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Deborah (162 KP) rated Murder at Mansfield Park (Charles Maddox #1) in Books
Dec 21, 2018
The Austen sequel or entertainment is an not uncommon beast these days, even if Pride & Prejudice is more usually the chosen book. As the title might give you a clue - this one relates more to Mansfield Park.
The major characters from the Austen novel are all there in name, but characters and relationships have been seriously altered. The first third of the book is mainly made up of recycled dialogue and narrative from Mansfield Park, but not necesarily in the same order. Mr Rushworth's character is changed to be more like Henry Crawford (and he is given the 'black and plain' description belonging to him in the novel) crossed with Robert Ferrars, so it seems odd when he is given dialogue beloning to the Mr Rushworth of the original novel, although not perhaps as strange when Mrs Norris is found spouting his lines.....
Fanny Price moves to become a rich heiress and the eldest of the female cousins; her character is more like the Maria of the book crossed with Lucy Steele and Caroline Bingley! Maria becomes more like the Julia of the book and Julia becomes more like the Fanny of the novel crossed with Marianne Dashwood - got that yet?! Henry Crawford here I don't really know - I'm not sure we got a proper description, so he does seem a bit of a cipher.
It's not a bad book, but with the murders I found it all rather unpleasant - I prefer such things to be more about the solving of the mystery than the incident itself, and here we have so few characters who could have committed the crime I didn't feel like I was waiting with baited breath for the conclusion (it's not Pug, in case you were worried.....). some characters were so underdeveloped it was rather obvious that they wouldn't have been involved. I do feel that having made so many changes, Lynn Shepherd would have been better off writing her own, original novel; one can't help but feel she has used Austen just to sell her book whereas her original dialogue does suggest that she could allow her writing to stand on its own merits.
The major characters from the Austen novel are all there in name, but characters and relationships have been seriously altered. The first third of the book is mainly made up of recycled dialogue and narrative from Mansfield Park, but not necesarily in the same order. Mr Rushworth's character is changed to be more like Henry Crawford (and he is given the 'black and plain' description belonging to him in the novel) crossed with Robert Ferrars, so it seems odd when he is given dialogue beloning to the Mr Rushworth of the original novel, although not perhaps as strange when Mrs Norris is found spouting his lines.....
Fanny Price moves to become a rich heiress and the eldest of the female cousins; her character is more like the Maria of the book crossed with Lucy Steele and Caroline Bingley! Maria becomes more like the Julia of the book and Julia becomes more like the Fanny of the novel crossed with Marianne Dashwood - got that yet?! Henry Crawford here I don't really know - I'm not sure we got a proper description, so he does seem a bit of a cipher.
It's not a bad book, but with the murders I found it all rather unpleasant - I prefer such things to be more about the solving of the mystery than the incident itself, and here we have so few characters who could have committed the crime I didn't feel like I was waiting with baited breath for the conclusion (it's not Pug, in case you were worried.....). some characters were so underdeveloped it was rather obvious that they wouldn't have been involved. I do feel that having made so many changes, Lynn Shepherd would have been better off writing her own, original novel; one can't help but feel she has used Austen just to sell her book whereas her original dialogue does suggest that she could allow her writing to stand on its own merits.
Jeeves and the Wedding Bells
8.0
Rate It
Book
This is a gloriously witty novel from Sebastian Faulks using P.G. Wodehouse's much-loved characters,...
Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated A Wrinkle in Time (2018) in Movies
Sep 25, 2019
After the disappearance of her scientist father, three peculiar beings send Meg, her brother, and her friend to space in order to find him.
There aren't enough good words to describe how much I love this film. I've sat staring at this screen for twenty minutes trying to work out how to sum it up, and it's really difficult. It will sound ridiculous, but I was left with such a feeling of well being. It sounds daft doesn't it? But it really gave me a sense of perspective that is so easily forgotten. I'm kind of paraphrasing the film but just think about how many decisions the universe had to make to make you... and if you think about that for a while, it's kind of a wow moment.
There are two moments in the film that I love. The first being the moment where they see the universe as it is, and all the things we can't perceive about someone's life. It's poignant and quite emotional. The second is when Charles Wallace goes to the dark side... that kid is amazing and truly demonic, and I loved every second of it.
The only reason that this didn't get five stars is because of the casting. I found Reid and Miller very frustrating to watch, and a little awkward.
It feels spiritual, and I understand that the book has a significant Christian leaning. There are still elements in the film that come across in that way. The Mrs all have a very angel-like, but there's no specific moments that would make you think "bible". There are plenty though that make you think about self and your own place in the universe.
Quite frankly this film made me think more beyond the film than anything else has. My stance is that I always go into a film to not think, the idea is that you're breaking from reality, to unwind, to enjoy yourself. So it usually isn't until a second watching that I might look beyond what's presented, but this one really didn't give me that option, and I liked it.
There aren't enough good words to describe how much I love this film. I've sat staring at this screen for twenty minutes trying to work out how to sum it up, and it's really difficult. It will sound ridiculous, but I was left with such a feeling of well being. It sounds daft doesn't it? But it really gave me a sense of perspective that is so easily forgotten. I'm kind of paraphrasing the film but just think about how many decisions the universe had to make to make you... and if you think about that for a while, it's kind of a wow moment.
There are two moments in the film that I love. The first being the moment where they see the universe as it is, and all the things we can't perceive about someone's life. It's poignant and quite emotional. The second is when Charles Wallace goes to the dark side... that kid is amazing and truly demonic, and I loved every second of it.
The only reason that this didn't get five stars is because of the casting. I found Reid and Miller very frustrating to watch, and a little awkward.
It feels spiritual, and I understand that the book has a significant Christian leaning. There are still elements in the film that come across in that way. The Mrs all have a very angel-like, but there's no specific moments that would make you think "bible". There are plenty though that make you think about self and your own place in the universe.
Quite frankly this film made me think more beyond the film than anything else has. My stance is that I always go into a film to not think, the idea is that you're breaking from reality, to unwind, to enjoy yourself. So it usually isn't until a second watching that I might look beyond what's presented, but this one really didn't give me that option, and I liked it.
Viz Annual: The Jester's Shoes 2018
Book
A Toe-Curling Stack of the Best Bits from Issues 242-251 Mankind's constant need to do better - to...
Language reference
Boogie Bot - Coding for kids - Learn to code
Education
App
Boogie Bot is a fun and interactive learning app which will introduce kids to computer programming...
Lyndsey Gollogly (2893 KP) rated Sucker Punch (Anita Blake #27) in Books
Sep 12, 2021
Contains spoilers, click to show
149 of 250
Book
Sucker Punch ( Anita Blake book 27)
By Laurell K Hamilton
Once read a review will be written via Smashbomb and link posted in comments
My name is Anita Blake and I thought nothing could surprise me. But what if the wrong man is about to be executed?
When a fellow U.S. Marshal flies me in on an emergency consult, I know time is running short. Evidence is mounting against a young wereleopard who stands accused of killing his uncle in the most gruesome and bloody way possible.
In this tiny Michigan town, the pressure from the cops is escalating, the victim's family want retribution and a warrant of execution is already under way. But something feels off about the murder - the evidence doesn't add up.
With the locals up in arms and their fear of supernatural beings growing, I must race to uncover the truth. I cannot let the authorities kill an innocent man. But what if I'm already too late?
Now that was an Anita Blake book!! Thank god!! The case was intriguing I even enjoyed the relationship/ sex stuff granted there wasn’t much but the scenes LKH wrote were just brilliant and fitting to the situation. This is what I needed to keep me wanting more from Anita! Olaf has completely creeped me the fuck out. I mean he has sort of humanised in a way and I think that’s more unsettling than the psychopath I’m praying to god that he gets a bullet soon. I absolutely adore her conversation with Micah he will always be my fav and I love the way LKH talks about him too. Edward and Anitas relationship was cemented even more in this I know they have saved each other numerous times but this one meant more also the fact he may now be one of the physical monsters! I’m genuinely so happy with this book and positive about the next. Thank you Mrs Hamilton!! Ooooo I nearly missed Nicky how I’ll never know that lion is just amazing and I love we got to see and hear him in this book.
Book
Sucker Punch ( Anita Blake book 27)
By Laurell K Hamilton
Once read a review will be written via Smashbomb and link posted in comments
My name is Anita Blake and I thought nothing could surprise me. But what if the wrong man is about to be executed?
When a fellow U.S. Marshal flies me in on an emergency consult, I know time is running short. Evidence is mounting against a young wereleopard who stands accused of killing his uncle in the most gruesome and bloody way possible.
In this tiny Michigan town, the pressure from the cops is escalating, the victim's family want retribution and a warrant of execution is already under way. But something feels off about the murder - the evidence doesn't add up.
With the locals up in arms and their fear of supernatural beings growing, I must race to uncover the truth. I cannot let the authorities kill an innocent man. But what if I'm already too late?
Now that was an Anita Blake book!! Thank god!! The case was intriguing I even enjoyed the relationship/ sex stuff granted there wasn’t much but the scenes LKH wrote were just brilliant and fitting to the situation. This is what I needed to keep me wanting more from Anita! Olaf has completely creeped me the fuck out. I mean he has sort of humanised in a way and I think that’s more unsettling than the psychopath I’m praying to god that he gets a bullet soon. I absolutely adore her conversation with Micah he will always be my fav and I love the way LKH talks about him too. Edward and Anitas relationship was cemented even more in this I know they have saved each other numerous times but this one meant more also the fact he may now be one of the physical monsters! I’m genuinely so happy with this book and positive about the next. Thank you Mrs Hamilton!! Ooooo I nearly missed Nicky how I’ll never know that lion is just amazing and I love we got to see and hear him in this book.
Irish Soda Bread Murder
Carlene O'Connor, Liz Ireland and Peggy Ehrhart
8.0
Rate It
Book
It’s almost time for the delicious warmth of Irish soda bread, but be careful where you...
Kara Skinner (332 KP) rated Room Service in Books
Jun 11, 2019
Desperate Woman Gets Housekeeping Job at a Brothel
Genre: Erotic Romance
My Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Word Count: 17,530 words
After getting conned and dumped by a traveling guitar player, Lucy is struggling to make ends meet and things only get worse when she’s laid off from her waitressing job. Her last customer– a sexy, mysterious man wearing clothes that cost five times her annual salary– leaves her a $1,000 tip out of sympathy, but that money will only last so long.
But when she gets offered a job as a housekeeper at a brothel, things are looking up. Cleaning up after sex isn’t her usual line of work, but at least she won’t have to struggle financially anymore. When she literally runs into her heavy tipper at the brothel, however, things might get a little more complicated, especially when just looking at him is enough to fill her fantasies.
I’m still not sure what to make of this book, but I definitely wish there was more of it. I’m fascinated by this high-class brothel where everything is safe and 100% consensual and everyone treats each other like old friends. There are panic buttons in every room and all of the “Room Service” workers carry panic buttons on them as well (where they carry them isn’t mentioned, unfortunately).
I’m a little uneasy about what happens if one of the staff wants to quit, though. That’s never really mentioned, and Mrs. Stark, the owner of the brothel and Iron Man’s mother, isn’t someone to cross. Are they allowed to leave as long or have they taken a blood oath?
” Just know that if you accept you will be all-in. The secrets you keep will need to go to your grave with you. We take this vow very seriously.” — Mrs. Stark
Sounds like a blood oath to me.
Lucy’s a pretty cool character. She took getting fired well and she’s pretty kind and relatable overall. But her emotions when it comes to her ex are really simplistic. She’s just enraged that he left her destitute. And she definitely has reason to be. But anger is all she’s feeling. She’s not sad that he didn’t love her enough to stick around. She’s not regretting her decision to squander her savings on his debt (and it really was her decision. He might have sweet-talked her into it, but he didn’t hold a gun to her head). There aren’t even any lingering feelings of love or any sign she loved him at all. When it comes to her past, her entire character falls flat.
Of course, she’s better than Adam Palmer, the heavy tipper we know next to nothing about so far. The description “billionaire alpha” basically sums up everything about him. Not that I really mind Adam. He was actually pretty nice to Lucy. Despite the circumstances, I didn’t sense a disturbing power imbalance between them and he seems to genuinely care about her. I wish we saw at least one scene from his point of view. It would have gone a long way to making him a real character instead of an alpha-billionaire-on-the-verge-of-manly-tears stock photo.
I have a theory that he’s the one who got her the job at the brothel, but this has yet to be confirmed. I’ll be sad if this isn’t the case.
The sex scene, was honestly more comical than sexy to me. Reading about them screaming out each others’ names while doin’ it made me giggle.
“OH ADAM,” I cried out at the top of my lungs.
For real, have you or anyone you know actually shouted your partner’s name during sex because you were so caught up in the moment? It doesn’t count if you’re faking it.
Honestly, they talked a lot for two people who were supposed to be lost in the magical sensations of expert boning. Adam could even get out full sentences.
“Fuck Lucy, you are going to make me explode and I am definitely not done with you yet.”
As you can probably guess, this story is in need of some editing. Not just for punctuation issues (not too distracting, but still there), but also for the dialogue which is about as good as the best-written porn out there. The first chapter is also just Lucy straight-up telling her backstory. It only lasts for about a page, but it kept me from getting pulled into the story immediately and kept me from connecting to Lucy.
But despite all its faults, I still enjoyed the story. I thought it was really cute and I want to see more of Lucy and Adam together.
My Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Word Count: 17,530 words
After getting conned and dumped by a traveling guitar player, Lucy is struggling to make ends meet and things only get worse when she’s laid off from her waitressing job. Her last customer– a sexy, mysterious man wearing clothes that cost five times her annual salary– leaves her a $1,000 tip out of sympathy, but that money will only last so long.
But when she gets offered a job as a housekeeper at a brothel, things are looking up. Cleaning up after sex isn’t her usual line of work, but at least she won’t have to struggle financially anymore. When she literally runs into her heavy tipper at the brothel, however, things might get a little more complicated, especially when just looking at him is enough to fill her fantasies.
I’m still not sure what to make of this book, but I definitely wish there was more of it. I’m fascinated by this high-class brothel where everything is safe and 100% consensual and everyone treats each other like old friends. There are panic buttons in every room and all of the “Room Service” workers carry panic buttons on them as well (where they carry them isn’t mentioned, unfortunately).
I’m a little uneasy about what happens if one of the staff wants to quit, though. That’s never really mentioned, and Mrs. Stark, the owner of the brothel and Iron Man’s mother, isn’t someone to cross. Are they allowed to leave as long or have they taken a blood oath?
” Just know that if you accept you will be all-in. The secrets you keep will need to go to your grave with you. We take this vow very seriously.” — Mrs. Stark
Sounds like a blood oath to me.
Lucy’s a pretty cool character. She took getting fired well and she’s pretty kind and relatable overall. But her emotions when it comes to her ex are really simplistic. She’s just enraged that he left her destitute. And she definitely has reason to be. But anger is all she’s feeling. She’s not sad that he didn’t love her enough to stick around. She’s not regretting her decision to squander her savings on his debt (and it really was her decision. He might have sweet-talked her into it, but he didn’t hold a gun to her head). There aren’t even any lingering feelings of love or any sign she loved him at all. When it comes to her past, her entire character falls flat.
Of course, she’s better than Adam Palmer, the heavy tipper we know next to nothing about so far. The description “billionaire alpha” basically sums up everything about him. Not that I really mind Adam. He was actually pretty nice to Lucy. Despite the circumstances, I didn’t sense a disturbing power imbalance between them and he seems to genuinely care about her. I wish we saw at least one scene from his point of view. It would have gone a long way to making him a real character instead of an alpha-billionaire-on-the-verge-of-manly-tears stock photo.
I have a theory that he’s the one who got her the job at the brothel, but this has yet to be confirmed. I’ll be sad if this isn’t the case.
The sex scene, was honestly more comical than sexy to me. Reading about them screaming out each others’ names while doin’ it made me giggle.
“OH ADAM,” I cried out at the top of my lungs.
For real, have you or anyone you know actually shouted your partner’s name during sex because you were so caught up in the moment? It doesn’t count if you’re faking it.
Honestly, they talked a lot for two people who were supposed to be lost in the magical sensations of expert boning. Adam could even get out full sentences.
“Fuck Lucy, you are going to make me explode and I am definitely not done with you yet.”
As you can probably guess, this story is in need of some editing. Not just for punctuation issues (not too distracting, but still there), but also for the dialogue which is about as good as the best-written porn out there. The first chapter is also just Lucy straight-up telling her backstory. It only lasts for about a page, but it kept me from getting pulled into the story immediately and kept me from connecting to Lucy.
But despite all its faults, I still enjoyed the story. I thought it was really cute and I want to see more of Lucy and Adam together.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Emma (2020) in Movies
Feb 21, 2020
Anya Taylor-Joy.... mesmerising (2 more)
Gorgeous to look at; stunning locations and costumes
Witty and well-observed debut script
Simply Sublime
I loved the look of "Emma" from the trailer. And I was not disappointed. It is a simply sublime piece of comic entertainment.
Emma Woodhouse (Anya Taylor-Joy) is a rich, privileged 21 year-old looking after her elderly and quirky father (Bill Nighy) in the family stately home. She has never loved, despite the persistent presence of 'family friend' George Knightley (Johnny Flynn), but finds it entertaining to engage in matchmaking, particularly in respect to her somewhat lower class friend Harriet Smith (Mia Goth). Emma has high ambitions for Harriet... ideas significantly above what her social station and looks might suggest.
Emma has her sights on a dream.... the mystery man Frank Churchill (Callum Turner), son of wealthy local landowner Mr Weston (Rupert Graves). She has never actually met him, but is obsessed with his myth. #fangirl. As a source of immense annoyance to her, but often a source of valuable information on news of Churchill, is the village 'old maid' Miss Bates (Miranda Hart). "Such fun"!
But Emma's perfect life is about to face sticky times, as her machinations fail to yield the expected results and a stray comment, at a disastrous picnic, threatens to damage both her reputation and her social standing.
If you like your movies full of action and suspense, you are digging in the wrong place. "Emma" is slow... glacially slow... wallowing in beautiful bucolic scenes (with superb cinematography by Christopher Blauvelt); gorgeous costumes by Alexandra Byrne; and hair styling by Marese Langan.
The movie also benefits from a joyfully tight and funny script by debut screenwriter Eleanor Catton (a Man-Booker prize winner). This picks relentlessly at the strata of the class system set up by Jane Austen's novel: "Every body has their level" spits spurned suitor Mr Elton (Josh O'Connor).
I know Anya Taylor-Joy as the spirited Casey from "Split" and "Glass": she was impressive in "Split"; less so for me in the disappointing "Glass". But here, I found her UTTERLY mesmerising. She has such striking features - those eyes! - that she fully inhabits the role of the beautiful heiress who haunts multiple men sequentially. I even muttered the word "Oscar nomination" at the end of the film: though we are too early in the year to seriously go there.
An even bigger surprise was the actor playing George Knightley. Johnny Flynn has been in a number of TV shows I haven't seen, and a few films I haven't seen either (e.g. "Beast"). But I had the nagging feeling I knew him really well. The illustrious Mrs Movie Man clocked him: he's the Cineworld "plaid man"! (For those outside the UK or not patrons of Cineworld cinemas, he was the 'star' of a Cineworld advert that played over and Over AND OVER again for months on end before every film I saw. Arrrgggghhhh!).
Here, Flynn is excellent as the frustrated and brooding Austen-hunk. He even gets away with an ar*e-shot within a U-certificate!
Particularly strong in the supporting cast are Bill Nighy (being delightfully more restrained in his performance); Miranda Hart (being "Miranda", but perfectly cast) and Mia Goth (memorable for that eel-bath in "A Cure for Wellness").
And a big thank-you for a web review in the online Radio Times for naming one of the comical (and bizarrely uncredited) footmen as Angus Imrie - - the truly disturbed stepson of Claire in "Fleabag". It was driving me crazy where I knew him from!
The one criticism I would have is that I found the (perfectly fine and well-fitting) music, by David Schweitzer and Isobel Waller-Bridge (sister of Phoebe) poorly mixed within the soundtrack. There were times when I found it overly intrusive, suddenly ducking under dialogue and then BLASTING out again. Sometimes music should be at the forefront.... but more often it should be barely perceptible.
As you might guess....
...I loved this one. The story is brilliant (obsv!); the film is simply gorgeous to look at; the locations (including the village of Lower Slaughter in the Cotswolds and Wilton House - near me - in Salisbury) are magnificent and a blessing for the English Tourist Board.
All the more impressive then that this is the directorial feature of video/short director Autumn de Wilde.
This comes with a "highly recommended" from both myself and the illustrious Mrs Movie-Man.
(For the full graphical review, please check out https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/02/20/one-manns-movies-film-review-emma-2020/ .)
Emma Woodhouse (Anya Taylor-Joy) is a rich, privileged 21 year-old looking after her elderly and quirky father (Bill Nighy) in the family stately home. She has never loved, despite the persistent presence of 'family friend' George Knightley (Johnny Flynn), but finds it entertaining to engage in matchmaking, particularly in respect to her somewhat lower class friend Harriet Smith (Mia Goth). Emma has high ambitions for Harriet... ideas significantly above what her social station and looks might suggest.
Emma has her sights on a dream.... the mystery man Frank Churchill (Callum Turner), son of wealthy local landowner Mr Weston (Rupert Graves). She has never actually met him, but is obsessed with his myth. #fangirl. As a source of immense annoyance to her, but often a source of valuable information on news of Churchill, is the village 'old maid' Miss Bates (Miranda Hart). "Such fun"!
But Emma's perfect life is about to face sticky times, as her machinations fail to yield the expected results and a stray comment, at a disastrous picnic, threatens to damage both her reputation and her social standing.
If you like your movies full of action and suspense, you are digging in the wrong place. "Emma" is slow... glacially slow... wallowing in beautiful bucolic scenes (with superb cinematography by Christopher Blauvelt); gorgeous costumes by Alexandra Byrne; and hair styling by Marese Langan.
The movie also benefits from a joyfully tight and funny script by debut screenwriter Eleanor Catton (a Man-Booker prize winner). This picks relentlessly at the strata of the class system set up by Jane Austen's novel: "Every body has their level" spits spurned suitor Mr Elton (Josh O'Connor).
I know Anya Taylor-Joy as the spirited Casey from "Split" and "Glass": she was impressive in "Split"; less so for me in the disappointing "Glass". But here, I found her UTTERLY mesmerising. She has such striking features - those eyes! - that she fully inhabits the role of the beautiful heiress who haunts multiple men sequentially. I even muttered the word "Oscar nomination" at the end of the film: though we are too early in the year to seriously go there.
An even bigger surprise was the actor playing George Knightley. Johnny Flynn has been in a number of TV shows I haven't seen, and a few films I haven't seen either (e.g. "Beast"). But I had the nagging feeling I knew him really well. The illustrious Mrs Movie Man clocked him: he's the Cineworld "plaid man"! (For those outside the UK or not patrons of Cineworld cinemas, he was the 'star' of a Cineworld advert that played over and Over AND OVER again for months on end before every film I saw. Arrrgggghhhh!).
Here, Flynn is excellent as the frustrated and brooding Austen-hunk. He even gets away with an ar*e-shot within a U-certificate!
Particularly strong in the supporting cast are Bill Nighy (being delightfully more restrained in his performance); Miranda Hart (being "Miranda", but perfectly cast) and Mia Goth (memorable for that eel-bath in "A Cure for Wellness").
And a big thank-you for a web review in the online Radio Times for naming one of the comical (and bizarrely uncredited) footmen as Angus Imrie - - the truly disturbed stepson of Claire in "Fleabag". It was driving me crazy where I knew him from!
The one criticism I would have is that I found the (perfectly fine and well-fitting) music, by David Schweitzer and Isobel Waller-Bridge (sister of Phoebe) poorly mixed within the soundtrack. There were times when I found it overly intrusive, suddenly ducking under dialogue and then BLASTING out again. Sometimes music should be at the forefront.... but more often it should be barely perceptible.
As you might guess....
...I loved this one. The story is brilliant (obsv!); the film is simply gorgeous to look at; the locations (including the village of Lower Slaughter in the Cotswolds and Wilton House - near me - in Salisbury) are magnificent and a blessing for the English Tourist Board.
All the more impressive then that this is the directorial feature of video/short director Autumn de Wilde.
This comes with a "highly recommended" from both myself and the illustrious Mrs Movie-Man.
(For the full graphical review, please check out https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/02/20/one-manns-movies-film-review-emma-2020/ .)
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Pitch Perfect 3 (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Aca-bysmal.
Mr Plot and Miss Tale were teenage sweethearts. They met at Storyville High School and inseparable, but were viciously cursed by a jealous school nurse, bitter from a recent split. Notwithstanding this setback, they realised that they were soul-mates, got engaged and were married in the following summer. Everyone wished them well, and spoke of the time when the sound of little Plots would ring out around their new house. Unfortunately, however hard they tried, no little Plot arrived. The ancient curse of the school nurse rang in their ears. They paid to see the most expensive doctors on Harley Street, but noone could help them. It turned out that not only was Mrs Plot infertile, but so was Mr Plot. It was hopeless, and because of an unfortunate conviction for marujiana possession in Mr Plot’s teenage years they couldn’t even adapt, sorry, adopt a little Plot from someone else. So they lived together with sadness and bitterness building up inside them. Would the curse ever be lifted? Would they work through their differences to find new purpose in life? Or would they part acromoniously with Mrs Plot joining a convent to sing mournful songs of grief and missed opportunities in the Swiss Alps? TO… BE…CONTINUED.
There. You were there, weren’t you? Living it. You want to know what happens next? Sure you do. You see, even I can come up with a story…. and I’m not a “professional Hollywood scriptwriter”.
Why then, I ask you. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why do the scriptwriters of Pitch Perfect 3 – Kay Cannon (the original PP screenwriter) and Mike White (“The Emoji Movie”) – think that this dreadfully lazy set of loosely connected scenes represent a viable basis for a movie? Is the view from the guys who green-lit this thing that the crowd that loved “Pitch Perfect” and the pretty dreadful sequel “Pitch Perfect 2” will pay their box office money regardless? Let’s advertise the hell out of it and cash in our chips before word of mouth gets out!?
In this ‘adventure’ the Bellas go on a US Forces overseas tour (though this is not really explained until they suddenly appear in Spain – what? how?). The really REALLY annoying commentators John (John Michael Higgins) and Gail (Elizabeth Banks, “Love and Mercy“) tag along, filming some lame half-arsed documentary about them until even the scriptwriters get fed up of that tedious plot-line and it quietly withers on the vine.
Fat Amy (is this still an acceptable nickname in 2017?) also runs into her nefarious father again after many years (John Lithgow, “Interstellar“, “Daddy’s Home 2“). Lithgow – sporting a wonderful Australian accent – is about the best thing in the film. The “plot” (sorry, I can barely bring myself to use that word) revolves around Daddy trying to get something of Amy’s that he needs, for reasons – given the yacht he sails – that makes no sense whatsoever. Will he succeed? Will the Bellas get selected to headline with DJ Khaled (who is apparently a thing, but I’ve never heard him on BBC Radio 2)? Does anyone really care?
As my wife pointed out, it’s a bit unfortunate that the only Bellas who are not stick-thin size zeroes are the obese and annoyingly loud one, the black lesbian one and two that nobody knows why they are there. The message to the target female teen audience is clear: if you want to be “in” you’d better diet… hard. Nice.
Looking for all the world like sticks of candy-cane. The size 0 Bellas.
What can I say that’s vaguely nice about this monstrosity?
Some of the acapella song and dance numbers are fun enough, particularly “Toxic” that opens the film;
The closing number by Anna Kendrick (“Table 19“) is quite appealing;
There are also about 5 funny lines that made me smile: not laugh… smile;
It’s also a relief that John and Gail, unlike in “Pitch Perfect 2“, only come out with one xenophobic/racist comment in the film (and that’s about the French, so that hardly counts 🙂 ).
And I’m out…
There will be no doubt die-hard teenage fans who will love this one too. But my wife was a great fan of the first film (as indeed was I); she tolerated the second one; but even she declared this to be “Aca-Awful”. It’s not as toxically dreadful as “Dirty Grandpa“… what could be? But, seriously, life is too short for this.
There. You were there, weren’t you? Living it. You want to know what happens next? Sure you do. You see, even I can come up with a story…. and I’m not a “professional Hollywood scriptwriter”.
Why then, I ask you. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why do the scriptwriters of Pitch Perfect 3 – Kay Cannon (the original PP screenwriter) and Mike White (“The Emoji Movie”) – think that this dreadfully lazy set of loosely connected scenes represent a viable basis for a movie? Is the view from the guys who green-lit this thing that the crowd that loved “Pitch Perfect” and the pretty dreadful sequel “Pitch Perfect 2” will pay their box office money regardless? Let’s advertise the hell out of it and cash in our chips before word of mouth gets out!?
In this ‘adventure’ the Bellas go on a US Forces overseas tour (though this is not really explained until they suddenly appear in Spain – what? how?). The really REALLY annoying commentators John (John Michael Higgins) and Gail (Elizabeth Banks, “Love and Mercy“) tag along, filming some lame half-arsed documentary about them until even the scriptwriters get fed up of that tedious plot-line and it quietly withers on the vine.
Fat Amy (is this still an acceptable nickname in 2017?) also runs into her nefarious father again after many years (John Lithgow, “Interstellar“, “Daddy’s Home 2“). Lithgow – sporting a wonderful Australian accent – is about the best thing in the film. The “plot” (sorry, I can barely bring myself to use that word) revolves around Daddy trying to get something of Amy’s that he needs, for reasons – given the yacht he sails – that makes no sense whatsoever. Will he succeed? Will the Bellas get selected to headline with DJ Khaled (who is apparently a thing, but I’ve never heard him on BBC Radio 2)? Does anyone really care?
As my wife pointed out, it’s a bit unfortunate that the only Bellas who are not stick-thin size zeroes are the obese and annoyingly loud one, the black lesbian one and two that nobody knows why they are there. The message to the target female teen audience is clear: if you want to be “in” you’d better diet… hard. Nice.
Looking for all the world like sticks of candy-cane. The size 0 Bellas.
What can I say that’s vaguely nice about this monstrosity?
Some of the acapella song and dance numbers are fun enough, particularly “Toxic” that opens the film;
The closing number by Anna Kendrick (“Table 19“) is quite appealing;
There are also about 5 funny lines that made me smile: not laugh… smile;
It’s also a relief that John and Gail, unlike in “Pitch Perfect 2“, only come out with one xenophobic/racist comment in the film (and that’s about the French, so that hardly counts 🙂 ).
And I’m out…
There will be no doubt die-hard teenage fans who will love this one too. But my wife was a great fan of the first film (as indeed was I); she tolerated the second one; but even she declared this to be “Aca-Awful”. It’s not as toxically dreadful as “Dirty Grandpa“… what could be? But, seriously, life is too short for this.