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Scott Tostik (389 KP) rated Zombeavers (2015) in Movies
Jan 4, 2019
Cool Cameos (2 more)
John Mayer and Bill Burr... That's right I said John Fuckin Mayer
B Movie Hall of Fame candidate
Zom what???
Upon forst look, a title like Zombeavers, kind of makes you think of porn... Rob Rotten porn... But once you dive ( get it...dive) into Zombeavers you cant help bit want to stick around and see what these creatures look like.
And, in all cheesey movie goodness... The hand puppeted varments look like shit... They flop around aimlessly in an attempt to look like they are attacking with great vigor... Only to come across like a dying trout, flipping and slopping through the air on the ground.
Bill Burr and a nearly unrecognizable John Mayer open the movie as two good ol boy toxic waste drivers who "unknowingly" dump a barrel of some kind of hazardous chemicals off their truck as they're discussing prison sex and gettin blown by dudes... Comedic genius honestly... It's brilliant.
But overall, this cast of not a lot of anyones... Including some chick from American Soap Opera Days of our Lives... And some other girl from Death House can not save this trainwreck of a film. Its good in a way that is meant not to be good.
Over all cheese factor... Tostitos Con Queso Cheese Dip... That was left out of the fridge and had papers piled in top of it on your coffee table... So when you open it, it attacks your senses in all the wrong days.
While I'd love to give it a higher rating... I can not see giving it over a five.
And, in all cheesey movie goodness... The hand puppeted varments look like shit... They flop around aimlessly in an attempt to look like they are attacking with great vigor... Only to come across like a dying trout, flipping and slopping through the air on the ground.
Bill Burr and a nearly unrecognizable John Mayer open the movie as two good ol boy toxic waste drivers who "unknowingly" dump a barrel of some kind of hazardous chemicals off their truck as they're discussing prison sex and gettin blown by dudes... Comedic genius honestly... It's brilliant.
But overall, this cast of not a lot of anyones... Including some chick from American Soap Opera Days of our Lives... And some other girl from Death House can not save this trainwreck of a film. Its good in a way that is meant not to be good.
Over all cheese factor... Tostitos Con Queso Cheese Dip... That was left out of the fridge and had papers piled in top of it on your coffee table... So when you open it, it attacks your senses in all the wrong days.
While I'd love to give it a higher rating... I can not see giving it over a five.
Mark @ Carstairs Considers (2165 KP) rated The Double-A Western Detective Agency in Books
Jan 9, 2019
Detectifying in the Old West Once Again
Cowboy brothers turned detectives Big Red and Old Red have started a new detective agency with Diana and her father, Colonel Crowe. There's just one problem, the lack of paying customers. So when they are hired to travel to DeBatge, New Mexico, and catch some cattle rustlers, Old Red reluctantly agrees to go even though it's not the kind of case he wants to take. With Diana tagging along, the brothers set out. However, when they arrive, they discover a town divided with tensions running high. The source of this powder keg? Their client. Then a dead body turns up, igniting the fuse. Can Old Red figure things out before the town explodes? Will the trio get caught in the crossfire no matter what happens?
I was so glad when I learned author Steve Hockensmith was writing a new adventure for these two cowboys. If you haven't yet had the pleasure of traveling back to the 1890's with them, you are in for a treat. The characters are wonderful. Since we don't have too many recurring characters, that leaves plenty of room for new characters, and figuring out if they are friend or foe drives so much of the plot. Yes, there is a mystery, and Old Red does a great job of figuring out what is going on. He was certainly several steps ahead of me. However, the added stress of the conflicts in town adds to the tension and puts Big Red and Old Red's lives in danger on a regular basis. The humor from the earlier books is still here as well and helps defuse the tension a little.
I was so glad when I learned author Steve Hockensmith was writing a new adventure for these two cowboys. If you haven't yet had the pleasure of traveling back to the 1890's with them, you are in for a treat. The characters are wonderful. Since we don't have too many recurring characters, that leaves plenty of room for new characters, and figuring out if they are friend or foe drives so much of the plot. Yes, there is a mystery, and Old Red does a great job of figuring out what is going on. He was certainly several steps ahead of me. However, the added stress of the conflicts in town adds to the tension and puts Big Red and Old Red's lives in danger on a regular basis. The humor from the earlier books is still here as well and helps defuse the tension a little.
Kristy H (1252 KP) rated Life and Other Inconveniences in Books
Oct 24, 2019
Emma London is kicked out her home as pregnant teen. It particularly stings, because when Emma's mom died when she was a kid, her dad dropped her on his own mom's doorstop and never looked back. Genevieve, Emma's wealthy grandmother, took her in and raised her, but she never had much love for Emma. Perhaps because Genevieve was already dealing with her own tragedies: the disappearance of her young son, followed by the early death of her husband. Still, she had time to build a fashion empire--and neglect her other son (Emma's father). Emma hasn't let any of her family baggage stop her. She's built a good life for herself and her teenage daughter, Riley. But now she has a surprise call from Genevieve, asking her for help. Emma isn't sure she can go home again, but what if it's what's best for Riley? And maybe even for her?
What a wonderful read! This was a great book to consume poolside this summer.
I love Kristan Higgins' books and this one was no exception. Don’t go in expecting a light and fluffy romance, though. Sure, there are some romantic elements here and plenty of Higgins’ trademark wit and humor, but this is also a serious read that deals with momentous life events and tragedies. It’s sad, poignant, touching, and real. Because Higgins’ characters are so true to life, and because she immerses you so fully in their world, it’s easy to both laugh and cry while reading. It’s a character-driven read, and I was quickly drawn to Emma, Riley, and several others.
I definitely recommend this one, and if you haven’t picked up any of Higgins’ work, now is the time to start! 4.5 stars.
What a wonderful read! This was a great book to consume poolside this summer.
I love Kristan Higgins' books and this one was no exception. Don’t go in expecting a light and fluffy romance, though. Sure, there are some romantic elements here and plenty of Higgins’ trademark wit and humor, but this is also a serious read that deals with momentous life events and tragedies. It’s sad, poignant, touching, and real. Because Higgins’ characters are so true to life, and because she immerses you so fully in their world, it’s easy to both laugh and cry while reading. It’s a character-driven read, and I was quickly drawn to Emma, Riley, and several others.
I definitely recommend this one, and if you haven’t picked up any of Higgins’ work, now is the time to start! 4.5 stars.
Mark @ Carstairs Considers (2165 KP) rated Owl Be Home for Christmas in Books
Dec 21, 2019
White Christmas? Check! But Will Snow and a Killer Keep Meg from Being Home for Christmas?
It’s a few days before Christmas and Meg Langslow and much of her family are at the Caerphilly Inn for Owl Fest 2019, a conference being put on by Meg’s grandfather. Unfortunately, the worst winter storm in decades has also decided to visit, trapping the attendees in the hotel and possibly keeping them from going home for Christmas. As the snow continues to fall, tempers continue to rise. Owls are not without their controversy, but Dr. Frogmore seems to be at the center of much of the arguments breaking out. No one much likes him, but for some, the problems with him go much deeper. However, when Dr. Frogmore drops dead, Meg’s father suspects that it wasn’t natural causes. Are they trapped at the inn with a killer? Can Meg figure out what is really happening before the snow ends so the conference attendees fly home?
This novel uses a classic mystery trope – everyone trapped someplace with a killer. I’m a little disappointed since it’s been used twice in a row in the series now, and the result was me beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic while I was reading. The mystery itself was solid. It’s obvious early on who the victim will be, and we learn about motives and suspects even before he drops dead. The further complications after the murder takes place kept me guessing until the end. As much as I enjoy spending time with Meg’s family, they aren’t as funny as they used to be. The new characters do provide some laughs, but there are some serious issues in the book that dampen some of the humor. All told, this is still a fun entry to the series that will please Meg’s many fans.
This novel uses a classic mystery trope – everyone trapped someplace with a killer. I’m a little disappointed since it’s been used twice in a row in the series now, and the result was me beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic while I was reading. The mystery itself was solid. It’s obvious early on who the victim will be, and we learn about motives and suspects even before he drops dead. The further complications after the murder takes place kept me guessing until the end. As much as I enjoy spending time with Meg’s family, they aren’t as funny as they used to be. The new characters do provide some laughs, but there are some serious issues in the book that dampen some of the humor. All told, this is still a fun entry to the series that will please Meg’s many fans.
Gareth von Kallenbach (977 KP) rated The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) in Movies
Jul 2, 2019
When I was younger, my mom and I would get all dressed up and we would take a special holiday trip up to Seattle to see The Nutcracker. I was captivated by the costumes, dancing and the story. When I found out that a film was being made based off of the famed ballet I was very excited especially with Disney behind it.
Clara is given a gift for Christmas that requires a one of a kind key. To find this key she must follow a piece of string that leads her into a world full of magic and mystery but is in a state of disrepair. Along the way she meets many different characters who want to help her find the key and restore harmony within the lands.
The film in its entirety is visually stunning and equally entertaining. In a way, the film sort of reminds me of Alice In Wonderland as it has a very Tim Burtone-sque feel to it. The star studded cast made the film that much better. It was lovely seeing Mackenzie Foy all grown up, the beautiful Keira Knightly with her somewhat annoying high pitched character voice, Morgan Freeman and Dame Helen Mirren’s amazing acting and Misty Copeland’s beautiful dancing just to name a few.
It is certainly refreshing to see a new twist on a classic story. I am pleased that they didn’t do away with the dancing along with the most familiar score listened to during the holidays. The CG sets were amazing with bold colors that made the film very visually appealing. It encapsulates an entertaining and adventurous story along with humor and excellent acting. In my book, that is the perfect recipe for a great film. I look forward to adding this one to my ever growing movie collection.
Clara is given a gift for Christmas that requires a one of a kind key. To find this key she must follow a piece of string that leads her into a world full of magic and mystery but is in a state of disrepair. Along the way she meets many different characters who want to help her find the key and restore harmony within the lands.
The film in its entirety is visually stunning and equally entertaining. In a way, the film sort of reminds me of Alice In Wonderland as it has a very Tim Burtone-sque feel to it. The star studded cast made the film that much better. It was lovely seeing Mackenzie Foy all grown up, the beautiful Keira Knightly with her somewhat annoying high pitched character voice, Morgan Freeman and Dame Helen Mirren’s amazing acting and Misty Copeland’s beautiful dancing just to name a few.
It is certainly refreshing to see a new twist on a classic story. I am pleased that they didn’t do away with the dancing along with the most familiar score listened to during the holidays. The CG sets were amazing with bold colors that made the film very visually appealing. It encapsulates an entertaining and adventurous story along with humor and excellent acting. In my book, that is the perfect recipe for a great film. I look forward to adding this one to my ever growing movie collection.
Gareth von Kallenbach (977 KP) rated Penguins Of Madagascar (2014) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
Those cute little feathery spy guys are back in an all new action packed adventure. If you are unfamiliar with the Penguins of Madagascar animated series on Nick there is no need to worry. Here is a quick rundown; Skipper is the leader, Kowalski is the brains, Rico is the loose cannon, and Private is the rookie. This film takes off right after Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted when the Penguins are trying to escape from the Afro Circus song that seems to be driving everybody insane but also shows how they became a group and got their start.
This lighthearted film takes a break from all others that seem to always tug at those heartstrings. It is packed full of recognizable actors and a great script. The Penguins themselves are voiced by not so recognizable actors but are the ones who worked on Madagascar like animators directors etc. The real recognizable voices are those from the rival espionage crew the North Wind. Benedict Cumberbatch plays the gray wolf leader of a pack, Ken Jeong from the Hangover films, as a cute little seal, Annet Mahendru as an owl and Peter Stormare as a polar bear with a huge heart. Let’s not forget the big purple octopus villain played by John Malkovich whom has the perfect villain voice.
The script is chalk full of great humor for both kids and adults and is very entertaining. The writers used a lot of clever word play and great gags to entertain the audience throughout the entire film. Visually though the film can be viewed in 3D but as in most films it is not necessary to enjoy the 90 minutes of sheer silliness. This is a great film to take the kiddies to and also the adults like myself who are big fans of the flightless feathered quartet.
4 out of 5 herring
This lighthearted film takes a break from all others that seem to always tug at those heartstrings. It is packed full of recognizable actors and a great script. The Penguins themselves are voiced by not so recognizable actors but are the ones who worked on Madagascar like animators directors etc. The real recognizable voices are those from the rival espionage crew the North Wind. Benedict Cumberbatch plays the gray wolf leader of a pack, Ken Jeong from the Hangover films, as a cute little seal, Annet Mahendru as an owl and Peter Stormare as a polar bear with a huge heart. Let’s not forget the big purple octopus villain played by John Malkovich whom has the perfect villain voice.
The script is chalk full of great humor for both kids and adults and is very entertaining. The writers used a lot of clever word play and great gags to entertain the audience throughout the entire film. Visually though the film can be viewed in 3D but as in most films it is not necessary to enjoy the 90 minutes of sheer silliness. This is a great film to take the kiddies to and also the adults like myself who are big fans of the flightless feathered quartet.
4 out of 5 herring
Gareth von Kallenbach (977 KP) rated Fun Size (2012) in Movies
Aug 7, 2019
While this may be your typical Nickelodeon movie, it will bring you back to those days when the Beasties reigned supreme and Elizabeth Shue was having her Adventures in Babysitting. Wren (Victoria Justice) is your typical, slightly geeky, fairly hot high school student who thinks that going out for Halloween dressed as a Supreme Court justice is cool. Her friend April (Jane Leavy) is more in tune with high school social status and wants them to go to the popular boy’s party. They are actually discussing how this will never happen; when he rolls up and invites them to come. He may even sing a song for Wren.
Wren is getting ready to leave for the party when her mother (Chelsey Handler) tells her she needs to take Albert trick-or-treating. Albert is almost your typical little brother; there is an opening montage of all the sweaters he has destroyed of Wren’s. The small catch: Albert doesn’t talk. Wren takes Albert out and he gets into your usual mischief, but it’s not until they get separated in a haunted house that things really start to go wrong.
Wren realizes she has lost Albert and must find him and various hijinks ensue as Albert is exposed to the adult world of Halloween. Wren and her friends are caught up in all sorts of trouble looking for Albert, including their Volvo having an intimate encounter with a giant mechanized chicken.
Appearances by Kerri Kenney and Ana Gasteyer as the “moms” as well as Johnny Knoxville as the guy everybody can’t stand round out the cast and add some more adult humor to the story. All in all a cute movie, Fun Size will be enjoyed most by the Nickelodeon set, but parents will laugh as well. I laughed throughout the whole thing.
Wren is getting ready to leave for the party when her mother (Chelsey Handler) tells her she needs to take Albert trick-or-treating. Albert is almost your typical little brother; there is an opening montage of all the sweaters he has destroyed of Wren’s. The small catch: Albert doesn’t talk. Wren takes Albert out and he gets into your usual mischief, but it’s not until they get separated in a haunted house that things really start to go wrong.
Wren realizes she has lost Albert and must find him and various hijinks ensue as Albert is exposed to the adult world of Halloween. Wren and her friends are caught up in all sorts of trouble looking for Albert, including their Volvo having an intimate encounter with a giant mechanized chicken.
Appearances by Kerri Kenney and Ana Gasteyer as the “moms” as well as Johnny Knoxville as the guy everybody can’t stand round out the cast and add some more adult humor to the story. All in all a cute movie, Fun Size will be enjoyed most by the Nickelodeon set, but parents will laugh as well. I laughed throughout the whole thing.
Mark @ Carstairs Considers (2165 KP) rated Here Comes the Body in Books
Feb 26, 2020
Debut You Won’t Want to Refuse
Mia Carina has returned home after her adulterous husband’s mysterious disappearance to work in the family business. Or, I should say, the family’s new business. Her father, reputed mobster Ravello, has recently acquired the Belle View catering hall in the Queens borough of New York City, and Mia is going to help him run it as a 100% real business. Her first week on the job, Mia is in charge of a bachelor party when disaster strikes. Not only does the stripper not jump out of the cake, she’s dead in the cake. With the police showing interest in the new business and especially her father, Mia begins poking around, hoping to figure out what happened. Can she do it?
The mob? New York City? Yes, this is indeed still a cozy. While those are the elements that help make up this different take on the genre, they only help provide the background. The heart of the book is still a great puzzle and charming characters. Mia already knows some of the supporting players in the book, and we can tell right away how much they love each other. The rest of the characters are entertaining, and the suspects are strong. The plot weaves in some interesting directions before we reach the logical and satisfying conclusion. We get some great humor as Mia deals with a return home that isn’t as smooth as she thought it would be. Being a culinary cozy, we get some delicious sounding recipes at the end and a fun party idea. I took advantage of a lazy Sunday afternoon to finish this book, and I enjoyed every page of it. I’m already anxious for the sequel. It would be a mistake to refuse this excellent debut.
The mob? New York City? Yes, this is indeed still a cozy. While those are the elements that help make up this different take on the genre, they only help provide the background. The heart of the book is still a great puzzle and charming characters. Mia already knows some of the supporting players in the book, and we can tell right away how much they love each other. The rest of the characters are entertaining, and the suspects are strong. The plot weaves in some interesting directions before we reach the logical and satisfying conclusion. We get some great humor as Mia deals with a return home that isn’t as smooth as she thought it would be. Being a culinary cozy, we get some delicious sounding recipes at the end and a fun party idea. I took advantage of a lazy Sunday afternoon to finish this book, and I enjoyed every page of it. I’m already anxious for the sequel. It would be a mistake to refuse this excellent debut.
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