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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated The Meg (2018) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
Fins ain’t what they used to be.
OK, OK, so I must be about the last person in the country – at least, those who want to see this at the cinema – who actually has! Maybe its something about the summer slipping into autumn that made me crave for one last summer blockbuster hoorah! In any case, I feel like a bit of a traitor, since I was very scathing about this film’s trailer when it came out. But – do you know – as a brainless piece of popcorn entertainment, I quite enjoyed it!
Jason Statham – the unthinking man’s Dwayne Johnson – plays our hero Jonas Taylor. (Jonas? Surely some sly joke?). Jonas is drinking his life away in Thailand after being traumatised by an underwater rescue mission in which he was 90% successful. (Yeah, I know. Bloody perfectionists. Hate ’em). But he is needed again, since his cute ex-wife Lori (Jessica McNamee) is stuck at the bottom of the sea being terrorised by a terrifying creature: no, not Spongebob Square Pants… the titular prehistoric shark.
Lori is working at an undersea research station – Mana One – off the coast of China, funded by the annoyingly brash billionaire Morris (Rainn Wilson, from “The Office”), who you just HOPE HOPE HOPE will get munched at some point!
Running the station (in the most shameless Hollywood/Chinese market crossover since “The Great Wall“) is Zhang (Winston Chao) assisted by his cute daughter Suyin (played by the gloriously named and very talented Bingbing Li) and his even cuter granddaughter Meiying (Sophia Cai). The race is on to use their brains and Taylor’s brawn to stop the monster from reaching the seaside resort of Sanya Bay for lunch.
The action is, of course, absurd with so many near misses for Jonas from gnashing teeth that he could be The Meg’s registered dentist. There is a really nice dynamic though built up between Jonas, his potential cross-cultural love interest Suyin and young Meiying. Suyin is a classic TimesUp heroine for 2018, with an assertive f***-you attitude and not remotely giving an inch to Statham’s hero.
But it’s young Sophia as Meying who really steals lines and steals hearts with a truly charming performance, and would get my ‘man of the match’ were it not for…
…research assistant Jaxx (Australian model, Ruby Rose). She has an absolutely extraordinary look in this film. Chiselled and tattooed, she literally looks like she has stepped out of a Final Fantasy video game… and acts well too: the complete package.
As referenced above, the Hollywood/Chinese crossover is quite striking in this film, with the Chinese beach location looking like Amity Island on crack! (Cue the overweight Chinese kid as the Jaws “Alex” replacement… who knew China had a child obesity issue too… and that they also have ‘Zoom’ ice lollies!) Unusually for a mainstream Western film, a significant number of lines in the film are in Chinese with English subtitles.
In the league table of shark movies, it is far nearer to “Deep Blue Sea” than it is to “Jaws”, the reigning league champion, and all are far in excess of the ridiculous “Sharknado”. But compared to “Deep Blue Sea”, and even compared to “Jaws” – now, astonishingly, 43 years old! – it’s a curiously bloodless concoction, presumably to guarantee it’s 12A certificate. I have seen far bloodier and more violent 12A’s, and if anything I think director Jon Turteltaub (“National Treasure”) rather overdid the sanitisation.
It’s not going to win many gongs at the Oscars, but it is a slice of movie fun nonetheless.
Jason Statham – the unthinking man’s Dwayne Johnson – plays our hero Jonas Taylor. (Jonas? Surely some sly joke?). Jonas is drinking his life away in Thailand after being traumatised by an underwater rescue mission in which he was 90% successful. (Yeah, I know. Bloody perfectionists. Hate ’em). But he is needed again, since his cute ex-wife Lori (Jessica McNamee) is stuck at the bottom of the sea being terrorised by a terrifying creature: no, not Spongebob Square Pants… the titular prehistoric shark.
Lori is working at an undersea research station – Mana One – off the coast of China, funded by the annoyingly brash billionaire Morris (Rainn Wilson, from “The Office”), who you just HOPE HOPE HOPE will get munched at some point!
Running the station (in the most shameless Hollywood/Chinese market crossover since “The Great Wall“) is Zhang (Winston Chao) assisted by his cute daughter Suyin (played by the gloriously named and very talented Bingbing Li) and his even cuter granddaughter Meiying (Sophia Cai). The race is on to use their brains and Taylor’s brawn to stop the monster from reaching the seaside resort of Sanya Bay for lunch.
The action is, of course, absurd with so many near misses for Jonas from gnashing teeth that he could be The Meg’s registered dentist. There is a really nice dynamic though built up between Jonas, his potential cross-cultural love interest Suyin and young Meiying. Suyin is a classic TimesUp heroine for 2018, with an assertive f***-you attitude and not remotely giving an inch to Statham’s hero.
But it’s young Sophia as Meying who really steals lines and steals hearts with a truly charming performance, and would get my ‘man of the match’ were it not for…
…research assistant Jaxx (Australian model, Ruby Rose). She has an absolutely extraordinary look in this film. Chiselled and tattooed, she literally looks like she has stepped out of a Final Fantasy video game… and acts well too: the complete package.
As referenced above, the Hollywood/Chinese crossover is quite striking in this film, with the Chinese beach location looking like Amity Island on crack! (Cue the overweight Chinese kid as the Jaws “Alex” replacement… who knew China had a child obesity issue too… and that they also have ‘Zoom’ ice lollies!) Unusually for a mainstream Western film, a significant number of lines in the film are in Chinese with English subtitles.
In the league table of shark movies, it is far nearer to “Deep Blue Sea” than it is to “Jaws”, the reigning league champion, and all are far in excess of the ridiculous “Sharknado”. But compared to “Deep Blue Sea”, and even compared to “Jaws” – now, astonishingly, 43 years old! – it’s a curiously bloodless concoction, presumably to guarantee it’s 12A certificate. I have seen far bloodier and more violent 12A’s, and if anything I think director Jon Turteltaub (“National Treasure”) rather overdid the sanitisation.
It’s not going to win many gongs at the Oscars, but it is a slice of movie fun nonetheless.
Awix (3310 KP) rated Humanoids from the Deep (1980) in Movies
Apr 10, 2020
Roger Corman-produced mash-up of Jaws and Creature from the Black Lagoon aims for maximum schlock and succeeds; ends up with a vague resemblance to The Shadow Over Innsmouth which it really doesn't deserve. A chemical accident produces a race of fish-men in cheap-ass monster suits who have the hots for anything in a bikini. The disreputable godfather of any number of dodgy Sci-Fi channel movies, and the kind of thing Hannibal used to appear in between episodes of The A-Team.
The odd thing is that credited director Peeters seems to have been trying to make a relatively serious movie; much of the more explicit fem jeop stuff was edited in by Corman having been filmed separately by Jimmy Murakami. The rather primitive production values and slightly stodgy plot means this would never have been a particularly great film, but the brazen tackiness of the fish-want-girls plotline makes it feel that bit more trashy. Doug McClure, to his credit, looks vaguely embarrassed to be participating. These days, much of it leaves an unpleasant aftertaste; certainly less enjoyable than it sounds.
The odd thing is that credited director Peeters seems to have been trying to make a relatively serious movie; much of the more explicit fem jeop stuff was edited in by Corman having been filmed separately by Jimmy Murakami. The rather primitive production values and slightly stodgy plot means this would never have been a particularly great film, but the brazen tackiness of the fish-want-girls plotline makes it feel that bit more trashy. Doug McClure, to his credit, looks vaguely embarrassed to be participating. These days, much of it leaves an unpleasant aftertaste; certainly less enjoyable than it sounds.
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Deep Blue Sea (1999) in Movies
Feb 20, 2020 (Updated Feb 20, 2020)
Sharks On A Plane
Deep Blue Sea- think of "Jaws", meets "Jurassic Park". What a great cast that is mostly wasted expect for Samuel L. Jackson he is the best in this film. Him and the shark that eats him, oh did i spoil it, its 11 years old at this point. 11 years since it came out in 1999. Thomas Jane, LL Cool J and Stellan Skarsgård are good actors just i think their were wasted in this film. Samuel L. Jackson was the best part of this film, he kills it by a shark.
The Plot: On an island research facility, Dr. Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) is harvesting the brain tissue of DNA-altered sharks as a possible cure for Alzheimer's disease. When the facility's backers send an executive (Samuel L. Jackson) to investigate the experiments, a routine procedure goes awry and a shark starts attacking the researchers. Now, with sharks outnumbering their human captors, McAlester and her team must figure out a way to stop them from escaping to the ocean and breeding.
Dont forger the main theme song "Deepest Bluest" by LL Cool J and you got a film.
The Plot: On an island research facility, Dr. Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) is harvesting the brain tissue of DNA-altered sharks as a possible cure for Alzheimer's disease. When the facility's backers send an executive (Samuel L. Jackson) to investigate the experiments, a routine procedure goes awry and a shark starts attacking the researchers. Now, with sharks outnumbering their human captors, McAlester and her team must figure out a way to stop them from escaping to the ocean and breeding.
Dont forger the main theme song "Deepest Bluest" by LL Cool J and you got a film.
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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated The Grudge (2004) in Movies
Sep 21, 2020
Takes too long to finally get on its feet, though like something such as 𝘍𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘎𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴 I'd argue that retaining the same director as the original film was ultimately the right move here. Because even though this is nothing more than a grimy slideshow of hilariously over-creepy imagery, it is also very successful at that (very pleased with the amount of jaws comically ripped off in this). The rest of it is practically a 60-75% finished story that suffices well enough but that you also *really* want to know more about (i.e. the entire Bill Pullman arc) - but that's because it takes hearty asides to have 5+ minute scenes of people slowly walking through haunting apartment complexes a la 𝘍𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘋𝘰𝘵𝘊𝘰𝘮, which I'm often a sucker for when it's done well - and it is done so here. I also credit this for really exacerbating that mid-2000s dingy slime-green film that thickly coated the sizeable majority of horror films from this era that I also cop to digging (which, despite its metric fuckton of other flaws, at least Rings tried to bring back). Silly and spooky, decently pleased with it.