to that pink witch SO MUCH. In any case, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a patronus-fueled 10 / 12. If you are on the fence about this gimmicky-looking game, then let me help you – get it. Play it a lot and play it with lots of other people (when possible). Extra points to Hufflegriffinsnake if you yell out the spell names a la Harold Potter in the movies.
Funkoverse Strategy Game: Harry Potter (which I will now refer to as HP Funko) is a tactics-based strategy game where effectively using Action Points is the determining factor in victory. Each player will take charge of a 2- or 3-character team engaged in one of four included scenarios to gain VP (the awesome teal shards). This is done in different fashions, and for this review we used the “Territories” scenario.
DISCLAIMER: The Tenth Doctor and Dr. Strange are not included in the game, I supplied them. In the box are discs to represent a generic Auror (Ten) and Death Eater (Strange). If you choose to use a supplementary Funko Pop! please know that they may be much larger in size and difficult to maneuver on the board. Also, I will not be detailing every rule in the rulebook as there are just too many. For full rules, download the rulebook today or pick up a copy at your FLGS! -T
To setup follow the instructions in the rulebook and the chosen scenario. For Territories, it will look similar to the setup below, but the characters may not be facing a camera, as mine are. Once the players are satisfied with setup, the first player token is flipped coin-toss style to see which team will lead the first round. The game is now underway!
Turns are somewhat simple: each character can do two actions, which include: Move, Challenge, Interact, Assist, Rally, and Use Ability/Items. Movement is two squares, with diagonals allowed, but not through any part of an obstruction. In fact, obstructions and line-of-sight are big parts of the game, as several pages of the rulebook are devoted to them. To Challenge another character is the combat of the game. The attacker will typically throw two dice to initiate an attack and the defender will use as many dice as is printed on their character card. However, this is a Harry Potter game, so Challenges will also allow characters to use magic spells to augment their attacks or inflict other debilitations or statuses on their targets. Simple majority of successful results rolled wins the Challenge. Characters may be knocked down as a result of a Challenge, and if already knocked down and successfully attacked again, may also be knocked out of the game for a certain number of rounds (usually one).
To Interact with a token on the board a character will need to position themselves either directly on the token or one space adjacent. These tokens could be merely points on the board that earn points, as in the current scenario.
If adjacent to a downed ally, a player could use an Assist action to stand up the ally. However, a character may stand themselves up on their turn by using both actions to Rally. This is the character’s entire turn worth of actions, but may be necessary to avoid being knocked out and placed on the Cooldown Track.
Lastly, characters may need to spend actions to use an ability or an item in their possession. Each ability and item will have its own instructions written on their respective cards. These will be instantly recognizable to fans of the HP universe and will use Ability Tokens or require the user to place the Item Card on the Cooldown Track to be used on a future turn.
After alternating characters on each team has exhausted every character, the round ends. Players will refresh their characters and move all tokens or cards down a space on the Cooldown Track. Should end of turn activities score teams VPs, they will claim the shards for their collection. Once the scenario’s objective has been met a player will be crowned victor and forced to cast Riddikulus on their opponent(s).
Components. This game does not ship with a ton of components, but the bits and pieces contained in the box are wonderful. The cardboard map and pieces are nice, the cards are good quality, and all the tokens are great as well. I really enjoy the VP shards and of course the smaller Pops! that are the main characters. They are a bit smaller than all the Pops! I have, but I’m not really a huge Pops! collector, so that may be the norm nowadays. The art throughout is really well-done and evocative of the theme. Overall the components are brilliant.
I am no fan of Mage Wars style games, as I typically find those types of tactical games tiresome. I usually end up just moving around and casting a spell every once in a while, but then it’s just a tedious game of cat and mouse that I just don’t feel like ever playing. However, with the scenarios provided with HP Funko I feel like I have a mission other than knocking out my opponents. Yes, I could still do that during a scenario, but that’s not the main focus. I like that quite a bit. In fact, there are generic tokens in the game that would even allow players to create their own scenarios. I might be interested in creating my own to play with a younger crowd even.
Moving those big heads around is fun and makes me giggle a bit, especially when they knock into each other and fall down because of the elephantitis of the noggin. I also like being able to send in my Tenth Doctor to use his Sonic Screwdriver to take out he-who-must-not-be-named whilst Dr. Strange looks on in amusement. Being able to use your own Pops! is a great twist and I am definitely a fan.
I guess I DO like tactical move-around-the-board-and-do-stuff games after all! I just needed a little direction and a good theme to pull me into the genre. I also have the expandalone for the HP version of this that includes Malfoy and Ron, and can’t wait to add those in as well. And let me tell you how much I need the next expandalone that includes Dumbledore, Hagrid, Snape, and Umbridge. I need, like, I NEED to deal some damage to that pink witch SO MUCH. In any case, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a patronus-fueled 10 / 12. If you are on the fence about this gimmicky-looking game, then let me help you – get it. Play it a lot and play it with lots of other people (when possible). Extra points to Hufflegriffinsnake if you yell out the spell names a la Harold Potter in the movies.
LilyLovesIndie (123 KP) rated Honour in Books
Nov 5, 2018
This review was originally carried out as part of a blog tour on Lily Loves Indie and can be seen here http://lilylovesindie.co.uk/?p=209
This stunning collection of short stories has got to be one of my favourite items on my kindle. When I read these I experienced such a depth of emotion and they moved me so much that I had to keep putting it down to get tissues and mop up the mess that I became. This, by far, is Feeney's greatest work to date. She elicits such a wonderful amount of emotion from you, and this is all the more remarkable when you consider that some of the stories are just a few thousand words long. In order to do each story the justice they truly deserve, I am going to briefly review each book before summing up my main ideas. So if you're sitting comfortably, I'll begin....
Honour
A young woman at a graveside, the rain falling down, already the emotions are running high, and this is just the first paragraph of the story, yet I'm hooked. Throughout the whole of this story Feeney leads you in a direction, letting your imagination fill the gaps, but then at the last minute she deals her hand and tells you exactly what is going on, and boy did it knock me for six! I was most definitely not expecting that turn of events, but strangely, it totally fitted. Apologies for the vagueness, but I don't want to spoil it for you as this is one of the key features of this story.
Deserter
Just as the title suggests, this story deals with a deserter, the officer who tries to cover it up and his family dealing with his actions at home. I know what you're thinking, there's enough material there to write a whole book! But Feeney writes this superbly, capturing the emotions of all the key characters in just a few short chapters. Jack's dilemma, and the reasoning behind his desertion, are both incredibly touching and very sensitively written. As someone who can't even begin to comprehend what horrors soldiers must see every day, I really feel like Feeney gave us a glimpse into a tortured mind, a soul that was broken and in need of so much healing that just simply wasn't available. She also deals fantastically with the stigma attached to deserting in a very delicate and sensitive manner, highlighting the other side of the story incredibly well.
Silence is Deafening
I've read and re-read this story so many times, but it still kills me every time! It's so emotionally written, charged with sadness and a sense of duty, a sense of honour. Strangely, I engaged more with Evelyn as I found myself imagining what her emotions would be when she wakes up and reads Joseph's letter. I could feel the ties that bound them together being strained and pulled, the pain they must have felt. It was just so well written the intensity of their love was completely real, it charged the room around my and stole my breath. But what I loved most about this story is that there was hope at the end. He might have survived, he might have come back. The tiniest glimmer was there, and it captured my imagination and sent seeds of thought rooting deep in my head. It's not a story you'll forget in a hurry, but in the best possible way!
Letters to No One
This is perhaps my favourite military based story I've ever written, but for me it is head and shoulders above the others in this collection. I could talk for hours about why I loved this story so much, but I'll try and summarise it and not spoil anything. The strongest feature of this particular story is it's wonderful believability and 'normal' way of approaching what is, to non-military families at least, a very abnormal situation. The letters are funny, yet very much full of a sadness at the separation and need to see each other one more time. Jonno is a great character, and although he doesn't feature much directly, it's the indirect references to him in his families letters which really bring him to life. Little Michael is totally adorable, and his letter is perhaps my favourite purely for the innocence only a child can have. The whole story touched me more than any other in this collection, eliciting full on body shaking sobs and I can only conclude that it is because it is a. wonderfully written and b. incredibly realistic. As much as I hate to admit it, this has probably happened to countless families out there, and that immense sadness just crushed me and opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at things.
Night Terrors
Initially, I found this quite difficult to get into, it's the one story in the collection I wasn't over keen on as I read through. However, it's a bit of a 'grower' and, like 'Silence is Deafening', it planted hundreds of little seeds of thought in my brain and when given time to develop they just grew and grew until they were out of control. Dealing with what is essentially PTSD, and how it affects not only the sufferer but also their family, 'Night Terrors' has so much it can teach the reader. We all think nothing of our 'normal' lives, but this was another story that really opened my eyes to the troubles being in the military can cause. Carl's dad clearly struggled for years, never feeling he could discuss him experiences and so they literally terrorised his dreams. It's incredibly sensitive in how the story deals with what is a very current and prevalent issue and Feeney deserves a great deal of credit for not only having the balls to deal with this subject matter, but also for doing it so brilliantly. Again, this is another emotionally charged piece of writing, but Feeney really does develop the plot so well and so subtly that it sucks you in without you noticing.
Welcome Home
The final story in the collection is as wonderful as the others. A happy ending, a reunion, a feeling of hope to carry forward. This is the ending we all want for all our soldiers, and Feeney cleverly reminds us that no matter how many may perish, and however sad that may be, we must always keep looking for that glimmer of hope, and take the opportunities of happiness that are offered to us when they are there, because we never know when they will be snatched away.
One of the key features in all of these stories is how engaging they are, despite what is, at times, very upsetting subject matter. The characters pull you in, the circumstances, although fictional, are tinged with a reality that brings you crashing down to ground when you think about them after (and believe me, you will) and you realise, 'that could have actually happened to someone'. It's a humbling thought, and one that really makes you think, but in a good way. Reading this book made me so much more thankful for the sacrifices servicemen and woman make, and the pain their families must experience, but mostly it made me grateful for my own life.
Something else that shines through is how real everything feels in these stories. I know Feeney did a large amount of research into military procedures and that is evident with the protocols, the addresses, the description, just everything really! It's clear that this writing means a lot to the author, and that passion for respect and honour of our armed forces just oozes from every page and fills you with a great sense of pride and patriotism. It's strange to feel proud of something when you're reading (unless it's something you've written), but Feeney manages to elicit that, as well as many other emotions as you're reading and it just builds to a huge crescendo.
Another key feature is the description, and this is a theme that is evident throughout the whole collection. Feeney puts so much into her writing. You can clearly see in your mind the characters, you can feel the emotions, you hurt when they hurt, smile when they smile. It's her attention to the small detail in this story that really gives this story that extra something. Even though you don't know all the specifics like names and ages, we know plenty to cry for their loss and smile with them in their joy. You hurt when they hurt. It's very rare I find a story that moves me in such a way, especially one that is just pages long, but that is exactly what this story does.
In conclusion, this book is truly phenomenal, one of the best pieces of literature I have read so far this year. It's engaging, thought provoking, realistic, easy to read, but above all, it's just, well, words fail me. Honestly, I cannot recommend this highly enough. Five stars is not enough for this book, and it truly deserves the highest accolades possible. Seriously, go one-click! It's now available on Amazon UK and Amazon US, but heed my warning, you want a lot of tissues near you when you read this, tear-jerker doesn't quite cover it!
* * * * * *
I am SO excited about reviewing this and interviewing the author over on Lily Loves Indie and Ramble Media on 1st November as part of the Blog Tour! Watch this space for updates and snippets of my review.
This stunning collection of short stories has got to be one of my favourite items on my kindle. When I read these I experienced such a depth of emotion and they moved me so much that I had to keep putting it down to get tissues and mop up the mess that I became. This, by far, is Feeney's greatest work to date. She elicits such a wonderful amount of emotion from you, and this is all the more remarkable when you consider that some of the stories are just a few thousand words long. In order to do each story the justice they truly deserve, I am going to briefly review each book before summing up my main ideas. So if you're sitting comfortably, I'll begin....
Honour
A young woman at a graveside, the rain falling down, already the emotions are running high, and this is just the first paragraph of the story, yet I'm hooked. Throughout the whole of this story Feeney leads you in a direction, letting your imagination fill the gaps, but then at the last minute she deals her hand and tells you exactly what is going on, and boy did it knock me for six! I was most definitely not expecting that turn of events, but strangely, it totally fitted. Apologies for the vagueness, but I don't want to spoil it for you as this is one of the key features of this story.
Deserter
Just as the title suggests, this story deals with a deserter, the officer who tries to cover it up and his family dealing with his actions at home. I know what you're thinking, there's enough material there to write a whole book! But Feeney writes this superbly, capturing the emotions of all the key characters in just a few short chapters. Jack's dilemma, and the reasoning behind his desertion, are both incredibly touching and very sensitively written. As someone who can't even begin to comprehend what horrors soldiers must see every day, I really feel like Feeney gave us a glimpse into a tortured mind, a soul that was broken and in need of so much healing that just simply wasn't available. She also deals fantastically with the stigma attached to deserting in a very delicate and sensitive manner, highlighting the other side of the story incredibly well.
Silence is Deafening
I've read and re-read this story so many times, but it still kills me every time! It's so emotionally written, charged with sadness and a sense of duty, a sense of honour. Strangely, I engaged more with Evelyn as I found myself imagining what her emotions would be when she wakes up and reads Joseph's letter. I could feel the ties that bound them together being strained and pulled, the pain they must have felt. It was just so well written the intensity of their love was completely real, it charged the room around my and stole my breath. But what I loved most about this story is that there was hope at the end. He might have survived, he might have come back. The tiniest glimmer was there, and it captured my imagination and sent seeds of thought rooting deep in my head. It's not a story you'll forget in a hurry, but in the best possible way!
Letters to No One
This is perhaps my favourite military based story I've ever written, but for me it is head and shoulders above the others in this collection. I could talk for hours about why I loved this story so much, but I'll try and summarise it and not spoil anything. The strongest feature of this particular story is it's wonderful believability and 'normal' way of approaching what is, to non-military families at least, a very abnormal situation. The letters are funny, yet very much full of a sadness at the separation and need to see each other one more time. Jonno is a great character, and although he doesn't feature much directly, it's the indirect references to him in his families letters which really bring him to life. Little Michael is totally adorable, and his letter is perhaps my favourite purely for the innocence only a child can have. The whole story touched me more than any other in this collection, eliciting full on body shaking sobs and I can only conclude that it is because it is a. wonderfully written and b. incredibly realistic. As much as I hate to admit it, this has probably happened to countless families out there, and that immense sadness just crushed me and opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at things.
Night Terrors
Initially, I found this quite difficult to get into, it's the one story in the collection I wasn't over keen on as I read through. However, it's a bit of a 'grower' and, like 'Silence is Deafening', it planted hundreds of little seeds of thought in my brain and when given time to develop they just grew and grew until they were out of control. Dealing with what is essentially PTSD, and how it affects not only the sufferer but also their family, 'Night Terrors' has so much it can teach the reader. We all think nothing of our 'normal' lives, but this was another story that really opened my eyes to the troubles being in the military can cause. Carl's dad clearly struggled for years, never feeling he could discuss him experiences and so they literally terrorised his dreams. It's incredibly sensitive in how the story deals with what is a very current and prevalent issue and Feeney deserves a great deal of credit for not only having the balls to deal with this subject matter, but also for doing it so brilliantly. Again, this is another emotionally charged piece of writing, but Feeney really does develop the plot so well and so subtly that it sucks you in without you noticing.
Welcome Home
The final story in the collection is as wonderful as the others. A happy ending, a reunion, a feeling of hope to carry forward. This is the ending we all want for all our soldiers, and Feeney cleverly reminds us that no matter how many may perish, and however sad that may be, we must always keep looking for that glimmer of hope, and take the opportunities of happiness that are offered to us when they are there, because we never know when they will be snatched away.
One of the key features in all of these stories is how engaging they are, despite what is, at times, very upsetting subject matter. The characters pull you in, the circumstances, although fictional, are tinged with a reality that brings you crashing down to ground when you think about them after (and believe me, you will) and you realise, 'that could have actually happened to someone'. It's a humbling thought, and one that really makes you think, but in a good way. Reading this book made me so much more thankful for the sacrifices servicemen and woman make, and the pain their families must experience, but mostly it made me grateful for my own life.
Something else that shines through is how real everything feels in these stories. I know Feeney did a large amount of research into military procedures and that is evident with the protocols, the addresses, the description, just everything really! It's clear that this writing means a lot to the author, and that passion for respect and honour of our armed forces just oozes from every page and fills you with a great sense of pride and patriotism. It's strange to feel proud of something when you're reading (unless it's something you've written), but Feeney manages to elicit that, as well as many other emotions as you're reading and it just builds to a huge crescendo.
Another key feature is the description, and this is a theme that is evident throughout the whole collection. Feeney puts so much into her writing. You can clearly see in your mind the characters, you can feel the emotions, you hurt when they hurt, smile when they smile. It's her attention to the small detail in this story that really gives this story that extra something. Even though you don't know all the specifics like names and ages, we know plenty to cry for their loss and smile with them in their joy. You hurt when they hurt. It's very rare I find a story that moves me in such a way, especially one that is just pages long, but that is exactly what this story does.
In conclusion, this book is truly phenomenal, one of the best pieces of literature I have read so far this year. It's engaging, thought provoking, realistic, easy to read, but above all, it's just, well, words fail me. Honestly, I cannot recommend this highly enough. Five stars is not enough for this book, and it truly deserves the highest accolades possible. Seriously, go one-click! It's now available on Amazon UK and Amazon US, but heed my warning, you want a lot of tissues near you when you read this, tear-jerker doesn't quite cover it!
* * * * * *
I am SO excited about reviewing this and interviewing the author over on Lily Loves Indie and Ramble Media on 1st November as part of the Blog Tour! Watch this space for updates and snippets of my review.
KalJ95 (25 KP) rated The Last of Us Part II in Video Games
Jun 23, 2020
You Won't Find A Better Game In Terms Of Presentation. (4 more)
Level Design Is Astounding.
Like The First Game, This Will Create A Conversation For Years To Come
Sound Design Is Incredible.
Takes Risks, And Some Do Pay Off.
A Flawed Sequel. (4 more)
Awful Pacing.
Structure Of Narrative Is Bad.
Some Terrible Dialogue.
Shoehorned Agenda.
The last of The Last of Us.
The video game industry doesn't get enough credit as a source of entertainment, in my humble opinion. Time and time again, the industry has proven that it can produce something magical, memorable, mesmerising to play, and even more so, something engaging to watch as someone not even holding the controller. Naughty Dog’s 2013 masterpiece, The Last of Us, became an overnight classic game because it was cinematic in presentation, and a rollercoaster of emotions in narrative. I sat and played the remastered version on my PlayStation 4 in 2017, and fell in love with the chemistry, love and heartbreak Joel and Ellie took with them, as they crossed a post-apocalyptic America. I was satisfied with the conclusion, and felt the story of these two characters was finished. I didn't need, or ever want a sequel. Then a few months pass, The Last of Us Part II is announced. Obviously, I was ecstatic, but also concerned. Trailers came and went, delays happened over and over, and leaks began to drip onto the internet. I was even more concerned with the leaks, and how this game was taking shape, but I remained open minded, and began playing the game.
The Last of Us Part II is a strange beast. An ambitious, exquisite experience, mired by multiple flaws in structure, pacing and plot holes. I simultaneously adored and loathed the twenty five hour experience, and I’m ready to do it all again. Ellie’s thirst for revenge deals with many issues of morality and hate, and the consequences of ones actions. To coin a phrase, “violence begets violence”, and this is very violent. A flawed piece of art, that often shoehorns a political tick list so it can cater to a certain demographic of sexuality and gender. Whatever you think about Part II, it will create a conversation for years to come, for better or worse.
Narrative:
Ellie and Joel are settled in Jackson, Wyoming, living a relatively normal existence. Ellie is nineteen, and has a job, like the rest of the fighters in Jackson, by going out into the world on routes to clear out the wondering infected. When Ellie witnesses a violent event, she takes it into her own hands to take bloody revenge on the people responsible.
A big risk was taken by Naughty Dog to decide what they did for the first two hours, even the VP of the company, Neil Druckmann, said himself the game will be “divisive”, and that is probably an understatement judging by the fan backlash. I feel it worked to support the other twenty three hours, and shows the blurry line of being good and bad in this world.
Unfortunately, the narrative slogs through awful structuring and some dreadful, downright cringe-worthy dialogue. The structure goes back and forth from the present day, to months, and sometimes years previous, and this is all to cement the events that keep the narrative flowing. The flashbacks featuring Joel and Ellie give you brief moments of happiness, followed by devastating revelations. They are the best moments of the game, you can feel the warmth the characters have for each other, and the heartbreaking actions they take. It made me wonder why they simply didn't just create a game with these ideas in mind. Other flashbacks create more problems than they solve, particularly in the latter half of the game. The first half, for all its faults, really treats you to a vicious and bloodthirsty ride through Seattle, and you completely feel the motivation and drive Ellie has to complete the mission she's set out to do. Seattle is huge, and the perfect backdrop for this game.
Sadly, the second half of the game is an absolute mess. The whole experience becomes nothing more than “go to this location, collect something, go back” over and over again. Its a lazy trope that causes so much fatigue in terms of pacing, slowing down any momentum gained by the first half. The second half serves the most important purpose too, and while I did grow to understand the intention it was presenting me, I couldn't help but feel frequently bored of doing fetch quests. To remain as spoiler free as possible, the game is split into two perspectives of Ellie, and an entirely new character. Naughty Dog wants you to understand the perspectives of both sides, but the history thats been created with the original game, you cant help but sympathise with Ellie more. The fact that its half the game away from the main protagonist, and starts you fresh with a new character, with new skill sets and weapons, really feels out of place. This could of worked much better as an episodic entry, rather than just two stories, one after the other. I can understand people who love this way of storytelling, but for me it slows the pacing down.
Gameplay:
Part II is the most beautiful game I’ve ever played. Naughty Dog continue to set the bar extremely high in terms of surroundings and facial animations, and the seamless transitions from cutscene to gameplay made my jaw drop. Each facial movement shows the hurt, the honesty, the devastation the characters carry with them. It almost feels more like a film or tv series than a video game, featuring an excellent performance from Troy Baker, and a career defining show from Ashley Johnson. Unfortunately, some of the new cast members don't have enough time on screen to give a full understanding of their personality or perspective. Some are likeable, relatable even, but some are just annoying, saying some of the strangest, out of place dialogue.
In terms of its gameplay, Part II hasn't really changed anything from its predecessor. It feels the same, whether you enjoyed it first time round or not. I personally am in the middle ground, it works for what it is. The Last of Us has always been a game about surviving by any means necessary. Part II feels like multiple ideas all in one, all conflicting themselves. Let me explain:
The game actively tries to twist the act of killing people to make you seem like its an awful thing to do. This is an interesting idea that has been done many times before in games, but it works in the oddest of ways here. I have completed the game twice now, and found it almost impossible to not kill anyone, yet cutscenes display remorse within the characters after they’ve murdered someone. This conflicts the idea of the whole game, where one moment I'm slicing a persons throat with a knife, the next I do the exact same, but this time I regret that decision. Again, its adding less weight to the story, and actively contradicting everything that happens.
Extra Notes:
The environments of Part II are some of the best in a video game. A sandbox of lush greenery and worn down buildings follows the same formula that Naughty Dog designed in Uncharted: The Lost Legacy, where you can explore a massive space to do what you find the objectives, but also see the sights and collect items. The level design of the entire game is absolutely masterful, but this level astounded me graphically and structurally.
By this point, it probably feels like I utterly hated Part II. I did, and didn’t, and thats the line I'm sticking on. The Last of Us always presented a commentary as to the nature of relationships, love, life and death. At the core was Ellie and Joel, two wayward strangers forced together on a journey across America. Everyone has a reason to love that game, for me its their chemistry and progression. Joel was hardened, standoffish, only to warm to Ellie, and love her by the end. Ellie, the immune girl who's humorous, optimistic and full of life, who ultimately becomes cold, quiet and sceptical of Joel.
Part II presents a different commentary, one of revenge and hate. I firmly believe Part II is weak in most areas, a downgrade in fact compared to its counterpart, but its so beautiful and bleak, with so many incapsulated moments of joy, heartbreak, love, shock. Its uncompromising, relentless and essential for anyone with a PS4. This will be a game I will constantly change my opinion on the more I think about it. As I said at the beginning, I never felt a sequel was necessary, and I firmly believe the story must end here.
(P.S. I must mention that Naughty Dog and Sony have only themselves to blame when it comes to the reception Part II has received during its release and promotional material. Early reviewers were told that they could only go into detail about the first ten or so hours, not mentioning the other fifteen. The other fifteen hours are incredibly important to mention, and they either make or break this game, so not letting reviewers do their job feels disingenuous, and from my point of view shows that they had no faith in their product to be criticised. The promotional material is also hugely misleading. The trailers show a completely different game, and characters are swapped for others in key scenes. That is wrong, and once again, shows your audience you had zero faith in your product based on the actual plot of your game.)
The Last of Us Part II is a strange beast. An ambitious, exquisite experience, mired by multiple flaws in structure, pacing and plot holes. I simultaneously adored and loathed the twenty five hour experience, and I’m ready to do it all again. Ellie’s thirst for revenge deals with many issues of morality and hate, and the consequences of ones actions. To coin a phrase, “violence begets violence”, and this is very violent. A flawed piece of art, that often shoehorns a political tick list so it can cater to a certain demographic of sexuality and gender. Whatever you think about Part II, it will create a conversation for years to come, for better or worse.
Narrative:
Ellie and Joel are settled in Jackson, Wyoming, living a relatively normal existence. Ellie is nineteen, and has a job, like the rest of the fighters in Jackson, by going out into the world on routes to clear out the wondering infected. When Ellie witnesses a violent event, she takes it into her own hands to take bloody revenge on the people responsible.
A big risk was taken by Naughty Dog to decide what they did for the first two hours, even the VP of the company, Neil Druckmann, said himself the game will be “divisive”, and that is probably an understatement judging by the fan backlash. I feel it worked to support the other twenty three hours, and shows the blurry line of being good and bad in this world.
Unfortunately, the narrative slogs through awful structuring and some dreadful, downright cringe-worthy dialogue. The structure goes back and forth from the present day, to months, and sometimes years previous, and this is all to cement the events that keep the narrative flowing. The flashbacks featuring Joel and Ellie give you brief moments of happiness, followed by devastating revelations. They are the best moments of the game, you can feel the warmth the characters have for each other, and the heartbreaking actions they take. It made me wonder why they simply didn't just create a game with these ideas in mind. Other flashbacks create more problems than they solve, particularly in the latter half of the game. The first half, for all its faults, really treats you to a vicious and bloodthirsty ride through Seattle, and you completely feel the motivation and drive Ellie has to complete the mission she's set out to do. Seattle is huge, and the perfect backdrop for this game.
Sadly, the second half of the game is an absolute mess. The whole experience becomes nothing more than “go to this location, collect something, go back” over and over again. Its a lazy trope that causes so much fatigue in terms of pacing, slowing down any momentum gained by the first half. The second half serves the most important purpose too, and while I did grow to understand the intention it was presenting me, I couldn't help but feel frequently bored of doing fetch quests. To remain as spoiler free as possible, the game is split into two perspectives of Ellie, and an entirely new character. Naughty Dog wants you to understand the perspectives of both sides, but the history thats been created with the original game, you cant help but sympathise with Ellie more. The fact that its half the game away from the main protagonist, and starts you fresh with a new character, with new skill sets and weapons, really feels out of place. This could of worked much better as an episodic entry, rather than just two stories, one after the other. I can understand people who love this way of storytelling, but for me it slows the pacing down.
Gameplay:
Part II is the most beautiful game I’ve ever played. Naughty Dog continue to set the bar extremely high in terms of surroundings and facial animations, and the seamless transitions from cutscene to gameplay made my jaw drop. Each facial movement shows the hurt, the honesty, the devastation the characters carry with them. It almost feels more like a film or tv series than a video game, featuring an excellent performance from Troy Baker, and a career defining show from Ashley Johnson. Unfortunately, some of the new cast members don't have enough time on screen to give a full understanding of their personality or perspective. Some are likeable, relatable even, but some are just annoying, saying some of the strangest, out of place dialogue.
In terms of its gameplay, Part II hasn't really changed anything from its predecessor. It feels the same, whether you enjoyed it first time round or not. I personally am in the middle ground, it works for what it is. The Last of Us has always been a game about surviving by any means necessary. Part II feels like multiple ideas all in one, all conflicting themselves. Let me explain:
The game actively tries to twist the act of killing people to make you seem like its an awful thing to do. This is an interesting idea that has been done many times before in games, but it works in the oddest of ways here. I have completed the game twice now, and found it almost impossible to not kill anyone, yet cutscenes display remorse within the characters after they’ve murdered someone. This conflicts the idea of the whole game, where one moment I'm slicing a persons throat with a knife, the next I do the exact same, but this time I regret that decision. Again, its adding less weight to the story, and actively contradicting everything that happens.
Extra Notes:
The environments of Part II are some of the best in a video game. A sandbox of lush greenery and worn down buildings follows the same formula that Naughty Dog designed in Uncharted: The Lost Legacy, where you can explore a massive space to do what you find the objectives, but also see the sights and collect items. The level design of the entire game is absolutely masterful, but this level astounded me graphically and structurally.
By this point, it probably feels like I utterly hated Part II. I did, and didn’t, and thats the line I'm sticking on. The Last of Us always presented a commentary as to the nature of relationships, love, life and death. At the core was Ellie and Joel, two wayward strangers forced together on a journey across America. Everyone has a reason to love that game, for me its their chemistry and progression. Joel was hardened, standoffish, only to warm to Ellie, and love her by the end. Ellie, the immune girl who's humorous, optimistic and full of life, who ultimately becomes cold, quiet and sceptical of Joel.
Part II presents a different commentary, one of revenge and hate. I firmly believe Part II is weak in most areas, a downgrade in fact compared to its counterpart, but its so beautiful and bleak, with so many incapsulated moments of joy, heartbreak, love, shock. Its uncompromising, relentless and essential for anyone with a PS4. This will be a game I will constantly change my opinion on the more I think about it. As I said at the beginning, I never felt a sequel was necessary, and I firmly believe the story must end here.
(P.S. I must mention that Naughty Dog and Sony have only themselves to blame when it comes to the reception Part II has received during its release and promotional material. Early reviewers were told that they could only go into detail about the first ten or so hours, not mentioning the other fifteen. The other fifteen hours are incredibly important to mention, and they either make or break this game, so not letting reviewers do their job feels disingenuous, and from my point of view shows that they had no faith in their product to be criticised. The promotional material is also hugely misleading. The trailers show a completely different game, and characters are swapped for others in key scenes. That is wrong, and once again, shows your audience you had zero faith in your product based on the actual plot of your game.)
Kris Karcher (10 KP) rated Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) in Movies
Jan 5, 2018
Better then it looks.
Contains spoilers, click to show
It’s been years since I’ve seen the original 1995 Jumanji, but from what I can remember as a 5-10 year old (not sure when I got around to owning the VHS) I enjoyed it. Robin Williams was on fire in the 90’s and turned in another comparable performance in this fun action adventure film. This new incarnation of the Jumanji tale changes direction a bit. For one it swaps the outdated board game that contains an entire jungle world inside it, for a more cultural relevant video game console that contains an entire jungle world inside it. I’m actually surprised they didn't use an iPad. 2017’s Jumanji also adds in a body swapping element. The teens that enter the game suddenly become adult video game characters. Complete with skills and weakness of varying degrees of usefulness.
Semantics aside, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is also a serviceable blockbuster flick. It’s a fun film that moves at a decent pace and avoids a lot of the typical dull spots most popcorn flicks fall victim to. The adult cast is a fun mixture of comedic talent and have some great chemistry together. The teenage cast less so but they have a more limited role in the film. I enjoyed watching the adult cast attempt to convey the teenagers “inside” them. Dwayne Johnson does this particularly well, playing a timid nerdy teenager trapped in the body of a jacked, smoldering, elite fighting machine. The film purposefully miscast each role. Kevin Hart play’s the avatar of a 6ft football star, Jack black stands in for a Mean Chick-esc selfie obsessed teenage girl, and the bad ass Karen Gillan plays the avatar of an insecure self-conscious teenage girl. The dichotomy of the characters real-life personalities always being at odds with their avatars new physical and mental attributes provides much of the comedy. Not all of it lands, but enough does and they don’t overdo it.
Once we enter the world of Jumanji the characters attempt to figure out how the “game” works. This leads to some humorous video game style exposition. I found this method of exposition to be unique and interesting. Incorporating NPC’s (Non-playable characters) whose sole purpose is to help players figure out what is going on and how to play the game was a fun and meta way to advance the story. It sort of reminds me of some of the things I enjoyed about 2012’s Wreck-It Ralph.
Then the gang runs into the other player in the game and another star of the film, Nick Jonas. Jonas plays Jefferson "Seaplane" McDonough who is the avatar of Zack a teenage boy sucked into the game in 1997 (Jonas uses 1997 lingo frequently. Radical.) and has lived in the jungle for what he claims to be “a few months”. This leads to the biggest missed opportunity of the film. Time apparently moves differently in Jumanji. A few months in Jumanji translates to 20 years in real life. When Zack is told he has been missing 20 years this should have been a major B plot. They do try and add some weight to the situation by showing how deeply affected Zack is by this news, but I feel they could have explored this dynamic a bit further. Especially when it comes to the ending. Which is a bit anticlimactic. Once they all end up working together to escape Jumanji they all are all transported back to their respective timelines and it would appear as though no time has passed. So it sort of ditches the whole being stuck in the game for 20 years angle and instead chooses to allow Zack to live a full and complete life starting from 1997. Also, the main cast seems to be unaffected timeline wise. All of this film took place while they were down in the basement serving their detentions. It would have made for a much more interesting ending if they return to their bodies and find out that in the real world they were gone for a longer period of time. Even just a week or so would have added an interesting dynamic to the pretty flat and standard ending. They do end up meeting up with grown-up Zack (Played by Colin Hanks) and there is a nice little payoff to the quasi-romance Nick Jonas and Jack Black had throughout the film. (Yes you read that correctly.) Alex named his daughter after Bethany who saved his life in the jungle.
The four teenagers all learn valuable life lessons inside the jungle. Fridge leans to appreciate his friend Spencer. Spencer learns to man up and take risks. Bethany learns to care about something other than herself and her popularity, and Martha learns to come out of her shell a bit and open up. While I often find these types of stories to be heavy-handed and snooze-worthy Jumanji manages to keep the gushy feel good stuff to a minimum. It’s there, and it’s obvious but it’s not in your face enough to bring down the movie.
Ultimately I will go ahead and recommend Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle if your into Action comedy that doesn't ever take itself too seriously. I repeat this is not a serious movie. But it is a mildly funny, family-friendly romp that I fully expect anyone who paid for a ticket to at least get their monies worth. Provided they came in with the right expectations.
Semantics aside, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is also a serviceable blockbuster flick. It’s a fun film that moves at a decent pace and avoids a lot of the typical dull spots most popcorn flicks fall victim to. The adult cast is a fun mixture of comedic talent and have some great chemistry together. The teenage cast less so but they have a more limited role in the film. I enjoyed watching the adult cast attempt to convey the teenagers “inside” them. Dwayne Johnson does this particularly well, playing a timid nerdy teenager trapped in the body of a jacked, smoldering, elite fighting machine. The film purposefully miscast each role. Kevin Hart play’s the avatar of a 6ft football star, Jack black stands in for a Mean Chick-esc selfie obsessed teenage girl, and the bad ass Karen Gillan plays the avatar of an insecure self-conscious teenage girl. The dichotomy of the characters real-life personalities always being at odds with their avatars new physical and mental attributes provides much of the comedy. Not all of it lands, but enough does and they don’t overdo it.
Once we enter the world of Jumanji the characters attempt to figure out how the “game” works. This leads to some humorous video game style exposition. I found this method of exposition to be unique and interesting. Incorporating NPC’s (Non-playable characters) whose sole purpose is to help players figure out what is going on and how to play the game was a fun and meta way to advance the story. It sort of reminds me of some of the things I enjoyed about 2012’s Wreck-It Ralph.
Then the gang runs into the other player in the game and another star of the film, Nick Jonas. Jonas plays Jefferson "Seaplane" McDonough who is the avatar of Zack a teenage boy sucked into the game in 1997 (Jonas uses 1997 lingo frequently. Radical.) and has lived in the jungle for what he claims to be “a few months”. This leads to the biggest missed opportunity of the film. Time apparently moves differently in Jumanji. A few months in Jumanji translates to 20 years in real life. When Zack is told he has been missing 20 years this should have been a major B plot. They do try and add some weight to the situation by showing how deeply affected Zack is by this news, but I feel they could have explored this dynamic a bit further. Especially when it comes to the ending. Which is a bit anticlimactic. Once they all end up working together to escape Jumanji they all are all transported back to their respective timelines and it would appear as though no time has passed. So it sort of ditches the whole being stuck in the game for 20 years angle and instead chooses to allow Zack to live a full and complete life starting from 1997. Also, the main cast seems to be unaffected timeline wise. All of this film took place while they were down in the basement serving their detentions. It would have made for a much more interesting ending if they return to their bodies and find out that in the real world they were gone for a longer period of time. Even just a week or so would have added an interesting dynamic to the pretty flat and standard ending. They do end up meeting up with grown-up Zack (Played by Colin Hanks) and there is a nice little payoff to the quasi-romance Nick Jonas and Jack Black had throughout the film. (Yes you read that correctly.) Alex named his daughter after Bethany who saved his life in the jungle.
The four teenagers all learn valuable life lessons inside the jungle. Fridge leans to appreciate his friend Spencer. Spencer learns to man up and take risks. Bethany learns to care about something other than herself and her popularity, and Martha learns to come out of her shell a bit and open up. While I often find these types of stories to be heavy-handed and snooze-worthy Jumanji manages to keep the gushy feel good stuff to a minimum. It’s there, and it’s obvious but it’s not in your face enough to bring down the movie.
Ultimately I will go ahead and recommend Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle if your into Action comedy that doesn't ever take itself too seriously. I repeat this is not a serious movie. But it is a mildly funny, family-friendly romp that I fully expect anyone who paid for a ticket to at least get their monies worth. Provided they came in with the right expectations.
Justin Patchett (42 KP) rated Roma (2018) in Movies
Mar 3, 2019
Caught in a bad Roma
Contains spoilers, click to show
It’s been a long while since I watched a film deserving of a truly, harshly negative review. I have gotten so close so many times, and I’ll be damned if Netflix hadn’t gotten close to earning that with the fridge-logic that ruined Bird Box. Even Bird Box, though, feels enjoyable in retrospect compared to another Netflix exclusive: Alfonso Cuarón’s Roma.
Since I’m in a clear minority on this film, I feel obligated to preemptively address some common criticisms. If Roma had been produced in English, presented in color and with any score, it couldn’t fix the fact that I simply dislike Roma’s genre. Sure, I’ve liked slice-of-life drama films, and modern period pieces do fine by me. Pretentious Oscar-farming arthouse flicks like this, though, never win my praise.
Roma follows Cleo, a housemaid in Mexico City. Cleo has gotten pregnant and the presumed father, Fermín, leaves her to buy cigarettes before the baby’s even born. Her employer, Sofía, is dealing with a cheating spouse. What follows is two hours of both of these women marginally helping each other with their respective situations. As slice-of-life films do.
Since it's a slice-of-life film, much of the story just basically happens. You'll remember a scene here or there that happened, even if it was ultimately insignificant. In one scene for instance, Cleo goes to confront the baby daddy, who’s at a huge martial arts class. She spectates and proves to be the only one able to perform a certain yoga pose. Which is important because it helped add another few minutes to the film.
Cleo goes into labor not long after this confrontation, but her daughter ends up being stillborn. This all happens in the midst of the Corpus Christi Massacre. What the heck was the Corpus Christi Massacre, you may ask? According to this film, it was a brutal inconvenience on Cleo’s way to the hospital after her water breaks. This actual historical event simply happens and is never addressed for one second more. You know, just like in Titanic where the shipwreck just makes things inconvenient for Rose and Jack.
The last major scene in the film comes when Sofía invites Cleo to come with her family on a trip to the beach, not as staff but to help Cleo cope with the tragedy of losing her child. While they’re there, Sofía leaves the children in Cleo’s care for two freaking minutes, and two of the kids nearly drown. Cleo, though, can’t swim, and so she stands out in the water as the kids rescue each other. And that's about as close as Roma gets to a cohesive plot. Cleo only came with them to help her grieving, which meant she could be there to be powerless while her employer’s kids save each other’s lives. Bad things happen to us, the film teaches, so that good things can coincidentally happen in our proximity.
In fact, coincidence seems to be the running theme, here. Remember the Corpus Christi Massacre? No? What if I call it “the scene where Cleo goes into labor”? Maybe that helps? Fermín briefly held Cleo at gunpoint in the middle of it. Again, mere coincidence. Just like it’s a mere coincidence that she goes into labor the same day as a massacre that killed 120 people. As coincidences do.
Roma isn’t an aggressively bad film. There are a rare few moments within Roma’s 2-hour runtime where you think, “I can see that clip showing up during a Facebook video binge,” but again: These are moments more rare than our current president ordering a rare steak. That rarity has everything to do with the fact that the movie has so few moments, at all. The rest is shots that linger too long from angles that repeat themselves all too often. It’s like Cuarón asked someone, “What does a movie like Juno need to be better?” They responded, “Nothing.” So Cuarón packed Roma with nothing.
Which brings up one of my biggest criticisms of Roma: The cinematography is bland. Cuarón shot practically the entire film on one camera, set a specific distance from the subject, and kept takes running as longer than they should have, padding out a short-film’s worth of content to feature length. It’s bland cinematography that somehow earned an Oscar for Best Cinematography.
Gravity showed us what Cuarón was capable of. Beyond bringing a seemingly authentic view of space to the big screen, Gravity offered variety. Yes, the huge collision scene in Gravity takes on the feel of a one-take scene, but even then, the camera moves with the action. And if your attention moves away from the foreground the shot, you’re able to see other important things going on. With Roma, though, your foreground is your film. Period. And to be sure, you'll be kept at arm's length from that foreground at all times, both metaphorically and cinematically.
There's a number of reasons why Roma wasn't the Best Picture, this year. Gravity proved that Roma is not Cuarón’s best film. Bo Burnham–yes, that Bo Burnham–wrote and directed a better slice-of-life film with Eighth Grade. And Roma might not even be the past year’s best black-and-white film; I dare suggest that Cold War may have been better.
To give it the credit it’s due, Roma’s cast rightly earned nominations for their performances. Yalitza Aparicio and Marina de Tavira earned Best Actress nominations for their roles, and for their part, their performances were authentic as can be. It's the least the Academy could do for having them endure Cuarón's lengthy takes.
But now that I've given it credit, I demand my time back for the scene of Fermín going Star Wars Kid meets Full Monty.
Since I’m in a clear minority on this film, I feel obligated to preemptively address some common criticisms. If Roma had been produced in English, presented in color and with any score, it couldn’t fix the fact that I simply dislike Roma’s genre. Sure, I’ve liked slice-of-life drama films, and modern period pieces do fine by me. Pretentious Oscar-farming arthouse flicks like this, though, never win my praise.
Roma follows Cleo, a housemaid in Mexico City. Cleo has gotten pregnant and the presumed father, Fermín, leaves her to buy cigarettes before the baby’s even born. Her employer, Sofía, is dealing with a cheating spouse. What follows is two hours of both of these women marginally helping each other with their respective situations. As slice-of-life films do.
Since it's a slice-of-life film, much of the story just basically happens. You'll remember a scene here or there that happened, even if it was ultimately insignificant. In one scene for instance, Cleo goes to confront the baby daddy, who’s at a huge martial arts class. She spectates and proves to be the only one able to perform a certain yoga pose. Which is important because it helped add another few minutes to the film.
Cleo goes into labor not long after this confrontation, but her daughter ends up being stillborn. This all happens in the midst of the Corpus Christi Massacre. What the heck was the Corpus Christi Massacre, you may ask? According to this film, it was a brutal inconvenience on Cleo’s way to the hospital after her water breaks. This actual historical event simply happens and is never addressed for one second more. You know, just like in Titanic where the shipwreck just makes things inconvenient for Rose and Jack.
The last major scene in the film comes when Sofía invites Cleo to come with her family on a trip to the beach, not as staff but to help Cleo cope with the tragedy of losing her child. While they’re there, Sofía leaves the children in Cleo’s care for two freaking minutes, and two of the kids nearly drown. Cleo, though, can’t swim, and so she stands out in the water as the kids rescue each other. And that's about as close as Roma gets to a cohesive plot. Cleo only came with them to help her grieving, which meant she could be there to be powerless while her employer’s kids save each other’s lives. Bad things happen to us, the film teaches, so that good things can coincidentally happen in our proximity.
In fact, coincidence seems to be the running theme, here. Remember the Corpus Christi Massacre? No? What if I call it “the scene where Cleo goes into labor”? Maybe that helps? Fermín briefly held Cleo at gunpoint in the middle of it. Again, mere coincidence. Just like it’s a mere coincidence that she goes into labor the same day as a massacre that killed 120 people. As coincidences do.
Roma isn’t an aggressively bad film. There are a rare few moments within Roma’s 2-hour runtime where you think, “I can see that clip showing up during a Facebook video binge,” but again: These are moments more rare than our current president ordering a rare steak. That rarity has everything to do with the fact that the movie has so few moments, at all. The rest is shots that linger too long from angles that repeat themselves all too often. It’s like Cuarón asked someone, “What does a movie like Juno need to be better?” They responded, “Nothing.” So Cuarón packed Roma with nothing.
Which brings up one of my biggest criticisms of Roma: The cinematography is bland. Cuarón shot practically the entire film on one camera, set a specific distance from the subject, and kept takes running as longer than they should have, padding out a short-film’s worth of content to feature length. It’s bland cinematography that somehow earned an Oscar for Best Cinematography.
Gravity showed us what Cuarón was capable of. Beyond bringing a seemingly authentic view of space to the big screen, Gravity offered variety. Yes, the huge collision scene in Gravity takes on the feel of a one-take scene, but even then, the camera moves with the action. And if your attention moves away from the foreground the shot, you’re able to see other important things going on. With Roma, though, your foreground is your film. Period. And to be sure, you'll be kept at arm's length from that foreground at all times, both metaphorically and cinematically.
There's a number of reasons why Roma wasn't the Best Picture, this year. Gravity proved that Roma is not Cuarón’s best film. Bo Burnham–yes, that Bo Burnham–wrote and directed a better slice-of-life film with Eighth Grade. And Roma might not even be the past year’s best black-and-white film; I dare suggest that Cold War may have been better.
To give it the credit it’s due, Roma’s cast rightly earned nominations for their performances. Yalitza Aparicio and Marina de Tavira earned Best Actress nominations for their roles, and for their part, their performances were authentic as can be. It's the least the Academy could do for having them endure Cuarón's lengthy takes.
But now that I've given it credit, I demand my time back for the scene of Fermín going Star Wars Kid meets Full Monty.