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Safe (2012)
Safe (2012)
2012 | Action, Drama
8
7.0 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
I’ve returned with another movie review for y’all and it should certainly come as no surprise Whatsoever that my review covers the latest edition to Jason Statham’s growing resume of action Movies. After 3 delays for its U.S. release, “SAFE” has finally arrived.
“Safe” is first and foremost an action film as one would expect from Statham
But somehow he always seems to up his game with even better actions scenes which are brilliantly Choreographed.

Some of which will have you laughing at the ineptness of his enemies
Or to the point where you’ll cringe at the very thought of the pain the characters might be going through. But as always, it’s worth it. This time, they’ve even thrown in more of a storyline and a plot twist or two that would peak Tarentino’s interest.

From writer/director by Boaz Yakin and executive producer Kevin Spacey and producer Lawrence Bender (Of Pulp Fiction and Inglorious Bastards fame), Jason Statham stars as Luke Wright. A garbage man turned second-rate cage fighter and former NYPD officer. Upon leaving the NYPD after testifying against corrupt NYPD detectives, Luke drifts from garbage man to Mixed Martial Arts fighter.

In order to support his pregnant wife. Upon winning a fight that he was supposed to lose the bad guys decides to make an example of him by brutally murdering his wife and unborn child. If this was not bad enough, the bad guys then tell Luke that they will murder anyone he comes into contact with as is illustrated when they later kill a homeless man Luke gave his shoes to.

Meanwhile, Mei (Catherine Chan) a young math prodigy, is forced to be a ‘counter’ for a Chinese triad (in essence instead of using computers, the triad forces her to memorize everything from money for drug transactions to police payoffs etc.), in order to keep the triad from killing her mother.

Upon learning of the death of her mother, Mei escapes but with the knowledge of the entire organization retained in her memory the triad hunts her down through the streets of New York City while also trying to avoid the same thugs who terrorize Luke as they have discovered who she is and want to use everything she knows to bring down their competitors.

Luke, mourning the loss of his wife and unborn child nearly commits suicide by jumping in front of a subway when he witness Mei being chased through the subway by the same goons who killed his wife.

After realizing that he is the only one who can protect Mei, Luke begins a brutal rampage through New York City battling all who stand in the way and pose a threat to Mei.

To sum up the movie briefly it is Grand Theft Auto meets “The Transporter” in New York City
minus the sex, drugs, and the modified Audi with the V-12 rocket engine.

There are plenty of shootouts, fight scenes, car chases, in even some intrigue to keep you thinking. A most excellent movie if you’re looking to take a break from the sunny weather and take refuge in a cool air-conditioned movie theater as the film is more than worth spending your hard earned cash on.
  
Honest Thief (2020)
Honest Thief (2020)
2020 | Action, Crime, Drama
Chemistry between Neeson and Walsh (1 more)
Great cinematography around a scenic Boston
As discussed in my One Mann's Movies review of "Cold Pursuit", Liam Neeson has had a rather rocky PR road of late. But - unlike Kevin Spacey - he is clearly not being put on the naughty step by Hollywood, since he is filming/announced for five other features at the time of writing. His latest release - "Honest Thief" - has Mark Williams directing and co-writing (with Steve Allrich), and sees Neeson back on VERY familiar territory in an exciting and sometimes violent thriller.

The nice concept behind the story sees Tom (Liam Neeson) as a hugely successful bank robber meeting the love of his life in Annie (Kate Walsh) and committing to jack it all in for love. Furthermore, not wishing to have to live with the deception and guilt of his hidden life, he determines to hand himself over to the FBI, along with the $9 million stolen cash, in return for a lenient sentence.

There's a problem though: he's about the fifteenth person calling the FBI claiming to be the "In and Out burgler", so no-one wants to take him seriously. Boston area chief Sam Baker (Robert Patrick - the "Terminator" cop!) and his deputy Meyers (Jeffrey Donovan) casually put it on the "to-do" pile of agents Nivens (Jai Courtney) and Hall (Anthony Ramos).

The best laid plans run off the rails in a big way though when Nivens and Hall investigate and find that Tom is the real deal.

The concept here works nicely for a thriller, but the rest of the script is so formulaic that it's fairly and squarely a 'park your brain in the foyer' movie. For several of the actions and motives going on here, suspension of disbelief was required . Even given the limited competition in 2020, the script is in no way going to trouble the Academy.

All that being said, Mark Williams has put together a tight and well-executed movie, not outstaying its welcome at only 99 minutes long. Even with the 15 year age difference, Neeson and Walsh make a believable couple (given that Neeson looks pretty good for his 68 years) and the chemistry between them is great. And for a pretty 'small' movie, the supporting cast is pretty impressive.

Another standout for me was the cinematography by Shelly Johnson (whose had a busy year with the latest "Bill and Ted" and "Greyhound" under his belt). Boston - always a great movie location - looks spectacular, and the framing of the car chase action impressed me.

For me, there was only one really dodgy element of the movie: the special effects used in a house explosion/fire. The budget clearly didn't stretch to using practical effects! More work on Adobe "After Effects" (or similar) was required here!

Is Honest Thief worth seeing? - My expectations for this movie were pretty low. But I'm pleased to say that they were exceeded. Is it a masterpiece? No. Will I readily remember much about it in six month's time? No. But in rather a desert of new releases, this one was at least entertaining and I think it's worth the ticket price for a long overdue night out at the flicks. I'm willing to guess that my feelings were partially influenced by the sheer joy of being back in a cinema again... so I will temper my rating perhaps by a star here.

(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://rb.gy/9kcnr5. Thanks.)
  
The Dish (2001)
The Dish (2001)
2001 | Comedy, Drama
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Characters – Cliff Buxton is the director of the facility, he remains calm for the additional pressure placed on him by this mission, he knows how to welcome a new member to the team and keep his loyal team showing the respect required, Cliff has been through his own personal tragedy which has given him extra motivation to be part of this moment in history. Mitch is the senior member of the team in Australia, he has worked with Cliff for years now and doesn’t take too keenly to Al, he must learn to accept his own mistakes and that everyone involved wants the same thing. Glenn is the youngest member of the team, he is nervous person in life and has a side story of whether he will ask a local woman out. Al is the representative from NASA, he is very much by the book figure and this does cause tension in places because he isn’t as laid back as the rest of the team, even though he does have the utmost respect for the team.

Performances – Sam Neill is brilliant in this film, he has always been one of the actors that can portray knowledge with ease and will always be engaging. Kevin Harrington, Tom Long and Patrick Warburton are all wonderful to watch, showing great chemistry throughout the film.

Story – The story here follows the small team of satellite team in Australia that have been selected to be the link in communication for NASA for the Apollo 11 mission to be the first man to walk on the moon, we see how they team had to overcome their own problems to make sure they are part of history. When it comes to the moon mission, it has to go down as one of the biggest moments in human history and over the years we have seen many stories about the people involved in making this moment in history happen. By seeing how a small crew has operated to make this event visible for the world is entertaining. Seeing how things didn’t go to plan shows how they had to show their skills to adapt to the situation is interesting and the side story of the Mayor seeing how proud he is to be selected for this. This is a complete story that shows us just how wonderful this event was for the people involved.

Comedy/History – The comedy involved in the film shows us just how the crew can make the events fee light-hearted with what happens, showing us how they can feel like they are can operate best with the laidback nature. This does circle around one of the biggest events in human history.

Settings – The film uses a couple of main locations, first and most importantly is the dish which shows how contained the operation was and how the town came together to be remembered in history.


Scene of the Movie – Rudy the security guard, he gets so many laughs it is brilliant.

That Moment That Annoyed Me – Nothing about this film.

Final Thoughts – This is easily one of the most underrated movies involving the moon landing, it is one that is easy to enjoy with laughs and historical moments blend effortlessly.

 

Overall: Wonderful drama.
  
Pitching Tents (2017)
Pitching Tents (2017)
2017 |
6
8.0 (2 Ratings)
Movie Rating
If you have ever taken the time to listen to our Podcast you will have figured out that I am a big fan of Kevin Smith, John Hughes, Cameron Crowe dialogue heavy story driven movies. Throw one of those coming of age end of summer type movies and ill eat them up like a bowl of Shreddies (Other cereals are available I just happen to be eating a bowl as I write this).

Pitching Tents is exactly this type of movie. Its 1984 its the end of the school year and Danny (Micheal Grant) has very little clue what he is going to do with his life past High School, before he has to really worry about any of that he is having one last weekend at Trout Camp with his buddies. However before his weekend can really begin he is cornered by over zealous guidance counselor Mr. Mulligan (Jim Norton) who has pretty much guaranteed Danny a place at a good college. Obviously though things are never that simple because Danny’s dad (Eric Allan Kramer) has gone to the liberty of securing him a job at the local factory.

 

Torn between his passion for Art and his desire to please his father, Danny has a tough life choice ahead of him. Of course that can wait because a weekend of smoking weed, contemplating life, trying to get laid lies ahead of Danny and his closest friends. You know standard Dazed and Confused territory.

You could argue that there is not really anything original here and you would right, we have seen these movies before and often done better. However I personally felt the Tug of War between Danny, his father and the Counselor is an interesting spin of the teen coming of age drama. Add to this the supporting cast of friends all hugely believable and relate-able with good turns from Disney alumni BooBoo Stewart (Descendants) as Todd and everyone’s favorite child star Jonathan Lipnicki (who is all growed up nowadays) as Scott. Then there is the final third of the movie in which Danny is to make his choice and the movie shows a level of maturity rarely seen in this type of Flick. Props to director Jacob Cooney on this count.

This is a recommend if these movies take your fancy, I know they are not for everyone but personally it ticked a lot of my boxes, and its always good to see what Lipnicki is doing these days. Oh then theres the soundtrack, typical 80s movie soundtrack, but hey who doesnt love that.
  
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Comedy
Half baked
jumanji next level is like an uninteresting game cutscene thats also unskippable its dull, frustrating, overlong and makes you wish you were doing something else. I actualy quite enjoyed the first instalment I it had some genuinely good ideas, great set pieces and some really fun action so i find it sad to say the sequel is not worth your time at all. Starting in the real world here lies its fist problem: not only are all the teens really boring and generic characters they are all also played by people that just cant act which absolutely kills any attachment to the characters and makes them seem more like one dimensional npcs in a cheap videogame. This would all be fine if the film jumped quickly into the game and the action but instead we get stuck with them for so long that i was begining to get restless way before we even begin to enter the jumanji. Once we do enter the game things do pick up but not by much as what we get is essentially a long drawn out re-skin of the first movie stuffed full of repetative humour and references. Its also contains some of the worst shot/lazy action scenes i have seen this year with not only poor cgi that offers no sense of weight but also no sense of thrill or excitement either. Long unnecessary scenes also plague the film too adding nothing to the story or character development and some jokes even go on for way to long even though they muster no laughs at all. Theres definitely some fun in watching the rock, kevin heart, jack black and karen gilinham act like thier in movie real world counterparts as they do a really impressive job of imitating the teen characters better than the teen actors do them selves. Another huge problem comes from each game character having only three lives as this immediately removes all threat/peril from the movie and again kills all tension too. If i had to sum up this sequel i would say its a movie made for people that talk through movies and i garantee if you go and see it at the cinema i bet thats what people will do because it lacks anything to keep even casual movie goers engaged and focused. More like disappointing dlc that you paid for upfront than 'next level' this movie really isnt worth your time. If you own the previous movies id stay home in the warm and watch them instead save yourself an over two hour slog of bad jokes and poor action.
  
Glass (2019)
Glass (2019)
2019 | Drama, Thriller
An ambitious but flawed finale
M. Night Shyamalan is back behind the camera! Quick, run! Joking aside, Shyamalan’s career is as convoluted as his signature third-act twists. Starting off with the fabulous The Sixth Sense and then almost derailing his career with catastrophic failures like The Happening, After Earth and dare I mention it, The Last Airbender, it appeared we had all but lost that once promising directorial flair.

Thankfully in 2016’s Split, Shyamalan returned to form somewhat with a nicely paced, tense thriller starring James McAvoy as Kevin, a guy with multiple personality disorder. Of course, the infamous twist, possibly Shyamalan’s best, that this film was set in the same universe as the fabulous Unbreakable was almost too much to handle.

Fast-forward three years and Glass is the film that rounds out the surprise trilogy, bringing together McAvoy, Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson for the mother of all showdowns. Or that’s what the trailers would have you believe. But what’s the finished product like?

Three weeks after the conclusion of Split, Glass finds Bruce Willis’ David Dunn pursuing James McAvoy’s superhuman figure of The Beast in a series of escalating encounters, while the shadowy presence of Elijah Price (Samuel L Jackson) emerges as an orchestrator who holds secrets critical to both men. Sandwiched in between this is Sarah Paulson’s Dr Ellie Staple who desperately wants to prove that these men simply hold delusions of grandeur.

As a rule, trilogy closers generally tend to the weakest of the three films with Spider-Man 3, Return of the Jedi and X-Men: Apocalypse cementing my point and Glass unfortunately follows a similar pattern. While by no means a bad film, Shyamalan desperately tries to add too many plot threads into the mix at the end resulting in a messy climax that trips all over itself.

Thankfully, the first act, and the majority of the second live up to expectations. James McAvoy is absolutely exceptional as Kevin and his multiple personalities. Switching between them at the flash of a light, he is staggering to watch and is the highlight in a film that for the most part, gets the best out of its stars. Samuel L Jackson and Sarah Paulson are great with the former looking like he’s having an absolute blast reprising a role that’s been dormant for 19 years.

The less said about Bruce Willis the better. He seems to be sleepwalking through the entire film, so it’s probably for the best that he appears fleetingly every now and then as this is very much McAvoy’s film.

Glass is a film that is both longer and weaker than its two predecessors but can still get by on its own merits thanks to a stunning performance by James McAvoy
The script is typical Shyamalan. It’s clunky, filled with overly expositional dialogue and sometimes downright jarring, but the intriguing premise allows you to overlook this more often than not. There are some nice touches as Sarah Paulson’s character tries to explain away the powers of the main trio, making them and us as the audience doubt their superhuman abilities.

Those expecting a film packed with action will be disappointed. Glass is very much a character piece. The action that is there is well-filmed and realistic considering the film’s incredibly small budget, but it’s limited to the beginning and end of the movie, though the finale is such a mess that it’s really not worth mentioning.

Much of Glass takes place within the Raven Hill Memorial Hospital and follows Paulson’s daily studies of the trio and while this does dampen the pacing somewhat, it’s a refreshing change to the action-packed blockbusters that we have become accustomed to in the genre.

When it comes to cinematography, again, it’s typical Shyamalan. Long-tracking shots, super close-ups and peculiar camera angles are all present and correct. In Split, the impact of his unusual camerawork wasn’t too grating, but here it creates quite the distraction. There’s also another Shyamalan staple: the director’s cameo. The one in Glass is overly long and completely unnecessary, but it’s something we’ve come to expect over the last couple of decades.

Overall, Glass is a film that is both longer and weaker than its two predecessors but can still get by on its own merits thanks to a stunning performance by James McAvoy, the class brought by Samuel L Jackson and Sarah Paulson and a great sense of ambition. Unfortunately, budgetary restraints have resulted in a film that is subtle to the point of being dull and while praise should be given for effort, Glass proves to be just a little underwhelming.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2019/01/19/glass-review-an-ambitious-but-flawed-finale/
  
Peaks and Valleys (2020)
Peaks and Valleys (2020)
2020 | Crime, Drama
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Acting of the two leads (2 more)
Cinematography of the beautiful Alaskan wilderness
Script and direction both good
Two strangers forced to over-winter in Alaskan wilderness
In “Peaks and Valleys”, Jack (Kevin T. Bennett) is living as a recluse in a remote cabin in Alaska. His solitude is rudely interrupted by a plane which drops a naked, trussed-up and drugged-up girl into his lake. Traumatised by her experiences, the girl (Bailey, played by Kitty Mahoney) is unwilling to trust the man. But trust him she must, since they are in the Alaskan wilderness and Jack tells her that the supply plane might not come for a couple of months.

How and why was Bailey dumped from the plane? Why is Jack living all alone in the wilderness, and why is he packing a hand-gun? As tempers fray, can the pair survive each other’s company? All intriguing questions that demand answers.

Positives:
- Although it’s only a low-budget Indie-film, it has an intriguing premise that packs a punch above its weight. Since although the story is told in a linear way, the script includes ‘asides’ – told either through imagined conversations or dreams – that create a jigsaw of questions for the viewer. And the dynamic between Jack and Bailey develops in an interesting way. Overall, I was intrigued to see how the questions raised would pan out.
- I’m often disappointed that the acting in these types of Indie films is below par. To a large degree, this is not the case here. Kevin Bennett is very believable as the crusty old backwoodsman. And Kitty Mahoney, in her movie debut, delivers a smashing performance. She has real screen-presence. I’m not sure if this was a “one off” for her, or if she intends to pursue an acting career: but I really hope it’s the latter.
- Another star of the show is the dramatic Alaskan landscapes, lovingly photographed by cinematographer Bryan Pentecostes. Some of the shots are just “double-WOW”! The movie is a wonderful piece of PR for the Alaskan Tourist Board, for sure.
- Michael Dillon’s script avoids clichés and lazy wins. It would be an easy plot point to see the vulnerable young Bailey sexually exploited by the older man. But very much on topic, following the debate around “Promising Young Woman” and earning the film a welcome #notallmen hashtag, Jack makes it abundantly clear that this is not a route we’re going to go down.
- The clever script also has some nice lines that resonate: “We can’t change the wrong that’s been done to us.” growls Jack, “But we’re damned if we don’t let it change us”. But amongst the philosophical sound-bytes, the script also finds time to have some light-hearted fun at times. A nice scene to emphasise the growing relationship and mutual respect between the pair is when Jack teaches Bailey to ice-fish. Jack examines Bailey’s amateurish efforts. “It ain’t the prettiest hole, but I’d stick my pole in it” he says. “I bet you say that to all the girls” quips back Bailey.
- I enjoyed the music by Evan Evans very much too. There’s also a nice song over the end credits by Gregory Alan Isakov as well.
- Finally, a special shout-out to Garrett Martin for some very well done and quease-inducing injury make-up.

Negatives:
- For all the good aspects about the script, there are a few times, particularly early on in Jack and Bailey’s relationship, where I found the exchanges between them forced and unconvincing. This was sometimes down to the script, and sometimes down to over-stretching the acting abilities of the cast.
- The dramatic finale – although surprising and satisfying – relies on some rather unbelievable timing.

Summary Thoughts: When I start watching a low-budget Indie film, I tend to set my expectations accordingly. Often the acting is naff; the script will be hand-gnawingly awful; and/or the production values are found wanting. I was really pleasantly surprised that this movie ticked the “none of the above” box. And yes, there were a few rough edges here and there, but I’ve seen multi-million pound Hollywood blockbusters that were far worse. Michael Burns has delivered a tight and intriguing movie that sensibly sticks to a 96 minute run time, such that I was never bored.

I really enjoyed this one and recommend it. And you only need to fork out a few quid to rent it on Amazon. If you do, I’d be interested in your views.

(For the full graphical review, please check out the One Mann's Movies review here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2021/04/29/peaks-and-valleys-two-strangers-forced-to-over-winter-in-the-alaskan-wilderness/. Thanks).
  
Uncut Gems (2019)
Uncut Gems (2019)
2019 | Comedy, Crime, Drama
Sandler deserves an Oscar Nomination
Adam Sandler deserves and Oscar nomination.

I never thought I'd ever write that sentence, but after seeing his performance in the Safdie brothers film, UNCUT GEMS, I can make that statement with solid confidence.

Following the constant hustle of NYC jewelry dealer (and degenerate gambler), Howard Ratner (Sandler), UNCUT GEMS is an unrelenting look at a person who is never satisfied with where he is - he's always looking for the next "big score".

As portrayed by Sandler, Ratner is charming, charismatic, a BS artist of the highest order and quick with a joke and a scheme in every situation. This is a tour-de-force performance by Sandler who is in virtually every moment of this film. His character is ruthless and relentless - never giving up or losing energy - and it was the constant rat-a-tat-tat of this character/performance that caused great angst in me - as well as great appreciation for the fine performance I was witnessing.

The film was written and directed by the Safdie Brothers (Benny and Josh) who are known in the Independent film world, but who are new to me. I was intrigued by the story, the world and the logistics of this film. It is a smart - and fast paced - film that doesn't try to "dumb it down" for the audience. I applaud them for their work here - and I look forward to what they do next.

A performance like Sandler's is only good if he has good actors to play off of - and he does (in spades) here. From veteran actor Judd Hirsch, to Broadway Superstar Idina Menzel to the great (and underused, in my opinion) Eric Brogosian to the always watchable Lakeith Stanfield, Sandler was able to spar and parry with these performers at a breakneck pace that was intriguing, fascinating and hard to watch.

But the biggest surprise (besides Sandler's dramatic acting chops) was the performance of NBA Superstar Kevin Garnett. Playing a fictionalized and younger (this film is set in 2011) version of himself, Garnett brought the same authority to the screen that he brought to the court.

This is a VERY adult film (according to reports, this film has the 7th most "F-Bombs" of any film in history) with adult subjects and adult situations - all swirling around Sandler's character at a breakneck pace that will be simultaneously satisfying - and hard to watch. Are you watching a person spiraling out of control - or are you watching a very smart person weaving his way in and out of precarious situations?

Watch UNCUT GEMS - and you be the judge.

Letter Grade: A-

8 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
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BackToTheMovies (56 KP) rated Fear Clinic (2014) in Movies

Jun 12, 2019 (Updated Jun 12, 2019)  
Fear Clinic (2014)
Fear Clinic (2014)
2014 |
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
A Horror Movie That Makes You Think!
The film revolves around a shooting that takes place in a diner that traumatizes a group of survivors who check themselves into the Fear Clinic, a clinic run by Dr.Andover a man who has created a unique way of treating phobia's using a revolutionary new technology called the fear chamber. The fear chamber works by re-animating your worst fears into hallucinations so you can combat your fear face to face. However within the story the fears start manifesting themselves in the real world and this new technology that Dr.Andover has created is slowly opening up a doorway to allow fear incarnate to wreak havoc on the patients of the clinic.

Fear Clinic has an incredibly strong cast line up with Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street) reprising his role as Dr.Andover, Thomas Dekker (Heroes) as Blake, Fiona Dourif (Curse of Chucky) as Sara a survivor of the diner shooting, Angelina Armani (Chromeskull 2) as another survivor Caylee and Corey Taylor in his first ever acting role as Bauer a porter at the clinic. Joining this stellar cast are a whole host of other amazing talent including Brandon Beemer, Cleopatra Coleman, Kevin Gage and Felisha Tirrell.

The movie as a whole was incredibly strong, what started off as an incredibly slow build up actually built the story up rather nicely and gave us some in depth character building and information, it is rare to see a good character build in indy horrors but Fear Clinic did it maybe even too much at times. Either way the second half of the movie eclipses the first by a long shot, once the story is set the action begins and with Bob Kurtzman and Steve Johnson behind the SPFX team the excitement and effects do not disappoint. As fear incarnate slowly starts to develop in the real world the SPFX team has amazingly brought this character to life taking on a persona that was unsettling to watch (Minus the visible bald cap on Robert Englund's head). The intro to the movie however slow always had a creepy and uncomfortable vibe, almost putting you in the clinic itself, testing your nerves, straining your ability to relax and always putting you on edge for what is about to come. It was a great touch and full credit to the team for drawing it out over the films duration without letting go of that emotion.

The film contains deep undertones and emotional depth in terms of people's fears and phobia's but there are some points within the movie that need to be tightened up a bit. Certain scenes need explaining more and as fear incarnate starts to manifest itself the build up and gore is lacking within the story so even thou the creature looks amazing, it doesn't strike fear into the audience which is a shame as now the audience is isolated from the story. Never the less the movie flows nicely and as it stands its a great introduction to a franchise but it does feels quite rushed in places and action is scarce in places as the build up is painstakingly drawn out, hopefully this is tightened up for the DVD release version or Director's cut.

Convoluted in places but a movie that stands higher than most Horror's that are being released at the present, a new generation of cerebral Horror. A movie that will make you think rather than spaced out watching the screen, a movie that when finished you'll rewind to make the jigsaw pieces fit. A very smart movie.

If you're used to watching Horror movies with a vacant mind then you will be disappointed with Fear Clinic, it's time to engage your brain, the Fear Clinic is open for business.

FEAR ON!
  
The Burning Dead (2015)
The Burning Dead (2015)
2015 | Horror
4
4.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
So, If you’re on the east coast you’re no doubt experiencing the unusually harsh ‘arctic waves’. If you’re on the west coast you have to deal with the unseasonably warm weather.

Whether it’s trying to stay warm and keep the fires burning or finding the shade and a cool beverage, either you or someone you know is going to bring up the following idea ‘ … B-Movie Horror Marathon’.

 

Today we’ve got a prime candidate for just such a marathon. ‘The Burning Dead’ staring the legendary Danny Trejo! Now, When I describe a B-movie of the horror genre, I’m not talking about legendary franchises like ‘Friday The 13th’ or ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’. No no no no no. I’m talking about a movie worthy of getting critiqued by the original crew of ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’. Something like an episode of the ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ T.V. show minus the awesome cast, a smaller budget, questionable computer-generated special effects, and no Joss Whedon at the helm. This movie isn’t without merit though. I mean c’mon. It’s got Danny Trejo in it so it definitely deserves a shot right?!

 

‘The Burning Dead’ stars Danny Trejo, Thomas Downey, Adam Gregor, Nicole Cummins, Moniqua Plante, Julia Lehman, Robert F. Lyons, Kyle T. Heffner, Kevin Norman, and Jenny Lin.

Our story opens with the Native American warrior Night Wolf (Trejo) and several members

of his family gathered around the campfire as he begins to share the tale the infamous ‘Donner Party’ and the madness that engulfed the early settlers was caused by an evil spirit that resided in the nearby mountain after defeating a ‘good spirit’ many years early. Fast forward to present day, Sheriff Denton is supervising the evacuation of a town in the shadow of the mountain after it begins to show signs of an impending eruption. Little do he and the townspeople know that

there will not only be a volcanic eruption, but the evil spirit residing within will unleash a horde of flesh-eating zombies that spit hot lava and ravage everything in their path!

 

Yeah yeah. I little too dramatic I know. I gotta give it some credit though. The actors and actresses do give a great performance under the circumstances attempting to be as serious as possible and the ‘lava zombie’ effects are quite well done considering. When the zombies ‘go to work’ there’s a definite ick factor too. Certainly not ‘Walking Dead’ gross but they get the point across. The soundtrack is almost annoying though as its the same track or variations of on a loop over and over again. I think from time to time, the writers may have consulted the ‘scary movie’ handbook because at one point, they do throw in hot chic who randomly shows up at the mountain during the evacuation, sets up a camera in front of the volcano and proceeds to strip while the camera is photographing the mountain in auto. We all know what happens to the ‘hot chic’ in a scary flick that strips down to her underwear or more yes? Predictable but mildly entertaining.

 

Honestly, I was expecting and hoping to see Trejo show up a lot more in the movie and kick some bad guy ass or in this case, some zombie ass. I think how I described it earlier is the best way to sum it up, ‘ It’s like a really bad episode of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer ‘ minus the cast and character line up and no Joss Whedon at the helm. I’m giving it 2 out of 5 stars. This one just barely scrapes by. Definitely NOT one for the kids. Don’t waste your money on seeing it in theaters. Take my advice, and add it to the lineup for a B-Movie Horror marathon at home.

Sorry Danny … You just barely saved this one.