The story perfectly balances between melodrama and feel good comedy (1 more)
Kristin Scott-Thomas and Sharon Horgan work fabulously together
The trailer. Slight spoiler and doesn't get across how good this is. (0 more)
Bound to grab the grey pound and be a huge UK success
I must admit that I was a bit of a drag-along to this one. The trailer excited me not.... one.... bit. Sentimental film. Dull story. Wrong demographic. No, no, no. But... in this case I am very happy to be proved wrong, wrong, wrong.
True that I didn't sit inthe ideal demographic for this movie. 90% ofthe audience at the UK premiere showing I attended last night were female and older that me. This is a movie to turn the blue-rinse crowd out in DROVES! Because the - inherently British - story is engaging and rewarding from start to finish.
Loosely based on the true story, it's 2010 and a regiment of husbands (and at least one wife.... nice to see an all female marriage featured) are dispatched from the fictional "Flitcroft Barracks" to Afghanistan on a tour ofduty. Thereafter every ring at the door by a friend spells mild panic ; every thoughtless call from an accident-chaser induces hypertension.
Trying to take their minds off there loved ones, Colonel's wife Kate (Kristin Scott Thomas) muscles in on theinsipid entertainment plans of Lisa (Sharon Horgan) in organising a singing group. Lisa thinks "girls just wanna have fun"; Kate thinks they should be training as a proper choir. Sparks fly.
But against all the odds, the women progressively improve until they get the chance to present their talents to an unaware nation.
My wife summed up in one word why this movie is so good...... "balance". The movie covers topics of fear, grief, social conflict, family conflict and uplifting joy. One step off the tightrope could have spelled disaster. But director Peter Cattaneo, of "Full Monty" fame, through the expert script of Roseanne Flynn and Rachel Tunnard, walks that line with perfect balance. It never feels overly melodramatic; never feels a light piece of superficial fluff either.
And when "the performance" happens, you will be hard pushed not to need a tissue or two..... I certainly succumbed to the emotion ofthe moment.
At the core ofthe story are the perfectly cast duo of Kristin Scott Thomas and Sharon Horgan. With just a handful ofintroductory lines, you quickly get the measure of Kate's character, without ever knowing the story behind the icy and brittle facade. The conflict between her and the fun-loving egalitarian Lisa is writ large. What's nice here is that you are never totally sure who's side ofthe argument you are on. It is easy to side with Lisa at the start ofthe film, but as you learn more and particularly after a particularly careless act by Lisa towards the end ofthe film, your sympathies change.
The rest ofthe excellent ensemble cast also work naturally together, with Emma Lowndes as Annie and Amy James-Kelly as the newly married Sarah being particularly impressive.This feels like a group of actors who were brought together to film a story and bonded as friends inthe process. You end up caring a great deal for what happens to them
Although the script is based on the true story ofthe military wives it diverges significantly from what actually happens intheinterests of an engaging story. Choirmaster Gareth Malone was, of course, actively involved inthe true story as a part of a TV programme, but none of that is referenced inthe movie. But that doesn't remotely impinge on your enjoyment ofthe movie for one second.
In particular, a sub-story about the long-term effects of grief is particularly well handled, with 'Dave' turning from being a passive to an active participant inthe story at a key moment.
It's that depressing time ofthe year when everyone is fed up of rain, wind and dripping noses. It's a time of year when you look for some uplifting entertainment.... people surely watch "Death in Paradise" for the sun rather than the stories? Ladies - and the odd gentleman - I give you "Military Wives". It's not bloody Shakespeare. But if this doesn't make you feel uplifted and better about the world, then I will dutifully kiss the regimental goat.
Although I’m undoubtedly dating myself by admitting this, I can finally remember playing Castle Wolfenstein and Return to Castle Wolfensteininthe 80s on an Apple IIe computer. Highly innovative for its time the game helped spawn the rise ofthe first-person shooter when it reemerged inthe 90s and has had successful returns approximately every few years since. Machine Games working with the Id Tech 5 engine via Bethesda/Zenimax has given gamers a very graphically impressive new entry into the series called Wolfenstein: The New Order.
Once again playing as BJ Blazkowicz, players will take on the darkest forces that the Nazi’s can unleash and in a very interesting new twist, the game starts in World War II and then ventures to 1960 where BJ is recovering from an injury and awakens from a coma to a world where the Nazis have unleashed atomic weapons on the United States and have won the war.
BJ must gather up his strength and locate the few remaining resistance fighters left alive to mount a counter attack to save the day. While this sounds simple enough, it is anything but as the legions of adversaries in your way are daunting and challenging.
Not only are there the standard Nazi goons, but there are mechanized units that are clad in armor and do huge amounts of damage with their weapons as well as plenty of nasty characters along the way for you to deal with.
Thankfully to go with your hate ofthe Nazis you have an impressive arsenal including knives, pistols, shotguns, machine guns, energy weapons, Tesla grenades, and a sniper rifle, many of which can be dual wielded to get that extra ounce of carnage.
There are also gun emplacements which can be manned to mow down the hordes or can be detached to serve as a heavy hitter even though your mobility is greatly reduced. The game is very hardcore in its content as sex, language, and graphic violence are the norm but when you consider locales ranging from concentration camps to battlefield strongholds are the norm, this is not a tea and cookies type of game.
There is plenty to like about the game from the great looking graphics to the characters and storyline and I really enjoyed the moon level ofthe game complete with my space suit and walk in reduced gravity with muffled sound.
That being said, there are a few things that became frustrating to me from time to time. First off, the game does have a few timed jumps and puzzles including one early inthe game. Playing on a PC, it was a pain to set the keys the way that was best to do said jumps yet maintainthe settings I wanted for the rest ofthe game.
If I wanted timed jumps to and from platforms, I would fire up the Wii U and load up something inthe Donkey Kong or Mario line, as in a game of this type, want the action to flow without having to make a leap in order to advance the story.
I could also see theinfluence of Call ofDuty on games of this type as there were the levels of wave after wave coming at you as well as the stealth missions and checkpoint save system. All of which have become all too standard in this era of consoles. I miss the day when I could save my progress at any point in a game.
This would have been nice as the game does have some very tough challenges but thankfully players can adjust their skill level as they go so if they become overly frustrated they can lower the difficulty and play on.
The game has a great energy weapon with a dual use cutting tool which allowed me to cut through vents and chains, and the use of metal scraps to increase your armor was a nice throwback to the earlier games inthe series.
I really admired how the designers took the best parts ofthe series yet improved the graphics and told a story that was darker and more engaging than ever before.
The game does not have a multiplay feature which is a disappointment as I had hoped to get online with the amazing maps and weapons ofthe game, but who knows what the future will hold.
With over 20 hours of gameplay, there is much that I liked about the game and upon completion I was able to overlook many ofthe frustrations I had in game.
The ending is open to interpretations so who knows what the future ofthe series will be, but I think that we have not seen the last ofthe series, and I look forward to more in a few years.
The alleged acting swan-song of Daniel Day-Lewis (“Lincoln“) sees him deliver a brilliantly intense portrayal of a maestro in his craft with all the quirks and egotistical faults that come with that position.
Reynolds Woodcock is the craftsman behind a world-renowned 1950’s fashion house, in demand from the elite classes and even royalty. He has a magnetic personality, is overtly self-confident, obsessive, a cruel bully and treats his girlfriends as chattels that he can tire of and dismiss from his life without a backward glance. Trying to keep the business and Reynolds on track, with ruthless efficiency, is his sister Cyril (Leslie Manville, “Maleficent“).
Looking for his next conquest during a trip to his seaside residence, he reels in blushing young waitress Alma (Vicky Krieps, “The Colony”). But he gets more than he bargains for.
This is a really exquisite and gentle film. Aside from some dubious fungi-related practices, there is no violence, no sex and – aside from about half a dozen well-chosen F-words – limited swearing (of which more below). This is a study ofthe developing relationship between the two protagonists, with little inthe way of plot. Sounds dull? Far from it. This is two hours that flew by.
What it also features is (yet) another example of extremely strong women asserting their power. A scene (well trailed in Manville’s award snippets) where Cyril firmly puts Reynolds back in his box is brilliant: a real turning of tables with Woodcock meekly falling into line. And Alma makes for an incredibly rich and complicated character, one ofthe most interesting female roles I’ve seen this year so far.
It’s a stellar acting performance from Day-Lewis, and while Oldman fully deserves all of his award kudos for “Darkest Hour”, Day-Lewis delivers the goods without any ofthe make-up. It feels like Day-Lewis is a long way down the betting odds this year because “he always gets one”. He certainly gets my vote ahead of all ofthe other three nominees.
Kreips – not an actress I know – also brilliantly holds her own, and if it wasn’t such a strong female field this year she could well have been nominated.
Also worthy of note is the pervasive piano score by (suprisingly) Radiohead’s Jonny Greenwood. It’s really lovely and counterpoints the rest ofthe classical score nicely. Its BAFTA and Oscar nominations are both well deserved (though I would expect the Oscar to follow the BAFTA steer with “The Shape of Water“).
All in all, this is a real tour de force by writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson (“Inherent Vice”, “There Will Be Blood”). How much I enjoyed this film was a surprise to me, since I have no interest inthe “fashion industry” (as my family will no doubt be quick to point out!) and I went to see this more out of ‘duty’ based on its Oscar buzz than because I really wanted to see it. The big curiosity is why exactly the BBFC decided that this film was worthy of a 15 certificate rather than a 12A. Their comments on the film say “There is strong language (‘f**k’), as well as milder terms including ‘bloody’ and ‘hell’. Other issues include mild sex references and scenes of emotional upset. In one scene, a woman’s nipples are visible through her slip while she is measured for a dress.” For a 12A, the board say “The use of strong language (for example, ‘f***’) must be infrequent”. I didn’t count the f-words… but as I said I don’t think it amounts to more than a half-dozen. Is that “frequent”? And – SHOCK, HORROR… visible covered nipples you say?! Lock up your teenagers! When you look at the gentleness of this film versus the violence within “Black Panther”, you have to question this disparity.
Cold Case Detective Lauren Riley is back on the job after being stabbed inthe line ofduty. She and her partner, Shane Reese, find themselves investigating a body dumped inthe woods inthe exact same site as a victim from one of Lauren's previous cases. She quickly recognizes the tie to David Spencer, a clever kid whom Lauren helped get off on a murder charge while she was working as a Private Investigator. Once he was acquitted, Lauren realized he was a cold-blooded psychopath, and she's been haunted by it (and him) ever since. Lauren is put on a Task Force investigating the killing--and the unsolved murders of two cops--but she quickly realizes she may be the only one who can stop David, for once and for all.
I really like the character of Lauren Riley--she's a tough yet vulnerable cop who knows her stuff, and I've been following her since the beginning of this series. This book tied up some things, but left others hanging, and I have to admit, I hope there is a book four out there? I also have to say, to prove my devotion to Lauren, my ARC copy had issues with the "f"s inthe book (e.g. Sheriff = Sheri; office = offce; files = les, etc.) and none ofthe text messages were inthere, and I still read it, because I needed to know what was happening to Lauren. A final copy will be fine--just pointing out how much I care about these characters!
We have a small cast here, but do get some new blood, mainly inthe form ofthe task force gents. Two, of course, suspect Lauren for the cop killings that happened inthe second novel, but one, Jack Nolan, seems to be a good guy. Poor Lauren, she can't catch a break. I would mention that this book will make more sense if you've read the first two. Redmond explains things, but the backstory is easier to comprehend (and those first two books are good). Still, don't let that scare you away from this one.
These cases are personal for Lauren, and I found some of this book stressful, as I care about her and Reese, and I was worried about them both! If you're less invested, you may not be as concerned. No matter what, it's an interesting book--we think we know our suspect (David), but we're never quite sure, and there's a lot of angst and intrigue in trying to track him down. I always enjoy how the city of Buffalo is almost another character inthese books, and it's very clear that Redmond knows her police procedures.
"She'd been waging a one-person war against him, and she was losing. She had to take this further before anyone else got hurt."
Overall, I definitely recommend this one, especially if you've read the earlier books, enjoy a good police procedural, or are on the hunt for a strong female protagonist. Redmond's stories are always interesting and sure to suck you in. 4 stars.
A Timeless Classic: Casablanca - A 10/10 Masterpiece
Few films manage to withstand the test of time quite like Casablanca. Released in 1942, this cinematic gem not only defines its era but also transcends it, continuing to captivate audiences decades later. Directed by Michael Curtiz and featuring unforgettable performances by Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, Casablanca is a rare film that combines stellar storytelling, iconic performances, and a profound emotional core into an unparalleled movie experience.
What makes Casablanca truly extraordinary is its perfect balance ofintimate romance and global stakes. Set during World War II inthe Moroccan city of Casablanca, the story revolves around Rick Blaine (Bogart), a cynical American expatriate who runs a nightclub, and Ilsa Lund (Bergman), the woman who once broke his heart. Their unexpected reunion is fraught with unresolved emotions and set against the backdrop of political intrigue, resistance efforts, and the shadow of Nazi oppression. It’s not just a love story—it’s a story of sacrifice, morality, and the search for meaning in chaotic times.
Humphrey Bogart, known for his tough-guy persona, delivers a nuanced and deeply human performance as Rick. His dry wit, vulnerability, and quiet heroism make Rick one of cinema’s most iconic characters. Bogart effortlessly conveys the tension between Rick’s outward indifference and his inner turmoil, making his journey from apathy to sacrifice profoundly moving. Opposite him, Ingrid Bergman is luminous as Ilsa. Her portrayal is layered with strength, grace, and a quiet sadness that makes her character unforgettable. The chemistry between Bogart and Bergman is electric, their unspoken longing resonating in every glance and line of dialogue.
The supporting cast is equally brilliant. Claude Rains as the charmingly corrupt Captain Renault steals nearly every scene he’s in with his biting humor and moral ambiguity. Paul Henreid’s portrayal of Victor Laszlo, the noble resistance leader, adds gravitas to the story, while Sydney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre deliver memorable turns as colorful figures in Casablanca’s shadowy underworld. Every character, no matter how small their role, feels fully realized and essential to the tapestry ofthe story.
What elevates Casablanca to legendary status, however, is its script. Few films boast dialogue as sharp and iconic, with lines like “Here’s looking at you, kid,” and “We’ll always have Paris” becoming ingrained in pop culture. The screenplay, penned by Julius and Philip Epstein and Howard Koch, is a masterclass in storytelling, seamlessly blending romance, suspense, and humor. Each scene serves a purpose, driving the plot forward while deepening the emotional stakes.
Max Steiner’s score is another standout element, with the recurring use of “As Time Goes By” becoming as timeless as the film itself. The music weaves through the narrative, underscoring moments of joy, heartbreak, and tension with haunting beauty.
But perhaps the most remarkable aspect of Casablanca is its ability to resonate on multiple levels. It’s a sweeping romance, a gripping war drama, and a meditation on sacrifice and duty, all rolled into one. Its themes remain universal, its characters relatable, and its emotional impact undiminished by time.
In a world filled with good movies and great movies, Casablanca stands apart as a perfect one. It’s not just a film—it’s an experience, a masterpiece that speaks to the heart and soul. For that, it earns a well-deserved 10/10.
Visceral, brilliant and a far from relaxing evening at the movies.
It's already won Best Film at the Golden Globes, and seems set for Oscar glory too. Is Sam Mendes's WW1 epic any good?
"The Man is the Mission" - The similarities with the storyline of Spielberg's "Saving Private Ryan" are evident. Lance Corporal Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman) has a brother serving in another battalion of 1,600 men under the command of Colonel Mackenzie (Benedict Cumberbatch). The problem is that they are walking into a trap and are about to be slaughtered when they go over the top at dawn. General Erinmore (Colin Firth) picks Blake and his mate Lance Corporal Will Schofield (George MacKay) to run a dangerous mission to cross no-mans land, break through the German lines and get the message to Mackenzie to call the attack off.
Famously, the movie uses the "Rope" / "Birdman" technique of appearing to film the action as a single continuous take. This adds enormously to the tension as the duo proceed into danger. Aside from a chance meeting with a French foster mother (Claire Duburcq), the tension is maintained at 110% for the film's duration. Which makes for an exhausting watch! Congratulations by the way to Ms Duburcq for bagging the one female role inthe whole movie! This is the anti-dote to the female-heavy movies of 2019!
This is a movie you MUST go to see inthe cinema. A star ofthe show is Roger Deakins' cinematography which is just glorious to look at. The hell-holes (literally) of no-mans land are one thing, but then we get the sweeping landscapes ofthe green french countryside (actually Wiltshire, just a few miles from where I live!). But the really jaw-dropping cinematography for me came in a flare-lit ruined French town. The effect of a raging fire inthe distance and the constantly shifting shadows ofthe ruins is truly spectacular.
All of this is helped by a great score by Thomas Newman, particularly at this moment inthe film. The music suits the action perfectly, which is all you can ask for from a score.
I first noticed George MacKay in one ofthe lead roles inthe Proclaimers musical "Sunshine on Leith" and then againin "Pride": both relatively low-key British films. Here he is catapulted onto the global blockbuster stage, and has nowhere to hide being on-screen literally for the whole running time (and he is running!). He doesn't disappoint: the performance is a stellar one and he holds the drama together.
He's got good support though: small but important supporting roles come from not only Firth and Cumberbatch but also Daniel ("Line ofDuty") Mays; Andrew ("Kneel!") Scott; Adrian ("Killing Eve") Scarborough and Richard Madden. But my favourite was a quietly strong (no pun intended) from Mark Strong as a friendly captain with good advice for our hero.
Is the single-shot idea a gimmick? Perhaps. But it is extremely effective at maintaining the momentum. Perhaps to a degree it is a bit of a distraction, since I was constantly looking for the cuts (and very clever they are too). But it is undeniably a marvelous piece of film-making. The choreography involved with getting all of those actors and extras moving in unison for the length of some of those takes would make even Busby Berkeley sweat!
There are also some truly extraordinary action shots: a barn scene (and its dramatic aftermath) is one ofthe most incredible bits of film-making I've seen not just this year (that's not saying much!) but also last year.
The movie is not for the faint-hearted, with some truly gruesome scenes that stick inthe mind afterwards. The illustrious Mrs Movie Man spent most ofthe movie with her hands over her eyes! But in general, this feels authentic. My own grandfather spent 3 days and nights lying wounded inthe French mud, before being rescued... by the Germans. War is hell, and the film reflects that.
Director Sam Mendes - also a Golden Globe winner - only goes a bit Hollywood at one point: a musical interlude where an exhausted Schofield creeps into camp (what? no guards?) and listens to a wistful acappella. The realism felt like it went from 10/10 to 7/10.
This is a top-class piece of movie-making and deserves all its award success. I went in with a bit of an "Oscar-bait" attitude; the one-take gimmick peaking my interest but also stoking my cynicism. Was this to be just a technically fabulous movie that would winthe awards but not really entertain? But my cynicism was unfounded. It's a gripping watch and a truly memorable movie.
See it. See it at the cinema. And see it at a cinema with as big a screen and with as great a sound system as possible!
“And the Oscar goes to”… (or should go to)… “Dame Emma Thompson”.
Given my last review was for “The Equalizer 2“, where Denzel was judge, jury and executioner, it’s a nice seque that this film follows the life of a senior judge in London’s Law Courts: trying to do the justice job, but inthe right way!
Judge Maye (Thompson) is a childless wife to her loving husband Jack (Tucci), but is also a workaholic. This is driving the long-term couple to the point ofinfidelity: a fact the ever-focused Fiona – whose life, to her, probably feels to be in a perfect if selfish equilibrium – is oblivious to. With Fiona’s intense but comfortable world about to cave in around her, her increasing stress is not helped by the latest case she is working on: one where Adam ( Fionn Whitehead from “Dunkirk“), a Jehovah’s Witness boy and a minor, is refusing on religious grounds the blood transfusion he desperately needs to fight his leukaemia. Fiona’s decisions inthe months ahead go much further than a simple judgement on the case.
Two acting giants – one born in London; one born in New York – tower over this Ian McEwan adaptation like leviathons. I bandy around the phrase “national treasure” a lot inthese reviews but, if there was a league table of national treasures, Emma Thompson would qualify for the Champion’s League every season. Here she is simply breathtakingly powerful inthe lead role of Judge Fiona Maye, exhibiting such extremes of emotion that you would like to think that an Oscar nomination would be assured. (However, before I run out and put a £10 bet on her to win, the film is such a small British film that unfortunately both a nomination and a win seem unlikely! THIS IS A CRIME! So I have added the tag #OscarBuzz to this post…. please share and lobby people, lobby! Perhaps at the very least we can hope for some BAFTA recognition).
Sometimes a masterly lead performance can make a co-star performance seem unbalanced, but no such danger here. Stanley Tucci makes a perfect acting foil for Thompson: if he were a wine he would be described as “exasperation, frustration, compassion with strong notes of respect”. And he carries it off with perfection.
This is an incredibly intelligent film, working on so many different levels and subject to so much interpretation. Fiona’s feelings for the troubled teenager feel more maternal than sexual, but when those feelings become returned and escalate the whole piece develops a queasily oedipal quality. Many films have focused on illicit attractions between teacher and pupil, but here lies a new variation, with Maye fighting against her best professional insticts to ‘do the right thing’. “I’m frightened of myself” she eventually wails to a colleague.
In his opening hospital scenes*, Adam seems completely other-wordly compared to a typical teen and this comes across as utterly false. That is, until you consider the oddness of his family background and Jehovah’s Witness upbringing. As such, the film just about gets away with it. Whitehead does a good job with a difficult role. (*It took my wife to point out – after the film, thank goodness – the similarities between this hospital scene and a famous guitar-playing scene in “Airplane” at which I dissolved into guffaws!).
If you’ve been in a court, you’ll know that there is something regal and magical about a judge in full regalia entering a packed courtroom. So it’s unusual to see the view from the other side ofthe door… a non-descript office corridor and a non-descript door. Helping the judge on this side ofthe door is her PA Nigel, played by the brilliant Jason Watkins: a TV regular (e.g. “Line ofDuty”, “W1A”) but seen far less at the movies.
As a story of obsessive fixation, it borders on McEwan’s disturbing earlier work “Enduring Love”. And it has the potential to go in lots ofinteresting directions as a sort of bonkers platonic love triangle (“He wants to live with US?” splutters Tucci). Where the story does end up going was not particularly to my liking, and a melodramatic concert scene was – for me – a little overdone. However it does give rise to a scene (the ‘sopping wet’ scene) that shows Thompson at her most brilliant: if she DID get Oscar or BAFTA nominated then this will be her pre-announcement snippet.
It’s a great film for showcasing acting talent, but beware: it’s not got a “lot of laffs”. As such it’s very much a “Father Ted film” that takes a while to recover from.
What is it about fantasy novels that makes them so difficult to translate effectively to the silver screen? It’s not impossible – J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series and Peter Jackson’s The Lord ofthe Rings adaptations are proof that it can be done. More often than not, however, the result is as limp and truncated as Kenneth Branagh’s Artemis Fowl – a few standout moments set adrift in a sea of underdeveloped characters, incomplete backstory elements, and abbreviated world building. Although the problem lies primarily inthe difficulties associated with condensing an epic tale into a short-ish movie, the lack of elegance with which that is accomplished makes Artemis Fowl a failure for anyone hoping for the next great fantasy film.
The treatment accorded to Artemis Fowl (the movie condenses elements from the first two volumes of an eight-novel cycle into a single film) recalls a Disney misfire from more than three decades ago. Although The Black Cauldron was animated, it suffered from many ofthe same problems evident in Artemis Fowl: an oversimplification ofthe backstory, a rushed narrative with poorly realized characters, and a overall lack of faithfulness to the source material. The Black Cauldron worked better because it at least had a clean ending. Artemis Fowl suffers by trying to both provide a credible stopping point (in case there are no additional films) and offering a lead-in to additional adventures (in case there are additional films).
Inthe books, 12-year old Artemis (played by Ferdia Shaw, the grandson of Robert Shaw) is presented as an anti-hero (although, over the course ofthe saga, his villainous attributes fade to be replaced by heroic ones). Here, he’s more of a misunderstood boy-genius whose role as the protagonist is never in question. All of his edges have been smoothed out. The story focuses on Artemis’ efforts to locate and rescue his father, Artemis Fowl Sr. (Colin Farrell), an infamous art thief who has been kidnapped by the twisted evil fairy Opal Koboi. Her ransom for releasing him is that Artemis must locate and obtain a powerful McGuffin. He is joined in his efforts by Lower Elements Police (LEP) fairy police officer Holly Short (Lara McDonnell), giant dwarf Mulch Diggums (Josh Gad), and strongman Domovoi Butler (Nonso Anozie).
Artemis Fowl diverges considerably from the two books that form its basis, Artemis Fowl and Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident. Although author Eoin Colfer reportedly “approved” the changes, they push the film into an alternate universe from the one occupied by the novels. Even with the pruning of subplots and condensation ofthe narrative, 100 minutes is too short to tell the story effectively. None ofthe characters are well-developed, including Artemis. The boy’s relationship with Holly Short evolves with whiplash-inducing rapidity – one moment, they’re enemies (actually, she’s his prisoner), the next they’re friends. The film’s frenetic pace might work for ADD viewers and preteens but there’s no time for world-building or anything more than the most basic exposition. As a result, Artemis Fowl feels rushed to the point of being exhausting and strangely confusing despite the relatively straightforward storyline.
Kenneth Branagh was undoubtedly selected to direct the film based on his success with two earlier Disney properties: the live-action Cinderella and Marvel’s Thor. Perhaps because Branagh had no input into the screenplay (which was completed before he came on board), the movie lacks the complex psychological qualities he normally brings to his films. Visually, Artemis Fowl is impressive. However, although the fairy world of Haven is beautifully rendered, it appears all-too-briefly. The film’s most impressive sequence, a throwdown with a seemingly invincible troll, is a standout by any definition, but it represents only about five minutes of screen time and there’s nothing else that comes close – not even the muted climax.
As is often the case, Branagh’s presence at the top results in some impressive names inthe cast. The young leads are newcomers – this is Ferdia Shaw’s first movie (and it shows – his performance is occasionally wooden) and Lara McDonnell’s third (she’s better, evidencing an indomitable pluckiness) – but the rest ofthe cast is populated with veterans. Josh Gad, another Disney regular, has the most openly comedic role ofthe film as Mulch Diggums. Colin Farrell is called on for limited duty as Artemis’ mostly-absent father. Nonso Anozie, who has a history with Branagh, plays Artemis’ protector and advisor. Finally, Judi Dench adds a dose of class as Holly’s no-nonsense boss.
It has taken Artemis Fowl nearly 20 years to traverse the route from page to screen and one senses that neither fans nor newcomers will be especially pleased with the end result. Recognizing that the film faced rough seas, Disney postponed the movie’s originally planned August 2019 release to May 2020 then, when the coronavirus made that impossible, the studio elected to shift the film to its Disney+ platform. Although partially a face-saving gesture (Artemis Fowl would likely have had a similar box office reception to Disney’s underwhelming 2018 release, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms), it at least allows the film to find a large audience in a low-pressure situation.
The bottom line seems to be that, while Disney has shown an aptitude for making many different kinds of movies, fantasy epics aren’t among them. This is one genre the Magic Kingdom should perhaps avoid, leaving such properties to studios that have shown better success (such as Warner Brothers). Artemis Fowl could have been the beginning of a movie franchise but, based on the first installment, it’s more likely a one-and-done outing. Disney can't quite get away from the John Carters can they?
Let me tell you a story about how I came to own Cubitos. My FLGS, which since moving to Tennessee is an hour away in Knoxville (Sci-Fi City), had great stock of this game a couple months ago. I would step in, browse around, and pass on picking up a copy since they seemed to have so many. Forward in time to a month ago, when I was ready to grab my own copy, they are sold out. WHAT. Well, I had to order a copy online from somewhere I don’t normally shop because my favorite online sellers were also out of stock. Then Christmas came and my brother gifted me a copy of Cubitos. So then I had two. Long story now short – I have a copy and that’s all that matters because Cubitos is amazing.
Cubitos is a push-your-luck, dice building, racing game for two to four players. In it, players have runners that will be moving around a crazy race track, and another runner who keeps track of fans (the manager maybe?), and the first player’s runner to cross the finish line will be the winner! Now, managing movement and special abilities is where the game REALLY is, and it all boils down to which special dice are purchased and used, and whether Lady Luck will find favor or not. It’s a wild ride, so prepare your runner and let’s go!
To setup, place out one ofthe double-sided Racetrack boards, along with the Fan Track board. Runners for each player are placed at the Starting Line on the Racetrack board, and the other on the bleachers ofthe Fan Track. Each player receives a color-coded Player Board and nine gray starting dice. They receive a Phase Token to keep track of each phase in a round, and the starting player receives the Start Player Die. Each dice box is placed around the boards with the dice on top. All corresponding cards for each die type is placed by the dice box, and the game may now begin!
DISCLAIMER: We have adopted an unofficial variant/house rule that differs from the rules because we find it works better for us. During the phases where all players may play simultaneously we instead just have each player take a turn individually. -T
A turn in Cubitos is divided into two main phases with several sub-phases for each. During the main Roll Phase, players will first Draw dice from their personal Draw Zone (on the Player Board) and place them into the Roll Zone. Initially, players will have a hand size of nine, but that may be adjusted as the game progresses. Once the dice have been drawn the player then Rolls their dice. Every die face showing an icon is counted as a Hit, and every die showing a blank face is considered a Miss. All dice showing Hits are moved to the Active Zone ofthe board, and the player then decides if they wish to Push (their luck) and re-roll all the Misses in hopes of more Hits, or if they are done rolling. Once a player re-rolls their Misses, if the result is all Misses, the player Busts and must move ALL rolled dice to the Discard Zone on their board. However, players may continue to roll all Misses until they Bust or are content and stop.
The Run Phase then begins with players resolving their red die icons (crossed swords for attacks), and determining their other icons rolled for coins and movement. Feet icons (and certain dice special abilities) provide players with movement along the Racetrack board, and coins provide the player with purchasing power to buy new dice. Once a player’s Runner has landed on a reward spot on the board, the player receives the benefit and moves all dice used this turn to the Discard Zone on the Player board.
Every time a player Busts, or lands on a Fan icon on the Racetrack, the other matching Runner on the Fan Track board will move one spot along the track, and the player receives the benefits ofthe new space. These benefits are either an increase in hand limit of dice drawn, or more purchasing power inthe form of credits. Reward spaces on the board could give players extra dice for free, allow players to remove dice from their collection, or even gain credits to be used at any time. The game continues in this fashion of each player taking their turns until one player crosses the finish line and wins!
Components. This box is chock full of tasty components that we all just adore. The boards and cards are all good quality and feature some fantastic art, and the custom dice are just so fun to handle. A truly ingenious use of folding arts is used when setting up all the dice boxes. Not only are they used in-game to remind players what icons are on each die face, but they also hold the dice during play, and store the dice inthe box. I mean, triple duty dice boxes are where it’s at! Everything is super colorful and just a joy to play with each time. My one quibble is the very offensive block of cheese on the box cover. I am a big Chicago Bears fan, and seeing something so proudly displayed that even remotely resembles an homage to the Packers is such a shame to me. I really hope that wasn’t intentional, but I am also joking. Mostly.
The absolute best part about this game is the selection of action cards associated with each special set of dice. For example, the purple dinosaur dice could be paired with seven different cards, each with different abilities when the icon is rolled. Each color has a seven card deck, from which a card could randomly be used each game. The rulebook also offers 10 suggested combinations of cards, and also invites players to choose their own combos. This reminds me of a similar mechanic I first saw with the Dice Masters system, where each die’s faces could mean something completely different depending on the card associated with it. I loved that mechanic back then, and I do now as well.
I cannot believe I passed on this game for as long as I did. I mean, I like AEG-published games. We have reviewed John D. Clair games positively: Mystic Vale, with Custom Heroes and Space Base coming soon. Was it a subconscious dislike for the dumb cheese man on the cover? I am not too sure, but I am clearly glad to have it now. The cool dice. Theinteresting theme. The multi-use dice/card components. The fact they included both orange and purple dice. Am I into racing games now? The reasons are plentiful, and I just cannot wait for my next play of Cubitos. Maybe I can get my wife into it and it can be a staple in our rotation.
There are several other little rules that I did not mention here, but all in all I have had a blast every time I play Cubitos. I was certainly correct in wanting to add it to my collection, and having Josh teach Laura and me originally just adds a unique personal touch to the game for me. Creating lasting memories is a big reason I am so into board games inthe first place, and I think Cubitos will hold a special place in my heart simply because I was able to play it with my best friends. They agree with me that this is a special game, and Purple Phoenix Games gives this a nonsquare 16 / 18. If you see this at your LFGS I highly recommend you pick up a copy. Don’t wait, like I did, because when you do get around to it, they just may be out of stock. And a suggestion: because the cheeseperson is wearing lederhosen, just refer to them as a great German friend. AND THAT’S IT. Go Bears.
Rate It 
