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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
2017 | Sci-Fi
Where to begin with Luc Besson? The masterpiece of Leon aside, he is notorious for creating beautifully bonkers visual treats that twist and turn like a monkey on cocaine, making as much sense. This comic book adaptation starts well, with some jaw dropping CG design and a decent concept – it truly is a dreamscape of glorious colour and imagination rarely matched… but so is Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and we all know how awful that is.

He just doesn’t have the knack with story and character in the same way as he does with the visuals, often leaving you with the impression that even the actors are confused by what is going on, and why, and what the hell is coming out of their mouths as an excuse for dialogue.

I like Dane De Haan, he has shown a lot of promise in some valiant near misses, such as Chronicle, The Place Beyond the Pines and The Cure For Wellness – three films I enjoyed, with reservations, that were better for him being in them – but he has not quite made it to the A-list as yet. Here, opposite the gorgeously cute but somehow hollow presence Cara Delevingne, he is burdened by a love story with no chemistry and some cringe-worthy banter. As the film ultimately focuses and depends on the likability of this relationship it inevitably fails; melting into comic book kookiness that loses a lot in translation.

I almost found myself hating them and wishing they would die painfully so the film could end, but not quite as much as I hated how fundamentally terrible Clive Owen was as the villain – I mean, so awkward and awful it made how uncomfortable Harrison Ford seemed in Ender’s Game look like an Oscar worthy performance. Risible. Inexcusable. Inexplicable. But that’s Besson where let loose into the realm of full sci-fi.

One corner of joy was Rihanna as the shape-shifting Bubble, who showed a charm and talent for film acting I hadn’t quite expected, and how much fun Ethan Hawke had dressing up and hamming it up as Jolly, her pimp. But essentially, you’d be better off turning the sound off completely and just drinking in the spectrum of imaginative design on display. A film that may hold some cult status into the future, and one small children may get oddly addicted to, but as a functioning and satisfying cinematic story… just, no.
  
Dark Tales
Dark Tales
Shirley Jackson | 2016 | Fiction & Poetry
8
7.5 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
This is a really generous collection of short stories. There are 17 in this book in total, with the longest being only 24 pages (which feels like loads after reading 10 page stories practically all the way through)!

<b><i>The Possibility of Evil - 3 stars</i></b>
I wasn’t all that interested in this short until right at the very end. The last line was fantastically horrible.

<b><i>Louisa, Please Come Home - 3 stars</i></b>
Hm. This one was good but not great. It was sad, more than anything.

<b><i>Paranoia - 5 stars</i></b>
This story was great! It gripped me right from the start and had my heart pounding as Mr Beresford was rushing to get home and away from “light hat”. Fantastically creepy ending too.

<b><i>The Honeymoon of Mrs Smith - 2 stars</i></b>
I liked the prose and everything but I didn’t get it? Probably me just being stupid but… yeah.

<b><i>The Story We Used to Tell - 3 stars</i></b>
There was certainly an eeriness about this story but I didn’t like how it took on a sort of paranormal turn, when the rest of the stories have been based on human nature.

<b><i>The Sorcerer's Apprentice - 2 stars </i></b>
This one was just really dull in comparison to the other ones.

<b><i>Jack the Ripper - 4 stars </i></b>
I liked this one because it was creepy and kind of left you to your own imagination. I love any kind of story that focuses on the Ripper because everyone makes him their own.

<b><i>The Beautiful Stranger - 3 stars </i></b>
If you can’t already tell from my previous mini reviews, I prefer the creepy stories, and this wasn’t that, but it was still an interesting story, just not my favourite.


<b><i>All She Said Was Yes - 4 stars</i></b>
I liked this story because it was a little bit different and the ending has you going “No! No! Don’t do it!”. I like it when a book conjures up that emotion from you.

<b><i>What a Thought - 4 stars</i></b>
Hasn’t just about everyone had a murderous thoughts before? This was a good story because I could relate to some of it. (That all sounds so bad, don’t worry, I’m not planning on ever killing anyone).

<b><i>The Bus - 4 stars</i></b>
I really liked this one! It got super creepy when she arrived at the old house and I loved the twist ending!

<b><i>Family Treasures - 3 stars</i></b>
I enjoyed this one all the way up to then end. Girls are so terribly bitchy, Jackson got the atmosphere in the house perfectly right!

<b><i>A Visit - 3 stars</i></b>
I liked how the mystery built in this story but I didn’t particularly like how to story ended. I also felt that the timings were a little all over the place, which confused me at some parts.

<b><i>The Good Wife - 3 stars</i></b>
I didn’t mind this story but it was very predictable. I was hoping the end wouldn’t be what I was expecting it to be, but alas.

<b><i>The Man in the Woods - 4 stars</i></b>
This story had a bit of a fairy tale feel to it, which made it a lot more enjoyable for me.

<b><i>Home - 4 stars</i></b>
OK, so I know I said earlier in this review that I didn’t like one of the stories taking on a paranormal element, but I liked it in this one! I kind of reminded me of Beetlejuice because of the bridge lol.

<b><i>The Summer People - 4 stars</i></b>
Eep, this one was creepy! I liked the whole creepy local community vibe it had to it and how the Allison’s were no longer welcome… Very good end to this collection of shorts.

<i>Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin Books UK for giving me the opportunity to read this in exchange for an honest review.</i>
  
Ace of Shades (The Shadow Game, #1)
Ace of Shades (The Shadow Game, #1)
Amanda Foody | 2018 | Fiction & Poetry
8
7.5 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
Prim and proper Enne Salta is looking forward to her graduation from finishing school when her adoptive mother goes missing in New Reynes, otherwise known as the City of Sin. In an effort to find her, she must rely on the help and street smarts of gambler Levi Glaisyer. I think that it is safe to say that the blurb of this book caught me by the nose and I couldn't wait to read it so moving into a new house where there was no internet to distract me seemed as good an opportunity as any.

This book starts pretty slowly, or rather it tries to be interesting while still explaining the quite complex world and history since the Great Street War (which we actually know very little about) as well as introducing all the different characters and their blood talents and split talents. Even writing that sentence has made my head spin a little, and I've read the book! However, at about page 200 or 250 it really starts to pick up. Suddenly all the information and repetition (more on that later) starts to fall into place, and the plot and characters get SO much more interesting. Until that point though, it's all a bit meh.

With the exception of Chez, I have to say that I loved all the characters. I liked Levi pretty much from his first chapter, the villains were very cool, manipulative and all round imposing even without being in the book that much and all the rest of the characters got better as the book progressed (most notably Enne who becomes a complete badass). There's even a sequel, so perhaps Chez will grow on me after all. I would just like to add here that I love Jac and I want to have his babies.

The atmosphere, for the most part, was very meh. A lot of it was kind of bland and non-descript, which is not really something that you'd expect from a place called 'the City of Sin'. That being said, when Foody really goes for it on the atmosphere, she gets it pretty well spot on! The atmosphere during the second fight with Chez, the basement in the House of Shadows and pretty much any scene with Torren are all winners. It's just a shame that it wasn't that way for the whole book because Foody has proved that she can do it really well.

The writing style was good on the whole, but there were definitely two things that irritated me with it. I mentioned earlier that the first 200 pages have a lot of repetition, but it goes beyond merely parroting things that we already know. Sometimes whole sections of text are repeated from other chapters which I would be completely behind if it was used to offer a different perspective, but it wasn't. Reading these bits just felt like they had been copied and pasted, so it became redundant and annoying. The other problem which became hugely distracting (and which I have seen other people commenting about) is the use of 'muck' or 'mucking' instead of actual swearing. This is a young adult book with drugs and prostitutes in it and where words like 'piss' and 'ass' are used pretty commonly so when 'muck' appears (often said by a Street Lord), the reader can't help but groan. The sort of swearing and sort of not just really doesn't work. Pick a camp and stick to it!

As with the intrigue of the book, the plot got much better as it went along, with new twists and turns and plot points added to it along the way. Unlike the intrigue though, the plot was good from the beginning.

The logic was pretty good most of the time, but there were some notable moments (all heavily for the plot) that I just did not buy. This also kind of ties in with the whole 'muck' thing as well. It just takes you right out of the world.

All in all, I did enjoy this book, and I have to say that my biggest disappointment is that I have to wait another year for the sequel to come out.


Characters: 8/10

Atmosphere: 7/10

Writing Style: 7/10

Plot: 8.5/10

Intrigue: 7.5/10

Logic: 7.5/10

Enjoyment: 8/10
  
Aladdin (2019)
Aladdin (2019)
2019 | Adventure, Family, Fantasy, Musical
Shine bright like a diamond
#aladdin dazzles/soars putting a fresh & thrilling spin on a timeless #disney #classic. Like many I wasnt exactly excited to see one of the greatest #animated movies ever was getting the live action treatment but during the first 5 minutes when #WillSmith started to #sing chills ran up my spine, #goosebumps appeared on my arms & I sank into the #magical world in front of me immersed fully until the credits rolled. I wont be comparing this to the #original (as one is #animated i feel its unfair to compare) so judging this as a film on its own i think #Guyritchie has knocked it out of the park here. First of all i watch a fair few #bollywood movies & have to say the similar tone & vibe they went for here echoes/fits Aladdin perfectly making the film feel fresh, vibrant, #energetic & #enchanting. Just like an #indian film #musical numbers come seemingly out of nowhere extravagantly & on a grand scale, sets/clothing are all immaculate & vivid (all free from wear & tear/dirt & muck), acting is ludicrously exaggerated/over the top & theres such an air of clumsiness/awkwardness to everything that only amplifies is overall charm. Themes of temptation, corruption, weakness, greed & power all add great tension/deepen characters making them all feel more human. While the message of learning to love who you are before you can love another is as #heartwarming as ever. Everyone was likeable with Will Smith bringing something new to the #genie character as with a more mellow, humble, smooth jazz/r&b spin to the musical numbers which i felt worked a treat. However its #Naomiscott who absolutely kills it here, not only is she so #beautiful & mesmerising but her performance is filled with #passion & energy. #Menamassound is also very #charming & disney esque too. Over all i couldnt see this being done in a more fitting way its #laugh out loud #hilarious, the #music is toe tapping, theres enough changes to make things feel new/fresh & its deliciously camp, awkward, dazzling, #creative & over the top. #Aladdinmovie had me leaving the cinema with a grin from ear to ear excited to see it again it simply is phenomenal cosmic #fun for people of all ages. #robbinwilliams #princess
  
The Resistance
The Resistance
2018 | Bluff, Card Game, Deduction, Science Fiction, Spies / Espionage
Excellent intro into social deduction games (3 more)
Easy to teach
Creates interesting moments
High player count
Component quality is lacking (3 more)
Seriously effected by the metagame (i.e. you were a spy last game, you're a spy this game)
Outshined by other, more impressive games.
Puts introverted players in awkward situations.
Good... Until it's not
First off... I love this game. I've had some of the best moments in my gaming history playing this game. It's a simple, quick, satisfying game of bluffing and lying to your friends. But... I'm a good liar. I'm not in the camp of "This game is broken" or "I'm too good at this so it's not fun", because neither of those are true. And maybe my lack of appreciation comes from spending hours playing this over and over early on in my collections history. But truth be told, there are better games that do everything this does and more. This is a good entrance point for people into social deduction games. Unfortunately, it makes introverted people uncomfortable when another, louder, more confident gamer is shouting about something. To be honest, that's the issue with the whole genre, but this is often the starting off point that sullies more involved games for some players. Games like Burke's Gambit, which is similar but with more things players can do. Avalon, which is this game with more in depth roles. One Night Ultimate Werewolf/Alien/Vampire, which is a lot of the same but with an app to moderate it and interesting and plentiful player powers. Secret Hitler, which if you can get past the theme, is amazing, and brings the same feel but with more choices and consequences for your actions.
The Resistance is a fine game. It's only great or good until your group has built up such a metagame that it's not great or good anymore. But then something surprises you and it's back up there. Until you play with a different group. Until you play a different game. Until you evolve naturally past The Resistance into another similar game. I'd always recommend this to new gamers. Because it's a good game... Until... It's not good anymore. Then it's always there for a new friend coming to play. For a session with the new players. It's a good game... Until... It's not.
  
    Vayoo for Hosts

    Vayoo for Hosts

    Business and Productivity

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Minions (2015)
Minions (2015)
2015 | Animation, Comedy, Family
8
6.5 (30 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Bright, smart and hilarious
They’re everywhere! Minions have become a worldwide phenomenon since their unveiling in 2010’s smash-hit Despicable Me and for their return in its sequel.

It was only a matter of time before Universal gave their most successful animated franchise a prequel, and allowing it to focus on the cute yellow creatures was a masterstroke by the people behind the scenes. No matter where you go there is something minion related to buy.

But the question is, does a film based on them truly work? After all, it’s their evil master Gru who is the main focus of the previous features.

Minions follows the history of the loveable race from humble beginnings serving an unlucky Tyrannosaurus right up to the moment they meet their aforementioned boss in a film packed full of colour and imagination.

After a history lesson narrated by the wonderful Geoffrey Rush, we find three plucky minions – Kevin, Stuart and the adorable Bob (accompanied by teddy Tim) as they are about to embark on a mission to find the most evil boss in the world.

Stumbling across the wicked Scarlet Overkill (voiced beautifully by Sandra Bullock) along the way, the trio think they have found everything they ever wanted right here in England.

Seeing London realised in animation as excellent as that in Minions is a joy. The city is a hive of activity with every frame being filled to the brim with tiny details like stained-glass windows, bees, rats, telephone boxes and fluttering flags. It’s just a shame we don’t get to see it more.

Naturally the English stereotypes come out in full force with tea-drinking newsreaders and policemen, but they’re done in such good taste you can’t help but laugh.

This is where Minions excels. Its humour is sublime. The kids will be rolling around in the aisles one moment, with adults finding something equally as hilarious the next – this is how a family film should be. There are pop culture references abound and even some nods to previous US presidents.

Kevin, Bob and Stuart are the perfect trio to spend 90 minutes with. Each of them have rich personalities that feel like they’ve been cleverly crafted to ensure you find a bit of yourself in each – I know, it sounds ridiculous.

Unfortunately, the story runs a little out of puff towards the film’s climax. It delves into unnecessarily silly territory when it really doesn’t need to and it’s a shame that a smart kid’s movie like this feels the need to dumb it all down.

Thankfully, it picks up again in the last 15 minutes and makes for a truly memorable ending.

Overall, Minions is a funny, charming and well-paced film that confirms what we all feared – Britain is obsessed by minions. The animation and humour are both sublime with only an exhausted plot stopping it from achieving greatness.

One thing’s for sure though, that obsession your child has with the pill-shaped creatures, it won’t be going away any time soon. Minions – me ti amo (I love you in Minionese).

https://moviemetropolis.net/2015/06/28/bright-smart-and-hilarious-minions-review/