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Dancer in the Dark (2000)
Dancer in the Dark (2000)
2000 | Drama, Musical
"š˜ š˜°š˜¶ š˜¤š˜¢š˜Æ'š˜µ š˜“š˜¦š˜¦, š˜¤š˜¢š˜Æ š˜ŗš˜°š˜¶?"
"š˜žš˜©š˜¢š˜µ š˜Ŗš˜“ š˜µš˜©š˜¦š˜³š˜¦ š˜µš˜° š˜“š˜¦š˜¦?"
Easily the best musical which features a song number smack-dab in the middle of a murder trial. I really wish the last 40 or so minutes (minus the jaw-dropping ending) didn't veer so hard into - truthfully - pretty manipulative and rudimentary melodrama because the rest of this is one of very greatest musical experiences I've ever seen. A hallucinatory crossroads between visionary musical theater and downright grim drama. The behind-the-scenes hell that took place all aside, the entrancing performance that Bjƶrk gives in this is one of the most seminal of the entire millennium. So full of traumatizing characterizations, haunting and experimental musical numbers (not a single bad song to be found), largely genius storytelling, and a mercilessly abusive milieu that it had me shaking and out of breath before the first hour even passed. The way my heart pounded during this is unreal, one of those films where you just *know* something horrible is going to happen just around the corner but you never know when it'll hit - but when it does it's like a ton of bricks being dropped, rinse and repeat. Raw, innovating filmmaking at some of its most unforgettable.
  
Zombies Vs. Unicorns
Zombies Vs. Unicorns
Holly Black | 2010 | Fiction & Poetry
6
8.0 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
<b>Book Review</b>
I had heard about this feud soon after it started, so when news that a book was coming out I had to read it. C'mon, zombies and unicorns, this is a combination I couldn't miss out on. After a lackluster and disappointing start, with many stories I didn't like at all, I was starting to think I'd have a hard time finishing the book, even with the different authors. It wasn't until The Children of the Revolution by Maureen Johnson on page 147 that the stories picked up and I ended up enjoying the rest, though my enjoyment deviated from okay to great. The "arguments" between editors Holly Black (Team Unicorn) and Justine Larbalestier (Team Zombie) were usually quite amusing, though they themselves don't contribute to the book. I, for one, would have liked to have read their takes on their chosen teams.

I'm not going to review each story individually, but list them with my (very) basic impression of the story. The book has varying degrees of gore, cursing, sexual innuendo and references, bestiality (you read that right, but it's more referred to than shown, thank goodness), suicide, and other violent acts.

<u>Stories</u> (in order of appearance):
*The Highest Justice by Garth Nix (Marked as a unicorn story, this is actually both unicorn and zombie. A decent story.)
*Love Will Tear Us Apart by Alaya Dawn Johnson (Zombie. Did not care for this at all)
*Purity Test by Naomi Novik (Unicorn. Didn't hate this story, but wasn't fond of it either)
*Bougainvillea by Carrie Ryan (Zombie. Didn't like.)
*A Thousand Flowers by Margo Lanagan (Unicorn. Also wasn't fond of.)
*The Children of the Revolution by Maureen Johnson (Zombie. Rather twisted, but so am I, so I enjoyed it.)
*The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn by Diana Peterfreund (Unicorn. My favorite story in the anthology.)
*Inoculata by Scott Westerfield (Zombie. Pretty good.)
*Princess Prettypants by Meg Cabot (Unicorn. Very tongue-in-cheek, I liked this story a lot.)
*Cold Hands by Cassandra Clare (Zombie. Interesting world created here. Definitely passed my likability test.)
*The Third Virgin by Kathleen Duey (Unicorn. An okay story.)
*Prom Night by Libba Bray (Zombie. Second favorite of the book and very close to a tie with Peterfreund's tale.)

The unicorn stories went in many different directions, with all sorts of unicorns, while most of the zombie stories stayed where you would expect them and had typical zombies, though there were a few surprises still in store. I went into this as Team Zombie, and while my favorite was a unicorn story, I still firmly remain with the shamblers. Overall, I ended up enjoying the majority of the book, so if you're interested in zombies, unicorns, or especially both, pick this up for an interesting assortment of stories.
3.5 stars for the print version

<b>Audio Review</b>
This unabridged CD set includes ten discs, which average a little over one story each, though generally there is one whole story bookended by the end of one preceding it and the start of another afterward that will continue onto the next disc. They have very short chapters, generally less than a minute and I could tell when each chapter ended and the next began, which didn't make for totally smooth listening but it also wasn't too bad either. I would have rather have had longer chapters that had a clearer starting and stopping point to make it easier to find my place again. Most of the readers, both male and female, sound fairly young, which makes sense since this is a YA anthology, but the majority also sounded as if they were reading to school children, which makes for annoying listening. I found most of the voices grating and unfortunately none of them are named for me to be more specific. However, the one male was fine and the woman who did Diana Peterfreund was good and I believe she also narrated one or two others in the book. The use of sound effects break up stories, a groan that also says "brains" for zombies and trumpets and a horse whinny for unicorns. Immediately after is the intro from the editors with their ongoing debate that became increasingly irritating as I read on; this may have to do with how they performed those discussions. As written word, these exchanges are far more entertaining. For the most part, I really didn't enjoy listening to this and much prefer reading it in print.
2 stars for audio
  
The Irishman (2019)
The Irishman (2019)
2019 | Biography, Crime, Drama
Delivers What Is Expected
Like eating comfort food on a cold, wintery day, sitting down to catch the latest Scorsese/DeNiro mob movie filled me with a warmth that was satisfying for it's familiarity. It is a film landscape mined by professionals who know this genre of movie well.

There is a terrific film in this 3 1/2 hour epic - if only "Marty" would have trimmed the fat to find it.

Telling the real-life story (with some conjecture and fabrications), THE IRISHMAN tells the tale of...well...Irishman Frank Sheeran (Robert DeNiro) a working stiff who rises in the ranks of mobster Russell Buffalino (Joe Pesci) to be one of his chief enforcers and the personal bodyguard to Jimmy Hoffa (Al Paciino).

In the lead, DeNiro commands the screen like the DeNiro of old. His Frank Sheeran is menacing, razor-focused on his objectives. You never question Frank's loyalties and his ability to keep silent. DeNiro shows this by be being silent for a good part of this film, even though he is on screen for most of it. He is a commanding force that requires that we pay attention to him.

It was good to see Pesci back onscreen as Russell Buffalino. His mob boss is pragmatic, making decisions sternly and expecting his people to follow them, no questions asked. His presence on the screen is almost as commanding as DeNiro's and I wouldn't be surprised to see DeNiro (Best Actor) and Pesci (Best Supporting Actor) be in the mix come Oscar time.

In lesser, (almost cameo), roles - but faring very well - is a "who's who" of character actors, Harvey Keitel (who I would have LOVED to have seen much, much more in this film), Ray Romano, Bobby Canavale, Jesse Pleimens and Anna Paquin, I'm sure all jumped at the chance to appear - however briefly - in a Scorsese mob epic.

Faring less well in this film is Al Pacio as Jimmy Hoffa. He is back to his "yelling Al Pacino" ways of films like SCENT OF A WOMAN. His Hoffa is pretty one note and, consequently, his scenes with DeNiro are ineffective mostly because Pacino is chewing up the scenery (and yelling) while DeNiro is sitting silent and staring and listening to Pacino. This was a major disappointment for me, but (fortunately), Hoffa is in only about 1/3 of this long film, so while it hampered my enjoyment of the film, it didn't ruin it.

Credit (and blame) for all of this goes to master Director Martin Scorsese who has mined these waters more successfully in CASINO, THE DEPARTED and GOODFELLAS (his best film, IMO). This film is a loving pastiche to these types of films and a bygone era - and he chose to make it for NETFLIX for he wanted to make a sprawling epic and take his time in telling the story he wanted to tell. This is evidenced in the 3 1/2 hour length of this film, which if filled with long tracking shots set to a backdrop of Italian crooners singing old standards. It's a throwback to a different time and place, one that these players know well.

Scorsese has stated the he only decided to make this film because the "de-aging" software the he used to make DeNiro and Pesci look 30 years younger was "good enough" to use. And I would agree with that statement. The de-aging of these 2 (and others) is "good enough", in some scenes I forgot I was watching a de-aged DeNiro and Pesci, while in some other scenes, I could spot the trick. Again, it was "good enough" and not distracting (unless you were looking to make it distracting, then you probably found what you were looking for).

But for me - a fan of these types of films, I was not disappointed. It was about what I expected it to be. If you were looking for something different and new, look elsewhere, you will be disappointed.

Letter Grade: B+


8 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(OfMarquis)
  
Warcross
Warcross
Marie Lu | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
7
8.3 (17 Ratings)
Book Rating
Decent characters (2 more)
Plot
Pacing
YA formula (2 more)
Predictable
Not enough of the game
YA VR fun
I really enjoyed this book, as VR stories are some of my favorite types and rarely done well. This one was done well enough but suffered the large YA pitfall of there would be no story had people actually communicated with each other.
       The story follows Emika, a scrappy teen living in the slums of (I think New York). As YA books tend to do, she is a normal, poor, orphan girl, who happens to be able to afford to dye her hair rainbow, and oh, I forgot to mention, very good at hacking. The world is fully submerged into the Nuerolink, which are AR/VR glasses almost everyone has, that handle the internet, gaming worlds, infrastructure etc etc. The most popular aspect is a game on the Nuerolink called Warcross, a rather simple Team vs Team capture the flag with power-ups and battling. Football move over, Warcross is where it's at. Because the nuerolink is so ingrained into society, a seedy underbelly of gambling and dark web has cropped up, and Emika makes her pennies as a bounty hunter for people who gamble in Warcross games. On the eve of the Opening of the biggest Warcross Tournament of the year (which takes up like... 6 months of the year...) Emika is being threatened with eviction, failed to get a bounty that would have fixed her situation. So as far as YA tropes go we can check off "ordinary, but special girl of poor circumstances".
     Emika and her roommate, even though they are facing a looming eviction, log into the neurolink to experience the opening day ceremony. This is where Lu really introduces the ability of the nuerolink and where we can underline the "special" aspect of our tropey lead, as she somehow hacks herself into the opening game ceremony, revealing herself to the world. This is probably a good place to point out that hacking in this book is pretty much just Emika saying "I hacked into this thing" and little more than that. She runs a program here and there, that always does what she wants. Honestly as the story progresses I forget that she hacks, but the book doesn't let you forget that she's "super good at it".
   Now fearing more than just eviction, but fearing for her freedom as she just did something very illegal, Emika is surprised when her world is turned upside down and she's spirited away by the Nuerolink creator to Tokyo. The creator being hot boy Hideo, whom she has been just ever so obsessed with since she was a kid, and much to her fantasies, he thinks she is special and needs her hacker expertise to track down someone that's been messing with the code in the game. BUT she needs to do it from within the game. So now she's going to be in the big game of the year as a player, a spy, and a hacker. Somehow juggling the investigation and playing a game professionally that she's the only kind of dabbled in (as far as we know, YA spoiler alert, she's super good at it).
    I know I sound snarky, and like I didn't like the book, but I did. once you just accept the YA formula and that this book will be full of it, you can just lean back an enjoy the ride. Emika finds herself in a deep plot that involves other players, the dark web, and the ghosts of Hideo's past. Of course because YA Hideo is just smitten with Emika from the get go. She's great at the game, everyone acknowledges how special she is, but the big YA factor I struggled with over looking was the utter lack of communication. This whole book could've ended in a few chapters had the characters just communicated with each other. But there was always some kind of personal justification for why they couldn't just talk to each other.
   I found the game world to be well thought out and interesting, just unfortunately it didn't get nearly as much page time as I'd like. I get that the story is about the scheme around the game, and not the game, but Lu introduced her as a player so I wanted more. I wanted more intereaction with her teammates, more development. She never felt like she was part of the group to me, which made it harder to believe in the second book when they all go out of their way to help her. The romance with Hideo was heavy-handed but cute, so I didn't mind it. But I kept finding myself wanting more gameplay. It's called Warcross for goodness sake.
   One thing I have to commend Lu on is that it has a decent number of legitimate twists. Twists that made me actually gasp once or twice. That kept me intrigued and made me read it in a day. But unfortunately, while a fun little romp, the story's reliance on bad communication and YA tropes to advance the plot made the book lack a soul that really could take the story to the next level. I didn't care too much about anyone. I just wanted answers more than anything. But instead, we get a mysterious bad guy being cryptic, even though if he wasn't cryptic we could have avoided a lot and Emika always winning cause she's special. Though most of the information she gets is freely given to her and had nothing to do with her skills as a hacker.
  When my boyfriend asked me if I liked it, I shrugged and said "yea it was fun, can we go get the second book". But I didn't have the overwhelming desire to tell him the plot or anything else as I do with books that truly resonate with me. To be fair when I did attempt to describe it the soap opera YA aspect seemed glaring and he just rolled his eyes.
  Absolutely worth a read, especially if you enjoy this genre. But just don't go in expecting it to be special, it follows the YA formula to a T.
  
Book of Blood (2008)
Book of Blood (2008)
2008 | Horror
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
"The dead have highways. Highways that lead to intersections and intersections that spill into our world. And if you find yourself at one of those intersections, you should stop and you should listen because the dead have stories to tell."

Mary Florescu, writer, teacher, and overall expert of the paranormal, is still looking for the distinct evidence of supernatural occurences. A house catches her eye that has been on the market since the daughter of the couple living there before had been murdered. It's said the original homeowner was thrown against the wall by an invisible force so hard that shards of his broken bones pierced his lungs and he choked to death on his own blood. During each incident, the message, "Don't mock us," was found written in blood on the closet doors. Mary decides to move into the house to find proof of the supernatural, bringing an audio/video technician, Reg Fuller, to help document anything they find. A new student, Simon McNeal, transfers into Mary's class. He seems to have a special gift related to the paranormal and is brought into the house to help work with Mary and Reg on the project. Strange occurences seem to begin immediately and only get more violent as they occur. But as things progress, the relationship between Mary and Simon turns physical and suspicious evidence is found in Simon's bag that point to him being a fake. Is the house actually "haunted," or is Simon playing everyone for a fool?

I'm a fairly big fan of Clive Barker's work. I've loved the books and stories (Books of Blood Vol. 1-3, Mister B. Gone, The Hellbound Heart) of his that I've read and several of his films (Hellraiser, Midnight Meat Train) are some of the best the horror genre has to offer. Midnight Meat Train was probably the best horror film to come out of last year, so my expectations were high when I heard about this film and saw the trailer. This was one of my most anticipated horror films of the year even though it seemed to get the short end of the stick with its release much like what happened with Midnight Meat Train. I can tell you that Book of Blood is a good watch, but it may not be what you're expecting.

Book of Blood has its bloody moments, but it's not an all out gorefest. It's actually more of a supernatural thriller. The director, John Harrison, described the film as being more along the lines of films like The Others and The Orphanage. It relies more on mood and atmosphere rather than blood and guts splattering all over your face, which isn't a bad thing at all if done correctly. Book of Blood almost pulls that aspect of the film flawlessly. I say, "almost," because certain lines of dialogue ("I promise we will listen and I will tell your stories to the world.") and a few of the things that happened in the final act of the film (steel briefcase...it'll make sense when you see it) seem a bit cheesy, but may sit better with me on repeat viewings.

The film actually reminded me of Hellraiser quite a bit throughout the film. Other than Doug Bradley's brief cameo (if you blink, you'll probably miss him), the opening scene of when Reg and Mary go into the room where everything happened just reminds me of Frank staying in the attic in Hellraiser. Hellraiser is one of my favorite horror films, so the brief nod to the film (whether intentional or not) was very welcome to me.

My main concern with Book of Blood was how they were going to turn a short story that was originally just an introduction to the actual Books of Blood by Clive Barker into a full length film. The concern wound up being for nothing as Book of Blood met nearly all of my expectations and was extremely faithful to the original material while bringing in elements from another one of his stories called, "On Jerusalem Street." The story fleshes out nicely and the acting is good, for the most part. I think the perfectionist in me kept me from rating this any higher, but I'd definitely recommend it as it's a worthy addition to any avid horror movie enthusiast's collection.
  
SO
Stars Over Sunset Boulevard
10
9.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
To what lengths would you go to make your deepest desires come true? For Audrey Duvall and Violet Mayfield, the lines of reason are blurred. Will the bond of true friendship be enough to hold them together?

A hat is found in a vintage boutique in Los Angeles 2012. It is unmistakably Scarlett's green curtain hat from Gone With the Wind. But how did it end up there? In 1938 Violet leaves home and travels to California and gets a job as a secretary at a movie studio. With high hopes of starting a new life she meets Audrey Duvall, a fellow secretary who was once rising star in Hollywood. As the filming for Gone With the Wind commences both Audrey and Violet find themselves in places they never thought imaginable. And when the infamous curtain hat goes missing, more than one person's future is at stake. Will Violet finally get the family that she dreamed about for so long? Will Audrey finally make her big break? And what will they sacrifice to see it all come to pass? Through the joys and the heartbreak, they are always there for each other. We know that love comes in many forms, and that ultimately, love conquerors all.

There is something about Susan Meissner's books that have me completely enraptured from the start. Her ability to paint pictures in my mind is outstanding. The history and colorful detail is captivating. Gone With the Wind has always been a favorite of mine, and I enjoyed the creative liberties of the setting! This story is a wonderful reminder to us that even when we do things to protect others, there are consequences to face. In my opinion, truth and honesty are always the best route to take. A quote from my High School Drama teacher that has always stuck with me is: "Can we be brave? Will we be brave? We MUST be brave for life requires it." It doesn't matter if we are making curtains into a dress to beg a man for money. Or your child undergoing a bone marrow transplant at 9 weeks old. Or speaking the truth to someone you love. Life requires us to be brave on a daily basis. But we are never alone. We never have to walk through the shadows on our own. Whether it is a friend, sister, mother or auntie, reach out for support. Because they most likely need you, just as much as you need them. I highly recommend Stars Over Sunset Boulevard!It will make you cry, laugh out loud and be truly thankful for the loved ones that surround you. Now I am off to curl up in a warm blanket, drink some tea and watch Gone With the Wind.

I received a free digital copy of Stars Over Sunset Boulevard from Penguin Group through NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
  
If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie Iā€™ve ever walked out of. I havenā€™t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. Thatā€™s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that sheā€™s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, sheā€™s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether itā€™s really even worth it to endure lifeā€™s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding ā€œyes!ā€, then like me, youā€™ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didnā€™t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So letā€™s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because thatā€™s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasnā€™t actually experienced any of that at all. Sheā€™s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror canā€™t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldnā€™t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? Thatā€™s what I think, though Iā€™ll admit itā€™s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, itā€™s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isnā€™t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasnā€™t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, Iā€™d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think itā€™s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers itā€™s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. ā€œSorry your dad died, Timmy. If you canā€™t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well thatā€™s okay with us. We understand and we wonā€™t judge!ā€ Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? ā€œBad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!ā€ Is that really what theyā€™re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesnā€™t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that itā€™s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesnā€™t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasnā€™t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe sheā€™ll wish she was dead. Or maybe sheā€™ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and sheā€™ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. Itā€™s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stayā€™s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adamā€™s mostly just a jerk that she shouldnā€™t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that itā€™s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. Itā€™s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adamā€™s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adamā€™s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adamā€™s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet sheā€™s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but itā€™s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, weā€™re supposed to think heā€™s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when heā€™s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, Iā€™d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie Iā€™ve ever walked out of. I havenā€™t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the filmā€™s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the filmā€™s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever sheā€™s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really donā€™t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, whatā€™s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I donā€™t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While Iā€™ve heard a lot of praise about the filmā€™s soundtrack, I thought Adamā€™s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, ā€œIā€™ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.ā€ Itā€™s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adamā€™s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, Iā€™d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope itā€™s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)