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Death on the Nile (2022)
Death on the Nile (2022)
2022 | Mystery
Most of the female cast. (2 more)
Poirot's backstory.
Kenneth Branagh's mustache.
Slow-moving with little payoff. (2 more)
Nothing substantial happens for the first hour.
Not entertaining. Perfect example of first world problems.
A Drowzy Whodunit Loaded with Mediocrity
Death on the Nile is the sequel to 2017’s Murder on the Orient Express with director and lead actor Kenneth Branagh returning. The mystery thriller is based on the 1937 novel of the same name by Agatha Christie. Death on the Nile has been adapted before as a 1978 film and as a 2004 episode of the Poirot television series starring David Suchet.

The 2022 film has been completed since December of 2019. The film was moved around several times due to COVID and was pushed back even further after Armie Hammer’s abuse allegations.

Mostly occurring shortly after the events of Murder on the Orient Express, Death on the Nile offers a bit of a look into the past of Hercule Poirot (Branagh). Taking place on the Yser Bridge in Belgium In 1914, a young Poirot advises his Belgian captain to attack the Germans spontaneously without warning. The attack is a success, but Poirot’s captain triggers an explosive after their victory. The explosion leaves Poirot’s face heavily scarred and offers an explanation as to why he always has a mustache.

Poirot reunites with his friend Bouc (Tom Bateman, who also returns from Murder on the Orient Express) in Egypt. Bouc is traveling with his mother Euphemia (Annette Bening) and their friends as they celebrate the marriage of Linnet Ridgeway (Gal Gadot) and Simon Doyle (Armie Hammer). To make matters more complicated, Simon was originally romantically involved with Jaqueline (Emma Mackey) who was also a former friend of Linnet. She now scornfully follows Simon and Linnet around Egypt.

The party travels on the S. S. Karnak, a steamship, along the river Nile. A murder eventually takes place on the steamship, which ignites a desire within Poirot to discover who the killer is before more suffer the same fate.

CGI and visual effects are used to make Kenneth Branagh look younger in the opening sequence of the film. The issue is he looks almost as bad as Henry Cavill did as Superman during the reshoots for Justice League. Branagh’s upper lip is almost nonexistent during this sequence and his philtrum seems to barely move when he speaks. It’s a visual nightmare and a terrible way to jump start a murder mystery.

Poirot travels to a Jazz nightclub where he’s first introduced to Simon, Jacqueline, and Linnet. Poirot spends much of the film embracing his OCD habits and people watching. This first nightclub sequence is about ten minutes long and you’re basically forced to watch people do nothing but dance for that entire time. Armie Hammer’s overly sexual dancing combined with his heavy breathing and constant sweating with both Gal Gadot and Emma Mackey is nauseating even without taking his sexual allegations into consideration.

Nothing really happens in the film for the first hour. Death on the Nile takes its time getting to the murder as little things begin to disappear (like a tube of paint) and Simon and Linnet are nearly crushed to death by a falling rock as they’re practically mid-coitus while sightseeing some pyramids. Emma Mackey gives a particularly strong performance. She is blinded by one-sided love in the film and her performance is a combination of passion, borderline insanity, and a broken heart.

Annette Bening is so cynical that it’s humorous and Jennifer Saunders adds just enough sarcastic bite to remind us ever so slightly of Absolutely Fabulous. Letitia Wright portrays business manager Rosalie Otterbourne. Her performance is intriguing because she’s always fighting for what she feels like she’s rightfully owed; whether it’s the right amount of money for her services or her happiness away from the limelight.

Like Murder on the Orient Express and other Agatha Christie adaptations, the enticing aspect of Death on the Nile is not only its massive and recognizable cast but also the fact that the story is written in a way that everyone is a suspect. The film’s nonchalant way of meandering towards that first murder is frustrating. A deliberate pace is one thing, but Death on the Nile is boring for the most part. Poirot is asked to take a case involving Jacqueline and the safety of Simon and Linnet, but is then mocked for being heartless and not being able to solve the case sooner. The people on board are likely meant to be scared, but come off as rich people not getting what they want the instant they want it.

Death on the Nile crawls towards a resolution you don’t feel invested in. Poirot’s backstory is interesting and there are some solid performances especially from the female cast, but the film otherwise feels like an unwanted game of Guess Who after you unwillingly chug two bottles of NyQuil and are asked to predict who the killer is after two long hours of tediousness.
  
We Own the Night (2007)
We Own the Night (2007)
2007 | Action, Drama
6
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Crime movie for crime movie fans
Contains spoilers, click to show
This is a crime film for crime movie fans. It has it all, from sex, violence, wires and gritty hits. But at its heart is family, here driven by the two leads, Mark Wahlberg and Jequium Phoenix, reunited in yet another of James Grey's films. The tone is dark, with a realistic look as we are taken on trip back to 1988 and a fictional cop family, led by the Deputy Chief Of Police (NYPD) Robert Duvall, who is the father to Wahlberg's up and coming cop, with Phoenix's nightclub manager, who is not a criminal as such, but is a disappointment to his family.

As the trio become embroiled in an organised crime syndicate, they find themselves under a very personal attack and must take down the mob boss to save their lives. The problem with this film is that it plods its way through, lacking enough tension or high key performances to carry, what to me, should have been a taunt screenplay. Instead, it's a bit flat, with Phoenix's trademark sleepy performance. On the other hand, it's quite good, driven by real motivations and characters, is what saves this from 5/10 rating is a fantastically low-key car chase which looked and felt phenomenal, ending with tragedy which would drive the story in a more dubious direction.

Phoenix will end up being granted special dispensation to become a cop in order to track down the mobster, a plot point that I found to be a little far-fetched, though maybe this sort of thing has happened, I don't know but it just tipped the film over the edge of plausibility. I feel that We Own The Night, the motto of the now disbanded NYPD Street Crime Unit, which is headed up here by the fictional Captain Joseph Grusinsky (Wahlberg) thinks very highly of itself as a top quality crime drama, up there with the likes of The Godfather (1972) and Heat (1995), but it is not. It's good and better if you like the genre, but this is a film set in the late 80′s, made in the style of The Godfather light, which was a quintessential 1970′s movie. It needed to pack more of a punch or have some of the style which films such as those of Michael Mann or Martin Scorsese.

A decent story, good cinematography and noble effort but failed to blow me away.
  
The Late Show (Renée Ballard, #1)
The Late Show (Renée Ballard, #1)
Michael Connelly | 2017 | Crime, Fiction & Poetry, Mystery
8
8.8 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
THE LATE SHOW introduces us to a new character in the Connelly canon: Renee Ballard, a young female detective in the LAPD striving to prove herself. Ballard works the night shift, where she picks up evening cases. But Ballard hates that she never gets to see an investigation to fruition--always turning her cases over to the daytime detectives. So when she is assigned two late shift cases, the shooting of a young female in a nightclub and the horrible beating of a transsexual prostitute, she finagles a way to stay involved with both. This means still working the night shift while--mostly secretly--tracking down leads on her cases during the day. In doing so, Ballard gets caught up in department politics and a case that could lead her to immense danger.

Connelly is just an excellent writer; I love all his books, and I was excited and interested to hear he was creating a new character. I've been in love with his Detective Bosch for years. This novel is basically vintage Connelly with a modern twist, with Ballard being extremely knowledgeable about the night shift and police procedure. Connelly is still clearly up-to-date on the current workings of a police department. At times, you almost forget you're not reading about Bosch and his shenanigans.

But, in saying that, I feel as if I don't give Renee Ballard true justice. She's a wonderful character--a strong, yet damaged female, who is smart and fascinating. It's a pleasure to read about such a complicated individual. Ballard is on the late shift (aka the late show) because she accused a former supervisor of sexual harassment and was subsequently blackballed. Yet she's dedicated to her job, almost to the point of obsession. At times, I was amazed she could get away with some of the stuff she pulled. (Sound like any other Connelly characters we know?)

Nonetheless, Ballard pulls us into an incredibly compelling mystery. It started a tad slow for me, but quickly picks up and remains quite mesmerizing. The cases are well-plotted and exciting, and Connelly gives us peeks into Ballard's personal life, without revealing everything. The novel spends a lot of time focusing on her thoughts and feelings, but is still quite compelling.

Overall, <i>I really enjoyed this one.</i> I'm excited to see Connelly with a new character and look forward to more of Renee Ballard in the future.

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The Human Tornado (1976)
The Human Tornado (1976)
1976 | Action, Comedy, Drama
If You're Looking For Something New...
In blaxploitation movie The Human Tornado, Martial arts street pimp Dolemite has to dodge a racist sheriff while helping his good friend Queen Bee retake control of her nightclub.

Acting: 5
Nobody is winning any awards in this movie, but it works in certain spots. There is a certain charisma around Rudy Ray Moore who plays Dolemite that is quite hard to deny. He’s just fun to watch and, if nothing else, you know he’s giving you 100%. The rest of the actors go about their lines with the strength of dark roast coffee. They’re never really believable, but it somehow works in the grand scheme of things.

Beginning: 10

Characters: 10
Dolemite makes the movie. He’s suave, got a way with the ladies, and takes absolutely no shits from the man. His martial arts are a thing of legend and he’s even taken it up a notch from the first movie! His one-liners will leave you with quotes for days. At one point in the movie, we see Dolemite taking a woman into his room. He tells her, “You really came at a bad time. I’m very very busy. Relax, take off your things, and I’ll see ya later.” And trust me when I say that’s only one line of MANY. The other characters make for good fun as well although, I have to admit, I don’t remember most of their names.

Cinematography/Visuals: 9

Conflict: 9

Entertainment Value: 7
It’s hard not to settle in and enjoy this movie. Once it gets rolling, it's pretty consistent and nonstop with the action and the constant events that never cease to amaze you. I laughed, I clapped, and just when I thought I had seen it all, the movie gave me something new!

Memorability: 6

Pace: 5
The Human Tornado takes quite a few twists and turns that does slow the movie down in spots. There were also a few scenes where you scratch your head wondering why it had to be in there in the first place. It’s not boring, but it definitely could have been shorter.

Plot: 6

Resolution: 3
One of the most headscratching endings I think I’ve seen in film. And I’ve seen a lot of movies. I’ll just leave it at that.

Overall: 70
If you haven’t watched a blaxploitation film yet, you are missing out. They are not just comedy, but it’s also a bit empowering watching the main characters rise up against the man. You could do worse than The Human Tornado. Random Fact: This is one of Ernie Hudson’s first movie, the black Ghosbuster himself!
  
Reminiscence (2021)
Reminiscence (2021)
2021 | Mystery, Romance, Sci-Fi
4
5.7 (7 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Soggy special effects. (1 more)
Ramin Djawadi's music score
Script (with voiceovers is dire) (0 more)
I’ll only remember how disappointing it was.
It's the near future and global warming and a recent war have drastically changed life in Miami. The days are too hot to do anything other than sleep, and the oceans have risen deluging the city. Ex-military colleagues Nick Bannister (Hugh Jackman) and 'Watts' Sanders (Thandiwe Newton) run a 'reminiscence' business, allowing customers to re-experience memories from their past as if they were there. But when nightclub singer Mae (Rebecca Ferguson) begs for their help in finding her lost keys Nick's heart, life and livelihood are thrown into turmoil.

Positives:
- The special effects showing a submerged Miami are impressive enough.
- I enjoyed the soundtrack by "Westworld" and "Game of Thrones" composer Ramin Djawadi.

Negatives:
- The script is dreadful. Hugh Jackman's does a voiceover.... and regular readers of mine will know my feelings about those!!! Here he drones on incessantly about things like "memories being beads on time's necklace". Outside of the voiceover, the dialogue generally doesn't sound remotely like things that people would say to each other. There are some cringe-inducing segments of speechifying. That's when you can actually understand what's being said: I found the sound mix makes that really difficult with some of the lines.
- This seemed to me to be reflected in the performances of Jackman, Ferguson and Newton. Star-power indeed, but it appeared to me that they didn't have confidence in the words. Fans of the trio will, I think, be disappointed. (And I am a big fan of Rebecca Ferguson. She is again gorgeous here and - unlike in "The Greatest Showman" - actually gets to sing).

Summary Thoughts on "Reminiscence": This film is a big disappointment to me. When I first saw the trailer, I went "YES, YES, YES!!". It looked like an interesting post-apocalyptic sci-fi with perhaps elements of "Inception", "Waterworld" and "Flatliners" thrown in. Jackman even gets to tussle with sheets on a rooftop again! (Was anyone else playing "A Million Dreams" in their head?). But then came the film itself. The result was that about two-thirds in I was really willing it to end. (On principle, I don't walk out of movies). To be fair, the story did pick up slightly towards the conclusion, so I could quietly put my 1* rating away.

I really feel sorry for writer/director Lisa Joy for writing such a negative review. The executive producer of "Westworld" (who's also written and directed some episodes) had secured Jackman and brought some of her "Westworld" talent with her. I'm sure she put her heart and soul into this as her directorial feature debut. But I'm afraid it just did nothing for me and - given the talent available - came across as a wasted opportunity.

(For the full graphical review, please check out onemannsmovies on the web, Facebook and Tiktok. Thanks.)
  
The Stories You Tell
The Stories You Tell
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Private Investigator Roxane Weary and her brother, Andrew, are night owls, but it's still never good news when she gets a call from Andrew in the middle of the night. This time, Andrew tells her that he's just had the strangest visit from Addison Stowe, a young woman who used to work with him at the hotel where he tends bar. She seemed panicked and scared, begging to used Andrew's phone, and she disappeared almost as quickly as she arrived. At Andrew's pleading, Roxane starts looking for Addison, but she quickly realizes this is not a straightforward case. Soon the police are on Addison's trail--and Andrew's too. Add a dead cop to the mix, and it looks like Andrew could be mixed up in something serious.


"Clients hired me to find lots of things, and I took them all seriously--but people, most of all."


So, I won't lie. I have a particular affinity for one Roxane Weary, our sarcastic, intelligent, bisexual PI. This is the third book in Roxane's series, and I just love them all. You know how you can give your iPhone a name? Well, one of mine (I have one for work and one for personal use, okay) is named Roxane. This gritty PI has wormed her way into my heart. And I've said it before and I'll say it again--it's just so refreshing to have a bisexual character in mainstream fiction who is real. She's not a crazy person or a murderer, she's just a smart, complex character. The main character. And when Roxane is talking, it sounds like my own friends hanging out. It makes me happy.


"The state of straight people was troubling."


This book finds Roxane on a slightly personal quest, as her search for Addison gets real fast, once it looks like Andrew could be in some big time trouble. Her searching leads her to a shady nightclub--including its shifty manager--and some of Addison's suburban friends. We also, as mentioned, have a dead cop, meaning that Tom is in full force in this one. Tom is the former partner of Roxane's late father, and Roxane's old flame. I'm happy to report that there's plenty happening in Roxane's personal life--both with Catherine and Tom. Lots of sexual tension and witty banter on a variety of fronts. (And I am the only one who would be perfectly fine if Catherine just disappeared? Roxane deserves someone who treats her properly.)

Anyway, despite a cast of recurring characters, this one will standalone just fine. That being said, if you haven't read the first two books, I highly recommend them. The conversational first-person style Lepionka uses for Roxane is amazing and draws you in from the start. I adore Roxane's voice. (Partially because I deem her my kindred spirit--see below.)


"Apparently he was one of those people who listened to and deleted messages instead of just reading the transcription and ignoring it like I did."


Roxane is a witty, awesome, complex main character, and she's nearly impossible not to love. The story itself is dark and twisted, with plenty of twists and turns to keep you guessing. No gimmicks, just a good mystery. There's lots of humor, lots of surprises, and lots of Roxane, one of the best PIs around. 4.5 stars.