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Scream by Siouxsie & The Banshees
Scream by Siouxsie & The Banshees
1978 | Punk
8.1 (7 Ratings)
Album Favorite

"This one is down to my best friend, my dearest friend from when I was three years old – we met at nursery school and we grew up together. We grew through our teens and went through puberty together, starting to experiment with alcohol and cigarettes and boys. She had very lenient parents whereas my parents were really old-school and sort of conventional; she had a very unconventional family life. She and I used to be able to just do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted, up in her attic bedroom. 

 Because I'd been caught smoking by my parents, I didn't have any pocket money but my best friend Sarah did. She was able to buy records that I couldn't get my hands on – she bought The Scream – I'm not entirely sure why she bought The Scream, but she played it in her bedroom and I can still remember her putting the needle on the vinyl and just that record beginning, starting: I was mesmerised. I just was like, 'What the fuck is this? And who is this? And what is it?' 

 We just became quickly obsessed. We finally saw them on Top Of The Pops and I just fell madly and obsessively in love with Siouxsie and the whole band for that matter: I just loved how they looked like nothing I'd ever laid eyes on before.
 
 Up until that point I'd only been exposed to very conforming women in music. I'd never seen someone who identified as a female but looked somewhat androgynous and referenced Native American Indian culture, which excited me for whatever reason. She had this incredible, strange style that seemed very confrontational and rebellious. She just excited me visually and musically. 

 I've been obsessed with her ever since and my love for her has never waned at all. She's another artist who's never, ever let me down. I still go back to those records over and over again because there's a certain power in Siouxsie's delivery that's very hard to find amongst most female-identifying artists. She still sounds unique, and she still sounds like she can wipe the floor with any of us.
 
 I was starting to experiment with what my version of what adulthood meant and I think I was 13 or 14; I became obsessed with 'Suburban Relapse' and 'Nicotine'. 'Suburban Relapse' had such a strong narrative: I just could see everything in detail through her lyrics. She was very erudite and I was just so mesmerised by her."

Source
  
TW
The Weight of Water
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
After reading One by Sarah Crossan I wanted delve into more of her works. This is Sarah's debut novel and I really enjoyed it. What makes her books unique is that they are written in verse, so you can either read it like poetry or just as a normal book.

The weight of water follows Kasienka and her mother who are Polish migrants travelling to the UK to find her father who upped and left one day never to return, all they know is that he lives in Coventry. They manage to rent a bed sit with one bed that they have to share and with little money Kasienka's mum takes on a hospital job. Kasienka's mum is determined to find her husband and as Kasi's English is better than hers she is forced to walk streets of Coventry looking for her dad. Not only does she have to contend with her mum, she also started a new school where she doesn't fit in and becomes a target to bullies. The only thing that Kasienka was good at was swimming which she loved and was also pretty good at. It was where she could escape, It was there she met William.

I loved this book, it is so realistic, raw and heart - breaking. In the UK we have thousands of Polish people come to live in the UK sometimes for work and sometimes for unknown reasons but what we forget is how hard and challenging it can be for them to arrive in a country they are not familiar with and the language barrier.You also forget how difficult it must be at school for them - due to Kasi's language barrier the teacher was not aware of how intelligent she was and enrolled her in a younger year. Kasi is 12 and a very intelligent girl who just wants to fit in at school or even better to return to Poland with her Mother and Father. You see the struggles that she has to overcome and her developing and hitting puberty. I really liked the fact that Sarah Crossan didn't shy away and told us Kasi's periods starting and her becoming more body conscious it makes it so much more real and relatable.

The bit that I really liked was when Kasienka realised that she had treated a new girl at her school back in Poland just as she was being by the bullies in her school, she wasn't perfect and she knew it.

This is a brilliant coming of age story that could be classed as middle grade though it has more depth to it as deals with Poverty, bullying, immigration and families

I definitely recommend this book for anyone that wants to read YA,Poetry or contemporary

Overall I rated 4.5 out 5 stars.
  
Gather the Daughters
Gather the Daughters
Jennie Melamed | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry, Science Fiction/Fantasy
10
7.3 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
The first thing which attracted me to this book, was the cover; I think it’s absolutely stunning and incredibly mysterious. The second reason why I picked it up, was the blurb; cult on an island, I was absolutely intrigued with this, and it absolutely drawn me in once I started it.

This book absolutely hooked me with its diverse and complex characters. This novel is told by children, sharing different perspectives of the events happening in the book, and beautifully opening up their personalities and feelings. I loved how Melamed is giving insight into different lives, first of children, and then how it feels, once you are forced into adulthood. There is a great variety of characters to choose from, and everyone will be able to find their favourite. My favourite one was Janey, I absolutely loved her strength and her wish to do something, to change the lives of young girls. All the characters are carrying so much pain and sadness that it literary breaks your heart while reading the book. That’s why, if you are sensitive towards child abuse and incest, you might want to skip this one.

The plot of this book was incredibly well thought through and very amusing. Melamed’s experience with traumatised children was shining through in this novel. The whole narrative travels through seasons, starting in spring and finishing in spring again. Every season brought in different stories and different feelings. I really enjoyed the creative twists and turns in this novel, which made it more enticing and didn’t leave me bored. The topics discussed in this book are endless; every girl shared the issue they were facing, that’s why this book is really fascinating and intriguing. Even though this is a work of fiction, there are some of the described things still happening in this world. For example, child marriage and abusing children as soon as they hit puberty, is still a common practice in South Asia and Middle East, and is absolutely horrifying.

The writing style of this novel is gorgeous and I absolutely loved it. The chapters are decent length and didn’t make me bored while reading. The ending of the book rounded up everything really nicely, leaving me satisfied, but questioning at the same time. I think it is absolutely stunning debut of Melamed and I will be looking forward to read more of her books. So, to conclude, this is a very dark and sorrowful novel filled with complex family relations and children, who want to be children as long as they can. I do strongly recommend this book and I hope people find it as fascinating, as I did.
Was given this book by publisher for honest review.
  
Carrie
Carrie
Stephen King | 2011 | Fiction & Poetry, Horror, Science Fiction/Fantasy
8
8.3 (72 Ratings)
Book Rating
Full review can be found on my blog - www.diaryofdifference.com
I am probably one of the last people on Earth that hasn’t read a Stephen King book. Carrie is the first book I decided to read. People have been suggesting it to me for a while, and it seemed like a nice short bit of introduction to Stephen’s horror world.

Also, a special thank you to my friend Dave, for constantly recommending Stephen King books to me, until I finally decided to listen to him. He seemed to be right!

Now - Carrie.

A book about a girl that lives with her crazy religious mother in a creepy house. A girl who is being bullied at school all the time. A story about a girl that has the ability to move objects as she wishes. And a prom night, where everything escalates.

Carrie is a sixteen year old girl. And she has been raised by her mother, who is a religious person in a - not healthy way. When Carrie misbehaves, she is sent to a closet to pray for the whole day. Even though Carrie doesn’t share her mother’s beliefs, she can’t really stand up and fight for herself.

The plot gets a grip when Carrie has her first period at the age of sixteen. She thinks she will bleed to death. And all her classmates are laughing at her, because she is stupid. And throw tampons her way. And as I am reading this, I keep thinking - what kind of mother won’t tell her child about menstruation, and puberty, and all the normal teenage phases a kid has to go through while growing up?

This moment, in the school bathroom, is the moment Carrie finds out about her powers.
And a few weeks later, a terrible thing happens.

This is a horror story, but the horror doesn’t lie in what Carrie did, but what led her to do that. Who it is to blame, and why things escalated the way they did.

Stephen King described bullying in its most painful and real way, and the consequences it can lead to. And it does happen, in every school, to a lot of children all over the world each day. A sometimes, most of the times, they are bullied only because they are different, not because they are bad.

This is a story that silently stands up to bullying, and by doing that raises such a strong voice in every corner of the world.

And remember - if you are the bully - think twice before you say things. Words can hurt, and they can result in bad things happening. Think twice about why you say what you say. The classmate of yours might have a talent you don’t know of.

And if you are the bullied child - also remember - you are kind and beautiful, no matter what everyone says. You shouldn’t let people bring you down. And we have all been bullied while growing up. Once you reach a certain age, people stop caring, and you stop caring what people think, and then, finally, you can be comfortable and happy with who you are!
  
Despicable Me 3 (2017)
Despicable Me 3 (2017)
2017 | Animation, Comedy
Minions! In short bursts (0 more)
The pointless subplots (0 more)
Time to stop making these now
The original Despicable Me is a firm favourite in our house. If we come across it while channel hopping, it usually stays on until the end and still manages to raise plenty of laughs. The second Despicable Me was OK, but not very memorable. The Minions movie was a train wreck, and proved that they’re at their best when in short bursts and as part of someone else’s movie. And now we have a third Despicable Me, which continues the trend set by the second of just being OK, but now with the added feeling that they really should stop making these.

A news report introduces us to 80s TV child star Balthazar Bratt. After a successful run of his own TV show, things went badly wrong for Balthazar when puberty hit and the squeaky voice and zits resulted in Hollywood ditching his show. Balthazar disappeared from the public eye and the report then asks the question ‘where is he now?’. Cut to the ocean, and a diamond heist on a ship which, if you’ve seen the relevant trailer, means you’ve pretty much seen the entire scene. Balthazar uses bubblegum as a weapon, along with a keytar, and enjoys tackling his enemies with 80s inspired dance fights. The scene ends with Gru, naked and caught up in the bubblegum, embarrassing himself as he floats through the city for all to see while a couple of minions enjoy themselves at a beach party. Yep, pretty much the whole original trailer has just played for us.

Gru and Lucy both find themselves sacked from the Anti-Villain league for failing to capture Balthazar during the heist but they don’t have long to think about what to do next before Gru discovers that he has a twin brother called Dru, that he knew nothing about. Dru got to live with his dad while Gru got to live with his mum following their parents split. They all then head off to Freedonia for a family reunion.

The rest of the movie is pretty much a big mess, with far too many dull and pointless subplots. The main story involves the two brothers, getting to know each other and eventually teaming up to recover the diamond from Balthazar once again and to finally capture him. But this is all at the expense of pretty much every other character in the movie. The Minions have already gone off on their own subplot, having left Gru to go in search of a more villain-like life. Ending up in jail, they soon decide that they miss Gru, so break out in order to try and get back to him in time for the end of the movie. And as for the girls – Agnes is on the hunt for a unicorn, because a bloke in the pub said there was one in the woods, Margo is trying to avoid a local boy who has a crush on her and Edith just doesn’t really feature very much at all. And after briefly helping Gru out at the start of the movie, the main focus for Lucy throughout the rest of the movie is to try and be accepted as a mum to the three girls.

The final act, with the brothers working together to stop Balthazar from getting his revenge and making a big mess in Hollywood, is fairly entertaining, and the Minions still manage to raise big laughs in pretty much every scene they feature, but overall this was pretty disappointing.
  
The New Mutants (2020)
The New Mutants (2020)
2020 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Character-driven storyline rather than wham-bam Marvel action (1 more)
Illyana Rasputin - great character
Very reminiscent of "Glass" (0 more)
"Glass" - Half Full.
So, I've heard a lot of bad word-of-mouth about this X-Men flick, but otherwise knew very little about it. As such, I went in with low expectations. And although there is nothing remotely novel about the movie, I didn't think it was too bad at all.

The plot: So, my review title suggests that the plot is very closely aligned to M Night Shymalan's "Glass" - his "Split" sequel from last year. A Victorian-style hospital-cum-prison similarly forms the claustrophobic setting for the majority of the movie. This is where the troubled teen Dani Moonstar (Blu Hunt) is taken after being suddenly orphaned in dramatic and mysterious circumstances. The only doctor present, Dr Reyes (Alice Braga), says she is being held there for her own - and society's safety - while her puberty-driven mutant tendencies emerge.

Locked away with her is Rahne (Maisie Williams), Charlie (Sam Guthrie), 'hot' Brazilian hunk Roberto (Henry Zaga) and the gloriously named Illyana Rasputin (Anya-Taylor Joy). Danni's arrival sparks a serious of escalating events that literally lead to all hell breaking loose.

Blu is the warmest colour: What made this Marvel movie stand-out for me, from the normal glass-shattering standard, is that it is predominantly a character-led piece. We spend quite a bit of time (for a Marvel movie) in building relationships between the teens, including a sweet lesbian-coming-out 'will they/won't they' tension between Rahne and Danni.

I was also very much attracted to the performance of Blu Hunt. I admit that this might not just be due to her interesting performance (the indigenous / LBGT angle is intriguing) but because she reminded me strongly of a girl at school who I had a mad crush on and completely failed to get off with! Blu is actually native American (from the Lakota tribe). Given she is the lead and has to carry the movie, it's a surprise that she is only about 5th in the billing: I'd have been upset with the director (Josh "A Fault in our Stars" Boone) about that.

Maisie Williams is also effective in this, and gets top billing, although arguably Anya-Taylor-Joy has emerged - with her wonderful "Emma" - as the bigger star since filming.

But it's Taylor-Joy's Rasputin that really stands out as the most interesting of the characters on show. There's a scene where she goes into action - eyes blazing and 'daemon' hovering - that would make a splendid PC screensaver! Stuff the "Black Widow" standalone movie: I'd go watch Illyana Rasputin kicking ass in her own follow-up movie! (Of course, Anya Taylor-Joy was also prominent in "Glass", which unfortunately cements the similarities between the films.)

The movie has had a long and tortuous path to its final release, being made waaaaaayyyyy back in 2017. As an X-Men movie, it's appeared after the X-Men universe finally imploded (with the disappointing whimper of "Dark Phoenix"). So in that sense it's a bit of a ghost of a flick.

Overall, it's a mixed bag. There's a sense of great familiarity with the contents - particularly with the strong echoes of "Glass", actually filmed after this one (but with 'inversion', who knows anymore?). Even the "Indian legend" that runs through the movie swaps a bear for a wolf but ends with a familiar, rather groan-inducing, motto. (It was used in "Tomorrowland" I think?)

But the young cast are attractive and entertained me for the (pleasantly short) running time. It's not going to win any prizes for originality, or indeed anything else. But it really wasn't the X-Men bust I expected it to be.

(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/09/08/x-men-the-new-mutants-2020-glass-half-full/ . Thanks.)
  
Lady Bird (2017)
Lady Bird (2017)
2017 | Comedy, Drama
“What if this is the best version”.
When did you grow up? I am now 57, and I’m still “working towards”! I remember distinctly though at the age of 16 thinking “I’ve got there”. And then again at 18. And then again at 21. And then again at 25…. There is something sweet about the certainty of youth that only life’s ultimate experiences can roughen the edges of.

“Lady Bird”, the directorial debut of Greta Gerwig, features one such teen who thinks she knows it all. Looking and acting for all the world like a 15 year old (something that Margot Robbie really can’t pull off in “I, Tonya”) Saoirse Ronan plays Christine McPherson who has the given name (“I gave the name to myself”) of ‘Lady Bird’. She is struggling with a lot of issues: an unreasonable and overbearing (parents: read ‘perfectly reasonably but firm’) mother (Laurie Metcalf, “Roseanne”); the issues of puberty and young love; the constrictions of a Catholic school she despises; and her inability to perform to the grades she needs to get into a college of her choice. That choice being on the East coast as far away from the backwater of Sacremento (“the mid-west of California” – LoL) as she can get.

Love comes in the form of two serial male fixations: the gorgeous and artistic Danny (Lucas Hedges, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”, “Manchester By The Sea”) and the aloof and enigmatic Kyle (Timothée Chalamet, “Call Me By Your Name”).

This is a near perfect coming of age film. The plot, while fairly superficial and covering ground well-trodden before, fully engages you and makes the running time just fly by. And there is just so much talent on show. The script by Gerwig is chocker-block full of great and memorable lines; Ronan is pitch-perfect as the irascible and cock-sure teen; Tracy Letts (“The Post“) is magnificent in the less showy role as the “good cop” dad, struggling invisibly with his own demons; and Metcalf gives an Oscar-nominated performance that really should give Alison Janney a run for her money… a drive away from an airport conveys just perfectly every college-age parent’s emotional low-point.

Where perhaps the film overplays its hand a bit is in the “wrong side of the tracks” line. The household while struggling is by no means trailer-park poor (compare and contrast with “I, Tonya”): perhaps this is the depths of financial desperation found in Sacremento? But I doubt it… there still seems to be money available for fancy cowgirl outfits.

Which leads me to the rating, which seems to have been a common rant in the last few weeks. I would have thought that there was nothing like this film to turn the mirror of reasonableness on a young teen, perhaps helping them to treat their parents better, work harder for college or make better choices. Yet it has a UK 15 certificate. And for what? There is a full frontal male photo-spread in “Playgirl” (I want to say “it’s a penis, get over it”, but if forced I would have frankly just snipped the 50 milliseconds out to get the lower rating). And there are a few (only a few) F- and C- words. I have the same problem here as with “Phantom Thread” – here is a high-class film that a young teen audience would absolutely love to see. I think the BBFC have got it wrong again here.

I cannot recommend this film enough: a tale of teenage life love and resolution that is hard to beat. Possibly one of the best coming of age tales I’ve ever seen. On the basis that it looks like I will never get to see “Call Me By Your Name” – the only major one I’ve missed – before this Sunday’s Oscar ceremony, what a great way to round off my Oscar-viewing season.
  
Alpha (Shifters, #6)
Alpha (Shifters, #6)
Rachel Vincent | 2010 | Science Fiction/Fantasy
2
8.0 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
Well, that was disappointing. I'm honestly sorry that I ever read that first book (which I got free somehow?). I remember being annoyed at the spelling of the main character's name, "Faythe." I should have stopped then.

The way the plot wound up, for the most part, had no real surprises. Anybody who has followed the series has to have figured out what was going to happen by now. It's been foreshadowed - heck, shouted from the rooftops.

No, my disappointment is in the way the damned romance thing was handled.

If you've bothered to read this but haven't read the series, I'm surprised. Anyway, we have a classic love triangle between Faythe, Marc, and Jace. The setting is supposed to be current day America with a twist - the characters are werecats, part of a hidden subculture.

We all know that mainstream Americans are supposedly monogamous but more serially monogamous and closet - something - in practice. Anyway, werecat society is fiercely monogamous. Females are rare, and they're supposed to hit puberty, get married, and produce the next generation with their One True Love. Period. No other options.

So Faythe has defied tradition so far. She went to college. Good for her! She had a boyfriend there. Even better! A non-Pride boyfriend. Great! (To my way of thinking, not her subculture's). She left her guy, Marc, standing at the altar to do all that, though. Eww - not classy.

But after she goes back home, she gets back together with Marc. Hmph.

Then she "connects" with Jace. That means "has sex with." Ooo, bad idea, since she was in a committed relationship with Marc at the time. Very bad idea. But Oh, They were Grieving! Together! For her brother and his best friend, who had just been treacherously killed by enemies! So of course the way to do that, instead of talking about their memories of him, is to roll around naked in the middle of a public room, right?

Um, not the way I'd do it, but, apparently that's their way. They do their grieving with a lot more alcohol than I would too, though.

They don't get caught, at least - not then. No, an enemy figures it out due to how the three interact, and tells Marc, and he believes the enemy (because everybody believes enemies over allies in the heat of battle). And they're all too immature to put the crap behind them and just deal with the fact that they're in the middle of a "war," too.

I kept wanting to spank all of them, and it wasn't because I found any of them sexy.

I did hope, at first, that bringing Jace in as a love interest - and Faythe does repeat, over and over and over again, that she loves Jace, that it wasn't "just sex" - might mean that there was hope for some sort of surprise in the end of the book. That would have been nice, right? Something of a twist that didn't lead to an unhappy ending? I would have loved to see that!

She's going to be the first female Alpha, so why not the first Alpha with two husbands? She'll be the first Alpha who has to deal with pregnancy, so why not have one husband to protect her while she's pregnant and another to get deal with what has to be done in person? What a concept?

My hope was buoyed by the fact that Vincent deliberately developed Jase as a decent potential partner, showing him taking care of Faythe well when she's injured, supporting her as she would need to be supporting when she takes over the Pride as Alpha, and working well with Marc and others repeatedly.

Marc, on the other hand, is a jerk, slamming doors, stomping around, and doing everything but pissing on the furniture to mark his territory.

Just once, I want to see a hero or heroine walk away when someone says, "I cant live without you!" I want to see someone say, "Whoa - that's WAY unhealthy, babe! You need THERAPY!"

Instead, Faythe's father tells her to "Choose the one you can't live without." UGH. Thanks, Daddy! Codependent much?

Do I think she chose the wrong Tom? Absolutely. But - she's a spoiled brat, and she chose a jealous ass. They deserve each other. Let the sweet, loving man go find the sweet, loving woman he deserves. Hopefully he'll stop the drunken escapades and keep it in his pants from now on. Maybe Kaci will grow up to be his Tabby?

Anyway, there you have it. Volume Eleventy Billion and thirteen of How To Do Dysfunctional Relationships.

Next, please!
  
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Time Traveler's Wife
Audrey Niffenegger | 2003 | Fiction & Poetry, Romance, Science Fiction/Fantasy
2
8.2 (40 Ratings)
Book Rating
I've been thinking a lot about what I would write about <i>The Time Traveler's Wife,</i> partly because it seems one usually falls into one of two camps: Love it, hate it. It turns out, I belong to the latter. I won't bother with the sci-fi elements, the could he/couldn't he, the exploration of time travel as a plot device - I'm always willing to engage with a story as long as it follows it's own rules. My problems run deeper.

Spoilers abound.

<spoiler>

First, I'd be remiss not to at least acknowledge the creepy factor of a 40 year old naked man befriending a 6 year old girl. It's been discussed ad nauseum, but I've got to put my two cents in.
The whole experience reeks of grooming. Henry shows up, naked, in a young girl's life and (although true) casually explains that he's a <i>time traveler</i>. Her imagination is hooked. Her very own secret Magic Man. Over the following years, their friendship blossoms, and Henry refuses to tell her anything about the future. He is friendly, charming even, and always respectful. But he remains an enigma. Clare is pulled in by the mystery of the Magic Man. All she knows are the dates of his future arrivals. Until one day he begins to break his rule and tell her that they will be together. They'll get married and be in love and have a life. What changed? Why is he suddenly willing to tell her snippets of her future life? Puberty. She admits her desire to be with him and he basically says "keep waiting, it'll happen."

From that moment, her life has been decided - by Henry, and for Henry. Clare spends the entirety of her teenage existence (and beyond) waiting on Henry. The whole of her character arc is basically one big middle finger to the Bechdel test. Henry leads her by a leash with clues and vague promises of the future. We'll be together when you're older (we're destined). We'll have sex on your 18th birthday (wait for me). We'll meet in Chicago (move to Chicago). Even after his dying breath, he subtly slides direction her way. "I hope you move on, but by the way, I'll drop by when you're EIGHTY. But by all means...move on." Is it coincidence that Henry's time traveling mimics an emotionally abusive relationship? Clare tells us, "Henry is an artist of another sort, a disappearing artist. Our life together in this too-small apartment is punctuated by Henry’s small absences. Sometimes he disappears unobtrusively . . . Sometimes it’s frightening." Sure, you say, but he can't help it. He wants to be there for her. <i>It's just the way he is.</i> It's not even hinted at. Multiple people tell Clare <b>to her face</b> that Henry is bad news. But she won't hear it, because he spent her entire childhood molding her into his wife.
The author doesn't hide the allusion to Homer. Rather, she beats us over the head with it. And sure, it makes sense; Clare is the patiently waiting wife, Henry the distant traveler. Even Alba takes up her role as Telemachus, going on her own journeys in search of her father. But do we need both main characters referring to Henry by name, as Odysseus? We get it, girl. You want to write your own romantic Odyssey. Ease up.

Oh, and by the way - Clare's quote above? That's one of her first comments on married life. Her first thoughts after the wedding are "Why is my husband always gone? Why am I always afraid for him?" Henry's first thoughts? "How can Clare listen to Cheap Trick?" Let me remind you that this is the guy who's willing to rattle off a comprehensive list of early punk before jumping up to join in singing a Prince song, but he's upset that his wife listens to The Eagles instead of some obscure as hell French punk band. Also, this man who is thrilled to share musical tastes with a young teen with a mohawk then laments that the kid can't find his own music and has to take his? He preaches the meaning of punk before privately questioning why those kids want to be punk? Here's a guy who's entire life was shaped by music - both of his parents made livings playing music written before they were even born, yet he can't comprehend why two preteens could (or should) like The Clash, or why Clare would like The Beatles. <i>Stay in your own time,</i> he is essentially saying, <i>leave the time traveling to me.</i>

The guy doesn't even realize the pain he causes. Ingrid asks him "Why were you so mean to me?" "Was I," he says, "I didn't want to be." I know, I know. Everyone around her didn't want him to see her or speak to her. But need I remind you - dude time travels and frequently gives himself tips from the future. "Hey pal, take it easy on Ingrid," or "Bro, Ingrid is really shaken up, don't listen to her family or doctor, she needs some closure." But of course, nothing can really change, everything is the way it is.

This is all before I even begin to mention how much Niffenegger LOVES to name-drop. Of course there's the aforementioned punk band name-vomit, mentions of Henry's parents' work can't go by without naming a specific piece, despite adding nothing to the story or our understanding of the characters, there are two separate references to Claude Levi-Strauss (why?), and various other casual mentions of figures that seem to serve no purpose other than to prove that Henry is smart, and knows smart people things.

</spoiler>

I wanted to like this book more, I thought it had a fascinating premise and an interesting perspective. Obviously, I'm not a regular consumer of romance, and I realize that the problems I have with this book are problems shared by a large portion of the genre. But I am positive that we can have a love story that isn't mired by (at best) morally ambiguous relationships. I understand it was a different world when it was published, and that's not directly anyone's fault. Questions of consent and power and respect have been thrust into the spotlight in the short years since this book was published, but that's the lens with which I have to peer through. Stop glorifying these vapid, and frankly, abusive relationships as the paragon of romance. We're better than this. We need to be.