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Martin Kippenberger: Paintings Volume III: Catalogue Raisonne of the Paintings 1987 - 1992: Volume III
Gisela Capitain and Regina Fiorito
Book
Martin Kippenberger's diverse oeuvre comprises paintings, drawings, sculptures, installations,...
A Brief History of the Spanish Language
Book
Since its publication in 2007, A Brief History of the Spanish Language has become the leading...
Andy K (10821 KP) rated Captain Marvel (2019) in Movies
Jul 13, 2019
More female Superhero movies please!
I had read a lot of criticism of Brie Larson since I am so late seeing this film; however, I thought she held her own against Samuel L. Jackson and Jude Law in this first major female led Marvel Cinematic Universe film. Maybe my expectations were a tad lower since I had heard of lot of opinions beforehand.
The origin story of Carol Danvers was unknown prior to seeing this film so I cannot comment on whether filmmakers got that correct or not (I would imagine they did).
The Stan Lee opening made my tear up.
I did think the movie dragged some in the middle after Carol gets thrown back to 1995 USA. The Blockbusters scene was classic and her introduction to Nick Fury and SHIELD was good. Things picked up a little for the car/subway chase, but then slowed down again as events unfolded and were explained.
I was happy there was not the humongous CGI supervillain at the end and that fight was very good.
You cannot ever complain about the look of a MCU as that is one thing they never disappoint on for sure. The humor I thought was a good balance: not too serious and not too wacky either.
The cat definitely stole every scene they were in for sure.
Overall, very entertaining film and a great start to other female Marvel heroines coming us us hopefully not too far away in the future!
Thank you Stan!
The origin story of Carol Danvers was unknown prior to seeing this film so I cannot comment on whether filmmakers got that correct or not (I would imagine they did).
The Stan Lee opening made my tear up.
I did think the movie dragged some in the middle after Carol gets thrown back to 1995 USA. The Blockbusters scene was classic and her introduction to Nick Fury and SHIELD was good. Things picked up a little for the car/subway chase, but then slowed down again as events unfolded and were explained.
I was happy there was not the humongous CGI supervillain at the end and that fight was very good.
You cannot ever complain about the look of a MCU as that is one thing they never disappoint on for sure. The humor I thought was a good balance: not too serious and not too wacky either.
The cat definitely stole every scene they were in for sure.
Overall, very entertaining film and a great start to other female Marvel heroines coming us us hopefully not too far away in the future!
Thank you Stan!
Volo's Guide to Monsters (Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition)
7.9
Rate It
Tabletop Game
Immerse yourself in monster lore in this supplement for the world’s greatest roleplaying game ...
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Dracula Untold (2014) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
The latest Dracula movie attempts to honor an ancient story while adding some new spice and bringing the usual graphics flair we’ve come to expect from Hollywood, but falls short.
Dracula Untold, as the name implies, is an origin story for the pop culture father-of-all-vampires. Luke Evans bears the mantle of Prince Vlad Tepes of the Dracula Clan. (Not Count, but Prince.) What about the King, you ask? Well, they didn’t cover this, but there is no King.
Luke Evans is one of my favorite actors in Hollywood right now, and he does this role justice. The rest of the cast contributed solid performances as well, as best they could with sub par script, and poor direction. Charles Dance was a particular pleasure to witness.
This film is Gary Shore’s directorial debut, and it’s easy to see the marks of a neophyte director. Had it been in the hands of someone more experienced, it would have been a juggernaut of a Fall film. Even so, he did pretty well enough, all things considered. According to his work history, Shore was an electrician until 1998, then disappeared until 2014. This is his second film so far this year.
Dracula Untold opens with the story of Vlad the Impaler, as told by his son. Vlad was shipped off to the Turks to become a trained and conditioned weapon. He earned his title by impaling an entire village for the Turkish army. Vlad was a deadly force on the battlefield, but they eventually allowed him to go home, where he could start a family and rule Transylvania. It is painfully obvious that the usual blood-thirsty character was meant to become a hero for this new tale.
The Turks return to take more boys, like they did him, but he refuses. This draws the Turks’ ire, and they demand retribution for the insult and insubordination. Desperate, he seeks out a monster in the mountains who was the REAL first vampire — a man who made a deal with a demon.
Vlad is granted temporary powers, paying a heavy price in the process. After this, the story really ramps up.
This film left me feeling as if something was missing. I attribute this to missing explanations, plot holes (like the lack of King), and several other missteps. Normally, I can look past plot holes. A strong enough movie will keep me from noticing them until I’m rethinking it later. In this case, they were too distracting. The music was unimpressive and not at all memorable. The one liners were forced and distracting, instead of powerful and emotional.
This movie is worth seeing if you’re a fan of vampires in general or Dracula in particular. That said, I wouldn’t advise high expectations. Great aspects were abundant, but there were just as many failings. If you feel compelled to see it, wait until you can see it at home, and save the money.
Dracula Untold, as the name implies, is an origin story for the pop culture father-of-all-vampires. Luke Evans bears the mantle of Prince Vlad Tepes of the Dracula Clan. (Not Count, but Prince.) What about the King, you ask? Well, they didn’t cover this, but there is no King.
Luke Evans is one of my favorite actors in Hollywood right now, and he does this role justice. The rest of the cast contributed solid performances as well, as best they could with sub par script, and poor direction. Charles Dance was a particular pleasure to witness.
This film is Gary Shore’s directorial debut, and it’s easy to see the marks of a neophyte director. Had it been in the hands of someone more experienced, it would have been a juggernaut of a Fall film. Even so, he did pretty well enough, all things considered. According to his work history, Shore was an electrician until 1998, then disappeared until 2014. This is his second film so far this year.
Dracula Untold opens with the story of Vlad the Impaler, as told by his son. Vlad was shipped off to the Turks to become a trained and conditioned weapon. He earned his title by impaling an entire village for the Turkish army. Vlad was a deadly force on the battlefield, but they eventually allowed him to go home, where he could start a family and rule Transylvania. It is painfully obvious that the usual blood-thirsty character was meant to become a hero for this new tale.
The Turks return to take more boys, like they did him, but he refuses. This draws the Turks’ ire, and they demand retribution for the insult and insubordination. Desperate, he seeks out a monster in the mountains who was the REAL first vampire — a man who made a deal with a demon.
Vlad is granted temporary powers, paying a heavy price in the process. After this, the story really ramps up.
This film left me feeling as if something was missing. I attribute this to missing explanations, plot holes (like the lack of King), and several other missteps. Normally, I can look past plot holes. A strong enough movie will keep me from noticing them until I’m rethinking it later. In this case, they were too distracting. The music was unimpressive and not at all memorable. The one liners were forced and distracting, instead of powerful and emotional.
This movie is worth seeing if you’re a fan of vampires in general or Dracula in particular. That said, I wouldn’t advise high expectations. Great aspects were abundant, but there were just as many failings. If you feel compelled to see it, wait until you can see it at home, and save the money.
LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Hawkeye in TV
Dec 23, 2021
Contains spoilers, click to show
Marvel Studios continue their streak of enjoyable mini-series with Hawkeye, a series that was met with a fair amount of indifference upon its announcement, which is understandable. On the surface , Clint Barton isn't the most exciting Avenger to build a series around, but Hawkeye surprises with a team of decent writers, and a story adapted from Matt Fraction and David Aja's acclaimed comic book run.
Most of Barton's specific plot beats revolve around his family, and his loss of hearing. The human elements ensure that he remains a relatable, street level character. The "Hawkeye" that this series is really about of course is MCU newcomer Kate Bishop, a fan favourite comic character who is portrayed wonderfully by Hailee Steinfeld. The series is essentially her origin story, and I for one can't wait to see her in future projects. The chemistry between Steinfeld and Jeremy Renner is great, and provides a huge amount of heart to the overall story.
Florence Pugh has a welcome return as Yelena, and her involvement ensures that Hawkeye is as much of a tribute to Black Widow as anything else, and serves some much needed closure for her concluded story arc that has been frustratingly absent since the events of Avengers: Endgame.
Elsewhere, the likes of Vera Farmiga, Tony Dalton, and Alaqua Cox make up a strong supporting cast, and sets up an upcoming series for Echo, a deeper cut from the Marvel vaults, but one that I'm intrigued to see develop.
And then of course, there's motherfucking Kingpin. Arguably the most popular character from the Netflix shows, the decision to bring Vincent Donofrio back as Wilson Fisk is a smart one. His presence in the MCU is incredibly exciting to me, and Donofrio does and excellent job once again, at filling the boots of one of Marvel's most intimidating villains. Welcome back sir.
There are plenty of exciting action set pieces sprinkled throughout (a car chase involving various trick arrows is a particular highlight) and the decision to keep Hawkeye firmly street level in its execution is a wise one. It allows New York City to feel like a character in it's own right, and the Christmas setting adds to that. It does feel like a proper holiday watch at times, and this is probably why the show feels so goofy on more than one occasion. I know that the MCU likes to keep the mood light for the most part, and is often found guilty of undercutting serious or epic moments with jokes. Hawkeye occasionally goes overboard with these moments, especially in the finale. It's not enough to derail what is an incredibly entertaining series, but it's a little frustrating.
Overall though, Hawkeye is another decent and fleshed out mini series in this sprawling franchise. The extra runtime of a season has ensured that all of the MCU shows this year have been high quality and worth watching. I just hope it's not too long until we get a Kate Bishop/Yelena reunion!
Most of Barton's specific plot beats revolve around his family, and his loss of hearing. The human elements ensure that he remains a relatable, street level character. The "Hawkeye" that this series is really about of course is MCU newcomer Kate Bishop, a fan favourite comic character who is portrayed wonderfully by Hailee Steinfeld. The series is essentially her origin story, and I for one can't wait to see her in future projects. The chemistry between Steinfeld and Jeremy Renner is great, and provides a huge amount of heart to the overall story.
Florence Pugh has a welcome return as Yelena, and her involvement ensures that Hawkeye is as much of a tribute to Black Widow as anything else, and serves some much needed closure for her concluded story arc that has been frustratingly absent since the events of Avengers: Endgame.
Elsewhere, the likes of Vera Farmiga, Tony Dalton, and Alaqua Cox make up a strong supporting cast, and sets up an upcoming series for Echo, a deeper cut from the Marvel vaults, but one that I'm intrigued to see develop.
And then of course, there's motherfucking Kingpin. Arguably the most popular character from the Netflix shows, the decision to bring Vincent Donofrio back as Wilson Fisk is a smart one. His presence in the MCU is incredibly exciting to me, and Donofrio does and excellent job once again, at filling the boots of one of Marvel's most intimidating villains. Welcome back sir.
There are plenty of exciting action set pieces sprinkled throughout (a car chase involving various trick arrows is a particular highlight) and the decision to keep Hawkeye firmly street level in its execution is a wise one. It allows New York City to feel like a character in it's own right, and the Christmas setting adds to that. It does feel like a proper holiday watch at times, and this is probably why the show feels so goofy on more than one occasion. I know that the MCU likes to keep the mood light for the most part, and is often found guilty of undercutting serious or epic moments with jokes. Hawkeye occasionally goes overboard with these moments, especially in the finale. It's not enough to derail what is an incredibly entertaining series, but it's a little frustrating.
Overall though, Hawkeye is another decent and fleshed out mini series in this sprawling franchise. The extra runtime of a season has ensured that all of the MCU shows this year have been high quality and worth watching. I just hope it's not too long until we get a Kate Bishop/Yelena reunion!
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Captain Marvel (2019) in Movies
Mar 20, 2019
A Solid Taster Before the Main Event
Set in the 1990’s, Captain Marvel follows the story of Carol Danvers (Brie Larson), a powerful woman caught in the middle of an intergalactic war.
Acting: 10
Beginning: 5
The beginning doesn’t necessarily hook you right away as it focuses more on immersing you in the world. You come to learn that all of this intro info was an important setup, but it really is just “meh” when you’re watching it. Thor: Ragnarok beginning, this is not.
Characters: 10
Danvers/Captain Marvel is a strong embodiment of a kick-ass superhero. This is not your typical you’re-pretty-good-for-a-girl type of hero. She tears enemies and whole scenes apart and does it in such a cool stylish way. I love how she comes into her own throughout the film.
Marvel is flanked by some other stars that keep the movie interesting (Sam Jackson’s Fury is always a treat), but I must take a moment to recognize the true hero of the film: Goose the cat. I’m not even a cat guy, but this little guy truly won my heart. With a personality all his own, he makes you love every scene he’s in. Goose is life.
Cinematography/Visuals: 10
Conflict: 10
Genre: 8
Memorability: 10
Pace: 10
The story moves in a non-linear fashion forcing you to pay attention for fear of missing something. Because it’s constantly jumping back and forth between past and present, you’re constantly unraveling new things in the mystery of Carol’s life. The action doesn’t let up for long enough for boredom to onset. Plus, how can you be bored with Goose on the loose?
Plot: 10
While you can kind of see the outcome from a mile away, at least they got to the final destination in unique fashion. Carol’s story is told with a special flare that seems to fit her perfectly. Origin stories can be hard to pull off, especially when they have been done and re-done and, sometimes (Spider-Man, I’m looking at you) done again. This one not just sets up a powerful hero but also leaves a powerful impact.
Resolution: 10
Overall: 93
Captain Marvel is easily one of my favorite MCU films and that’s high praise considering how many solid movies they have put out. It’s not just a blockbuster film, but one with heart and a solid message. Want to know something else: I actually like the movie more than Wonder Woman. There. I said it.
Acting: 10
Beginning: 5
The beginning doesn’t necessarily hook you right away as it focuses more on immersing you in the world. You come to learn that all of this intro info was an important setup, but it really is just “meh” when you’re watching it. Thor: Ragnarok beginning, this is not.
Characters: 10
Danvers/Captain Marvel is a strong embodiment of a kick-ass superhero. This is not your typical you’re-pretty-good-for-a-girl type of hero. She tears enemies and whole scenes apart and does it in such a cool stylish way. I love how she comes into her own throughout the film.
Marvel is flanked by some other stars that keep the movie interesting (Sam Jackson’s Fury is always a treat), but I must take a moment to recognize the true hero of the film: Goose the cat. I’m not even a cat guy, but this little guy truly won my heart. With a personality all his own, he makes you love every scene he’s in. Goose is life.
Cinematography/Visuals: 10
Conflict: 10
Genre: 8
Memorability: 10
Pace: 10
The story moves in a non-linear fashion forcing you to pay attention for fear of missing something. Because it’s constantly jumping back and forth between past and present, you’re constantly unraveling new things in the mystery of Carol’s life. The action doesn’t let up for long enough for boredom to onset. Plus, how can you be bored with Goose on the loose?
Plot: 10
While you can kind of see the outcome from a mile away, at least they got to the final destination in unique fashion. Carol’s story is told with a special flare that seems to fit her perfectly. Origin stories can be hard to pull off, especially when they have been done and re-done and, sometimes (Spider-Man, I’m looking at you) done again. This one not just sets up a powerful hero but also leaves a powerful impact.
Resolution: 10
Overall: 93
Captain Marvel is easily one of my favorite MCU films and that’s high praise considering how many solid movies they have put out. It’s not just a blockbuster film, but one with heart and a solid message. Want to know something else: I actually like the movie more than Wonder Woman. There. I said it.
Eleanor (1463 KP) rated Indelible (Grant County, #4) in Books
Jul 23, 2019
Better then the last but still not in the same league as the first couple of books in this series....
This is the fourth in the Grant County series and for a series that started so strong (I loved the first two books) I was really disappointed with this. I would recommend approaching this series in order as they do carry a lot of emotional baggage through the series.
This was the first one I listened to as an audiobook and the Southern American accents used were a bit grating for me, so I'll try to stick to the books in the future for this series (obviously a personal preference.)
With a shootout occuring in the town in the present day, we get flashbacks to an “origin” type story 12 years earlier, which sets out to give the reasoning behind the attack. It’s a pretty shocking attack and the present day part was tense.
This book is very focused on two of the main characters from the series, Medical examiner Sara Linton and her now ex husband / current boyfriend (it’s a complicated relationship) Police Chief Jeffrey. In the flashback parts of this book we see Sara and Jeffrey taking a trip to Jefferies hometown where his best friend ends up shooting someone and a body is found from Jefferies distant past. I didn’t find the investigation part here as engaging as in the previous books, with too much focus on what Jeffrey was like as a lad.
I think my main issue with this particular book is I just don’t like Jeffery and having so much dedicated to back story for him didn’t endear him any more to me. I came out of that part of the story still not liking him or really understanding why Sara is so in love with him (I suppose love is blind.)
Although I enjoyed the action packed present day shootout it still had a character issue in the form of the ever complicated Lena Adams. She is back to being a cop and this is her first day back (talk about bad timing!) I really have no idea why they are letting her back on the force she just seems to be a terrible cop (and not a particularly nice person) who is suffering from PTSD.
I feel I may be being too harsh on this book and I can fully understand people who love the characters in this series (or love to hate main characters) enjoying this book. I just prefer this series when it’s slightly more focused on a case rather than their personal lives.
This was the first one I listened to as an audiobook and the Southern American accents used were a bit grating for me, so I'll try to stick to the books in the future for this series (obviously a personal preference.)
With a shootout occuring in the town in the present day, we get flashbacks to an “origin” type story 12 years earlier, which sets out to give the reasoning behind the attack. It’s a pretty shocking attack and the present day part was tense.
This book is very focused on two of the main characters from the series, Medical examiner Sara Linton and her now ex husband / current boyfriend (it’s a complicated relationship) Police Chief Jeffrey. In the flashback parts of this book we see Sara and Jeffrey taking a trip to Jefferies hometown where his best friend ends up shooting someone and a body is found from Jefferies distant past. I didn’t find the investigation part here as engaging as in the previous books, with too much focus on what Jeffrey was like as a lad.
I think my main issue with this particular book is I just don’t like Jeffery and having so much dedicated to back story for him didn’t endear him any more to me. I came out of that part of the story still not liking him or really understanding why Sara is so in love with him (I suppose love is blind.)
Although I enjoyed the action packed present day shootout it still had a character issue in the form of the ever complicated Lena Adams. She is back to being a cop and this is her first day back (talk about bad timing!) I really have no idea why they are letting her back on the force she just seems to be a terrible cop (and not a particularly nice person) who is suffering from PTSD.
I feel I may be being too harsh on this book and I can fully understand people who love the characters in this series (or love to hate main characters) enjoying this book. I just prefer this series when it’s slightly more focused on a case rather than their personal lives.
Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated A Quiet Place (2018) in Movies
Sep 25, 2019
A family is forced to live in silence while hiding from creatures that hunt by sound.
When the trailer for this one was running I honestly thought I was going to be scared witless. It made me so uneasy that I was seriously contemplating not going to see it. I don't mind watching horror films, but I feel a lot more comfortable about it when I'm at home in a brightly lit room.
I sucked it up though and went anyway figuring that having a double bill with something I knew would definitely entertain me would be an easy way to calm my nerves.
We start the film 89 (was is 89? I've got a brain like a sieve) days into the events of A Quiet Place. The monsters are here, and those that are left are doing their best to stay quiet and survive. I've already reached a point where I am a little grumbly. When it announced where it was in the story I was hoping for some kind of jumping timeline showing you a before and after style tale... because surely they're not just going to gloss over the whole "how" of the aliens coming to Earth... Oh.
I can't really fault the bit in the middle of the film. I found it quite enjoyable. There are lots of questions that you wonder about, that I always wonder about in apocalyptic movies. But that's where you have to give them leeway for artistic license I guess.
The part of the story that this film tells is good, and you can follow the journey of the family understanding everything even with the limited dialogue. There's some superb acting at work from everyone involved and I've been recommending it to anyone that asks about it.
With quite a few of us in the cinema it was amusing to see everyone's reaction throughout the movie. Every time someone crinkled a packet or opened a fizzy drink there were noticeable pauses as if we'd all just thought "Oh my god that was too loud" before realising that it's just a movie we're watching.
The main reason this one gets a three star rating and not a four is not only for the lack of origin story but for what I consider to be a cheesy ending suitable for a comedy action film and not what I had been to see. The locked and loaded ending was the sort of thing you'd expect to see in a Guardians Of The Galaxy movie where the end credit are punctuated by shots of our heroes going into battle. A perplexing end.
When the trailer for this one was running I honestly thought I was going to be scared witless. It made me so uneasy that I was seriously contemplating not going to see it. I don't mind watching horror films, but I feel a lot more comfortable about it when I'm at home in a brightly lit room.
I sucked it up though and went anyway figuring that having a double bill with something I knew would definitely entertain me would be an easy way to calm my nerves.
We start the film 89 (was is 89? I've got a brain like a sieve) days into the events of A Quiet Place. The monsters are here, and those that are left are doing their best to stay quiet and survive. I've already reached a point where I am a little grumbly. When it announced where it was in the story I was hoping for some kind of jumping timeline showing you a before and after style tale... because surely they're not just going to gloss over the whole "how" of the aliens coming to Earth... Oh.
I can't really fault the bit in the middle of the film. I found it quite enjoyable. There are lots of questions that you wonder about, that I always wonder about in apocalyptic movies. But that's where you have to give them leeway for artistic license I guess.
The part of the story that this film tells is good, and you can follow the journey of the family understanding everything even with the limited dialogue. There's some superb acting at work from everyone involved and I've been recommending it to anyone that asks about it.
With quite a few of us in the cinema it was amusing to see everyone's reaction throughout the movie. Every time someone crinkled a packet or opened a fizzy drink there were noticeable pauses as if we'd all just thought "Oh my god that was too loud" before realising that it's just a movie we're watching.
The main reason this one gets a three star rating and not a four is not only for the lack of origin story but for what I consider to be a cheesy ending suitable for a comedy action film and not what I had been to see. The locked and loaded ending was the sort of thing you'd expect to see in a Guardians Of The Galaxy movie where the end credit are punctuated by shots of our heroes going into battle. A perplexing end.
Neil Goddard (3 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies
Feb 27, 2020
It all looked soooo promising
Contains spoilers, click to show
Let me say this upfront; David Harbour looks f---ing boss as Hellboy. The makeup is far superior to that of Ron Perlman, not that there was anything wrong with Ron Perlman’s, but with this new incarnation it’s all in the eyes. Deep red, sunken, pained. Sadly, that is all I can say about this movie that is one hundred percent genuinely positive. There are positives however, but they come with a big ‘however’.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.
THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.
THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.